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Mary, Narcissists have other traits that don't apply to musicians such as: 1- Lack of empathy and a willingness to hurt others in the pursuit of self-satisfaction. A musician who makes people happy and seeks to share his art in a positive way would not fit this profile. 2 - Exploitation of others / Systematic manipulation and deception: Narcissists often tend to exploit others in detrimental ways to achieve their own goals without considering the impact on others. An artist seeking recognition does not necessarily have to exploit other people in detrimental ways to achieve success. You're not a narcissist, you're an artist ! Big difference.
@@theplanetruthunfortunately UA-cam does that to eliminate channel promotion ,self promotion Wich actually doesn't make much sense , difficult to help someone "where to go" when UA-cam stops the helpful attempts , I definitely feel your pain ,it's frustrating , someone needs to make a more open freedom platform of a new better social media , , , ,
But... the thumbnail for this video literally has Mary's mug next to the word NARCISSIST. It crossed MY mind at that point, and after what you just wrote, I'm wondering if maybe I'm extra suggestible right now.
If you can ask that question and be open to the answer, then you are not a narcissist. Have you heard that comment in other parts of your life? Probably not. True narcissism crosses all parts of life. Can you feel empathy, or feel badly for someone who is suffering? Then, not a narcissist. You’re in good shape on this one, imo.
I lived with one that would ask the question, but being that she could never be guilty of having done anything wrong, she always came to the wrong conclusion....
Fully agree. A true narcissist is so self-absorbed they don't consider the feelings, thoughts, emotions or actions of others. It's all about them . . . and getting noticed even if it means trampling on others without concern.
@@timcobb1752that's the being open to the answer part that is necessary for genuine and honest self reflection, which indeed is very rare among people with full on narcissistic personality disorder.
You’re not a narcissist, Mary. You have a healthy measure of confidence and entrepreneurial spirit. You’ve demonstrated the ability to question yourself and learn from criticism that a narcissist struggles with.
Yeah that's what it is... not narcissism, but some expression of that entrepreneurial spirit. I was having a hard time reconciling "narcissism" with someone whom I only know her public persona. But after seeing the thumbnail, I was like, there's something! Yeah... entrepreneurial spirit is it. Wait, no... it's having a confessional style, but not really divulging many personal details. Maybe that's it. At first, I thought she was an ET. She's a woman of mystery.
Wow, you flipped the criticism to your advantage, amazing. Respect went up x10. Me and my daughter watched it together, it was really thought provocative. You are our hope and reflection of our musical journey. Keep it up!
@@nubisnotstump that's a good point XD Fewest people who seek appearing in media or on stages are not above-average in narcissism. But a person with the full on narcissistic personality disorder is extremely unlikely to ask themselves that question. There are a few here on youtube like "self aware narcissist" or "HG Tudor".
Except now everyone knows that asking yourself this question = not a narcissist. So what does a narcissist do with this info? Publicly ask the question in some way to garner support that they are not one. Not calling Mary one, just stating narcissistic awareness content has over saturated social media, that even narcissists know enough of the basics to mask better than before.
Not true. NPD is one of the least understood "disorders". It's an extremely wide spectrum with a diversity of traits. People with NPD can absolutely acknowledge they have it.
I find it amazing how many people that are completely clueless about narcissism that claim to be experts on the subject. You hit the nail on the head, creatives to an extent need to have that extreme confidence and belief that they are the best that has ever been when performing, anything less and they aren’t giving it their best. The key is WHILE PERFORMING. Are musicians/entertainers/performers narcissists? Some most definitely are. I’m chasing my dream after shelving it for 30 years, I call this season in my life my “season of unreasonable confidence”, do I truly think I’m the best there has ever been? Of course not, do I approach every single writing, recording, rehearsal, photo shoot as if I am? Damn right I do, if I don’t no one will.
Jimi Hendrix was always one of my favorite because his incredible virtuosity on the guitar was only surpassed by his infamous humility and lack of ego. I became a musician because music moves my soul and, as an introvert, I don't communicate well on a social level so my music is my way to communicate my thoughts and feelings to the world in hope that someone out there can relate to it.
It is believe he had Borderline Personality Disorder so of course he had humility and lack of superego, and it's also why he abused drugs. BPD is most often misdiagnosed as bipolar disorder (by well-meaning but under-educated psychologists).
@@le_th_ If you actualy read up on the etymology of person via Latin persōna , you will find it to mean a mask or actor, in which the whole world is a stage. Are you for real to buy into the whole affair of modern psychology when the ancient greeks had worked it all out already?
My late mother in law dated him for 2 years when she was a teenager. He was known to be kind to her. Perhaps with the drug usage, his behaviour changed over time.
Ahhh…the narcissist. As a musician, I have dealt with this quite a bit!!! (People saying I am narcissistic.) Basically, I’m just a person who happens to EXPRESS myself through music! Well said, my friend!!!
“Front-man syndrome” or “diva behaviour” isn’t the same thing as narcissism. Psychiatrists & the wider world need a different word for the hurtful-to-everyone clinical sort of narcissism.
You are very entertaining, Mary! Your level of self-awareness and enthusiasm for the art & craft of music & for exploring issues like this (rather than taking offense) is NOT narcissicistic, it's honest, confident, & the essence of a creative personality. That's what I see.
The incidence of diagnosable narcissism is way lower than people think it is. People just like throwing that word around without knowing what it really is, how it’s diagnosed, etc.
Ms. Spender, keep up the excellent, brilliant, and meticulous work, and if someone doesn't like what you say or present, they can go through the blood, sweat, and tears process of lighting, scripting, filming, editing, and uploading a video response explaining and justifying their point of view about you. I just think you are really damn great and have worked your posterior off to achieve the success you have enjoyed thus far. Namaste. 🙏 And may you have many more years of success and accolades.
The Lemmy Airheads reference tells me that, even if you are a narcissist, you are still awesome! As others have said, self-reflection like this suggests you are not afflicted with this malady. You are a performer, trying to grow your brand. If you are good to others, don't worry about it.
Mary, I love how you take a comment like that and examine it. It's so much more effective than getting angry at someone trying to troll you. Thank you for the continued great content.
Oh dear. I get a handful of viewers who call me out as a narcissist, too. It is so lazy when someone says that. Of course, one has to be theatrical and "on" like an actor when making and presenting videos on UA-cam. Thanks for this!
