Wedding Guest Etiquette - DO's & DON'Ts of Behavior & Manners at Weddings

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  • Опубліковано 5 сер 2024
  • Check out our written Wedding Etiquette DO's & DON'Ts guide, here:
    gentl.mn/wedding-guest-etiquette
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    00:52 Do RSVP in a timely manner. The wedding couple and the entire team has spent a lot of time, money, and effort to plan this whole event and they want to know as soon as possible who they can expect at their event.
    01:28 Don't ask to add guests to an invitation. If the invitation says plus one, you can bring another person, not three others. If it says plus family, it means you can bring your family.
    02:10 Do respect the dress code. If the invitation has a dress code, follow it. Popular dress codes for weddings include cocktail attire, black tie or black tie optional. If the invitation does not state a dress code, you should definitely ask the wedding couple.
    02:46 Do buy a gift from the registry or give them cash. Nobody's interested in your self-knitted blankets, your old vases, or your hand me down glasses.
    04:18 Do go with the flow. Chances are the bride and groom made lots of plans and this is the time for you to relax, just sit back, enjoy and go with the flow.
    04:34 Don't be greedy at an open bar. In most cultures, if you're invited to a wedding, that means you're not expected to pay for anything and everything is included. In the US, however, it's not uncommon to have a cash bar where guests are expected to pay for alcoholic beverages.
    05:09 Do drink in moderation. It's great to have a drink and relax and be jolly but it's not okay to have eight drinks and be totally drunk and pass out and maybe puke into the corner.
    05:38 Don't encourage over consumption of others. That means, don't buy shots, not for the groom, or anybody else, and this is not a frat party, this is a wedding.
    05:52 Do leave the drama at home. This is not the time to rehash old stories or disputes.
    06:04 Don't embarrass the wedding couple by trying to be the center of attention. That means as a woman, do not wear a white dress, that's reserved for the bride. Same as the men, don't wear shiny dinner jackets, or big boutonnieres, or top hats as the guest because that's not about you, it's about them.
    06:24 Don't arrive late or leave the event early. If you have major other conflicts with your schedule and you can't make it work, simply don't attend.
    06:44 Do say goodbye to the bride and groom in person. It is their day and yes, they don't have time to spend an hour and talking to all their guests.
    07:22 Do plan a safe ride home if you had a few drinks. Do not drive yourself.
    #wedding #weddingetiquette #notsponsored
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 86

  • @RoyalDBush
    @RoyalDBush 6 років тому +98

    As an officiant who has officiated over 1,000 ceremonies, I can share that Raphael's words are spot on! I want to loose my mind when guests arrive 5-10-15 minutes late for a wedding, when they won't stop taking photos with their cell phones, or when they forget that they were invited to be guests, not to critique, or be a planner. It is about having some decorum. Well said!

  • @zolantal
    @zolantal 7 років тому +50

    I've just been invited to a wedding, this series couldn't have come at a better time!

  • @n.k.6801
    @n.k.6801 6 років тому +72

    In Greece, where I live, weddings are wayyy more relaxed than ones in America or the rest of Europe. We never have a dress code (most people wear just jeans and a dress shirt), there is no chance that children are not welcome (in fact everyone tends to have a lot of fun with them), there is no bar or open bar, and it is much more disrespectful not to attend a wedding than to leave early. And there is no rsvp either. You just contact the host but only if you will not be able to attend.
    That's not hating in any way, I'm just highlighting some cultural differences! I love this series!

    • @heinzguderianbutmoreyounge9659
      @heinzguderianbutmoreyounge9659 3 роки тому +2

      Yes,in my provinces,people just send an envelope with an invitation,nobody in here even know what is rsvp,people just wear jeans,dress shirt,more old/elderly people use some batik dress shirt and an black trousers,you can wear a suit,it was even wayyy to flashy,only the grooms,and kids always come,even there are people who invite his whole village/neighborhood.

