10 MORE THINGS NOT TO SAY TO AUTISTIC PEOPLE
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When people say 'we are all a bit autistic' I like to respond "being dressed in red does not mean you are dressed a bit rainbowy"
I like to compare it to others conditions. If “we are all a bit autistic” “we are all a bit diabetic”
Same with adhd. I get that all the time. More then about autism. People say they can’t see my autism and then freak out
On the off chance I have a meltdown.
My therapist said that to me 😒
Dat was clever, I’m going to use dat nekst time someone sees dat to me
Ddlg abdl age regression little space my channel has
The lady psychiatrist that I went to and asked for an autism test said to me, but you make good eye contact. Um, yeah, I've had 50 years to teach myself how to do that.
Yeah therapist belive THEY KNOW YOU ,BETTER THEN YOU KNOW YOU.......their dumb that way
The first one I went to said I couldn’t be because I didn’t put holes in her walls and I made eye contact with her Dog 😮
Ddlg abdl age regression little space my channel ok
Yas! Same here! Why these "experts" keep thinking this is beyond frustrating!
Yes, this is why so many of us do not have diagnoses.
Never say "I support Autism Speaks" Any relation I have with that person is over if they say that
Same, my teacher last year said that and I said, if you want me to not ask for a new class plz never say that. She was like, but I thought you wanted me to understand autism. I do, but I don’t want her to think I’m a burden to my family
Welll...... I think that might be a little extreme if they are misinformed......I even supported them myself......till I learned the truth........Autism speaks should be sued for false advertising.
I'm on the spectrum........
@@joshuaestrada6042 I’m talking about on purpose and saying it regardless of being educated. Hope this helps. Btw I’m on the spectrum too
I'd say in response to that: "You mean 'Autism Sneaks'?"
When my friend said “thank you for trusting me with that!” When I told her I was autistic it was the most validating thing in the world, because I dont bring it up a lot
this is the most wholesome thing🥺❤️! what a lovely friend you have.
Ddlg abdl age regression little space my channel has
4:58 "high functioning doesn't mean that we dont struggle, it means that our struggles aren't as easibly seen by you and therefore are completely undermined" so true
when I was little I made zero eye contact but then I taught myself to make eye contact so now I do it way too intensely 😅
Same
Same
I stared, & got told not to, so every now & then I pick a random object to look at instead for a second then back.
Same
Relatable
it’s called masking, Karen 😂
I’m autistic and people at school say things like:
“So you’re emotionless?”
“No you’re not, you can walk and talk”
“It’s just an excuse to be weird”
“You don’t look autistic”
“Don’t hurt me!”
The last one comes from the stereotype that autistic people are violent 😑 I’m definitely the opposite, even mild violence scares me a lot.
Schools should do a better job about teaching about neurodiversity I know I’ve had to do a lot of unlearning
Oof where did the violent stereotype come from? I’m autistic but I don’t really know much about like stereotypes and stuff.
@@toxicsugarart2103 I don’t know where that stereotype comes from in society as a whole, but my first experience with someone autistic was with a violent person as a child and it took some unlearning to learn that violence isn’t related to autism
Im a man, so I'm societally expected to be violent, but I say fuck that bullshit.
@@emilytalerman3567 schools rlly should do a better job like, maybe don’t just send us all into a class and separate us from everyone else.
The funniest part of the whole “essential oils and yoga” nonesense is that I can’t cope with the smell of essential oils and yoga stresses me out. They’d be lucky if they got their suggested cure within 5 feet of me
No but why does everyone say this to people with mental illness or any struggle to ever exist? Jesus
@@lesbiangoddess290 Maybe because THEY'RE nuts?
I never had the patience for yoga, but I'm told it would help with my anger problems. Doubt it.
I'd rather smash things while listening to angry rock music. After that, I'm o-kay.
Yoga is demonic
I got yelled at so much growing up for not looking people in the eyes. That really pissed off my mother for some reason. So I learned to overcompensate then was yelled at for staring, lol. I had to put too much mental energy into getting eye contact to just the right amount. Fun stuff. I studied proper neurotypical social interactions and now I'm so good at masking everything that I can't get diagnosed.
I once got a "but you look normal" when I told someone I was autistic. Ugh.
That’s because most average people operate by stereotypes. They need structure and classification to give themselves a sense of comfort and order, otherwise it would be too overwhelming. Most average people have preferences as to what makes them comfortable and in the past, only those with severe autism were the ‘poster children’ for the standard. Even now, most people don’t know what autism is so if you tell them, they’re going to be surprised because they just accepted you as you were. Autism is only coming to the forefront because those with autism are sharing it so It’s not an insult when they say you look normal, they just don’t know what it means.
