- 180
- 197 917
Zen Confidential
Приєднався 29 тра 2012
I'm Shozan Jack Haubner! Here on my UA-cam you'll find videos about Zen Buddhism, meditation, writing, politics/culture/creativity, and whatever else tickles my (and hopefully your) fancy.
How to Become a Roshi | The Art of Aging & Becoming Your Own Zen Master!!
We kick off today's video with a RANT from Grandpa Jack about what it's like to grow old! When I was young, why, I used to think about traveling all over the world. These days? I don't think about traveling ANYWHERE -- not even down the darn street!! -- without considering my proximity to a bathroom. And so on...
Ah, BUT! The great thing about growing old -- the thing that no one talks about -- is that your Zen practice just gets better and better. And that's the focus of today's video. The fruit of old age, which is? You guessed it: wisdom.
First of all, as you age you start to finally let go of your "MacGuffins." When I worked in Hollywood we talked about how the hero of a story always has a MacGuffin, which is the thing he or she wants that gets the story going and keeps it going. The love interest to be won over (any romcom), the letters of transit (Casablanca), the Lost Ark (Raiders of the Lost Ark), destroying the Death Star (Star Wars). So too, young people let their heads swarm with MacGuffins, i.e. love interests, new experiences, dream jobs, a trip to Belize, material stuff like a big house, a shiny Tesla etc.
When you get old, though, the grip of your youthful MacGuffins fade. You begin to see life for what it is. Ups, downs, gains, losses -- with no exception. With some years behind you, you now have the opportunity to live your life as it is, moment after moment, without illusions and dreamy ambitions. The trick to old age is to stay engaged without giving up. Letting go of expectations -- surrendering all the MacGuffins you've outgrown -- while still remaining plugged into the world around you.
My teacher used to call this the dying activity, and when you can do it, you become your own Zen master or "Roshi," a term which simply means "venerable old person."
This video comes complete with old person jokes about BHP, perimenopause, and young kids these days with their bad music and weird clothes and effortlessly perfect bodies!!
I offer these videos for free, but you can support my work here:
www.paypal.com/donate/?business=2TDEMUWSYMFG2&no_recurring=0¤cy_code=USD
You can find essays, blogs, and videos here:
patreon.com/ShozanJackHaubner
And buy my books here:
www.amazon.com/Shozan-Jack-Haubner/e/B00BU82XU6?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1&qid=1632966931&sr=8-1
Ah, BUT! The great thing about growing old -- the thing that no one talks about -- is that your Zen practice just gets better and better. And that's the focus of today's video. The fruit of old age, which is? You guessed it: wisdom.
First of all, as you age you start to finally let go of your "MacGuffins." When I worked in Hollywood we talked about how the hero of a story always has a MacGuffin, which is the thing he or she wants that gets the story going and keeps it going. The love interest to be won over (any romcom), the letters of transit (Casablanca), the Lost Ark (Raiders of the Lost Ark), destroying the Death Star (Star Wars). So too, young people let their heads swarm with MacGuffins, i.e. love interests, new experiences, dream jobs, a trip to Belize, material stuff like a big house, a shiny Tesla etc.
When you get old, though, the grip of your youthful MacGuffins fade. You begin to see life for what it is. Ups, downs, gains, losses -- with no exception. With some years behind you, you now have the opportunity to live your life as it is, moment after moment, without illusions and dreamy ambitions. The trick to old age is to stay engaged without giving up. Letting go of expectations -- surrendering all the MacGuffins you've outgrown -- while still remaining plugged into the world around you.
My teacher used to call this the dying activity, and when you can do it, you become your own Zen master or "Roshi," a term which simply means "venerable old person."
This video comes complete with old person jokes about BHP, perimenopause, and young kids these days with their bad music and weird clothes and effortlessly perfect bodies!!
