Ok. I apologize for another long rant in advance. I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder in my 20's (schizoaffective is a mix between bipolar and schizophrenia), i have been into Buddhism and practicing zazen since my late teens. Some might say I've had a hard life, drug and alcohol addiction, ive been assaulted more than once, died and got resuscitated, homelessness, ect.. I found myself in a crisis house located in a tiny little shit hole town in socal, about a mile from the boarder. They started teaching us DBT or Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. I was blown away by it. It was pretty much Zen 101. They even had a worksheet that illustrated the middle path. I looked into DBT later and found that it way created by a psychologist who herself, was a zen practitioner. I even had an "experience" there. One morning I was mopping the wooden floor, and all of existence kinda disappeared. It was just me, the floor, steaming soapy water and a mop. I "died into it"... Nothing else existed. The task i was doing seemed like the most profound and simple thing to do. A couple years later, married the love of my life, had a baby boy. 10 years later, my son and I were hit by a drunk driver. I was fine, he unfortunately was not, and i watched him leave this life before help could get there. My wife left me shortly after, ahe said i looked to much like our son and couldn't take it but who knows wit dees broads ya'know wha m sayin'? I was crushed, suicidal, utterly beoken. Like when you see that person in the street practically naked, smeared in filth, screaming at god... that was me. I found myself in my early 40's crazy, grief stricken and homeless again. Alone, scared, sober (so i couldn't even run to substances for refuge), and utterly lost. Somehow i had continued doing zazen. Im a lay person, no formal training except from a little while at a Soto center. So books and videos were my only guidance. I read a book, about 600 pages, called "The History of Zen" . When the author started reading the Chan masters teachings, something in my mind said "now this makes sense! I don't understand why, but I Get This..." (did i mention i have schizophrenia 😂😂😂). I made a deal. I said "Buddha, the universe, the tao, God, whatever this is, whatever WE is, if you put the next step in front of me, i promise i will muster the courage to take it. I will follow the path that you present. " Since then i just celebrated 7 years clean and sober, started working with NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) rhe largest mental health non-profit in the US. I do panels for local law enforcement, the FBI, medical universities, the electric company (IDK why). And just last week got certified as a Mental Health Peer Specialist with the Department of Health in my state. Somehow life keeps putting little opportunities in front of me and just try to be brave enough to trust, and step. Zazen (whether doing it in a cozy room, or in the rain, sitting on the piss covered pavement of an ally in the bowels of some forsaken part of the city) did not cure my mental illness (the schizoaffective will always just be a additional ingredient to my personal dukkah gumbo) But what zazen DID give me was a little distance from Self. I got pretty good at just observing my mind without engaging with the thoughts. Now when i feel something negative I say to myself "this is the flavor of life people call anger, this is a feeling, this feeling will pass, like ALL feelings it is transient. " When my father tells me a story of his youth, or I'm laughing at one of my Mom's dumb jokes I say "don't take out your phone and record this, burn it into your mind, your being, like your son and wife, and all things... this is transient and WILL one day be gone. CHERISH THIS MOMENT!". TL;DR Zazen over the years taught me how to observe what is going on in my brain, which has led me to be able to explain what a psychotic episode is like to people who don't understand helping cops not shooting people for being crazy. Again, sorry for being so long winded. And not quite sure how this fits in with the vid, i dont have any friends that give 2 flying felines about Buddhism or Zen. So i vent to you. You put yourself on UA-cam. This is what happens...😂 P.S. I think this is why I get so much out of yours and Brad's books that are memoir style. I can read Dogen all day and be puzzled. But trying to be a good Buddhist when all you want to do is get high and go to a massage parlor...now THAT I CAN RELATE TO 😂😂😂 As always, love your work. Great vid!
@zenconfidential25 I've been told that sharing one's personal experience is a powerful thing. It's what they do in AA, it's what you and Brad do, it's even what the core (in my opinion, I'm no expert) of the Dharma is. From what I understand, Gautama had it made. Then realized "I still suffer...🤔". He left home and tried a few things (to the extreme). Then one morning saw the morning star, ate some rice, probably got it on with a milk maid, and decided, extremes are not helping. The middle way seems the least painful. Then he shared that (life experience) with anyone who was willing to listen. Even the weirdo with the finger necklace. Everyone's experience is important. Everyone's story is a skhanda in the universe's Self... Or not. Like I said I'm a pretty bad Buddhist with no formal training and severe mental illness 🤣😜 WTF do I know. I'm glad you got something from my story. I have gotten SO much from your work. 🙏
Wow, this one opened my heart a lot. I worked as a professor at a couple o American colleges for nearly 20 years and watched as they bullied and demonstrated authoritarian behavior under the guise of "inclusivity". I come from a very hight trauma background; which informs how quickly my heart closes when I perceive that others are trying to control me, it's also a great way to get your ass kicked in my world. Buddhism has probably kept me from prison or suicide when I was a young woman. Today, when people use 'mindfulness' to gaslight, it really pisses me off. I don't lower my standards, and I can have an open heart. The question is, can I have an open-heart for people who think their heart is open when it's not...that's my grapple these days. Thanks for your story, friend! BTW, I'm not directing this at you, I don't know you, I'm reflecting on what your vulnerable post has done to open my heart❤🔥
One thing Tim McCarthy (Brad's teacher) used to say is that if you are into the practice to feel good, you would get better results taking drugs and masterbatinc. If you can simply observe your thoughts, you are on the right path. There is no front of the line in the enlightenment business.