It is indeed lazy, and I suspect, often a form of projection. Additionally, it seems to me that a heck of a lot of frequent posters on internet forums and social media are addicted to a feeling of moral superiority over others. It's like they sleep better at night if they've managed to accuse strangers of being some form of -ist. Or, am I too projecting right now! Maybe, but for all my other faults, lazily accusing others of character defects without knowing that person is something I do avoid doing.
Je suis toujours surpris par la profondeur des discussions que je retrouve dans tes vidéos Mary. Il est évident que tu prends le temps de lire sur le sujet et de rassembler tes idées en un texte cohérent afin d'enregistrer une "bonne" vidéo. Merci beaucoup Mary. J'adore ce que tu fais. C'est-à-dire ta musique, tes collaborations, et - bien sûr - les vidéos comme celui-ci où tu abordes un sujet précis. En passant, j'adore ta voix posée et si douce 😊
Hey Duolingo might be working Bernard, I also love Mary's work. I get the feeling Mary's creative is a bit fueled by her passion of research. A dual-brain thinker! (Not from a need to portray a god like image) To speak to the trends in music, lyrics are the only part of a song that can actually illustrate ideas. Topics that are more sentimental to the individual allow for the listener to identify with their work. Really good artists have an ability to allow for different kinds of people to identify with their work. Way to go! Allons-zi!
Amidst all the craziness in life today, I sincerely enjoy your ability to educate us with your journey and all of the aspects of it, good and bad.If you ever tire of the music business as your one true love of life, you can certainly continue to share your research and stories as a wonderful lecturer.
Hey Mary - you are definitely not a narcissist. I’m not a licensed psychiatrist or psychotherapist but I believe since you care about us, your loyal audience, and aim to provide smart, thoughtful and really intelligent content you are definitely not staring at yourself in the water but looking at us. What we aren’t doing well as a community or a society is helping people appreciate themselves for their talents. And hey, if there are Bonos in this world, they always get balanced by an Edge. One bone to pick Ms. Mary - you coming to Canada someday? Keep up the awesomeness Mary!
Thanks Mary! Art is just feeding the need to express yourself with more than words. All artists are insecure and fragile to criticism because of the vulnerable nature of a truthful performance. Musical performance is one of the fastest ways I know to get it out and feel instant gratification. Courage in Art is part of the creative process. I always believed the little Greek boy fell in the water and drowned himself…
Judging someone as being narcissistic is done so from a moral "high ground". Rather narcissistic in itself, in my opinion. Keep doing what you're doing and leave the judging to the narcissists
Not always. Some people have studied these disorders, academically, for so many years that they not only can spot a narcissist they can tell you which type of narcissistic coping strategy someone is using, and when their behavior and statements show they're in narcissistic collapse or circling the drain. For example, saying Donald Trump and Kanye are narcissists is not only accurate, it's fairly well-known publicly. Saying that Taylor Swift admits she's a covert narcissist in her song lyrics is not a statement from any moral high ground, it's a fact. She states this in her lyrics. Considering that narcissistic personality disorder is a characterological disorder aka character disorder (as in MORAL character), you don't have to head to high ground to be automatically morally superior to them because they're not far from morally bankrupt. Again, stating facts...not claiming superiority. It's a spectrum disorder so you'll notice that some are more overt and brag about their moral bankruptcy while others are more covert in trying to hide it (like Swift has for over a decade, until stating it and her overinflated ticket prices reflecting how special she truly thinks she is). The most frightening ones are the ones who are more closeted because you never see them coming until it's too late. A Trump, Kanye, Hitler, or Hussein let you know how unique they perceive themselves to be, and how above the law. You don't have to use discernment to assess people's character, but I prefer to avoid narcissists like the plague, so I will continue to assess people's moral character and behavior for signs so I can avoid them.
@@le_th_ Something tells me the person who called her a narcissist wasn't one of those people. I think someone that educated would address the topic more tactfully.
I agree and most musicians are empaths like myself. We take our pain from a narcissistic world and make something beautiful out of it. I was married to a Borderline which is very close to a narcissist.
No, narcissism is a manifestation of traits and behaviors that can be objectively identified and cataloged. Narcissism's manifestation is a coping mechanism to deal with deep seated insecurities. The thing about narcissists is that they often self sabotage because although they may attempt to display overconfidence and self importance on the surface, deep down they don't believe it. Eventually that deep insecurity destroys their interpersonal relationships halting their personal and professional growth.
I luv the Mary Spender Trio ... !!! I hope they appear more often ... Ms. Spender you are not a narcissist.... ! ... You are so creative & so gifted ... It is a Warped mind & a jealous one who would think that .... ❤
Even the term "creatives"; it's capture, warping and taken hostage as THE abbreviated single-word term to describe "producers of videos on your social media engine of choice", is a great example of narcissism.
Narcissism is a trendy term of the last few years on social media. As usual with these things most people don’t really understand its meaning. It’s used as just another way of putting someone down and boosting their ego at the same time. The be an effective artist you really do need a considerable self belief and a certain resilience to criticism. Without those characteristics your artistic life will be fraught and torturous. The mean spirited self centred narcissistic types don’t play well with others. We don’t want them on stage with us for one simple reason. When we play together our individual jobs are, at least in part , to help make everyone else look great. That’s how we become bigger than the sum of our parts. Narcissists can’t do that. Wonderful video Mary!
Many speakers and entertainers and teachers and ministers love hearing their own voice. So, join the crowd. Nothing wrong with it. There are some celebrities who are amazingly humble like Henry Winkler and Paula Abdul but enjoying attention is not a crime. Go for it!
You nailed it Mary, the creative without empathy leads to the unhealthy version of Narcissism. That's not what comes across from you however. You, like myself and many of my colleagues are deeply sensitive to others feelings and its what makes us love to create but fearful of performing sometimes. And yes, we have all had that singer who does it for the attention and treats you like a hired carpenter on his own personal building site. I am loving your channel and admire your confidence, honesty and maturity. Brilliant insights, please do keep creating!
There’s a reason the word narcissistic is part of our vocabulary, because it’s something that almost everyone can relate to. Being self-centered or narcissistic is simply being a human being. We are, by our very nature, inherently tied to our own perspective as individuals. That’s a relic of our evolutionary design for survival. True narcissism is a maladaptive means of coping or an actual neurophysiological manifestation of a malformed brain where the individual actually lacks the part of the brain which allows them to be empathetic and conceptualize the distinction between self and other. They think only of themselves because there is only the self, which makes everyone else simply an extension of them. Seeking attention or being self-focused does NOT make you a narcissist.
