As a Ghanaian girl I understand how aggressive African men can be with their pursuits. So, I was at an Afrobeat event just minding my business. This Nigerian man walks up to me and proceeds to tell me how god had showed my face to him in his dreams, how we were meant to be together and how he couldn't wait to take me back home to his mother.... At some point while pouring his heart out, he gets in close to my ear and in the thickest accent whispers, "Please, don't take offence but... I WOULD LIKE TO CULTIVATE YOUR HARVEST " X______X I snapped my head around only to find him grinning like the Grinch. These men can be something else lol
the weirdest pickup line i heard often especially when i was younger was "how old are you" mostly because of what it implies. like, sir, if you think i am too young for you the WHY. ARE. YOU. TRYING. TO. HOLLER. it's a travesty how little some men respect the sanctity of girlhood.
+Devonn Thomas Yeah, I was going to say the same thing because growing up I got that often. And there was one time in particular that I'll never forget because this 20-something yr old asked me that shit before answering "I'm 13." Mind you, I was actually 16 but I definitely looked younger and I wanted him to get the fuck away from me. You know what that nigga did? He proceeded to follow me around the store while "explaining the pros to dating an older guy." Girl... it took me a mere minute to yell as loud as I could "NIGGA, I TOLD YOU I'M 13! WHY THE FUCK YOU BOTHERING ME?" His pedo ass got the fucking message then lol.
6 років тому+12
I'm 32 but look 17 and still get this. Or "are you legal" like sir if you're even questioning it why are you hollering. Fucking pefo
Omg yesss my reply was always jail bait then I walk the worst was when this dude followed me and was how much of a jail bait are you had me shook are you serious
I was at the bus stop and this West Indian guy pulls up in his car and was like "Aye, My girl, Blue Jacket, Long Braid" The final call had me in tears. He said, "Good Nutrition". I think I cackled and snorted at the same time.
Ha! Worst pickup line I ever dealt with was walking home from the supermarket during the summertime. A guy walking past me said "Damn girl, body looking like a glass of milk." In retrospect he was probably trying to say I looked liked I'd be good for him. All I can remember thinking at the time was "But I'm wearing yellow."
Craziest line I ever heard was "I'll drink your bath water through a crazy straw." Lol That was 8 years ago but it still cracks me up every time I think about it.
I have never cringed and laughed so much at the same time, your comedic timing is impeccable also a moment of silence for all the creepy guys who approach us and think they're the biggest catches in town
The creepist come on from a guy I have ever experienced was when this older African guy tried to chat me up on the bus, he asked me how old I was and when I told him I was 18 he said 'Oh I though you were 15 never mind' then stoped talking to me. While I was grateful he was out of my face, it so creepy that he was turned off because 18 was too old for him.
He volunteered your uterus for a 16 mile marathon 😭😭😭. While on a trip to Ghana, I had a man grab my hand while I was walking with my mom in the market and propose marriage. Before i could say anything, my mom yanked my hand from his and called him an uneducated goat amongst other words I can't repeat. I held the laughter in till we walked far away from him.
NaturallyMeAbs girl similar story😂I was walking in the market in Ghana and some guy grabs my hand and says hey girl what's your name, and I'm like eyy I yank it back so fast and my cousins were laughing no jokes though I was like twelve😂
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWW! That tops ALL I've ever heard. Who has that line worked on and how many kids does this dude ALREADY have? 🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼
Flying back home from Ireland going through TSA again in New York. Dude seent me talking to Mr. Hallease. Watched us conversing as husband and wife the entire time we're in the line (this NY, the line is LONG) checks Mr. Hallease through and let's him get far enough away. I hand him my passport, he literally forces me to talk to him and holds my passport hostage. I'm just lookin' at him like...bae is right there...why are you even wasting your time...my bae is RIGHT THERE. Blatant disrespect. Not only that, bruh you holdin' up the line. Everybody is shading you.
I CANT BELIEVE HE SAID THAT TO YOU LMAO... im so sorry omg.. well my worst pick up line i recieved is very inappropriate..its was.. "Daisys or Lillys" assuming he was being sweet i answered "lillys they are actually one of my favorite" then he said..........."Good i wanted to know what to put on your coffin, after i murder that p*ssy". I WAS SEVERLY SHOCKED MORTIFIED SND FULL OF ANGER... i just walked away and never looked back lol
July 4th 2011 (maybe 2012) - I was at a John Legend concert with my family in a big field under the Arch in St Louis, followed by 4th of July fireworks. Everything was great, whatever. After the fireworks, the crowd packed up their lawnchairs and blankets and whatnot. We already knew that the walk back to our cars and the traffic getting out was gonna be terrible, so we just sit and chill while we wait for the rush to cool down a bit. There's mad people going past us - kids, parents, grandparents, aunties, uncles, etc. Some lady and her friends were on their way out, but right as she went past my chair she said "Ooh, you a fine piece o' light skin," and then she reaches down and quickly glides her hand against my chest and then pinches my nipple. Then she keeps walking without looking back. My parents and I just looked at each other in confusion for 30 seconds (which felt MUCH longer).
Too funny. My weirdest pick up line happened in Houston Hobby airport when I stopped at a table full of CD's from a harpist who was playing. This dude walks up and says " you look like the kind of woman who could buy all those CDs." I looked at him so hard, the harpist stopped playing and backed her harp away from the table. After exchanging a few choice words and getting my message across to him, the harpist, who was a sister said she moved her harp because she thought I was going to go to blows.
First day waiting tables. Really old dude. Like 80+ easy. "Darling, you look like my granddaughter." Okay, cute old dude whatever. "That's sexy." whaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Please go away forever.