@@newpilgrim "can I have an open-heart for people who think their heart is open when it's not" Anything, even "having an open heart" can be co-opted for nefarious purposes. A Buddhist once said that the way you treat a demon is to offer it some tea, but don't invite it to stay. You can have compassion for such people, but you shouldn't let yourself be in a position where you have to tolerate their bullshit.
I saw Brad's video where he stole your metaphor. It was a good video. Of course this was also a good video. You should get back in that library and think up some more metaphors that Brad can steal.
Don't worry Brad. I seem to remember, "A tree bending in the wind.. or the bending and not breaking tree metaphor from elsewhere.. There are no new ideas right? It's only stealing if you take an idea and make it worse. Now that's offensive! You know, like they do in bad Karaoke.
Aren’t we all, whether conscious of it or not, simply managing our suffering as best we can? It’s clear to me that my life is mostly about misery management; coping as best I can without damaging myself or anyone else too much.
You should have nothing to say more often - i think i just heard, dare i say, true wisdom... told to you by twisted trees... one of the best explanations of Zen i have ever heard ... you went out on a limb (pun intended) and just let go... beautiful ❤
Hello my dear friend!! Your latest Haiku arrived in the mail and it is one of the most beautiful yet, along with your tender and kind letter. Thank you.
I came to a similar conclusion a few years ago on a trip back to the states. I realized that everyone was crazy (myself included) and that we were all trying to deal with that craziness and anxiety in different ways. Some were obsessed with money, some wanted to get back to an untrammeled garden of Eden, some were abusing alcohol and drugs. I was high on Zen Buddhism and couldn't shut up about it. The high has since worn off, but I still see value in the practice. The good thing about Zen is that it cleans up after itself and leaves nothing behind. Then, if we're lucky, we can express our full crooked-treeness with the kindness and ferocity that it requires.
I like when you talk on the run.. When did human beings not have anxiety? Maybe the key is just realizing that anxiety can be helpful if not run from at every step. If you consider that the anxiety is actually helping you, maybe it actually will.. We all like to judge people. Our entire human pre-education education is learning that skill. Once you realize that all of us are in a similar boat, all of us making stupid judgements, it gets easier. Like you said, it's the older you get and the longer you practice.. Not to slight Zen but I'm starting to think that getting older with a little openness is maybe all we have ever needed.
I like when you lower your standards! I feel you are more authentic, I even felt the cold and the wind and the freezing water and the coming and going to the library to warm myself/yourself. It is a good practice to lower our standard, ... thank you so much also for the metaphor of the trees
Apparantly the tree was partially disrooted once and managed to continue growing with the remaining roots. What nearly kills us does not making us necessarily stronger but leaves us in a different and sometimes remarkable shape.
I really have quarrels about the whole "good for nothing" part since I've heard of it. I've been thinking about this problem just yesterday so I find it a lucky coincidence. So I've been talking to a lot of Vajrayana folks and read some books etc and I'd really say it helped me in life. However, I really don't get the privation aspect of Buddhism as an endgame, the emptiness and whatnot. This is hard for me to figure out especially because all the practice and teachings help me be a better person in my "worldly" life. Any time I apply some Buddhist principle, I become a better student, friend, son, colleague, boyfriend etc. What bugs me is that I still fall short in the eyes of doctrine; I just fall short 'less' than someone who is an anxious, stuck-up Catholic as you say. I really want to be a better person but I want to be in the world - I want to pursue a career in aerospace engineering, I'm on the way to publishing articles in journals, I want to create a family. In other words, those are pretty non-dharma things, no? I figure if I really wanted to devote myself to "zazen" or experiencing "mu" I'd just go into a forest and get on with it 24/7, but I don't. I have desires I affirm 100% and I'm wondering how come Buddhism helps me realize them instead of leading me to raking pebbles - does that mean I'm doing it wrong? So I'd like to hear two cents on the matter because you have not only way more practice but way more life experience, as I'm in my 20s. Thanks and take care.
You sound like a very healthy individual with a great practice. The term good for nothing simply means, for me, that if one begins to get just a little bit greedy with Zen… The practice will somehow not “work.” I don’t think, or it doesn’t sound to me, like you are being greedy, like you are using Buddhism in a very clearly acquisitive way to get something out of life. It sounds to me like you’re using Buddhism to find balance and peace of mind, as a spiritual practice. Keep it up!
