Great advice. My sister and I talk often about how differently we dress when going out in the suburbs compared with going out in the city. An outfit that says "I'm a little bit quirky" in the city says "I'm going to a Halloween party" in the suburbs.
I find myself wanting to rebel slightly to what ever place I live. 😅 When I lived in an artistic city, I choose more conservative items and when I lived in a conservative city, I dressed more provocatively. Now I live in an ultra casual, rural small town and dress up more. I guess being mildly rebellious with my style is what makes me feel most like myself. ❤️ Super interesting video!
Same for me, but in the way that I don't dress any differently, no matter where I live. My style is my style and you'll catch me rocking dark lipstick or whatever anywhere - the city, a small village, at the beach, at the supermarket... I don't care 😀
In Jordan petersens personality test you’d likely score high in Disagreeableness, it’s a necessary role in society, especially with value of agreeableness declining as the world changes. Look into it. ❤
@@MrsPaulaTorres "Jordan Peterson's" personality test is really just something known as the "Five Factor Model" developed in tbe 80s by Lewis Goldberg. It's also known as the OCEAN tool. It has strengths and limitations, so look into it. You don't have to take the test through Jordan Peterson to find out about yourself in terms of these personality qualities. You can probably find a free test online. I would personally look more towards those original sources than J.P.
Love it! 🥰 As a Soft Dramatic but also a practising Muslim in Pakistan, none of the SD pinterest boards work for me! I can’t expose my neckline area, can’t wear short sleeves that highlight my ‘T’, nor are high-waisted jeans an option. Good thing is Pakistan has its own vibrant fashion culture & a massive eastern clothing industry w lots of variation in details. You can always find a desi dress that works for you, customising necklines sleeves hemlines and waists to your liking is the norm. Letting go of Pinterest envy is important sometimes haha
That was such a relatable and interesting comment. As a Brazilian Soft Dramatic I don't face the same dilemmas but when I consume a lot of American inspo relating to my Kibbe ID I notice that the uber glamorous satin slip dresses and off the shoulder tops are not really an option for me either and they also don't really relate to my lifestyle [I'm not religious but I could say I'm more conservative in my outfits than the average Brazilian woman because it makes me feel more comfortable in public]. However, I learned enough to start incorporating elements of that ''queenly persona'' that I relate so much in the color palette I stick to, the jewelry I wear, etc. Also, desi attire has gotta be one of the most beautiful traditional clothing in the whole world so I have my own kind of envy of those who can dress like that every day, it's amazing and you are really lucky, girl
For the too reveling American necklines and short sleeves, it's the same effect whether it's fabric on skin, fabric on fabric, or a change on the printed patterns. You can try to create the same visual with no skin involved.
I totally agree with the letting go on Pinterest envy thing. sometimes outfits that are promoted on there may not even look good on us or suit our needs realistically. I'd always see cute outfits on there and wish I could dress like them but now I've realised that envy is never going to end because Pinterest just shows more and more outfits that I wont necessarily buy or have reason to buy lol
I'm 60 and I don't care. I live in an area that is cowboy/lumberjack/hiker/pajama pants slob in style and I am definitely Not. I dress well. I have been here for 20 years and everyone I know expects me after all this time to be dressed well. I actually wore something out of character once as an experiment, and everyone was like what happened? are you well? 🙂😆😏
You nailed this so perfectly!!! I have wrestled with this a lot as a military wife. You've really articulated this challenge so well, I totally agree that it isn't about insecurity but it's about communication. We don't express ourselves in a vacuum, therefore we are communicating information about who we are. I feel more content and clear about myself when there is harmony between me, functionality, and my environment.
I think the decor in your home also has an effect on this "out of place" feeling. If you have a farmhouse style in your home, but you live in manhattan, your outfit might look completely different when you're getting dressed v.s when you're outside. The background is very important. I learned this when I used to work on the window displays at my old job. The items you put in the background affected how attractive the outfit looks. I suggest you pick an area to get dressed in that looks neutral. I placed my floor-length mirror across an empty white wall so nothing clashed with my outfit. Also, try to have some more neutral lights instead of warm lights or super cool lights. This not only affects your outfit.
My style doesn't fit with my area and my life. I like to be classic, dressy and my town, friends and being a mum, are all casual. In that case, I started to incorporate activities that require the upgraded style. And I also try to go only one step above to what everyone else is wearing, so I don't feel so out of place.
Oh boy was this a problem for me when I lived in Norway and Germany. I couldn’t even find clothing FOR me in Norway. Everything was for naturals. Everything was for athletic outdoor life. I don’t know if it’s changed but I was so uncomfortable and ugly in it.
😄😂🙈🌸🌺🎨💎 yeesss…so true _ greetz from Germany 😄🙋♀️ as a romantic with extravagant aspects and as deep winter with intense colours, oh boy - sometimes it can be tricky, especially when you walk your dog (and you can not and will not dress 👗 like a 50‘s glamourous night out 😂💎👗) I feel it took me aaagggesss to find something in the direction of „appropriate“ when going out in nature and still challenges me…while for others „just a t-shirt and sport leggings“ works so fine… I feel it is still the case - especially that „not looking good in the athletic outdoor staff“ and! please don’t be to loud in colours or be to feminine when you are not 1,80 m and thin (please by no way any offense to this kind of beautiful women) - it is like a puzzle 🧩 but doable and worth it once you find your way to your Stil (even if some people more in the countryside have to become more and more familiar with colours and different styles 😂😂😂🎨🌸🌺)
Oh I feel you. I have a middle east TR body living in Sweden. I love the Scandinavian aesthetic, but it just doesn't work for me at all! I look so odd. Finding clothes is a challenge. There are some "ok" brands but I end up ordering from abroad sometimes.
Living in Germany in a small village this has always been a struggle for me! I always felt like i was being ‘too much’ but now I’m gradually learning to just live out my authentic style. I mean we love going grocery shopping in borderline wedding guest dresses 😂👏🏻✨🧚🏻♀️ But i also recently recognized that outfits that would look ‘extremely dressed up’ on other people look quite normal on me haha and people see your personality that lies beneath anyway so might as well show it also on the outside.
