My mother’s 75 year old dentist friend had to give her ex husband $500K of her business to divorce him. She’s got two losers for sons who are in their early 40s. The youngest one is crazy, moved back in because he won’t keep a job, and tore her house up when she was recovering from knee surgery. She’s retired but works 3 days per week in a neighboring town so that she can escape the house that he’s in all day doing nothing. Why would any woman sign up for this? It never ends.
That lady that made a list of the 5 things you need to be a successful mother was spot on. If you don’t have money, a village and a supportive partner motherhood is not worth it
I had none of those and had to raise a toddler alone in an apartment in the hood at 23 years old with no child support. Had to work full time to support us, rarely even saw my baby. Plus I was neurodivergent so I struggled really bad with executive function. I think I’m permanently traumatized by the stress of the whole ordeal, I’m very mentally ill and struggle most days. That being said my 14 year old son is my absolute joy and I would do it all over again for him. We are doing SO MUCH better in every way now years later. It sucks that motherhood has to come with so much pain and neglect, especially those first years, because the good parts of it are so beautiful and amazing and fulfilling and just fills my heart with so much oxytocin. But it comes with great cost if you don’t have support. I never had another kid because of how hard it was, I’m so grateful for my only.
I think it depends. It's rarely worth it. But only because most men don't plan on sharing the workload. Most of the lack of freedom is put upon the mother. If a man was just as willing to sacrifice for his family, that's a different story for me. But again, most men lack that quality. And the politics of just settling for the sake of settling and not marrying for love simply isn't enough.
Im (27) childfree and I will never regret my decision. I don't understand why some women don't learn and watch from other women with children, before they decide to have a child. I babysat for my older sister's/cousin's kids for years starting at 12yrs old to my mid 20s. Watching other people's kids sucked the life out of me and made me realize how hard it is raising children. Not only babysitting made me not want be a mother but watching how other people's kids behaved out in public. That's why I say be mindful of who you lay down with and take proper precautions. Ladies don't be so quick to have a baby for a man. Remember your bodies/mind are the ones that go through a whole metamorphosis to bring a baby into this world not these men.
Today was my son's 9th birthday. I did my absolute best to make his day special. We both have been through a lot. His dad has never been supportive but I let them talk cos I feel it's important for the child. My day was perfect until I let him speak to the child. He said one thing that pissed me off. My heart is pounding, I always ask myself why I made a baby with him. I REGRET the day I met him. Being a mom for me is very very difficult but that doesn't mean I hate my son. Typing this with a very bleeding heart.🚮🚮🚮
Whatever he said, it was probably intentional. People know what buttons to push, and they do it just to ruin your day. Do whatever you have to in order to let it go so he won't keep that power over you. If it was something damaging about you to your son, tell your son later why it is wrong. If it was not disparaging against you toward your child, try and let it go.
@@thembekadorcaskhumalo866 I won't say he is evil since idk your son's dad, but saying things just to push someone's button when they have done nothing to deserve it is something evil people do.
Happy 9th birthday to your son! Your internet Auntie loves you and your more despite your shitty father. Girl, you are not alone. I legit wish I'd never even laid eyes on my ex. So much drama, pain, etc.
Another thing is, SOME of the mothers had wrong motives for having children that were very selfish, then years later, they want to play victim... let's be REAL
A lot of women have kids to try to "fix" their broken relationship with their mother/father or ex-partner, or to have something love them unconditionally and can't get away. This aspect of what motivates motherhood is not talked about.