It’s hard to even understand what autism is if you don’t have it! It’s even harder to understand some behaviors autistic people have if you don’t know how to correctly interact with people who live with autism.
Believe it or not, autistic people have their rules and standards and for those who don’t have it, it can be very challenging because the ‘set of expectations’ do not meet and there is rejection and anger and intolerance. Some people with autism can be very controlling and want the world and everyone in it to be the way they want it. When it doesn’t, they can lash out at everything and they’re not always willing to accept someone at face value. ...It’s very hurtful. So, regardless of whether someone has Autism or does not, they both still operate from their preferences and expectations. ☹️
But what is "normal"?
I love how you are able to express yourself in front of a camera like this! Some of these hit harder then I expected and I would never be able to out myself like that, so thank you on speaking on behalf of the autistic community 🧩❤️
My grandaughter is autistic (7 years old) and I've heard all of these. I educate people as best I can without making them feel they have said something wrong. She is learning what is expected and masking/soothing techniques so it's harder to tell than when she was younger. I think "I'm sorry" is the only one that I still have a hard time with, but more people are aware and understanding of what autism is and isn't.
I have them tinker bell earrings 🥳😂 twinning♥️😂
I hate when people use autism as an insult or things like “she missed the sped bus” it makes me so mad
I hate it when people use autism as a "Get out of jail free" card. I won't name names, but I'm sure the autistic community knows who they are.
Okay, so YES there are SOME people who may abuse their diagnosis to get out of a difficult situation, but just imagine what that person must have been through already if that is what they have to resort to.
However the very vast majority of us either don't realise that stating that the reason why we struggle with something is because we're autistic can come across as rude. Or mostly (like me), we try incredibly hard not to say it because we know people don't like it and we understand that.
Recently I was told “well it’s not like you’re autistic 24/7, it’s not something you have to deal with all of the time” I was dumbfounded and just walked away. I wish I would have thought of something more clever in the moment as a response or a way to correct and educate him but I’m not so great at that haha
Sometimes a dirty look can say more than any words can.
I think in some ways I am still grappling with having autism, even though I was diagnosed 30 years ago. It still feels "wrong" to me. I often try to not think about it, or just pretend to be normal. But having said that I don't think it's worth getting offended by what people who don't know autism say, or what labels they give it. People who aren't autistic could never understand our experience nor should we expect them to.
Thank you!
I think the point is that the NT person is making assumptions about what you say you are.. what they think of you.. what they think of ND.. etc. it is much more than just making an assumption about autism.
It is not necessarily about everyone needing to know what being on the spectrum “looks like” for every single person on it, but it is kind of more about, like, pretending to know that you do..
Like, if you said “I’m a man” and I said “Well, you don’t look like one to me”
A) I am saying that I don’t trust you to know who you are and how you connect to your own identity. Doubting your ability to know yourself.
B) I understand your perspective and relationship to your diagnosis may be very different than mine or than Chloe’s and that is very personal and you are absolutely right to identify how you like, relate to that label in the ways that fit you. I hope this makes sense as I am trying to put it into words, please do know, my tone here is genuine.
C) I may not be a man, so I will likely never know your experience in being one the way you do.. and I will not pretend to know or experience life as a man simply because I am raising boys, have dated men or have men in my family.. but I also would never tell someone else they are not one; and especially in response to them being vulnerable and telling me that they are/do identify as such, especially by stating I know so because they aren’t similar to the other men I know (thus giving them the message that I know men better than them or that I don’t trust them to know themself).
Actually, even if I were a man I don’t think that saying any of that to someone, in response, would be okay.
I've simply learned to live with autism. Why? Because I have to. What choice do I have?
@@sharonjensen3016 I enjoy it well enough where I can. It has a lot of problems but I'm not about to hate a whole part of my lived experience. Love the moments you get to talk about your special interests the times you get all buzzy from a pleasant sensory experience and you stim happily about it. Our neurology is different but it's got positives. The world is a joy and I tend to think my my ASD helps me see the connections that link it all together.
Not sure I can relate, perhaps you have more severe symptoms, to me there's nothing to grapple with about having autism, I wouldn't be me if I wasn't autistic. I instead grapple with how people view and treat me because I'm autistic but I only owe people so much of certain behaviors only enough to convey my thoughts and feelings effectively and work with them, I owe them minimizing any direct harm that may come from my meltdowns or stimming or other such behavior but I don't owe them "normalcy" or whatever. I'm different not less.