I offer these videos for free, but you can support my work here:
www.paypal.com/donate/?business=2TDEMUWSYMFG2&no_recurring=0¤cy_code=USD
You can find essays, blogs, and videos here:
patreon.com/ShozanJackHaubner
And buy my books here:
www.amazon.com/Shozan-Jack-Haubner/e/B00BU82XU6?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1&qid=1632966931&sr=8-1
Переглядів: 1 350
Відео
Dana: the Practice of Giving
Переглядів 644День тому
Well, dang. Here we are. 2025! At the monastery we would spend all of New Year's Eve sitting in the Zendo. The whole night! Then we'd usher in the new year with a talk from our teacher. He gave a talk on January 1, 2000, which I share in full at the end of today's video. But first! What is dana? It is the practice of cultivating generosity. Or, you could say, the practice of giving. "Giving pra...
Don’t get spiritual burnout!!...and also? Let's do some PICKLE PRACTICE, BABY!!!
Переглядів 1,1 тис.14 днів тому
Merry BELATED Christmas!! (Wait, are we still allowed to say Merry Christmas?) Happy "Prince Shotoku Day," as my Zen teacher used to say on Christmas morning....when we got to drink some cold green tea and then have a normal Zen work day. Listen! I shot a video this past Christmas morning to say HELLO I LOVE YOU and to address, quickly, a nice question I got from a Patron re: burnout when it co...
A Tale of Two Monasteries | The People's Republic of Chigo vs The Patriarchy!!
Переглядів 1,3 тис.21 день тому
Today's video is an epic character study cautionary tale that involves the wildest, weirdest, most stubborn/idealistic monk I have ever known, and this dude's brief but terrible reign of comical Communistic horror at the Mount Baldy Zen Center. I am speaking, now, of that moment when our monastery became the People's Republic of Chigo. But first....! We discuss my many layers of underwear. And ...
The Four Stages of a Zen Center Scandal
Переглядів 1,2 тис.28 днів тому
I was sittin' around minding my own business when a friend forwarded me two very foreboding emails, one from the guiding teacher of a famous Zen Center, and one from the same famous Zen Center's Board of Directors. Yes, it's that time of year again! Xmas, you say...? No! It's that time of year where we discuss Zen Centers and sex scandals! This is, unfortunately, a perennial theme, because for ...
The Eightfold Buddhist Path in ONE WORD! (Word, bro!!)
Переглядів 1,2 тис.Місяць тому
The 4 Noble Truths! Perhaps you've heard of them?? They're a pretty big deal in Buddhism. Today's video takes up the 4th of these truths, the Eightfold Path and reduces all eight components of this path to three categories...and then?? I'll TELL you what then: we reduce all three categories of the Eightfold path to one word! It's a fun video! Why, you ask? Weelllll...first of all, I incorporate...
Is Buddhism Good for Nothing? Hellz yes-ish!! Notes from a Spiritual Crisis! (Yr welcome)
Переглядів 1,3 тис.Місяць тому
From the depths of an insanely chilly Wisconsin morning I bring you...a spiritual crisis!! Spending time with my friend's daughter I realized that her generation (or at least she) has a different take on spirituality, mental health, and wisdom than I do. Her dad has a ton of anxiety. So does her granddad. So does she. To deal with her condition she has eschewed the spiritual practices of her fa...
Behind the Scenes at a Monastery | Drama! Intrigue! Sitting on Your Butt!!
Переглядів 1,8 тис.Місяць тому
A recent email exchange with a Zen friend kept me up all night and got me up early the next morning to make this vid! My friend was critiquing the fulltime Zen monk as...arguably...a special species of coward who hides in his/her robes to avoid the "real world." Dude had a point. In this video we go behind the scenes during my time at the Mount Baldy Zen Center and talk about the whole arc of a...
Podcast Brain vs Don't Know Mind! | A Post-Election Palate Cleanser
Переглядів 1,6 тис.Місяць тому
Phew! How ya feelin', America?! How 'bout that election!! Now...as I write this, at 11:22AM on ELECTION TUESDAY (I saved this post & I'm writing to you from the past!!), I don't know yet who won. And that's good, because in today's special post-election video we are going to talk about the Zen teaching of Don't Know Mind vs. its polar opposite, something I call Podcast Brain. Podcast brain? Yes...
How to be a MAN: the Zen Way | A deep dive into life at the MANastery!
Переглядів 2 тис.2 місяці тому
Hey, have you heard about the (clears throat...) Crisis in Masculinity?? I have! Brah! Thus I have heard!! And after I tell two very long and kinda funny stories, one of which involves a white woman calling me (pejoratively) a white man, and another where I, as a man, almost had to beat up two big young Serbian plumbers...after those two stories, we get into the gist of today's video, which is:...