I’m not anxious about anything anymore. My concern is that I reconnect with people first, then spirituality second. Mostly, I expect nothing from anyone. There are things I want to do; I work a little each day toward those things. Death is coming but life is here and now. Get out there, meditate, make love, meet people, socialize, and do not call failure - failure. It is a lesson to show us how to improve our, and maybe others, conditions. Now, don’t take our selves seriously. I’m familiar with where you went. Cool
Was really happy to hear a bit of your perspective on this topic. One of the things that keeps bugging me about Buddhism in general is that very often people try to "sell" it by presenting it as a path that will basically give you a happy life (well, even Buddha himself did something like this), and I'm always like "uuuhhhh first - I'm not so sure that's necessarily true, and second - are you sure it's the best/only strategy for dealing with the human condition?"
Same same same, thank you!! Buddhism -- and maybe I also fall prey to this -- is so often co-opted and sold as some kind of life-enhancer or product or tool to hack your way into happiness etc. Ugh. ;)
Hi , thanks for this video. Please don’t be dazzled by the wonder of psychiatric medication, being on some for a time and from my experience as a therapist, these meds have a price, my personal experience is that they estranged me from myself , and with given time , I started to develop a hybrid personality but it always felt pervasive. Now comes the disclaimer : Of course that in many psychiatric conditions , neurodivergence’s and personality disorders, the benefits of medication surpass the cost. While I understand the importance of : zazen is good for nothing , I must say that sitting and burning with anxiety have helped me not to get over enmeshed in it and overtaken by it, Its just there, the pain, like every thing else … Zazen made a big change for me in that regard.
Interesting line of thought you illustrate here. As someone who has been through the medical health pipeline myself, I've grown to dislike it more and more over time. Not that I think it doesn't help people who truly need it, but it never really ameliorated the issues I experienced. One problem I have is that anything that changes the way you view yourself can have profound effects on your behavior and mental state. The human mind likes to skew towards consistency and hates being shaken out of any interpretive framework that it relies on, and this is particularly true with how people identify themselves. If you consider yourself to be an "anxious person," then you're more likely to behave in a way you believe and anxious person would. The same for someone who sees his or herself as a "depressed person." I personally fell into this trap a long time ago, not only with mental health, but in other facets of life too, and I feel I wasted years of my life missing opportunities because I was too buy wallowing in self-loathing and learned helplessness. Once I realized that my circumstances weren't permanent and that I could change them, I was able to (largely) shake myself out of my mental woes. Fully healing would take quite some time, of course, but I feel confident in my mental stability now. Eventually I found Buddhism and I now feel I understand the context of all this better than I ever did before. I think many individuals get caught up in an eternalist attitude around a fixed "self" that they need to discover and work towards cultivating, but in truth the amount a person can change in even a short amount of time is staggering (for better of for worse!). I know there are people who really do need medication for whatever malady is afflicting them, but I also believe that some (like me in the past) have gotten stuck in one particular way of seeing things. It can be good to understand that your mind has certain tendencies so you can be mindful not to fall into them, but the way many in the younger generations seem to internalize their (often self-) diagnoses is likely causing more problems than it solves. Moreover, I believe the Buddha-dharma to be more powerful than most give it credit for. It really reshapes the world around you in profound ways, sometimes without you even realizing it. Even just a small amount of exposure can lead to gigantic benefits. It's for this reason that I hope more people can learn about Buddhism, read the sutras, etc. Anyway, thanks for the vid! It really got me thinking (obviously lol)
And medication doesn't always work, or sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. Or the secondary effects are just as bad as or worse than the original malady.
@@OKSezMe Antidepressants kinda worked for me for a short time, but overall I felt like they dulled my brain and ended up making me miserable in a different way lol.
As a longtime Buddhist practitioner who lives with ADD, I have found a limited use of medication has been quite helpful. Funny that attention deficit has led to a practice of Paying Attention.
I like the way you’re thinking through this a lot!! 😸 To a degree we can think of the Buddha’s first actions as medicalizing the cessation of suffering. A lot of traditions like to refer to his teachings as “medicine” and to him as a “doctor.” He outlines diagnoses for different kinds of mental suffering, and outlines various methods for their cessation throughout the different buddhisms. I agree that there are downsides to this “I AM ADD” layman’s understanding of mental health stuff, too… although I do somewhat ascribe to it, as well. 😖 It definitely feels better than what I grew up with, which I KNEW was wrong: “you are LAZY!” or “you SECRETLY DON’T CARE!” If anything I was just always in fight-or-flight, tbqh… trauma will show the symptoms of basically whatever mental illness it decides to show up to work as that day… lol. The lens of mental illness can be a compassionate way of looking at human suffering, although sometimes that particular lens does have its own stigmatizing power. It certainly doesn’t always help people when they’re labeled “mentally ill” in some way by their family or friends that leads those people to see that not as the beginning of a process of discovery and healing, but more like the stamping “DEFECTIVE” on a product…
I like it. As my old teacher used to say...things are just as they are...but in French...les choses sont comme elles sont...which can sound a bit bypassy and dismissive, but has some fundamental spiritual value somewhere!! I think that's probably relevant here, but maybe not!! 😂 Thanks for the vid, I enjoyed it!
