QUANTUM CONUNDRUM (Zero Punctuation)
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- Опубліковано 9 лют 2025
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This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Quantum Conundrum and also Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor.
Fast-talking Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw reviews a new game each week in this animated series that combines informed critique with cutting humor. Watch the next episode of Zero Punctuation a week early, only on The Escapist.
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Such a shame I didn't hear about the escapist expo happening 20 miles down the road from me until 3 years after it took place.
So wait your in Australia , cool
I was accross the world from it, but that must have been a kick in the balls :/
It's okay he said "Not you, the pretty one".
@@zabaoth rekt
"playing games is your job, whether they're good or not
if you have any self respect you'll play it till the end.
so anyway quantum conundrum"
that was genius XD
why
@Urrcreavesh i posted this comment 3 years ago. I have literally no recollection of this and no idea what any of these are in reference to lol
@@imasiontist653about that...
I need that ending bit as a forum weapon.
Between this and Discord once has to wonder if John de lancey is not tired of been called to play Q over and over again under a different name
Fun Fact!
Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor is done by From Software. Yeah. As in the guys that made Demon's Souls and Dark Souls.
and tenchu z , we need a tenchu z2
And armored core
Really? From By Software? I mean by From Software? Christ that's a shitty name
"Steel Battalion" a game so horrible, it didn't even make the review title.
but still made it to the bottom 5 that year
+Parallax77 even though he barely reviewed it
He spent all of 46 seconds reviewing it. Out of a 5 minute video. And yet that's all he _needed_ to know it's shit.
It shares honor with Blade X.
"The tutorial went by all right - move the vehicle with the controller and use Kinect to operate the cockpit levers - but the moment I got into an actual mission, fucking Christ! It was like jumping to Expert Freebird on your first morning of Guitar Hero lessons." lol
I consider myself a PC Gamer. I use Steam more than I use air, I love the fact that my one system can play everything from Thief to Deus Ex to Mass Effect to Dragon Age - you get the idea.
But I have had every. single. fucking. problem. with. every. single. fucking. game. on PC. Without fail. I have had this both on my older computer and on my top-of-the-line rig I got recently. And every single 'helpful' PC Master Race gamer acts just like that shitfucker Yahtzee described.
How fitting the voice behind Discord was involved in such a wreck.
"I am trust worthy!" "No you're not."
50 bucks that right speaker is the one Glados is talking out of us.
Maybe the slomo dimension is when the bartender put something strange in the glass while you were looking away.
1:40 I love John De Lancie's voice acting. Was so happy to hear him in SC2 Legacy of the void.
4:52 ... Whoever said that... Can jump in a hole... With fire and spikes in it... "Oooh if you can't code in Javascript you don't deserve to be a PC gamer." Eat crap... Ok, let's see what Yahtzee says...
5:00 Thank you.
I love this review. Whenever someone tells me I need better hardware after I complain about poor software performance I give them a link to this video. I've seriously lost track of how many Steam games I've bought where I had nearly double the recommended hardware specs and yet the game still ran like shit down a wall made of thumb tacks.
5:00 I just love this part. I cannot stop playing it.
"And the Slow Motion dimension, where this analogy breaks down."
I broke my ribcage laughing.
Question, can i use any type of engineer souls to fuel my computer or do they HAVE to be microsoft... then again if i feed it EA employees they'll charge a login fee everytime
Kakeyio Microsoft engineers usually works best but any will do
I wouldn't even bother trying Apple engineers, they'll just make everything look good without putting in any performance to back it up
Actually EA engineers souls are quite inexpensive and have rather good performance just chain them up properly so that they don't escape and just steer clear from marketing souls as they are the ones that'll charge login fees
That bit with the safes you did wrong. You have to make them all heavy, so they fall through the lasers and align themselves on the ground. Then make them float enough to get momentum, then quickly make them all heavy to avoid lasers on their way up. Then finally slow mo them as they fall (perfectly aligned) and hop across them all. I know this review is from years ago, but I've been playing this game on PC recently and loving it; and just wanted to clear that up!
Yahtzee sums up my opinion on PC elitists well
>John De Lancie
>Logic-defying shenanigans in surrealist environments
Anyone else see a rather… _chaotic_ pattern here?
hohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
TheTrueCheeseMaster I don't go to 4chan.
TheTrueCheeseMaster No, seriously. I don't.
@@Kemonokami It's okay to not get something without blaming it on 4chan.