There is no maternity leave in America, and children’s school hours do not match work hours, so having children here is a bad idea. Leaving work is a risk. This is why I don't want to have children here. But maybe I would have children if I got married in a better country
I honestly feel a big problem in why women keep falling into the trap of "become a mom, it'll fulfill you. It is your purpose as a woman" is because they know they dont want kids or are unsure, but society shames women for not choosing to be mothers. Then when you have kids or even get pregnant (whether it's planned or not) you find out your partner isnt who they said they were and now you're stuck doing something you don't really want to do because if you give the baby up for adoption you're the bad guy and if you have an abortion you're the bad guy. If you choose to remain child free, you have to be reminded of how your choice was a mistake by everyone who doesn't agree. The only right choice is being a mom. But if you're a single mom, you're a slut and deserve to be alone. There is no real support for women going through this, just shame and suggestions on how you can do better from the peanut gallery. Now you have a whole bunch of miserable moms with kids that have no real father figure and said father doesn't even have to be accountable like the mother does. Its just bad all around. Very few people are actually fortunate enough to end up in a good situation and that needs to change.
I agree 💯. It's a hopeless no win situation all around. Did you know there's lots of young men out there that won't date single mothers at all? And then there's men who are married with kids, and they're cheating on their wives with other women and sex workers. The list goes on. I'm a middle aged woman, never legally married, I was with my significant other for many many years, we don't have any kids of our own, he has one child from his previous marriage when he was younger. I have been ridiculed and been called horrible names for being child free, it's awful. I don't even tell people that I'm child free unless they ask me. I just don't know how they're going to react. It's getting tiring and sickening.
The issue is that they think it validates their desirability and they think the consequences are “worth it”. If it gets too hard, they know they can just give the kids up any way .
Exactly!!! It’s overhyped and glorified and no one wants to tell the TRUTH about what it’s really like. They want to keep women and girls in the dark so they can keep going into it blind and keep having babies… I’m tired of it. They always act like it’s a blessing full of sparkles and glitter and oh-so worth it and it’s not. It sounds like hell. Nothing but sacrifice with little to no reward. The world was built off women’s sacrifice.
It’s not worth it. I had a mental breakdown last night, blew up on my husband and stormed off to the spare bedroom and locked my door. I can’t do this anymore. Motherhood has been the worst mistake of my life.
Kids were supposed to be raised in villages full of support. Where lots of people help. The nuclear two-parent household and capitalism was the absolute worst thing to happen to women and children. We were never supposed to be depending on a man to help us raise kids.
Agreed 💯 Edit: *(accept for the last part. If men knock women up, the fathers should be relied on.)* A two-parent household isn't always a good thing. Sometimes a one-parent household is better and safer and more peaceful! Women were never meant to be dependent on a man in any capacity, ESPECIALLY NOT financially!
My ancestors (some) lived in a small village in the hills. All the women lived until their 80s (this was 18th and 19th century they were born). My 2x great granny left the hills with her husband and died in her 30s after having her children. She might not have had a support network and was the first woman to leave the hills for centuries.
I won't add to the backlash she's getting for simply telling the RAW truth of motherhood/marriage BUT...at the 14:12 mark, she said women are suffering everywhere. Now, while I WHOLEHEARTEDLY AGREE 💯 with what she's saying...if you KNOW/KNEW that women are suffering everywhere, why bring a child into this world???? Why add to the suffering and struggling??? Plus, when you think about it, the suffering and struggling that's happening, has always happened and will NEVER stop happening! Bringing someone into the world against their will, will only pass down/perpetuate the same suffering and struggling that they'll now have to go through and it's not fair! It's no different than, "I had to go through it! Now it's your turn!," mentality! Which is part of the reasons why I'm childfree now! It's mind boggling to me how someone can know/knew the type of filth this world is and still condemned another soul into it!
I had postpartum & I only had it I feel like for one week , because for one the world isn't gonna stop when your depressed for one & 2 I was raising my son by myself with help of family. Like i got over the postpartum because i started basically thinking more and more of my child. If your not that mentally strong to have a child and finically there , than dont have the child simple !
Great points. You grossly underestimate the impact of societal norms and pressures. Only a very small percentage have the courage to go against the norm. Most will mindlessly follow the norm, even if it kills them to do so. That is still preferred to the alternative i.e the consequences of not conforming and fitting well into society- shame and stigmatization.
