GRWM: we're no longer trying to get pregnant... 😅
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- Опубліковано 28 вер 2024
- I hope you enjoy todays video! thank you so much for listening XX
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2:45 taking a break from trying
6:21 good morning america interiviewed me....
a portion of todays video is sponsored by D'alba.
#dalba #dalbasprayserum #truffleglow #amazonfinds #dalbahood
"you can respectfully hear my perspective, and have a different perspective [at the same time]". The world is sorely missing this life lesson that was drilled into me from a young age. I think we need to bring it back. Thank you.
I wish you luck on your journey and on your INTERVIEW!!!!!
We have really gotten away from this mentality… and I don’t understand it. Thank you for listening and being so kind ❤
After losing twins at 22 weeks, I was placed in an exam room right next to a pregnant mom listening to her baby's heartbeat which I could clearly hear. This was one of the most hurtful days throughout this process, and I have never forgotten the additional hurt that caused. Please, doctors, wake up and treat losses with compassion. India, you are a shining star, keep that up and always stay true to what you want and need for yourself. Praying for you that grief passes soon! Thank you for bringing this to light!!!
I had to give birth to my little boy still born at 7.5 months in the normal maternity ward in a room at the very end of ward. Passing by all the new mums and watching all the mums in labour. Ud think in this day and age they would have somewhere separate
As someone who had an ectopic pregnancy last spring and has been trying again since July (with no success), I totally agree with you. In general, I would love to see more empathy from healthcare professionals to women who have lost their babies. I understand they see a lot of them, but I don’t want to be treated like a number. This is my life that’s been altered forever. It’s an isolating experience. Thankful for women like you that speak boldly and share their stories ♥️ Praying for our rainbow babies in His timing 🌈🥰
EXACTLY! So well said. Thank you for sharing part of your story ❤
I agree it took me two years after my ectopic for my babies. I struggled and isolated myself for a long time while trying to figure out my place
I’m sorry you went through that! After my miscarriage I remember my fiancé and I were grief stricken and scared about what it could mean for future pregnancies and I understand that the OB (a male doctor) was trying to sound optimistic but at the time it really felt like being brushed off. “Oh it happens, we don’t worry until you have 3 or more”. Like IM SORRY? You want me to potentially go through this 3 times before you start to care?
India...I have never had a miscarriage, nor have I ever been pregnant, but I can honestly say, that you have support from people all around the world that you have never met before. The comments that people have made, WOMEN in particular, are disgusting and you should never have to read after going through something so hard. I am so sorry.
I can’t even tell you how much this message means to me 🩷 thank you for being a lovely human being that is kind an empathetic, even though you haven’t been in these shoes. You are a GEM!
I am the same. I am 58 years old and have never been pregnant but my heart does break when young women who want children badly go through these things. I do firmly believe that every single life has purpose including children who haven’t made it to birth before they are called home by God.
I'm so grateful you shared that video, while I was sitting in the waiting room at my OB last month after the ER visit where we found no heart beat (12 weeks) I just sat in tears while 10 other women with big beautiful bellies stared at me. That room brought me so much joy in the past for my first baby and it will never bring the same joy again. My heart is with you and I know we will get our rainbows at exactly the right time❤
My daughter in law experienced this. After 12 week’s pregnant, the doctor couldn’t find a heart beat. It was DEVASTATING. Years ago my son at age 14, was in a car accident with his nine-year-old sister and stepfather. He was the only survivor out of that car accident so losing this baby was an extra round of grief for him. They had to do a DNC on my daughter-in-law to remove the tissue and that was extra traumatic. , they chose to not continue trying, which is heartbreaking for me as I do not have any grandchildren and now I never will. I don’t tell him that I don’t want to add to his burden. I actually thought all miscarriages were when your body flushes out the fetus, but I found out that sometimes, the fetus just does not continue to remain viable and it either has to be removed or your body will eject it naturally. I am so sorry for your loss. I am so sorry for your grief and your pain and I pray that you get your baby. All babies are gifts from God, they are all precious. ❤️
India! YES!! I had an ectopic pregnancy which ended up being in an unknown location where I had to go to the oncology ward with cancer patients to receive two injections of chemo to kill off my HCG and had to take weekly blood tests until it dropped off in August of last year and then I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks and walked through a room of pregnant women then rode the elevator down with a full term pregnant mama after I found out I had one of three awful choices to make to end my pregnancy on Jan 31 and I agree with you 100000%.