    • @heinzguderianbutmoreyounge9659
      @heinzguderianbutmoreyounge9659 3 роки тому +2

      And money,its never an insult even you give an 5 dollar,100 dollars is way to much,100 dollar is big,you even can instalment an motorcycle

    • @joelsletten3386
      @joelsletten3386 3 роки тому

      Here in norway it isnt as formal but more "classy"

    • @purplegypsylady777
      @purplegypsylady777 2 роки тому +2

      Omg that sounds great and so much more normal. I hate the idea of weddings here in North America. Very bougee and uptight.. takes away the enjoyment

  • @Rabshyne
    @Rabshyne 7 років тому +44

    The people hating on series dont understand that Gentlemen chooses to be well rounded in all all situations. A little etiquette goes a long way.

  • @danieltiborhajzer3952
    @danieltiborhajzer3952 7 років тому +101

    I don't really get the hate for this series. I think it provides a lot of useful information for everyone and I mean a bit of manners never hurt anyone. I think Raphael did a great job as always.

  • @ofsabir
    @ofsabir 3 роки тому +18

    In Turkish culture, it is expected to give some amount of gold to the married couple. It varies from 1gram to 40gram.
    And the amount is determined by your wealth and how close is your friendship with either party.

    • @carmelpereira6003
      @carmelpereira6003 3 роки тому +1

      Very true. In my culture, gold is typically gifted to the bride but grooms do receive gold. But cash is the most common gift. The closer you are to the couple the greater the amount you give.

  • @svensvensson3320
    @svensvensson3320 7 років тому +39

    Video should be called "A video about common sense"

    • @gentlemansgazette
      @gentlemansgazette  7 років тому +12

      Lol, I wish that could have been the title but in my experience that is absolutely not the case.

  • @Justmarryweddings
    @Justmarryweddings 6 років тому +8

    This is a great video. You touched on many things that we see wedding guests take for granted. I especially love your RSVP comments and your “leave the drama at home” statement.

  • @michaelsuppa4675
    @michaelsuppa4675 7 років тому +5

    This is a fantastic video. So practical and doesn't cost anything to know these simple rules. I'm certain you've made an impact with this video by saving a couple or two the headaches arising with these "don'ts".

  • @eulaliagrzybkowska8178
    @eulaliagrzybkowska8178 6 років тому +9

    About the gifts... My cousin and her fiance asked for lottery coupons instead of flowers. I think it's a smart idea because imagine getting over 100 flower bouquets at your wedding...

  • @Tracks777
    @Tracks777 7 років тому +14

    Fantastic video! Keep it up!

  • @racheldemain1940
    @racheldemain1940 2 роки тому +6

    The not bringing Children is a really difficult one. I personally would not want Children at My Wedding as i would be distracted and stressed by what they might or might not do. i have seen as a Verger, so many parents missing most of the Service because they have had to take a Child out who is bored and frustrated and been up for ages and still got a long day ahead. I feel for them so it would be no children just so the Parents could unwind and have a day to themselves.

  • @60Macushla
    @60Macushla 6 років тому +7

    This guy is on point!! 👍 Listen up men!!

  • @ragnar6822
    @ragnar6822 7 років тому +15

    I'm from Spain and you should pay what the couple spend on your plate.

  • @Lassehansen3
    @Lassehansen3 7 років тому +5

    Great video Rapheal! 👏 can totally relate, we had guest asking to if they could bring x,y,z with them to the party. Not really something we considered polite. 😉

  • @jennahernandez5787
    @jennahernandez5787 3 роки тому +6

    Great video. To be honest, I thought this was common knowledge, but I do understand that not all families are the same/don’t emphasize on traditional rules like this.
    However, I was shocked at the lack of knowledge a handful of our guests showed.. very disappointing for a bride. Luckily, I still got to marry the man of my dreams!

    • @racheldemain1940
      @racheldemain1940 2 роки тому +2

      That's the most important thing. You married your Dream man and Best Friend.

