An asterisk on either side of a group of words denotes action(has done so since before youtube but users have to work around that with a space because of the bold command)
mine consist of a post or comment of mine appears in one of EmKay's videos and Damien saying "you're an idiot chief, what else can I say? You DUMB" and then wheeze laugh, and I die a little inside lol
William B did Damien also not realize that the soldier from the First World War, born in the 1890’s, would, in fact, NOT have seen the days when that other gentleman was a Confederate Courier? Lol
Yeah, I mean...in the early 1900s the average lifespan was 40 years. Not to mention, 1 out of every 9 died before age 10. I’m amazed too. I praise that man.
Any Ratac Or, as I call it, island pretending to be big to hide how small it is, just like the local asswipe down the pub trying to act all tough to make up for his tiny penis.
@@stuartthehuman5280 I was trying to compare the country's history of taking over far larger countries and then "bragging" (claiming it's for civilisation) about it to the guy at every pub who tries to hide that he is insecure about the size of his penis by bragging about sleeping with a lot people. (Usually women)
Not really stupid but in an _pre AP 9th grade reading class_ asked what Hitler’s last name was and when the teacher responded with ‘Hitler’ and the kid processed it a second and said ‘HIS NAME IS HITLER HITLER???’
And this is why I don't want to tell my chef parents that I think I'm non-binary. They could hide whatever poison they want and I wouldn't know until I died. 😊👍
02:32 I imagine that guy had a bunch of friends named Alex and his phone contact looked like this : - alex (the blond one) - alex (the brunette) - alex (the ginger) - alex (the brown one) - alex (the asian) - alex (the girl) - etc.
5:15 “why can’t you enjoy it in the privacy of your own home” …trains go on tracks. Train tracks do not go through houses. Also, it isn’t concerning her what he does and where. He can take photos wherever he wants to and she can stop complaining about nothing
@teabag actually I wasn’t trying to copy him, I just wanted to be like him, I wanted to be “sonic is disappointed in your real decisions” but I saw that name was taken
Mint Mochi And concidering polling day is tomorrow and most of the younger generation cannot be assed to vote, even though they support labour (the only one that isn't Tory lite) we're gonna get five more years of BJ and poor people being murdered by the system. Oh and no more NHS, so we are all fucked in the end.
@@sunrisesyndicate8650 I think young people will vote, hopefully (except I thought it was on Friday lol whoops) but yeah I've pretty much accepted Torys will win this one :( again. I was scared about voting because I don't know everything about politics, but most older people know shit. Torys are basically aiming for a dictatorship, I doubt anyone voting for them realized or wants that...
@@JaelinBezel even if this is about England, America are in the shit as well ahah. I'll prey (metaphorically. Atheist.) for you guys too. It's a similar situation really.
4:11 i think you are confused here, the showerthoughts if the cause of the face palm, ze_pig777 was pointing out the fact that even if people loose weight that weight(the mass) is not out of the planet, all the mass that goes out of their bodies ends up in the planet, so the earth wouldn't be any lighter. i get the impresion that you think that the earth would be lighter if people loose weight.
Wise words of my mother, “People who bring you food are the best kind of people” and “be nice to the people bringing you food, because they’re bringing you your food”.
There's two people you should never be jerks to: Those who handle your food, and those who work as your transportation. One spits in your food, the other drops you off on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere.
My mom is gay, my uncle is gay, but yet I'm a female dating a male that dare I say I'm attracted to. So exactly... What "social conditioning" did I miss?
My Science teacher had put on the board "Charles Darwin's 209th Birthday" A girl in my class a couple years back then asked "Who's Charles Darwin"? My teacher had answered "The guy who made the theory of evolution." Then she said "HES STILL ALIVE!?" And my teacher proceeded to be dissapointed.
