Wow! you are very VERY brave you should be very proud of yourself. You made huge progress. Remember:'Being brave isn't not being afraid. Being brave is being afraid and going ahead and doing what you have to do.' Greetings from Peru .Keep doing what you're doing .It´s awesome! You are awesome!
Thanks So much for sharing this. My daughter has SM and I can see how difficult it is to even consider breaking your rules. It is a disorder that goes undiagnosed and misunderstood. Knowledge is power and I'm thankful and proud of what you're doing for yourself and others.
I have selective mutism as well. I appreciate your braveness in making this video & talking about your experience. I hope things will get better for you soon.
Thank you for sharing your story. I have an 11 year old daughter with Selective Mutism, and your video gave me some comfort in knowing there are more young people working through this.
Lauren, you are so brave to make this video. I know that it had to be so hard to do. But, it is so worth the challenge. My 9 year old granddaughter has SM. She started showing signs of it around 4. When I told her parents that I thought she had the disorder, they weren't ready to accept it. Eventually she was diagnosed. Information in such a personal form is so helpful for those of us who want to support, encourage and lessen the anxiety. Thank you!
That was actually wonderful of you to share. Some people really don't understand these thing and others feel alone with things like anxiety and selective mutism and it pisses me off when I hear people saying things like "why would she be afraid to talk?" I feel like your video helped many people and helped other people to be more open minded. -_-
You are nothing short of amazing. You have come so far and are so brave. You should be incredibly proud of yourself! I can tell you're a great person, and a determined, strong individual. My daughter has SM, and I can only hope she'll find the strength to begin to overcome this as well. All of the best to you! And to everyone else in the comments who is battling SM!
Well done, Lauren! So proud of you. :) I've never thought about having a sort of rulebook or code but it's definitely true. I've gone through so many situations instinctively "knowing" what to do/when to be aware of my fear of speaking. Thanks for putting words to it!
I'm 24, almost done with graduate school but still afraid of speaking at university and in specific social settings, plus, I don't remember ever going out of my way to start a conversation. I can especially relate with the following of certain rules subconsciously. I think what you are doing is extremely brave and I wish you the best of luck with your goal of overcoming SM and helping other people. Stay strong and Thank you for sharing the video :D
thank you for sharing, I just found out about sm and realized that i have this infliction, believe It or not I'm getting anxious by just writing this. It sucks to unintentionally shut yourself out from the world but at least I know thats there's people who understand, best of luck
wow. thank you so much for sharing your story. it must be so much easier to keep it all bottled up. I teach acting to kids and make movies with them. I'm producing a web series called Cheerleaders in the Chess Club - and I've made one of the characters in the story a girl with selective mutism, a condition I found out about by teaching acting at various schools. Although my web series is a comedy, I'm trying to present the selective mute character as realistically as possible - so it helps a lot to see someone like yourself tell your story. Check out the web series if you like - episode 1 is out now. you can find it on my UA-cam channel. In future episodes the mute girl becomes a central character. Thanks again!
If youd like more info, id like to tell you a bit of the feelings associated with SM if you'd like. I had it since kinder. Im 21 now but ive social anxiety. Social anxiety comes hand in hand with this imbalance SM. And plz dont feel sorry for me. I dislike it when pple feel sorry for our suffering.
That part where you spoke on 6:40 - 6:50 made me smile so bright! I am really happy and proud of you, I understand what you go and been through with the SM because I had it too (and sometimes still do) when I was age 1 to 9. Overcoming SM is the hardest thing anyone with that anxiety disorder can go through, because you don't know what to expect and that's the scariest part.
Thank you for sharing your story. Very interesting to see so much people with selective mutism in the comments. I have selective mutism my whole life now, it is very difficult to handle it. It is very difficult for others to understand why we are not speaking.