Excellent video. I'm putting this in my research playlist to show to NTs, because it nicely explains common misconceptions about autism.
Excellent idea! I'm going to make an educational playlist too. 😊
Hey! I just found your channel and I am literally binge watching all of your videos! You are amazing! I have already learned so much about autism. You have definitely made a positive impact on my life, so thank you so much and keep being you! ❤️
4:57 - To me, “High Functioning” has NOTHING to do with how much someone struggles or not; it’s based on results. So, it doesn’t take away from someone’s achievements OR undermine someone’s struggles.
To me, “High Functioning” is nothing more than someone’s perception of your mask.
I agree it is someone's perception, which most of these things are about. But the issue is the way they treat you alongside it. Even if they don't use the words at all (even if they don't know the words), someone who sees me and treats me like they perceive I am high-functioning, is neglecting to perceive or acknowledge the countless ways I am struggling to appear that way to them. And that is invalidating because it makes my achievements not feel as valuable and it's like I never needed help in the first place,.....it's difficult to explain.
I’ve had people say things like “you don’t look autistic”, “you can’t be autistic because you can speak” or “ you can’t be autistic because you have friends”.
Chloe, I always enjoy your energy and enthusiasm in speaking up:)!! God Bless you for all you do:)!!! I really LOVE those Tinker Bell Earrings, Vegan Barbie Jumper, and your tie dye pants with flower and butterfly:)!!!
Your outfit made me hand flap 😆😆🤩😍
Omg my friends a I are all autistic and we also do. That ALOT
Ha, that's so cute! I only flap when really stressed out. But I do clap when happy/excited. We're all so different!
@@SullenAngel same! i either clap or bounce, its lovely to share stims with people who understand
My mom is also a Christian & she raised me to Treat others the way you would want to be Treated Cloe. 😇
I wish someone would tell those in positions of power and authority that. Because they really need to think about how they treat people. All people, that is, not just those who are most "acceptable" or "important."
You came up in my recommended and I’m so glad that you did!!! I can’t stand the high functioning label either. I have an autistic husband and son (both diagnosed last year) the amount of people that say this stuff to me and my husband about our son is ridiculous!! I also tell people the same thing. You shouldn’t downplay me being black be sure it’s who I am and a big part of how I live my life. I don’t really talk to other moms of autistic kids because it boils my blood when most are trying to find ways of a “cure”. Thank you for sharing this I will see be sending this to people when I don’t have the energy to repeat myself in things they shouldn’t say.
I don’t use the functioning labels I prefer to call myself an Aspie
I agree with a lot of things about autistic people. I have members in my family, especially my cousin, who is in college with me, and he once told me that I need to come out more, and get out of your comfort zone, and I'm like "What comfort zone are you talking about?. It's just who I am". When they have been saying stuff like that to me, it pretty much hurts my feelings. I never wanted to be like my cousin at all. I just want to be like myself. I have a disability, and I have been battling seizures during my childhood, and it was not easy. I have been trying to get out more, but it was pretty difficult for me as a disabled person. I did not choose to have a disability. It just came to me. I am proud of being myself, and I loved myself for who I am, and my family is just going to have to deal with it. Thank you for sharing these video. It really does help.
The whole "I never would've guessed!"/"High-functioning" thing....yeah. When I get that, I do try to explain that it's not a compliment at all (even though they may have meant well), and I'll try to get them to imagine what it's like to have to pretend to be something that feels totally unnatural whenever there's another human in the room (other than my wife, who understands better than any NT I know). Every day, for their entire lives, and that I have to do it solely because nobody would accept me in social situations otherwise.
But then...there's the "Isn't there a treatment?"/"I'm sorry" thing, which...nope, even with the adaptations and difficulties, I actually really like being me. I love the fact that I see the world differently. Even if there was a "cure"(which is nonsensical in itself), there's no way in hell I'd take it because I don't want to stop being me.
To most people, those two things are a complete contradiction that causes a total cognitive short-circuit in NT folk. The only people I've ever met who can understand it are my fellow NDs, and...I'm actually pretty comfortable with that :)
I am autistic and i hate the fact that anytime I tell people the reason I talk slow, they ask me to visit a speech coach or they say 'so now everyone who talks slow is autistic' It is very annoying and those comments made me question a lot of things about myself before i became more self confident. I love how people are raising awareness about these, it's good to know I'm not the only one.
Much much looove girl!!! :) biiiig hug from me and my son!!!! (he doesnt speak english yet..he is five..also on the spectrum...and when he sees you he is sooooo happy!)