Some thoughts from a Buddhist on the election
Переглядів 2,6 тис.2 місяці тому
I had a tidily edited and very Buddhist-ish video that I planned to post today, but then an unexpected attack of post-election loquacity took hold and this video spilled out, so I'm going to post THIS ONE instead. Some thoughts here for my conservative Buddhist friends who voted for The Donald, some thoughts for my liberal Buddhist friends who voted for Momala, and some thoughts for anyone who ...
Is Zen too Damn Radical?? A long, inarticulate, & straight-up unhinged inquiry! LET'S GOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Переглядів 3,1 тис.2 місяці тому
Intro: 0:00 The Problem with BLABBING about "No-self": 5:13 The 5 Skandhas: 10:44 Inner Objectivity, Outer Subjectivity: 16:33 A (very) Homemade History Of Zen: 17:22 How Zen Systematizes Mysticism: 19:16 When the Fit hits the Shan, is Zen helpful? :21:25 Zen ='s freedom from myself, freedom to BE myself: 35:38 My friend and Patron "Dave" hit me with a doosey of an email. After questioning whet...
The First, Last, & ONLY Koan in Zen | "Where are you??" | The Teaching of ANATTA/Not-Self
Переглядів 1,5 тис.2 місяці тому
I just retired a whole mountain of journal notebooks to storage, but not before finding some pretty interesting entries a few of which I share with you in this new video about "anatta," or the Buddhist teaching of not-self. We seem to have selves or even souls that persist from one moment to the next, as though we are fixated entities that persist and ARE in some fundamental rock-bottom "here I...
Public Spiritual Service Announcement from Zen Confidential! | It's Sittin' Time!!!
Переглядів 4112 місяці тому
The announcement is...? Tomorrow, Sunday October 20, WE SIT!! See video for more details. This is a VERY SPECIAL SIT due its allowing you access magical levitational powers. I hope you will join. (UA-cam live link below.) The sitting session will open with Zazen instruction, which runs 10-15 minutes. From there, two sits. In between the sits, a short rest kinhin or break. Afterwards I will talk...
Let's Talk Crazy Moralist Religious Types!! | The Boomerang Theory of Evil | Right & Wrong!! ... ?
Переглядів 8493 місяці тому
I have a doosey of a story for you today! It's about the brother of an ex-girlfriend. A sweet man, a tortured soul, a fail-son who took over the crown jewel of his father's legacy, an influential political group . . . and then as fail-sons will he tragically ran it right into the ground. He always had strong words for his political and spiritual enemies: he called them Evil. Which of course got...
Do You Need a Sangha? | Sitting with a Community Vs. Sitting Alone...
Переглядів 1,9 тис.3 місяці тому
Do You Need a Sangha? | Sitting with a Community Vs. Sitting Alone...
The Secret to Zen Practice: Fake it till you're not faking it anymore
Переглядів 1 тис.3 місяці тому
The Secret to Zen Practice: Fake it till you're not faking it anymore
Help! My Spiritual Guru Is a MANIAC!! (but also....not?)
Переглядів 1,4 тис.3 місяці тому
Help! My Spiritual Guru Is a MANIAC!! (but also....not?)
Single Pointed Meditation: How to Do NOTHING in ZEN
Переглядів 2,3 тис.3 місяці тому
Single Pointed Meditation: How to Do NOTHING in ZEN
Processing Anger & Grief on the Cushion
Переглядів 8124 місяці тому
Processing Anger & Grief on the Cushion
The Difference Between Self Harm & No Self | Zen & the Art of Growing Up! | Self harm vs. no self
Переглядів 6454 місяці тому
The Difference Between Self Harm & No Self | Zen & the Art of Growing Up! | Self harm vs. no self
Is Zen Opposed to Activism? (Kinda, yeah) | Is Zen Nihilistic? Heck No!! Is Zen good at DEATH? Yup!
Переглядів 1,7 тис.4 місяці тому
Is Zen Opposed to Activism? (Kinda, yeah) | Is Zen Nihilistic? Heck No!! Is Zen good at DEATH? Yup!