Ah so I'm Ghanaian and so I went to the Ghana Fest in Chicago. There was this 30 year old guy (I was 22) came up to me and asked why I looked so sad. I said I wasn't. Then he grabbed my arm (dude is strong) and puts his other arm around me and we walk around the park as he introduced me to strangers as well as his family as his fiance? He was even saying that our wedding was in a couple months? I was literally struggling to get free. As soon as he loosened his grip I took off lol. Avoided him for the rest of the day.
I was walking to the bus stop today and this guy was trying to holler at me. I'm all the way ON THE OPPOSITE side of the street. "Aye girl! You too sexy to be walking!" 😕😐? Alright. Then he proceeded to ask me if I had pretty toes. I've never crossed a street so fast and ferociously in my life.
When I was out with some of my friends, one of them had on this patent leather jacket. Dude say 'girl you know patent leather is my favorite color' LOL
I guess I missed this one (hops off late bus to tell story) This guy who worked at the mixtape booth in Northland (Mall frequented by Detroiters) came up to me and said "You light skinned, I'm light skinned... We can get together and make some clear babies"....... I was so focking disgusted
A guy that smiled at me at work everyday (sometimes winked) had a bitch fit the day he saw me in glasses (I was trying out contact lenses before that). Got really close in my face and got emosh saying he had already phoned home and told his mother about me. How was I going to carry his children when I have a disease. My glasses. I kid you not, then he stormed off. We never spoke before or after this again.
Omg i DIED laughing at this video 😂😂😂😂 Unfortunately I too had a interesting encounter with an nigerian man. He use to work with me. I'm a nurse and at the end of each shift we have to record who we gave hand off report to. I asked if he could spell his last name for me. He spelled it and then told me to remember it because it would be my last name very soon. That wasn't the weird part. Every Time i gave him report he said "we have to speak to IT about changing your name in the system because you ARE my wife" 😶😳🙄☹️. Can you say crazy! It was a longgg few weeks!
It's a toss-up between the elderly gentleman who approached me in Prospect Park to ask if I was a virgin (and then tell me what he'd like to do to my virgin genitalia - I was like 15) and the dude who bypassed me entirely to introduce himself to my mother. He introduced himself as her future son-in-law. BRB, GAGGING.
Weirdest yet scariest pick up line I've ever heard: "You better give me your number next time I see you or I 'll choke you out" After that he proceeded to laugh...but I didn't really know what was funny about that. I was scared as hell...had me looking at niggas sideways my first semester of college lol
So great. So great. Not great that he felt you were obliged to have his 16 kids from a conversation on the beach but great you've made it here to tell us this story. (sans kids)
I was out one night in Chicago and on the train home at 2 AM this older guy sits RIGHT NEXT TO ME on this empty ass train and proceeds to ask me if he reminded me of my father (????????), and if I wanted to go home with him. 😷😷😷😷😷😷😷
Wildest "pickup" line/story. this dude saw me reading a book and eating a mint he sits down goes "woooow u read books" (while in a bookstore mind u) then goes "the way u keep that mint on ya tounge *insert gross grunting*". I refuse to give him my number but gives him my fb to make him go away...dude posts(&tags me within secs) "big girls make me wanna buss all in it raw"......I hadn't even walked 15ft away from him yet....😒
Seriously we need to start yelling rape cause God knows these men pretty much do that in their heads. And then tell us as though its ok. That is HORRIBLE.
Like the fact that you would say that to someone you have sexual, emotional, or personal connection with is gross...like Sr. I literally don't know you. And tbh I gave dude my fb cause I didn't feel like getting cussed out that day, which is sad to say but we all know it happens
I had a taxi driver once, after dropping me off from the grocery store, tell me that he would like it if he could come to my apartment and cook for him. Keep in mind that he was the worst taxi driver I have ever had: he was late; it was raining and chilly, and he watched me struggle to put in my bags because he didn't open up the trunk; took the second longest route to my place; and proceeded to pry into my personal life. My biggest regret is that I didn't take down the cab number and his name to complain to his supervisor.
Two that stick out for me - 1) grabbing lunch at the work cafeteria (it was catfish Friday during Lent and I was pumped) and "Big Country" (his name in my head henceforth after this incident) proceeds to tell me "I've seen you in here for a while now and I've always wondered what your voice sounded like".....um, ok; 2) returning from lunch, crossing the street, headphones on, minding my own business. Next thing I know, my left arm is being yoked up as if someone is kidnapping my arse! The Souf (aka South) Side of Chicago came out in me and I swung. Turns out it was a damn fool Traffic Enforcement dude who proceeds to tell me "I had to stop you and tell you how beautiful you were". MUTHA***KA if you don't let me go!!!
OMG girl I know how you feel. Once I was at the bus terminal waiting for my bus and a man approaced me. He told me he was Nigerian and he was in in the country to work and he was a nurse or something. He should me his ID as if I cared to prove to me he was real I guess. Mind you I was just minding my own business and I wan't trying to even make contact to him when he was talking but then he told me he's lonely and needs a queen then asked me what I can do for him...ummmm....Boy if you don't get the hell out of here I thought. It was so awkward I was praying for that bus to hurry and come and hoped he wasn't getting on the same bus. I could feel him undressing me with his eyes. Did he really think that was a great pick up line? I can't even LOL
Wow! My worst was when a man (who I am sure is old enough to be my father) was staring at me and I asked why. He said he was imagining a baby coming out of me 0_o. Why lawd?!
That teeth sucking and Kenyan accent is everything . But the weirdest line I ever got is " my mom and wife will love you too. There is so much to do back home that they would be happy to have help with the children " ......say what ??!! I was at a baby naming ceremony and coming out of the BATHROOM and he approached me to say this ......I can't even.
