"Deadpan realtor glossing over all kinds of oddities and horrors while showing his clients around probably-not-haunted houses" is a character I need to see in a D&D campaign.
*"...and here is a lovely dungeon for sale. The previous owner died tragically when he rolled a natural 1 for acrobatics and fell facefirst into this pit of spikes. Don't worry, we had the spikes disinfected"*
@@EvanPeterson151 "This is the... green room. We call it that because the walls are painted green. Its freshly painted because we repurposed the Gelatinous Cube in the ceiling to constantly produce green paint."
@@shadcroly "Oh, now onto the next room. In here we have a cavern with an enterance that opens up to the ocean. This is where the previous owner kept thier pet hydras. On an unrelated side note, don't go too close to the bridge that crosses over the river to get the kitchen..."
When Jello said that he floats so he doesn’t have to use the stairs, I started imagining his character as a ghost realtor who is cursed to walk this earth and not move on until he successfully sells one of these houses.
I like how in the insane nickelodeon-sensory overload house, everyone just failed to notice the chandelier made of dozens of barbies fucking stapled together
Genuinely, the mesh of clinical hospital white walls & floor with fake wood paneling + flooring in that house is the ugliest God damn thing I have ever seen I'm my entire life.
There are four genres of houses: - Dilapidated biohazard (enter at your own risk) - Boring rich person thought cost equals quality (it does not) - WHAT IS THIS? NO REALLY, GOOD GOD IN HEAVEN, WHAT AM I LOOKING AT?!?! - A decent house, actually
I think the worst thing about the minimalist torture house is the multitude of windows showing you the beautiful greenery you're forever separated from
Seeing the fucked up incomprehensible sensory overload house has altered my brain chemistry irreparably. I *need* to live there. Edit: looked at the listing and they’ve completely changed the interior. It looks normal now. This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me.
i love how the eldritch realtor's breaking point wasn't the two-room house in the middle of nowhere, or the portals, or the horrible nickelodeon house, but the rich people underground
The underground house was just abysmal though!! Like, if you want a hidden, private party house with a built in stripper pole, don’t make the kitchen and bedrooms look like a depressing upper class suburbian nightmare!! Like eww, who would want to go there to party and bang when all the beds have wooden pillers you can hurt yourself on?? At least make it fun! The decor was dreadful!
@@table2.0 To be a *bit* fair, it was built in wake of the Cuban Missile Crisis-and currently the group of people (can’t remember who) that has it kept what it looked like then for preservation sake, and had the current price like that to reflect how much it would cost to rebuild the entire thing. Kinda interesting looking through the history of why it was made since there were other “underground bomb shelters in people’s homes” that were made at that time as well (though maybe not as extreme as the one we saw) because of that moment in history
22:33 "Let's go inside- just kidding." "Where does the bridge go?!?" "Let's find out- just kidding." I literally slapped my knee laughing. This is a certified knee-slapper.
The room at 3:05:05 Very isolated with nothing to focus on except the table in front of you. Six chairs. Tile walls that you could probably just clean with a waterhose. I'm not saying its a Russian Roulette room, but it looks, walks, and quacks like one.
Please god someone has to animate some of these scenes, especially ones where Jello breaks character but in the animation it's The Realtor Entity actually being thrown off their game.
Except for the one picture halfway through where they are uncomfortably absent. It's like, what's worse than spiders? A sudden and mysterious absence of spiders when you know there should be spiders.
I love the cryptid realtor from the first half of the stream before he had a breakdown at the Vegas house. My additional headcannons for eldritch cryptid realtor- -He is wearing hooded robes that fully cover their face and hands like a cartoon cultist. -there is no added percent for his services, he's paid in something, but it is unknown what. He does not elaborate further. -his age is unknown and changes everytime he is asked. Current answers include 2, 85, 6,287, "I remember the stars were being born", 69, and "moving on" -all houses he sells are not of this world, where they are from he does not say. The only person told just heard the sound of buzzing. -his name was spoken only once, and all those who hear it did not hear words, but instead saw the second most likely thing to make them uncomfortable within their mind. -he has a cat he loves very much. It is a normal cat and very fluffy and sweet. It's name is nibbles
My additional headcannons are: - he also still wears a suit jacket and tie over his robe, but the color and pattern of the tie changes whenever you look back at it. - He will rarely be seen with a clipboard, but he never has a writing utensil and the contents of it are never seen.
the opening to "the laser tag" house had me wheezing. "alright lets head inside! oohh..." with the view of the liminal/abandoned mall and the hole in the center just the voice sold the entire feeling of it. god jello you nearly killed me with that thank you.
So the pit is for building and repairing cars. (Instead of lift, just remove floor). It's like the exact dimensions as the one in Jalopy, and there were like garage shelves in the room. It took me a while to recognize it because they painted it BLOOD RED!
I watched this stream in it's entirety while stranded at my high school because the highway closed due to a truck carrying hazardous chemicals crashed. Anyway very good many fun times were had.
If he, Yam, and Jay ever decided to just spin this off into another channel of just these kinds of videos, I would 100% watch them all. Multiple times. I'm pretty sure I've contributed something like 12-20 views on both of the installments he's made already because they're so cathartic to listen to while trying to relax.