J. Krishnamurti was in his 80s and someone asked him why he was still giving talks so he replied, “Why do flowers give off perfume?” They just do. Why do we sit? We just do… or not… don’t know.
The tree does not have other trees telling it that you are shaped wrong and get surgery to look like a "proper" looking tree! 😊 "You ain't going to make money looking like that!"
I actually think generally speaking that people are moving away from spiritual practice towards medication because spiritual practice is so outdated and unrealistic. We live in a scientific age. Atheism is one of the largest growing denominations within developed countries. As we grow smarter it becomes harder to believe in the falsehoods that abound within religions. Especially since most gurus who try to adopt science fail so miserably at it. Religions all over the world are way behind the newer generations and their cryptic answers will one day no longer suffice. Which is a shame. For me this practice perfectly aligns with my scientific spirit. But that is because I dropped religion and used science to shape my practice. Like take reincarnation the soul an afterlife a God etc. These answers worked before the scientific age came to be. But now that we have science we can tell that maybe these enlightened people are not as enlightened as they think since they are full of so many beliefs that do not agree with reality. So why should they bother to learn from someone that can't even tell what is and is not real. Take delson armstrong. His first video on guruviking was good. The 2nd one though he goes on some delusional rant about how he has lived past lives and how he asked his father one day if they had met before he had been born and his father replied yes. That's delusional. But if you ask religious people it's not delusional. If delson says so it must be true. That's a problem. It shows how easily the religious can be manipulated into delusion. How a guru can use their position to reinforce misinformation. As more and more become aware of this more and more will become skeptical of any claims made by gurus. Like the boy that cried wolf the village can only take so much before inevitably they stop believing in the boy. I was not religious. I was honest and thorough in my practice. I also had no teacher and was self taught so I avoided manipulation. And don't you know it but what I found through my practice is actually mirrored in science. Hence why I decided science was the best model. They don't study things that are unfalsifiable and neither do I. But unfalsifiability is the bread and butter of religions. Hence why they think they have a soul or can reincarnate and I think we have a brain and our consciousness being derived from the functions of the brain dies when the brain dies. A soul is unfalsifiable reincarnation is unfalsifiable but there are ways to test if a brain is the seat of consciousness. Guess what scientists in this century are slowly starting to figure out. If you guessed that our brain is the seat of consciousness as I did then yeah that's what science is finally starting to figure out. They are slowly realizing death is actually the end not the beginning of a life. And I wager they will never find evidence of an afterlife or a God or a soul or reincarnation even after billions of years have passed. Instead they will find a brain they will find neurons they will find programs and habits. They will find we are all meat sacks. And that is all there is to us. But this is such a terrifying truth that it will take a very long time before it becomes mainstream. No one wants to die. No one wants to know their loved ones are gone. But for me this means every moment is a gift. A treasure unlike any other. Because it's finite. Maybe then they can stop living for the next life and focus on this one. Really focus. And maybe just maybe when they do insights will arise that are not delusional in nature. Since they will know where to look for such insights. Not in some imagined God or afterlife but here and now in this reality. Most people to me live as if they are waiting to die before they can truly live. I don't have that luxury.
Ok. I apologize for another long rant in advance.
I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder in my 20's (schizoaffective is a mix between bipolar and schizophrenia), i have been into Buddhism and practicing zazen since my late teens. Some might say I've had a hard life, drug and alcohol addiction, ive been assaulted more than once, died and got resuscitated, homelessness, ect.. I found myself in a crisis house located in a tiny little shit hole town in socal, about a mile from the boarder. They started teaching us DBT or Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. I was blown away by it. It was pretty much Zen 101. They even had a worksheet that illustrated the middle path. I looked into DBT later and found that it way created by a psychologist who herself, was a zen practitioner. I even had an "experience" there. One morning I was mopping the wooden floor, and all of existence kinda disappeared. It was just me, the floor, steaming soapy water and a mop. I "died into it"... Nothing else existed. The task i was doing seemed like the most profound and simple thing to do.
A couple years later, married the love of my life, had a baby boy.
10 years later, my son and I were hit by a drunk driver. I was fine, he unfortunately was not, and i watched him leave this life before help could get there. My wife left me shortly after, ahe said i looked to much like our son and couldn't take it but who knows wit dees broads ya'know wha m sayin'?
I was crushed, suicidal, utterly beoken. Like when you see that person in the street practically naked, smeared in filth, screaming at god... that was me. I found myself in my early 40's crazy, grief stricken and homeless again. Alone, scared, sober (so i couldn't even run to substances for refuge), and utterly lost. Somehow i had continued doing zazen. Im a lay person, no formal training except from a little while at a Soto center. So books and videos were my only guidance. I read a book, about 600 pages, called "The History of Zen" . When the author started reading the Chan masters teachings, something in my mind said "now this makes sense! I don't understand why, but I Get This..." (did i mention i have schizophrenia 😂😂😂).