Thank you, Lauren, for sharing your story! I have a 6 year old niece, grand niece actually, who is selectively mute. She’s a very sweet little girl! We want to do what is right for her, without trying to force her into being just like the other kids. I’m guessing from videos I’ve been watching that this will be a long process for her. I will be watching your videos, hoping that by learning more about you that we can understand and help our little one.
These things are not individual things, mental health is all connected to forms of Autism's, love to hear everything you said, I myself had very hard time from birth but never had anyone really catch my problem so I just floated through life with depression and anxieties to this day.
I am currently working on a novel in which one of my characters has this disorder. Thank you for sharing your experiences. It will definitely help me as I am writing.
Lauren, you are one of the bravest person I've ever met! Your sharing the story really inspiring me and hopefully my daughter can learn a thing or two. She has SM and she is 9. I wanted to help her out of it.
Wow, well done to you for making this clip, I don’t normally comment on you tubers but made an account just to say well done. I nolw understand more what my daughter is going through and I realise I also had/have this. I did read somewhere SM was genetic, I also remember my Dad was quiet. Keep up the good work.
My son has selective Mutism and when he goes to school he doesn’t speak. He is fine with family and friends. If he tells me something he will say ‘don’t say this to anyone’. He is only eight and I worry about him a lot. He is year 4 in Primary school and this has been going on since Nursery. The school has been fabulous in supporting him. I love how confident you are. My son has this also. So that is why I find it so confusing. Never put pressure on someone with selective Mutism as it increases their anxiety more.
I have selective mutism also I am 12 in 7th grade teachers yell at me and force me to talk which just makes it worse it has happened so many times that I have been yelled at that I'm used to it. I wish they would understand. People call me def goth and say I can't talk. I have friends they only reason I do is because a girl last year she was in all of my classes and helped me talk she was always there for me. This year we have no classes together. When ever the teacher says get together with a partner I work alone. I wish they would understand
+diamond sparkle Hi! Thanks for commenting! I think its great that you found a good friend. Its a shame that she is not in any of your classes though. I totally understand. When I have to do group work, I always have to work alone too and sometimes it makes me feel worse because I want to be just like everyone else. Have your parents told the school about your selective mutism? I found that once my teachers knew about it and understood what it was, they were more understanding and didn't force me to do anything I wasn't comfortable doing. Hang in there! :)
+diamond sparkle It sounds to me your teachers are not educated about selective mutism...I'm sorry to confirm, working in a school myself, that most teachers don't receive any education on the subject at all. Please have your parents look up information, and even youtube videos (I suggest videos posted by "Confident Children") to share with ALL your teachers and the school's administrators. I'm sorry you have been mistreated by your teachers, but please keep in mind that is it because they are stupid to what SM really is, what it really feels like, and what it really means! Educate them!! Take care of yourself and educate them; don't be a victim, be a teacher; BE a voice even if you can't speak! This is your chance to not only make the school experience better for yourself, but better for other children suffering from SM! Be brave and courageous! And blessings to you!
I think I've had this since I was very little probably a bit before school started. I didnt really notice it until 6th grade, this year. I've started having panic attacks and getting stuck in my head. When I get called on to answer a question I can't speak, I can't breath, my face gets blood red, all I can hear is the heavy breathing in my head. No one really notices. I'm very outgoing when it comes to most people in my grade, but when it comes to teachers and more people in my grade and definitely other grades. I care a lot when it comes to what people think of me. I don't tell anyone how I feel anyways. Teachers don't say anything about it but I think they've started to notice something. I'm always fearing something, anything. Any day I would have to present something I usually try to miss that day :/ My only real friend is over the Internet and thousands of miles away :| I haven't told him about my anxiety or depression but when I talk to him I'm free for a little bit and the stress goes away. I haven't been diagnosed with it (I'm too scared to tell anyone or ask anyone about it) but I'm almost sure I have SM 😞
I have selective mutism as well. In elementary school I was in speech because I didn't talk. I eventually started whispering and now I do a loud whisper in class. I have a lot more friends now, but I still suffer with this..