Saaaaame. I used to think I was a SN and a soft autumn. So I should have looked good in Scandinavia where I lived too. It turns out that I am a dark autumn and a petite, TR. I look finally myself with sparkles and glamourous styles. I looked like the shadow of myself up there. For years.
Yes this makes total sense. Where I live in Canada black is our "national colour". Every season, day or night, every occasion. Black is thought of a sexy, confident, slimming and elegant. A few years ago a friend of mine who always wears black, black and more black and she looks amazing in black took a vacation to Italy. While there she learned that black is mostly worn by women who's husband has passed away. People were actually approaching her to offer her sympathy, support and condolences. When she returned home back to Canada you can be assured that her basically black wardrobe was given the boot. Even though black looks amazing on her she now does not want to wear it anymore. So this video really explains that issue. Thanks.
It's a shame that people make false assumptions about you if you dress at a different level to them, but they do. I am treated with more respect at the office wearing a black jacket than a green cardigan, and at the local market stall holders are friendlier if I wear the cardigan. I have one half of my wardrobe in softer natural colours and styles for where I live in the countryside, and the other half in crisper stronger colours and styles for the office, travel and cities.
It’s especially difficult to have an outfit for every occasion when you prefer being a minimalist. I suppose i just have to work harder at making my personality suit the occasion instead of my outfit.
@@spontaneousjane depends on how you see minimalism? Because I think you're right if you see it as having fewer things, while you could also see it as having only what you need and in that second case having different sets of clothes because you feel (and are treater) better in different situations could be seen as having what you need an therefore fit into minimalism.
I notice the difference so much when going to visit family in Cyprus from the UK. Not just the temperature difference but the light and the difference in lifestyle makes it impossible for me to feel right in the same clothes. In Cyprus i want to wear brighter, clearer colours whereas in the UK I like to have everything muted and quieter.
Could you tackle dressing for a season that isn't naturally in your lines? For example I live in a cold climate but I'm a rounded body type and I struggle with wearing thick warm material and coats etc. Thanks!xx
Sorry for sticking in, the question is interesting. Did you try to wear wrap-style coats? I also found it comfortable to layer winter clothing (I might say that I am also rounded, even overweight). For example a hoodie, a sturdy denim jacket and pretty thin woolen winter coat with length below the knee make me super warm and also beautiful! And I live in Belarus, where we casually have -15C at winters.
Very interesting question and I look forward to the input! I'm also plump and it's really hard to feel happy about having to wear warm clothing that adds a good 6in (or more) to one's circumference.
As a rounded body type in Canada, I know your pain. T__T Weirdly enough, the best fit I found are lolita style winter coats. As for more mainstream stores, wool coats will look better than padded down ones. Look for furry details, which will soften lines.
Yes! It's so difficult to find suitable rounded body type coats in the shops as oversized clothing has been in fashion for a while. Plus a lot of things are in black which make me look ill (light, soft and warm colouring here). It took me 2 years to find a winter wool coat and I ended up settling for something as I was desperate at that point.
This was such a great video! I have a pretty extreme gothic style and just moved to a smaller city this summer, I’ve been in complete shock. Where I used to live, no one ever cared what I looked like…but now, I am a fish out of water. I won’t change my aesthetic, but I have avoided some of my heavier looks (platform boots, chains, bizarre avant-garde pieces). I have been trying to integrate in more casual pieces like leggings, t shirts, and even bought my first pair of sneakers in ages. I have been having a full on identity crisis lol
Brilliant video! I love how analytical you are. If I could watch only one style-related channel it would be yours. I always dressed well, but watching your videos took it on another level. I lived in several countries, and I travel a lot, but I never understood why something I wear feels amazing in one place and not that great in another. Thank you so much for explaining! I hope UA-cam algorithm will pick up your channel, you deserve a huge audience!
Very helpful, I think I had to adjust my style when I went from being a professional in a big city to a professional in a small city to a parent in a small city. Lifestyle factors certainly had a big part to play, also mixing favourite pieces with newer pieces to create a new version of my style, but that still felt like me.
I totally can relate to this topic. ♡ Depending on the situation, I handle this matter with a mix of 1) assimilation, recognizing the influence our environment can have on us and 2) challenging those standards in my own way which in turn can inspire others and potentially influence them. I have a similar philosophy when I move a new space, apartment/house. I ask 2 questions, what is most fitting for this space? and what do I like. I subsequently make my decorating decisions with those things in mind and the result is a beautiful and harmonious environment. (as long as I clear out the clutter lol)
Such a thought-provoking way of looking at this topic (which I want to ponder in relationship to my own experience)! I’ve moved frequently (7 regions overseas and 9 distinct cultures in the US) and notice that I don’t feel comfortable until I find a way of looking more like whatever culture I’m in (usually = shopping locally, at least for a few pieces). That has made my wardrobe kind of complicated (since I would like to own fewer things and I also don’t want to spend/consume a ton… and I get sentimental, as my clothes serve as reminders of my life experiences in certain places). I struggle when I live some place where I don’t really like the style ~ so I don’t want to adjust my style to fit in (eg, where things are more casual, less artistic, less fitted or style-conscious in general). I’m moving next month to a place where I suspect this will be the case (though it has other benefits!). It feels like my identity shifts/adjusts a lot - and that really is represented through clothing! - so I struggle to have a firm concept of who I am (vs who I am for the year or two when I live in a new place) and how I might want to present myself. I’m very curious to attempt to understand myself in relation to the points you brought up (ie, my level of dress compared to peers). I’m wondering how I could not stand out too much without compromising what I already own and enjoy wearing. If you’ve made it through this very long comment 😜, I’d love to hear any further advice you might have! Thanks for always making such great videos (and also for the advice you gave me when you typed me ~ 2 years ago ☺️ it has been really helpful - especially the color recommendations!)!
@@MassielMancebo I hope you find a good way to work with it, too! I like that moving around can be really enriching, but it’s definitely not without its challenges!
