My best friend from middle school committed suicide yesterday. We both hit 30 earlier in September. He said he felt he could never escape poverty and that he’s always going to be a loser like his addict mom and dad who was in prison all of his life. His name was Ryan T. I wish I could have shown him this video, he needed to see a down to earth person say what you were saying in this video.
I'm sorry to hear about Ryan. Not trying to make it about me but I just have to say that this really moved me. I'm 31, this time last year I was really at the point where life was changing drastically and I knew I was either going to make it or end my life. I just know what it feels to be literally exactly that age and really feel like nothing is ever going to change, like I REALLY get that. I know that you're probably thinking "yeah dude you know what it's like to be sad, I get it" but I just want you to know that like i really do. I'm sorry your friend wasn't able to make it. RIP Ryan.
@@the_panosnot true. You can always plan ahead bro. Dont use "development" as an excuse. You do know that the way you think will either help or hinder your development. Think and act like an adult and everything else happens around that.
One of the most POSITIVE , adult , no bs , take responsibility for yourself and your actions video lessons I've ever seen on the internet. You're a good man , Finn McKenty.
At 31 after wasting all of my 20s on chasing a career in theatre/acting I'm now on my way into a career in construction. I've felt very insecure about this initially but seeing this video and knowing I'm following most of this advice already is very reassuring. Thanks for this one Finn 🤙
I was lucky enough to get into a skilled trade at 18, I now sit in my basement all day designing electrical systems listening to music, watching movies, and making over $120k a year plus all my union benefits on top of that. Not a single college credit to my name.
I kind went the same way as you, I am only 40 and have 20 years in the HVAC union, I can retire at 55. I also fucked up a lot in my 30s - It was like all the shit i was too scared to try in my 20s I tried in my 30s but I never missed a day of work even though I was into heroin for 3 years. But I was able to kick it and fire back on all cylinders @@ryanbrown1789
@@ryanbrown1789 College is SOOOO overrated. Especially today. Community college or online learning is where it's at. If I had it to do all over again, I would've chosen a trade, then done my art/music on the side.
@@perfectallycromulent oh I believe the data, but not everyone wants a four year degree. Some want to learn a trade, some want to get a two year assoc. degree from community college so they can start working immediately. Most of what I learned in college I could’ve gotten with a two-year degree. The data only applies to people who WANT to attend college.
As I’m nearing 40 I found this incredibly validating. I’m exhausted from leveling up and I’m ready to coast into my 40’s so I can start enjoying it. Getting married, having two kids, getting multiple promotions, clearing debt, saving for retirement and staying fit has been the best hustle of my life. Everything said here is 100% true. Worth it.
I fucked up my 30ies badly, I was an immature loser and wasted precious years that I will never get back. I managed to get my s*it together in my 40ies though and enjoyed life more than ever since. I'm 48 now, a happy man running my own business and doing the things I like most with a nice gf next to me. Bottom line, it's never too late to change and give your life a meaning.
I could definitely have done my 30s better. Partied my 20s away, and I’ve been raising a family in my 30s but stuck in meaningless chef jobs. I’m 38 now, and just bought a food truck. Been cooking 20 years and dreaming of self-employment, finally decided to make it happen.
From 14 to 38 I was never sober most days. I started smoking chronic weed daily when I was 14 before gradually moving on to hard drugs. I look back to my teenage years and 20s and realize how many potential romantic relationships I could have had with attractive women but instead I was getting stoned or high on a couch somewhere with some of my guys friends.
This is solid advice. I unfortunately wasted my 30’s being a pot head and a drunk. I turned 40 a few months ago and now I’m going back to college for a Library and Information degree and I quit drinking and drugging at 39. Watching Finn’s videos was a big part of that. I wish I had seen a video like this years ago and started the process of getting my shit together earlier but I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life and I’m hopeful for the future for the first time. Thanks for being a positive influence on my life Finn, please keep putting messages like this in your videos. It does help people who are willing to listen. Much love brother, keep up the awesome work.
I went back to school a year and a half ago at 32, and I just turned 34 a few weeks ago… It’s been a struggle, but working a full time job while actively chasing my dreams for me is way better than stewing in misery at a job I hated in my 20s. I put off relationships because I was too fucked up to be in one. I’m blessed that I have the same friends I’ve had since I was 14. Eventually, I would like to get married. But I’ve got a lot of shit to take care of first. Lucky I got out the rut I’ve been in for so long, and can actually TALK TO WOMEN again.
Completely understand that position… It’s impossible to meet the person you would like to marry in the places you know you’re not supposed to be. In life and of the physical space.
Im 43 and just met my wife 3 years ago and ultimately it took me getting away from a go no where career and getting away from those people not heading in the same direction.
this sounds a lot like me. No point in trying to get in relationships when you aren't really ready to be in one. My high school friends are the only thing that has kept me going a lot of times.
I turned 35 four days ago and I'm doing a lot of self-reflection these days, so this hits close to home. Thank you, Finn. Being disabled, not all of your tips apply to me but some of it does and I'm definitely too much living and also thinking like a 25-year-old still.
Don't be afraid to try things you aren't confident about. I wasted a lot of potential by assuming I was less capable than I was due to medical problems. Not to downplay disability though, I don't mean it like that. I just mean that we all have value and ways to contribute to making our own and others lives better, and there are always opportunities to improve that. Good luck to you
I’m an 18 year old in my senior year of high school and I already got stuck in that “i’m a loser” mentality. Thanks for the wake up call Finn, this really made me feel more motivated. Love all your videos man, keep it up 💩💩
Hell yeah dude. You’re not a loser. Your are simply what you do. You have absolutely no obligation to do what you did last week, yesterday, or even one minute ago. Every human life is inherently valuable. You are valuable. And you can build the life you want to live. Best of luck dude!
Homey - you're not a loser; you're practically a blank slate. You can do almost anything you want at this point - the options are nearly endless. Go attack your life!!
Focusing on negative self talk was really good. There’s a fine line between self reflection and just beating yourself up sometimes, and the intensity of social media these days can inflame that thinking. Losing a friend this year to senseless violence made my think more about mortality, you are not the main character, not everyone is out to get you.
As a 31 year old stuck in a rut. . I really needed to hear this. I didn’t become focused on my goals until my mid 20s, always a failure since elementary school lost in La La land in my mind day dreaming and what not. When I finally focused, I surprised myself and excelled in my studies. It felt great. Once I got my nursing license and landed a job at a huge hospital in Chicago, mid pandemic, I felt that burnout hit almost instantly. Got my heart broken a couple times and lost my momentum. It’s been 2 years that I’ve been stuck at this “plateau”, looking back at how I used to be- energy wise, health wise and lifestyle wise.. I turn 32 in a month, and haven’t felt that motivation since 28. This video was a wake up call. As a female I’m conditioned to believe that life ends and you are basically worthless if you hit 30 and are unmarried / childless. Thank you for this reminder that I have still have time to be what I always thoughts I could be. Sorry for the cheeesy rant 😅
Im in my late 20's now and thank you for sharing finn. I have 2 young kids and am married but struggled with alcoholism and depression for years, struggled to get sober since my first was born in 2019. The ultimatum was when my alcoholism and porn addiction was so bad that my marriage was about finished but pulled it together. Stopped drinking october 1st 2023 and not looking back. Thanks papa finn
This is a great video. I'm 35 and I actually just started going to the gym again this week. Your videos are great for listening to while working out. Addiction runs in my family and I'm trying my best to break the cycle. Been sober so many times but always seem to go back to it. I'm hoping it sticks this time. Been sober for almost a month now 💪
These videos are always my favourite, always happy to see Finn pump one of these out every so often. Your video about addiction over the summer helped me quit weed.
37, just divorced after a 12 year marriage, just left my dream job I worked for 11 years. Both of these deteriorated to a state I hated myself and I saw no return from any of my efforts. Now I feel my time with my kid is of so much higher quality, I started my own business and it's going great, and I have the time to care about my health which luckily has been good so far. All these good and bad things happen and are just the way life goes, and if this life is the only chance I have, why not just make things good? Thank you for this video!
I had written a similar comment before seeing you two's. I had a similar thing happen. I am still happy to have buckled down in my late mid 20's to early 30's even though the first wife and job are gone. I ended up leveling up again. I do not believe that would be possible if I hadn't done the work back then.