You are amazing me. My daughter has Selective Mutism is in seventh grade hugh school they don't help neither do the therapist. They said she was doing it to have control she says she help it. They her worst when they told her she has to talk and tried to force her yelled at me and said what are you doing wrong that she is still not talking. She had improvement After three years with a therapist that said don't give her a way to non verbally communicate. And I went against that because three years not talking. I had her use her DS as a communication device. she started talking to five children I left that therapist but she could only whisper to two children in school with this improvement. so we got a team of therapist. Hasboro childrens hospital. they made her worst, they made her have more anxiety she hated it. she was able to whisper to s few kids but only the word bye no adults. She wanted to leave so badly. they said she couldn't unless she did at least that. theb they took her best friend out of her class to separate them on purpose one of the only girls she talked to. She lost her best friend because of school. she now only has one friend dhe whispers toi.
When i was a kid i was physically and emotionally abused for being unable to speak.. I was never diagnosed nor given care because everyone thought i was a liar and spoiled.. I later found out i have selective mutism and aspergers. Everyone still see me as mentally retarded person and extremely weird. Am 23 now and i still cant speak on certain occasions nor i even want to talk anymore.
Hi Lauren, thank you SO much for sharing your story. I currently have a 4-year-old child in my classroom with SM and I soooo very much want him to feel comfortable around me. I know it will take a lot of time and patience until that happens. Thank you for sharing what your "rules" are; it has helped me to understand him a bit more. May I ask why you felt comfortable to speak to the one teacher you did speak to? Outside of having an organized/controlled environment in which to speak, was there something else he/she said or did, as a person, that helped to make you feel more comfortable? I am not EVER going to pressure my student to speak, but I truly want to help ease his anxiety in some way, if only just to help him feel more comfortable and safe around me. I've been doing a lot of research, but I feel the most qualified people to give me advice would be people like you! Thank you, again, for sharing your story, and thanks in advance for whatever advice you can give me. Blessings to you!
+Faeyriel Thank you for your kind words, Faeyriel. They are encouraging to me! I am soooo happy to report that the child I've been trying to comfort and grow a rapport with has spoken in the presence of another teacher AND one of his classmates (only after school, however; not during school hours, and only in the presence of his mother). To me, that is a GIANT step I never actually expected to have happen this year! I yearn to hear his little voice for myself, but I know that what he has accomplished, in such an extremely short amount of time (only 3 months of school!!) is HUGE! I am so thankful he is growing more comfortable and that what we're doing in the classroom is seemingly easing his anxiety. Do you have SM, Faeyriel? Is there anything you'd like to share with me that could possibly further help this 4-year-old boy? Bless you!
+Faeyriel I appreciate you sharing your struggle with me, and I understand, in my own sense, how you feel...I, too, have suffered from social anxiety my entire life. I've developed coping methods that have seriously helped me, and am still seeking methods that'll help my student. He LOVES to build with blocks, and he is actually fantastic at it...his creativity in this area is waaay above the building abilities of your average 4-year-old! I often go over to him and look intently at the structures he builds and talk about them. I share what I specifically love about what he has built, and I've told him many times that me might be an architect someday and make really neat buildings in real life! His face lights up; he has the most expressive and communicative eyes that it's almost (almost) like he is talking back to me. I also had to deal with bullying as a child, and I didn't want this student to be teased for being quiet. One day, when he was out of the room, me and my coworker spoke to the class about why he is quiet...granted, we didn't get into extreme detail (they're only 4), but they understood that sometimes, when you are afraid, you get shy and don't want to talk to people. They understand that the student with SM CAN talk (we told the children that he talks at home with his family all the time), but that it is hard for him to talk at school. They seem to understand, and a handful of them have actually taken him under their wing. They talk to him and ask him to play, even though he doesn't answer back. Bless their little hearts! I only fear that, when he starts 5K kindergarten next year, he'll end up back at square one, and all the progress we've made with him will be for nothing. :/
My son is 23 and still barely talks to anyone. He is so resistant to help and doesn't like to be labelled with a disorder so will only call himself severely shy. I feel so helpless and like a failure as a parent. No one understands. One of my friends at works accused me of making it up. We are no longer friends. She only met him briefly twice and she said he talked to her. Really. Exactly what did he say....oh yeah nothing. He is good at hiding it by smiling and nodding. He does work now with my husband. What can I do to help him?