I think you should just wear whatever you want; 90% of the time it's other people who make you feel uncomfortable because you are not conforming to what they want. I say to hell with that, ignore other people and keep being yourself and expressing yourself the way you want to. You have one life, don't spend it conforming to other peoples wants and expectations.
That's true where I live if you're dressed slightly different from the rest random people will talk to you on the streets just to be annoying of course you can do whatever you want but being at peace is the best, if you're going to a place where people are close minded it's hard to dress how you want if it's a little "different" but you can do in certain occasions
I used to feel bad about not "trying" quote-unquote. But I feel really confident in social settings when I'm dressed how I want, even if I don't fit in than I do if I'm perfectly appropriately dressed but wearing something I feel ugly in. So I just I've resolved to deal with comments from time to time about how much black I wear, or how professional I dress all the time.
😆😆😆 I really want to request a video on warm and muted colour palette for deeper skin tone with varied contrast. I loved your colour analysis it's simple and understandable however some times when I try to look at colours it gets harder 🌻Help ! Anyway thanks for this video 🌸
Good advice! It might not just be you but the environment! And I like looking at clothes as communication. We tone shift when we speak as well as dress.
I have this kind of feeling in summer. I’m a soft Classic and a winter. Light colours, large clothes, light fabrics just don’t fit me and every summer is a nightmare for me, I always not enhanced by my clothes
Hi, Merriam! Great point--but some visuals would've helped. Eg, casual in the city look vs casual in the country look on the same person, so we could actually see what you meant. 💕
Love this video. You nailed it. This is something I have been refining. For me it’s less the colors and more the level of dress. I think I prefer to be slightly less casual (and don’t look good in casual clothes). But I don’t like feeling unapproachable, or sticking out too much, which is what dressing up a bit more means in the two places I live, northern California and Paris, both places are quite homogenous in how people dress, in other words there is a ‘uniform’ I could easily adopt to fit in (Paris is actually pretty casual, more so than NY, though it’s more dresses and skirts). Yesterday sitting in a cafe I thought to myself, I want to stand out and find my own voice, but don’t want to stand out too much… I know, I seek not exactly echo, but harmony. I think of music or writing and how harmony is achieved through an element working with the environment (form, or other voices) rather than against or ignoring it. I still haven’t figured it out yet, but would love to hear from anyone who has achieved a harmony with their style and their environment…
I find my style is completely at odds with the climate of the place I live. I live in a cold rainy area, and my style is much more suited to a warmer place. I'd like to live somewhere where my biggest outfit decision is whether or not I need to take a cardigan. Mostly I'm in waterproofs and cosy underwear. Oh dear 😊xx
I related so much to this. I’ve lived in three very different regions and each time I’ve felt like I had to adjust. So true about it not being a matter of confidence. Polished but casual in one place felt like Moira Rose in another.
Hi Merriam, would you consider doing a video that takes us through the process of doing a body type and colour analysis, as you would do it, so that prospective clients can understand what’s involved?
Topics that I was wondering if you could speak on:- 1), Hair length with respect to Kibbe type. 2). Hair colour with respect to Colour Analysis. 3). Anything more on various essence.
This is a great topic! Climate also can be an issue - I live in a hot , humid climate but love fall and winter clothes. Merriam can you do a video on makeup recommendations for the different undertones?
I realize that this is an off-topic question, but I've seen so many wonderful comments in this thread that I'm sure somebody will have some insights!❤️. I'm a plump person, and even when I've lost a lot of weight I still have big b👀bs and a round tummy (sort of a preggie tummy). I tend to wear baggy clothes which I do find more comfortable, but I also feel it helps hide all the lumps and bumps. Then I see other larger women who wear very form-fitting clothes which kind of reveals all the lumps and bumps and to me they look just fine. Even more so, I see women of a particular age who probably were very slender and used to wear tight clothes, continuing to wear them as their body fills out later in life. Again, to me they look fine, but I'm very non-judgmental about how people look. I recently bought a t-shirt online that is very form-fitting and I'm not going to spend the money to return it, but I'm certain I would feel too uncomfortable wearing it Outdoors. It IS very pretty, though. Should I just not care? Or is it, in fact, not a good look? Maybe my opinion of it is skewed since - I like I mentioned - I don't judge other people on the way they look or dress. Thank you in advance! ☺️🌻
In the first place I would say wear what makes you feel comfortable. Secondly consider your whole frame, tall/short/broad? We often focus on bust/waist/hips but the bone structure of your body can make quite a difference as to what suits us in terms of fit and fabric choice. Like you I've started wearing looser clothes. I like that they're comfortable but they also seem to flatter my broader shoulders for example. I suggest getting someone to take some full length photos of you in different clothes and see what you think, sometimes it's easier to be objective when looking at a photo. Hope you enjoy your style journey 😊
Thank goodness I live in a place with a year tou d Spring climate so my colors work well here. ALso they are used to seeing American tourists in this country abroad...Boho and Western are always acceptable here as is everything I wear. I have a separate preppy traditional wardrobe to visit family in New England...
You could not have possibly read my mind more than you have in this video. I just moved to Florida from the northeast U.S. and I was just thinking about how Fall is my favorite season with all the sweaters, boots, and comfy layered clothing. None of which I can wear as it remains hot and humid for most of the year. I'm still trying to find what my style is in this new place.
Great video! I think adapting a bit to a new area can also go together with adapting to a new lifestyle that you have because of that new area. In a city you might not use a car anymore like you did in a rural area and now you're walking more between public transport and you feel your old shoes with heels not only look but feel too different and it's not comfortable.
Oh god, I relate so hard to this. I have occasionally been known to describe my desired aesthetic as "murder librarian femme," and I now work in an office where the unofficial uniform is grey trousers with your choice of 1. black sweater; 2. cream-beige sweater; 3. black Eileen Fisher tunic. (if you're feeling *racy,* you can wear a jewel-tone tunic with a long black cardigan over it, but not like every day.) I refuse to be assimilated, but it's *so* quietly depressing.