@@Xavier24781 That's a fair point, I feel like "preferred pronouns" is a pretty standardised term nowadays, even amongst trans people (source: I am also trans, spend a lot of time with other trans people) But, that being said, I agree with the sentiment, and there's no reason for me to say "preferred" in the original comment, so I'll fix that :)
Holy shit I'm so glad to hear it's not that uncommon to have that annoying ''i need to shit but all the toilets are in an open room full of people'' dream. I was worried that I was weird for having it so I'm glad it turns out I'm not alone
The toilets in my dream are usually in stalls, but the walls barely reach your knees. Then, when I complain about lack of privacy, please just say "what? There are walls!" and shrug
list of houses >game of thrones/castle house 1:46 >>minecraft/gamer house 4:21 >>wet moldy house 12:38 >>lethal triangle house 21:38 >>crystal people/wall house 30:05 >medieval/weird light bulb house 41:35 >price unknown 48:07 >boat house 50:34 >air-conditioner-in-the-wall house 53:14 >broken ceiling house 54:55 >>no-privacy/snowy house 57:52 >giant hole/laser tag house 1:06:30 >>house of insanity 1:12:10 >portal house 1:21:39 >underground house 1:24:30 >blank slate house 1:30:31 >>american house 1:36:55 >>radio tower/failed dreams house 1:48:35 >>repurposed church house 2:03:09 >>piano house 2:20:37 that's as far as I'll go
Here's some more time stamps of them: Mound in the floor house 2:31:43 Haunted house 2:35:26 goth/monochrome house 2:37:50 LA green room house 2:42:16 aaaand i lost interest sorry lol
boring rich white/square houses arc 2:45:02 first rich house to stand out just from having different arches 2:53:00 boring rich white/square houses arc but now in Canada 2:57:15 search away from beach boring rich white looks at crazy art mountain people arc 3:00:40 "single family residence" 43bd 17ba 3:01:00 crazy fun art house 3:02:13 Real Art house that not all square with more statues people 3:04:50 Farm arc 3:06:40 lake side ski resort 3:07:46 cozy house in Canada 3:08:55 surprise at 3:09:25 nice house asking for to much 3:10:09 *try to get away from water *looks at a river house ranch 3:11:15 nice house in the middle of nowhere 3:12:20 wooden cabin that's also a bison farm 3:12:46 highest price in Chicago arc 3:15:06 The End
I love how this took 3 comments to get through like an expidition journal where each entry goes just a little further before the rations run out and they need to turn back
I still can't get over the ice woman and her mythical fake 2d house Edit: I was not prepared for the neon hell house, I was a fool to assume I had seen the worst of it
The thing about the Gamer House, and the Wet House. Is that the Gamer House starts of as psychological damage then transitions into physical damage at night. Whereas the Wet House starts of as physical damage which turns to phychological damage at night. So it's a lose-lose.
Them being thrown by each new room in the Nickelodeon house had me on the floor. E: I'm watching this for the fourth time and still cracking up. Say what you want about the Nickelodeon house, whoever did that decor had a vision. They built their own crazy world in there.
1:06:45 at this point of watching the vod, I made the mistake of deciding to take my meds, and ended up gagging and choking at the trio’s reaction 4 seconds later
The fur circus house is unlocking some vague memory of being taken to my mom's friend's house at age 7, not because it would have actually looked like that but because it looks exactly like the sweat-inducing nightmares I would've gotten the night after
1:08:13 ok so, my dad used to work at an architecture firm, and every month or so they'd get people in to do some kind of presentation, and around half the time they'd bring sample carpet squares. Those are all sample carpet squares. The patterns do not line up correctly.
The house at about 58:00 looks like it might've been converted from an old school, hospital, or something similar. You rarely see new buildings with that upper window above the door, which is a holdover from days without A/C, since it allowed for air flow. It's probably also the reason for the wide spaces, the window to nowhere (air flow or maybe was once used as a dumb waiter) and the wood stove.
This was so fun! I highly suggest looking into 1800 Blue Lick road, its a classic of the McMansion community, an absolute maximalist horder type nightmare that was once a church, and now holds weird 90's merchandise with a layout similar to a classic dungeon crawler maze.
That could be something. Adventurers that buy cheap deeds to territories and buildings that are infested with monsters, clear the place as best you can and try to flip it for profit.
@nightstar6 Honestly, investment opportunities are something I'm not sure we see enough of in ttrpgs. Most monetary exchanges are immediate, so could definitely be a fun twist "You got a 100 gold? Okay, I got something that can profit us both. My family owned the mansion at the edge of town, but apparently my uncle was a half baked demonologist and got the whole place infested with monsters a few months back. I was out of town, so I'm the only living relative and the deed defaulted to me. The guard aren't paid well enough to deal with this, but I know a few people who were interested in the place before the incident. You pay me 100 gold, I add you in as co-owners, you clear out the place, I help refurbish and we split the profits from the sale. Deal?"
I was just thinking this! Imagine the party needs something from inside of an abandoned house, but the moment they step foot inside, a realtor just materializes and compels them to take the full tour. There is no escape, there is only the Ice Woman and her friends.
When they went to the church basement, I immediately reeled back because the smell suddenly hit me. Then jello commented about how the smell will never ever go away and I felt that on a spiritual level.