To help him you can take the blame off of yourself and stop feeling pity for yourself as well, you can also be happy at the fact that if he is content then you should also be content Do not pressure him and just let it be and move on with your own life
I want to just thank you for this. My daughter has Selective Mutism, which was diagnosed at an early age (around 4 yrs old.). She is in HS now and they teachers haven't seen it as a real obstacle for her to speak in class, she probably has bad days. These are days she wants to stay home or go to the Guidance Counselor, who is aware of her selective mutism. While she shows flashes of improvement (Order her own food or speak in a small group) she still regresses, at times. I try to be very patient and understanding and try not to put her in the spotlight (sort of speak). i have difficulty knowing when to step in and speak for her, if confronted in a group of "strangers" or people outside her social circle. What can i do to help her in moments of her desperation, in which she wants to escape the situation. is there any thing i could do to sooth the situation or de-escalate her anxiety?
Ask her if she wants you to speak for her. It is probably better that you dont but I can see where it might seem necessary in certain situations. She needs to feel that she had some control so ask her.
I also have selective mutism. I have never spoken once at school since kindergarten. Im 14 now and i still cant break the silence at school. Ive made alot of progress but i am still so frustrated. I just dont know what to do anymore...
Im not sure if i have selective mutism, i was diagnosed with it when i was a lot younger but i didnt do anything about it. Now im 17 and im still extremely shy,i can talk to people but i find it really difficult and when i do i speak very softly and others battle to understand what im saying..
I have selective mustism and its not a little thing it is my first uear of middle school and it was horable I also had a panic attack but I hid it. Its bad I was diagnosed with it when I was nije and now im 11. And its making me struggle in school
KADAFI EL-KARDAH Hi. Selective Mutism is characterized by an inability to speak (vocal chord paralysis) in at least one setting, while there is perfect speech in other settings ( Completely mute at school but speaks perfectly fine with family members at home). That being said, approximately 90% of people with Selective Mutism also have co-morbid social anxiety. I hope this helps. For more information, you can go to my blog and click "what is SM" which gives a summary of the disorder. My blog is laurenssmjourney.weebly.com. Thanks for the excellent question!
Lauren Whiteway . Thank you for replying. This disorder is also similar to autism. I know autism can affect a person's ability to communicate. This is a hidden disorder like aspergers/high functioning autism, no physical symptoms. Everything is within.
Wow! you are very VERY brave you should be very proud of yourself. You made huge progress. Remember:'Being brave isn't not being afraid. Being brave is being afraid and going ahead and doing what you have to do.' Greetings from Peru .Keep doing what you're doing .It´s awesome! You are awesome!
Thanks So much for sharing this. My daughter has SM and I can see how difficult it is to even consider breaking your rules. It is a disorder that goes undiagnosed and misunderstood. Knowledge is power and I'm thankful and proud of what you're doing for yourself and others.
I have selective mutism as well. I appreciate your braveness in making this video & talking about your experience. I hope things will get better for you soon.
Thank you for sharing your story. I have an 11 year old daughter with Selective Mutism, and your video gave me some comfort in knowing there are more young people working through this.
Lauren, you are so brave to make this video. I know that it had to be so hard to do. But, it is so worth the challenge. My 9 year old granddaughter has SM. She started showing signs of it around 4. When I told her parents that I thought she had the disorder, they weren't ready to accept it. Eventually she was diagnosed. Information in such a personal form is so helpful for those of us who want to support, encourage and lessen the anxiety. Thank you!