I was the supervisor and someone I was supervising on our graveyard shift told me I should have his baby out of nowhere. I lost it as professionally as possible. Let's just say homeboy ain't EVAH come at me with that bs ever again. But he was from Brooklyn, so, yeah it ain't just Nigeria.
omg you're face at 3:16 had me crying...like actually tears TT.TT The weirdest line I have ever heard was once I was walking with a friend of mine and this guys strolls by and says. "D**n look at all that cake." but what confused me was when he followed that statement up with "I like ham". My face was just O.O like bruh...maybe you need to go get a sandwich. I do believe there's a subway nearby. WTF did that even mean?
I'm in tears! I've never heard anything like that, and I'm thankful for it! 3:16-3:20 needs to be a gif. That expression works for so many terrible responses I've heard. The one that immediately comes to mind is those people who tell me I'm articulate like they're surprised, like I'm not allowed to speak intelligibly because of what I look like. Or those people who tell me I'm pretty for a big girl. I haven't had anyone go beyond "ay wassup" or "what's yo name" or "you tryna talk?", and if I did, I probably thoroughly suppressed the memory. I have been followed though, and when I respectfully decline their advances all of a sudden they hate me and have a million things to insult me for. Those guys irk me.
Wow.... That's so over the top. I had an old man I met in a park tell me that I had something on my face, let him get it for me, and then have him try to french kiss me. That was awkward.
When I was 13 years old, I was on a cramped van/bus type thing(? maybe if you've been on one you know what I mean) in Lebanon when an old guy in the seat in front of me kept making weird eye contact throughout the whole trip. Near the end he dropped a piece of paper into my lap, written on it was his number and then a sum of money (don't remember how much). Right before he got off I handed it back to him, with an "I think you dropped something..."
Oh I've had a few proposition me to go half on a baby BUT like this one black boy was like "I don't even like black girls like that but you cute." He said this at my friend's baby's birthday. Like his biracial ass son was running in between our legs and he was like "I'm a self hating ass nigga and I want to share my internalized racism with you"
I completely forgot about the time I was walking home from school after completing an exam (I was 15 at the time and wearing school uniform ) this 40+ man asks where I live, and that he wants " to unite us to become one, so you should give me your number " I saw some friends across the road and I ran🏃I didn't even check to see if the road was clear to cross
Everytime you hit that accent I JUST diiiieeeee 😭😭😭😭!!!!!!! A guy asked me and my Puerto Rican friend if we were married. She lied yes I kept it real trill and said no and he said "oh I figured you weren't.....you know cause you're dark skinned." I was youngish and wasn't aware that this was a pick up line until I discussed it with some friends and my mom later. Apparently it was said to make me feel the need to impressed him? Still boggles the mind to this day! Like..... #bishwheeeeet
I know this is an. Old video but.strangest line was on a date a had a guy tell me "been married 4 times, I think I have a fifth in me" crawled out the bathroom window.
I'm simultaneously crying with laughter and despairing at men. I've had so many weird male encounters but I think the one that had me most ??!?!?!?! was when I was 18, and this boy who couldn't have been older than 14 came up and slapped my arse so hard it stung and left a red mark and said "alright hottie". like, 1) I'm clearly way too old for you? what are you thinking?? and 2) why do you think doing it so hard to cause me actual pain is going to endear me to you in anyway.
this is funny, scary, and creepy at the same time. I had a guy trying to hit on me outside a restaurant, who in the middle of his "game", paused to tell a man nearby that if he looked at him like that again he was going to have to BEND. HIM. OVER. it was in that moment I gave up all hope. all of it. -_-
I was in Walmart guy walks up to me and asked me who did I belong to... My answer: Jesus... His response: Oh yeah me too but I'm asking if you have a man.... really like I'm property now! Blank stare walk off
A crusty @$$ Negro once had the nerve to say to me "let me get those 10 digits, so I can give you these 10 inches". I have never power walked across a parking lot to get to my car as I did that day!! #Eeeewww!
Omg when I was in high school I remember being on the computer in the public library and this guy came over and sat next to me and just wouldn't leave. I was shy back then so I just answered his questions politely and then after a while he stated that we were together... in a relationship.... As soon as he got up to use the bathroom, I was out! I really can't stand the be cat called even today. Many guys just don't take no for an answer or they get offended and bad mouth you on the street. I am also gay and one time I just openly told a guy that I was gay and wasn't interested and he followed me down the street. Not fun! I've realized that you have to be assertive sometimes and keep it moving.
I can't think of any right now, but girl! I'm gonna have to make a gif of you stepping away, walking off screen, and coming back with that confused/disgusted look on your face. lol
When I was at a restaurant waiting to pick up my food, this old white guy who looked like Santa Claus came and stood next to me. We had a pretty normal conversation at first....then his old ass asked me "So, are you down with the swirl?" It totally caught me off guard, but I just said no (mind you, I have no problem with interracial relations). I think I pissed him off because he walked off, but as he was walking off he said, "Yes you do, I don't know why you are playing around" and had the nerve to have an attitude.
Haha Evelyn I feel you, girl. Just got back from Ghana. Was chilling at the beach and decided to go in the water. When I'm about waist deep this dude who's been loitering around off to my right saunters into view and we do that unfortunate eye catch thing. He said hi and I made the fatal mistake of opening my mouth and saying hi back to which he responded "Ohhh Black American!! *gross noise* You *more gross noise* are *gross* beautiful." Not so bad, right? Standard. But mind you I'm waist deep in water with this random creep feelin a bit more vulnerable than the usual. So...I threw him my ugliest face and away I swam to safety. 😩
In philly while waiting in line for my cheesesteak the line cook asked me where my silver hat was. I looked behind me because I had no idea what he was talking about. I said, "excuse me?" And he repeated his question about this silver hat. I was just concerned about my cheesesteak. Then he laughed and said girl you look like a Hershey's kiss. I just smiled with no teeth until he handed over my food that he was holding hostage. Then I walked away.
I love it! "Pewm, Pewm, Pewm!" The Kenyan baby pistol???? LOL You are a riot. Also, before I found your channel, I thought I was the only one who said anything like "the innanets", which is what I calls it. I even looked it up on The Google hahaha. I don't ever want you to stop making videos, I think I'd wilt or something if you did.