Jello this stream is a gift I will cherish for years to come. I have seriously not laughed like this in a while. As someone who watches and rewatches all of your videos and a lot of your streams like they're comfort media, getting this zillow nightmare as a valentines gift is just such a treat. My best friends and I are moving (again. adult life is garbage why can't we just stay in one place ever) and plunging ourselves back into zillow hell for the bajillionth time to search for a new home. Even ice woman 2D house feels so cathartic after looking at my five millionth grey/beige house listed for $2500 a month. Finally, some good fucking food
If I had a nickel for every time a shower curtain I had growing up appeared in these pictures, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but weird that it happened twice, right?
1:15:58 you could make a good eustice bagge cosplay with that mask! all you need is a button cap from the 1950s, a beige top shirt or sweater and some overalls that were originally brown but then covered in oil to make them navy blue.
that second house made me want an indie horror game using horrible zwillow houses as the setting, tho they'd probably need to use the ones that have virtual walkthroughs to make sure they got all the angles they needed
16:34 pretty sure that's an electric radiator, ALTHOUGH I would be real down for it to be a computer tower that has the _BEST_ liquid cooling you've ever seen. 27:18 That is not a choice, that is legally required by housing code. For open fire places (eg. one's that you put wood in) you _have_ to put a non-flammable area minimum 2 feet in front of a fireplace for it to pass fire safety. Similar things with a bedroom; it _requires_ there be a window where you can fit a full adult body through as an emergency exit (even on the 2nd+ floor). The only way to avoid that cut out look is to have the _entire_ floor in a room with a fireplace be a fire-rated material (eg. brick, tile, stone*, etc.). Not all stone is fire rated, and some is outright explosive with fire like river rock, so the safest option is just tile. The rest of the floor is hardwood so they 100% have to have that little area in front of the fireplace.
"The wet house, because I'd bulldoze it and build something else!" - I'm pretty sure that is actually exactly what that listing is proposing... in the same sentence as describing the current property... because sure why not? "Location! Location! Location! Design from the ground up or according to your client's wishes -- Tear down and replace it with a 3 bed 2 bath, two story colonial, a diamond on the rough for individuals looking for a lot with views [...]"
43:16 There are no words to describe how much I LOVE this room specifically. Look at the size of those windows and the cool balcony, and LOOK AT THOSE GIANT CEILING WINDOWS imagine being in this room while it's raining AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Now I want a combination kitchen and greenhouse.
It would have to be annoyingly far away from other people, but having a conservatory with a daybed that has a domed glass ceiling and windows for walls would be great to nap in during the rain. I'd never be able to actually stay in that room as a full-time bedroom, though. Too much exposure.
I'm kinda glad this video was made with the insane Nickelodeon house as it has been completely sanitized. It's heartbreaking. Like drawing over a Warhol painting
Hi! I want anyone reading this to know that the Mansion on 30:00 ? As of March 6th, not only has it been taken off of Zillow's active listings, but they've removed half of the baths and one bed, and the price has gone down by $600,000!
1:01:30 I looked this listing up. It was originally a mid-1800's schoolhouse. Those wood stoves are probably original to the building. Still doesn't excuse the public bath.
Genuinely the most I've laughed during ANY stream. The comedic chemistry between you guys is absolutely insane (fitting for the tallycule!) Thanks so much for spending your Valentine's with us!
For the first couple photos of that second house, I thought that it was salvageable if you painted the walls different colors, maybe got some shelves up, but no, the further it goes on, the worse it gets.
Honestly the best part of the Colorado Springs horror house it that CO Springs also happens to have an insanely high number of mega churches. They got so close to the insane mountain rich in Colorado. Gotta hit Aspen for that shit.
I was cackling for pretty much the entirety of this video. I can’t remember the last time I laughed this hard, thank you so much Jello and Friends for a delightful time.
I genuinly love that red house you all hated. The outside is supposed to be viking inspired (the whole triangle roof over the entrance and shit) which is cool and I really dig the inside. The only problem: the fireplace is at the wrong spot! It's where I would put the dining area, not the living room. I would have put that where the indoor step is, so you don't have to cross it with hot food in your hands. The step gives the room a visual break without the need of a wall, so you could have the kitchen, dining area and living room in one big open room which is not only visualy great (makes it feel grander) but also nice if you have people over (or your family lol), so you can converse when making food and everyone else gathers in the living room. Also nice for partys (not the step tho, that's a hazard for drunk people).
Interesting thing about the Nickelodeon horror house is that there are genuine pastel gore body horror paintings on the wall at 1:19:08 This person fully knew what they were doing. There is a nurse dismembering a rabbit.
"Deadpan realtor glossing over all kinds of oddities and horrors while showing his clients around probably-not-haunted houses" is a character I need to see in a D&D campaign.
*"...and here is a lovely dungeon for sale. The previous owner died tragically when he rolled a natural 1 for acrobatics and fell facefirst into this pit of spikes. Don't worry, we had the spikes disinfected"*
@@EvanPeterson151 "This is the... green room. We call it that because the walls are painted green. Its freshly painted because we repurposed the Gelatinous Cube in the ceiling to constantly produce green paint."
@@shadcroly "Oh, now onto the next room. In here we have a cavern with an enterance that opens up to the ocean. This is where the previous owner kept thier pet hydras. On an unrelated side note, don't go too close to the bridge that crosses over the river to get the kitchen..."
@@Ghostrecall_M and now, if you would kindly cross this bridge and follow me into the kitchen…
He somehow sounds simultaneously emotionless and completely depressed
When Jello said that he floats so he doesn’t have to use the stairs, I started imagining his character as a ghost realtor who is cursed to walk this earth and not move on until he successfully sells one of these houses.