Not to inflate your ego and potentially feed your “narcissism” but I could genuinely watch/listen to you talk for hours at a time, your voice is so soothing and your eyes are gorgeous! 😅
Talent can make a lesser viewer see arrogance or narcissism. Mary is just talented. Highly talented people are always on the edge as viewed from below.
Never! The whole point of the internet is: "I have something I'd like to share with you." I guess you share your lovely music with us, and it makes some people feel left out.
I know a bit about this topic :) Calling specific others "narcissists" is a classic form of... projection. Unless one is a psychologist, we're not qualified to diagnose others. At best we could say "this person has many characteristics of narcissists". But making videos and having fun requires some courage to put ourselves out there - and few real narcissists have the talent to actually do anything.
Yep, fully agreed. Another driver in such behaviour could be a pathological need to feel morally superior to others. Deep down we all probably would like to think we're the ones with superior character, but a healthy dose of humility should remind us that it's probably not true.
I knew a musician friend for like 4 years and 3 years in I realized he was most likely a narcissist. (He's 57-58) I never said it to his face, but I brought it up with people we hung around. I didn't say he was one, but I feel like he was/is one. He busked to make a living and coach surfed, pretty much a bum. He was very manipulative, social, and he hung around younger people (15-25) majority of the time, including me. I could see he was taking advantage of people through their generosity (even me), but if they ended up having a problem with him he'd turn around and get mad and talk crap about them. I felt he turned a lot of local musicians against me and made stuff up about me because I flirted/messed with a chick he was sorta involved with. (they weren't bf and gf or anything, it wasn't serious.) But I think he felt intimidated or something and decided to socially destroy me through spreading rumors. There's more to it why I strongly feel he's a narcissist, like his random bouts of anger, jealousy, and "friendly insults." But anyway. He was the first encounter I've had with a narcissistic "friend" and he sorta burned me in my home town. I'm a huge introvert and he's extroverted so he was running his mouth off everywhere we went and played and stuff behind my back and acted all friendly when I was around. If you read this thanks. There's no meaning behind it
In general, I'd agree. Although, if my friends and family tended to have similar negative opinions, perhaps I'd be inclined to make it my business. After all, none of us are perfect, so we all have room for improvement. Benjamin Franklin saw a need for personal improvement, and had a list of virtues that he would cycle through; he'd focus on one for a time, then move to the next. He also graded himself on each virtue, every night.
SO glad you can take such comments with a grain of salt. People will always try to get your attentionby tearing you down . By responding to this jerk you'll probably NEVER get rid of him now. I like your content, keep up the great work.
Mary Spender a narcissist? No way! Self-absorbed? Not even! Doggedly determined at pursuing her dreams and sharing what she's learned on the way? Absolutely! Mary, the way you share the ups, downs, successes and failures in your endeavors make you authentic. That's the most opposite to narcissism that I can think of.
True narcissists don't question their narcissism. Thank you for being a slice of rational sanity in the world of UA-cam chaos. Hope to see you performing in the Seattle area someday.
Yes, it seems clear that some amount of self-confidence and wanting to be seen is necessary to be a performer (musician, actor, comedian, etc.). We are glad you discussed this in an empathetic way.
I don’t doubt there are undoubtedly countless people, particularly on UA-cam, who are just purely narcissists but for the most part it is confidence, and that’s in no way a bad thing
There is a danger of falling into narcissistic patterns inherent in the “content creator” realm. I suspect that creative persons are often also perfectionists. Wanting, indeed needing, to do their very best at every turn. Perfectionism can often be misread as narcissism. Beyond that, you are primarily a solo performer and a songwriter. The source of your creative energy is inherently personal - your experiences, your challenges, your triumphs. It’s natural that your work originates there. How your perspectives and your art might apply to others, give them perspectives they cannot otherwise find, and bring them joy, is a both a challenge and a profound gift. Thank you…
Narcissism is always second fiddle to empathy because nobody cares what you know unless they see how much you care. Being an empath is painful. I sometimes wish I could shut it down completely, but I'm glad I can't because the alternative is worse
My wife and her sisters have been dealing with their mothers NPD for years. And when it’s that bad, it can really ruin the lives of those around you.. in no way are you a narcissist Mary! Many people can display the occasional narcissistic traits but NPD/clinical narcissisms is next level.
As you pointed out Mary, there is a fine line that separates narcissists from non-narcissists, if you study the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) every single person on the planet, evidences traits from within each and every diagnosis, the difference though, is that most people considered "sane", don't fully meet all criteria required within the specified framework for that disorder, for those that 100% meet those criteria, a diagnosis can then be applied. Although as a creative you may have more narcissistic markers than a non-creative, you certainly don't come close to meeting all the criteria for the diagnosis thereof. Love your work Lovely lady!
3:00 _"and cause etc"_ If a shrink wants to stamp someone like that, he only needs to make sure it becomes maladaptive, he only needs to get people punishing it, and can then declare that the persons "narcissistic traits" are what causes his social suffering.
I worked in mental health for many years and knew several full blown narcissists and many others with strong traits. Having watched many of your videos over the last few years l am pretty confident in saying 'nope not a narcissist, a very driven, slightly obessed muso yes, narcissist no.'
One of the most humble musicians on the internet being called a narcissist just goes to show how unhinged people can be when throwing that particular accusation around.
Mary Spender! I was going to write a long letter, but I think I’ll only tell you how much I appreciate your personality and video contributions! I am a stage actor and know a lot about the subject of narcissism, and your personality is very far from the bad aspects of a narcissistic personality. But talented as few! Keep it up, and don’t forget Eckhardt Tolle, as I recommended to you a long time ago.❤
Its not a question of being or not being a narcissist. It’s a question of where you are on a spectrum of narcissistic traits and whether that assemblage of traits is causing you problems in your life.
As musicians, we all have a small bit of narcissism. The realm of "please notice me, I'm playing music on stage" is often combated by the musician's favorite pastime: CRIPPLING SELF-DOUBT.
As a musician/sound-tech who has worked with a lot of blues greats over the last decade, from Grammy/Juno/Maple Blues award winners I'd say your in good company. You are not a narcissist. Just a working musician just trying to put out some good music and sticking to the roots.
There is an important difference between healthy narcissism, and a healthy sense of self with pathological narcissism. It’s a distinction worth noting.
Everybody has an ego and can therefore slide into narcissism on occasion. In those *small measured doses,* on occasion, narcissistic tendencies can spur creativity and innovation, but full blown narcissism is insidiously destructive and harmful. I deal with a text-book-definition narcissist at my job every day, and it's nothing but a mental drain on everyone who has to navigate around the narcissist's ego. While I suspect that people who embody narcissism fully and completely are in a different category of narcissism than what you describe, I applaud you for finding something positive in narcissism. I didn't see that coming.
