Do Masc Lesbians Struggle With Toxic Masculinity More Than Straight Men? Chosen Family Podcast
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- Опубліковано 8 вер 2024
- Ashley, Alayna, and Mak discuss why Mak is banned from driving in the state of Georgia, voice notes vs. text messages, the power dynamics at play within Gen Z texting, and address why masc lesbians struggle with toxic masculinity.
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I'M SO STOKED THIS IS FINALLY OUT FOR YOU ALL!!! 🌈😍🎉
THANK YOUUUU
WE'RE STOKED!!!
yaaaaaaaaaaaaSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Omg it's FIRE!!! 🔥 🔥 🔥
I’m so happy you three all gave me enough courage to come out
I love how Alayna went made Ashley go deeper. I love deep, real, vulnerable conversations. To me, that's what matters. Also, Mak explaining "being safe from male gaze" and the experience from the relationship. This podcast is so important!
Agreed!
Totally!
Absolutely, the best parts are when a question makes them tap into something unexpected but real and raw.
This
What she said
Alayna accidentally attracting Ashley is my favorite thing to watch 😂
OMG same.
That was such a romance novel moment that I actually thought I'd misinterpreted it at first haha I thought I'd been reading too much smut lately. Then I came to the comments and felt validated.
@@marlibum sameeeeeee lmfao wtf
TIME STAMPPP
I believe is 22:00
@22:00 When Ashley had gay panic cuz Alayna whispered her instructions back, my queer energy was revitalized. 💛 I’m fucking elated this podcast exists. Alayna played an amazing mediator and juxtaposition to Mak and Ashley’s experiences. Thank you deeply ;)
This!
this was so fucking funny I loved it
@@sonyamohe the way she didn’t even explain it and just smoothly segued to Mak 😂😂😂
That was such a romance novel moment that I actually thought I'd misinterpreted it at first haha I thought I'd been reading too much smut lately. Then I came to the comments and felt validated.
As a baby gay that definitely doesn’t have a gay family this is so comforting and I love y’all😭
actually Mac talking about representing masculine as a way to protect yourself is really relatable. Even not from men, I just protect my small inner world like that, plus toxic masculinity justifies not showing too much emotion and I know it’s no good but it does feel safer
It is fine. If you are in contact with a real part of you, that feels natural. I would say don't rationalize it so much. Just because people in our society labeled a real part of you as toxic, it doesn't mean you need a rational defense to explain why you are yourself.
When Ashley started talking about her gender expression it was really impactful, and I love that Alayna brought up the fact that you can be nonbinary without using they/them, people can be just as valid in using she/her as a nonbinary person as any other pronouns, because pronouns don't equal gender. Thank you for discussing this! (from a nonbinary person)
Edit: Commented before finishing the segment, this was an info dump, leaving comment because it can help educate people 😄
This.
this comment just cracked my skull in half, thank you.
I agree you can be non-binary using any pronouns whatsover, I do think we need to be careful and respectful of the fact Ashley's uncomfortable with the label.
Also: gender expession does not equal gender identity.
I know your comment wasn't aiming to invalidate Ashley, I'm glad you found the discussion impactful and validating to you.
@@Xeyal1001 oh agreed for sure, and yeah it wasn’t 😅 I just got a bit ahead of myself and info dumped a little bit but you’re 100% right
I don’t see the point tho. Like if u go by she/they or he/they then yea it makes sense but if u go by she/her your a girl and if u go by he/him your a boy. Wdym pronouns don’t equal gender. Your pronouns are what u gender identify as/don’t identity as. It seems so unnecessary to call yourself an enby when u go by he/him or she/her. Like what’s the point? Just seems like your invalidating enby people at this point (just seems like your calling yourself enby for no reason). Y’all are making this way more complicated then what it needs to be honestly. If someone says they go by she/her or he/him then enby is gonna be the farthest thing from my mind.
Now I haven’t seen this video but with how big of a headache this has given me I’m not going to. Theirs literally nothing that u can say that changes that this just feels wrong. So please don’t try.