I have an almost three year old beautiful little girl and I don’t have the time to process my emotions I have to show up for she and my husband fully and watching your videos makes me just sob and really process the whirlwind that I have been through so thank you for being so eloquent and open about your experiences 🙏🏻 💕
I have also been through this in 2021, found out i was pregnant but i was having pains in my side, i was supposed to be 4 weeks at that point and they couldnt see anythinfg but told me it could just be to early to see anything, i was back and forward from the hospital every 2 days for 3 weeks having scans and blood tests. Mine was also unknown location but i was having severe pain in my right side and hip, by the end of the 3 weeks i was in agony and the scans where agony, both my arms where bruised and sore from the constant blood tests. I remember how painful the blood tests where towards rhe end, i also had to have those 2 injections in my hips. Even after this i still had to go back every 48 hours for a further week for more blood tests to make sure my hcg was dropping, it was just such an awful time in my life and the worst thing about it was for those 4 weeks of being at the hospital every 2 days i had to walk out and see pregnant women walking in and out of the hospital happy after going for their scans and watch women leave the hospital wirh their newborn babies. Ofcourse you dont feel anything bad towards them but when your going through a sitatuon like this or experiencing a loss in an way its just absolutely painful and awful to have to see it every time. I remember by the end i just was wishing for it to be over sooner rather than later because you cant move on and heal having to keep going back and forward to the hospital and having to see newborns and pregnant women. I think their needs to be more compassion towards women like us because we are not just some one who has a medical problem we are also experiencing a loss as well as having problems with our health. Im so glad it worked out for you and you have a little girl x
I cried off and on throughout this video. You are displaying so much grace and courage. Wise beyond your years.
You are a blessing to so many.
So much love to you friend❤ thank you for your kind words!
I saw the article about your interview today. 👏👏 I am so glad your opinions and ideas are being shared. Hopefully there is good that comes from this.
Thank you for watching and reading the article !!!! I am determined to make changes for women who will experience pregnancy loss in the future ❤
My reproductive endocrinologist shares a clinic with a pediatrician, and after 6 losses in a row I can totally relate to what you mean about being there for a miscarriage follow up and seeing pregnant women/women with small children in the same waiting area. It's just that in that moment it's an especially hard thing to be around.
Well done for speaking about such a vulnerable time in order to spread more awareness about what it's like to experience pregnancy loss. And it's wonderful you and your hubs are staying self aware and taking a break as needed. It can be a long journey and you don't want to miss out on life in the meantime.
Oh wow, that would be rough. I even thought it was pretty insensitive that a couple brought their children to a fertility clinic. I know that may make me a jerk, but as I am waiting to talk about our inability to have children, I have to see this happy couple with their complete family grinning ear to ear.
I absolutely agree with you that there should be separate waiting rooms or different times of day for woman who are pregnant and those experiencing loss or having trouble conceiving. I fall in to the later category and have never been pregnant. I do have a beautiful adopted daughter and two step sons and I feel so blessed to have those children, now adults, in my life. I truly hope that everything works out for you. Have a great vacation and recharge!
Are you going to pay for it
Thank you for bringing a light to this! I went through a loss and all those appointments after the loss in the regular waiting room was rough.
Sending you love and positive energy! Changes need to be made 🩶
Having had a missed miscarriage recently and also having to sit in the same waiting room as still pregnant women, I have to agree about how HARD it is to sit there on the worst day of your life and watch while others are having the best. I also had to walk through the waiting room immediately after finding out my baby had no heartbeat absolutely balling while walking past people waiting for their scans. Can’t have been nice for the people waiting and it wasn’t nice for me 😢 thank you so much for speaking out about your experience x
Oh love, you’re so brave, strong and tenacious, an undeniable role model for this and future generations and a voice for so so SO many women around the world, thank you.
I’m in utter shock that you got hate comments from your other video. I too know that losing your baby is most certainly not a “pick yourself up and dust yourself off” circumstance, for many. And like you said, without those haters your message wouldn’t have travelled so far, so quickly and reached so many.
Have the best holiday ever! Turn off your phone, stand bare foot in the grass, you and Daniel just “be”, no one deserves it more.
Sending so much love ❤️
This video was the first time I saw the viral clip. Bravo to you for speaking what was in your heart and possibly being part of the change we see in clinics and practices. Been a fan for awhile because of your hair advice, but thank you for being even more relatable now. Good luck on the interview😊
I’m so glad to see genuine joy on your face! 💚much love and prayers for y’all.