No. *All of them.*
@@Jachra Scooby doo and the 13 realtors.
@@MrReich1918 "Only *you* can sell the cursed homes!" "Why *me?!"* "Because *you* bought them up!"
I like how in the insane nickelodeon-sensory overload house, everyone just failed to notice the chandelier made of dozens of barbies fucking stapled together
I was BEGGING them to notice.
Timestamp for the nightmare chandelier
Found it, worse than I thought it would be
Where is said chandelier?
The barbie chandelier is at 1:12:22 and is in the top right of the image. It will also now be featured in my nightmares.
"Finally, a house complete with an orb to ponder, and no other aesthetically pleasing qualities" --actually psychotic lich king
Holy shit I get a pondering orb AND an enderman? Fuckin SOLD!
Genuinely, the mesh of clinical hospital white walls & floor with fake wood paneling + flooring in that house is the ugliest God damn thing I have ever seen I'm my entire life.
The demon core
It's so Sauron can ask you to make an Army in Mordor
There are four genres of houses:
- Dilapidated biohazard (enter at your own risk)
- Boring rich person thought cost equals quality (it does not)
- WHAT IS THIS? NO REALLY, GOOD GOD IN HEAVEN, WHAT AM I LOOKING AT?!?!
- A decent house, actually
Don't forget the most elusive genre:
-Eccentric Rich Person with an actual sense of style and a legitimately awesome house.
- a house that the fae own
Long ago the 4 house genres lived in harmony UNTIL THE RICH PEOPLE ATTACKED
Don't forget the secret category:
-a house where somebody has or will be murdered in, do you want it to be you ? Buy now
@@Sir_BucketReading that in the deadpan realtor voice is fucking incredible and deserves more attention.
I think the worst thing about the minimalist torture house is the multitude of windows showing you the beautiful greenery you're forever separated from
My dear friends
-The Ice woman
-The Blood Gentleman
-Candy Enby
what about Onyx Man?
Edit: apparently "onyx" is the gemstone while "onix" is the pokemon
@@Robin_Glorb Onix Man is nobody's dear friend
@@TurbopropPuppy the onix man is my best friend 2nd only to ice-woman
you are all spelling onyx wrong
@@clockworkcake8057 What's wrong?
I feel like the "sell the house you havent seen before" game could be i jack box or something
Literally Talking Points but with houses
Seeing the fucked up incomprehensible sensory overload house has altered my brain chemistry irreparably. I *need* to live there.
Edit: looked at the listing and they’ve completely changed the interior. It looks normal now. This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me.
What house are you talking about? Are you talking about this house? 1:12:05
Yep, that’s the one! Thanks for getting the time stamp lmao I should have done that myself.
I WAS LOOKING FOR IT AND COULDNT FIND IT IS THAT WHAT HAPPENED IM DEVASTATED
You're going to have to replicate it. You can make your own crazy house wherever you live.
The dutch angles really are the cherry on top
absolutely losing it at " it looks bigger on the inside" "that's the shed"
When
@@mattiismouse1086 Sorry i didn't see this reply, but it's 1:34:44
i love how the eldritch realtor's breaking point wasn't the two-room house in the middle of nowhere, or the portals, or the horrible nickelodeon house, but the rich people underground
Yeah sounds about right
Because the only thing more horrifying than eldritch madness and death is rich people in real life.
The underground house was just abysmal though!! Like, if you want a hidden, private party house with a built in stripper pole, don’t make the kitchen and bedrooms look like a depressing upper class suburbian nightmare!! Like eww, who would want to go there to party and bang when all the beds have wooden pillers you can hurt yourself on?? At least make it fun! The decor was dreadful!
@@table2.0 To be a *bit* fair, it was built in wake of the Cuban Missile Crisis-and currently the group of people (can’t remember who) that has it kept what it looked like then for preservation sake, and had the current price like that to reflect how much it would cost to rebuild the entire thing. Kinda interesting looking through the history of why it was made since there were other “underground bomb shelters in people’s homes” that were made at that time as well (though maybe not as extreme as the one we saw) because of that moment in history
1:06:00 fucking kills me every time. The reveal followed by "Have you ever wanted to live in the middle of a FUCKING GLACIER?!"
Just amazing.
“I’m actually half piano” opens mouth and smiles to reveal 52 identical white teeth in the shape of piano keys
a, nice idea
Horrifying
Pianofolk are terriffying people. They bite pretty hard.
52? Not 26?
@@ObliviKeeper97 there are 52 white keys on pianos
Loved Jello breaking out the "So This Is Basically" voice with an extra dose of depression to introduce the white torture house.
22:33 "Let's go inside- just kidding."
"Where does the bridge go?!?"
"Let's find out- just kidding."
I literally slapped my knee laughing. This is a certified knee-slapper.
1:06:53 Hey there. Do you need to bury a really tall man RIGHT NOW? You're in luck.
1:19:22 That's not a painting, that's a window. He's just here to say H̷͕͗Ẹ̵̑͑͌̕L̵̞̏L̶̰̹̪̈̓Ö̴͖͇͉́.
3:09:22 Uh oh... I think this is where they make Soylent Green...
7:59 that delivery killed me.