Mindfulness & Social Media | Turn off the Content...IN YOUR HEAD!! | Don't lose touch with silence!!
Переглядів 8815 місяців тому
Mindfulness & Social Media | Turn off the Content...IN YOUR HEAD!! | Don't lose touch with silence!!
Breathing Zen | The Seed of the Cosmos In-between your Inhale & Exhale!
Переглядів 1,1 тис.5 місяців тому
Breathing Zen | The Seed of the Cosmos In-between your Inhale & Exhale!
A Personal Inquiry into Sex, Zen, & Ethics
Переглядів 1,1 тис.5 місяців тому
A Personal Inquiry into Sex, Zen, & Ethics
Miss Lonelyhearts & the Spiritual Despair Novel | A Deep Dive into Zen, N. Hawthorne, & CONNECTION!!
Переглядів 8945 місяців тому
Miss Lonelyhearts & the Spiritual Despair Novel | A Deep Dive into Zen, N. Hawthorne, & CONNECTION!!
Zen, Leadership, & Presidential Debates!
Переглядів 7806 місяців тому
Zen, Leadership, & Presidential Debates!
When the Fit Hits the Shan! A Deep Dive into the Four Noble Truths in Buddhism
Переглядів 1,3 тис.6 місяців тому
When the Fit Hits the Shan! A Deep Dive into the Four Noble Truths in Buddhism
Jordan Peterson & Gay Pride | The Question of a Creative God | Bro, are you afraid of a WILD GOD??!!
Переглядів 1,9 тис.6 місяців тому
Jordan Peterson & Gay Pride | The Question of a Creative God | Bro, are you afraid of a WILD GOD??!!
This is great!
From spin doctor to roshi😊
...to spin doctor again!
Well said. Thank you.
Thank you for your talk, really helpful.
Glad it was helpful!
Nice!! "Experience is the thing of supreme value in life. Provided one is prepared to put the past to good account." Henry Ford (paraphrased) Thanks.❤
Down here to visit my 94 uncle. He made it to 94 and still going by doing as you say, meeting each day to live. I often wonder if I greet each day or fight against it. Anyway may you keep bringing us your videos. Thank you
Oh wow! Thank you you made my day.
This was a powerful talk for me. Thank you.
You are so welcome.
Hah! I'm way too lazy to be my own Zen Master. You're my Zen Master. But I'm too lazy to actually watch your videos.
I love it!! I hope I don't get too lazy and stop MAKING them!!
@zenconfidential25 Won't happen. You would miss reading all the fabulously witty comments from your devoted fans.
Again very interesting
Glad you enjoyed it
Wow. Thank you.
You bet!
Both my parents are 80+, and have major health problems. I am currently one step away from being homeless. And am currently working for a job that does homeless outreach. Go figure. Very powerful video jack. Sometimes i feel like im so preoccupied by the present moment I don't prepare for the future well enough. Does that ever happen to you?
I know what you mean, yes. Please take care of yourself my friend.
Beautiful video, Jack
Commenting to bump that algorithm
Glad you think so! Thank you.
I’m not saying you’re just acting. It seems you are sincere. But did you ever take acting lessons. Do you talk like you do in normal life or just when teaching.i am 76 years old been meditating for about 35 years. It does get better with age thanks for your Talks. I know a little about Mr sasaki teaching from shinzen young.The guy who taught me how to meditate.
I am way more chill in real life, it takes a lot of energy to make the video so I just go for it.
@@zenconfidential25 I like the way you emote in your videos.. The last thing we need is another flat-lining Buddhist talk on UA-cam.