We had loss, infertility, after 8 years we had our little rainbow baby, and my heart is with you. We took breaks from the meds and trying for mental health AND physical health and I think it truly helps. Stress and grief are hard on the body, take time to HEAL, it's very good for your entire body, mind and soul. As hard as it is to choose to take a break, it can be so helpful (from experience) and you are WISE and you're an incredible mother even in this earliest season of motherhood ❤
GIRL. Can I just say your skin is looking absolutely amazing in this video. I know it has been a journey for you so just wanted to shout that out.
Also 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 on your good morning America news xxxx
Thank you so much!!!! not to be dramatic, but it’s honestly a compliment. I never thought I would get. So so grateful !!!!!
@@indiabatson26 ❤️
Omg! You and your husband and my husband and I are literally going through the same thing! I’m the girl from your Instagram video on your miscarriage that commented about me also being in the same boat as you to the dot! Like date wise we are on the same page as you. And we also are taking a break (also 2 losses back to back, 4 overall 5 babies) and are going on a vacation too lol! And we will start trying again God willing during the summer. So this is crazy that what you’re sharing is exactly where we are at! Blessing to you and your future hun!
I think it's so admirable that you are listening to yourself and taking the time that you need to heal, physically and emotionally. I had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy last summer and took nine full months to grieve the loss and recover from the trauma of that experience. Even though I had conflicted feelings about discontinuing trying, especially, as you said, because it may take longer to conceive with only one tube, I'm ultimately so glad I took this time because I can now return to trying with a greater sense of peace, hopefulness, and excitement. And I can't overstate how helpful a wonderful trip with my husband was, so I hope your vacation offers you similar healing and respite. Wishing you both all the best.
I completely understand everything you have been through. I lost my twins at approximately the same time you had your ectopic pregnancy. I went in for my first check up to find out I was pregnant with twin and that they stopped growing at 6 weeks. It’s very hard coming back for follow up appointments and having to see other women with successful pregnancies. It’s makes it even harder when you keep trying and you are unsuccessful at getting pregnant with each passing month. I’m not knocking anyone who can get pregnant and carry to full term. Congrats to each and every woman out there however for those who are as fortunate need to be able to be treated in a way to help us cope. I feel we dont get the same love and care to help us through our time of loss. Congrats on being able to getting an interview and being able to help others with your words and with everything you have been through. I throughly enjoy watching your videos!! You are such a joy and have helped me through my tough times❤
Enjoy your vacation and hope you both get some healing ❤
thank you so so much friend. so much lvoe to you!!!
Omgah I feel the exact same way.. they did my methotrexate injections on the POSTPARTUM floor for both my ectopic pregnancies.. (I’ve had two ectopics and an early miscarriage) and then I had to come back to the clinic where they discovered my unviable pregnancies and wait in a room with a bunch of healthy pregnant women.. so I just cried in the waiting room where ppl could see.. it was so uncomfortable.. thats a form of mental torture clinics and hospitals need to think about.. Like there I was laying in my hospital bed waiting for the chemotherapy shots to end my pregnancy meanwhile I hear newborn babies crying in the background. I just bawled my eyes out the whole hospital procedure. And with my second ectopic pregnancy, even though I had two rounds of methotrexate, my left tube still ruptured and needed to be removed. So I’m also down to one tube as well and am scared to travel while trying.
I resonate with so much of what you said ❤❤❤ I am so sorry for your pregnancy losses. Thank you for sharing some thing so personal! You are seeing valued and heard, and we can make a change together for those he will come after us!
so sorry this happened to you. that is such a heartbreaking experience 😣 ♥️ i hope that India helps create change so no more women will have to feel the way you did in the midst of an already impossibly painful time
Thank you for being a voice for all of us mothers who have angel 👼 babies ❤ we love and support you!
I just want you to know ..never give up...i lost three pregnancies back to back ...fast forward 10 years later..i have a 19 month old son... out of the blue after i thought there wasn't any chance... miracles happen every day! 😊
I am currently pregnant and finding out Friday if it is viable or not. It’s not looking good and it will also be my second loss in a row. Hoping so much that we receive good news but regardless, I SEE YOU. You are so strong and I love how vulnerable you are with your audience. Enjoy your time off with your husband and wishing you the best on this journey moving forward. 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
OMG! India! So proud of you. Not only for the TicTok blow up but you have handled something so difficult with so much grace and love. Sending you and your husband so much ❤️
I went into labor at 5 months, 6 months and 8 months delivered still born babies. Being in the hospitals delivery unit and being rushed out of a room because you no longer have a living child in order for you to be admitted for the couple days they keep you after having a baby and hearing all the infants around crying and you’re walking out empty-handed and brokenhearted. There should definitely be a separate place area for loss no matter how far along you are! May God wrap his hands around you and heal you and your husband.