Thanks for this Finn. It really encourages me to keep going. I'm 34, work in IT, married almost 5 years and have 2 great kids but one thing I've really neglected is my health, especially since I started work in IT. This past summer I started taking it more seriously once I discovered I hit 250 lbs (heavy for my height and age) so I've been going on walks on my lunch break, 25 push ups and 100 jumping jacks every night. Also, a calorie deficit works. Just telling myself not to get a second helping at dinner really worked for me. It isn't much but I feel better than I have in a long time. I feel more disciplined than I did in my 20's. I'm down 6 pounds, hope to loose more this next year!
Finn, I’ve just had the worst week of my life, soon to turn 27 and thought that my life was over , but this video is exactly what I needed to hear right now so thank you so much and have a happy new year !
I was a homeless alcoholic/drug addict 5 years ago. Now I’m 29, sober, and have a solid career as a counsellor. The reason that happened is because I had to take a serious look at all of these things and do what I could to change them. There will always be things that I can’t control, but I can always control my reaction to these things. You’re worth the effort you put into your life.
Great video Finn, I've been following you for years. I'm about to turn 32 in a month. Debt free, got two kids, finally making enough money to afford the finer things in life. Been married for 8 years, been in bands from 2005 until 2020, toured, recorded did it all on a semi pro level. I gave up this lifestyle a few months before Covid hit. Best decision I ever made, I missed out on so many things for 15 years, coz I was so obsessed and focused on, wanting to make it in the music business. Damn it feels great to be a ''normie''. I love my family, my job, and I was always into cars, even before music. Now I can enjoy all the things I like, and not have to chase a dream which will never happen, especially here in Europe. Would be rad to meet and just talk in person once. Happy new year and keep this up!
This is actually all very solid advice, Finn. Appreciate it man. Sorry about your mom. My mom had a pretty rough and similar upbringing and she is also very troubled, and so am I by extension. Thanks for sharing.
i went to rehab for the first time at 19 and didnt get sober til 24. im 27 now and for awhile i felt i missed out on my 20’s, but really i prepared myself for my 30’s and onwards early. it may have not been as fun or crazy as i was earlier, but im alive and stable. i can offer people things and build towards a future i can be proud of. and thats something i never thought id have. everything you spoke in this video was on the nose Finn
I lost my 30s to heavy alcohol and drug addiction. It’s literally a 10 year blank spot. It’s taken a lot of therapy to get over that. Now 40 years old, clean and sober and working on improving myself and taking my life back ❤
Thank you Finn for sharing your story with us! As a recovering addict born to a dysfunctional family, I appreciate this video more than words can describe. My 20’s were a hot mess, now I’m approaching 40, and I have to say that I am proud of the little achievements that I made. Be well, and have a safe and happy new year 🎆🎊🎆
I entered my 30s with a "I still have plenty of time to do it later" mindset. I was desperate to stay young and culturally relevent. This caused me to waste a lot of time on things that did not better my life, hang with a younger crew, stagnate in my career and kept me connected to toxic people. Only bonus was that I had a solid career and a loyal/hard working Girlfriend but I was coasting through life. I remember one day going on Facebook(which I rarely did/do) and seeing where my peers from HS were at in life. This lit a fire under me. I finally got married at 34, cut out toxic people, exercised, focused my time on beneficial things and started a business(in my career field). Took 2 years of struggle but then I started thriving in all aspects of life. Just know that it is never too late but life gives you what you are willing to put into it. "Getting old" may seem terrifying but trying to hold onto youth will only drown you
This was a good video! Appreciate it Finn. I’m 27 years old and my life is actually getting started now, I got out of 5 year relationship and I know it was my fault, but that helped me learn what I was doing wrong and I know it won’t happen in my next relationship. Also I got hired for an IT position and that’s something I went to school for(well technically cybersecurity) but hey it’s a start. I also been working out way more and eating healthy. I have never felt anymore better in life. Things are going great.
Needed to hear this - lines up with what Ive been thinking about for awhile now. At 36 and not having advanced since I was 26, its time to do what needs to be done. Be great to write back in a year and say I've resolved my current issue...time and affirmative action will tell. Cheers Finn and all the best for 2024.
This is really great advice, and a good reminder to those of us in our 30s working on this stuff, but may be slacking in one area or another. Thanks Finn!
I did the same as Finn. But when I was 40. I’m 47 now and still getting better. I haven’t “made it” yet but I’m better than I’ve ever been and most importantly I’m happy, something I never was before.
Terrific that you are using your platform to spread this information. I completely agree with all of it. I got everything together between 27 and 32. It makes a huge difference. Even though I ended up getting divorced and laid off at 40, I still appreciate the decisions I made in my mid 20s. It made it much easier to put it all back together in my 40s. Got a new house, better job, new wife, and wonderful kids. Life is always full of ups, downs, and surprises. Do the hard work and you'll make it through.
I really REALLY needed to hear this, Finn. I've been having a really hard time lately and this just re-enforced what I was feeling and thinking lately and you confirmed all of it. Love you, my dude.
As someone that is going through a divorce at 28 after 7 years of marriage and three kids this is really hitting home as I basically have to start over
Just wanted to thank you for this kind of content,I feel like this is where your channel truly shines and these videos are genuinely some of the best advice one can get this side of youtube.
I wasted my teenage years and early 20s doing drugs and destroying my life. I feel grateful that I start repairing my life and going back to school in my mid 20s. It took graduating at 29 and starting my career shortly after to actually start accomplishing things and making real progress. Like you, I didn't want to be like my mother too. But that went to the way side around the age of 18. Fortunately I had my Come to Jesus moment in a Motel 6 at 3 a.m. all geeked out from doing blow all night at the age of 23. I realized I was doing the same shit I was exposed to as a kid. I've been sober for 21 years now.
I've been sober 5 months from alcohol. I'm going back to school this fall, I'm thinking about doing graphic design, in part because of what you've said about how you enjoyed working at Hollister and stuff. Computers are the future so i think it's a solid choice, i would love to be on the artistic side of it, and i know i could do it. Listening to the motivational side of your content has been beneficial to me. I've been through a lot, heroin addiction, long term homelessness, I've been to rehab 15 times. Now i have a car and my own place, life is so good. Thank you for being a good influence, it's AMAZING how hard that is to find right now
Man I’ve watched your videos for years, and this really spoke to me. I’m 26 now, and have had this same convo with my older brother before. Been making more constructive adult decisions since my Dad passed away; it was time to grow up. He even told me those last few weeks, “stop wasting time.” This is some legitimately good advice for anyone who needs to get their shit together. Thanks for what ya do man. 🤙
This is spot on. Im thankful that I learned accountability when I did. Now Im on a job where growth is achieved through hard work. Going to buy a house soon as well.
I love when you talk about this bc I'm basically on the same trajectory you were. Didn't start focusing on these things till I was 31 and now at 32, I'm so much closer to where I want to be than I ever thought possible. And I was on everything all the time until that "clean break" took place. Life's crazy
I just turned 40 last May and fell like I've had a rebirth in terms of taking care of myself and getting rid of bad habits and toxic people. Now more focused on Myself and looking forward to what 2024 has to offer.
I come from the alternative world and I'm 28, and I'm realizing that...I've slept under Pavillions with bottles before, and now I'm getting a 3D Architeture Certification. Everything you're saying is true. This is a great video. No one is perfect, but we all do stupid shit in our 20s...and sometimes you have to start late because of it. That's just how shit falls sometimes.
Man this hits home I was on the streets of Seattle for some years. In the last 2 years I have really gotten my shit together I got clean I stopped hanging out with bad news people. I started working towards a career I stopped smoking I have really turned my life around and I haven't been this happy in a long time.
I’m 30 this year, recovering from the trauma of my youth. Thanks for this. I give myself negative self talk and sabotage myself constantly in every way. It’s time to heal and fake it til I make it.
Really enjoyed this as someone who just turned 25. I might not be 30 yet but I look back to how fast the last 5 years were and I want to be in a much better place. I feel like I have enough data points in my life to look back and evaluate where my failures are and why. The part about you being who you surround yourself with is hard to accept, but true.
It's taken most of my 30s to stop being in my early 20s. I'm determined to have at least some of my life unfucked by 40, though. To be fair to myself, mental health struggles and a bad internet addiction slowed me down immensely and are still weighing me down, but I'm at a point where I'm so deeply unhappy with my life that I simply must get my shit figured out or doom myself to becoming a Reddit moderator or prog fan (kidding, kidding). Besides, my body is rebelling hard. My hips feel 60, my core is weak, my back hurts... I'm lucky to have a high metabolism keeping me thin, or I'd be huge on top of it. But all that serves to say: Don't let your 30s pass you by. I did, and the mess it's left me with feels insurmountable most days. Now I'm desperately trying to play catchup and make up for 20 years of pissing about. It sucks. It's terrifying. Don't do it to yourself. If you're in your 20s and doing what I did (hooked on the internet all day feeding your depression and living that sweet sweet NEET life), stop now. Seriously. I can't emphasize enough how awful it feels to be 37 and absolutely lost in life with no appreciable life skills.
