This Bed Makes You Last Longer

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  • Опубліковано 22 лис 2023
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  • Комедії

КОМЕНТАРІ • 335

  • @JamminGiant117
    @JamminGiant117 5 місяців тому +439

    As someone who works retail, I know the feeling. “Didn’t scan? Must be free!” “The money is real! I just printed it this morning!”

    • @bedgegog
      @bedgegog 5 місяців тому +16

      I’ve never heard the second one, I think it’s good.

    • @drekon6939
      @drekon6939 5 місяців тому +11

      I've heard the second about 3 thousand times. When someone pays with a 50 or a 100, you have to check them. Sometimes you get people who use the pen, but those can be fooled. So I check the electronic strip. If they get tampered with, they turn black. And they are unique. The only bills you don't check strip for are pre 90, as they didn't even have them then. But yeah. I must have heard, "I printed them last night" enough times to make me want to vomit.

    • @DarthMetool
      @DarthMetool 5 місяців тому +3

      *13-years-of-retail sigh*

    • @alphagt62
      @alphagt62 5 місяців тому +2

      “Be careful, the ink is still wet”.

    • @JamminGiant117
      @JamminGiant117 5 місяців тому +2

      @@bedgegog So did I, the first time I heard it. After you hear thousands of times (I wish I was exaggerating), it becomes annoying.

  • @sinbadwilliams7186
    @sinbadwilliams7186 6 місяців тому +610

    These beds are to die for with how comfortable they are!

  • @Poverral
    @Poverral 6 місяців тому +637

    I know that feeling people used to say "No need to go to the gym" after I carried a lot of furniture for them.
    Happened at least once a week some times 5 times a day or more.
    And the customer always thought they were funny and original.

    • @Penguinmanereikel
      @Penguinmanereikel 6 місяців тому

      I don't get it

    • @John-Smith02
      @John-Smith02 6 місяців тому +22

      ​@@Penguinmanereikelthey probably move furniture for a living

    • @Dawid23_Gamer
      @Dawid23_Gamer 6 місяців тому +30

      @@Penguinmanereikel furniture is known to be heavy often.

    • @Poverral
      @Poverral 6 місяців тому +16

      @@Penguinmanereikel it was my job and "everyone" said the same thing

    • @raistlarn
      @raistlarn 6 місяців тому +3

      I'd probably say something similar, and say "you probably hear that all the time."

  • @baff_forfun
    @baff_forfun 6 місяців тому +204

    As a person that works in a mirror maze, I totally relate to Jim. I have to pretend that "Haha if we get lost, will you be able to find us?" is so funny and original everytime some one says it

    • @almightyk11
      @almightyk11 5 місяців тому +18

      To be fair, it may be a sincere question

    • @cristianjordan6357
      @cristianjordan6357 5 місяців тому +10

      ​@almightyk11 yeah no I've been the one to ask it and it's 100% sincere, at least for me. Same with corn mazes tbh

    • @Tridentus
      @Tridentus 5 місяців тому +6

      As a person who is literally a mattress salesman.. I haven't had this even once.. What I do get are if I ask what they're sleeping on atm (as a casual way to get more info out of them) "...a mattress"- to which I say "OH!! is that what these are called..".
      Or "I'm looking for a mattress am I in the right place?".
      Tbf I love these customers because they are literally volunteering rapport, whereas I normally have to work for it.

    • @D3ADLOLO
      @D3ADLOLO 5 місяців тому +5

      I'd love to see the face they'd make if you answer them "no, and if you can try to find the 7 lost childs while youre in"

    • @baff_forfun
      @baff_forfun 5 місяців тому +2

      @@D3ADLOLO r/foundsatan

  • @Doorkii
    @Doorkii 5 місяців тому +74

    We really needed a post-credit scene where Jim is constantly suffocating people to make the others buy the beds

  • @francisfatta
    @francisfatta 6 місяців тому +249

    I’m pretty sure this is how the C&H creators feel about people constantly making puns in the comments 😅

    • @heianwood6119
      @heianwood6119 5 місяців тому +1

      Underrated

    • @RealRomplayer
      @RealRomplayer 5 місяців тому +4

      Or saying stuff like "Sleep on it? Must be a Thursday! Hahahahaha I'm so original!"