Everyone has narcissistic traits, that is totally normal. The question is whether this is in a problematic amount as you describe… I really enjoyed this as you somehow managed to make the topic more interesting than the usual stuff I find to that topic.
Mary, the commenter was not concerned about whether or not you are a narcissist, but of mitigating their own jealously. You owe no one an explanation for your own creative journey, and I would not validate someone's pettiness. I appreciate you taking it in stride an exploring the topic, but I would avoid feeding the trolls.
A cornerstone of narcissism is self righteousness. They don’t make mistakes because it’s always other people or circumstances when things go wrong. Learning from your mistakes is crucial if you want to achieve excellence in any endeavour.
Off topic, but something I noticed and what bothered me a lot with people speaking in videos is how many cuts there are. a ton of channels that have to cut literally every single sentence for the whole thing to make any sense. Very nice to see Mary has that speaking skill, makes listening so enjoyable for me :-p
Narcissism is often a label people use, but when you look deeper, it is not an easy concept to understand. I think some of it means seeing yourself when seeing other people. When writing music, recording, practicing, you need to ignore that inner voice that sometimes comes up, that wants to critic you so hard, or wants to praise you like crazy. At the end of the day, music is about getting connected to your inner self, the true self. So I believe narcissism is rather standing in the way of contributing something good.
Robert Fripp is another example of someone who does tour but essentially hides from the audience. I saw him live with David Sylvian at the Royal Albert Hall, or I should say I heard him live, I didn't actually see him at all! It makes his marriage to Toyah Wilcox even more incredible than it already is, given her presentation of her character to the audience.
Mary, narcissism is very different than being comfortable with playing live. The narcissist is, in their own mind, faultless and they are so self-important that they think that they are the best and the smartest. Dr. Les Carter has UA-cam videos about narcissism that make it clear that a narcissist's mindset is very different than the rest of us. Your album arrived over the weekend and I look forward to listening to it! God bless, Mary!
I have watched your channel for years ! Your humble , and talented and very appreciated! Your definitely in touch with your inner creativity, and understanding and coveying your work!
i do wonder how “i will make a video with characters that are played by myself because it’s cheaper and easier and artists have always struggled to afford the vision they have for their work” gets construed as “im a raging narcissist and this will only be better if i am all these characters are me”, like the latter is an easier leap? ignore the haters, i really enjoy the way you present yourself, and those band videos are always cute and funny. good luck on your tour!
Being a musician, vocalist and lyricist, everything we put out there is open to interpretation and personal taste. Not everyone is going to like what we put out there. But to call someone off the cuff a narcissist, without knowing them personally sounds like jealousy and the trait of a narcissist. If you don't toot your own horn then the world will miss out on a possible magnificent performer. And you may just inspire someone else to greatness, and not even necessarily in the field of music. Let the trolls eat themselves alive with their self hate and negativity. Live your passion and your calling. Never mind what the haters say.Peace and Live Mary. YOU ARE DOING GREAT!
That was a smooth transition to your tour promotion! Very well done. I’m too self-deprecating to be narcissistic. And I suck at creating art so I think there’s a correlation! 😅
I like your thoughtful approach to this topic and that you present the information in an easy to follow way. One thing I disagree with is how you link a charismatic presentation to "faking it till you make it". The fact that enthusiasm helps spreading ideas doesn't mean it has to be fake enthusiasm. I think the alternative to faking enthusiasm is genuinely building it up (if you don't have it already). Like a preacher reminding himself of the amazing truth he's going to deliver and how it can affect people positively - instead of just pretending to be enthusiastic about his message.
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Mary, Narcissists have other traits that don't apply to musicians such as:
1- Lack of empathy and a willingness to hurt others in the pursuit of self-satisfaction. A musician who makes people happy and seeks to share his art in a positive way would not fit this profile.
2 - Exploitation of others / Systematic manipulation and deception: Narcissists often tend to exploit others in detrimental ways to achieve their own goals without considering the impact on others. An artist seeking recognition does not necessarily have to exploit other people in detrimental ways to achieve success.
You're not a narcissist, you're an artist ! Big difference.
I am a licensed psychotherapist. U are not a narcissist! My God!
I think I'm an arsecissist. I think I talk out of my arse a lot.
Ugh. I can’t post a link. And it’s spot on w Mary’s query.
@@theplanetruthunfortunately UA-cam does that to eliminate channel promotion ,self promotion Wich actually doesn't make much sense , difficult to help someone "where to go" when UA-cam stops the helpful attempts , I definitely feel your pain ,it's frustrating , someone needs to make a more open freedom platform of a new better social media , , , ,
At no point in years of watching her videos has the thought of Mary being narcissist crossed my mind.
But... the thumbnail for this video literally has Mary's mug next to the word NARCISSIST. It crossed MY mind at that point, and after what you just wrote, I'm wondering if maybe I'm extra suggestible right now.
In more recent years, the word _"narcissist"_ has been overused to such an extent that it has become void of all meaning.
ok, ok...
Couldn't have said it better myself.
Like racist/racism, sad times we are living. @@Rick_Cleland
If you can ask that question and be open to the answer, then you are not a narcissist. Have you heard that comment in other parts of your life? Probably not. True narcissism crosses all parts of life. Can you feel empathy, or feel badly for someone who is suffering? Then, not a narcissist. You’re in good shape on this one, imo.
I lived with one that would ask the question, but being that she could never be guilty of having done anything wrong, she always came to the wrong conclusion....
Fully agree. A true narcissist is so self-absorbed they don't consider the feelings, thoughts, emotions or actions of others. It's all about them . . . and getting noticed even if it means trampling on others without concern.
@@timcobb1752that's the being open to the answer part that is necessary for genuine and honest self reflection, which indeed is very rare among people with full on narcissistic personality disorder.
@@timcobb1752"Can you believe they called ME a narcissist??"
@@sagittated Everyone is the villain in someone's story somewhere.
You’re not a narcissist, Mary. You have a healthy measure of confidence and entrepreneurial spirit. You’ve demonstrated the ability to question yourself and learn from criticism that a narcissist struggles with.