That was actually wonderful of you to share. Some people really don't understand these thing and others feel alone with things like anxiety and selective mutism and it pisses me off when I hear people saying things like "why would she be afraid to talk?" I feel like your video helped many people and helped other people to be more open minded. -_-
You are nothing short of amazing. You have come so far and are so brave. You should be incredibly proud of yourself! I can tell you're a great person, and a determined, strong individual. My daughter has SM, and I can only hope she'll find the strength to begin to overcome this as well. All of the best to you! And to everyone else in the comments who is battling SM!
Well done, Lauren! So proud of you. :) I've never thought about having a sort of rulebook or code but it's definitely true. I've gone through so many situations instinctively "knowing" what to do/when to be aware of my fear of speaking. Thanks for putting words to it!
My life is fucked because of SM. It´s terrible.
Same. I'm nearly 18 and still can't talk to anyone :/
Lauren, thank you so much for sharing your story.
You are so strong lauren! Thank you for this. We have a 4 year old daughter w SM. YOU ARE GIVING US HOPE!
I'm 24, almost done with graduate school but still afraid of speaking at university and in specific social settings, plus, I don't remember ever going out of my way to start a conversation.
I can especially relate with the following of certain rules subconsciously.
I think what you are doing is extremely brave and I wish you the best of luck with your goal of overcoming SM and helping other people. Stay strong and Thank you for sharing the video :D
thank you for sharing, I just found out about sm and realized that i have this infliction, believe It or not I'm getting anxious by just writing this. It sucks to unintentionally shut yourself out from the world but at least I know thats there's people who understand, best of luck
wow. thank you so much for sharing your story. it must be so much easier to keep it all bottled up. I teach acting to kids and make movies with them. I'm producing a web series called Cheerleaders in the Chess Club - and I've made one of the characters in the story a girl with selective mutism, a condition I found out about by teaching acting at various schools. Although my web series is a comedy, I'm trying to present the selective mute character as realistically as possible - so it helps a lot to see someone like yourself tell your story. Check out the web series if you like - episode 1 is out now. you can find it on my UA-cam channel. In future episodes the mute girl becomes a central character. Thanks again!
Thank you!
If youd like more info, id like to tell you a bit of the feelings associated with SM if you'd like. I had it since kinder. Im 21 now but ive social anxiety. Social anxiety comes hand in hand with this imbalance SM.
And plz dont feel sorry for me. I dislike it when pple feel sorry for our suffering.
Coincidentally I first learned of selective mutism from watching this UA-cam series . , "Cheerleaders in the Chess Club " .
Cool. that's my show!
Thank you for sharing your experience. My 6 year old has SM and we're working to help her feel more comfortable and confident.
That part where you spoke on 6:40 - 6:50 made me smile so bright! I am really happy and proud of you, I understand what you go and been through with the SM because I had it too (and sometimes still do) when I was age 1 to 9. Overcoming SM is the hardest thing anyone with that anxiety disorder can go through, because you don't know what to expect and that's the scariest part.
I am currently having sm also called more broadly social anxiety and it is aweful. Thanks for sharing your story...
Thank you for sharing your story. Very interesting to see so much people with selective mutism in the comments. I have selective mutism my whole life now, it is very difficult to handle it. It is very difficult for others to understand why we are not speaking.
Thank you, Lauren, for sharing your story! I have a 6 year old niece, grand niece actually, who is selectively mute. She’s a very sweet little girl! We want to do what is right for her, without trying to force her into being just like the other kids. I’m guessing from videos I’ve been watching that this will be a long process for her. I will be watching your videos, hoping that by learning more about you that we can understand and help our little one.
These things are not individual things, mental health is all connected to forms of Autism's, love to hear everything you said, I myself had very hard time from birth but never had anyone really catch my problem so I just floated through life with depression and anxieties to this day.
I am currently working on a novel in which one of my characters has this disorder. Thank you for sharing your experiences. It will definitely help me as I am writing.