Die into the present moment? The present moment would be a infinitely short unit of time. Too short to even be aware of...like trying to catch a single frame of a motion picture. One thing that happens in meditation is a kind of mental age regression. You start re-living your early childhood before all the accumulated baggage of time. Shiny and new...almost as if the rest of your life never happened. Remember the lyrics from 'Like A Virgin'? I was beat, incomplete I've been had, I was sad and blue But you made me feel Yeah, you made me feel Shiny and new
I like what you are saying. I’ve been feeling some of that growing old angst lately. Maybe it’s just me but there also seems to be a life cycle to civilizations too. So I think everyone feels a little bit of this civilizational death in the west. People are not having many children and the powers that be are importing people into the western countries as fast as they can. So I feel sad that for example a place like Ireland doesn’t get to be for Irish people anymore and is quickly being replaced by people that have a completely different culture and way of living. This is happening everywhere in the west. It feels like the west is stuck with having to give up all their homelands so that the economic machine can keep consolidating and “globalizing” the western world. All I can say is that I am drawn to the dharma out of my own sadness, anger, and revulsion. It’s painful and there is no way for me to do anything about it. Sometimes I feel the angst of all European peoples everywhere and feel completely impotent to do anything about it. I know at any moment 20 thousand Haitians or whoever could be dropped off on my doorstep like they did in Ohio where I grew up. If you protest against this at all the propaganda machine labels you as racist and not compassionate. I can feel overwhelmed at times with it all and I know so many people feel this way. So out of desperation I turn to dharma and make some space to breathe and just look and be present with my awareness. It also helps going to the gym and doing some boxing training. It makes me feel lighter to work out hard. ‘’The awakened state is the ordinary of the ordinary.” CTR
CTR got it right with that quote. One foot in front of the other, my friend, moment after moment.
I used to want to climb every mountain on the planet. Made the summit of a few of them only to realize years later that all I'd done was spend a small fortune to go live in the cold for weeks at a time and put my life at risk just to stand on top of an icy piece of Earth. Wake up, exit sleeping bag, layer up, use restroom, brush teeth, collect snow, melt snow, pour into freeze dried breakfast, eat breakfast, wash container, tear down tent, gear up, walk, take a break, snack, look out at white empty landscape, continue walking, avoid crevasse, pick camp site, probe for crevasses, stomp out tent platform, set up tent, saw snow blocks, build snow wall, collect snow, melt snow, pour into freeze dried dinner, eat dinner, wash container, brush teeth, remove layers, enter sleeping bag, fall asleep, repeat. I did this for years. Didn't hit me until recently that this phase of my life was extremely important. I was blind to the ordinary. And holy shit, wouldn't ya know, I'm doing the exact same thing at home as I was doing in the mountains. Only I'm surrounded by people and buildings.
When young, everyone thought the brainwashing by parents and society is real. The good and bad, the success and failure, the FOMO, the bucket list....until some realise it's all a fairytale humans created.
I totally get the requirement of having easy access to a bathroom. At 60 years old, I definitely can't hold it for too long. As far as dying, I'm ok with it although I would rather not go through pain if I don't have to. I lived an ok life. Not the best life, but not the worst life either. Got to meet interesting people such as Philip Kapleau and Tim McCarthy.
You sound like you did pretty dang ok.
Thank you, sir.
You bet!
Nice one. Thanks!
Thank you too!
Yeh man you definitely look like you made it 😅
made it where??
"die to the present moment" "been to the puppet show and seen the strings"
Is nirvana a MacGuffin?
You know what, it just might be that. What do you think?
@@zenconfidential25 I'll give the answer systems engineers always give. It depends.
It is the thing that the students are after. It doesn't matter if it's real, they only need to believe that it is!
Very timely, personally. Thank you. But I was actually expecting old super 8 footage of your gramps at the end. I pictured him to look like Jed Clampett or something.
Man I wish I had some of that footage. I think I do have some Jed Clampett genes at me… But that’s fodder for another video!
Indeed👽. Thanks! Always dig your videos🙏. Yeah, definitely more familiar with the dying process than the living process at this stage in my game. This story is remarkable. Here's to the power of "admirable friendship"🙏. Notions like "take no thought," in Western religions, or dropping into jhanas via practice require - surrender.
Thanks, pilgrim!
Jack, what do you rhink about these kinda AI videos? ua-cam.com/video/DPcoE_wQi1c/v-deo.htmlfeature=shared
I veeeeeery briefly just skimmed this one. Some helpful things, I guess. Pretty basic. I really dislike AI generated voices and images though, which these seem to be. What do you think?
@zenconfidential25 it's a weird world. I don't resonate with it. But what does my opinion really matter.? Idk... you and Brad'sbooks and videos are great.. 🙏
Just what I needed to hear, listening again in mid-January in the season of slop. Thank you!
