Mother of Chaos how do you know you come from a small town when you laugh you're behind. At the chicken joke horrible week thanks for the laugh I needed it
I actually say this to the little kids in my classes when we go walking: "Ketchup! Ketchup and fries!" The silly phrase works better than just asking them to hurry up.
@@raychang8648 It's really cute seeing them get the joke and race to fulfil the punchline. Audience participation! Not all kids get it though... but as long as they mimic the group reaction, that's fine too.
"I think I was just making noises one day and I said 'Hey, that sounds like a pig! This is a pig impression.'" "How do you *happen* to do that?" "I don't know! I can't even explain how I do it." "I can...I can almost visualize how you're doing it, and I hate it." ...I wanted to make a clever comment about this exchange, but I genuinely don't have the words for it. I am speechless at how perfect that is.
You know it is going to be a good video, when Mike is laughing before the intro is over. By the way, Mike, you REALLY need to to pay those writers even more or let them watch something besides basic cable.
Mike gets an astronaut chair. Tristan gets a walmart special. Alright. Cool. Hey Tristan, it's illegal to be fired for unionizing the workplace. You deserve to sit in comfort as well. Plus a new episode idea. 25 ways to strike and halt production in the workplace. lmao Kidding! But seriously, can we get Tristan a better chair? Can we buy one and "donate" it perhaps? We may even be able to have Amazon ship it directly to the studio/bedroom. lol Loving this show guys! I know I leave a lot of comments which do not reflect that fact. But wishing the best for all involved. Oh, and a better chair for Tristan. lol
I did not know one farmer joke until I saw this video. I found myself trying to make pig noises but ended up burping instead. Triston has a talent there. Lol
Those are actually riddles, so here's a farmer joke: A duckhunter was in the woods and having a really unlucky day. Just about the time he was going to call it quits, he spies a duck high above him and shoots it. It fell on a farmer's land. By the time the hunter tracked it down, the farmer was standing beside the dead duck holding his shotgun. The farmer hollered, "Get off my land!" The hunter replied, "Okay, old-timer, calm down. I'll just get my duck and leave." "Your duck?" the farmer retorted. "I don't see any names on it. And it's on my land. So it's my duck." "Now, wait a minute, mister," the hunter exclaimed, "I shot him. It's the only duck I've seen all day. I want that duck." The farmer scratched his chin and said, "Tell you what. We're gonna play a game. I'm gonna kick you in the zipper just as hard as I can. Then you kick me in the zipper just as hard as you can. We're gonna take turns doin' that until only one of us is left standin'. Whoever that is gets to keep the duck." The hunter sizes the old man up and thinks to himself, "He's bluffing. He's gotta be at least seventy-years old. He probably can't even lift his leg, much less kick me. He just wants me to walk away without my duck." The hunter chuckles, "Okay, old timer, take your best shot." The hunter spreads his feet apart and closes his eyes... WHAM!!! "#@%&*!!!" the hunter exclaims while he rolls on the ground in agony. He gets angry as the farmer just stands there cackling at him. Finally the hunter staggers to his feet. Balling up all his anger in his gut, he glares at the farmer. "Now, it's my turn." The farmer waves him off. "Oh, forget it. Take it. I never cared for duckmeat."
Here I go again with my own answers. Let's see how many I get. 25 - Mooove it or you'll be late for school. 24 - Stewsday. 23 - Crops. 22 - He wanted to pull up roasted vegetables. 21 - He had no money troubles. 20 - Because all the corn ears will be listening. 19 - He was a boar. 18 - Anything you like... but QUIETLY. 17 - Anything that feels cocky. 16 - A hot dog down a hole. 15 - Yeah. Isn't it a Beam-movie? 14 - You mean 'I'm a Celebrity, get me out of this seventieth floor hotel room in the middle of a city?' 13 - He wanted to use Sow-er gel instead. (That's Sow as in female pig, not as in needlework). 12 - Colonel Sanders had made chickens extinct. 11 - So they can work more on their calves. 10 - All the reasons he deserves a nice pat on the head. 9 - They never get ill. 8 - In a sty, like everyone else? 7 - Cock and Bull. 6 - Hospitalised. 5 - They found out they weren't actually berries at all, poor things! 4 - Co-MOO-dians. 3 - Auntie Maggie's Remedy (inside it's nosebag)... 2 - It saw the salad dressing. OLD CHESTNUT. NEXT! 1 - An Ice-cream maker.