I hope ya'll sitting down for this one... Before going away for school I used to go to Yoga everyday. Because of the way I would take to go home, I had to use a certain train platform. As Im walking down the train platform, I see one guy's eyes start to follow me. Eventually he started to walk towards me as well. I kid you not, his pickup line was "Excuse me miss, do I have any spit on the back of my neck?" What? He goes on to tell me abt some arguement he got on the train with a couple because he was hitting on the guy's girl, so the guy spit on him. Then he says "But I know that wouldnt happen to you, right? Cuz you'll fuck a bitch up, wont let no n**ga do you like that" WHAT? This whole time he's talking to me, Im looking around, checking my surroundings, holding onto my purse strap, and even making sure Im a safe distance from the platform edge so he cant push me if he wanted to. Eventually I tell him Im tired and Im not interested. He says "I was just tryna make conversation" Fuck outta here with your conversation!!! I look like Im 18, and you basically had this whole conversation by ya damn self!!! :
Lol i can relate to this! Ahah, when I was traveling across Benin, West Africa guys kept coming up to me because they assumed I was a foreigner. I kept it cordial, blatantly ignored bummies ( bums) and chatted w/ those of them who were respectful.
I used to work at an amusement park when I was 14-15 years old and I'd get hit own from preteens to fully grown men and women. A train went around the park and I had to wave at passengers aboard and frequently people would seek me out from the train. I was also told (being a person with naturally light eyes and very dark brown hair) that so and so would have proposed to me if I had red hair instead. Was that supposed to work?
As a Ghanaian girl I understand how aggressive African men can be with their pursuits. So, I was at an Afrobeat event just minding my business. This Nigerian man walks up to me and proceeds to tell me how god had showed my face to him in his dreams, how we were meant to be together and how he couldn't wait to take me back home to his mother.... At some point while pouring his heart out, he gets in close to my ear and in the thickest accent whispers, "Please, don't take offence but... I WOULD LIKE TO CULTIVATE YOUR HARVEST " X______X I snapped my head around only to find him grinning like the Grinch. These men can be something else lol
+von333von noooooo! Naija men do the absolute most lol
😂😂😂😂😂 wtf? Cultivate your harvest!? My God.
+Kaye Camp Same thing I said! LOLOLOLOL
Lmaooooo! My lawd
+von333von LMAO omg
the weirdest pickup line i heard often especially when i was younger was "how old are you" mostly because of what it implies. like, sir, if you think i am too young for you the WHY. ARE. YOU. TRYING. TO. HOLLER. it's a travesty how little some men respect the sanctity of girlhood.
+Devonn Thomas Yeah, I was going to say the same thing because growing up I got that often. And there was one time in particular that I'll never forget because this 20-something yr old asked me that shit before answering "I'm 13." Mind you, I was actually 16 but I definitely looked younger and I wanted him to get the fuck away from me. You know what that nigga did? He proceeded to follow me around the store while "explaining the pros to dating an older guy."
Girl... it took me a mere minute to yell as loud as I could "NIGGA, I TOLD YOU I'M 13! WHY THE FUCK YOU BOTHERING ME?" His pedo ass got the fucking message then lol.
I'm 32 but look 17 and still get this. Or "are you legal" like sir if you're even questioning it why are you hollering. Fucking pefo
Omg yesss my reply was always jail bait then I walk the worst was when this dude followed me and was how much of a jail bait are you had me shook are you serious
Devonn Thomas we
Facts
I was at the bus stop and this West Indian guy pulls up in his car and was like "Aye, My girl, Blue Jacket, Long Braid" The final call had me in tears. He said, "Good Nutrition". I think I cackled and snorted at the same time.
I'm screaming!
sounds like a a jamaican man lol
hahahahahah
Kemiesha Kelly definitely a Jamaican, I know my people
Hahaha Hahaha!
Worst. Pick up like " I think I've met you in my dreams " 😂😂 better go back and sleep BOY
LOL, great response.
Looool
Ha! Worst pickup line I ever dealt with was walking home from the supermarket during the summertime. A guy walking past me said "Damn girl, body looking like a glass of milk."
In retrospect he was probably trying to say I looked liked I'd be good for him. All I can remember thinking at the time was "But I'm wearing yellow."
*dead*
WHY AM I IN TEARSSSSS!?
+Serene Janine Girl, YOU HAVE ME ON THE FLOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hollered so hard at this!
+Serene Janine Huh like half full..
I'm tall. 6ft. 6'4 in heels... once walking home from a party a guy yelled... "daddy long legs... can I talk to you?"
+Courtney Jones I know. it was so weird.
omg lolol
Noooo lol 😂😂
Kenya Cummings 😂😂😂
Kenya Cummings this bitch called you a SPIDER?!😑
Craziest line I ever heard was "I'll drink your bath water through a crazy straw." Lol That was 8 years ago but it still cracks me up every time I think about it.
Khambria oh no!!! think he's seen the color purple too many times, thought you were shug avery 😂😂😂😂
🤢 creep
I have never cringed and laughed so much at the same time, your comedic timing is impeccable
also a moment of silence for all the creepy guys who approach us and think they're the biggest catches in town
Aleksandra Trzeciak we
Aleksandra Trzeciak you
The creepist come on from a guy I have ever experienced was when this older African guy tried to chat me up on the bus, he asked me how old I was and when I told him I was 18 he said 'Oh I though you were 15 never mind' then stoped talking to me. While I was grateful he was out of my face, it so creepy that he was turned off because 18 was too old for him.
Yikes!
He volunteered your uterus for a 16 mile marathon 😭😭😭. While on a trip to Ghana, I had a man grab my hand while I was walking with my mom in the market and propose marriage. Before i could say anything, my mom yanked my hand from his and called him an uneducated goat amongst other words I can't repeat. I held the laughter in till we walked far away from him.