My boyfriend an i are currently trying. We are following fertility treatments, as with my pcos, i very rarely naturally ovulate. I must say i am so happy they decided to separate the fertility clinic department from the obstetrics. It's really hard and emotional as a process, and having to look at beautiful pregnant belly while waiting to check wether the medication to help me ovulate this month worked of if we have to skip this cycle and try again next month would be horrible. Where i go, the section for miscarriages etc, is also separate, they even have a different entrance. I think it's better this way, but also had a friend (who had a miscarriage at 7 weeks) whose hospital had only one waiting room and she also found it to be quite cruel to have to wait with pregnant women.
I’m so sorry for everything you went through but so thankful you can help be a catalyst for change! I hate how the medical system can mistreat women and this is one step forward ❤
After having two 2nd trimester losses back to back we had to take a break. My husband and I decided to wait a full year because we just couldn't take another loss so soon. I won't travel out of my state at all next time we are pregnant. We found a lot of peace in waiting and I desperately needed therapy after two extremely traumatic losses. Hang in there it can be so hard. Glad you guys are going on a vacation. Enjoy the time to reconnect with your husband
During the duration of trying for my 2nd baby, we were 9 months in and nothing was happening so we took a break. I stopped tracking my cycles and even got on birth control for a cycle to see if it would help with my cycle. While still on that break (off of birth control) I got pregnant. Took us 13 months. That break was truly what I needed.
You go girl! Enjoy your vacation and time away. When you're ready hit it out of the ballpark.
My heart absolutely broke when I saw your last video. I wanted to come through the screen and give you a hug. I'm so glad just to see you smiling again. I hope you guys have an amazing time on vacation!
It was so incredibly hard to sit in that waiting room for my blood draws for my HCG being around pregnant women knowing that my baby was gone. I just kept my face in my husbands shoulder. Yes he came with me to all my blood draws.
You are so strong to be able to be around pregnant friends right now. I had a late miscarriage (I was almost 14 weeks) in December and just fond out a friend of mine is pregnant and while I'm so happy for her I broke down crying. And I HATE that I did. I'm still far from being okay. I almost broke down at work because I thought about how I had planned to name my son Michael after both my father and brother who have passed away and he's in heaven with them. I don't know how to be okay with my son being gone.
I am so sorry for your loss. ❤
You are absolutely stunning! I'm obsessed with your eyes. 😍😍 But I'm sorry you had to go through all of this but THANK YOU for sharing your story and using your platform to bring awareness for those of us that can't do it ourselves. You are so strong. ❤️
I'm so sorry for your loss.. 💔
I love you so much ❤️
I pray for you to get all the strength in the world to deal with this.. I hope your trauma heals..
India, my heart breaks for you. After my second trimester miscarriage, I never wanted to try for kids. When my husband and I got married, we were not trying, and it just happened. But during both pregnancies, I had so much anxiety that I took a pregnancy test almost every week. I did not take time to heal mentally and grieve. The fact that you are both brave enough to openly state that you need this time to heal speaks volumes. You are such a beacon to so many women!!! My heart and prayers are with you through this entire journey. I believe God will give you what you and your husband need when His time is right.
So sorry for the loss you have endured. I can’t even imagine the heartbreak after the first time to then go through it again. It never ceases to amaze me that people can lack empathy. It’s a sad commentary on the state of human beings these days. Sending love and thank you to all the other women you have helped by sharing your story.
My cousin tried for 3 years, gave up and got pregnant a month later. Take time to heal and enjoy your time off. Praying for you🙏❤️
I remember as i sat in the waiting room waiting the excruciating 2 weeks to see if my baby had/still had a heartbreat and being so sad an anxious already and having to see happy pregnant women come out with their baby scans all happy smiling next to their significant others. it was hard to know I will not get to have a ultrasound picture to gush over when I came out. Luckily I now have my 2 year old son but I remembered to tuck away the ultrasound when I was newly pregnant with him so that when I walk out the room into the waiting area, I would potentially spare a woman from heartache of seeing me hold mine.