OMG the best ending ever :P
xD
Sure was, Ms. Fluttershy :3
herp derpington
[retracted]
nooo, you dont understand, my old profile picture was fluttershy, thats why he posted it, sorry for the confusion
My bad then. I retract my comment and wish you all a good day.
4:59 Yahtzee says what we all wanted to say since the dawn of the internet.
Hats off for calling out those elitist snobs that systematically make me take a step back from pc gaming every time I come around to it
Man you know its an old video when Yahtzee jokes about TF2 getting too much attention from Valve
As a TF2 player, It's also just sad ;-;
Is there such thing as a member of the PC master race that plays older PC games that can run on common rigs?
Rc Cooper yes, you are the knights that protect our sacred order
Rc Cooper Yes. It's called somebody with a firm grasp on financial responsibility.
Jerry Peet You sir... have hit the nail on the head.
Rc Cooper yeah man, xcom ufo defense is my shit
***** With me it was like - My PC sucked balls and I was forced to play older games which didnt make my bitch old rig to spontaneous combust. But when I finally got a better PC I crawl out my stinky hole... and went back in it. I mean, the only new game I played, that my older machine would not handle, was Wolfenstein New Order. The rest didnt tickle me the right way. Its just there so many awesome classic games that I never played (recently I have begin my first walkthrough of Thief Dark Project) that why should I bother with some modern ones that are not that good?
I have another issue with this game that wasn't touched on here. Namely, the script for the voice-over has no creativity at all; Professor Quadrangle cannot hold a candle to GLaDOS in terms of character. Just compare their lines side by side:
- "That's a macguffin machine! It dispenses thingies to use with your object-manipulator!"
versus:
- "Contact with the floor of the facility will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your progress report, followed by death."
Did you take that from Extra Credits?
VanguardFencer Nice, you watch that show too! The stuff they come up with is just great, isn't it?
NickNiccelson Yeah. Its pretty interesting.
i read the second line in glados voice, without noticing i did
8 years ago .. oh my god
You will be happy to hear that most of the bugs and problems Yahtzee described, have been solved! The game is now golden!
You know, I've never had a problem with First Person Precision Platforming. Here's how I do it: I look down as I'm jumping. That way, I can see the thing I'm landing on.
There. Now you'll never cock it up again.
That moment you realize that Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor was made by the same studio that made one of the best video game series of all time with the Souls games and Bloodborne.
Yes. It feels like someone looked at their Armored Core series and said lets make this thing infinitely worse by forcing motion controls into a perfectly passable game.
That last message felt really good, that’s the dude that started “pc master race” for you
What if dare I say. We show the player's lower body???!?!?!
+Hiker Wolfspaine Games like this should just use third person view. If your character has to jump a lot, then don't make it in first person view.
Try playing this game with bad depth perceptiona and a shitty pc, yeah that was fun. although I have never had a problem with first person platforming and I don't see how seeing my legs could help but hey what do I know?
I think fundamentally there's perhaps a nuanced skill that for most of the time is so irreverent to the average gamer that nobody picked up on it. Like, for example since I almost always play first person games, I've kinda gotten good at first-person platforming, the key being short iteration times and nothing better to play than minecraft, and to track the platform you're landing on with a mouse so that you should be looking directly down at it
in the immortal words of Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw BURN THE HERETIC
Mirror's Edge realized that first-person platforming needs legs to work, even though Yahtzee didn't like it.
I have to say it's amazing how the man who was Wesley can now be quoted as a reliable and fantastic person.
Yahtzee, valve employees don't make hats for TF2 anymore. They're too busy nerfing good weapons and coming up with excuses for ticket-based updates.
PCGamer did an article back in February when the new consoles' specs were released, and they built a computer based on the theorized cost (500 dollars). For around 600-700 dollars, they built a PC that doubled the performance of the next-gens.
"you are a CONT you live in a CONTY house and you drive a CONTY car!" XD i love you yahtzee for this very reason.
I found my comeback to PC snobs. Thank you, Yahtzee.
I had none of Yahtzee's problems when I got it on the 360, so you're probably best off getting it on that.
It depends on your computer, not everyone has the same one
True, but everybody has the same Xbox, so for sheer reliability, a console might be the way to go.
*Shrugs* A lot of factors can go into it, I guess.
A shitty pc port is no reason to buy a console.
I certainly wouldn't buy a console just for this. I'm just saying that QC would be better on a console than PC.
Radio shack, Walmart, and micro center have DVI to HDMI. if you google it a ton of cables come up lol.