  • @indiartictv4809
    @indiartictv4809 7 років тому +2

    Sehr gutes Video, wie eigentlich alle! Vielen Dank dafür!

  • @sonyfrancois9647
    @sonyfrancois9647 7 років тому +5

    Great video, great info. Thx

  • @julialumina1615
    @julialumina1615 6 років тому +4

    Great video!!

  • @izukumidoriya1766
    @izukumidoriya1766 3 роки тому +2

    Thanks for the advice Daniel Larusso

  • @oxomgitsrachelxo
    @oxomgitsrachelxo 6 років тому +37

    I live in the US and we don’t give $20 a person for a wedding. It is very rare that that happens and if it does it is very rude. I always give at least $100-$150 per person. So when my boyfriend and I go to weddings we give $300 together.

    • @Karen-gh8gv
      @Karen-gh8gv 6 років тому +11

      It's unusual for anyone but family to give cash, at least in my experience. No one with an class should be "insulted" by ANY sincere and kind gift.

    • @mattyp8435
      @mattyp8435 4 роки тому

      Same! Never have I ever given less than $150, $20?? Insult lol

    • @AM-bk2pe
      @AM-bk2pe 3 роки тому +2

      I live in Canada and it’s the same here, and typically we give the price of the plate, which is around $150 per person

    • @SC-dr7gt
      @SC-dr7gt 2 роки тому

      300$ is my comfort zone that's what I usaully give

    • @HaloHamstur
      @HaloHamstur 2 роки тому +3

      You'd be lucky if I even go. I'm not giving them money besides maybe a small gift.

  • @laneslegacy5794
    @laneslegacy5794 2 роки тому

    Thank you!

  • @rubydoobie9717
    @rubydoobie9717 10 місяців тому

    Great video! Can’t believe I almost showed up with a gift! I wouldn’t have even thought about that!

  • @jeffho6794
    @jeffho6794 7 років тому +3

    Where can I find the tie you are wearing in this video? It is beautiful but I can't find it in your shop.

  • @Eduard000F
    @Eduard000F 5 років тому +6

    And if you're going to get wasted please do it in the after party😬

  • @emirosem.sc.597
    @emirosem.sc.597 2 роки тому +3

    Honestly I would never ask my guests to go out of their budget; but this is where an investment like a sewing machine comes in handy. I've never seen nor felt more positive reactions when receiving or giving a nicely hand made gift. Especially something small and practical. Also caring for the planet, I prefer something reclaimed, compostable (like a plantable card)! Essential, low paid workers go to weddings too and they often have to take unpaid time off, if they're even allowed time off at all.

  • @Shcreamingreen
    @Shcreamingreen 7 років тому +4

    Ladies and gentlemen, Sven Raphael Schneider advising people not to puke at a wedding :D

  • @JuanGarcia-fi8ud
    @JuanGarcia-fi8ud 6 років тому +4

    Give what you can

  • @mrbojangles8133
    @mrbojangles8133 2 роки тому +1

    besides if you cannot do the whole event due to schedule issue you can always congratulate them later perhaps throw them a party perhaps it's less formal but it shows something

  • @racheldemain1940
    @racheldemain1940 2 роки тому +2

    What if you have a long journey home and aren't staying nearby, when is it decent to make your farewells and departures?

  • @jaykaiser1754
    @jaykaiser1754 2 роки тому +2

    This was a helpful video. For my wedding, I was asked by a wedding guest if they could bring their canine companion to our outdoor wedding. I had never met her, so I declined. After the fact, I finally did meet her, and she was untrained and high energy, which was mostly not her fault due to her age and breed type. I know not all pets are this way, but I do know that all possibilities exist. If your pet is well trained and a good boy or girl, please make sure to mention that or even invite the couple to meet if that could be a possibility. Just know that there is a chance the couple can decline your request, so be sure to respectfully understand that.