I made a deal. I said "Buddha, the universe, the tao, God, whatever this is, whatever WE is, if you put the next step in front of me, i promise i will muster the courage to take it. I will follow the path that you present. "
Since then i just celebrated 7 years clean and sober, started working with NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) rhe largest mental health non-profit in the US. I do panels for local law enforcement, the FBI, medical universities, the electric company (IDK why). And just last week got certified as a Mental Health Peer Specialist with the Department of Health in my state. Somehow life keeps putting little opportunities in front of me and just try to be brave enough to trust, and step.
Zazen (whether doing it in a cozy room, or in the rain, sitting on the piss covered pavement of an ally in the bowels of some forsaken part of the city) did not cure my mental illness (the schizoaffective will always just be a additional ingredient to my personal dukkah gumbo) But what zazen DID give me was a little distance from Self. I got pretty good at just observing my mind without engaging with the thoughts. Now when i feel something negative I say to myself "this is the flavor of life people call anger, this is a feeling, this feeling will pass, like ALL feelings it is transient. " When my father tells me a story of his youth, or I'm laughing at one of my Mom's dumb jokes I say "don't take out your phone and record this, burn it into your mind, your being, like your son and wife, and all things... this is transient and WILL one day be gone. CHERISH THIS MOMENT!".
TL;DR Zazen over the years taught me how to observe what is going on in my brain, which has led me to be able to explain what a psychotic episode is like to people who don't understand helping cops not shooting people for being crazy.
Again, sorry for being so long winded. And not quite sure how this fits in with the vid, i dont have any friends that give 2 flying felines about Buddhism or Zen. So i vent to you. You put yourself on UA-cam. This is what happens...😂
P.S. I think this is why I get so much out of yours and Brad's books that are memoir style. I can read Dogen all day and be puzzled. But trying to be a good Buddhist when all you want to do is get high and go to a massage parlor...now THAT I CAN RELATE TO 😂😂😂
As always, love your work. Great vid!
This is the best comment I've ever gotten on a video. Hands down. Thank you, for so much.
@zenconfidential25 I've been told that sharing one's personal experience is a powerful thing. It's what they do in AA, it's what you and Brad do, it's even what the core (in my opinion, I'm no expert) of the Dharma is. From what I understand, Gautama had it made. Then realized "I still suffer...🤔". He left home and tried a few things (to the extreme). Then one morning saw the morning star, ate some rice, probably got it on with a milk maid, and decided, extremes are not helping. The middle way seems the least painful.
Then he shared that (life experience) with anyone who was willing to listen. Even the weirdo with the finger necklace.
Everyone's experience is important. Everyone's story is a skhanda in the universe's Self... Or not. Like I said I'm a pretty bad Buddhist with no formal training and severe mental illness 🤣😜 WTF do I know.
I'm glad you got something from my story. I have gotten SO much from your work. 🙏
Wow, this one opened my heart a lot. I worked as a professor at a couple o American colleges for nearly 20 years and watched as they bullied and demonstrated authoritarian behavior under the guise of "inclusivity". I come from a very hight trauma background; which informs how quickly my heart closes when I perceive that others are trying to control me, it's also a great way to get your ass kicked in my world. Buddhism has probably kept me from prison or suicide when I was a young woman. Today, when people use 'mindfulness' to gaslight, it really pisses me off. I don't lower my standards, and I can have an open heart. The question is, can I have an open-heart for people who think their heart is open when it's not...that's my grapple these days. Thanks for your story, friend! BTW, I'm not directing this at you, I don't know you, I'm reflecting on what your vulnerable post has done to open my heart❤🔥
One thing Tim McCarthy (Brad's teacher) used to say is that if you are into the practice to feel good, you would get better results taking drugs and masterbatinc. If you can simply observe your thoughts, you are on the right path. There is no front of the line in the enlightenment business.
@@newpilgrim "can I have an open-heart for people who think their heart is open when it's not"
Anything, even "having an open heart" can be co-opted for nefarious purposes. A Buddhist once said that the way you treat a demon is to offer it some tea, but don't invite it to stay. You can have compassion for such people, but you shouldn't let yourself be in a position where you have to tolerate their bullshit.
That tree metaphor is really, really good! I'm gonna steal it.
Thank you Brad! You may have it for free!! Especially because I forgot what the heck that metaphor was.
@@zenconfidential25lmao😂
I saw Brad's video where he stole your metaphor. It was a good video. Of course this was also a good video. You should get back in that library and think up some more metaphors that Brad can steal.
Don't worry Brad. I seem to remember, "A tree bending in the wind.. or the bending and not breaking tree metaphor from elsewhere.. There are no new ideas right? It's only stealing if you take an idea and make it worse. Now that's offensive! You know, like they do in bad Karaoke.
You crook ! 🤣how dare you steal from him ! 🤣
Essentially a friend I've never met but conversations I've always wanted to have
thank you my friend I’ve never met!! :)
Aren’t we all, whether conscious of it or not, simply managing our suffering as best we can? It’s clear to me that my life is mostly about misery management; coping as best I can without damaging myself or anyone else too much.