- What do you call a cow with no calf? - Decaffeinated
Cows have their own accents depending on where they are, that's funny! 🤣
And yet, actually true.
Them:What does a farmer need to make crop circles
Me:Crops
Me too. 😄
You cant tell secrets on a farm because potatoes have eyes corn has ears and the beanstalk
Everything is physics, baby. Thanks I needed this. "Greeeen acres is the place for me." I love it when you guys are together. My favorite comedy duo.
Every single one of those jokes was so bad it wasn't a joke. What makes this funny is you 2 on camera together. Keep it up :)
How do you fix a broken pumpkin?? A pumpkin patch !!!!
U suck.
If you leave your horses out too long they get pasture-ized. When you bring them in they stable-ize
Johnathan Tenfingers 😂 I love this
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To show the possum that it could be done.
@ajs1031 When the truck hit him/her, he/she went shmuck!
Mother of Chaos how do you know you come from a small town when you laugh you're behind. At the chicken joke horrible week thanks for the laugh I needed it
@@kimberlyleatherwood8120 Uhh, okay. 🙃
Only Southerners get this. LOL
@@steveramey8654 Yup. 😆
Mama, Papa, and baby tomato were crossing the road. Baby tomato started to get too far behind them so the parents said "ketchup".
I actually say this to the little kids in my classes when we go walking: "Ketchup! Ketchup and fries!" The silly phrase works better than just asking them to hurry up.
@@maggpiprime954 I never thought to do that. I'll try it the next time I teach little ones.
@@raychang8648 It's really cute seeing them get the joke and race to fulfil the punchline. Audience participation!
Not all kids get it though... but as long as they mimic the group reaction, that's fine too.
Pulp fiction
Yay! Both Mike and Tristan!!
"I think I was just making noises one day and I said 'Hey, that sounds like a pig! This is a pig impression.'"
"How do you *happen* to do that?"
"I don't know! I can't even explain how I do it."
"I can...I can almost visualize how you're doing it, and I hate it."
...I wanted to make a clever comment about this exchange, but I genuinely don't have the words for it. I am speechless at how perfect that is.
Just what I needed to wake up to. Thank you guys for all you do.
Two cows in a field one says mooo, the other says I new you were going to say that.
Did you hear about the old man who started country living?
He bought the farm.
What do you call a cow after she has given birth? Decaffeinated
The interaction between you two between the jokes is funnier than the jokes themselves
YAY!!! Welcome back Mr Tristan 👍🏻😁🤪👻😜 OH!!! you're hogging all the best ones though, so we're sure you won't be boar-ed!
You know it is going to be a good video, when Mike is laughing before the intro is over.
By the way, Mike, you REALLY need to to pay those writers even more or let them watch something besides basic cable.
Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl to the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
about time Tristan well back with mike awsome videos boys
Mike and Tristan's laughing at the stupid jokes is the best part.
My favorite was the pig sounds. He is amazing.
I listen to stand up comedy on my phone everyday at work and the jokes on this list beat all of them. Always looking forward to them. Thank you.
Ok, those jokes were TERRIBLE, but the delivery and laughter had me in stitches 🤣 thanks guys.
What do kermit the frog's fingers smell like?
Bacon!
The noise Tristian made at 6:33 what was that?? So cute tho. Love the jokes.
Have you heard the one about the farmer who's wife left him for a tractor salesman???
She left a John Deere letter
Cows lactose? Now that's funny!
Hate to be picky, but they lactate.
@@christelheadington1136 but that has nothing to do with hooves.
Good morning, I needed this, this morning have to see the Doctor
Hope all is well.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Why are you questioning the chicken's motives?
My fave is a Nevada bumper sticker: So many sheep, so little time!
9:07 May I join your gang? Also, do farmers put manure on their strawberries?
Most prefer cream and sugar.