Yeah that's what it is... not narcissism, but some expression of that entrepreneurial spirit. I was having a hard time reconciling "narcissism" with someone whom I only know her public persona. But after seeing the thumbnail, I was like, there's something! Yeah... entrepreneurial spirit is it. Wait, no... it's having a confessional style, but not really divulging many personal details. Maybe that's it. At first, I thought she was an ET. She's a woman of mystery.
ok, ok...
Wow, you flipped the criticism to your advantage, amazing. Respect went up x10. Me and my daughter watched it together, it was really thought provocative. You are our hope and reflection of our musical journey. Keep it up!
A clinical narcissist will never ask that question.
@@nubisnotstump that's a good point XD Fewest people who seek appearing in media or on stages are not above-average in narcissism.
But a person with the full on narcissistic personality disorder is extremely unlikely to ask themselves that question. There are a few here on youtube like "self aware narcissist" or "HG Tudor".
Except now everyone knows that asking yourself this question = not a narcissist. So what does a narcissist do with this info? Publicly ask the question in some way to garner support that they are not one.
Not calling Mary one, just stating narcissistic awareness content has over saturated social media, that even narcissists know enough of the basics to mask better than before.
Not true. NPD is one of the least understood "disorders". It's an extremely wide spectrum with a diversity of traits. People with NPD can absolutely acknowledge they have it.
@@nubisnotstump Trying to go viral.
I find it amazing how many people that are completely clueless about narcissism that claim to be experts on the subject. You hit the nail on the head, creatives to an extent need to have that extreme confidence and belief that they are the best that has ever been when performing, anything less and they aren’t giving it their best. The key is WHILE PERFORMING. Are musicians/entertainers/performers narcissists? Some most definitely are. I’m chasing my dream after shelving it for 30 years, I call this season in my life my “season of unreasonable confidence”, do I truly think I’m the best there has ever been? Of course not, do I approach every single writing, recording, rehearsal, photo shoot as if I am? Damn right I do, if I don’t no one will.
Jimi Hendrix was always one of my favorite because his incredible virtuosity on the guitar was only surpassed by his infamous humility and lack of ego. I became a musician because music moves my soul and, as an introvert, I don't communicate well on a social level so my music is my way to communicate my thoughts and feelings to the world in hope that someone out there can relate to it.
It is believe he had Borderline Personality Disorder so of course he had humility and lack of superego, and it's also why he abused drugs.
BPD is most often misdiagnosed as bipolar disorder (by well-meaning but under-educated psychologists).
@@le_th_Many artists use drugs to be able to create and perform, otherwise they wouldn't dare doing anything because they're introverts
@@le_th_ Yes it was known when he got drunk a Mr Hyde violent personality would emerge then.
@@le_th_ If you actualy read up on the etymology of person via Latin persōna , you will find it to mean a mask or actor, in which the whole world is a stage. Are you for real to buy into the whole affair of modern psychology when the ancient greeks had worked it all out already?
My late mother in law dated him for 2 years when she was a teenager. He was known to be kind to her. Perhaps with the drug usage, his behaviour changed over time.
Subbed for your recognition of Lemmy's divinity. Rock on!
I love that you include your research to support your commentary. It protects your channel of personal opinion. You stir the viewers mind.
Love your perspectives as always!! You are NOT a narcissist by virtue of how much you give back in your art.
Ahhh…the narcissist. As a musician, I have dealt with this quite a bit!!! (People saying I am narcissistic.)
Basically, I’m just a person who happens to EXPRESS myself through music!
Well said, my friend!!!
EGO is not NCS!
Most folks cannot detect a core ncs. only the blatant.
They are so borderline psychopaths.
“Front-man syndrome” or “diva behaviour” isn’t the same thing as narcissism. Psychiatrists & the wider world need a different word for the hurtful-to-everyone clinical sort of narcissism.
You are very entertaining, Mary! Your level of self-awareness and enthusiasm for the art & craft of music & for exploring issues like this (rather than taking offense) is NOT narcissicistic, it's honest, confident, & the essence of a creative personality. That's what I see.
The incidence of diagnosable narcissism is way lower than people think it is. People just like throwing that word around without knowing what it really is, how it’s diagnosed, etc.
Your "narcissism" had been a wonder gift, considering how much so many of us have had our lives enriched by your content. Thank you!
ok, ok...
Except, she's not a narcissist. Not even in the least.
Ms. Spender, keep up the excellent, brilliant, and meticulous work, and if someone doesn't like what you say or present, they can go through the blood, sweat, and tears process of lighting, scripting, filming, editing, and uploading a video response explaining and justifying their point of view about you.
I just think you are really damn great and have worked your posterior off to achieve the success you have enjoyed thus far. Namaste. 🙏 And may you have many more years of success and accolades.
Oh I'd sign my name under your post if I could! Brilliantly said. 👍
The Lemmy Airheads reference tells me that, even if you are a narcissist, you are still awesome! As others have said, self-reflection like this suggests you are not afflicted with this malady. You are a performer, trying to grow your brand. If you are good to others, don't worry about it.
As always, Mary, you're an island of sanity in a sea of chaos.
There’s no way narcissism plays any part of who you are Mary, you’re a musician and share yourself openly. ☮️
You are not a narcissist but rather a creative realist and appear to be warm & likeable.
There’s a difference between narcissism and confidence.
Mary, I love how you take a comment like that and examine it. It's so much more effective than getting angry at someone trying to troll you. Thank you for the continued great content.
Oh dear. I get a handful of viewers who call me out as a narcissist, too. It is so lazy when someone says that. Of course, one has to be theatrical and "on" like an actor when making and presenting videos on UA-cam. Thanks for this!
It is indeed lazy, and I suspect, often a form of projection. Additionally, it seems to me that a heck of a lot of frequent posters on internet forums and social media are addicted to a feeling of moral superiority over others. It's like they sleep better at night if they've managed to accuse strangers of being some form of -ist. Or, am I too projecting right now! Maybe, but for all my other faults, lazily accusing others of character defects without knowing that person is something I do avoid doing.
Wow! I've been a stage performer for 58 years and this gives me a lot to think about. Thank you Mary.
I, for one, am SO relieved that Mary's narcissism has been dragged into the spotlight. 🤣🤣🤣
Je suis toujours surpris par la profondeur des discussions que je retrouve dans tes vidéos Mary. Il est évident que tu prends le temps de lire sur le sujet et de rassembler tes idées en un texte cohérent afin d'enregistrer une "bonne" vidéo.
Merci beaucoup Mary. J'adore ce que tu fais. C'est-à-dire ta musique, tes collaborations, et - bien sûr - les vidéos comme celui-ci où tu abordes un sujet précis.