I think we are managing it as been best we can, but also trying to transform it into something. I firmly believe that.
You should have nothing to say more often - i think i just heard, dare i say, true wisdom... told to you by twisted trees... one of the best explanations of Zen i have ever heard ... you went out on a limb (pun intended) and just let go... beautiful ❤
Hello my dear friend!! Your latest Haiku arrived in the mail and it is one of the most beautiful yet, along with your tender and kind letter. Thank you.
@ 🙏
This latest Haiku goes in the Paul Engel Haiku Hall of Fame.
@ deep bow
I came to a similar conclusion a few years ago on a trip back to the states. I realized that everyone was crazy (myself included) and that we were all trying to deal with that craziness and anxiety in different ways. Some were obsessed with money, some wanted to get back to an untrammeled garden of Eden, some were abusing alcohol and drugs. I was high on Zen Buddhism and couldn't shut up about it. The high has since worn off, but I still see value in the practice.
The good thing about Zen is that it cleans up after itself and leaves nothing behind. Then, if we're lucky, we can express our full crooked-treeness with the kindness and ferocity that it requires.
Thank you my friend. Zen Buddhism DOES clean up after itself, you are right!
I like when you talk on the run..
When did human beings not have anxiety?
Maybe the key is just realizing that anxiety can be helpful if not run from at every step.
If you consider that the anxiety is actually helping you, maybe it actually will..
We all like to judge people.
Our entire human pre-education education is learning that skill.
Once you realize that all of us are in a similar boat, all of us making stupid judgements, it gets easier.
Like you said, it's the older you get and the longer you practice..
Not to slight Zen but I'm starting to think that getting older with a little openness is maybe all we have ever needed.
I like it when you write comments on the run, my friend! And I too wonder about getting older… Maybe we don’t need all that cushion time??
I like when you lower your standards! I feel you are more authentic, I even felt the cold and the wind and the freezing water and the coming and going to the library to warm myself/yourself. It is a good practice to lower our standard, ... thank you so much also for the metaphor of the trees
I appreciate that!
Apparantly the tree was partially disrooted once and managed to continue growing with the remaining roots. What nearly kills us does not making us necessarily stronger but leaves us in a different and sometimes remarkable shape.
I like that, you sum it up very well!
I really have quarrels about the whole "good for nothing" part since I've heard of it. I've been thinking about this problem just yesterday so I find it a lucky coincidence.
So I've been talking to a lot of Vajrayana folks and read some books etc and I'd really say it helped me in life. However, I really don't get the privation aspect of Buddhism as an endgame, the emptiness and whatnot. This is hard for me to figure out especially because all the practice and teachings help me be a better person in my "worldly" life. Any time I apply some Buddhist principle, I become a better student, friend, son, colleague, boyfriend etc. What bugs me is that I still fall short in the eyes of doctrine; I just fall short 'less' than someone who is an anxious, stuck-up Catholic as you say. I really want to be a better person but I want to be in the world - I want to pursue a career in aerospace engineering, I'm on the way to publishing articles in journals, I want to create a family. In other words, those are pretty non-dharma things, no? I figure if I really wanted to devote myself to "zazen" or experiencing "mu" I'd just go into a forest and get on with it 24/7, but I don't. I have desires I affirm 100% and I'm wondering how come Buddhism helps me realize them instead of leading me to raking pebbles - does that mean I'm doing it wrong? So I'd like to hear two cents on the matter because you have not only way more practice but way more life experience, as I'm in my 20s. Thanks and take care.
You sound like a very healthy individual with a great practice. The term good for nothing simply means, for me, that if one begins to get just a little bit greedy with Zen… The practice will somehow not “work.” I don’t think, or it doesn’t sound to me, like you are being greedy, like you are using Buddhism in a very clearly acquisitive way to get something out of life. It sounds to me like you’re using Buddhism to find balance and peace of mind, as a spiritual practice. Keep it up!
I like your humble authenticity
And I like yours!
You are a beautiful and inspiring tree, Jack 🌲💚 Thank you for your honesty, humour and wisdom. Love from South Australia 🐨
Wow, thank you!
I’m not anxious about anything anymore. My concern is that I reconnect with people first, then spirituality second. Mostly, I expect nothing from anyone. There are things I want to do; I work a little each day toward those things. Death is coming but life is here and now. Get out there, meditate, make love, meet people, socialize, and do not call failure - failure. It is a lesson to show us how to improve our, and maybe others, conditions. Now, don’t take our selves seriously.
I’m familiar with where you went. Cool
Thank you my friend.
Thanks, Jack. This, to my mind, is one of your best videos in a while.
Keep up the good work, brother.
Glad you enjoyed it! thank you so much dear friend.
"Everything that once connected us is slowly disappearing." - Byung Chul Han
Thank you. That man is brilliant.
"[T]he space that's between us doesn't separate us but in fact connects us." - Issan Tommy Dorsey
Yeah, Dorsey was a great priest.
