The cost of menstrual shame | Kayla-Leah Rich | TEDxBoise
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- Опубліковано 18 чер 2017
- Somewhere between a young girl convinced she is dying because she is bleeding, and an artist who paints with only her period blood, is the happy medium where we can discuss menstruation as naturally as the process itself. What is the cost of the privacy and silence in which we enshroud menstruation? We need to remove menstruation shame, replacing it with feminine dignity. Period.
Kayla-Leah is courageously ending the silence on the topic of menstruation. After experiencing a period in a third-world country, she realized that even in developed nations, there is a cost to not having permission to talk about what happens with and to the female body during menstruation. She brings humor and reason to this important conversation.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
The fact that I would hide my bra underclothes when I go to my university’s laundromat shows that it’s not just shame around periods. It’s shame around woman’s bodies.
"shame around woman’s bodies"? Induced by those blokes who take it as a signal to easily address their "charm" to a woman that doesn't want to get to know such nuts?
I hid my period for over a year before I told my mom. My sister taught me how to use a tampon so I could go swimming. This needs to be talked about so shame can be no longer associated with periods. She said it perfectly. End the shame. Period.
Zetta Simpson me too. I hid mine for over 3 years until I began vomiting and having horrific pain. I had to tell her.
@@Landry16 wtf why you people have some issues
Men hide puberty issues
@@Landry16 Same for me, I hid it for over five years. But I told her today, I'm still very embarrassed and ashamed. But the pain got too bad like you said, so I had to.
@@Landry16exact same thing happened to me, a year before I said anything. Had excruciating pain at one point where couldn't lie anymore, thankfully the conversation is being had nowadays less shame bit by bit
I grew up in a household with a mother and one of three girls close in age. With 4 people menstuating in one home, it was more amusing that our mother would get embarrassed. My father never gets embarrassed, he's ex military and told us medics used a tampon for his gunshot wound once. I think if it had been left up to my mother, I'd probably be embarrassed, but Dad was never uncomfortable asking if we needed supplies. As an adult, he's said with three teenage daughters, he considered periods a good sign that none of us were pregnant. :D
How awesome that your dad was so open about it. And hilarious that he saw your period as a good sign you were not pregnant!
Having had some time to think about it some more, I'm more appreciative that he was like that. It's easy to focus on what your parents got wrong, but harder to spot what they got right.
I hope my kiddos try to focus on what I have done right. Although often whenever they are upset with me I usually tell them, "Well, every kid hates something about their parents, If you hate me for not letting you stay up till midnight I am okay with that!"
ffff
Your dad is awesome!!! 😊😊😊❤️
I’ve had extremely painful periods for years and never knew it wasn’t normal. I was recently diagnosed with endometriosis and it’s now too difficult to surgically remove. I was told “it’s been there for a while”. If I would have known that periods like this weren’t normal I probably could have surgically removed it before it got this bad :( This is a topic that needs to be discussed for a multitude of reasons
having cramps is normal. extreme pain is not.
I was 8, almost 9, when I got my first period. My family wouldn’t shut up about how “you’re a woman now! :D”
Think about that.
I wasn’t even double digits. And my period made me a “woman”.
We can’t hide this and we can’t push such heavy weight on our kids. It’s horrific.
I wouldn't say that as a woman.😮 I wouldn't even say to my child: "oh, you are bleeding now. But it's normal. Get a pad." "Bleeding" term is vague and is usually known by kids as a term to refer to a severe cut or a fatal injury/damage - not as a short way to describe a healthy uterus shedding as part of reproductive cycle of the human species.
Therefore, using this term to talk to kids would be misinforming them, in my opinion.
If I had a child, I would tell her to be ready and not wait for sporadic blood drops in the middle of the day and only after that give her a pad. My child would be ready and prepared ahead of time in order to avoid a confusing and embarrassing moment in public. And when the cycle period happens for the first time, I would kindly remind her:
" you're losing baby blood - it is not your blood! So it's okay. And it's totally natural and healthy for our bodies. I know it's inconvenient, but it's so important - without this blood-rich tissue humans would never exist!"
it saddens me that most other ted talks have thousand of likes and views, but all of the ones about periods never have more than a thousand likes, sometimes barely 100. Its just sad...