This is why you didn't have kids in your 20's. And if you're having a child thinking that your life will be better for it, don't do it. You need to work on yourself and understand what having a child really means before you ever even think about it. I understand that this mother has regrets and resentment, and think of how horrible that feels for her child. They can feel that energy. I have a 4 year old daughter, she's the best. I really like being around her. But, I knew who I was before I had her. I also accepted that I change as a human being throughout my life. I don't stay the same, my life evolves. Having a child really changed how I love my life, and I welcomed that. Today is one way, tomorrow will be different. Being a parent is the hardest job, but it's mostly hard because we have to control ourselves, and work out own traumas. Children are people, people aren't supposed to be controlled, but to be guided and accepted for who they are. When you're a parent, it's no longer just about you anymore.
Having more sprogs than you can comfortably provide for & multiple kids by multiple men is what’s awful.. motherhood is not for the weak or screamish… I’m glad I stuck at just one Thank you Bye !!
These women telling others that they can't hate motherhood and love their children at the same time are telling on themselves. You mean to say the love for your children is circumstantial, lady? So when your circumstances change to something less favourable the love for your kids go out the door? GOOD TO KNOW
Our way of living has changed so drastically , we are so removed from nature and eachother, that motherhood has become a handicap instead of a blessing. I feel really bad for her...
For me, I always wanted kids, wanted to be a mom and love my kids- but if I knew the mental toll ahead of time, I’d have prepared differently. I was not emotionally stable or mature due to not having good examples in my home life, not knowing myself emotionally, and having depression that went untreated for decades.
I have so much respect for women who decide to be mothers, GOOD mothers. Because there are sooo many people that have kids just for the sake of it and end up ruining their kids' lives or hurting them deeply. My grandma was like that. A narcissist, she never loved anyone but herself and her siblings. She only cared about my dad when he could do things for her. She would always put her 'dear' brothers above anyone even her children and husband. Her husband, my grandpa, a wonderful man, died of diabetes when my dad was only 12 and she sent my dad to work at that age to support the family, even though he was the youngest child. Then her brothers would beat up and abuse my dad and his siblings and my grandma would not do shit. My dad still very much cared for her, supporting and giving her a big allowance that she would spend on her other kids. When one of her brothers, my dad's uncle, tried to steal a property that belonged to my dad, she took her brother's side and disowned my father for being 'difficult'. My dad had to go to court and watch his entire family turn their back at him even though they were on the wrong. My dad won the case rightfully so and never spoke to my grandma again. My sister and I have ran into our grandma twice since, and every time she tries to say hi and gult trip us into believing our dad was at fault. We giver he the cold shoulder, fuck that woman. Now she is all alone, her 'dear' brothers took every last penny from her. Her other kids, my dad's siblings, are only waiting for her to kick the bucket so they can have her house which is worth nothing because it is in a property next to her dear brother's houses, an enclosed property that no one in their right mind would buy. You reap what you sow.
Divorced 2 years, stillbirth 3 years ago, childfree by choice now. Man free as well. Likely will not marry again. Had my fallopian tubes removed. My life's never been better. I'll never judge a woman who is being honest and needs to talk. It's hard being a woman no matter what's going on in your life. We need to stop being against each other.
Ehhhh I have a 6 year old .. I wouldnt say not worth it. I would say if you're not ready dont rush it. I only have one child and I have no regrets or anything having him. I just feel like I dont want another child , im up and age and just dont want another child 🤷🏾♀️. My life changed but not stressful for me but i know everyones life is different... i would never say motherhood isnt "worth it " i would just say if your not ready thats ok & if you are get ready because its alot of work! I feel like nowadays people have kids when their already not finically stabled or have the mental capacity to intake motherhood , which is ok but people need to actually make sure their ready to have a child and not just have one.
Hmmm I don’t think it’s down to being ready or not I think it’s down to whether you want kids or not and whether you’re self aware enough to know whether kids for into your life. It’s like you’re trying to say those who don’t want children simply aren’t ready for it which is wrong.