0:27 it isnt wild spread info but apparently that guy has a small radiator that isn't normally on and double as a nightstand. He apparently went to take a shower at this nice early december, decided to on the radiator WHILE forgetting the switch lite is on the radiator (Want it to be nice and warm when he come out of the shower). it only took TEN minutes (his words "small radiator heat up fast") then it looks like that. So yea, knowing that i DO feel bad for him lmao...
1:41 did anyone else realized that he damen or who ever just mix up the second date when he lived Edit i am the stupid one i did not see the 9 thought it was an 8, i am blind
Ok, missing some context, but I THINK that whoever put the poster up was trying to say Schiff never followed the rules, but by putting "0 days since Schiff last followed the rules", they were literally just saying "Schiff followed the rules today".
12:13 the sign translates to "unexpected turn"
That turn sure was unexpected but I dont think it was the right one
thank you for your contributions polyglot
Čau
Some fellow latvians i see emkay btw that sign is in latvian lmao
It was the left one
1:21 his grammar was actually good I literally don't see the problem with ig
When Damien wheezes:
* happiness noise *
When Damien does this „ahaha“ thing:
* confused screaming *
* pops collar * * rubs hands together * ,,ahaha"
Bruh it’s the fuckboi laugh
Nope No if you want your words to be bold,put the word next to the floating dot
An asterisk on either side of a group of words denotes action(has done so since before youtube but users have to work around that with a space because of the bold command)
Nope No ah ha ha
Girl in my class asked our professor if other countries have moons too?
I think she meant the flags
How did she make it this far in life? 😂
In my country, our moon is yellow and emits bright light that makes the sky blue all the time :)
This is a lie btw.
Shes not only wrong, shes stupid.
“What pride flag is that?”
*”the word is Germany”*
Pastel.Peaches 0110
Das ist gut, Hans!
Nein Fritz
Im not German but...
ICH WIEL EIN SCHNITZEL
Not my proudest moment
@@mickytherat8020 That was you?
"Men ain't crap"
Then why do you want five of them??
Because they are not crap
Men ain’t crap
Imagine where she puts stuff she does value 😳
@@Soph149 up her plastic ass
*SIMP*
Charlotte Thomson you’re the most random person I’ve ever seen. What the hell does the word “Simp” have to do with anything about this?
Oprah Winfrey: Who are you?
Channing Tatum: I'm not you
Crystal Clear Jelly
Fam he JUST has to put on a dress and BOOM, Oprah Winfrey!
"Because trains don't run through my home."
THOMAS: "Challenge accepted."
Bruh you deserve a veteran discount for that meme
Thomas actually has run through at least 1 home. :P
@@Technomancer666 *that was the inspirataion for my comment*
Charlie Young Ahh. Gotcha.
@@Its_Charlie_Young Mmm, dry wall and eggs
My nightmares consist of damien calling me disappointing in his condescending voice
Mine is pewds telling me i have a small pp
we all seek damien's validation
mine consist of a post or comment of mine appears in one of EmKay's videos and Damien saying "you're an idiot chief, what else can I say? You DUMB" and then wheeze laugh, and I die a little inside lol
Wow, you're insulted by a newyorkian that's sad
Statitistically vaccinated children do have a higher diagnosis rate for autism, for the simple fact that they LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO GET DIAGNOSED.
Yup
They had us in the first half, not gonna lie
You have a point.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmnommmmmmmmmmmmm
I’m more impressed that confederate courier lived to almost be 100
William B it’s the fallout new vegas courier damn
William B did Damien also not realize that the soldier from the First World War, born in the 1890’s, would, in fact, NOT have seen the days when that other gentleman was a Confederate Courier? Lol
Yeah, I mean...in the early 1900s the average lifespan was 40 years. Not to mention, 1 out of every 9 died before age 10. I’m amazed too. I praise that man.