Okay I’m crying right now with Ashley’s description of her dysphoria. I’m so the same and I’ve never heard anyone describe it like this before. I’m definitely a woman but there is part of my gender identity or expression or something that I find difficulty with. Thank you for a wonderfully heartfelt and vulnerable discussion Ashley. And for the way Alayna gentle encouraged Ashley to not minimise how she feels and to explore it more. The way you all support and encourage each other is beautiful and inspiring 💙
EXACTLY
same
Same! I mean I know I already have body dysmorphia that has to do with my weight mostly but I've never been able to find a way or seen a way that made sense in the way Ashley put it
THIS GENDER TALK THO
MY GOD
I NEEDED THIS
SAMEEE
same
Sameeee
Alayna is 100% the therapist friend in the group and it’s so wholesome to see in action 😊
my jaw was dropped the entire time when ashley was explaining her problems with her gender expression.. she put my exact thoughts into words!! this is the first time ive seen someone EXACTLY like me, and its crazy how we both feel yucky towards too much masculinity/femininity and need that perfect balance between the two that makes us feel like US
Uh yeah. Just because I am super comfortable wearing a more masculine wardrobe doesn't mean that I am not 100% me - a female.
YES i feel this in my soul so much i don't know how to explain it
Hot damn. As a gay man I've never really thought about things from the other side of the aisle, and this really got me thinking about the issues that you folks face in modern society. I deeply appreciated the enlightenment. Wonderful podcast. Happily going to the next episode now!
Same here. I'm hearing so many similarities with my own experiences. I came out in my 30s and didn't have a chosen gay family to me navigate.
Whoa as a queer women, please share. Don't notice anything really
Ok. As a similarity to myself: coming out I started exploring my fem side. Though I still express myself as (I hate this term but) "straight-acting." When I'm having sex with my top boyfriend I express my fem side with JOY as if I'm the sexiest beast on the planet. I'm a total power bottom that controls every bit of my partners pleasure. I may be receiving, but I'm giving as well.
my new favorite podcast!! i'm not in lgbt friendly country and there's no queer events or anything like that in here, so listening to lesbian woman for 40 minutes warms my heart
The best part of Chosen Family is seeing Ashley squirm when she gets turned on by Alayna just being her feminine nurturing compassionate self - and Alayna doesn’t get it but Mak does because she gets Ashley - since they’re both mascs.
Like, in this episode, Ashley had to use a lot of strength to not fall for Alayna when she used her whispering voice and used terms of endearment.
Oh man I love the conversation about masc lesbians and toxic masculinity. I really really understand what Ashley is saying about needing to find a certain mix of femininity and masculinity in order to feel more comfortable. I feel so good in my identity as a woman but not as the typical gender expression of feminine OR too masc. I like she/her and they/them makes me feel uncomfortable. I’ve never heard anyone else talk about gender expression in a way that is as close to me before! Thank you so much for that discussion!
I also appreciate the way *Alison Bechdel, ( I mistakenly got the spelling and stuff wrong the first time,) explained as something like expanding the definition of women during an interview on "Fresh Air" with Terry Gross. Ashley is aptly acknowledging the social gender expectations that we face currently.
What is wonderful about gender expressions is that each person has a collage of influences. The variety makes things interesting, just like biological sex, it's not just a simple m/f, because intersex people are also a natural part of our world. Trans, non-binary and/or intersex, and cis people can create acceptance of these larger possibilities together.
Another thing may or may not resonate: the song, " Ring of Keys" from *Alison Bechdel's autobiographical musical, " Fun Home", animated on the animatic channel. ( Basically when people represent different variations, the ripple effect might help others, too.)
@@lizhyink5636 O 100% I agree, I mean it would be rudimentary to think that there are simple m/f... I mean even among cis people the spectrum is highly visible, Undoubtedly. The fear exists because of societal pressure and self sabotage... I think we all need to work on ourselves for that to overcome.