NaturallyMeAbs girl similar story😂I was walking in the market in Ghana and some guy grabs my hand and says hey girl what's your name, and I'm like eyy I yank it back so fast and my cousins were laughing no jokes though I was like twelve😂
Wow! You're mom had some sick burns!
What!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWW! That tops ALL I've ever heard. Who has that line worked on and how many kids does this dude ALREADY have? 🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼
Wow hey man!
Flying back home from Ireland going through TSA again in New York. Dude seent me talking to Mr. Hallease. Watched us conversing as husband and wife the entire time we're in the line (this NY, the line is LONG) checks Mr. Hallease through and let's him get far enough away. I hand him my passport, he literally forces me to talk to him and holds my passport hostage. I'm just lookin' at him like...bae is right there...why are you even wasting your time...my bae is RIGHT THERE. Blatant disrespect. Not only that, bruh you holdin' up the line. Everybody is shading you.
Hallease 😱 what did y'all do?
I CANT BELIEVE HE SAID THAT TO YOU LMAO... im so sorry omg.. well my worst pick up line i recieved is very inappropriate..its was.. "Daisys or Lillys" assuming he was being sweet i answered "lillys they are actually one of my favorite" then he said..........."Good i wanted to know what to put on your coffin, after i murder that p*ssy". I WAS SEVERLY SHOCKED MORTIFIED SND FULL OF ANGER... i just walked away and never looked back lol
Wow. 😳
Right.. i cant even tell you the feeling i felt.. LOL
😂 that's kinda funny though. not expecting that .
+Shanté G oh . my . god.
WHAT THE HELL
+Shanté G I'm crying, what goes though mens minds that makes them ever open their mouths and say things like that to women
lol I remember this one that goes you must be a yam because my heart is pounding for you lollllll
lol!!!
+Anne Cuthers LOL WHAAAAAAAAAAT? Nooo
😂😂that one's good lol
July 4th 2011 (maybe 2012) -
I was at a John Legend concert with my family in a big field under the Arch in St Louis, followed by 4th of July fireworks. Everything was great, whatever. After the fireworks, the crowd packed up their lawnchairs and blankets and whatnot. We already knew that the walk back to our cars and the traffic getting out was gonna be terrible, so we just sit and chill while we wait for the rush to cool down a bit. There's mad people going past us - kids, parents, grandparents, aunties, uncles, etc. Some lady and her friends were on their way out, but right as she went past my chair she said "Ooh, you a fine piece o' light skin," and then she reaches down and quickly glides her hand against my chest and then pinches my nipple. Then she keeps walking without looking back.
My parents and I just looked at each other in confusion for 30 seconds (which felt MUCH longer).
Too funny. My weirdest pick up line happened in Houston Hobby airport when I stopped at a table full of CD's from a harpist who was playing. This dude walks up and says " you look like the kind of woman who could buy all those CDs." I looked at him so hard, the harpist stopped playing and backed her harp away from the table. After exchanging a few choice words and getting my message across to him, the harpist, who was a sister said she moved her harp because she thought I was going to go to blows.
Regina C I don't get it. He was saying you look rich?
😂The harpist was like "hold my harp"
First day waiting tables. Really old dude. Like 80+ easy. "Darling, you look like my granddaughter." Okay, cute old dude whatever. "That's sexy." whaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Please go away forever.
+lyadmilo WTF
You win the award for worst pick up line received😩
Ahh this guy at Afrofest in Toronto gave me his number and as I walked away he was like "remember, that number won't grow kids on its own."
L
O
L
woow
Nice one 🤣
Ah so I'm Ghanaian and so I went to the Ghana Fest in Chicago. There was this 30 year old guy (I was 22) came up to me and asked why I looked so sad. I said I wasn't. Then he grabbed my arm (dude is strong) and puts his other arm around me and we walk around the park as he introduced me to strangers as well as his family as his fiance? He was even saying that our wedding was in a couple months? I was literally struggling to get free. As soon as he loosened his grip I took off lol. Avoided him for the rest of the day.
I was walking to the bus stop today and this guy was trying to holler at me. I'm all the way ON THE OPPOSITE side of the street. "Aye girl! You too sexy to be walking!" 😕😐? Alright. Then he proceeded to ask me if I had pretty toes. I've never crossed a street so fast and ferociously in my life.
Chelapop 😂
Chelapop we
When I was out with some of my friends, one of them had on this patent leather jacket. Dude say 'girl you know patent leather is my favorite color' LOL
+NaturallyGlamTV Pah!
😂😂😂
smart guy
Lol! Did he have a snaggletooth on the side?!
I literally just gasped. LOL
I guess I missed this one (hops off late bus to tell story) This guy who worked at the mixtape booth in Northland (Mall frequented by Detroiters) came up to me and said "You light skinned, I'm light skinned... We can get together and make some clear babies"....... I was so focking disgusted
Chateau Abrielle 😂😂😂 clearly he had no sense😂😂
Chateau Abrielle what in the hell 😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂 No. No. What.
Lmao clear? How though?! 😂 Creep
😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 he wanna make transparent kids
im sorry but this is really funny
Okay...We'll keep in touch! 😂😂😂😒
A guy that smiled at me at work everyday (sometimes winked) had a bitch fit the day he saw me in glasses (I was trying out contact lenses before that). Got really close in my face and got emosh saying he had already phoned home and told his mother about me. How was I going to carry his children when I have a disease. My glasses. I kid you not, then he stormed off. We never spoke before or after this again.