What is the book called? :)
its been 5 years whats the book called i want to read it
Lauren, you are one of the bravest person I've ever met! Your sharing the story really inspiring me and hopefully my daughter can learn a thing or two. She has SM and she is 9. I wanted to help her out of it.
I'm happy you finally got to speak out more now. You have a lovely voice, you shouldn't hide it. :)
I have selective mutism and I really appreciate this video
This is a revelation. Thank you for this.
-Your Fellow SM
Wow, well done to you for making this clip, I don’t normally comment on you tubers but made an account just to say well done. I nolw understand more what my daughter is going through and I realise I also had/have this. I did read somewhere SM was genetic, I also remember my Dad was quiet. Keep up the good work.
I also have sm and I never once spoke to a teacher but I'm one of the most popular girls in my class and have a lot of friends
My son has selective Mutism and when he goes to school he doesn’t speak. He is fine with family and friends. If he tells me something he will say ‘don’t say this to anyone’. He is only eight and I worry about him a lot. He is year 4 in Primary school and this has been going on since Nursery. The school has been fabulous in supporting him. I love how confident you are. My son has this also. So that is why I find it so confusing. Never put pressure on someone with selective Mutism as it increases their anxiety more.
I have selective mutism also I am 12 in 7th grade teachers yell at me and force me to talk which just makes it worse it has happened so many times that I have been yelled at that I'm used to it. I wish they would understand. People call me def goth and say I can't talk. I have friends they only reason I do is because a girl last year she was in all of my classes and helped me talk she was always there for me. This year we have no classes together. When ever the teacher says get together with a partner I work alone. I wish they would understand
+diamond sparkle Hi! Thanks for commenting! I think its great that you found a good friend. Its a shame that she is not in any of your classes though. I totally understand. When I have to do group work, I always have to work alone too and sometimes it makes me feel worse because I want to be just like everyone else. Have your parents told the school about your selective mutism? I found that once my teachers knew about it and understood what it was, they were more understanding and didn't force me to do anything I wasn't comfortable doing. Hang in there! :)
+diamond sparkle It sounds to me your teachers are not educated about selective mutism...I'm sorry to confirm, working in a school myself, that most teachers don't receive any education on the subject at all. Please have your parents look up information, and even youtube videos (I suggest videos posted by "Confident Children") to share with ALL your teachers and the school's administrators. I'm sorry you have been mistreated by your teachers, but please keep in mind that is it because they are stupid to what SM really is, what it really feels like, and what it really means! Educate them!! Take care of yourself and educate them; don't be a victim, be a teacher; BE a voice even if you can't speak! This is your chance to not only make the school experience better for yourself, but better for other children suffering from SM! Be brave and courageous! And blessings to you!
My heart broke when watching your story. I would say, change a school. Are you better now, Diamond?
I'm like the same exact thing. People always ask me why I never talk
me too
loved the video you took the words right out of my mouth
I think I've had this since I was very little probably a bit before school started. I didnt really notice it until 6th grade, this year. I've started having panic attacks and getting stuck in my head. When I get called on to answer a question I can't speak, I can't breath, my face gets blood red, all I can hear is the heavy breathing in my head. No one really notices. I'm very outgoing when it comes to most people in my grade, but when it comes to teachers and more people in my grade and definitely other grades. I care a lot when it comes to what people think of me. I don't tell anyone how I feel anyways. Teachers don't say anything about it but I think they've started to notice something. I'm always fearing something, anything. Any day I would have to present something I usually try to miss that day :/ My only real friend is over the Internet and thousands of miles away :| I haven't told him about my anxiety or depression but when I talk to him I'm free for a little bit and the stress goes away. I haven't been diagnosed with it (I'm too scared to tell anyone or ask anyone about it) but I'm almost sure I have SM 😞
Listening to music and writing really helps me though :)
I have selective mutism as well. In elementary school I was in speech because I didn't talk. I eventually started whispering and now I do a loud whisper in class. I have a lot more friends now, but I still suffer with this..