Thank you for being so vulnerable to share. I had never really thought about this, but I agree with you!
Thank you for listening ❤❤❤❤❤
My aunt had 2 ectopic pregnancies and has had trouble conceiving and everything that goes with it physically and mentally. She just had her first baby born a month ago. There is hope, even if it doesn't work out the way you want it to. Hope everything goes well for you!
Hey India! I've been watching you for years! I started out following your curly hair routine and loved it! But... I've been out of the loop for a little while. I just saw your story about your Pregnancy losses. Let me begin with telling how so, so sorry i am for you. It breaks my Heart for you, because I understand how hard it is to go through it, its very traumatic both physically and mentally!! Unfortunately, I've had losses myself. I've had 2 Ectopic Pregnancies. I almost bled to death with the first one. The first Ectopic I went through was very fast and scary. I didn't know i was pregnant and i thought that my late period and horrible cramps was just my Endometriosis acting up... Well within the next 6 hours I was in such horrible pain that it was making me physically sick. My husband drove me to the E.R. and as soon as we walked in, I looked at him and said "I'm gonna faint!!" That's all i remember until i woke up in a room about 10 minutes later. The Doctor came in pretty quickly and after i told him what had been going on, he sent me immediately to have an Abdominal Ultrasound. Almost as soon as she saw my stomach on the screen, she called for the Doctor to come the room asap! He looked again with the probe and told then told me that i was severely bleeding internally and that i needed emergency surgery! I was having an Ectopic Pregnancy that had ruptured my right Fallopian Tube causing the bleeding. I was in shock, i was in horrific pain, I was scared... I was alllll the emotions at once! They made a rather large incision that resembles a C-section incision, only mine is a little bit longer. Of course there was absolutely no way he could've repaired the Tube, it was completely ruptured! I was in the hospital for 9 days. The part that really hurt was that i had a room on the Maternity floor. We had been trying to get pregnant for 2 years without any success. It was sweet to hear the happiness and little cries around us, but made us sad because I had just gone through an absolute nightmare.... Fast forward 4 years and I had a 2nd Ectopic Pregnancy. But this time i knew i was pregnant. Super early pregnant, and when took my little at home test and it was positive i called my OBGYN immediately. He took blood and urine and did Internal Ultrasounds every other day. My HCG levels were rising, but not like they should've. After several more Ultrasounds he was able to see the start of my Fallopian Tube become swollen. I had to have another surgery to remove that Tube.... So we weren't able to have children of our own, but we have so many we "claim!!" Hahaha... We're the cool Uncle and Aunt!! We get to love on and spoil some pretty great kids, and then give them back to their Parents!! Hahahaha
After the 2nd Ectopic, my husband and i said that we were going to make peace within ourselves that we're happy together and are blessed with awesome friends and family who stood through everything with us in our fertility journey! I sure don't mean every day has been rainbows and glitter.... But it gets better day by day!
Gosh, I just wrote a whole BOOK on here!! Hahaha... But, I just wanted you to know that you're not alone. I'll pray that wherever your fertility journey takes you, that you'll find happiness and love!! ❤
Taking a break sounds just like the thing you two might need right now. And if you are trying to get your mind off of it, maybe consider also taking off the oura ring for this time. It's a constant reminder I feel and missing one cycle will not change its settings or anything. Have a great vacation! ❤
What a sweet observation ❤
India! I have followed you for years my heart breaks with you as you've shared your story.
I absolutely agree with more trauma informed & compassionate care. And know I am praying for your rainbow baby whenever you guys decide you're ready to try again ❤❤❤
My kids pediatrician s office has a sick side and a well side. So separate waiting rooms is totally a thing. And ur damn right it is compassionate care and trauma informed care. And the fit gaps you mention about days in the week or AM vs PM is the bare minimum.
I agree with you about the travel. After my 19 week missed miscarriage I was diagnosed with anti phospholipid syndrome, and will have to be on lovenox in future pregnancies. The idea of being away from my doctors at all really freaks me out.
You are truly as always a beautiful women, soul, and inspiration. Wishing you so much healing and joy from Vegas! ❤❤❤
Cruises are so relaxing. You can do everything or you can do nothing. We try to cruise once a year .
We’ve been all over the world on cruises. We have 18 under our belt and the 19th booked for October. We like the bigger ships of Royal Caribbean because there is so much to do.