Motherhood is absolutely worth it to me . Yes, being a mother can be hard . I get tired sometimes but my daughter ,is the LOVE OF MY LIFE. I never felt love, like I do, from my daughter. She motivates me to be better and push harder ,even when I don't want to . I want to create the best life for her possible. When I cry she was wipes my tears and tells me "Mommy everything will be ok." She is my best friend and couldn't imagine life without her ❤
I have a daughter and it's not like that for every mom though! Their feelings are still valid. I love my daughter to the moon and back but if I could go back I would not have been a mom!!
I was/am that daughter for my mom and it made me exhausted before I even started my own life. It's sweet but be careful that she doesn't spend her time trying to make you happy, it's not her responsibility. ❤
@@user-ip5fm3ck4p This was sweet until she wrote about her daughter wiping her tears and being her emotional support. We really undermine how many women have children so they can have a little companion and someone to love them unconditionally and not neccesarily that they have a life to offer the child.
A lot of these stories will come back to haunt these mothers. Their same children will create the "I hate my narc mother..." vids and rightfully so. If you had pleasure in laying down and having children, have pleasure in the highs and lows. You should know the pros and cons of having children and decide responsibly. Now, they have every right to feel, experience, and process their emotions... and cope in a healthy manner
If mothers don’t speak about this honestly, young women will continue to fall into this trap as they have for generations. We will never see change if we can’t even acknowledge that there is a problem.
I think many Moms feel as the first woman in the video does....it's not her child she hates, it's the journey and self sacrifice of motherhood itself. In many ways, "you" cease to exist, everything you do is now for your child. It's not a sacrifice every woman should make, especially those with mental health concerns...
Except the mother isn’t a narc for simply being human lol. If that spoiled ass grown narc child can’t empathize with their mom then that’s on them… 🤷🏽♀️ I’m grown and I can understand how motherhood took a lot away from my mother. Women aren’t obligated to have pleasure in “the highs and lows” lol. Women aren’t obligated to simply suffer in silence because you want them to… we’ve done enough of that.
@@corimoon3360 Don't get me wrong, I don't believe the mother was being a narc either. I agree with you there. BUT...how is the child a "narc" when they never asked, nor chose, nor consented, to be born in the first place??? It wouldn't matter if the kid was grown or not. So I'm not sure why the child would have to empathize with something they're not at fault for.
My mother’s 75 year old dentist friend had to give her ex husband $500K of her business to divorce him. She’s got two losers for sons who are in their early 40s. The youngest one is crazy, moved back in because he won’t keep a job, and tore her house up when she was recovering from knee surgery. She’s retired but works 3 days per week in a neighboring town so that she can escape the house that he’s in all day doing nothing. Why would any woman sign up for this? It never ends.
Actually still being the caretaker for my son
After everyone abandonned me while I was having surgery
I effin hate my life
That lady that made a list of the 5 things you need to be a successful mother was spot on. If you don’t have money, a village and a supportive partner motherhood is not worth it
I had none of those and had to raise a toddler alone in an apartment in the hood at 23 years old with no child support. Had to work full time to support us, rarely even saw my baby. Plus I was neurodivergent so I struggled really bad with executive function. I think I’m permanently traumatized by the stress of the whole ordeal, I’m very mentally ill and struggle most days. That being said my 14 year old son is my absolute joy and I would do it all over again for him. We are doing SO MUCH better in every way now years later. It sucks that motherhood has to come with so much pain and neglect, especially those first years, because the good parts of it are so beautiful and amazing and fulfilling and just fills my heart with so much oxytocin. But it comes with great cost if you don’t have support. I never had another kid because of how hard it was, I’m so grateful for my only.
If you are getting a title then you have to do your part"father '
thank you to the moms that refuse to suffer in silence. Your honesty is helping the next generation
She ain’t lying especially with no support system
Motherhood isn’t worth it… you’ve been lied to by men and pick mes who are miserable and want company…
💯 truth
I think it depends. It's rarely worth it. But only because most men don't plan on sharing the workload. Most of the lack of freedom is put upon the mother. If a man was just as willing to sacrifice for his family, that's a different story for me. But again, most men lack that quality. And the politics of just settling for the sake of settling and not marrying for love simply isn't enough.