I love how positive she is! :)))
I wish I had just a little bit of Chloé's "sparkle." Whatever happiness I had died when I started attending ableist schools.
You're gorgeous!! I love your aesthetic (that's how you spell it, right?) I'm not autistic, my husband is, I'm HSP and borderline and these videos help me so much!! I want your cat ears :c but I can't wear them because of my hypersensitivity. Just thank you SO MUCH for being you, for you and anyone else reading this.
I loved the first point about identity, very well explained!
A suggestion! cc or subtitles for videos. I would love it. I'm sure someone in your devoted fan base could do it or lighten the load! Or just for focusing help pop ups on screen for your big points or lists. Thank you for the superb content
Too much time and enjoying data entry makes me want to do all the cc for the back catalog of videos on the channel.
I came up with a response to "you don't look autistic" its a joke and I have said it only once. "You don't look autistic." "You don't look ignorant but looks can be deceiving"
or maybe instead of ignorant maybe "like an ableist". its a bit rude though so I only used it once and it was a friend so he knew I was joking.
No they were rude, you can be rude back
Someone in my family told me when they did work experience in a charity shop that they got to experience working with difficult people like autistics or menta,ly disabled. This same person told me a couple years prior that I had been diagnosed with autism
What an insult we aren’t mentally retarded and we aren’t difficult. If the world was set up for autistics instead of neurotypical they’d be the ones accused of being difficult for struggling
yeah lol my grandparents are anti-autism.
Can you make a video about how and when to tell people, you are autistic? I really struggle with it🙂
Well that ask depends on the person, there is no one-size-fits-all got this, actually. I have autism just a little free advise. But if you really need help, here's what my parents did for me:
They just casually brought it up, didn't treat me like I was different from anyone else. They exploded what autism was when I asked, and gave me the help I needed to survive my life. Although, life she said in the video, masking. Make sure they know that the stereotype of autism is not true, cool?
@@carsonsomething2825 my mum did that too. We were on a walk and she asked if she could tell me something so I said yes and she said “you know how you went to that test thing? Yeah, they actually said you are autistic! Do you know what that means?” And I said yes.
Just say it, sometimes just bringing things up, out of the blue, can be the better option.
IM SO GLAD YOU BROUGHT UP EINSTEIN!!!
Lol, I have never got the "I would have never guessed you're autistic" I get ahhhh! That makes sense! So, I guess my mask sux 🤣🤣🤣
I love your energy. Those flower ears are giving me so much.
i have hated my name till now as a chloe im PROUD to have the same name
I'm 54 and I'm dealing with recently being diagnosed as autistic, do you want to tell people what they SHOULD be saying to autistic's? (Filtered 🙂)
Hey, if you want any cooing advice from a fellow autistic human, just reply to this comment. I'll get a notification on my phone and give ya a little advise. I'm always here, I may not know, but here, have a digital hug.
@@carsonsomething2825 hi, just saw your message. How are you?
Not autistic (so I'm told) but I went to an autism test once as a grown adult, and it was the test designed for children. I had to show them that I could summarize a story in a picture book, make one up based on some objects strewn on the table and talk to the camera about myself. It felt a little disorienting to say the least. Apparently it was the only one they had kicking about? They even asked me if the footage could be used for training doctors, and so it was sent to a whole group of people who seemed to collectively agree I don't have autism, I'm just kind of weird. I didn't get any diagnosis at all.
On a side note, if it hasn't been covered yet on this channel, saying something about how those diagnostic tests work and why they show someone has autism might be interesting.
When I told a school counselor I’m neurodivergent, (in my case, that means ADHD/Autism) and she didn’t believe solely because “I communicate well” and “make eye contact”
Well, I don’t make eye contact (even with my family and my crush and best friend of 5 years, I can only look at the Bernal direction of only one eye at a time) and I don’t even actually make contact with adults or other kids because I just learned “If I stare at people’s noses, I’m less likely to get scorn for not eye-contact-ing”
As for my “good” communication, I think it’s mainly because I don’t spend a lot of time talking with other people (though that is changing because therapy and high school) so I spend a lot of time communicating with myself. I just sort of have my usual internal monologues aloud durring therapy and that seems to come off as “she knows how her mind works”
But yeah, otherwise, my immediate family members, teachers, few close friends, and any person who knows me well enough has said with all seriousness that I am ADHD/Autstic, and I agree because I have a sizable list of (what is aprently) “Autistic” things that I do that I can’t explain with just my ADHD
Your beautiful Chloe you seem like such a lively friendly person I have only been diagnosed with autisim and your videos always helps and I don't tell anyone your beautiful and perfect the way you are love you Chloe
@George what kind of dumping ground Chloe is awesome
@George still not really sure what your on about
@George no iam not from the UK
I have been diagnosed with HFA. Here is how I feel about each thing.