That's an interesting take on this issue. I solved this puzzle for myself relatively easily since I rarely bend to peer pressure. I just keep wearing whatever makes me feel like myself and still stand out in the current environment. Thankfully, I'm a blended type meaning that the worst people can think of my clothes is that they are either too fancy or too old-fashioned. But I'm never in danger of being seen as indecent with my clothing or in any way outrageous. I think some other types such as SD or FG can have a lot more difficulty fitting in into a very casual area without having to change half of their wardrobe.
@@lindasue8719 Soft Dramatic and Flamboyant Gamine. Merriam does not use Kibbe's terms for the types anymore but her system is similar, so I use these abbreviations because they're shorter.
As a TR that lives in a warm area, I don't get weird comments on the way I dress. But I traveled to an also warm area but quite conservative and got tons of slut shaming, because apparently shorts aren't a thing there. Moral of the story: never visit conservative places.
People often tell me that I am overdressed lmao, but I feel alright in my usual circle. But when I traveled to visit relatives, I was extremely slut shamed because apparently, shorts aren't a thing there. Also, I was very mistreated for having tattoos. I decided to never go back there.
I found this video so interesting - have been living with this problem for 7 years! We used to live in a university town (Oxford, England) and as a SD wore mostly jersey wrap dresses or a stretchy pencil skirt or indigo, straight jeans and jersey tops, what I felt was smart casual and good for my tall, hourglass shape, long bones. After retiring to Scottish highlands, wow, am I lost! Most women here wear check shirts, cut off trousers, man cut short grey hair and no make up at all. I feel dressed up in a casual wrap dress and short boots, going to someones house for a meal! I do not want to live in jeans and tidy ones here look overdressed. The normal wear for dressing up seems to be cotton tiered or dirndl skirts and baggy sweaters, as seen in Fatface, White Company, Boden and Joules. Its a certain dress down, middle class at play British look that sort of hangs off me and is too boho and fussy, believe me I have tried it. I was not particularly dressy before, never wore heels for example, only boots or sandals, but I need a degree of fitting in clothes and something a bit grown up looking, or look so frumpy and like a rag bag, help anyone, please!?
I grew up in a small northern Michigan town that is remarkably "red neck" for being in "the north" and my preferred style has always been more metropolitan or city like I would see in magazines. Which basically seems ridiculous and impractical here. Teen years were hard. Lol. Oddly now I'm much older and sort of embracing the "country" look just a wee bit more.
This is a problem for me because I was born raised in Coachella valley (rural desert) but moved to LA then the suburbs & spent many summers at my grandpas ranch or at the beach & I feel my personal style is all over the place because of all these factors… I like badic casual, city sleek, city street (la Is grimy) beach colorful, romantic/ country
Yesss I’ve lived in a few different places and always seen some type of change. But actually my most dramatic difference was when I studied abroad in France. I was a complete fashion disaster😅 ***However*** I ended up meeting my partner💕 who one day came up to me and said are you OK??? And I said yeah why and he said “this is the first time I’ve seen you when you weren’t wearing funny pants!” 😂😂😂😂
My style doesn't match where I live because I would like to wear dresses and skirts and it's very dangerous for women where I live xD So I'll dress up more masculine to avoid being harrassed/kidnapped/etc. It is not a 100% pass, but it helps you to not receive much attention...
Thought i was alone in my sentiments about this!!! esp lately, i've been thinking about how i'm not prepared for fall. i hate fall/winter cuz i love summer and spring and wearing sexy, flirty dresses!! i live in canada so it really ruins my vibe.
It really sucks that we have to worry about how our clothes fit in according to other people AT ALL. Nothing could be less important than one's clothing when it comes to judging the character of a person. Rules about what is appropriate, whether it's in business or one's particular society, these are all uniforms and it's nonsense. The human race has such a long way to grow up... Sometimes I despair...
My sentiments exactly. Well said. Just wear what you want to wear and wear it with confidence. The best thing one could wear is a smile. So no matter what you wear, remember to SMILE❤️ THAT'S WHAT'S MOST BEAUTIFUL ABOUT YOU❤️
I want to wear simple, long, dark colored skirts. While it's not something outrageous or frowned upon it will inevitably stand out as weirdly too formal. Where I live you'd win the lotery before you see someone wearing anything but jeans and a brightly colored shirt, and if you do it's probably minishorts and crop tops, so the opposite of what I'm going for here 😅
Interesting topic! I have a question regarding the email I sent you. Im not sure if you replied to it but it concerned beveled-soft hair. Do beveled soft look better with a middle part or center part? As for hair color, do beveled-soft look better with an overall process or just highlights? Thanks again!
This is so me lol in my area people dress down a lot they only dress up or get really dressy when they’re going out to special event!! Me on the other hand I like to dress up just to go to the store or run errands people find it so weird but I’m like this I’m definitely not in the right city! I live in West Palm Beach Florida by the way😂😂😂😂
Great advice. My sister and I talk often about how differently we dress when going out in the suburbs compared with going out in the city. An outfit that says "I'm a little bit quirky" in the city says "I'm going to a Halloween party" in the suburbs.
😆. Very very true.
Agreed
I find myself wanting to rebel slightly to what ever place I live. 😅 When I lived in an artistic city, I choose more conservative items and when I lived in a conservative city, I dressed more provocatively. Now I live in an ultra casual, rural small town and dress up more. I guess being mildly rebellious with my style is what makes me feel most like myself. ❤️ Super interesting video!
Same for me, but in the way that I don't dress any differently, no matter where I live. My style is my style and you'll catch me rocking dark lipstick or whatever anywhere - the city, a small village, at the beach, at the supermarket... I don't care 😀
In Jordan petersens personality test you’d likely score high in Disagreeableness, it’s a necessary role in society, especially with value of agreeableness declining as the world changes. Look into it. ❤
@@MrsPaulaTorres "Jordan Peterson's" personality test is really just something known as the "Five Factor Model" developed in tbe 80s by Lewis Goldberg. It's also known as the OCEAN tool. It has strengths and limitations, so look into it. You don't have to take the test through Jordan Peterson to find out about yourself in terms of these personality qualities. You can probably find a free test online. I would personally look more towards those original sources than J.P.