Im (27) childfree and I will never regret my decision. I don't understand why some women don't learn and watch from other women with children, before they decide to have a child. I babysat for my older sister's/cousin's kids for years starting at 12yrs old to my mid 20s. Watching other people's kids sucked the life out of me and made me realize how hard it is raising children. Not only babysitting made me not want be a mother but watching how other people's kids behaved out in public.
That's why I say be mindful of who you lay down with and take proper precautions. Ladies don't be so quick to have a baby for a man. Remember your bodies/mind are the ones that go through a whole metamorphosis to bring a baby into this world not these men.
Today was my son's 9th birthday. I did my absolute best to make his day special. We both have been through a lot. His dad has never been supportive but I let them talk cos I feel it's important for the child. My day was perfect until I let him speak to the child. He said one thing that pissed me off. My heart is pounding, I always ask myself why I made a baby with him. I REGRET the day I met him. Being a mom for me is very very difficult but that doesn't mean I hate my son. Typing this with a very bleeding heart.🚮🚮🚮
I’m sorry you have to live with such turmoil. Hopefully someday you will be free from ever having to interact with him when your child is grown
Whatever he said, it was probably intentional. People know what buttons to push, and they do it just to ruin your day. Do whatever you have to in order to let it go so he won't keep that power over you. If it was something damaging about you to your son, tell your son later why it is wrong. If it was not disparaging against you toward your child, try and let it go.
@@thembekadorcaskhumalo866 I won't say he is evil since idk your son's dad, but saying things just to push someone's button when they have done nothing to deserve it is something evil people do.
Happy 9th birthday to your son! Your internet Auntie loves you and your more despite your shitty father.
Girl, you are not alone. I legit wish I'd never even laid eyes on my ex. So much drama, pain, etc.
Modern women UNDERSTANDS 💯 MALES DO NOT UNDERSTAND, NEVER HAVE AND NEVER WILL
I respect her honesty. She is being real about Motherhood and the sacrifice it with being a parent.
This mama is right. I like when women stand on business even through push back and silly bitches. Postpartum depression is so REAL.
Another thing is, SOME of the mothers had wrong motives for having children that were very selfish, then years later, they want to play victim... let's be REAL
A lot of women have kids to try to "fix" their broken relationship with their mother/father or ex-partner, or to have something love them unconditionally and can't get away. This aspect of what motivates motherhood is not talked about.
Shout it shout it loud. They use the child as a pawn. Wickedness.
💯. Yes I love my kid. But if i knew THEN what I know NOW i wouldn't have had a kid, gotten married. Any of it.
Same!
Please yall tell me what you know now? From what I can see, having to deal with men and kids is very draining emotionally? Is it that?
@@user-ip5fm3ck4p it is. Putting yourself last to take care of everyone else as a mom and a wife is the worst.
There is no maternity leave in America, and children’s school hours do not match work hours, so having children here is a bad idea. Leaving work is a risk. This is why I don't want to have children here. But maybe I would have children if I got married in a better country
Not even just that overall no matter where you are it takes more than it gives and it’s just not worth it.
I honestly feel a big problem in why women keep falling into the trap of "become a mom, it'll fulfill you. It is your purpose as a woman" is because they know they dont want kids or are unsure, but society shames women for not choosing to be mothers.
Then when you have kids or even get pregnant (whether it's planned or not) you find out your partner isnt who they said they were and now you're stuck doing something you don't really want to do because if you give the baby up for adoption you're the bad guy and if you have an abortion you're the bad guy. If you choose to remain child free, you have to be reminded of how your choice was a mistake by everyone who doesn't agree. The only right choice is being a mom. But if you're a single mom, you're a slut and deserve to be alone. There is no real support for women going through this, just shame and suggestions on how you can do better from the peanut gallery.