1. The thing about labels, I just don't like what they are to society. I like the idea of labels but now the idea of how we use them and think of them. I guess this mostly applies to me with labels of what lifestyle I have, or what sexuality I am. I hate being asked if I'm gay or straight or anything in between cause A) I don't like how that can change people's perspective on me and B) The way people always seem to change what those labels mean all the time and the fact that many people can't even agree what's what makes it so confusing for me to know which one I'm even a part of. And this applies to style stuff too, am I punk? goth? emo? rocker? metalhead? I mean nobody can seem to agree to one definitive definition to any of those things, so I have a hard time answering people on that. Even stuff like religion gets hard for me to assign myself a label to, am I atheist or agnostic? Well I believe for sure that the only religion I've studied is fake and cannot be real, and I doubt any others are, but I don't believe I truly know if the others are cause I haven't seen them, so what does that even make me? All I know is I'm a white male who likes the colour black and lives aggressive music, doesn't believe in god and has autism and adhd. I can't find good labels for that, because everything and everyone around me confuses me on that, so I actually have started to hate labels.
2. I just don't care if someone says they "never would've known". Some people have said that. I rarely tell people about it unless it's relevant to a conversation we're having, and if we just don't have a relevant conversation, well, so be it. I personally don't care. What bothers me more is people who don't know, and assume I'm just being bad whenever I'm in a mood.
3. I haven't heard this so I have no comment.
4. I haven't heard this so I have no comment. However people do call me smart and my special ed teachers say that supposedly being HFA makes me some kind of genius or something, I don't know what that's about.
5. I haven't heard this so I have no comment.
6. Anytime this word is mentioned in this response, I'm going to say "poptart" instead. Okay? Good. I've grown up hearing that word just used as a word for "idiot". Most the people around me don't usually use it to describe handicapped people, but that's just the people I know. However I get what the point of that is and I for the most part totally agree because I have heard it used that way, but it was a different term. I would hear kids at school use "special ed" as an insult. Even on roblox communities, they use special needs as an insult. That really gets to me cause for a while now, "poptart" wasn't the word being used seriously and/or formally to describe the mentally handicapped, but "special education" and "special needs kids" are real terms used for the subject and still are and people are using that as an insult, which really hurts because they know damn well what those words mean. So I have heard it in a different flavor than you have, but it's the same thing and I totally agree with you. That has to stop!
7. I haven't heard this so I have no comment. I've had special ed teachers and psychologists tell me that HFA means I'm smart or something, so I've heard the opposite as you.
8. If you see this and you're someone who says that, F you.
9. I haven't heard this so I have no comment.
10. I haven't heard this, but I do have a comment. I would hate to hear this too. I hate people feeling sorry for me, I do like to be the center of attention at times but only during good times when I'm trying to have fun and be happy. I don't want to be the center of attention during sad times because sad times are the times I don't like to drag out. And it feels like it's going on so long whenever I'm the main star in the middle of it.
Facts: Functioning labels don’t exist
Autism Mamas:
Chloe: oOOOPps
Dude, i can't keep up with your explosive energy!
I have autism and I was diagnosed at 8 thank you for making this video it's very kind
I need HELP not coming off as stand offish or emotional. My inability has meant I've kept my diagnosis from others around me. I want to be able to talk to asd ignorant people well enough to not threaten them so they are more open to hearing the truth that's against preconceived ideas. If a small convo w/ me helps open their mind they will find so much info to back up the facts I lay down. I dont want to tell ppl I'm on the spectrum then not be able to answer or correct false concepts of autism. I would not want to see those ppl again to deal w/ the taunts or walk around the topic.
I'm well aware that I come across as stand-offish and unfriendly, but that's not my intention. It's just that some of the comments certain neurotypicals make get right up my nose. "Ugh, why would you say that? How embarrassment! Would you say that to a so-called normal person?" I feel like saying this, but I don't.
I know this is unrelated but so many people talk about autistic's (especially girls) being very skilled and art and very creative.
Bruh whenever I try to write or draw I usually don't even know where to begin and my creativity just stops which pisses me off because I really enjoy these things and I want to get good but I'm just horrific at it.