Love it! 🥰 As a Soft Dramatic but also a practising Muslim in Pakistan, none of the SD pinterest boards work for me! I can’t expose my neckline area, can’t wear short sleeves that highlight my ‘T’, nor are high-waisted jeans an option. Good thing is Pakistan has its own vibrant fashion culture & a massive eastern clothing industry w lots of variation in details. You can always find a desi dress that works for you, customising necklines sleeves hemlines and waists to your liking is the norm. Letting go of Pinterest envy is important sometimes haha
i agree, these outfits you describe sound so beautiful and unique.
That was such a relatable and interesting comment. As a Brazilian Soft Dramatic I don't face the same dilemmas but when I consume a lot of American inspo relating to my Kibbe ID I notice that the uber glamorous satin slip dresses and off the shoulder tops are not really an option for me either and they also don't really relate to my lifestyle [I'm not religious but I could say I'm more conservative in my outfits than the average Brazilian woman because it makes me feel more comfortable in public]. However, I learned enough to start incorporating elements of that ''queenly persona'' that I relate so much in the color palette I stick to, the jewelry I wear, etc. Also, desi attire has gotta be one of the most beautiful traditional clothing in the whole world so I have my own kind of envy of those who can dress like that every day, it's amazing and you are really lucky, girl
For the too reveling American necklines and short sleeves, it's the same effect whether it's fabric on skin, fabric on fabric, or a change on the printed patterns. You can try to create the same visual with no skin involved.
I totally agree with the letting go on Pinterest envy thing. sometimes outfits that are promoted on there may not even look good on us or suit our needs realistically. I'd always see cute outfits on there and wish I could dress like them but now I've realised that envy is never going to end because Pinterest just shows more and more outfits that I wont necessarily buy or have reason to buy lol
There is a wealthy arab woman who is soft dramatic, yet modest in dress.
I'm 60 and I don't care. I live in an area that is cowboy/lumberjack/hiker/pajama pants slob in style and I am definitely Not. I dress well. I have been here for 20 years and everyone I know expects me after all this time to be dressed well. I actually wore something out of character once as an experiment, and everyone was like what happened? are you well? 🙂😆😏
You nailed this so perfectly!!! I have wrestled with this a lot as a military wife. You've really articulated this challenge so well, I totally agree that it isn't about insecurity but it's about communication. We don't express ourselves in a vacuum, therefore we are communicating information about who we are. I feel more content and clear about myself when there is harmony between me, functionality, and my environment.
I think the decor in your home also has an effect on this "out of place" feeling. If you have a farmhouse style in your home, but you live in manhattan, your outfit might look completely different when you're getting dressed v.s when you're outside. The background is very important. I learned this when I used to work on the window displays at my old job. The items you put in the background affected how attractive the outfit looks.
I suggest you pick an area to get dressed in that looks neutral. I placed my floor-length mirror across an empty white wall so nothing clashed with my outfit. Also, try to have some more neutral lights instead of warm lights or super cool lights. This not only affects your outfit.
Great advice, thank you!
My style doesn't fit with my area and my life. I like to be classic, dressy and my town, friends and being a mum, are all casual. In that case, I started to incorporate activities that require the upgraded style. And I also try to go only one step above to what everyone else is wearing, so I don't feel so out of place.
I can relate! It feels like dimming one’s shine, which is a pitty.
Oh boy was this a problem for me when I lived in Norway and Germany. I couldn’t even find clothing FOR me in Norway. Everything was for naturals. Everything was for athletic outdoor life. I don’t know if it’s changed but I was so uncomfortable and ugly in it.
😄😂🙈🌸🌺🎨💎 yeesss…so true _ greetz from Germany 😄🙋♀️ as a romantic with extravagant aspects and as deep winter with intense colours, oh boy - sometimes it can be tricky, especially when you walk your dog (and you can not and will not dress 👗 like a 50‘s glamourous night out 😂💎👗) I feel it took me aaagggesss to find something in the direction of „appropriate“ when going out in nature and still challenges me…while for others „just a t-shirt and sport leggings“ works so fine…
I feel it is still the case - especially that „not looking good in the athletic outdoor staff“ and! please don’t be to loud in colours or be to feminine when you are not 1,80 m and thin (please by no way any offense to this kind of beautiful women) - it is like a puzzle 🧩 but doable and worth it once you find your way to your Stil (even if some people more in the countryside have to become more and more familiar with colours and different styles 😂😂😂🎨🌸🌺)
Oh I feel you. I have a middle east TR body living in Sweden. I love the Scandinavian aesthetic, but it just doesn't work for me at all! I look so odd. Finding clothes is a challenge. There are some "ok" brands but I end up ordering from abroad sometimes.
Living in Germany in a small village this has always been a struggle for me! I always felt like i was being ‘too much’ but now I’m gradually learning to just live out my authentic style. I mean we love going grocery shopping in borderline wedding guest dresses 😂👏🏻✨🧚🏻♀️ But i also recently recognized that outfits that would look ‘extremely dressed up’ on other people look quite normal on me haha and people see your personality that lies beneath anyway so might as well show it also on the outside.
Saaaaame. I used to think I was a SN and a soft autumn. So I should have looked good in Scandinavia where I lived too. It turns out that I am a dark autumn and a petite, TR. I look finally myself with sparkles and glamourous styles. I looked like the shadow of myself up there. For years.
Yes this makes total sense. Where I live in Canada black is our "national colour". Every season, day or night, every occasion. Black is thought of a sexy, confident, slimming and elegant. A few years ago a friend of mine who always wears black, black and more black and she looks amazing in black took a vacation to Italy. While there she learned that black is mostly worn by women who's husband has passed away. People were actually approaching her to offer her sympathy, support and condolences. When she returned home back to Canada you can be assured that her basically black wardrobe was given the boot. Even though black looks amazing on her she now does not want to wear it anymore. So this video really explains that issue. Thanks.