@@savagenovelist2983 i appreciate that you knew about this
Especially back then, it was much harder to live to that age
*day 3 of waiting for Damien to say “my namien is Damien” on this channel*
Bangtan_With_Luv :3 it’s day 3 actually
The Redstone Horse frick i forgot about those other days
Let's carry this comment to the top
if he says it hes big gay
Or "my dame is namien"
"but I'm sure trains run through you"
*ThOmAs HaS nEvEr ExPiErIeNcEd ThIs HoLe BeFoRe*
It was time for Thomas to leave, he had seen everything
@@lailaauto33 but Thomas came back because he was still curious
Thomas fucking exploded. The end.
This is a beautiful story, this comment and the replies
@@calebh6244 very curious.
My friend: *tells unfunny joke*
Me: damien laugh
the transformation is working 🙂🙂🙂
you are Becoming EmKay 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂
🙂🙂🙂🙂
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Even better if you just say "damien laugh" and don't actually laugh.
11:09
“Area”
We call it the UK, Damien.
Any Ratac
Or, as I call it, island pretending to be big to hide how small it is, just like the local asswipe down the pub trying to act all tough to make up for his tiny penis.
TheTreeGroup I don’t think the uk is pretending to have more landmass than it has lmao
@@stuartthehuman5280
I was trying to compare the country's history of taking over far larger countries and then "bragging" (claiming it's for civilisation) about it to the guy at every pub who tries to hide that he is insecure about the size of his penis by bragging about sleeping with a lot people. (Usually women)
Any Ratac others call it
“Middle East 2: Cross-Continental Jihad”
@@pinkperfectpeach7544
Are you calling me a bus wanker? If so, you gotta try harder to upset me mate.
Woman: (CHEATS)
Everybody: Man deserved it!
Man: (Gets mad at wife for cheating)
Everybody: A R R E S T H I M .
This is why I'm gay
@Sophia Nguyen yeah man everybody say gender equality because of women but they never think about man,they just like "BE A MAN!!"
this is why humans make me mad
I'd rather live with the animals
they don't have homework
Hey man, shame to tell you humans are animals too.
@@TJ-hg6op yeah but I meant like animals other than humans like fish or giraffes
Not really stupid but in an _pre AP 9th grade reading class_ asked what Hitler’s last name was and when the teacher responded with ‘Hitler’ and the kid processed it a second and said ‘HIS NAME IS HITLER HITLER???’
Sotsu
I facepalmed at reading that. That poor kid
i bet he asks what obama's last name is. the absolute degenerate.
Oh god...
How did that bent spork get the 9th grade?
My real Stalin Stalin
Life hack: Never piss off the people that handle your food
Dont bite the hand that feeds you ;)
Jiska Baak correct
And this is why I don't want to tell my chef parents that I think I'm non-binary. They could hide whatever poison they want and I wouldn't know until I died. 😊👍
02:32 I imagine that guy had a bunch of friends named Alex and his phone contact looked like this :
- alex (the blond one)
- alex (the brunette)
- alex (the ginger)
- alex (the brown one)
- alex (the asian)
- alex (the girl)
- etc.
Alex (the dead one)
Alex the gay one
Alex the trans one
Alex the train-gender one
alex(that one guy in the back)
damien: “and you’re a helicopter parent”
me: *thinking about my dad flying like a helicopter*
Same
Does he go swa swa swa?
One time my dad went "Imma goin to get milk, IM A HELICOPTER" and he spun around and he flew to space.
soisoisoisoisoisoisoi
s h o o s h o o s h o o s h o o s h o o
10:16 never thought i’d have to say this but
SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST STRAIGHT VANESSA
Which one?
My school friend vanessa
ThE fUnI rUlE 34 fnaf vanessa
Theres many vanessas
Next article:
Top 22 celebrities that look nothing like animals
@A user of the internets Or Benedict Cucumberbath.
*22 celebrities that don't look like each other*
Here's 11 celebrities
1) Cher and Mr ED.
Top 22 celebrities that look nothing like reptiles
1. Mark zuckerberg
Please
Stop
Hes not a reptile i swear hes not a reptile please
They are animals though...
*insert intense Vsauce music*
@@felixroux this is deep!