  • @DemitriVladMaximov
    @DemitriVladMaximov 5 років тому +6

    I have a question, but not sure where to ask it . My sister is getting married at the end of the month and I am one of the groomsman. I have never met the groom or his family as I live in Montana and she is in Alabama and I don't want to offend anyone. Now my question is can I refuse to participate in the garter toss? I am not only single, but the kind of single that has quit on relationships of the romantic kind entirely and resents weddings and many wedding traditions. I don't dance, go out, and don't want to ruin the wedding bring the mood to a halt because they will tell I would rather not even be there to begin with. So would it be wrong for the sake of everyone's happiness just avoid the situation by polietly declining to get involved?

    • @racheldemain1940
      @racheldemain1940 2 роки тому +2

      If anyone feels they are going to be uncomfortable maybe it is best to politely decline to be involved in the principal group. Say thank you for asking me but i do not wish to be a part of the Bridal Party. I did that. my Sister wanted me to be a Bridesmaid but i politely declined and acted as Usher and was still involved and part of the Wedding.

  • @sannimcable
    @sannimcable 2 роки тому

    OK thanks

  • @DavidLLambertmobile
    @DavidLLambertmobile 5 років тому +8

    I went to a wedding in the mid 1990s. The couple had a "buffet" with picnic foods, subs, snacks. 🙄. The wedding had approx 150 guests, family. I thought it was a bit tacky.

    • @MsAngelique
      @MsAngelique 2 роки тому +9

      Kinda rude to judge the couple. Maybe they just wanted casual food? I plan on having a potluck buffet at my wedding.

  • @Ikari777
    @Ikari777 7 років тому +3

    Hey Sven, I have been enjoying your channel and videos for over a year now and think you have some of the best knowledge and details of all the big style channels! keep up the amazing work sir and if you have the time to look at my new channel, please do! I am ordering several things like lighting, backgrounds, and better mic for camera to make much more professional! I simply needed to start and do something now and get content out lol. Please excuse the amateur nature as I'm learning as I go!

  • @Freakishling
    @Freakishling 7 років тому +4

    Thanks I needed this info for tomorrow!?! I'm nervous?!?

  • @sannimcable
    @sannimcable 2 роки тому

    God bless

  • @frankiewhittom5699
    @frankiewhittom5699 7 років тому +6

    are there colors for "second" marrege?

    • @dannymartin9321
      @dannymartin9321 3 роки тому +4

      No, but the wedding toast should start with, "Welcome back, Everybody!"

  • @thesurfnate90
    @thesurfnate90 2 роки тому +1

    In the US it IS expected to have an open bar. Not having liquor is acceptable but a cash bar is not.

  • @FeversMcGraw
    @FeversMcGraw 6 років тому +4

    Never been to an Irish wedding then?

  • @v10moped
    @v10moped 5 років тому +4

    An example of women who don't follow the dress code are the skimpy ones waiting to catch the bouquet.

  • @koryaiine7393
    @koryaiine7393 6 років тому +3

    How should one present money as gifts? Regular envelope? Fancy? Only one? Or: Envelope inside another envelope? Thanks>

    • @Justmarryweddings
      @Justmarryweddings 6 років тому +2

      Korya Iine we typically see guests give money to the couple in a nice greeting card.

    • @gmc9753
      @gmc9753 5 років тому

      You should go to a stationary store and spend at least $20 on the envelope to put your gift in! And be sure to write "Do not throw this envelope away" on it!

  • @DavidLLambertmobile
    @DavidLLambertmobile 5 років тому +2

    Good points; about 30-40% of the ettiqute videos content seem like things hes seen or incidents that ticked him off. Lol...

  • @blablub2402
    @blablub2402 5 років тому

    Wow, ich wusste nicht, dass du aus Deutschland bist!