I could never give up my beloved dark colors. Black or navy head to toe all day! 😀
It's a shame that people make false assumptions about you if you dress at a different level to them, but they do. I am treated with more respect at the office wearing a black jacket than a green cardigan, and at the local market stall holders are friendlier if I wear the cardigan. I have one half of my wardrobe in softer natural colours and styles for where I live in the countryside, and the other half in crisper stronger colours and styles for the office, travel and cities.
It’s especially difficult to have an outfit for every occasion when you prefer being a minimalist. I suppose i just have to work harder at making my personality suit the occasion instead of my outfit.
@@spontaneousjane depends on how you see minimalism? Because I think you're right if you see it as having fewer things, while you could also see it as having only what you need and in that second case having different sets of clothes because you feel (and are treater) better in different situations could be seen as having what you need an therefore fit into minimalism.
Great video! I just moved from nyc to MD and I’ve noticed that I am gravitating towards different colors in my wardrobe.
I notice the difference so much when going to visit family in Cyprus from the UK. Not just the temperature difference but the light and the difference in lifestyle makes it impossible for me to feel right in the same clothes. In Cyprus i want to wear brighter, clearer colours whereas in the UK I like to have everything muted and quieter.
Could you tackle dressing for a season that isn't naturally in your lines? For example I live in a cold climate but I'm a rounded body type and I struggle with wearing thick warm material and coats etc. Thanks!xx
Sorry for sticking in, the question is interesting. Did you try to wear wrap-style coats? I also found it comfortable to layer winter clothing (I might say that I am also rounded, even overweight). For example a hoodie, a sturdy denim jacket and pretty thin woolen winter coat with length below the knee make me super warm and also beautiful! And I live in Belarus, where we casually have -15C at winters.
Very interesting question and I look forward to the input! I'm also plump and it's really hard to feel happy about having to wear warm clothing that adds a good 6in (or more) to one's circumference.
As a rounded body type in Canada, I know your pain. T__T
Weirdly enough, the best fit I found are lolita style winter coats. As for more mainstream stores, wool coats will look better than padded down ones. Look for furry details, which will soften lines.
@@mariannerichard1321 yeah or maybe something that reflects light would look less massive,
Yes! It's so difficult to find suitable rounded body type coats in the shops as oversized clothing has been in fashion for a while. Plus a lot of things are in black which make me look ill (light, soft and warm colouring here). It took me 2 years to find a winter wool coat and I ended up settling for something as I was desperate at that point.
This was such a great video! I have a pretty extreme gothic style and just moved to a smaller city this summer, I’ve been in complete shock. Where I used to live, no one ever cared what I looked like…but now, I am a fish out of water. I won’t change my aesthetic, but I have avoided some of my heavier looks (platform boots, chains, bizarre avant-garde pieces). I have been trying to integrate in more casual pieces like leggings, t shirts, and even bought my first pair of sneakers in ages. I have been having a full on identity crisis lol
Brilliant video! I love how analytical you are. If I could watch only one style-related channel it would be yours. I always dressed well, but watching your videos took it on another level.
I lived in several countries, and I travel a lot, but I never understood why something I wear feels amazing in one place and not that great in another. Thank you so much for explaining! I hope UA-cam algorithm will pick up your channel, you deserve a huge audience!
Very brilliant! I wish I could find more channels like this!
Very helpful, I think I had to adjust my style when I went from being a professional in a big city to a professional in a small city to a parent in a small city. Lifestyle factors certainly had a big part to play, also mixing favourite pieces with newer pieces to create a new version of my style, but that still felt like me.
I totally can relate to this topic. ♡ Depending on the situation, I handle this matter with a mix of 1) assimilation, recognizing the influence our environment can have on us and 2) challenging those standards in my own way which in turn can inspire others and potentially influence them. I have a similar philosophy when I move a new space, apartment/house. I ask 2 questions, what is most fitting for this space? and what do I like. I subsequently make my decorating decisions with those things in mind and the result is a beautiful and harmonious environment. (as long as I clear out the clutter lol)
Such a thought-provoking way of looking at this topic (which I want to ponder in relationship to my own experience)!
I’ve moved frequently (7 regions overseas and 9 distinct cultures in the US) and notice that I don’t feel comfortable until I find a way of looking more like whatever culture I’m in (usually = shopping locally, at least for a few pieces). That has made my wardrobe kind of complicated (since I would like to own fewer things and I also don’t want to spend/consume a ton… and I get sentimental, as my clothes serve as reminders of my life experiences in certain places).
I struggle when I live some place where I don’t really like the style ~ so I don’t want to adjust my style to fit in (eg, where things are more casual, less artistic, less fitted or style-conscious in general). I’m moving next month to a place where I suspect this will be the case (though it has other benefits!).
It feels like my identity shifts/adjusts a lot - and that really is represented through clothing! - so I struggle to have a firm concept of who I am (vs who I am for the year or two when I live in a new place) and how I might want to present myself. I’m very curious to attempt to understand myself in relation to the points you brought up (ie, my level of dress compared to peers). I’m wondering how I could not stand out too much without compromising what I already own and enjoy wearing.
If you’ve made it through this very long comment 😜, I’d love to hear any further advice you might have! Thanks for always making such great videos (and also for the advice you gave me when you typed me ~ 2 years ago ☺️ it has been really helpful - especially the color recommendations!)!
I relate to this comment and experience so much I feel like I wrote it. 😑✨
@@MassielMancebo I hope you find a good way to work with it, too! I like that moving around can be really enriching, but it’s definitely not without its challenges!
I think you should just wear whatever you want; 90% of the time it's other people who make you feel uncomfortable because you are not conforming to what they want. I say to hell with that, ignore other people and keep being yourself and expressing yourself the way you want to. You have one life, don't spend it conforming to other peoples wants and expectations.
Not only are we expressing one self but....paying compliment to the clothing designer as well...so i appreciate the designer as well as the sewist....