That plenty of fish one ruined my day. It’s so sad, I feel so bad for her innocent naive self
Im not a native english speaker. What does that mean?
I think it’s a dating app if I’m not wrong
Its probably fake,so dont worry.
yeah its depressing
The Postmates person literally had no control over how fast the restaurant moved. Smh
Right, that belongs in one of the entitled subreddits
damien: *reads a post without laughing or making his own comment*
me: impossible
Are-
Are we just gonna ignore that Christine post? Poor girl is so innocent and in love that she doesnt realized her husband is cheating im-
Right?! And she was even trying to help him find more fishing buddies. That shit just hurt.
wait thatS WHAT WAS HAPPENING :
@@CartoonCat.And.SonicTH Yes.
@@CartoonCat.And.SonicTH You poor naive soul. You were nearly as deluded as Christine.
wait what??? he was cheating? :( i thought he just really liked fishing :'/
edit: i checked what ''plenty of fish'' was and i get it now D:
When you can't think of anything to say:
Damien's laugh
Quality comment
@@bruh-vr9cf quality reply to a quality comment
the person with no sense of humor quality reply to a quality reply to a quality comment
@@icejjunie quality reply to a quality reply to a quality reply to a quality comment
@@justwondering6989 quality reply to a quality reply to quality reply quality reply to a quality comment.
Oprah Winfrey: "My name is Jeff"
You thought it was a normal comment............
But it was a comment for Dio!
Teme...
*DIO!*
I see you around a lot. Hello uwu
im literraly shaking and crygin right now, oprah would neverrr say my namea jeff
EmKay r/bone apple tea is coming...
10:01 the only thing I like about that message is that she won't start a new generation.
I can't even start to think how much you have to be dumb to tweet this shit
Damien is like a dad laughing at his own jokes so cool
2:34. The fact that this guys called “Alex (the blonde one)” speaks for its self.
What's up guys and welcome back to Damien, my name is EmKay.
Adriel Oliveira *confused screaming*
How does king crimson work?
@@zyezukeru2333 it just works.
The one who spent 1.4 million got his character back and his friend had to pay 13k to the buyer.
What game is it?
@@Terminate1783 It's a Chinese game called "逆水寒" or Treacherous Waters, an MMORPG.
Day 17, Mission: Get Damien to say “My Namien Is Damien”.
Failure to negotiate with terms will result in him being known as Emgay. *End of Report*
join the club
EmKay okay
Some guy stole this comment and got 2.2K likes
Sans idc honestly.
The lord has responded! It is meant to be!
I got that ad of the old guy telling google to remember things about his wife Loretta that passed and I 100% started tearing 🥺
These posts are why I'm glad that I went to elementary school
@Admiral Lewdiepie I see youre using your new channel
And why i'm glad i graduated preschool
Weebs belong on r/facepalm
No u
Yeah, same.
Video r/facepalm
Me - **has to go to school in 10 minutes**
*_what a coincidence_*
10:02 is a wierd way of saying she is not straight
The process that makes children is a social construct
Mom: Whaddaya have there little buddy?
Me: *Missippi's*
When you've already woken up for school and the first thing you do is watch Damien:
**Damien's laugh intensifies**
7:16 Damien: "That-that makes me feel sad. I don't like thi... hehehehehehe.. s."
I don't even get what that was about
Hassan,same
@@annaprelle3977 i figured it out plenty of fish is a dating app her husband is a cheating shitface poor cristine
Zach: Sorry but.. hahaha
Damien: **W H E E Z E**
Damein: Your free trial of air has expired
11:04 they even spelled “decision” wrong
5:15 “why can’t you enjoy it in the privacy of your own home”
…trains go on tracks. Train tracks do not go through houses. Also, it isn’t concerning her what he does and where. He can take photos wherever he wants to and she can stop complaining about nothing
“Words”
Damien-2019
Zach-2019
Silver is disappointed in your Recent decisions
your tails is dissapointed in your recent decisions ripoff
Damien*
Silver is disappointed in your Recent decisions Zach*
@teabag actually I wasn’t trying to copy him, I just wanted to be like him, I wanted to be “sonic is disappointed in your real decisions” but I saw that name was taken
Silver is disappointed in your Recent decisions thats a copy too
"I feel sorry for anyone who lives in this area!"