Also, I can't focus on it and my mind just goes somewhere else. (Plus I'm not very original, it's hard for me to create a word and I also have a hard time understanding different personalities. Every character I create acts similar or to 'normal' stereotypes)
Finally, everyone talks about obsessive interest but I don't have one. Like once I found an art thing called 'Diamond Dots' and I was obsessed with it for like a day and now I just can't begin to focus on it. Anyway, besides that, I can be into things but I don't know EVERY SINGLE THING about it, just the basics.
I know this is only like 2 things but there are so many other traits I don't have or fit into. Also, I always fought I'd be ADHD (tho I can stay still for a while) and before my diagnosis, my parents thought I might have OCD, and I was diagnosed when I had struggles with anxiety and depression, so I might see if I can be checked again to see if I'm even Neurodivergent.
Imma get back to my life of just sitting in bed lol
-A Random Autistic Bastard
P.S. Everytime I go to spell Autism or Autistic I start to spell Australia, fun fact
I hear alot of people when making fun, call someone's different-Ness "the 'tisim"
Or "he's got the tisim" while everyone laughs.
Omg you’re so gifted! Everything I wanna say you say it so effortlessly. Also English is my second language so I have twice as hard but keep up the good work!
Yes! I am so sick of the “have you ever tried...” Thank you!
Thankyou Chloe for making these videos! I just received my 7 year old sons diagnoses yesterday and I’ve been watching your videos for the last few months trying to learn all that I can about Autism. I really appreciate you! 🦋 🦋 🦋 💕💕
She is a great reference, but use other sources as well. Try doing die study work and writing an essay- proven fact, writing essays and such can help one remember what they have learned.
Caroline Young I have been doing other research, I just wanted to praise Chloe for the good work that she does. I did an online course through amaze the other day and learnt some things about funding etc too... I’m a kindergarten Teacher also so do have knowledge from my studies, it’s just different looking at it from a parents angle.
Right on Chloe! Keep being you!
When I told my friend that a small percentage of autistic people go to college so I'm hoping to get a scholarship from having autism she said "but autistic people are really smart aren't they?" And like thanks I guess lol idk
I told a friend of mine i might be autistic and they went like: yeah but its propably very slight autism cause i know a person with autism and like they cant even talk. And that hurt me so much because, im good at masking. So just because you cant see my discomfort and my overwhelmed moments and when im in burnout or in a meltdown, then that still means it happens!
I really like your personality.
I have had people say I don’t like like I have autism and say I’m sorry I agree it’s part of me and what makes me who I am
On one hand I understand why people use labels like high functioning, it's a way to say something that you don't know a different way to do, but I also understand that it can get very annoying
I've had two variations of "but you don't look autistic": 1) "I never would've guessed!" (from an occupational therapist, no less!), and 2) "You seem to be dealing with it quite well!" (from the facilitator of a social anxiety support group I was part of). I didn't know how to react to both incidents. Now that I'm more aware of how trash functioning labels are, if anyone calls me "high functioning" again, I plan to clap back with, "Oh, you mean I have Socially Acceptable Autism? Well, bless your heart."
Hi Princess. I recently asked my therapist for a referral to someone who could assess me for ASD (he hasn't worked with autistics that weren't children and isn't a specialist in that, either) and he said, "You don't seem autistic in that you seem to have a very good theory of mind. You spend a lot of time imagining how other people think." I think I said, "that has nothing to do with autism. The way I understand it, the difficulties associated with autism are about communication and socialization."
He also said something close to, "Even if you came back with a diagnosis, I don't know what I would do for you because you don't need ABA therapy." I said, "I still have lots of goals, and a diagnosis would let me know to ignore advice from people who assume my brain works typically. It would also make people more likely to take me seriously when I tell them what I do or don't need."
OMG I love you!! You explained this so well girl.
I was diagnosed with autism (or, as the doctor who diagnosed me said: ‘not a child to be proud of) at a very young age, especially for a girl in the early 90’s. To be honest, I kind of envy the people who were considered ‘normal’ in their childhood.
I had been forced to make eye contact as a child, so I don’t avoid it as much as the stereotypical autistic person does. I noticed that you were struggling to look into to camera when you were talking about eye contact.
By the way, I love that you are always wearing flower crowns!
Any doctor who would say that is not of this earth and needs a lesson in humility.
I'm not autistic but i have a lot of autistic friends that i love very much. So one day in seventh or eighth grade the topic of autism came up somehow and this guy proceeded to say that autistic people don't have emotions. And i tried to explain why he's completely wrong but he wouldn't listen :(
My one autistic friend once said that she either feels everything or nothing and she often can't tell what emotion exactly she feels. She is one of the most caring, funny, honest and nicest people i've ever known and i love her very much so obviously i was very upset.