Dasha thank you for being willing to watch, and hopefully to share this important message.
this hit so hard i cant even explain it. i am a 25 year old stay at home mother for my 3 years old son his father and i still live together but are no longer together. This man allows me to sleep in his home on a donated mattress in the middle of the living room. he does not financially support me in any other way, so food or hygiene products, and yes even pads are hard to come by for me. i struggle every month to find some way to control and manage my period or even to wash myself. it seems weird to people that though i am not homeless i still don't live with normal basic hygienic needs met. this ted talk had me in tears i am with my son all day while getting a degree at night i cannot wait to get one and a job to create a better life for my son and i. my son i vow will not grow up like his father he will have every respect in the world for women and menstruation and have the understanding and knowledge of how hard these simple items are such a necessity. thank you for this it has re-inspired hope in me that one day it will be better for me and i will be able to make a difference for other woman struggling without supplies.
I sorry that I didn't see this message earlier. I am wondering if you have some resources in your community that you can access.
This is horrible...I hope your situation has improved. If you don't have money to buy, try really clean cloth, my mom back in the day actually used cloth, as long as you keep them clean and dry, there won't be much chance of infection.
Such a great message and so needed! With all the talk of equal rights, why do we hid one of the most fundamental things that makes us female?
Jenifer Cox The same reason we hide poo, urine and snot- it's DISGUSTING (ps. I'm a woman). by your logic why should men have to hide their semen- a fundamental part of what makes him a man?
Rebekah Segun we don’t shame them for it
So eye opening. This strikes a chord with me and sends my heart out to these women.
Even as a 39 year old woman, I still can't help but feel ashamed and embarrassed whenever I get my periods, even though we all know it's normal, it's absolutely mortifying to see bodily function that's out of our control on our clothes for everyone to see, especially when the period cycles tend to change from time to time so it's always hard to predict of when miss time of the month arrives. No woman wants to walk around with blood stains on her pants, clothing, couch, or car seat. It definitely spikes anxiety when you're around other people and they can see it.
When I was an anthropology student, I remember the Archaeology teacher (university, professor, Uruguay, South America, 1999) saying that, for marine research, having female investigators on the team was uncomfortable because they mestruate. That statement really made me sick, for it came from a higlhy cultivated person.
Wow, Yes, surprisingly even highly cultivated people are uncomfortable with biology.
A period is a monthly gift. It took me 32 years to understand this. Thankyou for this lovely talk!!
Thank you Britt, some people view their period as a gift, the ability to create families, also the ability to cast off each month is a gift to their body. Being a woman rocks!
Thanks for starting the conversation and making a ripple effect in slaying shame and bringing awareness to global shame and silence around menstruation.
To all the mothers and daughters of the world . . no more silence or shame! We were created to reproduce and periods are required for 50% of the world. This is my friend Kayla-Leah Rich's TedXBoise Talk. She brings the the subject into the light with humor and honesty. Share and stop the silence!!
All women need to listen to this!!! What we don't know about we women !!! Kayla-Leah does a fantastic way of sharing this message !!!
One of the most eye-opening talks I've ever heard. Thank you for sharing this message with the world Kayla.
Really powerful message Kayla-Leah. I am humbled by the tenacity with which you do your part to communicate this hidden, powerful problem that needs to be addressed.
I love the comment about rustle-free wrappers- gasp! What if another girl knows I'm on my period?! Yet, I remember unwrapping those ever-hidden items as quietly as I could when I was in high school. Great talk!
This talk is so well done. I'm pretty open in conversations in my world, but it's amazing to consider how much work there is to be done in our communities and far beyond. This is very inspiring to up my game and do more beyond my immediate circle.
Love that this is continuing the conversation about ending the shame and secrecy around menstruation. Way to go!
MUCH NEEDED CONVERSATION!!!!! Great job!!! Sharing with everyone!!
I just bought my teen girls a menstrual cup from Ruby Cup, they give a matching cup to a girl in a 3rd world country. They also teach the girls to use them and set up.a place to microwave the cup to clean it.