"We had to block this one off because there's an enderman in it."
This whole thing is a riot but the "Well, let's head on inside-- ohhhhhh nooooooo~" at 1:06:47 finally broke me
I actually had to break from the video to laugh because the absolute _understanding_ in that phrase
I love the way Jello says "are you sinless?" at 2:26:09, it just feels like genuine surprise
Its the "oh my, i found another sacrifice for baphamet" vibe that makes it work.
The room at 3:05:05
Very isolated with nothing to focus on except the table in front of you. Six chairs. Tile walls that you could probably just clean with a waterhose.
I'm not saying its a Russian Roulette room, but it looks, walks, and quacks like one.
Six chairs, too.
Oh god it is
Please god someone has to animate some of these scenes, especially ones where Jello breaks character but in the animation it's The Realtor Entity actually being thrown off their game.
Thats just the G-Man reacting to Benrey
@@VeenanNorvius HLVRAI WWWWW
yeah lol maybe with Inscryption characters goofin
"I'm tryin to figure out where we are" but the realtor's eyes just squint tiredly at the fucked-up ceiling
Oh my god. Please. I want to see the fucked up Ice Woman house immortalized forever
“The Blumps” slaughtered me as soon as I heard it please do more of whatever this is.
i haven't been able to stop thinking about the way he said BBLUMPS for hours now
38:55 Timestamp for ease of access
The saga of the ice woman and crew gives me ideas of a zillow listing full of mannequins that seem to follow the photographer
yes lol
And then you start looking at other listings and slowly realize *that the mannequins are still there*😱
Except for the one picture halfway through where they are uncomfortably absent. It's like, what's worse than spiders? A sudden and mysterious absence of spiders when you know there should be spiders.
I love the cryptid realtor from the first half of the stream before he had a breakdown at the Vegas house.
My additional headcannons for eldritch cryptid realtor-
-He is wearing hooded robes that fully cover their face and hands like a cartoon cultist.
-there is no added percent for his services, he's paid in something, but it is unknown what. He does not elaborate further.
-his age is unknown and changes everytime he is asked. Current answers include 2, 85, 6,287, "I remember the stars were being born", 69, and "moving on"
-all houses he sells are not of this world, where they are from he does not say. The only person told just heard the sound of buzzing.
-his name was spoken only once, and all those who hear it did not hear words, but instead saw the second most likely thing to make them uncomfortable within their mind.
-he has a cat he loves very much. It is a normal cat and very fluffy and sweet. It's name is nibbles
love the headcanons lol
My additional headcannons are:
- he also still wears a suit jacket and tie over his robe, but the color and pattern of the tie changes whenever you look back at it.
- He will rarely be seen with a clipboard, but he never has a writing utensil and the contents of it are never seen.
You straight up just made an SCP article out of this lol
I just love how he’s not actually like malicious or anything, and actually tries to protect people from the insano fuckin houses
I love this so much this needs to be written down somehow
The problem with the nickelodeon house being halfway through the video is that everything coming after it just feels normal
1:08:25 the back-to-back hits of "it's p-stones" and "I thought that wire was a noose" absolutely KILLED me
Alright the crazy house that looks like it came from Dr. Seuss was designed by the Ace Attorney Investigations flight attendant
Don't worry, the Ice Woman is never gone for long! You'll see her again soon.
You'll see many of her very shortly
*She'll see you first.*
@@logicaloverdrive8197 She has already seen you.
the opening to "the laser tag" house had me wheezing.
"alright lets head inside! oohh..." with the view of the liminal/abandoned mall and the hole in the center just the voice sold the entire feeling of it.
god jello you nearly killed me with that thank you.
So the pit is for building and repairing cars. (Instead of lift, just remove floor). It's like the exact dimensions as the one in Jalopy, and there were like garage shelves in the room.
It took me a while to recognize it because they painted it BLOOD RED!
"Really open up the-WOH-!!!"
after the kitchen lol
I watched this stream in it's entirety while stranded at my high school because the highway closed due to a truck carrying hazardous chemicals crashed. Anyway very good many fun times were had.
that's becoming a trend recently, huh...
Another one, huh?
Oh, ya'll get highway closings. You don't have to drive through the chemicals and glow for the next nine days.
Are you in northeast Ohio by chance?
ETA: oh this was streamed on Valentines Day, nvm. Our crash was a couple weeks ago.
Do you live along the I-10 in or near AZ? Because I had truck shutdown all last night because of that.
God, i'm still so shocked on how good Jello is at improv. Man is losing his sanity and is still throwing out bangers
If he, Yam, and Jay ever decided to just spin this off into another channel of just these kinds of videos, I would 100% watch them all. Multiple times. I'm pretty sure I've contributed something like 12-20 views on both of the installments he's made already because they're so cathartic to listen to while trying to relax.