Enjoy. After all your trauma, you deserve some downtime.
I randomly got this facial spray in the mail without ordering it and omg girl- it is SO GOOD
that is so random I love that 😂😂😂😂 ITS SO GOOD RIGHT ?!?!? I feel like Amazon reviews are ruthless… and they have thousands of five star reviews. It always let me know if someone is gonna be good or not lol !!
I came across your video explaining how you had to get one of your tubes removed and it brought me back to over 10 years ago when I lost my tube and ovary from a 10 cm cyst I was told I would need iv treatments to get pregnant bc I only had 30 percent chance or less to ever get pregnant I know have a 7 year old beautiful son and was only with his dad one time and he went to heaven when I found out I was 2 weeks pregnant keep your faith god is good and with him all things are possible !
I experienced a miscarriage years ago, but I agree with you. It was hard sitting in the doctor's waiting room with all the pregnant women and those with their babies for me too.
Love you, India!! And love your perspective! Struggling with infertility and 100% agree with you! Thank you for giving us ladies a voice!! You go girl!! Good Morning America will be lucky to have you!
A vacation sounds like a good idea. I didn’t have any trouble getting pregnant. I had trouble STAYING pregnant. It is so stressful on your entire being-mind, body, and soul. You take care of you. Take care of your marriage, and take care of your husband. Sending you love and keeping you in my prayers! 🩷
I saw your message about the waiting room on insta, I think, and AMEN, SISTER! I feel this so deeply from my past. My story is almost opposite of yours - missed miscarriage and then ruptured ectopic (I was in hemorrhagic shock and in very bad condition). I was so grateful to be alive after, that my perspective on life and marriage and children was very different after that experience than before - I understand loss changing your way of thinking. I wish you happiness, whatever that turns out to be.
❤ I agree I had a ruptured ectopic and it was days before the hospital finally gave me an ultrasound. They just kept sending me home saying your having a miscarriage you'll be fine. My mom after 3 days of me being in insurmountable pain took me to the ER and I demanded a ultrasound where they found the ruptured ectopic and that I was hemorrhaging I had to stay on the labour and delivery floor for 3 days while I recovered after the surgery. I'm blessed that a Dr finally listened to me and God allowed me to go on and live and have 2 bueatiful boys.
My cousin also only has one fallopian tube and she struggled for 8 years to get pregnant but she swears up and down that when she just let go and stopped stressing and trying for a baby was when she finally was able to convince, she now has two kids. Praying for your healing journey India when you least expect it you’ll be a mom I promise 💕💕
I'm so sorry, and I wish there were better words that really conveyed the depth of feeling. Wishing you all the best.
Sending you all the love ❤️ ps. Your skin girl!! Wow😍😍
New subscriber ❤ praying for y'all and yes take time God will bless you with a baby in his best timing.
I had a missed micarraige and needed at D&C also. I remember on my way to theatre and going past rooms that women were obviously having c-sections as there were new Daddies outside holding their newborn babies.
I felt it so sad to see how different the situations were. It was so upsetting and hard!
When anyone can see someone grieving and just...feel such contempt and venom in response, I truly cannot understand it. I know you know how much love and empathy and prayer is pouring out for you from the world right now, but I just want to say it again: so many of us see you and hear you, and have nothing but love to share
I hope you enjoy your vacation ❤. And your idea about creating separate rooms for women experiencing miscarriage and fertility issues is a really nice idea. Hopefully since some doctor's offices are kinda implementing this maybe this could be the new status quo.
Girl. I know. Walking into that waiting room and thinking to myself, "Nobody knows that I'm losing a baby right now. Like, right now." It's surreal. And it's sad. It's heartbreaking, and when the heart breaks, it heals differently in grief and is never really the same.
My heart goes out to you, having lost my first born full-term during an emergency C-section. The pain is the same. The hopes and future dreams we had for our little one will never happen. The nurses gave me a book EMPTY ARMS by Sherokee Ilse. And told me just ignore anything in it you don't like ...but go on reading. I found this book so very comforting and educational. I couldn't put it down and referred to it many times, especially when my arms literally ached for that lost, beautiful baby. Take comfort to in Psalms 139:15-16 in the Bible and know that the future holds promise.