That's true where I live if you're dressed slightly different from the rest random people will talk to you on the streets just to be annoying of course you can do whatever you want but being at peace is the best, if you're going to a place where people are close minded it's hard to dress how you want if it's a little "different" but you can do in certain occasions
I used to feel bad about not "trying" quote-unquote. But I feel really confident in social settings when I'm dressed how I want, even if I don't fit in than I do if I'm perfectly appropriately dressed but wearing something I feel ugly in. So I just I've resolved to deal with comments from time to time about how much black I wear, or how professional I dress all the time.
Yay! This morning I was just looking over my analysis and thought, "I haven't seen a Merriam video in a while." And, boom, there it was!
😆😆😆 I really want to request a video on warm and muted colour palette for deeper skin tone with varied contrast. I loved your colour analysis it's simple and understandable however some times when I try to look at colours it gets harder
🌻Help ! Anyway thanks for this video 🌸
Good advice! It might not just be you but the environment! And I like looking at clothes as communication. We tone shift when we speak as well as dress.
I have this kind of feeling in summer. I’m a soft Classic and a winter. Light colours, large clothes, light fabrics just don’t fit me and every summer is a nightmare for me, I always not enhanced by my clothes
This is good advice. I really don’t like to draw attention to myself.
Hi, Merriam! Great point--but some visuals would've helped. Eg, casual in the city look vs casual in the country look on the same person, so we could actually see what you meant. 💕
Beautiful tender bunch of flowers 💐 💖
Those flowers are pretty. Thank you for putting them in view. I would put flowers around more but can't ever seem to make it look nice in a vase.
Love this video. You nailed it. This is something I have been refining. For me it’s less the colors and more the level of dress. I think I prefer to be slightly less casual (and don’t look good in casual clothes). But I don’t like feeling unapproachable, or sticking out too much, which is what dressing up a bit more means in the two places I live, northern California and Paris, both places are quite homogenous in how people dress, in other words there is a ‘uniform’ I could easily adopt to fit in (Paris is actually pretty casual, more so than NY, though it’s more dresses and skirts). Yesterday sitting in a cafe I thought to myself, I want to stand out and find my own voice, but don’t want to stand out too much… I know, I seek not exactly echo, but harmony. I think of music or writing and how harmony is achieved through an element working with the environment (form, or other voices) rather than against or ignoring it. I still haven’t figured it out yet, but would love to hear from anyone who has achieved a harmony with their style and their environment…
I find my style is completely at odds with the climate of the place I live. I live in a cold rainy area, and my style is much more suited to a warmer place. I'd like to live somewhere where my biggest outfit decision is whether or not I need to take a cardigan. Mostly I'm in waterproofs and cosy underwear. Oh dear 😊xx
I related so much to this. I’ve lived in three very different regions and each time I’ve felt like I had to adjust. So true about it not being a matter of confidence. Polished but casual in one place felt like Moira Rose in another.
Hi Merriam, would you consider doing a video that takes us through the process of doing a body type and colour analysis, as you would do it, so that prospective clients can understand what’s involved?
Topics that I was wondering if you could speak on:-
1), Hair length with respect to Kibbe type.
2). Hair colour with respect to Colour Analysis.
3). Anything more on various essence.
This is a great topic! Climate also can be an issue - I live in a hot , humid climate but love fall and winter clothes. Merriam can you do a video on makeup recommendations for the different undertones?
I realize that this is an off-topic question, but I've seen so many wonderful comments in this thread that I'm sure somebody will have some insights!❤️. I'm a plump person, and even when I've lost a lot of weight I still have big b👀bs and a round tummy (sort of a preggie tummy).
I tend to wear baggy clothes which I do find more comfortable, but I also feel it helps hide all the lumps and bumps.
Then I see other larger women who wear very form-fitting clothes which kind of reveals all the lumps and bumps and to me they look just fine.
Even more so, I see women of a particular age who probably were very slender and used to wear tight clothes, continuing to wear them as their body fills out later in life. Again, to me they look fine, but I'm very non-judgmental about how people look.
I recently bought a t-shirt online that is very form-fitting and I'm not going to spend the money to return it, but I'm certain I would feel too uncomfortable wearing it Outdoors. It IS very pretty, though.
Should I just not care? Or is it, in fact, not a good look?
Maybe my opinion of it is skewed since - I like I mentioned - I don't judge other people on the way they look or dress.
Thank you in advance! ☺️🌻
In the first place I would say wear what makes you feel comfortable. Secondly consider your whole frame, tall/short/broad? We often focus on bust/waist/hips but the bone structure of your body can make quite a difference as to what suits us in terms of fit and fabric choice. Like you I've started wearing looser clothes. I like that they're comfortable but they also seem to flatter my broader shoulders for example. I suggest getting someone to take some full length photos of you in different clothes and see what you think, sometimes it's easier to be objective when looking at a photo. Hope you enjoy your style journey 😊
This was brilliant as your videos always are. I like to dress formally without drawing too much attention to myself so I always slightly overdress.
Goodness me!I asked myself that every time I walk on the street! thank you so much 😂😘
Thank goodness I live in a place with a year tou d Spring climate so my colors work well here. ALso they are used to seeing American tourists in this country abroad...Boho and Western are always acceptable here as is everything I wear. I have a separate preppy traditional wardrobe to visit family in New England...
You look so stunning in this ingenuish-etherealish kind of styles, so unique!
This is so interesting! I've never thought about level of dress before but it totally makes sense! Great video x
You could not have possibly read my mind more than you have in this video. I just moved to Florida from the northeast U.S. and I was just thinking about how Fall is my favorite season with all the sweaters, boots, and comfy layered clothing. None of which I can wear as it remains hot and humid for most of the year. I'm still trying to find what my style is in this new place.
Great video! I think adapting a bit to a new area can also go together with adapting to a new lifestyle that you have because of that new area. In a city you might not use a car anymore like you did in a rural area and now you're walking more between public transport and you feel your old shoes with heels not only look but feel too different and it's not comfortable.