36:50 I'm glad you continued to respect the blood gentleman's pronouns after the reveal that he's trans
respect
Just a gentle reminder, even if we’re just being hypothetical in this instance, for trans people it’s just our gender- not our preferred gender :) 🖤
@@Xavier24781 Oop! Thanks for the correction! I think I meant to say "preferred pronouns" and failed at words when I wrote this comment
@@sommeone no problem, same thing with that one too though :) they’re just our pronouns. But ey if we don’t talk and learn then how can we? 🖤
@@Xavier24781 That's a fair point, I feel like "preferred pronouns" is a pretty standardised term nowadays, even amongst trans people (source: I am also trans, spend a lot of time with other trans people)
But, that being said, I agree with the sentiment, and there's no reason for me to say "preferred" in the original comment, so I'll fix that :)
Holy shit I'm so glad to hear it's not that uncommon to have that annoying ''i need to shit but all the toilets are in an open room full of people'' dream. I was worried that I was weird for having it so I'm glad it turns out I'm not alone
The toilets in my dream are usually in stalls, but the walls barely reach your knees. Then, when I complain about lack of privacy, please just say "what? There are walls!" and shrug
I'd unironically pay $5 mil for that Italian castle house in Portland if I had that kind of cash, it's just spectacularly well executed
I'd go 50/50 with ya once we're both rich 😂
33.3/33.3/33.3
I'll even do some chores... Maybe
25/25/25/25 I can kinda just stand there and eat food sometimes.
@@Monicaferarah25/25/25/25/0
I don't wanna do anything
list of houses
>game of thrones/castle house 1:46
>>minecraft/gamer house 4:21
>>wet moldy house 12:38
>>lethal triangle house 21:38
>>crystal people/wall house 30:05
>medieval/weird light bulb house 41:35
>price unknown 48:07
>boat house 50:34
>air-conditioner-in-the-wall house 53:14
>broken ceiling house 54:55
>>no-privacy/snowy house 57:52
>giant hole/laser tag house 1:06:30
>>house of insanity 1:12:10
>portal house 1:21:39
>underground house 1:24:30
>blank slate house 1:30:31
>>american house 1:36:55
>>radio tower/failed dreams house 1:48:35
>>repurposed church house 2:03:09
>>piano house 2:20:37
that's as far as I'll go
Thank you
Here's some more time stamps of them: Mound in the floor house 2:31:43 Haunted house 2:35:26 goth/monochrome house 2:37:50 LA green room house 2:42:16 aaaand i lost interest sorry lol
boring rich white/square houses arc 2:45:02
first rich house to stand out just from having different arches 2:53:00
boring rich white/square houses arc but now in Canada 2:57:15
search away from beach boring rich white looks at crazy art mountain people arc 3:00:40
"single family residence" 43bd 17ba 3:01:00
crazy fun art house 3:02:13
Real Art house that not all square with more statues people 3:04:50
Farm arc 3:06:40
lake side ski resort 3:07:46
cozy house in Canada 3:08:55 surprise at 3:09:25
nice house asking for to much 3:10:09
*try to get away from water *looks at a river house ranch 3:11:15
nice house in the middle of nowhere 3:12:20
wooden cabin that's also a bison farm 3:12:46
highest price in Chicago arc 3:15:06
The End
A true hero
I love how this took 3 comments to get through like an expidition journal where each entry goes just a little further before the rations run out and they need to turn back
I still can't get over the ice woman and her mythical fake 2d house
Edit: I was not prepared for the neon hell house, I was a fool to assume I had seen the worst of it
Honestly, I now want there to be a horror game about exploring zillow houses. The houses are not haunted or anything, just unpleasant to walk through.
there is one kinda like that, it's called The Open House (i think) and it has a pretty funny gag where the relator is a stock photos jpg
There’s one where it’s “it either may be actually haunted, or there’s a squatter in the walls. You really can’t be certain.”
@@yells-of-the-not-so-danged Ooo! Interesting! I'll go check that out. Thank you
@@crowsenpai5625 could you specify the game?
@@LilyTheSmol no I mean one level in the hypothetical game of the original comment.
my favorite line so far is 2:07:34
"FROM THE BOOK OF REVELATIONS? THE GRINCH???"
The thing about the Gamer House, and the Wet House.
Is that the Gamer House starts of as psychological damage then transitions into physical damage at night.
Whereas the Wet House starts of as physical damage which turns to phychological damage at night.
So it's a lose-lose.
Them being thrown by each new room in the Nickelodeon house had me on the floor.
E: I'm watching this for the fourth time and still cracking up. Say what you want about the Nickelodeon house, whoever did that decor had a vision. They built their own crazy world in there.
I desperately want another stream of this. The Dark Realtor From Beyond has such a powerful vibe.
The UnRealtor
@@falconstudios146 if i ever make an animatic of this stream i'll absolutely title it "The Unrealtor" thank you for the amazing pun
@@TheEepyMagiAlways happy to be of service
"Here are the blumps" made me laugh so hard I had to take a bathroom break for fear of pissing myself.
I missed this! which house was it?
@@Geospasmic the blumps feature at 38:53
1:06:45 at this point of watching the vod, I made the mistake of deciding to take my meds, and ended up gagging and choking at the trio’s reaction 4 seconds later
The fur circus house is unlocking some vague memory of being taken to my mom's friend's house at age 7, not because it would have actually looked like that but because it looks exactly like the sweat-inducing nightmares I would've gotten the night after
1:08:13 ok so, my dad used to work at an architecture firm, and every month or so they'd get people in to do some kind of presentation, and around half the time they'd bring sample carpet squares. Those are all sample carpet squares. The patterns do not line up correctly.
I want more of this salesman character I'm gonna die laughing
The house at about 58:00 looks like it might've been converted from an old school, hospital, or something similar. You rarely see new buildings with that upper window above the door, which is a holdover from days without A/C, since it allowed for air flow.