The menstrual cup is an excellent period solution, Unfortunately many women and girls around the word won't try them, including many women in the US. Culturally many places on the globe have taboos against anything inserted. It is very economical, sustainable, and earth friendly.
Why are sanetery items a "luxury item" a man made up that law for sure.
Thank you for listening. I hope we can change the laws.
oh man.....
This is educational and should be shared and shared and shared
Amazing! I love Kayla-Leah's passion and courage to slay the shame!
An amazing project! Connection among women around the globe! Way to go Kayla!
wow Kayla, you really rocked this ... every word flowed from you like a beautiful unstopped menstrual flow. thank you. so much gratitude for the service you're doing for our world
Oh Sora! I I love that you felt it flowed from me!
We need to throw a 'first period' party. Something for every girl to get excited about and look forward to. The greeting card manufacturers can run with this one and somewhere down the line there'll be complaints that it's been too commercialised.. I look forward to that day!
Days For Girls has a Club DFG where groups can start clubs in schools that have period parties, education, and raise funds for the global efforts. I always thought I would have a period party with a daughter, but the pink never came in my house :)
My girls totally get a mani pedi when they start their period! Hasn't happened yet, but I have three coming down the line. :-)
Actually, this is done in Sri Lanka and is known as a 'Big Girl Party'. But sadly, even after the party a period is something that you should hide and never talk but with other women in whispers afterwards. They also think its common to experience pain with menstruation too, and that women should learn how to bear the pain, which leads to many cases of endometriosis going unnoticed in Sri Lanka.
It'll never fly. Because the trans will throw a hissy about being left out of the greeting card market.
Wow! I've been waiting so long to hear a speech like this. Truly incredible.
Thank you for watching, I hope you are able to share with others who need to hear it.
During their life education discussions last week, the boys at my daughter's school were removed from the classroom before the conversation about periods took place... So infuriating & disappointing! We were once considered a progressive country here in Australia. Now, we are taxed on tampons & the like, as they are classified as 'luxury items' >=(
Update May 2023: The tampon tax was removed in Australia a couple of years ago. One step closer.
My 5th grade son is having this very talk at school today!! And yes, girls and boys separate. So when he returns home we are having a discussion about his body changes during puberty and changes girls experience. He already knows much from my work and helps often. Here we send girls to the nurses office for supplies, as though it is an illness to have a period. We have room to improve!
Good news!
Good news! We moms and dads will no longer be burdened with having to have "the talk" because the trans groomers will be taking over and raising our kids for us.
Wonderful solution you came up with, the reusable pads hung to dry--sustainable and affordable and helps women feel good about themselves and hopefully, their cycle.
Some very eye opening information! Thank you for talking about it!!
Thank you for your work! 🙌 you are appreciated!
Thank you J Jayne
5 people who disliked are stone hearted. -_- they need a doctor
Oh Alphabetical Deepti . you are so good to humanity.
Only thumbs up allowed :) Just Kidding, but thanks for your thoughts.
Nah, they're just jealous ticked off transies.
Okay I'm from Uganda and the boys at my school act like our skins are contagious if they by some unfortunate event find out about your period
Amara, I am sorry I didn't see this response until now. I always felt boys would act that way towards me too, even my own husband and boys, but I have found that people who care about you are supportive. Also, some boys don't have any experience with menstruation except the taboos and shame. I hope they can learn otherwise.
Loved this brave message. I needed this. So true in Asian culture. Can you share more of how I can help with those countries who really have no access to pads and fem supplies?
A powerful message
Kayla, please let me help. I'm not very technical, but I really want to help. I have had period shame all of my life and I didn't realize it until recently. Please, direct me on how to help. You are an angel. Xoxo
I didn't know that video was about this topic but you know what, I am glad that I watched it and had some knowledge about women period.
This never occurred to me either. Once we know then it's our resposibility to do something.....
Well done!
Thank you for helping women celebrate their bodies and bringing much-needed awareness to supporting girls and women here and in other countries with feminine supplies. #daysforgirls #shameslayer #planetpeopledbyperiods
yes, love the hashtags too. sharing!
When I first got my period I thought you had it forever everyday
Glad that I live in China, where sports stars and actresses can confidently speak about their periods in public!