Thanks for sharing your story and advice. It's cliche and I am older but I've been there done that. The things that you brought up are true. If you don't have your shit together by the end of your 30's it's going to be a long hard struggle that could encompass the rest of your life.
I'm 26 going on 27 in July of 2024. I feel like I constantly wasted my time chasing the wrong things in my years prior to now. All I've ever wanted was to be a musician and play shows and travel since I was 5 years old, and I'm no closer to that now than I was even then. It's extremely disheartening to learn about how other bands, both old and new, have at least consistently toured by the time they were my age or have found success, and I have only ever played like 2-3 shows in my life. The only thing I have going for me is that I have been recording, mixing and mastering music since I was 15 (2012), but in the past few months I haven't really done much with music, and have started to contemplate everything. I just don't really feel that drive anymore, and I've been considering hanging up the option of being in a full-time touring band and either going behind the scenes or leaving music all together. Ever since my partner in crime for music died in 2017, everything I attempt to do with music seems to bottom out eventually, and I'm legitimately thinking about just calling it quits permanently. I know that these are excuses and I need to just work harder and past all of it, but I just want to know if there's anyone out there that can relate. I feel so alone and defeated.
Same here, couple years ahead of you at 29. Got an opportunity to live at home with my (now) supportive dad to put a genuine effort into a music career before its too late(it may already be, idk...) A younger version of me dreamed of the opportunity to not have to focus on bills and just on the music...problem is, the barrier to entry seems so high. I understand more avout how the nusic business actually works, and im not a super hot 20 y/o with connections in the biz, or exceptionally great songs...Do I really have 10 years to build a powerful brand in rock/metal? (which is not really a popular genre anymore...) Lately, I've been mostly interested in electronic music too, because it's more fun and interesting. The scene seems less toxic. But, damn, I don't know how to DJ and spent the last 15 years learning guitar and drums and singing....I dont know how to compete with a top dubstep producer like subtronics or Boogie T...Fortunately I have a music education degree, so I can always fall back on a job in public education...but if I accept that as my fate I will feel like I failed and never gave my dream an honest shot because I was focused on a safer route...maybe one of the invisible scripts in my head....maybe this shit is just a hobby for me afterall, and I could have spent those 15 years learning more marketable skills and finding a good woman to marry...because now I ultimately want more money than a public school teacher makes, and to have a family. But this is where the path I was lead down(and partly chose) has put me. Seems like I gotta prune my desires and figure out which direction to apply my focus BUT, I'm also terrified of making the wrong choice...life is crazy and I wish I was born to a normie family, not a couple of glorified trainwrecks 🥲
Hi great idea to share a videolike this. Many kids need some good real stories from grown men. My 20´s were a tough age for a man in this era. Considering choosing music as a carreer. Really felt desesperated and depressed like no light at the end of the tunnel. Spent more than ten years studying practicing auditioning and when I was about to give all up at 29 I have entered a touring orchestra and started to stabilize my life. My 30´s were awesome
Just turned 27 here and I always thought I was ambitious and doing the "right" thing but I would always eventually let excuses stop me, in fact totally derail me, and felt comfortable with that. When COVID hit right around my college graduation year, and after several major relocations, failed relationships, and extremely uncomfortable "spiritual awakenings" (from occult to atheist to Christian) I've had an disorienting identity crises that's lasted about 2 years and put a lot of my progress on hold. Around this year I've realized I've actually just made a massive mess of my life and I need to get serious and stop feeling comfortable with a victim mentality or letting anything stop me for any reason. I'm done letting low self esteem, depression, disappointment, discouragement or ANYTHING else keep me from who I know I can be.
My sister just sent me this video and I was praying earlier about just staying focused and like where I want my life to go because I feel like well. I know my mindset is so different now that I’m 30 and I’m ready for a change and come just figure out OK I’m ready for a change. I know I want to change but why can’t I change so I wanna thank you for this video because my little sister is between 2425 and you making this has really help me look for it to 2024
This is a good inspiring video! I started my career and married the woman of my dreams when I was 26. I'll be 44 this year, still married to my wife and still working at the same place, but now I'm in management. I'm making more money than I ever thought possible and I am planning to retire at 55. I have two kids that are doing so well they're both on track to graduate early. But before all that I was a mess. I had a series of BAD relationships, I was an alcoholic and heavy drug user. I'm super grateful my wife didn't fire me shortly after we met, because I turned my life around for her. She deserved better than what I was at the time. My 30s were very trying though, and towards the end I quit drinking to excess because I could see I was drifting back into my old ways. I believe it's all about continual improvement and your small successes will snowball into a pretty fucking fantastic life.
Such a great video man. About to be 35 and I can relate heavy to this. I came from extreme poverty and a gnarly living situation and I too vowed to learn from the mistakes my parents made and give my children the best life experience they can possibly have. I am now on my 12th year being a tattoo artist and with my wife for the same amount of time and looking to get into being a graphic designer. My goal is to own a home by the time I’m 40. This video was a good bump for me in the right direction dude I appreciate your content 🙏🏼
I’d like to give you big props to bringing yourself in the right direction. I work as a Correctional Officer and a vast majority of my “clientele” had a terrible upbringing. “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” is very true. So good on you for making your own path and being a good role model. You deserve it.
This is eye opening. It invokes critical thinking and I think a lot of us need to do just that. I just turned 33 and luckily i have started to kill off bad habits in my late 20s. First was cutting soda six years ago and then alcohol three years ago. I have no self control when it comes to eating so i tend to eat recklessly like i did pretty much all of my natural life but hearing you talk about "the danger zone" really reinforced my diet plan that i recently started. Thanks for the insight and a break from the norm, Finn.
I'm 35, and I've spent my 30s figuring out who I am, working on my confidence, as well as trying to nurture my relationship with my wife, trying to see my friends and family a good bit, as well as focusing on my job and where I'd like to go within the company I'm at. Watering my garden so to speak
I watch your other channel from time to time while on the treadmill. I got to say - I LOVED this. 35 -years old in NJ. I found some of it very relatable. And very true. I'm definitely still in the "rebuilding phase". But stuff is coming together. And your line about feeling like you really were "making up for lost time" hit close to home. Great video. And hope you and your family have a great new year.
31, just going back to school for nursing because I did not see the value of it when I was first in school, but after working in the behavioral health world and seeing what they do and what they make turned my perspective around. Trying to be more open in relationship with friends & family, and actually taking my mental health seriously. Its alot of small things that can lead to big changes
Well, I'm only twenty five, but this gave me some late night motivation. Growing up depressed, ever since I can remember myself as a human, i.e. middle school, distorts my ability to comprehend what it means to go through life. My past year has been the worst of my life, having gone through a short yet extremely intense and abusive relationship. The way you talked about 'like attracts like' made me kind of ask myself, "how do I see myself? How do I really come off as a person?", and as someone in chat stated, trying to treat myself the same exact way I treat others. I guess this is some sort of win for me, even though I'm going through hardships on the daily, I know I am growing through that adversity, and I also learn to love myself more through the constant uphill track. Thanks for another banger of a deep convo vid Finn, your approach of being real and honest is honestly refreshing.
Absolutely love when you speak out to a younger generation with advice Finn. 36 year old with two kids and a wife here, started for real getting my shit together in my late twenties, on exactly these parameters: got an education, focused on training and my health, paid off big debt while studying, found my now wife and mother of my kids the last year of studying and now have a stable job, film music videos , play music and do UA-cam reactions on the side as a hobby. Love my life but it took years of effort to go from absolute worthless to now, but worth it.
Definitely a video I needed to hear. I just turned 29 and have always had a good work ethic, but the most valuable thing I recall was you saying focus on one thing. Despite working through serious troubles with substance abuse, I think the one thing I would say to young people is really question your goals and ask why you want to achieve them. After working as a self-employed real estate photographer, opera singer and now a copywriter for a large B2B publication company - I feel like I've worked hard but not entirely at the right things. I hope to become more focused on my goals in 2024 and would say to anyone younger to really think about what you love to do and how and why you want to get there. Great vid and best of luck to ya'll.