I think when people say "yeah its normal, everyone goes through this or pick yourself up and stop crying about it or someone has it worse" are people that were taught to suffer alone. From my experience...being alone leads to depression which could lead to ending yourself....and thats for any gender. When i lost my daughter at 21 weeks and i gave birth to her and she never took her first breath....i wanted to end my life...but i had a child and a husband and i picked myself up....talked to my husband about what we experienced but overall i learned to share my story without crying...to show people my life without shutting people out. I learned from losing my daughter to be open.
firstly, you‘re absolutely gorgeous, inside and out, with and without make up, just to put that out there. secondly, having never been pregnant and never having a miscarriage but knowing how hard miscarriages can be, 1. god sent you one of his angels but needed him back for something and nobody knows what, 2. i 100% agree with you about the seperate waiting room bc it will be full of women going through the same thing and supporting each other and the men there can support each other too, either way it‘s a win❤️❤️one day, when y‘all are ready and it fits in god‘s plan, you will be blessed with a lil baby batson and that baby will be a perfect mix of both you and daniel. stay strong and just enjoy your vacation babe you deserve it🫂
I agree that it was extremely hard to be that person still trying to grieve after I lost my baby you are so amazing to be so strong
I”m so sorry anyone threw hate your way. I’ve not experienced pregnancy loss but lost one of my sons when he was 18 years old and child loss at any stage is unbearable. I think your suggestion about separate waiting rooms or appointment times is amazing.
I’m sorry for your loss and I completely understand. I lost my 41 yo son last June and everyday has been a struggle for me since then. I also lost 4 babies in early miscarriages back in the 90s so I understand India’s heartbreak as well. 💔
If someone hasn’t been through it, they can’t understand it. I too sat in that waiting room bleeding, miscarrying and grieving for what wouldn’t be.
This is such a great idea, I’ve been at three diff hospital systems for my three children, but have never seen this before. My first had a traumatic brain injury at birth and is now severely disabled. At my 2 wk and 6 wk follow up appointments, I was asked by other mamas where my baby was. I would just tear up and quietly say, “the NICU”. They would be surprised and visibly feel bad for asking me and then ask, “Will he get out soon?” And I had to say, “no, he will be there a long time” and just cry.
I could have used this separate waiting room situation if it was available to me.
I also loved her points of how you are actively going through trauma and grief, so it’s not like you have space to compose yourself; and how in many other aspects in life we aren’t asking for “special treatment” but this situation is just really sensitive and actively happening, and you are super vulnerable… it’s not a time to “just pull yourself up by the bootstraps”
I agree with you. I haven't experienced this myself but I'm sure that is a horrible experience to go through. I think there should be a separate location for losses.
i think its wise to let yourselves have some healing time & the Lord will work what's best with the timing I pray the "missed opportunities" don't weigh too heavily on you while you take time as a couple! praying alongside your loss
Take this time to have fun and enjoy being together. The rest will come in time.❤
Best line: ‚I‘m not gonna be doing my hair, because I don‘t want to.‘ And that‘s enough of a reason!🤗
India, I think you might be THE most GORGEOUS person on planet earth. 🌍 like literally. You are STUNNING. I want to go to ULTA and tell the people who work there that your make up look is EXACTLY what I’d like to achieve. lol I have blue eyes too :) ❤ in Gods perfect timing you will have a beautiful baby. I’m so sorry your having to go through this but I will say there is purpose in your pain. You may not see it now but the Lord is preparing your heart. ❤️.God bless you sweetie. I hope you have a wonderful time on your vacation with hubby. 🤗 🙏
Been trying for two years. I hate going to the obgyn for these exact reasons. I don’t begrudge the pregnant women but it is a painful reminder of what I am trying and failing to achieve.
Sometimes to take a break is the best you can do for yourself…….please take are both of you…….Donna in Toronto
Remember that you are enough just as you are, you don’t need a child to complete your life! Society just puts a lot of pressure on people, making us think that we all need children, but we do not!
We are with you. God bless you and your husband. Enjoy your vacation and heal with love.
I'm so sorry - it was very difficult for me and my husband to have our kids. We had 4 pregnancies, 2 miscarriages and 2 live births. Now my kids are 22 and 18 and I'm so grateful to have them. I do still remember the heartache we went through though during that time. I hope you have a great relaxing vacation and wish you the best now and in the future!