It's probably also the reason for the wide spaces, the window to nowhere (air flow or maybe was once used as a dumb waiter) and the wood stove.
I looked it up, it was a school
This was so fun! I highly suggest looking into 1800 Blue Lick road, its a classic of the McMansion community, an absolute maximalist horder type nightmare that was once a church, and now holds weird 90's merchandise with a layout similar to a classic dungeon crawler maze.
Also pretty sure the owner was arrested for tax fraud at one point
I looked it up and I think it might be 8800 Blue Lick road you meant. Thanks for the recc!
I will never forget the lesbian hand holding toilets
@@FuzBrainlmao pardon
@@jaynenunya6070 in the blue lick road house the women's bathroom has two toilets next to each other without a divider
Learning i live less than an hour away from Nickelodeon Nightmare House is a temptation i've never experienced before
"This is the firest hazard I've ever seen in my life!"
Why did that one get me so good?
One day I'm bona make a ttrpg where you try to sell terrible homes and kill monsters while you pretend its still a good home
House flipper meets dungeon crawler
That could be something. Adventurers that buy cheap deeds to territories and buildings that are infested with monsters, clear the place as best you can and try to flip it for profit.
I would play a one shot of that
@nightstar6 Honestly, investment opportunities are something I'm not sure we see enough of in ttrpgs. Most monetary exchanges are immediate, so could definitely be a fun twist
"You got a 100 gold? Okay, I got something that can profit us both. My family owned the mansion at the edge of town, but apparently my uncle was a half baked demonologist and got the whole place infested with monsters a few months back. I was out of town, so I'm the only living relative and the deed defaulted to me. The guard aren't paid well enough to deal with this, but I know a few people who were interested in the place before the incident. You pay me 100 gold, I add you in as co-owners, you clear out the place, I help refurbish and we split the profits from the sale. Deal?"
I was just thinking this! Imagine the party needs something from inside of an abandoned house, but the moment they step foot inside, a realtor just materializes and compels them to take the full tour. There is no escape, there is only the Ice Woman and her friends.
55:27 You know its a good house when the floating eldritch entity realtor is just as frightened of it as you are.
The wet house used to be three stories. It is slowly being consumed by the earth.
1:08:48
Really open up the wWWOOOHH-!
Lol that just makes me laugh XD
55:24 this sound is so visceral... I can't explain the eldritch joy it brings to me
agreed
Like you can actually hear the cryptid realtor's jaw go slack and eyes widen like a cartoon.
I love the stoic semi-lovecraftian realtor being absolutely shell-shocked at 55:25
When they went to the church basement, I immediately reeled back because the smell suddenly hit me. Then jello commented about how the smell will never ever go away and I felt that on a spiritual level.
1:31:46 Well, at least this house has a Coraline tunnel for your children to get lost in
Brendan’s bored real estate agent voice absolutely kills me
“Are you the one putting the pianos in this pl-“
“My people are underrepresented in media”
2:27:50
I’m dying
Jay was born to receive housing pitches. That laugh, my beloved
I really hope this gets an edited video version. It gives me the same vibes as when Jello and friends played The Price is Right.
I went to sleep after the stream ended and it literally gave me nightmares. I had nightmares about these Zillow houses
Okay so it turns out I hadn't eaten for 6 hours before going to sleep so that's probably at fault but zillow couldn't have helped
@@purpleisdebeste ok that’s a relief because I’m about to go to sleep 😅
Hello fellow Aurora fan :D
Jello this stream is a gift I will cherish for years to come. I have seriously not laughed like this in a while. As someone who watches and rewatches all of your videos and a lot of your streams like they're comfort media, getting this zillow nightmare as a valentines gift is just such a treat. My best friends and I are moving (again. adult life is garbage why can't we just stay in one place ever) and plunging ourselves back into zillow hell for the bajillionth time to search for a new home. Even ice woman 2D house feels so cathartic after looking at my five millionth grey/beige house listed for $2500 a month. Finally, some good fucking food
1:12:30
THE CHANDELIER IS BARBIES
THE CHANDELIER IS BARBIES
THE CHANDELIER IS BARBIES
the whole chat was trying to tell them but sadly they never saw it
@@noodlenoms1569 HOW
If I had a nickel for every time a shower curtain I had growing up appeared in these pictures, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but weird that it happened twice, right?
I love the dynamic of an eldritch realtor, an endlessly optimistic one, and the one that's either being sold to or is supporting the optimistic one.
1:08:50 the DESCENT into the madness of what I shall call “The Bauhaus House from Hell”
The Triangle House was actually really nice, it’s got a rustic charm.
"You look like you love ugly things!"
Happy Valentine's day
Could you imagine playing a round of I'm on Observation Duty in the Peewee Playhouse hell portal home ( 1:17:12 )
yes lol
1:15:58 you could make a good eustice bagge cosplay with that mask! all you need is a button cap from the 1950s, a beige top shirt or sweater and some overalls that were originally brown but then covered in oil to make them navy blue.
1:18:25 Now, the Candy Cane Enby is rather distracting, but don't miss the Eye Bag and the Peeper in the top left.
that second house made me want an indie horror game using horrible zwillow houses as the setting, tho they'd probably need to use the ones that have virtual walkthroughs to make sure they got all the angles they needed
I'm On Observation Duty except you have to sell the house before too many anomalies happen
16:34 pretty sure that's an electric radiator, ALTHOUGH I would be real down for it to be a computer tower that has the _BEST_ liquid cooling you've ever seen.