En passant, j'adore ta voix posée et si douce 😊
Hey Duolingo might be working Bernard, I also love Mary's work. I get the feeling Mary's creative is a bit fueled by her passion of research. A dual-brain thinker! (Not from a need to portray a god like image)
To speak to the trends in music, lyrics are the only part of a song that can actually illustrate ideas. Topics that are more sentimental to the individual allow for the listener to identify with their work. Really good artists have an ability to allow for different kinds of people to identify with their work. Way to go! Allons-zi!
Entièrement d'accord avec tes propos. Et elle a assurément une sexy voice 😎
Love the 3 piece band 😊It's not narcissistic at all. Thanks for all the great content.
3 Mary's! I laughed. It was an awesome production :)
Amidst all the craziness in life today, I sincerely enjoy your ability to educate us with your journey and all of the aspects of it, good and bad.If you ever tire of the music business as your one true love of life, you can certainly continue to share your research and stories as a wonderful lecturer.
I’m blown away by how well you whipped this guy’s arse with his own comment, and taught us all some things at the same time. 🏆
I love the way you took this person’s crass attempt to crush you and spun it into a positive. Very classy. I wish I was that gracious.
Hey Mary - you are definitely not a narcissist. I’m not a licensed psychiatrist or psychotherapist but I believe since you care about us, your loyal audience, and aim to provide smart, thoughtful and really intelligent content you are definitely not staring at yourself in the water but looking at us. What we aren’t doing well as a community or a society is helping people appreciate themselves for their talents. And hey, if there are Bonos in this world, they always get balanced by an Edge. One bone to pick Ms. Mary - you coming to Canada someday? Keep up the awesomeness Mary!
Thanks Mary! Art is just feeding the need to express yourself with more than words. All artists are insecure and fragile to criticism because of the vulnerable nature of a truthful performance. Musical performance is one of the fastest ways I know to get it out and feel instant gratification. Courage in Art is part of the creative process. I always believed the little Greek boy fell in the water and drowned himself…
It’s just quicker and easier to do it yourself than to recruit and teach someone else.
Narcissisms is very rare and hard to diagnose. We all deserve and need a measure of attention.
Judging someone as being narcissistic is done so from a moral "high ground". Rather narcissistic in itself, in my opinion. Keep doing what you're doing and leave the judging to the narcissists
Not always. Some people have studied these disorders, academically, for so many years that they not only can spot a narcissist they can tell you which type of narcissistic coping strategy someone is using, and when their behavior and statements show they're in narcissistic collapse or circling the drain.
For example, saying Donald Trump and Kanye are narcissists is not only accurate, it's fairly well-known publicly. Saying that Taylor Swift admits she's a covert narcissist in her song lyrics is not a statement from any moral high ground, it's a fact. She states this in her lyrics.
Considering that narcissistic personality disorder is a characterological disorder aka character disorder (as in MORAL character), you don't have to head to high ground to be automatically morally superior to them because they're not far from morally bankrupt. Again, stating facts...not claiming superiority. It's a spectrum disorder so you'll notice that some are more overt and brag about their moral bankruptcy while others are more covert in trying to hide it (like Swift has for over a decade, until stating it and her overinflated ticket prices reflecting how special she truly thinks she is). The most frightening ones are the ones who are more closeted because you never see them coming until it's too late. A Trump, Kanye, Hitler, or Hussein let you know how unique they perceive themselves to be, and how above the law.
You don't have to use discernment to assess people's character, but I prefer to avoid narcissists like the plague, so I will continue to assess people's moral character and behavior for signs so I can avoid them.
@@le_th_ Something tells me the person who called her a narcissist wasn't one of those people. I think someone that educated would address the topic more tactfully.
I agree and most musicians are empaths like myself. We take our pain from a narcissistic world and make something beautiful out of it. I was married to a Borderline which is very close to a narcissist.
@@mauer62 virtual fistbump to you, my friend, it only gets better
No, narcissism is a manifestation of traits and behaviors that can be objectively identified and cataloged.
Narcissism's manifestation is a coping mechanism to deal with deep seated insecurities.
The thing about narcissists is that they often self sabotage because although they may attempt to display overconfidence and self importance on the surface, deep down they don't believe it. Eventually that deep insecurity destroys their interpersonal relationships halting their personal and professional growth.
I luv the Mary Spender Trio ... !!! I hope they appear more often ... Ms. Spender you are not a narcissist.... ! ... You are so creative & so gifted ... It is a Warped mind & a jealous one who would think that .... ❤
Even the term "creatives"; it's capture, warping and taken hostage as THE abbreviated single-word term to describe "producers of videos on your social media engine of choice", is a great example of narcissism.
Narcissism is a trendy term of the last few years on social media. As usual with these things most people don’t really understand its meaning. It’s used as just another way of putting someone down and boosting their ego at the same time. The be an effective artist you really do need a considerable self belief and a certain resilience to criticism. Without those characteristics your artistic life will be fraught and torturous. The mean spirited self centred narcissistic types don’t play well with others. We don’t want them on stage with us for one simple reason. When we play together our individual jobs are, at least in part , to help make everyone else look great. That’s how we become bigger than the sum of our parts. Narcissists can’t do that. Wonderful video Mary!
Many speakers and entertainers and teachers and ministers love hearing their own voice. So, join the crowd. Nothing wrong with it. There are some celebrities who are amazingly humble like Henry Winkler and Paula Abdul but enjoying attention is not a crime. Go for it!
Paula abdul was not a person i though would be an example, not that im saying you are wrong , just caught me offguard.
Food for thought. Insightful as always.
Thank you, Mary Spender.😘
I’ve thought the same thing many times ! You love to hear yourself talk !
I was married to someone who ticked every box on the NPD chart, if you were one you believe me you wouldn’t even entertain this notion.
You nailed it Mary, the creative without empathy leads to the unhealthy version of Narcissism. That's not what comes across from you however. You, like myself and many of my colleagues are deeply sensitive to others feelings and its what makes us love to create but fearful of performing sometimes. And yes, we have all had that singer who does it for the attention and treats you like a hired carpenter on his own personal building site. I am loving your channel and admire your confidence, honesty and maturity. Brilliant insights, please do keep creating!
There’s a reason the word narcissistic is part of our vocabulary, because it’s something that almost everyone can relate to. Being self-centered or narcissistic is simply being a human being. We are, by our very nature, inherently tied to our own perspective as individuals. That’s a relic of our evolutionary design for survival. True narcissism is a maladaptive means of coping or an actual neurophysiological manifestation of a malformed brain where the individual actually lacks the part of the brain which allows them to be empathetic and conceptualize the distinction between self and other. They think only of themselves because there is only the self, which makes everyone else simply an extension of them. Seeking attention or being self-focused does NOT make you a narcissist.