There are a lot of people who talk about these kinds of things and not everyone wants to listen. I think this sort of thing coming from you is good because of your audience. There's definitely a percentage of your audience that would never stumble upon (or want to watch) these types of advice videos, but since it's you saying it I bet they'll listen. I'm 31 and 9 months sober. Always worked out, ate healthy, and progressed my career, but drank heavily for 15 years with occassional drug use, and fucked up all my fucked up relationships. I think everything you've said in this video is really important; I love hearing this type of thing for more inspiration for myself, and love that it's getting out to your audience as well.
This video hit hard for me, kinda like a blessing in disguise. I’m 27 and grew my business for 4 years, and I was just about to call it quits come February 24, but I didn’t work that hard for nothing. I’m gonna keep it rocking till the wheels fall off cause why not. I’m gonna send it
So much of this resonated with me. I have coasted through life by not engaging with it, thereby avoiding and running from the generational trauma in my family. Not something I recommend doing, by the way. Like attracts like is scary true. My wife's generational trauma is similar, but worse than mine, somehow. We weirdly both chose the same route/approach with regards to relationships, but diverged when it came to careers and health. I have finally convinced her to do something to improve her health and she has greatly assisted me in getting my shit together in starting a career in a new business, at the young age of 43. I feel like I am just about mature enough to start engaging in and working on my own life. Never too late to start living your most authentic self. If you are struggling, good luck. Keep at it, even if it is just one small step in the right direction, choose to take it each day. I squandered multiple opportunities when I was younger, but my choices made me who I am now and I don't regret it now (the majority of the choices, that is). Stay strong, stay healthy, internet ppl.
Thanks Finn, needed to hear some of this. Broke my scaphoid about six months ago and it really took me out of it mentally not being able to train martial arts. I'm 26 and this is it, can't let anything hold you back. Keep gunning for it. Took me until 25 to realize I hadn't done anything with my life or anything I wanted for that matter.
Turning 30 next year and starting a new, well-paid and challenging job. Leaving the city I love and all my favorite bars and people… It’s a difficult move but I consider myself lucky ! Your video couldn’t come at a better time for me, Finn ! Thanks 🙏
Thanks for this Finn. I'm 33 and I was adjacent to the same toxic drunks/druggies as you from 27-32. It led to some really heartbreaking life experiences at 31. I have spent the last two years coming to realize that my thrill seeker personality that made my 20s lots of fun is now catching up to me in more ways than one and I've been putting a lot of work into distancing myself from my old lifestyle ever since. I still have some work to do but thankfully I at least still have a great career and this video made me think about my progress and now I'm stoked to keep going!
Thank you so much for caring enough to spread this message and information, people need to hear this,most of us are our own wrost enemy in having a nice life❤
I'm 41 and I'm trying to get things in order, still trying to figure it out, and hoping for the best. Last year I quit drinking and I'm starting an online business. Better late than never 😊
So im 34. The no active social life thing really got me. I own a retail storefront. Got into an industry around 24 - fell in love. Started small artisinal businesses to save up to enter the industry for real. Now im opening my 2nd and 3rd store. Mostly out of necessity. I have some pretty wild health issues and cant work a normal job. Im just too inconsistent. So instead of getting married or buying a house my wife and I invested in ourselves. We also had 2 children in the last 2 years making everything even busier and more chaotic. I haven't been out to do anything in over a decade. Maybe went to one show. Between the health issues and working i just dont have the time. Its fucking wearing on me. I see friends with normal jobs taking vacations and enjoying their weekends and evenings, playing video games and watching shows. I literally can't fathom how they even have the time to do it let alone focus and enjoy it. I really fucked around from like 16-24. Tons of debt and wasted time. My hope is if i keep going a bit longer and the business keeps going well i can step back and enjoy some time with my family and god forbid start a band for fun or at least goto shows. I dont mean to complain, my family is happy and healthy and wants for nothing. We are not rich but we are ok for now. Shit is wild out there - and its hard. Your empire means fuck all without friends and family. I know this. I feel this. I sometimes wonder if id be happier just on health benefits amd having all the time to hang with family. I couldnt give them the things they want...but id be there alot more than i am now. I dunno. Food for thought. Im rambling.
Love this content man. Got to post Nassim Taleb's list on true wealth: 1. Worry-less sleeping 2. Clear conscience 3. Reciprocal gratitude 4. Absence of envy 5. Good appetite 6. Muscle strength 7. Physical energy 8. Frequent laughs 9. No meals alone 10. No gym classes 11. Some physical labor 12. Good bowel movements 13. No meeting rooms 14. Periodic surprises I'm married to an amazing brain-genius woman, own a house, have good, reliable friends that say shit to my face and talk highly about me behind my back and I'm blessed with great health (thank you physically laborious job, daily consumption of home made hummus, whole wheat pita, spinach, sugar-free protein drinks, green tea and protein rich suppers that I cook from scratch.) My biggest hurdle is finding a career with driven people that share my values, I need to step this up and not be so afraid of failure, but it is incredibly difficult for me to take any risks to do this because I am a provider and have a mortgage.
Watching this half a year away from 30. Was able able to leave my 9-5 to pursue my film making passion 2023. In just filing weddings, but it pays the bills and it’s way better than what I was doing. Im actually stoked for my 30s
i have huge interest in psychology and improving mental health, while also having a huge passion for music and music culture. These kind of videos you do are my favorite, because they are coming for one of my favorite music people on UA-cam talking about my favorite topics. Thank you for sharing your personal experiences that i have learned a lot from! Great video as always!
Our parents had us pretty young and I ended up looking after my younger sibling a lot. We weren't neglected and had pretty good lives. They just were checked out a lot. I developed this thing, for a long time, were doing stuff for myself always felt less productive, than doing something for someone else. There is probably a better way to put that. My sibling recently graduated from college and started doing something they're really into and, I'm very proud of them. Kind been in this, "what now?" void and, have been feeling really down every time I think about the future. Took effort to click on this video tbh. We also used to go to local shows growing up and Idk, I wanted to hear what you had to say. Thanks for being straight up, glad I watched.
This is good stuff man when I started watching this I was thinking I don’t need to hear this but thinking about it there’s a lot of things I can still work on. People need to hear more down to earth advice like this.
Great advice Finn. As someone that has lived in NKY/Cincinnati my whole life, I can really identify with a lot of your experiences. I fucked up my 20s with addiction and incarceration, but I just turned 33 and have been clean for 5 months now and I finally have hope for the future. Happy New Year to you and the family!
My best friend from middle school committed suicide yesterday. We both hit 30 earlier in September. He said he felt he could never escape poverty and that he’s always going to be a loser like his addict mom and dad who was in prison all of his life.
His name was Ryan T. I wish I could have shown him this video, he needed to see a down to earth person say what you were saying in this video.
🙏
Sorry to hear man!
Sorry to hear this.
My condolences man🤍
I'm sorry to hear about Ryan. Not trying to make it about me but I just have to say that this really moved me. I'm 31, this time last year I was really at the point where life was changing drastically and I knew I was either going to make it or end my life. I just know what it feels to be literally exactly that age and really feel like nothing is ever going to change, like I REALLY get that. I know that you're probably thinking "yeah dude you know what it's like to be sad, I get it" but I just want you to know that like i really do. I'm sorry your friend wasn't able to make it. RIP Ryan.
If you take care of yourself and make good choices your 30s are just your 20s but with more money
And a cool job, I remote work in my pijamas.
This is true of your 40s, too
Hard to plan when your frontal lobe isn't fully developed until you're 25
And your 50s😐🤭😴
@@the_panosnot true. You can always plan ahead bro. Dont use "development" as an excuse. You do know that the way you think will either help or hinder your development. Think and act like an adult and everything else happens around that.
One of the most POSITIVE , adult , no bs , take responsibility for yourself and your actions video lessons I've ever seen on the internet. You're a good man , Finn McKenty.
Literally one of the best I’ve ever seen. No nonsense just straight reality
At 31 after wasting all of my 20s on chasing a career in theatre/acting I'm now on my way into a career in construction. I've felt very insecure about this initially but seeing this video and knowing I'm following most of this advice already is very reassuring. Thanks for this one Finn 🤙
brother I hear you. Spent my 20s in the behavioral health and psych field... now I am in construction at 30
I was lucky enough to get into a skilled trade at 18, I now sit in my basement all day designing electrical systems listening to music, watching movies, and making over $120k a year plus all my union benefits on top of that. Not a single college credit to my name.