Was really happy to hear a bit of your perspective on this topic. One of the things that keeps bugging me about Buddhism in general is that very often people try to "sell" it by presenting it as a path that will basically give you a happy life (well, even Buddha himself did something like this), and I'm always like "uuuhhhh first - I'm not so sure that's necessarily true, and second - are you sure it's the best/only strategy for dealing with the human condition?"
Same same same, thank you!! Buddhism -- and maybe I also fall prey to this -- is so often co-opted and sold as some kind of life-enhancer or product or tool to hack your way into happiness etc. Ugh. ;)
You always provide great insight. Even when it’s off the cuff.
That's very kind of you, thanks my friend.
Thanks for your Point of view.❤ It makes me see things differently.
I'm so glad!
Hi , thanks for this video. Please don’t be dazzled by the wonder of psychiatric medication, being on some for a time and from my experience as a therapist, these meds have a price, my personal experience is that they estranged me from myself , and with given time , I started to develop a hybrid personality but it always felt pervasive. Now comes the disclaimer : Of course that in many psychiatric conditions , neurodivergence’s and personality disorders, the benefits of medication surpass the cost.
While I understand the importance of : zazen is good for nothing , I must say that sitting and burning with anxiety have helped me not to get over enmeshed in it and overtaken
by it, Its just there, the pain, like every thing else … Zazen made a big change for me in that regard.
Wow this is really helpful and really interesting. "Estranged me from myself." I'm going to be chewing on that one for a while.
Interesting line of thought you illustrate here. As someone who has been through the medical health pipeline myself, I've grown to dislike it more and more over time. Not that I think it doesn't help people who truly need it, but it never really ameliorated the issues I experienced.
One problem I have is that anything that changes the way you view yourself can have profound effects on your behavior and mental state. The human mind likes to skew towards consistency and hates being shaken out of any interpretive framework that it relies on, and this is particularly true with how people identify themselves. If you consider yourself to be an "anxious person," then you're more likely to behave in a way you believe and anxious person would. The same for someone who sees his or herself as a "depressed person."
I personally fell into this trap a long time ago, not only with mental health, but in other facets of life too, and I feel I wasted years of my life missing opportunities because I was too buy wallowing in self-loathing and learned helplessness. Once I realized that my circumstances weren't permanent and that I could change them, I was able to (largely) shake myself out of my mental woes. Fully healing would take quite some time, of course, but I feel confident in my mental stability now.
Eventually I found Buddhism and I now feel I understand the context of all this better than I ever did before. I think many individuals get caught up in an eternalist attitude around a fixed "self" that they need to discover and work towards cultivating, but in truth the amount a person can change in even a short amount of time is staggering (for better of for worse!).
I know there are people who really do need medication for whatever malady is afflicting them, but I also believe that some (like me in the past) have gotten stuck in one particular way of seeing things. It can be good to understand that your mind has certain tendencies so you can be mindful not to fall into them, but the way many in the younger generations seem to internalize their (often self-) diagnoses is likely causing more problems than it solves.
Moreover, I believe the Buddha-dharma to be more powerful than most give it credit for. It really reshapes the world around you in profound ways, sometimes without you even realizing it. Even just a small amount of exposure can lead to gigantic benefits. It's for this reason that I hope more people can learn about Buddhism, read the sutras, etc.
Anyway, thanks for the vid! It really got me thinking (obviously lol)
This reads like a fantastic essay. I learned a great deal and was moved by reading it (twice). Thank you.
And medication doesn't always work, or sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. Or the secondary effects are just as bad as or worse than the original malady.
@@zenconfidential25 Aw, thank you very much ❤ Appreciate it!
@@OKSezMe Antidepressants kinda worked for me for a short time, but overall I felt like they dulled my brain and ended up making me miserable in a different way lol.
Thanks so much for this.
Really enjoyed it.
Glad you enjoyed it
As a longtime Buddhist practitioner who lives with ADD, I have found a limited use of medication has been quite helpful. Funny that attention deficit has led to a practice of Paying Attention.
Well put!!
I like the way you’re thinking through this a lot!! 😸
To a degree we can think of the Buddha’s first actions as medicalizing the cessation of suffering. A lot of traditions like to refer to his teachings as “medicine” and to him as a “doctor.” He outlines diagnoses for different kinds of mental suffering, and outlines various methods for their cessation throughout the different buddhisms.
I agree that there are downsides to this “I AM ADD” layman’s understanding of mental health stuff, too… although I do somewhat ascribe to it, as well. 😖 It definitely feels better than what I grew up with, which I KNEW was wrong: “you are LAZY!” or “you SECRETLY DON’T CARE!”
If anything I was just always in fight-or-flight, tbqh… trauma will show the symptoms of basically whatever mental illness it decides to show up to work as that day… lol.