Now you have a whole bunch of miserable moms with kids that have no real father figure and said father doesn't even have to be accountable like the mother does. Its just bad all around. Very few people are actually fortunate enough to end up in a good situation and that needs to change.
I agree 💯. It's a hopeless no win situation all around. Did you know there's lots of young men out there that won't date single mothers at all? And then there's men who are married with kids, and they're cheating on their wives with other women and sex workers. The list goes on. I'm a middle aged woman, never legally married, I was with my significant other for many many years, we don't have any kids of our own, he has one child from his previous marriage when he was younger. I have been ridiculed and been called horrible names for being child free, it's awful. I don't even tell people that I'm child free unless they ask me. I just don't know how they're going to react. It's getting tiring and sickening.
Ladies, if you know that motherhood isn't worth it, please remember to be KIND to your mom!!! You know the sacrifices she has made for YOU.
Maria your hair is beautiful! The glorification of motherhood is what causes women to be disappointed. It’s overhyped.
The issue is that they think it validates their desirability and they think the consequences are “worth it”. If it gets too hard, they know they can just give the kids up any way .
Exactly!!! It’s overhyped and glorified and no one wants to tell the TRUTH about what it’s really like. They want to keep women and girls in the dark so they can keep going into it blind and keep having babies…
I’m tired of it. They always act like it’s a blessing full of sparkles and glitter and oh-so worth it and it’s not. It sounds like hell. Nothing but sacrifice with little to no reward.
The world was built off women’s sacrifice.
It’s not worth it. I had a mental breakdown last night, blew up on my husband and stormed off to the spare bedroom and locked my door.
I can’t do this anymore. Motherhood has been the worst mistake of my life.
Kids were supposed to be raised in villages full of support. Where lots of people help. The nuclear two-parent household and capitalism was the absolute worst thing to happen to women and children. We were never supposed to be depending on a man to help us raise kids.
Agreed 💯
Edit: *(accept for the last part. If men knock women up, the fathers should be relied on.)*
A two-parent household isn't always a good thing. Sometimes a one-parent household is better and safer and more peaceful!
Women were never meant to be dependent on a man in any capacity, ESPECIALLY NOT financially!
Why weren't we supposed to depend on THE FATHER TO BE A PARENT??????? AIN'T HE THE PARENT AS WELL??? BS
Here's a thought, if as a woman you can't do it all (but you sure did when y'all laying down with these males) THEN DO NOT GIVE BIRTH
@@baesky-hd7zt yes but not exclusively the father. It seems few men can handle having that much power over a woman’s life without misusing it
My ancestors (some) lived in a small village in the hills. All the women lived until their 80s (this was 18th and 19th century they were born). My 2x great granny left the hills with her husband and died in her 30s after having her children. She might not have had a support network and was the first woman to leave the hills for centuries.
I won't add to the backlash she's getting for simply telling the RAW truth of motherhood/marriage BUT...at the 14:12 mark, she said women are suffering everywhere. Now, while I WHOLEHEARTEDLY AGREE 💯 with what she's saying...if you KNOW/KNEW that women are suffering everywhere, why bring a child into this world???? Why add to the suffering and struggling??? Plus, when you think about it, the suffering and struggling that's happening, has always happened and will NEVER stop happening! Bringing someone into the world against their will, will only pass down/perpetuate the same suffering and struggling that they'll now have to go through and it's not fair! It's no different than, "I had to go through it! Now it's your turn!," mentality! Which is part of the reasons why I'm childfree now!
It's mind boggling to me how someone can know/knew the type of filth this world is and still condemned another soul into it!
See, some will call you a narc for true statements and basic critical thinking skills...
most people are not ready for this conversation.
I had postpartum & I only had it I feel like for one week , because for one the world isn't gonna stop when your depressed for one & 2 I was raising my son by myself with help of family. Like i got over the postpartum because i started basically thinking more and more of my child. If your not that mentally strong to have a child and finically there , than dont have the child simple !