I kind went the same way as you, I am only 40 and have 20 years in the HVAC union, I can retire at 55. I also fucked up a lot in my 30s - It was like all the shit i was too scared to try in my 20s I tried in my 30s but I never missed a day of work even though I was into heroin for 3 years. But I was able to kick it and fire back on all cylinders @@ryanbrown1789
@@ryanbrown1789 College is SOOOO overrated. Especially today. Community college or online learning is where it's at. If I had it to do all over again, I would've chosen a trade, then done my art/music on the side.
@@perfectallycromulent oh I believe the data, but not everyone wants a four year degree. Some want to learn a trade, some want to get a two year assoc. degree from community college so they can start working immediately. Most of what I learned in college I could’ve gotten with a two-year degree. The data only applies to people who WANT to attend college.
As I’m nearing 40 I found this incredibly validating. I’m exhausted from leveling up and I’m ready to coast into my 40’s so I can start enjoying it. Getting married, having two kids, getting multiple promotions, clearing debt, saving for retirement and staying fit has been the best hustle of my life. Everything said here is 100% true. Worth it.
I turn 40 next year, and 100% agree.
Good work dude! Enjoy it!
congrats
I fucked up my 30ies badly, I was an immature loser and wasted precious years that I will never get back. I managed to get my s*it together in my 40ies though and enjoyed life more than ever since. I'm 48 now, a happy man running my own business and doing the things I like most with a nice gf next to me. Bottom line, it's never too late to change and give your life a meaning.
I could definitely have done my 30s better. Partied my 20s away, and I’ve been raising a family in my 30s but stuck in meaningless chef jobs. I’m 38 now, and just bought a food truck. Been cooking 20 years and dreaming of self-employment, finally decided to make it happen.
Best of luck with your business! It's a tough industry, I hope your hard work will pay off! 🤘👍
From 14 to 38 I was never sober most days. I started smoking chronic weed daily when I was 14 before gradually moving on to hard drugs.
I look back to my teenage years and 20s and realize how many potential romantic relationships I could have had with attractive women but instead I was getting stoned or high on a couch somewhere with some of my guys friends.
@@willrunriot sounds like you've had an awesome life dude
@@Vivi_9 parts of it have been awesome, others have been pretty dark. I’d say “interesting” may be a more appropriate representation. 🤣
Can people stop using the phrase “One step closer…” cuz I’m about to break
Do you need a little room to breathe?
Pretend you’re a Russian soldier, NOT ONE STEP BACK SUKI
😂
This is solid advice. I unfortunately wasted my 30’s being a pot head and a drunk. I turned 40 a few months ago and now I’m going back to college for a Library and Information degree and I quit drinking and drugging at 39. Watching Finn’s videos was a big part of that. I wish I had seen a video like this years ago and started the process of getting my shit together earlier but I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life and I’m hopeful for the future for the first time. Thanks for being a positive influence on my life Finn, please keep putting messages like this in your videos. It does help people who are willing to listen. Much love brother, keep up the awesome work.
Happy to hear your doing better man. I hope that all goes well. Finn has some really down to earth videos I agree
I went back to school a year and a half ago at 32, and I just turned 34 a few weeks ago…
It’s been a struggle, but working a full time job while actively chasing my dreams for me is way better than stewing in misery at a job I hated in my 20s.
I put off relationships because I was too fucked up to be in one. I’m blessed that I have the same friends I’ve had since I was 14.
Eventually, I would like to get married. But I’ve got a lot of shit to take care of first. Lucky I got out the rut I’ve been in for so long, and can actually TALK TO WOMEN again.
Completely understand that position… It’s impossible to meet the person you would like to marry in the places you know you’re not supposed to be. In life and of the physical space.
Im 43 and just met my wife 3 years ago and ultimately it took me getting away from a go no where career and getting away from those people not heading in the same direction.
this sounds a lot like me. No point in trying to get in relationships when you aren't really ready to be in one. My high school friends are the only thing that has kept me going a lot of times.
@@The_Bass_Stunters I can say I’m a lot happier now than I was back then.
Anything done in music today has been done ages ago but I can still appreciate - 11.12.2024 (love you guys 🖤)
I turned 35 four days ago and I'm doing a lot of self-reflection these days, so this hits close to home. Thank you, Finn.
Being disabled, not all of your tips apply to me but some of it does and I'm definitely too much living and also thinking like a 25-year-old still.
Don't be afraid to try things you aren't confident about. I wasted a lot of potential by assuming I was less capable than I was due to medical problems.
Not to downplay disability though, I don't mean it like that. I just mean that we all have value and ways to contribute to making our own and others lives better, and there are always opportunities to improve that. Good luck to you
I’m 35 now too. One year out of rehab. Finally getting my shit together. Took me a long time.
I’m an 18 year old in my senior year of high school and I already got stuck in that “i’m a loser” mentality. Thanks for the wake up call Finn, this really made me feel more motivated. Love all your videos man, keep it up 💩💩
Hell yeah dude. You’re not a loser. Your are simply what you do. You have absolutely no obligation to do what you did last week, yesterday, or even one minute ago.
Every human life is inherently valuable. You are valuable. And you can build the life you want to live.
Best of luck dude!
Homey - you're not a loser; you're practically a blank slate. You can do almost anything you want at this point - the options are nearly endless. Go attack your life!!
Enjoy being 18. You wont remember half the things bothering you later in life.
Almost everyone feels like a loser when they’re a teenager, keep your chin up and be yourself dude
Focusing on negative self talk was really good. There’s a fine line between self reflection and just beating yourself up sometimes, and the intensity of social media these days can inflame that thinking. Losing a friend this year to senseless violence made my think more about mortality, you are not the main character, not everyone is out to get you.
As a 31 year old stuck in a rut.
. I really needed to hear this. I didn’t become focused on my goals until my mid 20s, always a failure since elementary school lost in La La land in my mind day dreaming and what not. When I finally focused, I surprised myself and excelled in my studies. It felt great. Once I got my nursing license and landed a job at a huge hospital in Chicago, mid pandemic, I felt that burnout hit almost instantly. Got my heart broken a couple times and lost my momentum. It’s been 2 years that I’ve been stuck at this “plateau”, looking back at how I used to be- energy wise, health wise and lifestyle wise.. I turn 32 in a month, and haven’t felt that motivation since 28. This video was a wake up call. As a female I’m conditioned to believe that life ends and you are basically worthless if you hit 30 and are unmarried / childless. Thank you for this reminder that I have still have time to be what I always thoughts I could be.
Sorry for the cheeesy rant 😅
It's not cheesy at all! And it's true, women do have a whole other level of pressure (some of it is social, some of it is biological)
Im in my late 20's now and thank you for sharing finn. I have 2 young kids and am married but struggled with alcoholism and depression for years, struggled to get sober since my first was born in 2019. The ultimatum was when my alcoholism and porn addiction was so bad that my marriage was about finished but pulled it together. Stopped drinking october 1st 2023 and not looking back. Thanks papa finn
This is a great video. I'm 35 and I actually just started going to the gym again this week. Your videos are great for listening to while working out. Addiction runs in my family and I'm trying my best to break the cycle. Been sober so many times but always seem to go back to it. I'm hoping it sticks this time. Been sober for almost a month now 💪
I am sure you will get there! You are not alone in this
These videos are always my favourite, always happy to see Finn pump one of these out every so often. Your video about addiction over the summer helped me quit weed.
37, just divorced after a 12 year marriage, just left my dream job I worked for 11 years. Both of these deteriorated to a state I hated myself and I saw no return from any of my efforts. Now I feel my time with my kid is of so much higher quality, I started my own business and it's going great, and I have the time to care about my health which luckily has been good so far. All these good and bad things happen and are just the way life goes, and if this life is the only chance I have, why not just make things good? Thank you for this video!
Here here... 37 and almost same story word for word. You go brother !
I had written a similar comment before seeing you two's. I had a similar thing happen. I am still happy to have buckled down in my late mid 20's to early 30's even though the first wife and job are gone. I ended up leveling up again. I do not believe that would be possible if I hadn't done the work back then.
Bro is putting pressure on finding relationships, bro forgets that there’s a second wave of girls once they all divorce
Same brother
Thanks for this Finn. It really encourages me to keep going. I'm 34, work in IT, married almost 5 years and have 2 great kids but one thing I've really neglected is my health, especially since I started work in IT. This past summer I started taking it more seriously once I discovered I hit 250 lbs (heavy for my height and age) so I've been going on walks on my lunch break, 25 push ups and 100 jumping jacks every night. Also, a calorie deficit works. Just telling myself not to get a second helping at dinner really worked for me. It isn't much but I feel better than I have in a long time. I feel more disciplined than I did in my 20's. I'm down 6 pounds, hope to loose more this next year!