I had 2 miscarriages between my first and second children, which were heartbreaking. Then at 36, I was diagnosed with cervical cancer- one of the rare cases that didn't involve HPV. I was done having kids, but having a total hysterectomy and facing cancer was traumatic, painful, and extremely emotional. To add insult to injury, when a friend sent flowers to my hospital room, the damn hospital sent "It's a Girl!" flowers and diaper/formula samples were sent to my room and came to my house for months. I told anyone there that I could, how insensitive it was that since my doctor was an OBGYN, it was assumed that I was there to have a baby. It was a really hard time. Thank you, India, for using your platform to bring us all together and keep the conversation going!
I am so vert sorry that you were not treated w/ respect when you are dealing w/ a loss. Yes we ALL grieve in different ways. But to belittle anyone in the way THEY need to process anything, is like telling them that punch didn't hurt. I hope that you and Daniel have a wonderful vacation and enjoy each other. You are still young and have time. G-D will provide.
You have been in my prayers. I'm doing a cruise next month also, that would be funny if we were on the same cruise.
Oh my gosh, when I was 16, in the elevator on the way up to my gynecologist, I witnessed a woman have a miscarriage. Not to be too graphic, but there was a lot of blood. It was really devastating seeing her have to walk up to the counter to check in just like everyone else. Like even at that age, I couldn’t fathom why, given her physical appearance, the first thing that they didn’t do was take her into a room and care for her immediately. My gynecologist at that office was so cold to me that I ended up switching, and I’ve never forgotten about this poor woman
My daughter took 8 drops of dietary Iodine in a glass of water a day and she got pregnant within a month. They could not get pregnant and went through the first stages with doctors to get pregnant and she didn’t want to do the hormones anymore. Her friend had the same problems and went to a homeopathic and got pregnant and so she tried the same thing.
amazing!! im so so glad she got pregnant! what a blessing
🎯! I don’t have your experience but I will say this, when I was at my OBGYN appointments I would, at every appointment, look around the room and see the ladies there. Some were pregnant and happy about it. Some were pregnant and unhappy. And other ladies were sitting there and you could always see the pain or grief in their eyes and on their faces! I had the same thought. They’re hurting so much I wish they didn’t have to sit here and be reminded of it! Praying for your tender heart to be healed and and your appointed time to come. May your joy come in the morning! 🩷
I absolutely agree with you India ❤
I’m so sorry to hear you got negative comments, India. Those people are not worth your time or energy. When they go low, we go high ❤️❤️❤️
I had 10 miscarriges in 5 yrs..after loss number #7,i thought about tying my tubes...the losses hurt so bad..the hurt, pain, dissapointment is very painful..
I now have a 2 ye old and 1 yr old..
Conceived naturally with a little bit of hope..
Im a grandmother now raised two sons and i agree with you there shoiuld be a separate waiting area.prayers
Oh I've always thought there should be gynecologist just for women who aren't moms! I'm not able to have children and though it doesn't effect me now, it definitely has in the past seeing all the very pregnant women in the waiting room while I'm wondering if I'll ever be next.
Good luck for NXT time 💞..be blessed dear & enjoy your life ❣️😊😊
If you've ever told India she's selfish for not wanting children I know you also told her to stop grieving her back to back pregnancy losses because "life happens", and now will tell her again she's selfish for not trying for kids again. You will all get yours from the Big Man himself.
I struggle with PCOS and am open to either being a mom or childless. I know it will be a lifelong journey so I'm trying to enjoy my life the best I can. I can't say I know how you feel having lost two pregnancies because I don't, but I will say I wish I could wrap my arms around you and Daniel. I am so deeply sorry for the enormous loss. 💛💔
You go girl!!!!!
Do what you, your spouse and your body need. Have fun and who knows? maybe you make a baby in the process! Whatever you do, whatever happens, take care of yourself and your loved ones! Lots of love!!!!
My 💛 is with you India!! Kim-
I am so sorry, India. After watching the TikTok video I thought: “I don’t know if that’s possible. What are the regulations, etc?”
Then I thought, then I brainstormed. Then I heard the ideas from your comments. It’s possible! I graduated with my Master’s last year and moved on to hospital administration. I am in a position that now has sway with other hospital leaders. I’m saying this not to brag - but to tell you that you saying this, this going viral, me watching this video, me saying this to someone in my hospital planning committee (or my friend that is an OBGYN!) - this is 7 degrees of separation. This is how you slowly but surely change the world, India!! Look at God.
This all came from your platform, then tragic loss, your faith in God, and other people hearing your story. God has so much planned for you. One day you’re going to look at your children and get to tell them the story of how their mommy helped women in the US and beyond. ❤
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