Fun fact List25:
Potato's grow under ground. 🚜 🏞
No way I'd ever unsubscribe.
Best free entertainment on UA-cam.
I shall never look @ Corn🌽 & 🥔Potatoes again the same, thank you very much! "🥔Eyes & 🌽Ears"
Mike should do a list on Full Metal Alchemist/FMA Brotherhood. :)
I love your pig sound affect Tristain!!
I laughed more at their reactions than at that actual jokes
Mike gets an astronaut chair. Tristan gets a walmart special.
Alright. Cool.
Hey Tristan, it's illegal to be fired for unionizing the workplace. You deserve to sit in comfort as well.
Plus a new episode idea.
25 ways to strike and halt production in the workplace. lmao
Kidding!
But seriously, can we get Tristan a better chair?
Can we buy one and "donate" it perhaps? We may even be able to have Amazon ship it directly to the studio/bedroom. lol
Loving this show guys!
I know I leave a lot of comments which do not reflect that fact. But wishing the best for all involved. Oh, and a better chair for Tristan.
lol
LOL "SpudDay" 😂
I do that noise that Tristan makes to "scratch" my throat. Never mind......... but it works.
Works for an itchy inner ear too 😉
Why did the cow feel the need to help out the other animals?
It behooved it
It behooved him.
I love the pig noises Tristan, I try and try but can't get the noise right.
You are the cutest couple in the world and it's nice to see you in the real world. None of that sterile, cookie cutter studio mess.
"Hoofs' is indeed an alternative pronunciation of the plural, and in some cases even preferred.
Hey guys - fun fact.
On the 7th October 1832, in Hungary, the world witnessed the first ever edition of Liszt 25.
What did pastor salad say in his sermon? "Lettuce rejoice"
What do you call a cow with no legs????? Ground beef!
I love Tristan over thinking the jokes.
Love this channel ❤️ the videos with Mike and Tristan are my favorite
Mary had a little pig one day it dropped down dead, now it goes to school with her between two bits of bread.
Hello Mike.
Hi cutie Tristan.
Joke #1 should be; What do you call an Arctic cow? A milk shake.
Good morning! best way to start the day
Too soon Mike!! Too soon!!!! 😭
Why did the chicken cross halfway across the road?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef! 😂
You guys slay me! I love you ! Awesome! Educational, scientific, Historical, and Hysterical!
Tsk. Eskimoo is an offensive word. Everyone knows the correct name is Imooit.
Edit: Typo
Good one
This video was great y'all keep it up 👍👍
Nice list you guys 🙂👍👨🌾👩🌾🐮🐓
FULLMETAL!!!!
I did not know one farmer joke until I saw this video. I found myself trying to make pig noises but ended up burping instead. Triston has a talent there. Lol
I. Love you both. Always make me laugh, but these sound like jokes from Alexa. Haha.
Why do I call Feb 2 "sausage day"? Because it's ground hog day.
I really like these joke's I am going to try them on my husband.
Thanks for the like. Also I did the jocks on my husband he got some of them.
Why did the farmer get a Nobel Prize? Because he was outstanding in his field.
You two are funnier than the jokes!🤣🤣🤣
The jokes were terrible, you guys were great!
Sorry, Tristan, but your banter will keep me subscribed.
Q: What do yo get when you cross a sheep with a kangaroo
A: A wooly jumper
2 "Jokes" in and YOU guys are funnier than the one liners..I'm going on to the next list of 25, sorry
#22 mashed potatos it was cute just like tristan and mike great video God bless you all at list 25😀
By far my fave video! 😜
why did the farmer cross the road?
sorry, i didn't have time to ask him
This is better than the jokes the guys had.
@@juneholbrook9452 :P HAHAAHA!! THANKS! i just made it up when i came here :P
Thank you Mike and Tristan
Why does Tristan cross the road?
To get away from bad jokes....
That pig 🐷 noise tho 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Why do German cows wear bells around their necks?
Because they don't have horns
Hi from Germany
Grace Hofferbert
Why do cows wear bells?