@@hustler212^ Well said : )
Obsessed with them committing to the family dynamic
I can totally relate to Alayna when she says "can someone translate 93 miles in km" lol
This is great!! I love the 3 of you ❤
150 kmh!!!
150 in a 110 zone. That is allegedly fast.
Me who did 110kmh in a 60zone... at 4am in the morning cause who in the right mind would be up at that time.. viben while having 4am by girl in red in the background...
the way Alayna explained her side of dressing up diff from what she's comfortable with made me realize so many things. I fully went in shock and I don't know if I'll recover anytime soon. also her tenderness with Ash's vulnerability is so precious. thank u all for this
As a cis straight woman I did NOT expect to find out I'm a top by listening to three lesbians talking about voice notes. You guys are amazing. That conversation about gender identity and the way Ashley and Mak opened up was incredibly informative and helpful. This whole spiel of orientation, identity, expressing yourself in society and feeling safe and comfortable in the way you're presenting is an incredibly complex matter, and seeing honest discussion about it is a great experience and very valuable to - I am certain - people of all ages and backgrounds.
The death hotel picture behind ashley cracked me up. Its so refreshing hearing you talk about gender dysforia inside the gender your comfortable in and prosenting as. Thats a sub category of feeling good as oneself that doesn't get talked about so thank you!
totally relate and many don't realize cis people engage in gender affirmative practices too!
Right?! Super relatable for me as a masc presenting woman. It's taken me so long to realize it's okay to identify as a woman when presenting masc (or the other way around, for that matter), it's great to see conversation happen about it
No joke, while I was listening to this episode, a rainbow was cast in through my window into my room. Your podcast is blessed by the gay gods. Loved hearing all 3 of your perspectives. Can't wait to hear more.
Ashley gay panicking over Alayna is everything I never knew I needed 😂 Thanks so much for this, girls, really making my dreams come true here 🥺🥺😘
I'm such a femme woman but still can relate to aspects of what Ashley is talking about. Amazing to hear that put into words!
Me too!!
"I love a certain mix of masculinity and femininity, and when I'm not hitting that I feel yucky" Ash just perfectly describing my gender feelings!!!
As a transmasc person, I wanna say that it's so hard to feel comfortable in your masculinity when femininity's inherent in your body. I definitely overcompensated at times but ultimately I always felt like I could never take the femininity off. It's not that I don't like femininity, it's the fact that I couldn't escape it no matter what I did without medically transitioning. I just never felt like myself.
I also wanna say that you know yourself best. As a gen z, I find it kinda messed up when people make those jokes like "if you were gen z you'd be nonbinary" whether it be to you or anyone else. There's a difference between kindly saying "hey this is a thing, it might be worth looking into if you haven't already" vs "I know you better than you know yourself." I get that it's supposed to be a joke, but at the same time I just don't find it funny. People know themselves best and they will find their way to their own identity at some point or another. I watched it happen with Rachel Ballinger where people made comments for years that she was gay and when she finally came to that conclusion on her own everyone was like "I knew it" which is kinda gross. When someone tells you who they are, believe them. If that identity changes, so be it. Don't just go around telling people who you think they are. You don't know who somebody is until they tell you.
I could probably go on forever but I'm just gonna leave it at that.
Man your explanation of not being able to escape femininity without medically transitioning resonate with me so much! and actually gives me the words iv been looking for to explain to myself why transitioning is so important for me. I’m transmasc aswell but haven’t done any kind of medical transition. I really want to but the fear of my bio family pulling away because of it makes me hesitate and think about just trying settle for how I was born. Even though I know that mentally and physically I won’t last if I continue to live and feel as I always have. I do really love some feminine parts of my personality and mannerism, and most of the time appreciate being “raised female” because I have much easier access to my emotions and compassion because of it compared to my brothers who were “raised male”. But in society and in myself I rarely feel like I can honour my femininity because my outward appearance makes it feel like it’s all that’s showing. Or any time I show emotion or act with compassion people see me as female and I feel too female. Instead of just feeling simply emotional or compassionate without anything attached. The more I’m seen and gendered masculine the more comfortable iv been allowing my feminine side to show through in my personality.