    • @the_cursed_user8586
      @the_cursed_user8586 5 місяців тому

      ​@@heianwood6119k

  • @0ne0fmany
    @0ne0fmany 5 місяців тому +91

    If you are working with customers, and there's an obvious joke each and every one of them is making and you have to pretend you never heard it before...
    This one's for you. You are all heroes.

  • @tiefensucht
    @tiefensucht 5 місяців тому +27

    We need a "the guy that could sleep on everything"-episode as an homage at the sitting guy.

  • @Keyguin
    @Keyguin 5 місяців тому +14

    As a former cashier, I definitely felt this when an item didn’t ring up and I’d hear “welp, guess that means it’s free”

  • @deadlineuniverse3189
    @deadlineuniverse3189 6 місяців тому +128

    “These mattresses are very comfortable. You can ask this bod-, buddy….provided he wakes up anytime soon”

    • @MugenNiFukuzatsuna
      @MugenNiFukuzatsuna 6 місяців тому +9

      "Which I doubt he will anytime soon because he is DEAD... asleep. Dead asleep!"

    • @LaMortDeLaMusique
      @LaMortDeLaMusique 6 місяців тому +4

      This bed is so comfortable it'll make you sleep like the dead

  • @N4rha
    @N4rha 5 місяців тому +9

    Cashier has trouble scanning an item for 2 seconds
    "That means it's free right? ha ha!"

  • @aegis12314
    @aegis12314 6 місяців тому +42

    Reminds me of the "must be free" joke that drove me mad when I worked at Walmart

    • @koryhill271
      @koryhill271 6 місяців тому +8

      -checks bill for counterfeit-
      "Just printed it this morning!"

    • @wesscoates5676
      @wesscoates5676 6 місяців тому +8

      That's when you counter with "only if you can beat security to the doors"

    • @LaMortDeLaMusique
      @LaMortDeLaMusique 6 місяців тому

      @@wesscoates5676 There is a store somewhere that said "if you can outrun this Olympic sprinter we have working for us, you can keep what you steal"

  • @QwentyJ
    @QwentyJ 5 місяців тому +11

    His little smile at 1:39 after finally making the aale just creases me XD

  • @ExtremeDude2
    @ExtremeDude2 6 місяців тому +1141

    Why they have to title it like that tho 😂

    • @HollandBest.nr1
      @HollandBest.nr1 6 місяців тому +101

      Everything for the clicks

    • @complex9999
      @complex9999 6 місяців тому +19

      You know why 😂

    • @xNirex44
      @xNirex44 6 місяців тому +50

      The answer: you clicked and now you're here.

    • @sn1p1n
      @sn1p1n 6 місяців тому +15

      the mattress makes you last longer (more sleep = longer life)

    • @ExtremeDude2
      @ExtremeDude2 6 місяців тому

      lol@@sn1p1n

  • @cheesus7672
    @cheesus7672 5 місяців тому +4

    In the bakery:
    "How can I help you?"
    "By giving me bread?😂"
    "Right...very original."

  • @Kskillz2
    @Kskillz2 6 місяців тому +218

    Bed dealer going insane because customers keeps saying the same phrase over and over?
    Must be a Thursday!

    • @KeB3inactive
      @KeB3inactive 6 місяців тому +3

      I’m still waiting for that Thursday with a splitter and a doubler.

    • @mathgasm8484
      @mathgasm8484 6 місяців тому +2

      like the grocery check stand "if it does not scan it must be free".

    • @StiggyZardust
      @StiggyZardust 6 місяців тому +4

      Me as a mailman working in the rain hearing "stay dry" from customers 8 million times per day

    • @shanejh2007
      @shanejh2007 5 місяців тому +2

      @@StiggyZardust Damn! You're one efficient Mailman!