Finn, I’ve just had the worst week of my life, soon to turn 27 and thought that my life was over , but this video is exactly what I needed to hear right now so thank you so much and have a happy new year !
I was a homeless alcoholic/drug addict 5 years ago. Now I’m 29, sober, and have a solid career as a counsellor. The reason that happened is because I had to take a serious look at all of these things and do what I could to change them. There will always be things that I can’t control, but I can always control my reaction to these things. You’re worth the effort you put into your life.
Bless you. We often suffer from an external locus of control, which limits our potential. glad you're doing a lot of good for yourself and others
Great video Finn, I've been following you for years. I'm about to turn 32 in a month. Debt free, got two kids, finally making enough money to afford the finer things in life. Been married for 8 years, been in bands from 2005 until 2020, toured, recorded did it all on a semi pro level. I gave up this lifestyle a few months before Covid hit. Best decision I ever made, I missed out on so many things for 15 years, coz I was so obsessed and focused on, wanting to make it in the music business. Damn it feels great to be a ''normie''. I love my family, my job, and I was always into cars, even before music. Now I can enjoy all the things I like, and not have to chase a dream which will never happen, especially here in Europe. Would be rad to meet and just talk in person once. Happy new year and keep this up!
💅
This is actually all very solid advice, Finn. Appreciate it man. Sorry about your mom. My mom had a pretty rough and similar upbringing and she is also very troubled, and so am I by extension. Thanks for sharing.
i went to rehab for the first time at 19 and didnt get sober til 24. im 27 now and for awhile i felt i missed out on my 20’s, but really i prepared myself for my 30’s and onwards early. it may have not been as fun or crazy as i was earlier, but im alive and stable. i can offer people things and build towards a future i can be proud of. and thats something i never thought id have. everything you spoke in this video was on the nose Finn
I lost my 30s to heavy alcohol and drug addiction. It’s literally a 10 year blank spot. It’s taken a lot of therapy to get over that.
Now 40 years old, clean and sober and working on improving myself and taking my life back ❤
I quit being an alcoholic when I was 34. I'm 36 now. It was the best thing I ever did for myself.
Thank you Finn for sharing your story with us! As a recovering addict born to a dysfunctional family, I appreciate this video more than words can describe. My 20’s were a hot mess, now I’m approaching 40, and I have to say that I am proud of the little achievements that I made. Be well, and have a safe and happy new year 🎆🎊🎆
I entered my 30s with a "I still have plenty of time to do it later" mindset. I was desperate to stay young and culturally relevent. This caused me to waste a lot of time on things that did not better my life, hang with a younger crew, stagnate in my career and kept me connected to toxic people. Only bonus was that I had a solid career and a loyal/hard working Girlfriend but I was coasting through life. I remember one day going on Facebook(which I rarely did/do) and seeing where my peers from HS were at in life. This lit a fire under me. I finally got married at 34, cut out toxic people, exercised, focused my time on beneficial things and started a business(in my career field). Took 2 years of struggle but then I started thriving in all aspects of life. Just know that it is never too late but life gives you what you are willing to put into it. "Getting old" may seem terrifying but trying to hold onto youth will only drown you
This was a good video! Appreciate it Finn. I’m 27 years old and my life is actually getting started now, I got out of 5 year relationship and I know it was my fault, but that helped me learn what I was doing wrong and I know it won’t happen in my next relationship. Also I got hired for an IT position and that’s something I went to school for(well technically cybersecurity) but hey it’s a start. I also been working out way more and eating healthy. I have never felt anymore better in life. Things are going great.
Needed to hear this - lines up with what Ive been thinking about for awhile now. At 36 and not having advanced since I was 26, its time to do what needs to be done. Be great to write back in a year and say I've resolved my current issue...time and affirmative action will tell. Cheers Finn and all the best for 2024.
This is really great advice, and a good reminder to those of us in our 30s working on this stuff, but may be slacking in one area or another. Thanks Finn!
Leaving this for the algorithm. Everyone should watch this.
I did the same as Finn. But when I was 40. I’m 47 now and still getting better. I haven’t “made it” yet but I’m better than I’ve ever been and most importantly I’m happy, something I never was before.
I’m in a really weird/uncomfortable transition period in my life and this is what I needed to hear. Thank you for making this video it helps a lot!
Thanks for lending some of your wisdom. You never know when somebody will say something that resonates
Terrific that you are using your platform to spread this information. I completely agree with all of it. I got everything together between 27 and 32. It makes a huge difference. Even though I ended up getting divorced and laid off at 40, I still appreciate the decisions I made in my mid 20s. It made it much easier to put it all back together in my 40s. Got a new house, better job, new wife, and wonderful kids.
Life is always full of ups, downs, and surprises. Do the hard work and you'll make it through.
I really REALLY needed to hear this, Finn. I've been having a really hard time lately and this just re-enforced what I was feeling and thinking lately and you confirmed all of it. Love you, my dude.
I'm turning 30 in a couple weeks and this video reassured me that I was on the right track. Loving these life advice tips, Finn!
As someone that is going through a divorce at 28 after 7 years of marriage and three kids this is really hitting home as I basically have to start over
Hang in there, homie
Just wanted to thank you for this kind of content,I feel like this is where your channel truly shines and these videos are genuinely some of the best advice one can get this side of youtube.
I wasted my teenage years and early 20s doing drugs and destroying my life. I feel grateful that I start repairing my life and going back to school in my mid 20s. It took graduating at 29 and starting my career shortly after to actually start accomplishing things and making real progress. Like you, I didn't want to be like my mother too. But that went to the way side around the age of 18. Fortunately I had my Come to Jesus moment in a Motel 6 at 3 a.m. all geeked out from doing blow all night at the age of 23. I realized I was doing the same shit I was exposed to as a kid. I've been sober for 21 years now.
I've been sober 5 months from alcohol. I'm going back to school this fall, I'm thinking about doing graphic design, in part because of what you've said about how you enjoyed working at Hollister and stuff. Computers are the future so i think it's a solid choice, i would love to be on the artistic side of it, and i know i could do it. Listening to the motivational side of your content has been beneficial to me. I've been through a lot, heroin addiction, long term homelessness, I've been to rehab 15 times. Now i have a car and my own place, life is so good. Thank you for being a good influence, it's AMAZING how hard that is to find right now
I'm turning 40 in about 13 months, Finn better make a video on turning 40 real soon ;)
Man I’ve watched your videos for years, and this really spoke to me. I’m 26 now, and have had this same convo with my older brother before. Been making more constructive adult decisions since my Dad passed away; it was time to grow up. He even told me those last few weeks, “stop wasting time.”
This is some legitimately good advice for anyone who needs to get their shit together.
Thanks for what ya do man. 🤙
Really appreciate these videos Finn! 🙏
respect man im 30. thanks for this Finn it's nice to hear life advice from someone I look up to
This is spot on. Im thankful that I learned accountability when I did. Now Im on a job where growth is achieved through hard work. Going to buy a house soon as well.
I love when you talk about this bc I'm basically on the same trajectory you were. Didn't start focusing on these things till I was 31 and now at 32, I'm so much closer to where I want to be than I ever thought possible. And I was on everything all the time until that "clean break" took place. Life's crazy
Turning 30 in May so thank you ❤️
I just turned 40 last May and fell like I've had a rebirth in terms of taking care of myself and getting rid of bad habits and toxic people.
Now more focused on Myself and looking forward to what 2024 has to offer.
I come from the alternative world and I'm 28, and I'm realizing that...I've slept under Pavillions with bottles before, and now I'm getting a 3D Architeture Certification. Everything you're saying is true. This is a great video. No one is perfect, but we all do stupid shit in our 20s...and sometimes you have to start late because of it. That's just how shit falls sometimes.
Man this hits home I was on the streets of Seattle for some years. In the last 2 years I have really gotten my shit together I got clean I stopped hanging out with bad news people. I started working towards a career I stopped smoking I have really turned my life around and I haven't been this happy in a long time.
I’m 30 this year, recovering from the trauma of my youth. Thanks for this. I give myself negative self talk and sabotage myself constantly in every way.
It’s time to heal and fake it til I make it.
Really enjoyed this as someone who just turned 25. I might not be 30 yet but I look back to how fast the last 5 years were and I want to be in a much better place. I feel like I have enough data points in my life to look back and evaluate where my failures are and why. The part about you being who you surround yourself with is hard to accept, but true.