You, sir, are amazing, your wording impeccable, your points unshakable. Have my like.
his last sentence matches rhythm with the outro
I actually liked this game...
"Like a man with no arms and no legs can interact in everyday life if you strap him to a luggage trolly." I cried of laughter
the like bar is blue,what the fuck
I know right? We have enough blue on Facebook. IT SHOULD BE GREEN! With RED for dislikes. Or stars!
I remember the 5-star system, those were the days.
***** I remeber when you couldn't reply to people... 3 days ago.
Fijiboy99 I remember when putting a time like ( 0:35 ) in a comment didn't open up a new tab in Firefox, or was useless.
thenecromorpher just pressed it and it didn't even move to 0:35, just reloaded the page.
I don't know what you're saying but I like how it's put together.
To the people who say that the PC GAMING MASTER RACE is only those assholes who say that your computer has to be powered by antimatter, and the penis of Ron Jeremy; we are not all that. Those people make up about 5% of the fanbase. The rest of us are normal gamers who dont feel the need to have that.
if my PC was powered by Ron Jeremy's penis i could run Crysis on maximum
Harrison Visser If my PC was powered by Ron Jeremy's penis I could run Crysis at all!
TheZaz969 wasn't the whole point of the term PC master race to take the piss out of the assholes who think your PC should be powered by antimatter and that sorta thing?
Nahhhh, stop talking out of your arse. 5 percent my bollocks! Is that was the case then PC gaming wouldn't be viewed as unapproachable as it is today. I know friends who avoid PC gaming since the environment and community is just a sewage pit of human filth. The 5 percent are the normal people who are not arseholes, PC gaming might have much more content but I would rather play Overwatch on PS4 than TF2 on PC since I know that the people on Overwatch don't have a need to throw their ego at everyone to make up for the fact they have no other significant accomplishment in their lives.
Charlie Brown k.
the ten foot runup killed me.
To say that the one dude represents the PC master race is like saying that one shouty 8-year old represents console owners or that Hitler represents all Christians.
PonzooonTheGreat I think you shouldn't have to be pestered and made fun of on the Internet for using any one platform for gaming. I like to think of myself as a guy who plays video games, not a console gamer or a pc gamer. I use both, I just use pc a little more.
Ben Ackerman The console market harms the gaming landscape.
And no one *prefers* a poorer gaming experience for more money.
PonzooonTheGreat I still think we should be able to choose.
Ben Ackerman Sure. Let the console players be suckered.
PonzooonTheGreat Well, if they're dumb enough to pick poison over dog shit, let them.
Camera based motion recognition software is relatively new and dedicated hardware for it more so...
I thought I clicked on the wrong video at first
0:34 my god yahtzee that brings to me such sweet memories of guitar hero 2 I am lolling so much XD
portal without portals
THEY ARE STILL MAKING HATS!
This game was great, i loved it.
Too bad he didn't.
1:12 that is one "familiar" fez he is stitching up
dat ending XD
That has to be the best analogy yet.
"Shame on you," came a reply, "playing games is your job, regardless of their quality. If you have any self-respect, you'll stick with it."
So anyway, Quantum Conundrum is a game available on Steam that comes to us from Kim Swift, "
I've honestly never heard of a turner card. Though I'm not surprised that something like that exists.
PC master race? Why not Zoidberg master race? (V) (;,,;) (V)
Become a zoidberg today! (V) (:..:) (V)
Pete Detrick whooop whoooop
Because zoidberg can’t run next gen games at a constant 60 FPS
Whoop whoop
You would think the slow motion dimension would be a mixture of pain killers and what ever alcohol Max drinks.
John De Lancie's in this game.
I'm surprised that there are no bronies in the comments.
The thought _did_ cross my mind... But now a new thought, what have you done!? And another thought, I'm just as surprised as you that there are no comments on it. Guess me and you are the only two who know about it.
TH3C001 Suddenly a dam breaks somewhere, and millions of ponies start flooding into the streets of this video.
Discord? I- is that you? Im gonna tell all my friends and they will tell all thier friends and so on and we shall take over the comment section!!!!!!
fbgp69... It begins.
Raysiclove Damn it man, we've got other voice actors to stalk.We can't be everywhere at once.
Love the limerick at the end XD
download is not install time (i was talking about install time), and you can buy a hard copy if you want from game stop or wherever just like console.
literally only bloom, motion blur, and resolution exist as the graphics settings.