    • @golett0331
      @golett0331 5 місяців тому

      Well, akshuly, Thursday was yesterday

  • @jonathancurrie5170
    @jonathancurrie5170 5 місяців тому +5

    You could say he made a "KILLING" with that sale

  • @corpsebrigadepowerhouse993
    @corpsebrigadepowerhouse993 6 місяців тому +42

    Definitely feel this working in retail. The amount of times people have come over to my check stand when it was empty and said “you look bored so I thought I’d come over” is insane. On top of a dozen other recycled phrases that constantly shuffle through, all from different people

    • @ThePickledsoul
      @ThePickledsoul 5 місяців тому +6

      "It's not scanning, so it must be free!"

    • @corpsebrigadepowerhouse993
      @corpsebrigadepowerhouse993 5 місяців тому +2

      @@ThePickledsoul lord, that one too

    • @Schnipps
      @Schnipps 5 місяців тому +6

      I had an item not scanning once and I just, looked into the workers eyes and they looked into me for like, 5 seconds straight. I just grinned and said "don't worry, I won't say it" and they just laughed.
      I aim to never be one of those people that say stupid ass jokes to workers.

  • @therainenetwork3510
    @therainenetwork3510 4 місяці тому +3

    I used to wash windows two days out of the week and at least once each day someone would walk by and would say "You missed a spot," and then they would chuckle to themself thinking they were being clever. I would usually respond with "I haven't heard that one before."

  • @swearimnotarobot3746
    @swearimnotarobot3746 6 місяців тому +7

    This is the type of thing that makes a serial killer.

  • @nathanjay8961
    @nathanjay8961 5 місяців тому +5

    “Anything else?” “Yeah, a million dollars!” Vibes right here

    • @simonspacek3670
      @simonspacek3670 5 місяців тому +1

      I usually heard "lottery winning numbers", but I feel your pain.

  • @welcometotheinternet574
    @welcometotheinternet574 5 місяців тому +13

    He lost his sanity whilst dreaming…
    Truly the sleep of a salesman

  • @HarmonyBunny
    @HarmonyBunny 6 місяців тому +9

    That guy is gonna be sleeping for a long time

  • @sunseto7352
    @sunseto7352 6 місяців тому +11

    Omg so early you guys were my childhood fr😂

  • @molag-ballordofdomination2065
    @molag-ballordofdomination2065 5 місяців тому +4

    He's sleeping so good that he'll never wake up

  • @ehta2413
    @ehta2413 5 місяців тому +5

    Reminds me of my friend, who works as a policeman. Every friday people get drunk and they have will be waved and stopped gazillion times 9 times out of 10 they open the car window and the drunken person says, "Hey officer, I just wanted to let you know, your car window is open." Then smile like madman and expect the officers to laugh at it. Apparently it gets old fast, or at latest after first 50 times :D

  • @EnderIzzy124
    @EnderIzzy124 5 місяців тому +10

    I'll be honest, I thought the joke here, from the title, was going to be a mattress that literally made you "last longer", as in it would slow down how fast you experienced time.
    The episode would quickly turn into a psychological horror skit with meeting god or something at the end.

  • @TylerDollarhide
    @TylerDollarhide 6 місяців тому +5

    You'll be sleeping with the fishes!

  • @dhawthorne1634
    @dhawthorne1634 5 місяців тому +6

    Exactly how every banquet bartender feels when they hear "you can just take that to my car" while setting up our breaking down.

  • @NevermoreMadGirl
    @NevermoreMadGirl 5 місяців тому +7

    "We're gonna have to sleep on it." The most haunting "dad joke" that any mattress salesperson has ever heard, possibly the ultimate salesperson villain arc.
    From that day forward, Jim made a killing in the mattress business. You can't help but rest in peace on one of his mattresses.

  • @Wuzzup129
    @Wuzzup129 5 місяців тому +3

    When the salesman finally snaps.