😂 😂 😂 😂 😂
Omg i DIED laughing at this video 😂😂😂😂
Unfortunately I too had a interesting encounter with an nigerian man. He use to work with me. I'm a nurse and at the end of each shift we have to record who we gave hand off report to. I asked if he could spell his last name for me. He spelled it and then told me to remember it because it would be my last name very soon. That wasn't the weird part. Every Time i gave him report he said "we have to speak to IT about changing your name in the system because you ARE my wife" 😶😳🙄☹️. Can you say crazy! It was a longgg few weeks!
It's a toss-up between the elderly gentleman who approached me in Prospect Park to ask if I was a virgin (and then tell me what he'd like to do to my virgin genitalia - I was like 15) and the dude who bypassed me entirely to introduce himself to my mother. He introduced himself as her future son-in-law.
BRB, GAGGING.
"Is that so?" with the zoom in. Then the sloping "Whaaaaat?" made me watch this 4 times lol.
Weirdest yet scariest pick up line I've ever heard: "You better give me your number next time I see you or I 'll choke you out" After that he proceeded to laugh...but I didn't really know what was funny about that. I was scared as hell...had me looking at niggas sideways my first semester of college lol
The sound I made when you said "16 children" was not at all human. I'm still bewildered about the noise I just made, omfg
So great. So great. Not great that he felt you were obliged to have his 16 kids from a conversation on the beach but great you've made it here to tell us this story. (sans kids)
WOW.. I've been to Nigeria many many times and you are 100% right, the men out there are a different type of crazy bold..
I was out one night in Chicago and on the train home at 2 AM this older guy sits RIGHT NEXT TO ME on this empty ass train and proceeds to ask me if he reminded me of my father (????????), and if I wanted to go home with him. 😷😷😷😷😷😷😷
Wildest "pickup" line/story. this dude saw me reading a book and eating a mint he sits down goes "woooow u read books" (while in a bookstore mind u) then goes "the way u keep that mint on ya tounge *insert gross grunting*". I refuse to give him my number but gives him my fb to make him go away...dude posts(&tags me within secs) "big girls make me wanna buss all in it raw"......I hadn't even walked 15ft away from him yet....😒
Ewwwwwwww!
+princessdaedae09 Disgusting. You were too nice giving him anything. Disgusting ol' perv.
Girl... Smdh
Seriously we need to start yelling rape cause God knows these men pretty much do that in their heads. And then tell us as though its ok. That is HORRIBLE.
Like the fact that you would say that to someone you have sexual, emotional, or personal connection with is gross...like Sr. I literally don't know you. And tbh I gave dude my fb cause I didn't feel like getting cussed out that day, which is sad to say but we all know it happens
Weirdest pick up line for me was in Egypt. "Marry me! I will give you 3000 camels!"
😂😂😂
Yeah my cousins parents were offered some livestock for her... once. Butin Kansas City, MO
you didn't take him up on that??? 3000 camels? A guy in Angola only offered my dad a few goats!
keepitmovindotcom HAHAHAHA! Nope. But that WOULDA been a LOT of cash, lol!
You are lying!!???LOL!!! What???!!!! OMG!!!!! You should have asked him where are they? I want to see them.
I had a taxi driver once, after dropping me off from the grocery store, tell me that he would like it if he could come to my apartment and cook for him. Keep in mind that he was the worst taxi driver I have ever had: he was late; it was raining and chilly, and he watched me struggle to put in my bags because he didn't open up the trunk; took the second longest route to my place; and proceeded to pry into my personal life. My biggest regret is that I didn't take down the cab number and his name to complain to his supervisor.
Two that stick out for me - 1) grabbing lunch at the work cafeteria (it was catfish Friday during Lent and I was pumped) and "Big Country" (his name in my head henceforth after this incident) proceeds to tell me "I've seen you in here for a while now and I've always wondered what your voice sounded like".....um, ok; 2) returning from lunch, crossing the street, headphones on, minding my own business. Next thing I know, my left arm is being yoked up as if someone is kidnapping my arse! The Souf (aka South) Side of Chicago came out in me and I swung. Turns out it was a damn fool Traffic Enforcement dude who proceeds to tell me "I had to stop you and tell you how beautiful you were". MUTHA***KA if you don't let me go!!!
let's take a moment for that lip color....BOOOMB! So so pretty!👏👏👏💄
Grazia, I'll get you plenty of that Rouge à lèvres.
OMG girl I know how you feel. Once I was at the bus terminal waiting for my bus and a man approaced me. He told me he was Nigerian and he was in in the country to work and he was a nurse or something. He should me his ID as if I cared to prove to me he was real I guess. Mind you I was just minding my own business and I wan't trying to even make contact to him when he was talking but then he told me he's lonely and needs a queen then asked me what I can do for him...ummmm....Boy if you don't get the hell out of here I thought. It was so awkward I was praying for that bus to hurry and come and hoped he wasn't getting on the same bus. I could feel him undressing me with his eyes. Did he really think that was a great pick up line? I can't even LOL
Wow! My worst was when a man (who I am sure is old enough to be my father) was staring at me and I asked why. He said he was imagining a baby coming out of me 0_o. Why lawd?!
713dwhite 😵😵😵
you need to do an entire video only in your kenyan accent. please? pretty please?
I second that😝
I 3rd that
+isabelle happyfeet yes and her nigerian one too
That teeth sucking and Kenyan accent is everything . But the weirdest line I ever got is " my mom and wife will love you too. There is so much to do back home that they would be happy to have help with the children " ......say what ??!! I was at a baby naming ceremony and coming out of the BATHROOM and he approached me to say this ......I can't even.
I was in St Lucy's parish in Barbados and this man tried to negotiate with my mother trading me for two goats.
I was the supervisor and someone I was supervising on our graveyard shift told me I should have his baby out of nowhere. I lost it as professionally as possible. Let's just say homeboy ain't EVAH come at me with that bs ever again. But he was from Brooklyn, so, yeah it ain't just Nigeria.
I had to come back and watch this again. I could not believe it the first 5 times I watched.
yes!