Oh god, I relate so hard to this. I have occasionally been known to describe my desired aesthetic as "murder librarian femme," and I now work in an office where the unofficial uniform is grey trousers with your choice of 1. black sweater; 2. cream-beige sweater; 3. black Eileen Fisher tunic. (if you're feeling *racy,* you can wear a jewel-tone tunic with a long black cardigan over it, but not like every day.) I refuse to be assimilated, but it's *so* quietly depressing.
That's an interesting take on this issue.
I solved this puzzle for myself relatively easily since I rarely bend to peer pressure. I just keep wearing whatever makes me feel like myself and still stand out in the current environment. Thankfully, I'm a blended type meaning that the worst people can think of my clothes is that they are either too fancy or too old-fashioned. But I'm never in danger of being seen as indecent with my clothing or in any way outrageous. I think some other types such as SD or FG can have a lot more difficulty fitting in into a very casual area without having to change half of their wardrobe.
If I may ask, what are the acronyms SD and FG?
@@lindasue8719 Soft Dramatic and Flamboyant Gamine. Merriam does not use Kibbe's terms for the types anymore but her system is similar, so I use these abbreviations because they're shorter.
As a TR that lives in a warm area, I don't get weird comments on the way I dress. But I traveled to an also warm area but quite conservative and got tons of slut shaming, because apparently shorts aren't a thing there. Moral of the story: never visit conservative places.
People often tell me that I am overdressed lmao, but I feel alright in my usual circle. But when I traveled to visit relatives, I was extremely slut shamed because apparently, shorts aren't a thing there. Also, I was very mistreated for having tattoos. I decided to never go back there.
I found this video so interesting - have been living with this problem for 7 years! We used to live in a university town (Oxford, England) and as a SD wore mostly jersey wrap dresses or a stretchy pencil skirt or indigo, straight jeans and jersey tops, what I felt was smart casual and good for my tall, hourglass shape, long bones. After retiring to Scottish highlands, wow, am I lost! Most women here wear check shirts, cut off trousers, man cut short grey hair and no make up at all. I feel dressed up in a casual wrap dress and short boots, going to someones house for a meal! I do not want to live in jeans and tidy ones here look overdressed. The normal wear for dressing up seems to be cotton tiered or dirndl skirts and baggy sweaters, as seen in Fatface, White Company, Boden and Joules. Its a certain dress down, middle class at play British look that sort of hangs off me and is too boho and fussy, believe me I have tried it. I was not particularly dressy before, never wore heels for example, only boots or sandals, but I need a degree of fitting in clothes and something a bit grown up looking, or look so frumpy and like a rag bag, help anyone, please!?
I grew up in a small northern Michigan town that is remarkably "red neck" for being in "the north" and my preferred style has always been more metropolitan or city like I would see in magazines. Which basically seems ridiculous and impractical here. Teen years were hard. Lol.
Oddly now I'm much older and sort of embracing the "country" look just a wee bit more.
This is a problem for me because I was born raised in Coachella valley (rural desert) but moved to LA then the suburbs & spent many summers at my grandpas ranch or at the beach & I feel my personal style is all over the place because of all these factors… I like badic casual, city sleek, city street (la Is grimy) beach colorful, romantic/ country
Yesss I’ve lived in a few different places and always seen some type of change. But actually my most dramatic difference was when I studied abroad in France. I was a complete fashion disaster😅 ***However*** I ended up meeting my partner💕 who one day came up to me and said are you OK??? And I said yeah why and he said “this is the first time I’ve seen you when you weren’t wearing funny pants!” 😂😂😂😂
My problem is my body type and personal style don't match my lifestyle/job (SD )
My style doesn't match where I live because I would like to wear dresses and skirts and it's very dangerous for women where I live xD So I'll dress up more masculine to avoid being harrassed/kidnapped/etc. It is not a 100% pass, but it helps you to not receive much attention...
Thought i was alone in my sentiments about this!!! esp lately, i've been thinking about how i'm not prepared for fall. i hate fall/winter cuz i love summer and spring and wearing sexy, flirty dresses!! i live in canada so it really ruins my vibe.
It really sucks that we have to worry about how our clothes fit in according to other people AT ALL. Nothing could be less important than one's clothing when it comes to judging the character of a person. Rules about what is appropriate, whether it's in business or one's particular society, these are all uniforms and it's nonsense.
The human race has such a long way to grow up... Sometimes I despair...
My sentiments exactly. Well said. Just wear what you want to wear and wear it with confidence. The best thing one could wear is a smile. So no matter what you wear, remember to SMILE❤️ THAT'S WHAT'S MOST BEAUTIFUL ABOUT YOU❤️
Great video!
I want to wear simple, long, dark colored skirts. While it's not something outrageous or frowned upon it will inevitably stand out as weirdly too formal.
Where I live you'd win the lotery before you see someone wearing anything but jeans and a brightly colored shirt, and if you do it's probably minishorts and crop tops, so the opposite of what I'm going for here 😅
Well thought out as always!
Interesting topic! I have a question regarding the email I sent you. Im not sure if you replied to it but it concerned beveled-soft hair.
Do beveled soft look better with a middle part or center part?
As for hair color, do beveled-soft look better with an overall process or just highlights?
Thanks again!
Excuse me???? You're so cute?????? In this video I could fully appreciate your complexion and coloration in general. Keep up the good work ❤️
this hair length suits you it makes you prettier
This is so me lol in my area people dress down a lot they only dress up or get really dressy when they’re going out to special event!!
Me on the other hand I like to dress up just to go to the store or run errands people find it so weird but I’m like this I’m definitely not in the right city! I live in West Palm Beach Florida by the way😂😂😂😂
That happened to me when I moved from N.Y. to N.C. I felt like an alien.
I needed this because I moved to Australia and seems everyone just wear shorts and thongs (flip flops) lol I need to dress down.
Here from universe guru!
How you ever thought about doing ASMR? You'd genuinely be perfect for it. You're already borderline making it.
What would Rounded Mixed be in Kibbe type?
For the algorithm
I'm a soft classic I live in a low-income at
Hi merriam dear💓💓💓
Hahaha 👌