Not to inflate your ego and potentially feed your “narcissism” but I could genuinely watch/listen to you talk for hours at a time, your voice is so soothing and your eyes are gorgeous! 😅
Definitely don't think you are a narcissist Mary. I find you quite modest in your videos.
I work with those suffering from NPD. Trust me, you're not a narcissist.
But, there are persons that even if they don't suffer from NPD, they still have _narcissistic tendencies._ Perhaps you should know that.
@@pangeaproxima3681 Kind of arrogant of you to be so critical and snobbish. So you an expert? Credentials?
Talent can make a lesser viewer see arrogance or narcissism. Mary is just talented. Highly talented people are always on the edge as viewed from below.
Never! The whole point of the internet is: "I have something I'd like to share with you." I guess you share your lovely music with us, and it makes some people feel left out.
I know a bit about this topic :) Calling specific others "narcissists" is a classic form of... projection. Unless one is a psychologist, we're not qualified to diagnose others. At best we could say "this person has many characteristics of narcissists". But making videos and having fun requires some courage to put ourselves out there - and few real narcissists have the talent to actually do anything.
Yep, fully agreed. Another driver in such behaviour could be a pathological need to feel morally superior to others. Deep down we all probably would like to think we're the ones with superior character, but a healthy dose of humility should remind us that it's probably not true.
I knew a musician friend for like 4 years and 3 years in I realized he was most likely a narcissist. (He's 57-58) I never said it to his face, but I brought it up with people we hung around. I didn't say he was one, but I feel like he was/is one.
He busked to make a living and coach surfed, pretty much a bum. He was very manipulative, social, and he hung around younger people (15-25) majority of the time, including me. I could see he was taking advantage of people through their generosity (even me), but if they ended up having a problem with him he'd turn around and get mad and talk crap about them. I felt he turned a lot of local musicians against me and made stuff up about me because I flirted/messed with a chick he was sorta involved with. (they weren't bf and gf or anything, it wasn't serious.) But I think he felt intimidated or something and decided to socially destroy me through spreading rumors.
There's more to it why I strongly feel he's a narcissist, like his random bouts of anger, jealousy, and "friendly insults." But anyway. He was the first encounter I've had with a narcissistic "friend" and he sorta burned me in my home town. I'm a huge introvert and he's extroverted so he was running his mouth off everywhere we went and played and stuff behind my back and acted all friendly when I was around.
If you read this thanks. There's no meaning behind it
I love your trios, btw. More, please.
A very wise man who is an acquaintance of man is very fond of saying "Other people's opinions of you are none of your business."
In general, I'd agree. Although, if my friends and family tended to have similar negative opinions, perhaps I'd be inclined to make it my business. After all, none of us are perfect, so we all have room for improvement.
Benjamin Franklin saw a need for personal improvement, and had a list of virtues that he would cycle through; he'd focus on one for a time, then move to the next. He also graded himself on each virtue, every night.
SO glad you can take such comments with a grain of salt. People will always try to get your attentionby tearing you down . By responding to this jerk you'll probably NEVER get rid of him now. I like your content, keep up the great work.
Mary Spender a narcissist? No way! Self-absorbed? Not even! Doggedly determined at pursuing her dreams and sharing what she's learned on the way? Absolutely! Mary, the way you share the ups, downs, successes and failures in your endeavors make you authentic. That's the most opposite to narcissism that I can think of.
True narcissists don't question their narcissism. Thank you for being a slice of rational sanity in the world of UA-cam chaos. Hope to see you performing in the Seattle area someday.
You had me at "Lemmy IS God!"
And another quote from Lemmy "Kayne? Never heard of her"
Yes, it seems clear that some amount of self-confidence and wanting to be seen is necessary to be a performer (musician, actor, comedian, etc.). We are glad you discussed this in an empathetic way.
As you described the traits of narcissism I couldn't help but recall one particular embarassment that went on for 4 years.
Anyone who calls you a narcissist probably is one, and speaks out of jealousy. Keep up the good work you do, Mary.
I don’t doubt there are undoubtedly countless people, particularly on UA-cam, who are just purely narcissists but for the most part it is confidence, and that’s in no way a bad thing
There is a danger of falling into narcissistic patterns inherent in the “content creator” realm. I suspect that creative persons are often also perfectionists. Wanting, indeed needing, to do their very best at every turn. Perfectionism can often be misread as narcissism. Beyond that, you are primarily a solo performer and a songwriter. The source of your creative energy is inherently personal - your experiences, your challenges, your triumphs. It’s natural that your work originates there. How your perspectives and your art might apply to others, give them perspectives they cannot otherwise find, and bring them joy, is a both a challenge and a profound gift. Thank you…
Alanis Morissette is God. Re: Dogma (1999) 😃
👉😉👍
if anyone were to refer to you as narcissistic, I would immediately wonder what kind of weird issues they have going on.
Narcissism is always second fiddle to empathy because nobody cares what you know unless they see how much you care. Being an empath is painful. I sometimes wish I could shut it down completely, but I'm glad I can't because the alternative is worse
My wife and her sisters have been dealing with their mothers NPD for years. And when it’s that bad, it can really ruin the lives of those around you.. in no way are you a narcissist Mary! Many people can display the occasional narcissistic traits but NPD/clinical narcissisms is next level.
As you pointed out Mary, there is a fine line that separates narcissists from non-narcissists, if you study the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) every single person on the planet, evidences traits from within each and every diagnosis, the difference though, is that most people considered "sane", don't fully meet all criteria required within the specified framework for that disorder, for those that 100% meet those criteria, a diagnosis can then be applied.
Although as a creative you may have more narcissistic markers than a non-creative, you certainly don't come close to meeting all the criteria for the diagnosis thereof.
Love your work Lovely lady!
3:00 _"and cause etc"_
If a shrink wants to stamp someone like that, he only needs to make sure it becomes maladaptive, he only needs to get people punishing it, and can then declare that the persons "narcissistic traits" are what causes his social suffering.
I worked in mental health for many years and knew several full blown narcissists and many others with strong traits. Having watched many of your videos over the last few years l am pretty confident in saying 'nope not a narcissist, a very driven, slightly obessed muso yes, narcissist no.'