You are amazing me. My daughter has Selective Mutism is in seventh grade hugh school they don't help neither do the therapist. They said she was doing it to have control she says she help it. They her worst when they told her she has to talk and tried to force her yelled at me and said what are you doing wrong that she is still not talking. She had improvement After three years with a therapist that said don't give her a way to non verbally communicate. And I went against that because three years not talking. I had her use her DS as a communication device. she started talking to five children I left that therapist but she could only whisper to two children in school with this improvement. so we got a team of therapist. Hasboro childrens hospital. they made her worst, they made her have more anxiety she hated it. she was able to whisper to s few kids but only the word bye no adults. She wanted to leave so badly. they said she couldn't unless she did at least that. theb they took her best friend out of her class to separate them on purpose one of the only girls she talked to. She lost her best friend because of school. she now only has one friend dhe whispers toi.
It's really like me out there that I can relate to with my situation 😊
Thanks for this ❤
wow. You are amazing charming girl.I was touched.
When i was a kid i was physically and emotionally abused for being unable to speak.. I was never diagnosed nor given care because everyone thought i was a liar and spoiled.. I later found out i have selective mutism and aspergers. Everyone still see me as mentally retarded person and extremely weird. Am 23 now and i still cant speak on certain occasions nor i even want to talk anymore.
Hi Lauren, thank you SO much for sharing your story. I currently have a 4-year-old child in my classroom with SM and I soooo very much want him to feel comfortable around me. I know it will take a lot of time and patience until that happens. Thank you for sharing what your "rules" are; it has helped me to understand him a bit more. May I ask why you felt comfortable to speak to the one teacher you did speak to? Outside of having an organized/controlled environment in which to speak, was there something else he/she said or did, as a person, that helped to make you feel more comfortable? I am not EVER going to pressure my student to speak, but I truly want to help ease his anxiety in some way, if only just to help him feel more comfortable and safe around me. I've been doing a lot of research, but I feel the most qualified people to give me advice would be people like you! Thank you, again, for sharing your story, and thanks in advance for whatever advice you can give me. Blessings to you!
+Faeyriel Thank you for your kind words, Faeyriel. They are encouraging to me! I am soooo happy to report that the child I've been trying to comfort and grow a rapport with has spoken in the presence of another teacher AND one of his classmates (only after school, however; not during school hours, and only in the presence of his mother). To me, that is a GIANT step I never actually expected to have happen this year! I yearn to hear his little voice for myself, but I know that what he has accomplished, in such an extremely short amount of time (only 3 months of school!!) is HUGE! I am so thankful he is growing more comfortable and that what we're doing in the classroom is seemingly easing his anxiety. Do you have SM, Faeyriel? Is there anything you'd like to share with me that could possibly further help this 4-year-old boy? Bless you!
+Faeyriel I appreciate you sharing your struggle with me, and I understand, in my own sense, how you feel...I, too, have suffered from social anxiety my entire life. I've developed coping methods that have seriously helped me, and am still seeking methods that'll help my student. He LOVES to build with blocks, and he is actually fantastic at it...his creativity in this area is waaay above the building abilities of your average 4-year-old! I often go over to him and look intently at the structures he builds and talk about them. I share what I specifically love about what he has built, and I've told him many times that me might be an architect someday and make really neat buildings in real life! His face lights up; he has the most expressive and communicative eyes that it's almost (almost) like he is talking back to me. I also had to deal with bullying as a child, and I didn't want this student to be teased for being quiet. One day, when he was out of the room, me and my coworker spoke to the class about why he is quiet...granted, we didn't get into extreme detail (they're only 4), but they understood that sometimes, when you are afraid, you get shy and don't want to talk to people. They understand that the student with SM CAN talk (we told the children that he talks at home with his family all the time), but that it is hard for him to talk at school. They seem to understand, and a handful of them have actually taken him under their wing. They talk to him and ask him to play, even though he doesn't answer back. Bless their little hearts! I only fear that, when he starts 5K kindergarten next year, he'll end up back at square one, and all the progress we've made with him will be for nothing. :/
My son is 23 and still barely talks to anyone. He is so resistant to help and doesn't like to be labelled with a disorder so will only call himself severely shy. I feel so helpless and like a failure as a parent. No one understands. One of my friends at works accused me of making it up. We are no longer friends. She only met him briefly twice and she said he talked to her. Really. Exactly what did he say....oh yeah nothing. He is good at hiding it by smiling and nodding. He does work now with my husband. What can I do to help him?