Thank you for giving me the words iv been struggling to put together 🧡
@@fritzginger15 I relate a lot to what you said about enjoying some aspects of femininity and appreciating being raised female. I feel the same way. I actually have a lot of feminine characteristics in my personality and how I like to express myself, but I had to push a lot of it away pre-transition. I'm grateful that I don't have to unlearn twenty years of experience in order to be sensitive and emotional.
It's really scary to look at medically transitioning at first. I waited a long time before I finally decided to pursue it. What you said about not being able to last if you continue living this way is relatable as well. I didn't realize it at the time, but my gender dysphoria was tied to so many of my issues. Going on testosterone changed my life so drastically and it's the best decision I could have made for myself.
As hard as it may be, the people who love you will come around eventually. But there has to be a you in this world for them to love. You know who you are. You know what you need. And I hope some day soon it feels a little easier to achieve. It gets easier 💙
150km/h in a 120km/h zone? As a bi who can't drive (27 and still working on my drivers licence - and I first tried for it in 2017) I'm legit terrified
Yes, oh my goodness, I think if they translated the speed to Alayna she would have freaked on Mak : P
alayna is so so good with words and i love listening to how well she expresses her thoughts and explains really nuanced topics
The mascing it up to feel safe from the male gaze realllllly hits deep. And I do feel like it has to be sooooo dramatic in that direction to actually feel safe.
Ashley, I really respect your vulnerability in talking about your masculinity/femininity. Alayna does such a good job at contributing to that conversation with care and tact. And Mak is such a good validating buffer! Loved every bit of this episode so much! The thoughtful and candid conversations as well as the silly banter. Keep it up guys! 😂😍🙌🙌
For most of my life I've had my hair short from a pixie cut, to a short bob. I'm 24 and just letting my hair grow out until I have a mental break down some time and need a change. And I've found that with long hair, I've wanted to dress a little more masculine, where when I had short hair I was very comfortable in more feminine clothes. I think I like to have some sort of "contrast" in my gender expression. I get a little uncomfy when I'm too fem or too masc
I like contrast too! I've realized it's not from a place of insecurity, it's just my genuine aesthetic to do like, masc clothes and glam makeup or something more flowy and bare faced hahaha
I feel like people are so inclined to decipher something as a negative, or rooted in toxicity but nope! Style is just evolving 🤷🏾♂️
I get this. I'm all about contrast in my style, too. One of my favorite things is shopping in the "men's" section for button-downs with clean lines, classically tailored shapes, and beautiful patterns and vibrant colors. "Metro-sexual" masc is my comfy place. I do identify as enby, but also feel kinship ties to the "woman" community, so I say politically speaking, I identify as a "woman," and individually/personally I identify as none-gendered.
As a straight girl with lesbian friends I love learning from y’all so I can support them 🥰
Millennial person here. Ashley, I can so relate. You don't have to be non binary if you don't want to. Your experience is so valid. Ugh I love this podcast already.
I really appreciate alayna diving deep! Surface level podcasts are so boring & im glad she kept challenging for deeper thought processes, critical thinking, reflecting, & conversation.
This podcast is litterally an answer to my prayers! Love the balance between generations, humor and deep and very necessary conversations. I needed this soooo bad rn. Thank you!!!
THISSSS
Yeeees! It's the balance between generations and humanity for me too!
This is literally all my hopes and dreams have been for over a year, thank you for blessing the world with this family
This hits the SPOT. These conversations are so hard to find outside of close and specific circles of friends and family. I love you all, and I hope to see/hear more soon.