  • @TheRatounet
    @TheRatounet 2 роки тому

    Wedding always q difficult exercice to make sure everyone happy. For my wedding we have hire baby-sitter so parents could enjoy. My only regret is that although there was a hotel 3 minutes away from the venue and that i have negociate a deal and advertise it a lot befkre and also during the day only one couple have book a room there other drive home with a bit of alchool in their blood.... for dress code will good to have a complete video of do and don't....

  • @philipsick5776
    @philipsick5776 Рік тому

    spannende welt, in der ihr lebt

  • @theshadow4393
    @theshadow4393 7 років тому +1

    Moar about 4

  • @philipmeisterl
    @philipmeisterl 7 років тому +2

    Finde die videos cool aber finde nicht dass man nicht kommen soll sondern sagen dass man zu spät kommt zum beispiel zum essen nach der kirche...

  • @oliviaxx9022
    @oliviaxx9022 2 роки тому +1

    please. .... your tie.

  • @Al_Camino77
    @Al_Camino77 2 роки тому +1

    In my experience the best guest is one that isn’t remembered. Usually the only ones people remember are the idiots.

  • @blu_otaku7063
    @blu_otaku7063 Рік тому

    Well i dont have rich friends and nobody wants to lobe me so I'll proabably never use this info. But its still fun to watch at 12am

  • @NoThankUBeQuiet
    @NoThankUBeQuiet 3 роки тому

    No 20 isn't normal it's 50-100 per group

  • @mandeepbaweja3021
    @mandeepbaweja3021 7 років тому +4

    Here in India none of these rules matters ;) bcoz its like disrespect to guests and they might feel bad for something written like no family or no children pls!

  • @MrCooper83
    @MrCooper83 7 років тому +10

    I went to a wedding 3 weeks ago. My job requires to dress sharp which means I have tailored clothes.
    So I went to that wedding and many of the guests looked sloppy, and terribly dressed. I saw adult person wearing a dirty pre tied tie...
    Most of the guys dont even have pocket square and I felt uncomfortable because I was way better dressed than the guests.
    I paid attention to not to overdress the groom and I did not.

  • @Karen-gh8gv
    @Karen-gh8gv 6 років тому +10

    Mostly great suggestions, but the only one I sort of went "WTF?" on was the one about gifts. Gifts, by definition, are never owed, and in the same vein, they are not supposed to be "payment" for their invitation/reception dinner, and that mentality (common, sadly) is tacky. You give what you can and what you like... and a *tasteful, thoughtful* inexpensive gift is never an "insult." A lovely framed photo of the couple would be something special, and costs very little.

  • @meaganwagoner2599
    @meaganwagoner2599 Рік тому

    My uncle is letting kids sorry if this is rude sir

  • @hvucufufufyfyc6319
    @hvucufufufyfyc6319 Рік тому

    £20 is an insult? We’re not all made of money.

  • @Mickyboi1
    @Mickyboi1 7 років тому +9

    I am the drunken guest that ruins the wedding😂

    • @lgustave3679
      @lgustave3679 2 роки тому +2

      This isn't as funny as you think it is

  • @JohnRendNYC
    @JohnRendNYC 3 місяці тому

    This should all be common sense however, there are people today that have ZERO common sense.

  • @Mario-vt2dy
    @Mario-vt2dy 3 роки тому

    nostrils yo

  • @l.blacklock7430
    @l.blacklock7430 7 років тому +5

    Have you done a video dealing with the etiquette FOR the newly married couple rather than the guests? Believe me, these days I encounter far more ridiculous behaviour from the bride and groom than I do from the guests. Yes, it may be THEIR wedding, but it is not an excuse to act boorish and foolish.
    Of the points you raised, I must strongly disagree with the one regarding RSVP. The happy couple really do not care whether you attend or not. What they DO care about is that you provide a gift of substantial value. Once you satisfy their sense of greed and entitlement, the couple does not care if they ever see you again.
    Welcome to 2017 where even the most refined make a conscious effort to be trashy.

    • @racheldemain1940
      @racheldemain1940 2 роки тому

      Oooh i am all agog, what sort of things do they do?.