Yeah. Pray for us, we're probably gonna be stuck with the Torries another several years.
If Trump gets reelected, i swear to god. He could run against a potted plant for president and I'd vote for the plant.
Cody Hines fun fact! This post is about England.
Mint Mochi
And concidering polling day is tomorrow and most of the younger generation cannot be assed to vote, even though they support labour (the only one that isn't Tory lite) we're gonna get five more years of BJ and poor people being murdered by the system. Oh and no more NHS, so we are all fucked in the end.
@@sunrisesyndicate8650 I think young people will vote, hopefully (except I thought it was on Friday lol whoops) but yeah I've pretty much accepted Torys will win this one :( again.
I was scared about voting because I don't know everything about politics, but most older people know shit. Torys are basically aiming for a dictatorship, I doubt anyone voting for them realized or wants that...
@@JaelinBezel even if this is about England, America are in the shit as well ahah. I'll prey (metaphorically. Atheist.) for you guys too. It's a similar situation really.
"Everybody gangsta 'til Damien busts out the "Nincompoop"."
Damien: (laughs)
*_Suicide rates drop to 0%_*
EmKay "That's a radical way of thinking"
The Hashtags: "Radical Feminism"
Oh, really EmKay. I couldn't have guessed 😂
Damien's Video Contains 2 thing
1. The awaited Video (Content)
2. The Most awaited *Damien's Wheeze*
Damien laughs at his own jokes more than he laughs at the subreddit lol
Glad this video started off in a festive mood
4:11 i think you are confused here, the showerthoughts if the cause of the face palm, ze_pig777 was pointing out the fact that even if people loose weight that weight(the mass) is not out of the planet, all the mass that goes out of their bodies ends up in the planet, so the earth wouldn't be any lighter.
i get the impresion that you think that the earth would be lighter if people loose weight.
Glad to see, that someone pointed it out...
5:01 That Train photographing hit home for me. Great comeback.
10:01 is the one that made me lose the most hope for the human race
0:52 this is more like r/technicallythetruth
Buzz feed is running out of ideas at this point.
"Male suicide rate rises another 3%, women most affected."
@@valentinmitterbauer4196 Gotta say, males can't be affected when they're dead.
BuzzFeed? More like ButtFeed!! Ow yeah!!
Thank you for listening
Top 50 people that inhale oxygen
EmKay Damien laugh
Wise words of my mother, “People who bring you food are the best kind of people” and “be nice to the people bringing you food, because they’re bringing you your food”.
I feel like the bar that has been set as "old enough to earn living wage" is just increasing as I get older.
When you're to early for funny comments
Sad casual noises
When you're 3 months late
sad Rufo noises
There's two people you should never be jerks to:
Those who handle your food, and those who work as your transportation.
One spits in your food, the other drops you off on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere.
The living wage one is England, entire England as well as Scotland and Wales I believe so
6:12 the sad thing is, this happens all the time. A dude kills someone, finds a black guy, and pins it on him.
My mom is gay, my uncle is gay, but yet I'm a female dating a male that dare I say I'm attracted to. So exactly... What "social conditioning" did I miss?
Double standards is like your friend purposely killing your dog in Minecraft
When the likes and comment aren't even in the thousands yet :
"Well, this is weird."
Yeah.
I can’t wait for Christam gifts under my christam bush
My Science teacher had put on the board "Charles Darwin's 209th Birthday" A girl in my class a couple years back then asked "Who's Charles Darwin"? My teacher had answered "The guy who made the theory of evolution." Then she said "HES STILL ALIVE!?" And my teacher proceeded to be dissapointed.