Because WOMEN NEVER LEARN. THEY THINK IT'S LOVE WHEN IT'S SLAVERY
Great points. You grossly underestimate the impact of societal norms and pressures. Only a very small percentage have the courage to go against the norm. Most will mindlessly follow the norm, even if it kills them to do so. That is still preferred to the alternative i.e the consequences of not conforming and fitting well into society- shame and stigmatization.
This is why you didn't have kids in your 20's. And if you're having a child thinking that your life will be better for it, don't do it. You need to work on yourself and understand what having a child really means before you ever even think about it. I understand that this mother has regrets and resentment, and think of how horrible that feels for her child. They can feel that energy. I have a 4 year old daughter, she's the best. I really like being around her. But, I knew who I was before I had her. I also accepted that I change as a human being throughout my life. I don't stay the same, my life evolves. Having a child really changed how I love my life, and I welcomed that. Today is one way, tomorrow will be different. Being a parent is the hardest job, but it's mostly hard because we have to control ourselves, and work out own traumas. Children are people, people aren't supposed to be controlled, but to be guided and accepted for who they are. When you're a parent, it's no longer just about you anymore.
she had her child in her 30's
@laela6289 I'm taking about in general.
Children and babies are wonderful. The problem is the world they want us to raise them in.
Ok Maria..you look beautiful 😍❤️
Having more sprogs than you can comfortably provide for & multiple kids by multiple men is what’s awful..
motherhood is not for the weak or screamish…
I’m glad I stuck at just one
Thank you
Bye !!
These women telling others that they can't hate motherhood and love their children at the same time are telling on themselves. You mean to say the love for your children is circumstantial, lady? So when your circumstances change to something less favourable the love for your kids go out the door? GOOD TO KNOW
Our way of living has changed so drastically , we are so removed from nature and eachother, that motherhood has become a handicap instead of a blessing. I feel really bad for her...
You don't have to explain, I know. But thanks for saying it again for all the ladies in the WAYYYYYY back who can't hear.
I love motherhood, its society's expectation of it and expecting mothers to work, take care of the home and cook that makes me livid.
For me, I always wanted kids, wanted to be a mom and love my kids- but if I knew the mental toll ahead of time, I’d have prepared differently. I was not emotionally stable or mature due to not having good examples in my home life, not knowing myself emotionally, and having depression that went untreated for decades.
I have so much respect for women who decide to be mothers, GOOD mothers. Because there are sooo many people that have kids just for the sake of it and end up ruining their kids' lives or hurting them deeply. My grandma was like that. A narcissist, she never loved anyone but herself and her siblings. She only cared about my dad when he could do things for her. She would always put her 'dear' brothers above anyone even her children and husband. Her husband, my grandpa, a wonderful man, died of diabetes when my dad was only 12 and she sent my dad to work at that age to support the family, even though he was the youngest child. Then her brothers would beat up and abuse my dad and his siblings and my grandma would not do shit. My dad still very much cared for her, supporting and giving her a big allowance that she would spend on her other kids. When one of her brothers, my dad's uncle, tried to steal a property that belonged to my dad, she took her brother's side and disowned my father for being 'difficult'. My dad had to go to court and watch his entire family turn their back at him even though they were on the wrong. My dad won the case rightfully so and never spoke to my grandma again. My sister and I have ran into our grandma twice since, and every time she tries to say hi and gult trip us into believing our dad was at fault. We giver he the cold shoulder, fuck that woman. Now she is all alone, her 'dear' brothers took every last penny from her. Her other kids, my dad's siblings, are only waiting for her to kick the bucket so they can have her house which is worth nothing because it is in a property next to her dear brother's houses, an enclosed property that no one in their right mind would buy. You reap what you sow.
What is not worth it is not knowing how to prevent them when you don't want them and choosing the wrong person to have kids with
Pretty mommy
Your so beautiful 😊
Divorced 2 years, stillbirth 3 years ago, childfree by choice now. Man free as well. Likely will not marry again. Had my fallopian tubes removed. My life's never been better.