Maks description of wanting to over masc to feel safe is so on point. I lived in that space for years but was always so offended when misgendered as a guy. Its so tricky
I'm from Portugal, and besides my girlfriend I don't know anyone who is also gay so we feel kinda lonely. The three of you make my day through your podcast! So many deep topics, I absolutely love it!! ❤️
I can’t explain the comfort and joy this brought me. So grateful for you all and this vulnerable conversation. I’m so looking forward to future episodes.
commenting again to join the conversation.
for me, i spent sooo long trying to be super masculine and never feeling like i was masculine enough and just feeling really crappy about it because i could never be what i thought i needed to be in order to be gay. now, i dress more masculine but wear makeup and allow myself to express myself in a more feminine way too. and i’m much happier like that.
ashley talking about her dysphoria resonated with me so extremely that i started crying 😭 it's so hard to explain and understand that yucky, icky feeling and she put it in words that really made me feel seen. and thank you alayna for helping to dive deeper into that and differentiate dysphoria, that's very serious, and just not liking your outfit. 💕💕💕
The way Ash described her gender expression, it sounds as if she took the words out of my mouth! Thank you for opening up and being so vulnerable. I definitely related. I'm definitely a woman, but I've never been 100% comfortable presenting fully fem or fully masc
they're such beautiful ppl, inside and out. I'm deeply grateful this exists
I never get tired of Ashley.She's the best.😍🏳️🌈🫶🏻
so genuinely excited to have a piece of content from 3 of my favorite queer content creators from now on!! can’t wait for what’s to come
Ashley literally put into words what I feel about my gender expression. In my head I want to look butch but in reality I don't, so I never feel like myself when I look too feminine
Rooting for more gender talking 👏👏 As an ace-bi nb person, I couldn't relate more to Mak's experience towards gender expression and male gaze. For the longest time I tried to avoid men's attention through masc presentation. Now, doing it for myself and trying to reach that thin line between dysphoria/euphoria that you've been talking about. Thanks for an amazing first episode!
I love that you’re all such big fans of eachother. This is how friendships/chosen family should always be!!
35:10 Mak may have taken the backseat at a few parts, but this statement ripped through me, because it is literally verbatim one of my biggest concerns. I really like the idea of presenting in a more middle ground, but I've recently fallen into presenting hypermasculine lately because I feel like it's the easiest way to save myself from that kind of attention because of the anxiety it has brought me in the past. Honestly, being a woman truly makes you feel like you can't escape the male gaze no matter where you go.
As someone with a super misogynistic father, my low self-worth and internalized misogyny are so fucking stubborn that I feel like I immediately shrink on myself any time I'm approached by a man, and it's like the more masc I present, the safer I feel, because I have such a difficult time just blatantly rejecting; so I feel like I can maneuver around without needing to possibly face confrontation, but what drives me fucking insane is the realization that though I'm a lesbian who's excited at the prospect of finally getting free of the patriarchal bullshit, I'm still allowing the male gaze to affect the way I present myself, only out of fear.
It's fucking frustrating. Any time I present femme at all, I literally do everything to avoid eye contact with men, because that is seen by many as an invitation, and it's so fucking frustrating that just walking around as a woman that presents feminine feels like having a target.
I am so genuinely grateful for this gender discussion because gender identity and expression are things I'm figuring out for myself right now. I actually feel a lot like Ashley, I think, and I just don't hear that particular discussion happening in many millenial/gen z queer spaces right now. So a big thanks to both Ashley and Alayna for being vulnerable and delving deeper!
The talk about Ashley and her gender/femininity/masculinity was so important to me because I feel the same exact way as Ashley and it was so important and special to hear them talk about that because I have never had representation like that
Love how Ashley is talking about how she feels she has to walk the line between masculine/feminine. I know where she is coming from. I have the same issue. Walk a fine line between masc/femme as we.
I don't listen to podcasts that much, but I've been following Alayna for quite some time now and I really loved this episode. I myself am from the Netherlands and came out around 2 years ago. I still haven't come out to most of my family and listening to videos like this really help me to see things in a different perspective. It's really cool that you three are doing this and I'm excited to follow you on this journey! 😀 ps: if you are the chosen family, are the fans than called the chosen children? And maybe future guests (who knows) the chosen one's 🤔
I realized I'm a lesbian when I was 17 (8 years ago almost 9) and I think many of the things that I've done and thought would've had a quicker process by listening a podcast like this one. This year I started doing therapy and it has been life changing, vulnerably is a huge subject and this section about masculinity was amazing. Thank you, guys for doing this!