  • @tapplethepro69
    @tapplethepro69 6 місяців тому +4

    top 10 easiest ways to sell a matress
    number 1:

  • @MeekMitts
    @MeekMitts 5 місяців тому +5

    I think everyone in retail can relate to this 😂

  • @ctavi6654
    @ctavi6654 5 місяців тому +11

    I work as a support agent over phones and live chats currently, ours is
    "Is there anything else I can help you with whilst I'm here?"
    "Oooh, perhaps the lottery numbers?"
    Every time someone says this to me, I hope that they can hear the pain in my very forced laugh to maybe spare one of my colleagues the same fate.

    • @petertrudelljr
      @petertrudelljr 5 місяців тому +1

      Respond with, "You must be a comedian" and then they respond, "No!" then say, "That's why you're not funny."

    • @d4m4s74
      @d4m4s74 5 місяців тому +1

      I always have the last winning lottery numbers on a post it on my desk, just for that question.

    • @ctavi6654
      @ctavi6654 5 місяців тому

      @@d4m4s74 I hadn't considered that, haha

  • @khukri_wielderxxx1962
    @khukri_wielderxxx1962 5 місяців тому +5

    Anyone who has ever worked in sales feels that man's pain

  • @DarkMatter-X
    @DarkMatter-X 6 місяців тому +1

    No more tears. Only Silence

  • @SufferingSuccotash
    @SufferingSuccotash 6 місяців тому +8

    He's a sleeper agent, that joke is his trigger

  • @platosbeard3476
    @platosbeard3476 5 місяців тому +2

    With the right technique, he's making a killing!

  • @Cr69561
    @Cr69561 6 місяців тому +9

    Psychopath's are not born they're made.

    • @OnionChoppingNinja
      @OnionChoppingNinja 6 місяців тому +2

      There's a psychopath in all of us. All it takes is 1 jerk to press the right button to unleash it.

    • @jayer.
      @jayer. 5 місяців тому

      ​@@OnionChoppingNinja All it takes is one bad day

  • @Inferno65
    @Inferno65 5 місяців тому +4

    @Inferno65
    0 seconds ago
    I thought it was gonna be like the mattress salesman promises the customer the bed will “make you last longer”, and the guy will buy it thinking that it’s built in such a way that he’ll be able to have sex longer. But then they reveal it’s an ancient cursed mattress that forces you to live for 1,000 years, unable to die. And by the end, the guy’s just a miserable old man who keeps failing to kill himself. Then he comes back to the mattress store to complain, but the salesman just replies that they don’t do refunds.

  • @MNNski
    @MNNski 5 місяців тому +15

    As someone who used to work in retail, you get the same jokes day after day after day. The amount of time I asked "would you like a bag" and someone responded with "no she's at home" haunts me years later.

  • @xXxKAMIKAZExXx
    @xXxKAMIKAZExXx 5 місяців тому +1

    How cleaners feel when people say you've missed a spot.

  • @jonsku6662
    @jonsku6662 5 місяців тому +8

    Remember kids, most salespeople have probably heard your puns about their work too many times already
    Especially necromancers on bone puns

    • @hedgededge1436
      @hedgededge1436 3 дні тому

      Hey, don't pick on Necromancers. Do you know how hard it is to raise a family these days?

    • @jonsku6662
      @jonsku6662 3 дні тому

      @@hedgededge1436 Oh they got it soooo easy compared to us dead folk! Bone puns is nothing compared to all the dead puns and your possessions being given away because of a will
      Bet your first thought on dead people were those hollywood stereotype zombies too

  • @CiampaGiuseppe8
    @CiampaGiuseppe8 6 місяців тому +4

    I thought the matress traps people who sleep on it

  • @stewboy69
    @stewboy69 5 місяців тому +2

    The most tame C and H short yet it has an out of pocket title lol

  • @eternalcountelliott3225
    @eternalcountelliott3225 5 місяців тому +1

    "Gonna remove the body?"
    "I don't know, gonna have to let me sleep on it 💀"

  • @votemonty1815
    @votemonty1815 5 місяців тому +1

    I clicked for the eventual twist & was not disappointed.

  • @dezman311
    @dezman311 6 місяців тому +14

    A new upload? I think I’ll watch after I… _sleep on it ;)_

    • @RaulDiaz-mp8ms
      @RaulDiaz-mp8ms 6 місяців тому +5

      Um, is this where the execution is taking place?