From a street vendor in Turkey... "Lady, beautiful lady, I tink you drop something.... in my heart."
fam.....i feel u.......so much. like why uncle? PLEASE return to your wife and your jollof.
this was so good! You speak so eloquently and dramatically... the visual made it that much greater! awesome #storytime
omg you're face at 3:16 had me crying...like actually tears TT.TT
The weirdest line I have ever heard was once I was walking with a friend of mine and this guys strolls by and says. "D**n look at all that cake." but what confused me was when he followed that statement up with "I like ham".
My face was just O.O like bruh...maybe you need to go get a sandwich. I do believe there's a subway nearby. WTF did that even mean?
I'm in tears! I've never heard anything like that, and I'm thankful for it!
3:16-3:20 needs to be a gif. That expression works for so many terrible responses I've heard.
The one that immediately comes to mind is those people who tell me I'm articulate like they're surprised, like I'm not allowed to speak intelligibly because of what I look like. Or those people who tell me I'm pretty for a big girl.
I haven't had anyone go beyond "ay wassup" or "what's yo name" or "you tryna talk?", and if I did, I probably thoroughly suppressed the memory. I have been followed though, and when I respectfully decline their advances all of a sudden they hate me and have a million things to insult me for.
Those guys irk me.
Weirdest line for me: "Are you an adult or a little girl?" 😒
Wow.... That's so over the top.
I had an old man I met in a park tell me that I had something on my face, let him get it for me, and then have him try to french kiss me. That was awkward.
Ew😷. I would've died.
When I was 13 years old, I was on a cramped van/bus type thing(? maybe if you've been on one you know what I mean) in Lebanon when an old guy in the seat in front of me kept making weird eye contact throughout the whole trip. Near the end he dropped a piece of paper into my lap, written on it was his number and then a sum of money (don't remember how much). Right before he got off I handed it back to him, with an "I think you dropped something..."
Oh I've had a few proposition me to go half on a baby BUT like this one black boy was like "I don't even like black girls like that but you cute." He said this at my friend's baby's birthday. Like his biracial ass son was running in between our legs and he was like "I'm a self hating ass nigga and I want to share my internalized racism with you"
I completely forgot about the time I was walking home from school after completing an exam (I was 15 at the time and wearing school uniform ) this 40+ man asks where I live, and that he wants " to unite us to become one, so you should give me your number " I saw some friends across the road and I ran🏃I didn't even check to see if the road was clear to cross
Apparently that fool thought he could turn you into a baby factory so that he could have a school bus full of kids. Do you look like Ms. Frizzle?
Ok I'm late too. I'm dying!!! MS. FRIZZLE!!
😂😂
You are hilarious.
I love you.
Pure hilarity.
Everytime you hit that accent I JUST diiiieeeee 😭😭😭😭!!!!!!!
A guy asked me and my Puerto Rican friend if we were married. She lied yes I kept it real trill and said no and he said "oh I figured you weren't.....you know cause you're dark skinned." I was youngish and wasn't aware that this was a pick up line until I discussed it with some friends and my mom later. Apparently it was said to make me feel the need to impressed him? Still boggles the mind to this day! Like..... #bishwheeeeet
+Saphfire Cook damn, what a jerk!
I know this is an. Old video but.strangest line was on a date a had a guy tell me "been married 4 times, I think I have a fifth in me" crawled out the bathroom window.
I swear you are the only you tuber who can literally make me laugh out loud
Guy: Hey do you like harry potter?
Me: (gets excited) YEAH
Guy: well why don't you let me slytherin?
Me: hahahahaha (walks away)
Marissa Ward 😂😂😂😂
I almost choked on this ice cream, LOL! 'We'll keep in touch'... WHET???
A Nigerian guy asked my sister if she was in heat... 😐
😂😭😭
3:22 Is that so? HILARIOUS! cant get enough of your VEDA vids.
I'm simultaneously crying with laughter and despairing at men.
I've had so many weird male encounters but I think the one that had me most ??!?!?!?! was when I was 18, and this boy who couldn't have been older than 14 came up and slapped my arse so hard it stung and left a red mark and said "alright hottie". like, 1) I'm clearly way too old for you? what are you thinking?? and 2) why do you think doing it so hard to cause me actual pain is going to endear me to you in anyway.
+Izzy Inkpen I would've slapped him hard
The comments section is both hilarious and scary af
one time i got told "if you were poop i would never flush you down the toilet"
this is funny, scary, and creepy at the same time. I had a guy trying to hit on me outside a restaurant, who in the middle of his "game", paused to tell a man nearby that if he looked at him like that again he was going to have to BEND. HIM. OVER. it was in that moment I gave up all hope. all of it. -_-
tears!!!
OMG! Hilarious. What is wrong with these guys?
+Melina B. girl no. the guy behind him was like "careful I might like it." I was like why am I here. Jesus take the wheel!
+LynWithanE 😭
+LynWithanE ohhhhh my God girl. what.
I was in Walmart guy walks up to me and asked me who did I belong to... My answer: Jesus... His response: Oh yeah me too but I'm asking if you have a man.... really like I'm property now! Blank stare walk off
My worst was "You look like a fine @$$ donkey. Can I get a ride?" I was beyond disgusted
This video had me ROLLING!! your lipstick is on point, too.
I also had a Nigerian man tell me to drop out of school and be a wife in our first conversation. what's going on in West Africa?
A crusty @$$ Negro once had the nerve to say to me "let me get those 10 digits, so I can give you these 10 inches". I have never power walked across a parking lot to get to my car as I did that day!! #Eeeewww!