I love the contrast of comedy against really serious topics. Amazing dynamic between you all!
5 minutes in and I am dying! I am a social worker and in a cruel irony I was mugged by a patient yesterday in an attempted carjacking: split my head open and I was home feeling miserable.
Y'all brightened my day, thank you! 😊
Hope you feel better
LMAO WHAT THE HECK that's like from a sitcom.
I'm so glad you're healing and able to laugh it off. I hope nothing like that ever happens again, and if it does? I hope you aren't as scared since you're a hardened veteran now 🖖🏾
@@honorinewendyamilboudo7229 Thank you! I'm okay ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
@@nailinthefashion I went back to work today. I'm not going to let it bring me down 🌈✨️
I hope you heal quickly at all levels.
Ashley put into words exactly how I feel about my own gender, and I've never really thought about it in that way before; thank you for including and leaving it in! I would love to hear more deep conversations like this in the future on the podcast should it feel comfortable and natural to talk about!
i loved mak talking ab the toxic masculinity like i never thought about it that way but it was soooo relatable it made me feel so valid and it genuinely felt like i was part of a chosen family
I found Ashley a few weeks ago and as a Teenager she is the first person I can totally relate to. This gender thing just freaks me out. You three are absolutely my favourite combo and I'm so grateful for this podcast!
I hate audio messages because I never know what I’m going to get from them lol. Its a little hard to explain. Even if a voice note and an audio note say the exact same thing, with a text you can kind of see the flow of things gradually. With voice memos you have no idea if it’s going to become a slow descent into sadness. Also I often have customers who are strangers leave them and I just have no warning for what’s going to be in them. If it’s a text, those warning words kinda pop out at you and you’re forewarned. Voice message nuh-uh.
I’m sorry but when Alayna said “chart-topping podcast” I can’t believe Ash didn’t say “charts aren’t the only thing I’m topping…”😭😂
It's so nice to hear other people and especially cis people talk about dysphoria and how uncomfortable it can be to explore certain sides of yourself. I'm non binary and I like dressing more feminine, but it took me a long time to come to terms with that. Mostly because I didn't feel "trans enough" to actually then be non binary.
It's so great to just see how fluid that makes gender identity. There are people looking exactly like me, who don't identify the same as me. There are people less feminine, who don't identify the same as me. And there are definitely as feminine or more feminine people than me out there who do identify the same as me.
Clothes and outward expression can make such an impact, but they will never decide who you are.
THIS IS SUCH A GOOD PODCAST!!! After being a fan of WHGS, Mak and Alayna for quite a long time, this really is a dream come true hahah. The chemistry you three have is so entertaining and fun to watch, the way your conversation is so open and without judgement is something I aspire and the way all three of you (and this episode especially you Ashley, thank you for that
Ashley the vulnerability in this episode is really really appreciated. Its a tough topic since it really is about identity but it might help a lot of people who are feeling the same
I was trying to figure out what I am just hrs ago because it's not obvious to me (masc, femm, stem, non binary?) And then Ashly put it so perfectly that I am so happy I ran into this before I could even let it bother me! Now that's Frikken magic!
Mack and the male gaze concept really rung true for me and Alaina wanting to break it all down further was awesome! I watch all 3 separate channels, but now this one is already my favorite!!!
I totally understand Ashley. I don't like the assumption that all masc lesbians are non-binary. Taking someone's gender title away from them, and how to express themselves, is wrong, no matter what the label is.
I got some feels & had little “oh my god I’m not alone” tears twice in this video! Ashley thank you for being vulnerable, everything you said about expression made me feel seen. Love this, what a cool combination of humans. Can’t wait for more.