Thanks for listening!! See ya again soon!
When I met Philip Kapleau, I asked him "How close am I to enlightenment?" He put his finger to his lips in silent answer. In other words, he gave me the finger.
Reminds me of a koan where the master says, "Take care for at any time you might fall into hell"
That is dang good advice.
If I'm suffering then I'm doing it wrong.... Is it then wrong for me to feel the pain of empathy for others? Or the pain of growth through increased awareness, as I felt when I ate my first vegan meal this week that brought me closer to ending my part in the suffering of animals? Or the pain that comes from sitting longer in zazen and having deeper insight?
These are pains you're talking about, though, not suffering. There's a difference. I'm talking about the "second dart" in Buddhism.
@ thanks for the clarification!
Really appreciate you sharing the humanity of your teacher; so very important, I think! This seems to be so often lost when hearing stories of so called zen masters! What seems to be often their greatest teachings, we miss in search of some so called “special” esoteric BS. You were blessed to have spent such intimate time with Rōshi. In gassho.
In gassho dear friend.
Thanks Jack. No nuggets from me. I realize that nothing is ever like you think it will be. Not saying don't make plans, just saying prepare to be adjustable.
I had that exact sentiment in this vid but I cut it out. Yes. Nothing in my experience is EVER like I imagine it will be. It's pretty awesome when I realize this!!
“Das Altern is nix für Feiglinge!“ (Blacky Fuchsberger) Regrettably, things often don't turn out that epic; but, at least, who would not like to imagine the “heroes journey“ now and then? It's the “Prinzip Hoffnung“ (Ernst Bloch), which helps us to carry on - or some zenian “utopia“ for some, because “life-death is the big affair, and time flies... don't waste it“, as Eihei Dougen put it. Well, well, well...
You feelin' old, folks? Leave your old person rants & wisdom-nuggets here!
Funny, I just read the last chapter in Zen Confidential, about your teacher’s bowel issues. (I’m late to that party.)
welcome to the … party ? ;)
so good
Kind, thank you
About giving yourself in a handshake: Nicht müde werden, sondern dem Wunder leise wie einem Vogel die Hand hinhalten. by Hilde Domin Let us all practice giving a hand throughout the new year!
You got it!!! Well, giving someone else a handshake anyway.
@ 🤝
5:49 I got money on the "handshake sutra"
Yes!!!
It is ridiculous how often you accidentally speak to my circumstances. Thank you, as always, for sharing.
You are so welcome
Nice one :)
Thanks 😁
A kid goes to his mom and says, "I heard a new word at school today but I don't know what it means. Mom, what's fornication?" Flustered, the mom says, "Go ask your grandpa." The kid goes upstairs to his old Jewish grandpa who has a heavy accent and says, "What's fornication?" His grandpa takes two suits out of his closet and says, "This plain suit is for every day. This fancy one is fornication (for an occasion)."
Bada bing bada boom
Awesome. Now I've been walking around the apartment for the last hour saying "for'n'a'cashion...forn-ca-shun...foranuhcasion..." driving the ol' lady CRAZY!
🙏 I like your videos. But this one made me laugh and thankful. What a storyteller you are - fantastic. I‘m living in Northern Germany but UA-cam is letting me take time with you. Thank you for doing what you‘re doing. 🙏❤️🙏
That is awesome! Thank you sir.
I told you before, I like it when you make videos on the run. I love the sincerity of your spontaneity. I need to learn to meet people like that. No more habitual responses! I'm thinking of your teacher telling L. Cohen that he was a fake monk. If you are sincere enough, you can say anything without misunderstanding
Thank you, dear friend. That means a lot to me.
Maybe treat yourself to a selfie stick
Fair.
I love the title “Is this dork enlightened.” 😂
!!! The answer of course is.... um. ;)
You learned the four stages of a zen sex scandal, that truth trumps happiness, that never-ending meetings eventually end, and statements written by committee suck. What more do you need to know?
Wow, thank you. No one, including myself, has ever summarized the lessons learned from an experience as well as you have here.
"practice self" .. interesting 😊
Indeed!
filling silence with kinda bulshit. yes. i know that quite well❤
thx for ur honest words❤
My pleasure 😊 thank you.