Didn't like that guy before, liked him even less afterwards.
When someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them.
Not all disabilities are visible. People need to remember that.
Yep had all or some similar variation of all of these since my diagnosis a year ago ... I think my favorite (sarcasm) was when I told my family and my grandmother said "it sounds like an excuse to be difficult to me" I responded "that's not how that works but if you want to have a real conversation about it I'm happy to otherwise I'm leaving now"
My grandmother was even more of a snob. "Nothing like that in my family!" I cut her out of my life when I was almost thirty, and hardly saw her before she died in 2013. I didn't attend the funeral, not because I "lack empathy" (I don't, by the way), but because I'm not a hypocrite. I wasn't going to sit there and listen to the lies when I knew what she was like. Two-faced, just like other neurotypicals I've known. Nice to their own kind, but horrible to the likes of me. Still, I did think of my grandmother that day, while singing to myself: "Ding dong, the witch is dead!" Well, I'm sorry, but she was a witch. Some autistics out there probably had wonderful grandmothers, but I didn't have that with my dad's mother. My mum's mother was okay, even though she had her issues. Both of my grandfathers were nice men. Only one was still alive when I reached adulthood. Poppy Jensen died not long after I turned ten, and Pa Smith died when I was thirty-six. He had a fall which he never recovered from. He met one great-grandson (my cousin's eldest boy), but he never met his other great-grandsons or great-granddaughter.
Litery everybody in my family said i just have sensory problems and im like sooo my random meltdowns,just upset for little stuff,very picky eater,scared of sudden noises, dont like loud noises but can tolerate them, hates making eye contact literly cant make eye contact unless is needed my counseling even notice i never or very rarely make eye contact its hard for me to sit and listen to church for more than 2 mins if i have nothing to do and i dont want people to think im being disrespectful if im tearing up a crayon during church i love god but i hate having to stay still i cant stay still for probably the life of me ,still using baby wipes at age 12,tears up crayons to be calm ,and much more dont show im autistic to u? My family think my brother is autism because he gets mad easliy still aint talking at 4 yrs old and other stuff i dont rember me like so he aint talking means he autism
Probably you both are
Love you for how you are
Have you read the book ‘do you know me’ it’s about an autistic girl named tally and I think you will like it if you haven’t read it already
I made the mistake of telling the wrong group of people that I'm autistic. I heard someone say "what, are you autistic?" In a way that was obviously meant as an insult. I said out loud, "what's wrong with being autistic?" Whole group got quiet. Deer in the headlights looks. "There's nothing wrong with being autistic. Heck, I'm autistic." "You're autistic?" "I mean.. yes?" The group never said or did anything mean to me after that, but the group dissolved and floated away and those people stopped talking to me after that. Never treated me badly, but dang if that doesn't sting :')
I think you already said #2 in the first one of these you made. But, that's fine! It definitely bears repeating! Thanks for the lovely video. :)
I'm seeing doctors for a late diagnosis bc I have all the characteristics since childhood and my coworker yesterday said things like: "you don't look autistic, have you ever tried to see If youre adhd?" And when I told her my reality she was like "i do that too, i see myself in you" "oh and autistics are super intelligent!" Like nooo, she was Just being ignorant bc of lack of information but still, I was kinda uncomfortable, they see me was super intelligent and nerdy etc... I'm not, I Just like some specific topics
Autistic people are just so powerful, with their passion of their special interests and their strong sense of justice-nothing can stop them
Honestly love the fact you showed off your outfit
You are so beautiful and have the most amazing unique style
I love your all your videos
Before I discovered I'm autistic, I always used to say the one thing no one could take from me was my brain
Doctors told my mom I can't be autistic or adhd because I'm too smart. Well well how the tables have turned.
When I seem to notice if people likely have a neurodiversity such as autism and ADHD: i tend to notice that they have some similarities to me in that they can hyper focus on a subject, have intense interests that go beyond or are more niche than some people, I tend to notice when people have sensory sensitivities based on clothing textures, tags, reactions to stimuli, sometimes doing echolalias when it feels out of sync with those social nuances that are not clear or consistent but others seem to pick up on, finding things harder to do that others just do, like sitting at a desk all day without fidgitting or getting anxious or overwhelmed. Obviously this doesn't mean 100% sure it's autism or ADHD, but if someone displaying all of those sorts of things then told me "guess what I am ADHD or Autistic!" I wouldn't be surprised. When people mask it can be harder to tell at first, but if they get to a point where they break down and tell me that they can't mask anymore, I'm not going to question that reality because that would be harmful. Self acceptance and appreciation is the goal.