Gia Scott-Heron you should have said is that all you got and walked away 😂😂👌
Omg when I was in high school I remember being on the computer in the public library and this guy came over and sat next to me and just wouldn't leave. I was shy back then so I just answered his questions politely and then after a while he stated that we were together... in a relationship.... As soon as he got up to use the bathroom, I was out! I really can't stand the be cat called even today. Many guys just don't take no for an answer or they get offended and bad mouth you on the street. I am also gay and one time I just openly told a guy that I was gay and wasn't interested and he followed me down the street. Not fun! I've realized that you have to be assertive sometimes and keep it moving.
Evelyn, let me just say that you are awesome! Like, your videos just give me life! The expressions, OMDUDE! Girl, i'm crying!!!
when I visited New York for the first time, a man in Times Square asked me if he could get me pregnant. I said no and he actually asked why. 😐
This video made me laugh so damn hard I cried real tears. I love when VEDA when it comes to your videos!
The way you say "bewildered" with that Kenyan accent 😭
Weirdest pick up line for me . "you have really nice child bearing hips". I was 16 at the time 😭
I'm surprised you didn't get hit with that "ah...you are so tantalizing" typical African pick up line starter kit😂
looooool!!!
+Moniquoi6 lmao I swear I hear this everyday 😒😂 smh
+S Cole I'm still laughing at that one!!!! fantastic!
+Moniquoi6 lmao 🙌
I can't think of any right now, but girl! I'm gonna have to make a gif of you stepping away, walking off screen, and coming back with that confused/disgusted look on your face. lol
When I was at a restaurant waiting to pick up my food, this old white guy who looked like Santa Claus came and stood next to me. We had a pretty normal conversation at first....then his old ass asked me "So, are you down with the swirl?" It totally caught me off guard, but I just said no (mind you, I have no problem with interracial relations). I think I pissed him off because he walked off, but as he was walking off he said, "Yes you do, I don't know why you are playing around" and had the nerve to have an attitude.
My gawd😂😂😂
LOL!!
I'm crying laughing at this pick line😂😂😂 I'm literally in tears😂
+mrsrhicks06 all I could do was shake my head.
Haha Evelyn I feel you, girl.
Just got back from Ghana. Was chilling at the beach and decided to go in the water. When I'm about waist deep this dude who's been loitering around off to my right saunters into view and we do that unfortunate eye catch thing. He said hi and I made the fatal mistake of opening my mouth and saying hi back to which he responded "Ohhh Black American!! *gross noise* You *more gross noise* are *gross* beautiful." Not so bad, right? Standard. But mind you I'm waist deep in water with this random creep feelin a bit more vulnerable than the usual. So...I threw him my ugliest face and away I swam to safety. 😩
There is an actual tear streaming down my cheek from laughing so hard at this video. I'm dying!
"Huhn!!! Is that so???" 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂 I'm done!!
In philly while waiting in line for my cheesesteak the line cook asked me where my silver hat was. I looked behind me because I had no idea what he was talking about. I said, "excuse me?" And he repeated his question about this silver hat. I was just concerned about my cheesesteak. Then he laughed and said girl you look like a Hershey's kiss. I just smiled with no teeth until he handed over my food that he was holding hostage. Then I walked away.
Bang out 4 sets of quads. Problem solved 😂😂😩😩😩😩😩
I really HAVE to stop watching you at work tho. Bc FIRED 😂
+KeeshCurls Right! My coworkers just asked me what was so funny! LMAO!!!
I cannot with you! You are too hilarious!
I love it! "Pewm, Pewm, Pewm!" The Kenyan baby pistol???? LOL You are a riot. Also, before I found your channel, I thought I was the only one who said anything like "the innanets", which is what I calls it. I even looked it up on The Google hahaha. I don't ever want you to stop making videos, I think I'd wilt or something if you did.
I hope ya'll sitting down for this one...
Before going away for school I used to go to Yoga everyday. Because of the way I would take to go home, I had to use a certain train platform.
As Im walking down the train platform, I see one guy's eyes start to follow me. Eventually he started to walk towards me as well. I kid you not, his pickup line was "Excuse me miss, do I have any spit on the back of my neck?"
What?
He goes on to tell me abt some arguement he got on the train with a couple because he was hitting on the guy's girl, so the guy spit on him. Then he says "But I know that wouldnt happen to you, right? Cuz you'll fuck a bitch up, wont let no n**ga do you like that"
WHAT?
This whole time he's talking to me, Im looking around, checking my surroundings, holding onto my purse strap, and even making sure Im a safe distance from the platform edge so he cant push me if he wanted to. Eventually I tell him Im tired and Im not interested. He says "I was just tryna make conversation"
Fuck outta here with your conversation!!! I look like Im 18, and you basically had this whole conversation by ya damn self!!! :
+LotusBookWorm lol, that dude really sounds like a creep. I would've made a run for it if I had a chance
Omg laughing so hard watching this video. So binge watching you for that past few hours.
Loooooooooooool! Watched 4 videos from the Lemonade clip. So done! You're too funny! Love the videos. Just subbed
"You remind me of my sister."
Um. Ewwww.
Lol i can relate to this! Ahah, when I was traveling across Benin, West Africa guys kept coming up to me because they assumed I was a foreigner. I kept it cordial, blatantly ignored bummies ( bums) and chatted w/ those of them who were respectful.
As Nigerians say, I NO FIT SHOUT!!!! lml that's so funny
I can't top your story, nope!! 😂😂😂😂
Your one of the few youtubers that can actually make me laugh out loud!
never saw your videos before! this was hilarious... I died!!!! you have just become my spirit animal/person!!!!
Your entire channel gives my life.
Your realness is refreshing!
"Give me your number or I'm going to piss myself!"
Funnily enough he was also a Nigerian dude!
I used to work at an amusement park when I was 14-15 years old and I'd get hit own from preteens to fully grown men and women. A train went around the park and I had to wave at passengers aboard and frequently people would seek me out from the train. I was also told (being a person with naturally light eyes and very dark brown hair) that so and so would have proposed to me if I had red hair instead. Was that supposed to work?