  • @claywest9528
    @claywest9528 5 місяців тому +2

    Finally, a sale!!

  • @TwistedD85
    @TwistedD85 5 місяців тому +1

    When the credit card machine doesn't work the first time, "That means it's free, right? Riiight?" HAHAHA, no. It means we have to wait.

  • @missesyourjokes
    @missesyourjokes 5 місяців тому +3

    I like how his room is full of mattresses

  • @B1_1_9_7_5
    @B1_1_9_7_5 6 місяців тому +2

    1:14 😮oh

  • @Mamo_Rambo
    @Mamo_Rambo 5 місяців тому +2

    This bed I will "Die for! 😃"

  • @Lachrymose79
    @Lachrymose79 5 місяців тому

    Made my day, tysm

  • @charlesstitchwong3124
    @charlesstitchwong3124 5 місяців тому +1

    i have to admit that your plot twists are totally catching me off guard now

  • @uplink-on-yt
    @uplink-on-yt 5 місяців тому +1

    The "Rest In Peace" mattress store is happy to serve

  • @liliowen2132
    @liliowen2132 6 місяців тому +14

    I want the bed that makes me first longer. Winning is a good feeling.

    • @John-Smith02
      @John-Smith02 6 місяців тому +1

      Smh. Wrong way to look at it. You see, the right way to look at it is as a winner. And winners never lose. That's why I never lost my v card.

  • @christopherguerro21
    @christopherguerro21 6 місяців тому +4

    The smile though at 0:14 😂

    • @QwentyJ
      @QwentyJ 5 місяців тому

      What about the one at 1:39?

  • @SufferingSuccotash
    @SufferingSuccotash 6 місяців тому +2

    Note: not garunteed to improve performance.

  • @TooMuchXoxo
    @TooMuchXoxo 5 місяців тому +1

    working hard sweating...running around frantically then you hear the "are you having fun yet" 😐

  • @maboroshi1687
    @maboroshi1687 5 місяців тому +2

    Well, learned a new phrase today 😂

  • @venkatesha5928
    @venkatesha5928 5 місяців тому +1

    Bro has good marketing skills

  • @dfx13productions47
    @dfx13productions47 6 місяців тому +2

    Happy Thursday everyone haha and merry thanksgiving

  • @_Cetarial
    @_Cetarial 6 місяців тому +9

    This video put me to sleep, thanks Cyanide and Happiness!

  • @aridontou7544
    @aridontou7544 5 місяців тому +2

    I was waiting to see that couple sleep at night cuddling that corpse...

  • @Ethonra
    @Ethonra 5 місяців тому +1

    "Sleeping peacefully" with a very visible frown on his face. 😅

  • @trinstonmichaels7062
    @trinstonmichaels7062 5 місяців тому +3

    What an amazing salesman

  • @Eltrio2
    @Eltrio2 5 місяців тому +1

    0:12) Those are the eyes of a man who has heard this joke seven times in the past three hours.

  • @JuanPablo-su6vw
    @JuanPablo-su6vw 6 місяців тому +1

    There are shorts that I KNOW were made fast to show a promotion at the end

  • @Reustuss
    @Reustuss 6 місяців тому +1

    Netflix, hire these guys already!!

  • @SnowmanStudios75
    @SnowmanStudios75 6 місяців тому +1

    Justified. The customer assaulted him first by flinging bodily fluids on him.

  • @SCP-323WendigoSkull
    @SCP-323WendigoSkull 5 місяців тому

    Lasted 15 seconds. Title is accurate. Thanks explosm!

  • @TheReaverOfDarkness
    @TheReaverOfDarkness 5 місяців тому +1

    Plot twist: customer says "This is such a nice mattress...I dunno, I guess I'll just have to splurge on it!!"

  • @jerijayz3929
    @jerijayz3929 5 місяців тому +1

    Jobs can be stressful. it is dearly and eagerly noted. lol

  • @tylerjones1196
    @tylerjones1196 4 місяці тому +1

    Bro, killed somebody on that mattress then sold it second Slater

  • @MRAY4TW
    @MRAY4TW 5 місяців тому +1

    Imagine waking up from a nightmare only to realize that you work in sales.