Oh, I also wanted to share this just to clarify something. When I state to people that I'm almost autistic/might be if they slightly change the criteria in the future, I'm not suggesting that the "spectrum" goes from high functioning to low functioning and I might be too high functioning to be considered autistic. That would be offensive. I mean that we are still learning about things like autism free from stereotypes and for some people who are neurodiverse like me (ADHD and dyslexia and PTSD and EDS) teasing a part what behaviours (ciriteria) are due to what can be super hard. We are still learning. I'm definitely NOT endorsing functioning labels as I don't agree that any neurodiverse person should strive to be neurotypical.
Thank u for this platform. Mother God bless you ❤️❤️❤️🤗
I feel like you could make the best memes or vines
I used to have a friend who told me i wasn't autistic because she didn't think i was
Also another thing to add to your list
"Take a hint" I have trouble with hints. Its basically people getting angry at me for not reading social skills. Also "Its common sense are you stupid" it might be for you but not for me........
3:22 "It'S cALLeD mAsKiNgG KaReNnN!!"
- I feel that my pastor at this new church we're attending had the nerve to say that I didn't look autistic, and gave me this look as if I was crazy and misdiagnosed..... I'm think you don't know who the heck I am and you do not know what I am like at home and around friends when I'm NOT masking....
Yaaaas i found yur channel 😎
All I have heard the past month is 'oh you don't seem autistic', one of those people being a nurse who then said she means it as a complement. Ummm sorry lady but what's wrong with being autistic.
I only make eye contact in groups but one on one I look to the side...lol...whack
I FREAKING LUV U SO MUUUCH
Is it possible to get a misdiagnosed of autism?
Yes, but that doesn't happen often.
If you mean being autistic, and getting diagnosed with something else, that is very possible and quite common. If you mean having something else and being diagnosed as autistic, it is possible, just not as common.
This is the first time I heard of ‘masking’ when you discussed eye contact. The way you said it though, showed your irritation. So, I always wondered why some people behave disrespectfully under the suspicion that they have autism, yet they behave well with others. In ‘neurotypicals’ it is considered rude behavior, especially when there is no reason to warrant such disrespectful behavior. For many years, it felt like gaslighting. The natural instinct to uncomfortable situations and behaviors is basically to extract oneself from such things because the messages are mixed. I didn’t know autistic persons are capable to selecting who to like or dislike and use tactics such as masking. Often times, a person can be abusive when they do those things and they expect you to just keep tolerating their bad behavior but you’ve given a clear explanation that they are aware so this helps me greatly how to manage unpleasant experiences without feeling guilty.
Hi!I'm a 40 year old woman.5 years ago i was diagnosed with bpd.After that till today ive done a big research on the internted and i m convinced that i am on the spectrum.I am afraid to go to a docror because o think that will laugh at me,because i don't complete all the traits.Like for example i like a like to go to a concert and listen to loud music....I don't know.
No autistic people can have all traits, a lot are contradictory
I have atusim and ADHD too my mum found you and I've been watching your videos since I would love to know we're you get your headbands from
Different but not less
I'm Autistic ( Asperger's) Sensory Processing Disorder
Yesss another video!! Xxx
Five years ago, my mother sat me down for a quiet word. She very unexpectedly told me that she knew I had Asperger's and explained why she thought this:- inability to attract women, make close friends and this embarrassing obsession with aircraft of all types. I thanked her for the heads up.......and then went home and wept. I felt like less of a person from knowing this. Mum gave me this book on Asperger's with some gawky looking woman with glasses on the cover......she looked like a female undertaker, and that groced me out. I woke up the next day and took the day off work. I wanted to take my life. Then I did what many Aspies do, and got online and investigated the condition properly. I wanted to understand it. I looked up famous people who may possibly have it.......and my mind was immediately put to rest. All these marvelous people I could now identify with gave me a real lift.
I'm still single though. I found out about my condition rather late in life and looked for love in the wrong places as a result of not previously knowing what I had. I could look for an Aspie lady, but no longer want a committed relationship, just a casual one with no strings. I just don't believe you can have a late start and expect a smooth transition.
I can't state enough the importance of an early diagnosis, then you can look for love, friendships and employment in appropriate places.
Thank you so much for this video
cutest saying ever 8:56
Everybody who I've told I"m autistic say, "you're really high functioning though" and "I never would've guessed, you don't look autistic" and it makes me want to yell at them, they say it like not looking autistic is a good thing, like I should be proud of masking and looking "normal"
you make me happy stim!!!!!!