27:18 That is not a choice, that is legally required by housing code. For open fire places (eg. one's that you put wood in) you _have_ to put a non-flammable area minimum 2 feet in front of a fireplace for it to pass fire safety. Similar things with a bedroom; it _requires_ there be a window where you can fit a full adult body through as an emergency exit (even on the 2nd+ floor). The only way to avoid that cut out look is to have the _entire_ floor in a room with a fireplace be a fire-rated material (eg. brick, tile, stone*, etc.). Not all stone is fire rated, and some is outright explosive with fire like river rock, so the safest option is just tile. The rest of the floor is hardwood so they 100% have to have that little area in front of the fireplace.
"The wet house, because I'd bulldoze it and build something else!" - I'm pretty sure that is actually exactly what that listing is proposing... in the same sentence as describing the current property... because sure why not?
"Location! Location! Location! Design from the ground up or according to your client's wishes -- Tear down and replace it with a 3 bed 2 bath, two story colonial, a diamond on the rough for individuals looking for a lot with views [...]"
43:16 There are no words to describe how much I LOVE this room specifically. Look at the size of those windows and the cool balcony, and LOOK AT THOSE GIANT CEILING WINDOWS imagine being in this room while it's raining AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Now I want a combination kitchen and greenhouse.
It would have to be annoyingly far away from other people, but having a conservatory with a daybed that has a domed glass ceiling and windows for walls would be great to nap in during the rain. I'd never be able to actually stay in that room as a full-time bedroom, though. Too much exposure.
I'm kinda glad this video was made with the insane Nickelodeon house as it has been completely sanitized. It's heartbreaking. Like drawing over a Warhol painting
😭😭tragedy😔
Hi! I want anyone reading this to know that the Mansion on 30:00 ? As of March 6th, not only has it been taken off of Zillow's active listings, but they've removed half of the baths and one bed, and the price has gone down by $600,000!
1:01:30 I looked this listing up. It was originally a mid-1800's schoolhouse. Those wood stoves are probably original to the building. Still doesn't excuse the public bath.
1:46:22 i live a mere hour away from where that was :)
if i’m lucky i’ll only die from cancer at age 45!
Genuinely the most I've laughed during ANY stream. The comedic chemistry between you guys is absolutely insane (fitting for the tallycule!) Thanks so much for spending your Valentine's with us!
Wait, are they actually a polycule?
@@guillermostreiger2307 Yup! Jello's open about being poly (which makes my poly heart happy beyond belief
Ooooooooh cool. Honestly seeing their dynamic, they were made for each other. They play off of each other so well.
If you use a $1 minimum it filters out all the unpriced listings
I like how halfway through they had to give jello his mojo back and it took about 30 sec for him to start also selling the house to himself
1:08:49 Jello ascends this mortal coil
For the first couple photos of that second house, I thought that it was salvageable if you painted the walls different colors, maybe got some shelves up, but no, the further it goes on, the worse it gets.
Honestly the best part of the Colorado Springs horror house it that CO Springs also happens to have an insanely high number of mega churches.
They got so close to the insane mountain rich in Colorado. Gotta hit Aspen for that shit.
I was cackling for pretty much the entirety of this video. I can’t remember the last time I laughed this hard, thank you so much Jello and Friends for a delightful time.
1:04:30 this whole house is so funny and I laughed so hard it started a coughing fit that almost triggered my gag reflex 10/10 comedy
57:15 I don't think it'll make it any better but the yellow jug is milk. You know. For when you get thirsty while on the toilet
What’s more romantic than laughing at stupid rich people with your partners? Nothing, that’s what.
I genuinly love that red house you all hated. The outside is supposed to be viking inspired (the whole triangle roof over the entrance and shit) which is cool and I really dig the inside. The only problem: the fireplace is at the wrong spot! It's where I would put the dining area, not the living room. I would have put that where the indoor step is, so you don't have to cross it with hot food in your hands. The step gives the room a visual break without the need of a wall, so you could have the kitchen, dining area and living room in one big open room which is not only visualy great (makes it feel grander) but also nice if you have people over (or your family lol), so you can converse when making food and everyone else gathers in the living room. Also nice for partys (not the step tho, that's a hazard for drunk people).
5:20 Clearly it is just an Orb. You know, for pondering. As you do. As we all do right now ^_^.
1:52:00 We as humans evolved from primeapes. We're not humans. We're all annihilapes
1:12:50 NOBODY NOTICED THE CHANDELIER?????
Also like, im fucked up for this lol, but i'd love to live in that house, its so shitty and i love it.
I've watched this at least 10 times and I gotta say this really scratches the adhd itch despite being 3 hours long.
1:23:01 guys,,, there’s no reflection in the mirror,,,,, how did they take that picture?????
vampire
@@melvint-p9500 Must also have a vampire camera since that isn't reflected either
1:03:20 that's where I hold The Meetings
So many of Jello's Creepy Realtor lines gave me Homestar Runner-writing vibes. Absolutely delightful 😂
18:09 that's where they keep the enderman obviously
Interesting thing about the Nickelodeon horror house is that there are genuine pastel gore body horror paintings on the wall at 1:19:08
This person fully knew what they were doing. There is a nurse dismembering a rabbit.