To help him you can take the blame off of yourself and stop feeling pity for yourself as well, you can also be happy at the fact that if he is content then you should also be content
Do not pressure him and just let it be and move on with your own life
I was diagnosed at age 3 and I'm nearly 18 and still can't talk at all.
boob the builder Your UA-cam name though LOL. But all jokes aside I hope it gets better
Have you sought any type of help or tried to combat this on your own? They've come far over the years in treating this problem.
I have selective mutism and I was diagnosed when I was 12 and it's been happening all my life and is still happening. I'm 13 now.
How have you been? Has it been gettin better or worse?
I want to just thank you for this. My daughter has Selective Mutism, which was diagnosed at an early age (around 4 yrs old.). She is in HS now and they teachers haven't seen it as a real obstacle for her to speak in class, she probably has bad days. These are days she wants to stay home or go to the Guidance Counselor, who is aware of her selective mutism. While she shows flashes of improvement (Order her own food or speak in a small group) she still regresses, at times. I try to be very patient and understanding and try not to put her in the spotlight (sort of speak). i have difficulty knowing when to step in and speak for her, if confronted in a group of "strangers" or people outside her social circle.
What can i do to help her in moments of her desperation, in which she wants to escape the situation. is there any thing i could do to sooth the situation or de-escalate her anxiety?
Ask her if she wants you to speak for her. It is probably better that you dont but I can see where it might seem necessary in certain situations. She needs to feel that she had some control so ask her.
I also have selective mutism. I have never spoken once at school since kindergarten. Im 14 now and i still cant break the silence at school. Ive made alot of progress but i am still so frustrated. I just dont know what to do anymore...
You should create an account on Experience Project& we can talk through there...
💙💙💙💙💙💙
How can you get selective mutism exactly?
Im not sure if i have selective mutism, i was diagnosed with it when i was a lot younger but i didnt do anything about it. Now im 17 and im still extremely shy,i can talk to people but i find it really difficult and when i do i speak very softly and others battle to understand what im saying..
I have selective mustism and its not a little thing it is my first uear of middle school and it was horable I also had a panic attack but I hid it. Its bad I was diagnosed with it when I was nije and now im 11. And its making me struggle in school
How are you now?
Outside of school she can talk outloud to friends. but she has not made any progress in school only regressed.
My daughter said she can not help it she can't talk.
NEVER HEARD OF THIS DISORDER BEFORE THIS VIDEO.
HOW IS THIS DIFFERENT FROM SOCIAL ANXIETY???
KADAFI EL-KARDAH Hi. Selective Mutism is characterized by an inability to speak (vocal chord paralysis) in at least one setting, while there is perfect speech in other settings ( Completely mute at school but speaks perfectly fine with family members at home). That being said, approximately 90% of people with Selective Mutism also have co-morbid social anxiety. I hope this helps. For more information, you can go to my blog and click "what is SM" which gives a summary of the disorder. My blog is laurenssmjourney.weebly.com. Thanks for the excellent question!
Lauren Whiteway . Thank you for replying. This disorder is also similar to autism. I know autism can affect a person's ability to communicate. This is a hidden disorder like aspergers/high functioning autism, no physical symptoms. Everything is within.
KADAFI EL-KARDAH Yes, exactly!