  • @jacintopmdacosta3976
    @jacintopmdacosta3976 5 місяців тому +1

    Every publicity is a good publicity!

  • @superanimeniac
    @superanimeniac 5 місяців тому +1

    it's like cashiers at a store every time an item doesn't scan... "OH HO, I GUESS It'S FREE!!!"

  • @cyberianhusky6663
    @cyberianhusky6663 5 місяців тому +1

    Looks like he’s… dead asleep.

  • @TragoudistrosMPH
    @TragoudistrosMPH 5 місяців тому +1

    Modern medicine has improved so much that the only patients that die now are the ones who told puns...
    Hospitals truly serve the community...

  • @howlingguardian9005
    @howlingguardian9005 5 місяців тому

    I can confirm there's nothing as painful as people who think they're the first to make the same stupid joke.

  • @VooshSpokesman
    @VooshSpokesman 6 місяців тому +1

    Love from a Vaush and SrPelo fan!

  • @notaninconspicuoususername6065
    @notaninconspicuoususername6065 5 місяців тому +1

    So that's what would happen if I worked in retail for 2 days.

  • @BLOODKINGbro
    @BLOODKINGbro 5 місяців тому +1

    Snap crackle pop. Thought this was the purple shirtedeye stabbers origin story.

  • @jakubfuntal8628
    @jakubfuntal8628 5 місяців тому +1

    Uuu that's a good one Jim

  • @SupaPhly0
    @SupaPhly0 6 місяців тому

    this is a sleeper hit!

  • @meriton379
    @meriton379 2 місяці тому

    Anything to make the sales better😈😎🤣

  • @thunderbasilisk1352
    @thunderbasilisk1352 5 місяців тому +1

    I honestly thought the bed would flip over and lock then into a fridge for later consumption

  • @naomisastra2681
    @naomisastra2681 5 місяців тому +1

    One day i just thought "ayo what was the name of that one channel 🤔" and i remembered the oppisite day video and i just searched "oppisite day" and i found the vide,now i finally have my....childhood.....

  • @Rainok
    @Rainok 5 місяців тому +1

    I don't know, I think I better sleep on it

  • @devinty718
    @devinty718 6 місяців тому +17

    Was expecting a Thanksgiving related video, but this works too I guess.

    • @THETRIVIALTHINGS
      @THETRIVIALTHINGS 6 місяців тому +3

      Technically it is because Thanksgiving meal makes you sleepy.

    • @aspebb
      @aspebb 6 місяців тому +2

      Happy American Thanksgiving

  • @VaibhavShewale
    @VaibhavShewale 5 місяців тому +2

    i will die to have one of those

  • @justaregularguy5332
    @justaregularguy5332 5 місяців тому +2

    Didn’t see the title on the video though😂😂😂

  • @blandbeans4081
    @blandbeans4081 6 місяців тому +1

    I luke how the title of the vid and the shortt are different
    I gues they were SLEEPING in their decision

  • @user-jl7cz2pe6d
    @user-jl7cz2pe6d 5 місяців тому +1

    Somebody really should've given that joke a rest

  • @Randallsilver
    @Randallsilver 5 місяців тому +1

    Customers are always sooooo original and funny. After a while, I just started to obviously fake laugh and go "wow I NEVER heard that one before" until they were really uncomfortable. Yeah I hated my job. Duh.

  • @lynnwellmathews2684
    @lynnwellmathews2684 5 місяців тому +1

    The title tho😂

  • @devilsmessanger
    @devilsmessanger 5 місяців тому +1

    he would kill for a sale !

  • @dwaynemontgomery1851
    @dwaynemontgomery1851 4 місяці тому

    im the opposite of this, the employee that wont stop making the same jokes to the customers, i have the raw sarcasm of 100 men and im not afraid to use it

  • @DTay-bn2ro
    @DTay-bn2ro 5 місяців тому

    Yay blackfriday sale