I just love that we have a podcast that is hilarious but also makes you think about your experiences as a queer person. It’s totally awesome so thanks Ashley, Alayna, and Mac for creating this for all of us to enjoy
saw ashley's stuff and was almost immediately directed here. brilliant chemistry, all of you. and i really appreciate that even as a gay man this has really helped me learn about things like gender expression and just normalise those sorts of discussions within my own mind! thanks guys!!!❤❤
Even if you dind´t say "mom, dad, son" it gives that energy SOOOO MUCH hahaha.
Happy to see you work together, and probably help me figured out who the f i am🤣.
Anyway, hope you have a great day ❤
Best trio to form a podcast ever! So excited ever since I heard it in Alayna’s patreon!!!
Finally the FIRST account I've ever followed where I actually "click that bell" !
I loved the deep dive into toxic masculinity and gender, how gender expression and self-discovery can lead to a point of exaggeration.... All really good, wholesome family content!
I think it's incredibly interesting to hear you guys talk about your gender and the way you experience dysphoria because I think that we only talk about gender dysphoria when we talk about trans people. as ashley said dyphoria is when your gender feels wrong and anyone who experiences gender can feel that way. it doesn't automatically mean that you're trans and, while I'm positive that people mean no harm by it, it can still be incredibly demeaning to have your gender dismissed if that makes sense (English isn't my first language so pls bare with me lol).
all this is to say that I feel like everyone should talk about their experience with gender more because it is so incredibly unique to every single person because at the end of the day it is deeply connected to the person we are and how we interact with the world. thank u for coming to my ted talk, this has been a random enby currently falling down the lesbian podcast rabbit hole and enjoying every part of it
i kinda felt really connected to ashleys gender perception for a minute but i *do* identify as non-binary and i like they/them pronouns (in english - my mothertongue doesnt have good non-binary pronouns so im also completely fine with she) and tbh i havent yet reached a point where i felt too masc... but seeing those different perspectives is so interesting and it validates my perception of my own gender so much more to know that everyone thinks a bit differently about their gender and presentation
liked, sub, bell absolutely smashed, laughed, cried, bottomed, topped, crops watered, plants thriving, family: chosen
I very much relate to Ashley’s association with gender identity and self expression
I never taught I would actually give 40 minutes of my time listening to a podcast.
All of these are conversations that happen in my head every day, and conversations that I wish would happen more with people around me. 🤘
You don’t know how happy I am to see content with the 3 of you guys together. I’ve been a huge fan of y’all ever since I came out and wanted to further explore my queerness. I love the wholesome mix of comedy and deep dives into serious topics, it’s educational yet still entertaining. I definitely feel like the little baby daughter listening to my family discuss life stuff at the dinner table. Thank you guys for what you do and I wish all the success for y’all for this podcast ❤❤
I understand you, Ashley. I myself am trans, but even I have had to take a lot of looking into myself to come to terms with my balance of femininity and masculinity and not succumbing to the expectations that are set for someone after coming out. Especially as a minor in a homophobic home, I can not transition and so I have had to learn that nobody deserves to shape you. Especially you. You are beautifully you and not a single soul deserves to tell you who or what you are or should be.
OMG this was so good. I loved your conversation about masculinity. As queer women/people, we sometimes devalue femininity as if it was something less than. I am glad that you are creating a space to talk about such important and sensitive topics like that. It's nice to watch thirst traps and funny tiktoks, but sometimes we need wholesome conversations like that. Ashley, please stop worrying about oversharing. It's never too much (except for the poop stuff). Love wise Alayna and hot Mak as well. We're here for you!
93 mi/hour = 149.669 km/hour. I really enjoyed hearing Ashley's perspective on gender and presentation!
I really loved the conversation around gender and gender expression! I appreciate your being vulnerable ❤️
I would legitimately jump up and down if Ash dm'd me too, even if it was just to talk. She's literally paving the way for young gays to be more than they assume they can be. Can't ask for more.