It's taken most of my 30s to stop being in my early 20s. I'm determined to have at least some of my life unfucked by 40, though. To be fair to myself, mental health struggles and a bad internet addiction slowed me down immensely and are still weighing me down, but I'm at a point where I'm so deeply unhappy with my life that I simply must get my shit figured out or doom myself to becoming a Reddit moderator or prog fan (kidding, kidding). Besides, my body is rebelling hard. My hips feel 60, my core is weak, my back hurts... I'm lucky to have a high metabolism keeping me thin, or I'd be huge on top of it.
But all that serves to say: Don't let your 30s pass you by. I did, and the mess it's left me with feels insurmountable most days. Now I'm desperately trying to play catchup and make up for 20 years of pissing about. It sucks. It's terrifying. Don't do it to yourself. If you're in your 20s and doing what I did (hooked on the internet all day feeding your depression and living that sweet sweet NEET life), stop now. Seriously. I can't emphasize enough how awful it feels to be 37 and absolutely lost in life with no appreciable life skills.
Thanks for sharing your story and advice. It's cliche and I am older but I've been there done that. The things that you brought up are true. If you don't have your shit together by the end of your 30's it's going to be a long hard struggle that could encompass the rest of your life.
I'm 26 going on 27 in July of 2024. I feel like I constantly wasted my time chasing the wrong things in my years prior to now. All I've ever wanted was to be a musician and play shows and travel since I was 5 years old, and I'm no closer to that now than I was even then. It's extremely disheartening to learn about how other bands, both old and new, have at least consistently toured by the time they were my age or have found success, and I have only ever played like 2-3 shows in my life. The only thing I have going for me is that I have been recording, mixing and mastering music since I was 15 (2012), but in the past few months I haven't really done much with music, and have started to contemplate everything. I just don't really feel that drive anymore, and I've been considering hanging up the option of being in a full-time touring band and either going behind the scenes or leaving music all together. Ever since my partner in crime for music died in 2017, everything I attempt to do with music seems to bottom out eventually, and I'm legitimately thinking about just calling it quits permanently.
I know that these are excuses and I need to just work harder and past all of it, but I just want to know if there's anyone out there that can relate. I feel so alone and defeated.
Same here, couple years ahead of you at 29. Got an opportunity to live at home with my (now) supportive dad to put a genuine effort into a music career before its too late(it may already be, idk...) A younger version of me dreamed of the opportunity to not have to focus on bills and just on the music...problem is, the barrier to entry seems so high. I understand more avout how the nusic business actually works, and im not a super hot 20 y/o with connections in the biz, or exceptionally great songs...Do I really have 10 years to build a powerful brand in rock/metal? (which is not really a popular genre anymore...) Lately, I've been mostly interested in electronic music too, because it's more fun and interesting. The scene seems less toxic. But, damn, I don't know how to DJ and spent the last 15 years learning guitar and drums and singing....I dont know how to compete with a top dubstep producer like subtronics or Boogie T...Fortunately I have a music education degree, so I can always fall back on a job in public education...but if I accept that as my fate I will feel like I failed and never gave my dream an honest shot because I was focused on a safer route...maybe one of the invisible scripts in my head....maybe this shit is just a hobby for me afterall, and I could have spent those 15 years learning more marketable skills and finding a good woman to marry...because now I ultimately want more money than a public school teacher makes, and to have a family. But this is where the path I was lead down(and partly chose) has put me. Seems like I gotta prune my desires and figure out which direction to apply my focus BUT, I'm also terrified of making the wrong choice...life is crazy and I wish I was born to a normie family, not a couple of glorified trainwrecks 🥲
Absolutely loved this video. So much knowledge to take on with me during my journey. Thank you Finn!
Finn you really seem to be reconciling with your mortality recently.
Hi great idea to share a videolike this. Many kids need some good real stories from grown men. My 20´s were a tough age for a man in this era. Considering choosing music as a carreer. Really felt desesperated and depressed like no light at the end of the tunnel. Spent more than ten years studying practicing auditioning and when I was about to give all up at 29 I have entered a touring orchestra and started to stabilize my life. My 30´s were awesome
Fin's like Jordan Peterson with life experience. Jordan explains how to avoid other people's mistakes while Fin explains how to avoid his.
Just turned 27 here and I always thought I was ambitious and doing the "right" thing but I would always eventually let excuses stop me, in fact totally derail me, and felt comfortable with that. When COVID hit right around my college graduation year, and after several major relocations, failed relationships, and extremely uncomfortable "spiritual awakenings" (from occult to atheist to Christian) I've had an disorienting identity crises that's lasted about 2 years and put a lot of my progress on hold. Around this year I've realized I've actually just made a massive mess of my life and I need to get serious and stop feeling comfortable with a victim mentality or letting anything stop me for any reason. I'm done letting low self esteem, depression, disappointment, discouragement or ANYTHING else keep me from who I know I can be.
My sister just sent me this video and I was praying earlier about just staying focused and like where I want my life to go because I feel like well. I know my mindset is so different now that I’m 30 and I’m ready for a change and come just figure out OK I’m ready for a change. I know I want to change but why can’t I change so I wanna thank you for this video because my little sister is between 2425 and you making this has really help me look for it to 2024
This is a good inspiring video! I started my career and married the woman of my dreams when I was 26. I'll be 44 this year, still married to my wife and still working at the same place, but now I'm in management. I'm making more money than I ever thought possible and I am planning to retire at 55. I have two kids that are doing so well they're both on track to graduate early.
But before all that I was a mess. I had a series of BAD relationships, I was an alcoholic and heavy drug user. I'm super grateful my wife didn't fire me shortly after we met, because I turned my life around for her. She deserved better than what I was at the time. My 30s were very trying though, and towards the end I quit drinking to excess because I could see I was drifting back into my old ways.
I believe it's all about continual improvement and your small successes will snowball into a pretty fucking fantastic life.
Thanks for this. I'm 33 and have really been neglecting my physical and mental health this past year. Gotta turn it around and actually stick with it!
Such a great video man. About to be 35 and I can relate heavy to this. I came from extreme poverty and a gnarly living situation and I too vowed to learn from the mistakes my parents made and give my children the best life experience they can possibly have. I am now on my 12th year being a tattoo artist and with my wife for the same amount of time and looking to get into being a graphic designer. My goal is to own a home by the time I’m 40. This video was a good bump for me in the right direction dude I appreciate your content 🙏🏼
I’d like to give you big props to bringing yourself in the right direction.
I work as a Correctional Officer and a vast majority of my “clientele” had a terrible upbringing. “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” is very true. So good on you for making your own path and being a good role model. You deserve it.
My dad was a CO
This is eye opening. It invokes critical thinking and I think a lot of us need to do just that. I just turned 33 and luckily i have started to kill off bad habits in my late 20s. First was cutting soda six years ago and then alcohol three years ago. I have no self control when it comes to eating so i tend to eat recklessly like i did pretty much all of my natural life but hearing you talk about "the danger zone" really reinforced my diet plan that i recently started.
Thanks for the insight and a break from the norm, Finn.
I'm 35, and I've spent my 30s figuring out who I am, working on my confidence, as well as trying to nurture my relationship with my wife, trying to see my friends and family a good bit, as well as focusing on my job and where I'd like to go within the company I'm at. Watering my garden so to speak
in a vast sea of many personas on the net, thank you for always bein a Real one, Finn 🤙🏽
I watch your other channel from time to time while on the treadmill. I got to say - I LOVED this. 35 -years old in NJ. I found some of it very relatable. And very true. I'm definitely still in the "rebuilding phase". But stuff is coming together. And your line about feeling like you really were "making up for lost time" hit close to home.
Great video. And hope you and your family have a great new year.
Much love to you Finn, I'm almost 25 and I can very much relate to this sentiment and advice. I'm glad I voted for you in the Nik Nok awards 😅
31, just going back to school for nursing because I did not see the value of it when I was first in school, but after working in the behavioral health world and seeing what they do and what they make turned my perspective around. Trying to be more open in relationship with friends & family, and actually taking my mental health seriously. Its alot of small things that can lead to big changes
Well, I'm only twenty five, but this gave me some late night motivation.
Growing up depressed, ever since I can remember myself as a human, i.e. middle school, distorts my ability to comprehend what it means to go through life. My past year has been the worst of my life, having gone through a short yet extremely intense and abusive relationship. The way you talked about 'like attracts like' made me kind of ask myself, "how do I see myself? How do I really come off as a person?", and as someone in chat stated, trying to treat myself the same exact way I treat others.