One of the most humble musicians on the internet being called a narcissist just goes to show how unhinged people can be when throwing that particular accusation around.
A real Narcissist would expect praise from little to no effort. Mary promotes her work, as all musicans do... next!
Your self awareness knows no bounds...
Mary Spender! I was going to write a long letter, but I think I’ll only tell you how much I appreciate your personality and video contributions! I am a stage actor and know a lot about the subject of narcissism, and your personality is very far from the bad aspects of a narcissistic personality. But talented as few! Keep it up, and don’t forget Eckhardt Tolle, as I recommended to you a long time ago.❤
we love who you are and never stop just being you Mary ❤
Its not a question of being or not being a narcissist. It’s a question of where you are on a spectrum of narcissistic traits and whether that assemblage of traits is causing you problems in your life.
as far as im concerned narcissism or vanity is a virtue
As musicians, we all have a small bit of narcissism. The realm of "please notice me, I'm playing music on stage" is often combated by the musician's favorite pastime: CRIPPLING SELF-DOUBT.
As a musician/sound-tech who has worked with a lot of blues greats over the last decade, from Grammy/Juno/Maple Blues award winners I'd say your in good company. You are not a narcissist. Just a working musician just trying to put out some good music and sticking to the roots.
No Mary, you are not a narcissist. You show both a healthy elation of success and humility when analyzing your work. Keep on keepin' on!
“The dogs may bark, but the caravan will pass”. Onward Mary Spencer, Onward!
Narcissism is so last year. Entitled is the new narcissism.
There is an important difference between healthy narcissism, and a healthy sense of self with pathological narcissism. It’s a distinction worth noting.
This is, without a doubt, the most apropos video response to a detached social media comment. Yours is a powerful, healthy perspective. Bravo, Mary.
Everybody has an ego and can therefore slide into narcissism on occasion. In those *small measured doses,* on occasion, narcissistic tendencies can spur creativity and innovation, but full blown narcissism is insidiously destructive and harmful. I deal with a text-book-definition narcissist at my job every day, and it's nothing but a mental drain on everyone who has to navigate around the narcissist's ego. While I suspect that people who embody narcissism fully and completely are in a different category of narcissism than what you describe, I applaud you for finding something positive in narcissism. I didn't see that coming.
I love your trio videos. If that fellow thinks you are a narcissist, he hasn't been following you. I find your humility refreshing, Mary.
Everyone has narcissistic traits, that is totally normal. The question is whether this is in a problematic amount as you describe… I really enjoyed this as you somehow managed to make the topic more interesting than the usual stuff I find to that topic.
Mary, the commenter was not concerned about whether or not you are a narcissist, but of mitigating their own jealously. You owe no one an explanation for your own creative journey, and I would not validate someone's pettiness.
I appreciate you taking it in stride an exploring the topic, but I would avoid feeding the trolls.
A cornerstone of narcissism is self righteousness. They don’t make mistakes because it’s always other people or circumstances when things go wrong. Learning from your mistakes is crucial if you want to achieve excellence in any endeavour.
The Internet didn’t create A$$ holes, it just allowed them a Worldwide platform. We love you Mary, keep up your great work.
Off topic, but something I noticed and what bothered me a lot with people speaking in videos is how many cuts there are. a ton of channels that have to cut literally every single sentence for the whole thing to make any sense. Very nice to see Mary has that speaking skill, makes listening so enjoyable for me :-p
Narcissism is often a label people use, but when you look deeper, it is not an easy concept to understand. I think some of it means seeing yourself when seeing other people. When writing music, recording, practicing, you need to ignore that inner voice that sometimes comes up, that wants to critic you so hard, or wants to praise you like crazy. At the end of the day, music is about getting connected to your inner self, the true self. So I believe narcissism is rather standing in the way of contributing something good.
Robert Fripp is another example of someone who does tour but essentially hides from the audience. I saw him live with David Sylvian at the Royal Albert Hall, or I should say I heard him live, I didn't actually see him at all! It makes his marriage to Toyah Wilcox even more incredible than it already is, given her presentation of her character to the audience.
Mary, your videos always bring me joy, thank you for your inspiring content
That’s it! I’m changing all my “I” lyrics to “we.” Thank you. I really love… uh we really love your creative spirit and intellect.
And with all those we and us in the lyrics your schizophrenia really shows...
Multiple personalities helps us make more well rounded decisions.
Mary, narcissism is very different than being comfortable with playing live. The narcissist is, in their own mind, faultless and they are so self-important that they think that they are the best and the smartest. Dr. Les Carter has UA-cam videos about narcissism that make it clear that a narcissist's mindset is very different than the rest of us. Your album arrived over the weekend and I look forward to listening to it! God bless, Mary!
I have watched your channel for years ! Your humble , and talented and very appreciated! Your definitely in touch with your inner creativity, and understanding and coveying your work!
i do wonder how “i will make a video with characters that are played by myself because it’s cheaper and easier and artists have always struggled to afford the vision they have for their work” gets construed as “im a raging narcissist and this will only be better if i am all these characters are me”, like the latter is an easier leap?
ignore the haters, i really enjoy the way you present yourself, and those band videos are always cute and funny. good luck on your tour!
Being a musician, vocalist and lyricist, everything we put out there is open to interpretation and personal taste. Not everyone is going to like what we put out there. But to call someone off the cuff a narcissist, without knowing them personally sounds like jealousy and the trait of a narcissist. If you don't toot your own horn then the world will miss out on a possible magnificent performer. And you may just inspire someone else to greatness, and not even necessarily in the field of music. Let the trolls eat themselves alive with their self hate and negativity. Live your passion and your calling. Never mind what the haters say.Peace and Live Mary. YOU ARE DOING GREAT!
Peace and Love that is.
we're all narcissistic to some level, it is our self-awareness that keeps us from losing our selves in our reflections.
That was a smooth transition to your tour promotion! Very well done.
I’m too self-deprecating to be narcissistic. And I suck at creating art so I think there’s a correlation! 😅
I have known a few narcissists, and I can tell you with absolute confidence that you are not one of those. So relax and enjoy your music and career.
I like your thoughtful approach to this topic and that you present the information in an easy to follow way.
One thing I disagree with is how you link a charismatic presentation to "faking it till you make it".
The fact that enthusiasm helps spreading ideas doesn't mean it has to be fake enthusiasm.
I think the alternative to faking enthusiasm is genuinely building it up (if you don't have it already). Like a preacher reminding himself of the amazing truth he's going to deliver and how it can affect people positively - instead of just pretending to be enthusiastic about his message.