8:15 let's be honest, this would be an amazing segway to a Raycon sponsorship
Me:
My country:
The whole world:
Damien: *Damien laughing noises*
"4 dislikes"
me: confuse Screaming
Australian likes.
You copied this.
why are you telling me to "confuse screaming"? they haven't done you any bad!
Lol
12:26 YO WAIT A DAMN MINUTE THATS ME W A I T
Ok congrats! 👌👏
6:35 you were wooshed, Damien.
0:27 it isnt wild spread info but apparently that guy has a small radiator that isn't normally on and double as a nightstand. He apparently went to take a shower at this nice early december, decided to on the radiator WHILE forgetting the switch lite is on the radiator (Want it to be nice and warm when he come out of the shower). it only took TEN minutes (his words "small radiator heat up fast") then it looks like that. So yea, knowing that i DO feel bad for him lmao...
The amount of times he facepalms to the wrong person is insane
5:27 Pluto isn't a planet.
The sad part of the trump thing is there’s a entire page of him doing anti vax tweets
10:42
omg, that happened to me with 23 OTHER PEOPLE!, of corse, none of us fell for it and blocked the sender
4:43 Damien’s voice here kinda reminds me a Saxton Hale TF2
EmKay: I like this guy. He's cute.
me: No u
1:41 did anyone else realized that he damen or who ever just mix up the second date when he lived
Edit i am the stupid one i did not see the 9 thought it was an 8, i am blind
“3 dislikes”
me : *_confused screaming_*
25 my good sir
28 sire
Lord Gojira consequently the number has recently increased to 29- kind regards
@@Chloe-o1h
M'lord, is that Eveeeen legal?
Lord Gojira no, tis treason!
00:00
Archangel Gabriel: you're pregnant
Mary: what? I don't remember doing anythin-
Gabriel: It's Christ, M'am!
5:10 Yeah.... I once have a teacher whose hobby is collecting steam trains photograph. Let me tell you guys, He LOVE his old locomotives.
WE NEED FOR DAMIAN TO SAY MY NAMIAN IS DAMIAN
yes
I’ve been vaccinated and can confirm I indeed have the “autisms” 😭🤣🤣🤣
(Seriously though, love ya! Chu and Zak are brill! 👌🏻🧩)
ThatsideofYT [Philipc114] 😢
Respect, fallen comrade
Glad you’ve been exposed to the truth of autisms juices and the dangers of thinking differently 🤟😔
What the actual hell
LyonGaming2007 Looks like someone doesn’t have the autisms 👀
Oooooooooh i get it
I love how most of these posts should be on other subreddits.
so accurate about food service. we are nice people, and we do want to make you happy, but cross us, and it’s over.
if I ever tried to land a joke and Damien laughed at me with the sarcastic 'a-ha-ha' I don't think I would ever get over it from the sheer depression
2:50 alex(the blonde one)
0:58 well they're not wrong
1:27 why'd you blur the names on the grave stones? One of them served in WW1 and that would of been a nice thing to google
He DID spell color wrong, YOU'RE the one we're facepalming at
1:12 omfg I had no idea this is mind blowing someone needs to send this to Albert Einstein’s grave give this person a Nobel prize
4:25 that comment is right. Mass cannot be destroyed or made. Or to be more precise matter/energy. He is right.
.....yes. that is the point. That is why it is in this subreddit.
3:36 my brain is microscopic someone explain
Ok, missing some context, but I THINK that whoever put the poster up was trying to say Schiff never followed the rules, but by putting "0 days since Schiff last followed the rules", they were literally just saying "Schiff followed the rules today".
2:55 Alex(Blonde one ) lmao
The last one made me squeal with laughter!!! most of these were funny but that one was also so cute too
I love that emkay isn’t shying away from dumbass political tweets, I appreciate that
4:34 *accidentally racism*
There is nothing he can do because his hand are dark enuf to be the same color as gloves and it wouldn't help if he has a lower resolution