Love Yahtzee's description of the dimensions 1:47
Nice rhyme at the end.
I had a bunch of issues with Slow Mo too until i got a better computer.
~The sign painter.
Now that you mention it, I'd be totally up for that!
Agree. I stand by the philosophy of "the one who sells cheap sells a lot" though. If games started costing less it would hurt piracy a lot.
that last thing he said about people who either know how to mod unreal engine or have some kind of computer powered by WHATEVER.. that is completely true..
I do believe his bluff has been called. Well played, my good sir.
"Glorious PC Gaming Master Race" is pretty damned tongue-in-cheek, at least when I use it.
And it's the internet, so of course it'll have dark roots.
Mine was cheap and it can be used as a tv as well.
Its a rather old monitor though.
you can use USB port as well to transfer from external hardrive. my point is that you are adding unnecessary costs(monitor) to make your case look stronger
Funny thing is, this game got a TF2 promo hat.
4:38 That picture of Einstein makes me laugh every time i see it
I have a idea that Yahtzee could of used for the drinks trolley thing.
And the PCP-Laced vodka shot for the slow motion dimension.
Great ending haha, can always rely on Yahtzee to rip down pretension and snobbery :)
Why would you leave Valve? From what I hear, Gabe is a really cool boss and the actual working on of games is enjoyable and pays out the ass. Not to mention, if you wanted to make a cartoony first person game I imagine you would get the greenlight.
I love his message to the forum poster.
Just. Thank you so much. ;~;
Full of exclusives with a chance of soft rain.
That's true but I think they do more often than not, also the same studio or creator could make a new game.
I have heard such argument before but I think it's a falacy since a pirate is more than likely going to get a newly released game pirated as well while someone who gets a used game and enjoys it is more prone to get the next release (sequel, prequel, studio's next, creator's next, whatever) new and original.
It took me all these 11 years to beat this game. I think running through it all at once would sour your opinion of it.
can we stop and appreciate the fact that Yahtzee did two reviews in one video. pretty super cass ayyy take the twix
People who buy a used game and enjoy it is more than likely going to share it with his friends and all of them are going to be potential customers for a new game in such franchise or from the same studio. Also game retailers get a profit off of used copies so it helps them stay on bussines as well as keeping the industry.
The Slo-Mo dimension must be the speed-dimension, cause when youre on speed, everything just goes so much slower than you
Same thing with a console if you dont buy/have a TV to go with it. Most of the time when I get a computer I dont need to buy a monitor, keyboard or mouse because I already have them from my last one and am just upgrading the tech/case.
as an avid console and pc player, i find that games are more stable on consoles too at the expense of graphics though. On pc fps drops are way more common even if that is because few games vsync to 30
2:30 "Since you're all so crushingly obvious, you're probably thinking 'A comedy puzzle game by a Portal creator voiced by Q from Star Trek? My money cannot exit my wallet fast enough!" And fair dos, it was at this point that I bought the game, and I rather enjoyed it until I hit a puzzle I didn't know how to solve and got bored of it.
that is because all of those that you just mentioned can AFFORD to use one. if you don't have money you don't NEED to buy a monitor and could use TV which you also need if you wanna use console.
Amen. Plus there's a particular sense of satisfaction when you build your own computer from the ground up. I'm still using parts from plenty of years ago, and it still runs circles around any game I throw at it, granted that the game isn't a crappy glitchy port.
I never said it would... You said it won't run higher end stuff now, AND IT DOES.
Pretty much what I thought of the game. Physics aside, if you are making a game based around first person platforming you have to make sure the players entire body is visible, have ledge mantling, and midair control.
Well after this review I can say that the game has been fixed and is a very enjoyable experience
i was going to say something than i saw your pic and started crying....well played
1. You can plug a computer into a TV and play it with friends on your couch.
2. you can use controllers just like consoles on a PC.
3. You do need to upgrade a console every few years with the next generation on consoles, and its more expensive then building a computer that is twice as strong as the console every time.
4. installing games takes like >5 mins lol.
The legitimate reasons for liking a console more is the easy interface, and exclusives like halo and others.
I pretty much played that last part over and over and over and over and over again.
Now, I played portal recently and I didn't think I was going to like it. But after playing it, I fell in love with the portals. Portal 2's 4 portals was somewhat better, but i think that portal is still amazing, even after playing only one level. QC is still really good, but I still think that Yahtzee was right with the gameplay parts of it. I still like the dimensional shifting better for my kind of thinking.
Hope so.