Well, I hope you're government can manage to keep out the transies.
She made me cried
You are amazing
I LOVE this talk. ♡ I love my period.
And I love your comment!!!
We have all white uniforms in nursing school... so hard to focus on education when 100% of your time is spent freaking out in silence that you might be bleeding through.. and I'm almost 40... not a new teen bleeding...
Uniforms are one of the areas I didn't have time to cover, Most people don't stop to consider menstruation when coming up with uniforms, light khaki pants are not much better than white.
hj kn light uniforms are inappropriate for girls and women. dark discreet uniforms for women are a necessity in schools and jobs but its not addressed
Women birth men. Without women, men, even chauvinist men are not able to exist. Without women, it would be like removing all of the wolves from Yellowstone park. The park deteriorated. When the wolves were reintroduced to Yellowstone Park, the park started to thrive again. Yessss!!!!!
Don't let the trans hear you talking like this. Because they'll send the SJWs out and you'll go into hiding.
i too when i had my first period thought that i had some internal bleeding and that i might die it's funny cause i didn't care i remember not being afraid
This is insane ... feminism should be talking about this instead if cat calling on the street
talking about cat calling is also important, it makes women live in fear. In most, even Western countries, women fear going out alone at night etc, for a good reason. It is part of the problem.
Adam, thank you for taking time to watch this. I agree that this is a topic not spoken about by very many people. It is either unawareness or the soap box they choose to stand on is different. I appreciate that you listened to the talk.
@@kayla-leahrich2006 What was the non-profit that helped women in developing countries with their period called?
When I got my period I thought I wet myself I went about the schoolday in the same pants acting like nothing happend being embraced I "wet myself" I wasn't about to go to the office and tell them I wet myself
I live in America and I thought I was dying too.
Yes, it isn't isolated to "developing nations" .
I was ashamed so much that I had leaks cause I was afraid of someone seeing me go change
Goddess bless it!!
I hated everything too. I hated my period immensly.
🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
Thanks girl you make it let’s awkward for the boys.
Nice
Thank you for taking time to watch this.
Adequate sizes of products. Feel theres not sizes for different width legs. Im thin but need large im not tall . Up to certain weight. Im 44 kilos. Its the last size. What if the person is not advised to use other products now size of leg. After 4 brands didnt work I looked it up. It has to cater for younger people but they're small and that's just not great
.what if the person is muscular or very should be accommodated. Im dissapointed and 7 stone 4 is often not healthy.
The Red Tent movement is real, ladies... search out in your community and online. You’re not alone and you ARE better then the words that define you and your blood! Mine in FB is "Mama Red Bears Moon Lodge and Two Spirit Tent"
Thank you for watching, and for being a part of the Red Tent Movement. I am about to head to Cambodia to share this work there. I love this global message is finally getting the traction it has always deserved.
I work with DeAnna Lam. You should look her up, wonderful lady who loves to travel as well!. Save and successful journey sister!
Well, I hope you hire good armed guards to protect your organization. Because the trans SJWs will attack and claim it's justified because they are being excluded.
It's so funny, I have a few female German Shepherd Show Dogs that my son's adored, but when they were in heat, they didn't want the dogs near them, however they would pick up their big piles of poop. So funny.
In India mensuration is taboo
Yamini Sharma Why
Yamini thank you for messaging, Days For Girls is working in India to help remove this Taboo, I hope this talk and your efforts can help.
Feminine supplies🙄
though this is an important conversation to be had, I, being an afab non-binary individual, am feeling a bit excluded/misgendered by the language used.
Get over it.
lol
Okay but the woman who ran a marathon without any products? Isn't that unhealthy?
Not necessarily
Nope! There's nothing wrong with free bleeding. Since she ran a lot, there's a good chance her flow was little.
I could take this speaker so much more seriously if she would stop the crocodile tears. Seriously, what did she think people around the world did? We already know how needed feminine supplies are needed at homeless shelters. The shame women feel about periods is different to each person - I can understand why a teen might be shy about it, but once you're in your 20's, you should start loosing that shame. I have no shame buying tampons.
Man up. Deal with life.
You must be a trans activists.