I'll never judge a woman who is being honest and needs to talk. It's hard being a woman no matter what's going on in your life. We need to stop being against each other.
You look well rested and beautiful!
Hair 🥰. You look sooooo cute
Ehhhh I have a 6 year old .. I wouldnt say not worth it. I would say if you're not ready dont rush it. I only have one child and I have no regrets or anything having him. I just feel like I dont want another child , im up and age and just dont want another child 🤷🏾♀️. My life changed but not stressful for me but i know everyones life is different... i would never say motherhood isnt "worth it " i would just say if your not ready thats ok & if you are get ready because its alot of work! I feel like nowadays people have kids when their already not finically stabled or have the mental capacity to intake motherhood , which is ok but people need to actually make sure their ready to have a child and not just have one.
Hmmm I don’t think it’s down to being ready or not I think it’s down to whether you want kids or not and whether you’re self aware enough to know whether kids for into your life.
It’s like you’re trying to say those who don’t want children simply aren’t ready for it which is wrong.
Motherhood is absolutely worth it to me . Yes, being a mother can be hard . I get tired sometimes but my daughter ,is the LOVE OF MY LIFE. I never felt love, like I do, from my daughter. She motivates me to be better and push harder ,even when I don't want to . I want to create the best life for her possible. When I cry she was wipes my tears and tells me "Mommy everything will be ok." She is my best friend and couldn't imagine life without her ❤
I have a daughter and it's not like that for every mom though! Their feelings are still valid. I love my daughter to the moon and back but if I could go back I would not have been a mom!!
@Misandrist777 I never said their feelings, aren't valid. I'm just saying how I feel personally . I don't regret my child.
I was/am that daughter for my mom and it made me exhausted before I even started my own life. It's sweet but be careful that she doesn't spend her time trying to make you happy, it's not her responsibility. ❤
@@user-ip5fm3ck4p exactly !
@@user-ip5fm3ck4p This was sweet until she wrote about her daughter wiping her tears and being her emotional support. We really undermine how many women have children so they can have a little companion and someone to love them unconditionally and not neccesarily that they have a life to offer the child.
I mean if you lack leadership skills and do doing a good job at mothering, just say that..
Hair plug sis please😍from?
Girl please fix your audio
Maybe she can think about pursuing some hobby or personal interest outside of her husband and child, for herself.
Yeah, good luck finding time for that
A lot of these stories will come back to haunt these mothers. Their same children will create the "I hate my narc mother..." vids and rightfully so.
If you had pleasure in laying down and having children, have pleasure in the highs and lows. You should know the pros and cons of having children and decide responsibly.
Now, they have every right to feel, experience, and process their emotions... and cope in a healthy manner
If mothers don’t speak about this honestly, young women will continue to fall into this trap as they have for generations. We will never see change if we can’t even acknowledge that there is a problem.
I think many Moms feel as the first woman in the video does....it's not her child she hates, it's the journey and self sacrifice of motherhood itself. In many ways, "you" cease to exist, everything you do is now for your child. It's not a sacrifice every woman should make, especially those with mental health concerns...
Except the mother isn’t a narc for simply being human lol. If that spoiled ass grown narc child can’t empathize with their mom then that’s on them… 🤷🏽♀️
I’m grown and I can understand how motherhood took a lot away from my mother.
Women aren’t obligated to have pleasure in “the highs and lows” lol. Women aren’t obligated to simply suffer in silence because you want them to… we’ve done enough of that.
@@corimoon3360 did I say that all of them are narcs?... or did you want me to specify "some.?" I shouldn't have to... let's read for comprehension 😎
@@corimoon3360
Don't get me wrong, I don't believe the mother was being a narc either. I agree with you there. BUT...how is the child a "narc" when they never asked, nor chose, nor consented, to be born in the first place???
It wouldn't matter if the kid was grown or not. So I'm not sure why the child would have to empathize with something they're not at fault for.