So pumped about this new pod!! Three of my favorite queers ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
I hate voice memos because if there are people around, I don't want everyone to hear part of my conversation. So I have to wait to listen to it or find headphones and if I wait I forget to actually listen to it.
Excited to see the 3 favs together~ let's go! ❤️
I feel like tons of queer people struggle with toxic masculinity. I (a trans man) definitely have struggled with that. I just recently let myself paint my nails for the first time in a while. A lot of my trans friends have the same overcompensation problems because they just wanna be accepted with the straight cis people. Love you guys 🥰
YES! Such a GREAT conversation! ♥ The vulnerability is what I love about an Ashley Gavin Podcast! Also as a non-binary person exploring gender, I greatly appreciate people of all genders talking about their experiences, especially with presentation, as it's where I often struggle. Thank you!!! This is wonderful! (also I want Pot Pie now)
So... Thought... Listen me out... As a gay teenage boy watching you guys talk, it's fulfilling a part in me which needed gay parents... All in all, IT'S THE FAMILY I WISH I HAD...
WOOO, I have been waiting for this for a long time! I love it! And the gender chat stemming from the toxic masculinity Q was so welcome and fascinating. I am having many similar feels. Thanks for the juicy relatable queer content as always, but all together!
( This is just me ranting) That conversation about gender really made me remember when my sister(a lesbian) told me that people call her by he/him pronouns and call her a guy so often that it frustrates her because she’s masc and people just don’t see her as a woman anymore just because of how she dresses. And I feel gender dysforia when everyone around me compares me to her saying “you’re so much alike”, “you’re both such tomboys”, because I’m a trans man and people (for some reason) like to associate us with being masculine lesbians. Like, we are two separate people and we are in two VERY separate categories, stop comparing us to each other. She’s a woman that like women, I’m a man that like women. We are very obviously not the same
Ashley I know EXACTLY what you mean, I've been feeling like that since I can remember.
Btw you're great guys, I'm so happy about this ❤️
The comment on how society views gender and how that affects some people's dysphoria hits me. We've been talking about how if society wasn't so strict at defining fem v masc and keeping them apart, that many of us wouldn't ever experience any doubt or dysphoria. I identify with Ashley on this. I am not fem by any stretch and often feel weird in very girly clothes & makeup. But I also very much feel like a women, there's no part of me that feels gender-neutral, fluid or non-binary. My goal is to walk that same line, blending "masc" and "fem" elements of clothing makes me feel correct, somehow.
Gay people in general have to deal with so much more pressure around masculinity and femininity since there's absolutely no true North blueprint for any of us.
Who the frick frack has paved the way as a fem male dom top? Where are my alpha male podcast equivalents? Why did it take so long to get whgs and this?! It would have made me so much more successful as child if I had heard a bunch of lesbians talk about tribbing, since I would have been much more comfortable with myself.
I'm so scared being a pioneer. My existence shouldn't be so radical. Thanks for making a safe space for us to discuss and connect 👼🏾💐🥂
❤❤❤ well said. Also justin Tranter is maybe someone to check out!
@@ashgavs thanks, I only know about him in passing 👍🏾
I just found y’all and I can’t wait to watch every episode in order to catch up to where you are right now!!! I love it already
I really resonated with the gender stuff from Ashley and Mak’s POV. Especially the feeling of having to present hyper masc meaning you’re safe from men. These are really important conversations. Thank you all for this
I absolutely appreciate the side convo about gender expression. I’m grappling with my own gender in my mid 30s and it’s comforting to hear discussion like this.
I absolutely love this podcast already. I was crying laughing at some points and I thoroughly enjoyed the more serious discussion at the end. You guys are a wonderful combination of people and I cannot wait for more from you guys. Thank you for doing this.
i relate to alayna so much! i’m not masc but i’m not femme. i came out around 3 years ago and i’m 16 and rn i’m obsessed with how to dress so i’ll look gay. also i love y’all so incredibly much and y’all make me feel so comfortable in who i am