The lens of mental illness can be a compassionate way of looking at human suffering, although sometimes that particular lens does have its own stigmatizing power. It certainly doesn’t always help people when they’re labeled “mentally ill” in some way by their family or friends that leads those people to see that not as the beginning of a process of discovery and healing, but more like the stamping “DEFECTIVE” on a product…
Sometimes mental illness leads you to write VERY VERY LONG COMMENTS on nice people’s UA-cam videos. 😖 God help me.
That's actually a great point, the big guy DID offer the teachings as medicine. Thank you for this very agreeable and wise comment.
youre at your best when youre chaotic 👌
Thank you for saying so. I need to consider that one!!
I like it. As my old teacher used to say...things are just as they are...but in French...les choses sont comme elles sont...which can sound a bit bypassy and dismissive, but has some fundamental spiritual value somewhere!!
I think that's probably relevant here, but maybe not!! 😂
Thanks for the vid, I enjoyed it!
Oh, I love that! It's the perfect teaching. Things are just as they are… but in French. (Or, substitute French for any language you don't know!!)
I think Buddhism and Zen are just as good as that bench by the water. Great talk today :)
Thank you my Mocking Bird friend!
Buddhism might be good for nothing, but it might also be good for everything if the sensitivity you express springs from it. Thanks for sharing 👍
I like that, thank you.
If you don't sit on the bench you won't get so cold and then you won't need to warm up in the library so much. 😂
Dang dude why didn't I think of that!!! ;)
J. Krishnamurti was in his 80s and someone asked him why he was still giving talks so he replied, “Why do flowers give off perfume?” They just do. Why do we sit? We just do… or not… don’t know.
J.k had some good answers to tough questions, thanks for sharing this one.
Click HERE to collect your Bonsai Appreciation Merit Badge.😁
Dude, I wish! ;-)
Remember that "worthless" and "priceless" are two sides of the same coin.
That’s true, Danke my friend.
The tree does not have other trees telling it that you are shaped wrong and get surgery to look like a "proper" looking tree! 😊 "You ain't going to make money looking like that!"
That’s true! Or is it? Trees communicate through chemicals and mycelium. Maybe they get judgy?? ;)
@zenconfidential25 I am sure they don't talk about money tho
You are probably right there!
Maybe zazen can even cure us of being Buddhists
Oh LORDY let it be so!!! ;)
I actually think generally speaking that people are moving away from spiritual practice towards medication because spiritual practice is so outdated and unrealistic. We live in a scientific age. Atheism is one of the largest growing denominations within developed countries. As we grow smarter it becomes harder to believe in the falsehoods that abound within religions. Especially since most gurus who try to adopt science fail so miserably at it. Religions all over the world are way behind the newer generations and their cryptic answers will one day no longer suffice. Which is a shame. For me this practice perfectly aligns with my scientific spirit. But that is because I dropped religion and used science to shape my practice. Like take reincarnation the soul an afterlife a God etc. These answers worked before the scientific age came to be. But now that we have science we can tell that maybe these enlightened people are not as enlightened as they think since they are full of so many beliefs that do not agree with reality. So why should they bother to learn from someone that can't even tell what is and is not real. Take delson armstrong. His first video on guruviking was good. The 2nd one though he goes on some delusional rant about how he has lived past lives and how he asked his father one day if they had met before he had been born and his father replied yes. That's delusional. But if you ask religious people it's not delusional. If delson says so it must be true. That's a problem. It shows how easily the religious can be manipulated into delusion. How a guru can use their position to reinforce misinformation. As more and more become aware of this more and more will become skeptical of any claims made by gurus. Like the boy that cried wolf the village can only take so much before inevitably they stop believing in the boy. I was not religious. I was honest and thorough in my practice. I also had no teacher and was self taught so I avoided manipulation. And don't you know it but what I found through my practice is actually mirrored in science. Hence why I decided science was the best model. They don't study things that are unfalsifiable and neither do I. But unfalsifiability is the bread and butter of religions. Hence why they think they have a soul or can reincarnate and I think we have a brain and our consciousness being derived from the functions of the brain dies when the brain dies. A soul is unfalsifiable reincarnation is unfalsifiable but there are ways to test if a brain is the seat of consciousness. Guess what scientists in this century are slowly starting to figure out. If you guessed that our brain is the seat of consciousness as I did then yeah that's what science is finally starting to figure out. They are slowly realizing death is actually the end not the beginning of a life. And I wager they will never find evidence of an afterlife or a God or a soul or reincarnation even after billions of years have passed. Instead they will find a brain they will find neurons they will find programs and habits. They will find we are all meat sacks. And that is all there is to us. But this is such a terrifying truth that it will take a very long time before it becomes mainstream. No one wants to die. No one wants to know their loved ones are gone. But for me this means every moment is a gift. A treasure unlike any other. Because it's finite. Maybe then they can stop living for the next life and focus on this one. Really focus. And maybe just maybe when they do insights will arise that are not delusional in nature. Since they will know where to look for such insights. Not in some imagined God or afterlife but here and now in this reality. Most people to me live as if they are waiting to die before they can truly live. I don't have that luxury.
Thank you dear friend, this is very rich and wise.