I guess this is some sort of win for me, even though I'm going through hardships on the daily, I know I am growing through that adversity, and I also learn to love myself more through the constant uphill track. Thanks for another banger of a deep convo vid Finn, your approach of being real and honest is honestly refreshing.
This is a great video Finn!!! You are so real. Thank you for being a positive influence.
This is one of your most important and best videos Finn, I loved this shit. Hopecore Finn Mckinety era on top baby
I'm 43 today and the Man speaks the truth. Happy New year and be well.
Thank you for your honesty 🙏🙏🙏 im 32 and just started to break the vicious cycle failure in my family.
great video man, im 31 and this is exactly what i needed to hear. genuinely appreciate this content brother. love from australia
Amazing Video! Sending it to all the people I love. Thanks for talking about this 🙏
Absolutely love when you speak out to a younger generation with advice Finn. 36 year old with two kids and a wife here, started for real getting my shit together in my late twenties, on exactly these parameters: got an education, focused on training and my health, paid off big debt while studying, found my now wife and mother of my kids the last year of studying and now have a stable job, film music videos , play music and do UA-cam reactions on the side as a hobby. Love my life but it took years of effort to go from absolute worthless to now, but worth it.
Definitely a video I needed to hear. I just turned 29 and have always had a good work ethic, but the most valuable thing I recall was you saying focus on one thing. Despite working through serious troubles with substance abuse, I think the one thing I would say to young people is really question your goals and ask why you want to achieve them.
After working as a self-employed real estate photographer, opera singer and now a copywriter for a large B2B publication company - I feel like I've worked hard but not entirely at the right things. I hope to become more focused on my goals in 2024 and would say to anyone younger to really think about what you love to do and how and why you want to get there. Great vid and best of luck to ya'll.
There are a lot of people who talk about these kinds of things and not everyone wants to listen.
I think this sort of thing coming from you is good because of your audience. There's definitely a percentage of your audience that would never stumble upon (or want to watch) these types of advice videos, but since it's you saying it I bet they'll listen.
I'm 31 and 9 months sober. Always worked out, ate healthy, and progressed my career, but drank heavily for 15 years with occassional drug use, and fucked up all my fucked up relationships.
I think everything you've said in this video is really important; I love hearing this type of thing for more inspiration for myself, and love that it's getting out to your audience as well.
This video hit hard for me, kinda like a blessing in disguise. I’m 27 and grew my business for 4 years, and I was just about to call it quits come February 24, but I didn’t work that hard for nothing. I’m gonna keep it rocking till the wheels fall off cause why not. I’m gonna send it
Love that you shared this side of you and your advice on life. Need to see more life content!!
So much of this resonated with me. I have coasted through life by not engaging with it, thereby avoiding and running from the generational trauma in my family. Not something I recommend doing, by the way. Like attracts like is scary true. My wife's generational trauma is similar, but worse than mine, somehow. We weirdly both chose the same route/approach with regards to relationships, but diverged when it came to careers and health. I have finally convinced her to do something to improve her health and she has greatly assisted me in getting my shit together in starting a career in a new business, at the young age of 43. I feel like I am just about mature enough to start engaging in and working on my own life. Never too late to start living your most authentic self. If you are struggling, good luck. Keep at it, even if it is just one small step in the right direction, choose to take it each day. I squandered multiple opportunities when I was younger, but my choices made me who I am now and I don't regret it now (the majority of the choices, that is). Stay strong, stay healthy, internet ppl.
Thanks Finn, needed to hear some of this. Broke my scaphoid about six months ago and it really took me out of it mentally not being able to train martial arts. I'm 26 and this is it, can't let anything hold you back. Keep gunning for it. Took me until 25 to realize I hadn't done anything with my life or anything I wanted for that matter.
Turning 30 next year and starting a new, well-paid and challenging job. Leaving the city I love and all my favorite bars and people… It’s a difficult move but I consider myself lucky ! Your video couldn’t come at a better time for me, Finn ! Thanks 🙏
Thanks for this Finn. I'm 33 and I was adjacent to the same toxic drunks/druggies as you from 27-32. It led to some really heartbreaking life experiences at 31. I have spent the last two years coming to realize that my thrill seeker personality that made my 20s lots of fun is now catching up to me in more ways than one and I've been putting a lot of work into distancing myself from my old lifestyle ever since. I still have some work to do but thankfully I at least still have a great career and this video made me think about my progress and now I'm stoked to keep going!
Thank you so much for caring enough to spread this message and information, people need to hear this,most of us are our own wrost enemy in having a nice life❤
I'm 41 and I'm trying to get things in order, still trying to figure it out, and hoping for the best. Last year I quit drinking and I'm starting an online business. Better late than never 😊
So im 34. The no active social life thing really got me. I own a retail storefront. Got into an industry around 24 - fell in love. Started small artisinal businesses to save up to enter the industry for real. Now im opening my 2nd and 3rd store. Mostly out of necessity. I have some pretty wild health issues and cant work a normal job. Im just too inconsistent. So instead of getting married or buying a house my wife and I invested in ourselves. We also had 2 children in the last 2 years making everything even busier and more chaotic. I haven't been out to do anything in over a decade. Maybe went to one show. Between the health issues and working i just dont have the time. Its fucking wearing on me. I see friends with normal jobs taking vacations and enjoying their weekends and evenings, playing video games and watching shows. I literally can't fathom how they even have the time to do it let alone focus and enjoy it. I really fucked around from like 16-24. Tons of debt and wasted time. My hope is if i keep going a bit longer and the business keeps going well i can step back and enjoy some time with my family and god forbid start a band for fun or at least goto shows. I dont mean to complain, my family is happy and healthy and wants for nothing. We are not rich but we are ok for now. Shit is wild out there - and its hard. Your empire means fuck all without friends and family. I know this. I feel this. I sometimes wonder if id be happier just on health benefits amd having all the time to hang with family. I couldnt give them the things they want...but id be there alot more than i am now. I dunno. Food for thought. Im rambling.
I still come back to this video like once or twice a month to keep this in mind
Love this content man. Got to post Nassim Taleb's list on true wealth:
1. Worry-less sleeping
2. Clear conscience
3. Reciprocal gratitude
4. Absence of envy
5. Good appetite
6. Muscle strength
7. Physical energy
8. Frequent laughs
9. No meals alone
10. No gym classes
11. Some physical labor
12. Good bowel movements
13. No meeting rooms
14. Periodic surprises
I'm married to an amazing brain-genius woman, own a house, have good, reliable friends that say shit to my face and talk highly about me behind my back and I'm blessed with great health (thank you physically laborious job, daily consumption of home made hummus, whole wheat pita, spinach, sugar-free protein drinks, green tea and protein rich suppers that I cook from scratch.)
My biggest hurdle is finding a career with driven people that share my values, I need to step this up and not be so afraid of failure, but it is incredibly difficult for me to take any risks to do this because I am a provider and have a mortgage.
Watching this half a year away from 30. Was able able to leave my 9-5 to pursue my film making passion 2023. In just filing weddings, but it pays the bills and it’s way better than what I was doing. Im actually stoked for my 30s
i have huge interest in psychology and improving mental health, while also having a huge passion for music and music culture. These kind of videos you do are my favorite, because they are coming for one of my favorite music people on UA-cam talking about my favorite topics. Thank you for sharing your personal experiences that i have learned a lot from! Great video as always!
I’ve started doing all of these things in my mid 20’s & man it sure does make a difference to focus on longevity. Thanks for the tips Finn !
Our parents had us pretty young and I ended up looking after my younger sibling a lot. We weren't neglected and had pretty good lives. They just were checked out a lot. I developed this thing, for a long time, were doing stuff for myself always felt less productive, than doing something for someone else. There is probably a better way to put that. My sibling recently graduated from college and started doing something they're really into and, I'm very proud of them. Kind been in this, "what now?" void and, have been feeling really down every time I think about the future.
Took effort to click on this video tbh. We also used to go to local shows growing up and Idk, I wanted to hear what you had to say. Thanks for being straight up, glad I watched.
This is good stuff man when I started watching this I was thinking I don’t need to hear this but thinking about it there’s a lot of things I can still work on. People need to hear more down to earth advice like this.
Great advice Finn. As someone that has lived in NKY/Cincinnati my whole life, I can really identify with a lot of your experiences. I fucked up my 20s with addiction and incarceration, but I just turned 33 and have been clean for 5 months now and I finally have hope for the future. Happy New Year to you and the family!
You're laying down some hard truths. I respect it
I always appreciate the life advice vids; they always hit close to home for me