Their horns don’t work
Yes, I know this is the way it usually goes... But cows don't have horns, so I changed it a bit to make sense to Americans. But, you are correct.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef
What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Lean beef
What do you call a cow with epilepsy? Beef jerky
Those are actually riddles, so here's a farmer joke:
A duckhunter was in the woods and having a really unlucky day. Just about the time he was going to call it quits, he spies a duck high above him and shoots it. It fell on a farmer's land. By the time the hunter tracked it down, the farmer was standing beside the dead duck holding his shotgun. The farmer hollered, "Get off my land!" The hunter replied, "Okay, old-timer, calm down. I'll just get my duck and leave." "Your duck?" the farmer retorted. "I don't see any names on it. And it's on my land. So it's my duck." "Now, wait a minute, mister," the hunter exclaimed, "I shot him. It's the only duck I've seen all day. I want that duck." The farmer scratched his chin and said, "Tell you what. We're gonna play a game. I'm gonna kick you in the zipper just as hard as I can. Then you kick me in the zipper just as hard as you can. We're gonna take turns doin' that until only one of us is left standin'. Whoever that is gets to keep the duck." The hunter sizes the old man up and thinks to himself, "He's bluffing. He's gotta be at least seventy-years old. He probably can't even lift his leg, much less kick me. He just wants me to walk away without my duck." The hunter chuckles, "Okay, old timer, take your best shot." The hunter spreads his feet apart and closes his eyes... WHAM!!! "#@%&*!!!" the hunter exclaims while he rolls on the ground in agony. He gets angry as the farmer just stands there cackling at him. Finally the hunter staggers to his feet. Balling up all his anger in his gut, he glares at the farmer. "Now, it's my turn." The farmer waves him off. "Oh, forget it. Take it. I never cared for duckmeat."
Why couldn't the chicken fly?
She didn't have a pilot's license!
What did the Mommy corn tell her kids at bathtime?
Don't forget to wash behind your ears.
🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽
A farmer is always out standing in his field.
Right on the nose with that Last Airbender trailer.
List 25 was much better from the previous set up in front of the screen!!!
Working on it.
~Tristan
Is Tristan single lol hahah he’s so awesome I got a wee crush
Mr. Mike and Mr. Tristan. I would have called an Arctic cow a "milk-shake". =D
I was thinking ice cream🤷♀️😂
was following a tractor the other day turns out it was a majic tractor ...it turned in to a field
I can make the pig noise too, and I learned how the exact same way. 🐷
Here I go again with my own answers. Let's see how many I get.
25 - Mooove it or you'll be late for school.
24 - Stewsday.
23 - Crops.
22 - He wanted to pull up roasted vegetables.
21 - He had no money troubles.
20 - Because all the corn ears will be listening.
19 - He was a boar.
18 - Anything you like... but QUIETLY.
17 - Anything that feels cocky.
16 - A hot dog down a hole.
15 - Yeah. Isn't it a Beam-movie?
14 - You mean 'I'm a Celebrity, get me out of this seventieth floor hotel room in the middle of a city?'
13 - He wanted to use Sow-er gel instead. (That's Sow as in female pig, not as in needlework).
12 - Colonel Sanders had made chickens extinct.
11 - So they can work more on their calves.
10 - All the reasons he deserves a nice pat on the head.
9 - They never get ill.
8 - In a sty, like everyone else?
7 - Cock and Bull.
6 - Hospitalised.
5 - They found out they weren't actually berries at all, poor things!
4 - Co-MOO-dians.
3 - Auntie Maggie's Remedy (inside it's nosebag)...
2 - It saw the salad dressing. OLD CHESTNUT. NEXT!
1 - An Ice-cream maker.
LMAO I made sure there were no kids around, because these are nothing like the farmer jokes I used to hear.
Tristan, just say whatever beHOOVES you, lol
Is Tristan related to Sheldon Cooper?
With the advanced medicine we have today Tristan can get a funny bone transplant.
#1 a cross between a owl and a billy goat? A hootnnanny
These are so corny🌽😄
Hootenanny! Tristan, you must not have seen Tex Avery's "Farm of Tomorrow." If you had you would never have missed that joke.
This is gold!
Smile just because mike is so silly lol
FMA:Brotherhood joke. Too soon Mike, too soon
You guys should do Halloween jokes.