First time hearing of this guy | The Machine - Bert Kreischer: THE MACHINE REACTION
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- Опубліковано 29 вер 2024
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WELL TOLD LOL.. | The Machine - Bert Kreischer: THE MACHINE REACTION
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Few things better than watching someone hear the Machine story for the first time.
I can name one: Someone watching Tom Segura's dance video with Bert's reaction for the first time.
Side note for Mr V: Tom Segura and Bert do a podcast called '2 Bears, 1 Cave". Bert did a promo 'dance' video where his fat ass is dancing around in a Speedo while his future tour dates scroll up the side of the screen. Tom Segura is a comedian with a whole skit on why he loves Steven Segal, so he dressed up as Segal, and hired a dance troupe to make a whole music video destroying Bert. He even tricked Bert into doing some green screen facial expressions, so he could superimpose Bert into the video on a dude who's fat as f*ck. He debuted the video on Bert, on their podcast, and Bert didn't know it was coming. It's the greatest shit ever, and you must react to it. Bert wheezes himself to death. It's fucking fantastic. The lengths of petty Segura went though are a whole new level of drip. He had to spend at least $40K just to shit on Bert. And it's SO worth it.
It’s my favorite thing to have people heat
Right?? 😂
It’s a lie though.
Thank you very much Mr.video thank you 😂😂❤️❤️
One of.my favorite comedy bits. Brad Williams is hilarious, too!
Request #60
Too Short....The Ghetto
Stereo MCs...Connected
Timex Social Club....Rumors
I love this guy!! Also I just moved from Toledo so shout out to the 419!!
The story is supposed to be true. The dude had a wild life and time. If you want to hear more of his stories get his audiobook "Life of the Party: Stories of a Perpetual Man-Child" read by Bert, he has some really cool and funny stories in there too. Love the story about the band Creed.
Very true story! lol!!!!
4:30 Not that I'd do it... but have you seen Russian girls? 16... 17 they're tall blonde supermodels...
Just watch out for girls named Helga.
So to make more sense, what he was trying to say is "I'm a man" which in russian sounds a lot like "I'm the machine" if you pronounce it like a Mexican speaking English. So basically I'm the machine is the product of bad pronunciation and lots of vodka :)
Check out some Mitch Hedberg! Best one liners!
The greatest thing about the whole thing is it's all TRUE !! 100% verified by his old classmates among others , The movie Van Wilder is actually based on Bert Kreischer's college years .
I've heard that they are making another movie based on Bert's life
I forgot the Van Wilder shit! Also the band Creed for christ's sake lol
@@unseenmal They are doing the Russian trip as an entire movie.
Wow! Thank you for the information! I was wondering..
@@chuckhouse5179 Ryan Reynolds?!?
Damn he's probably too old to be a college student now...
Flying Dildos is another hilarious one from Bert
Yup.... but really, anything with Bert is funny as hell!!
Flying Dildos seriously had me laughing so hard my head hurt and my stomach
Is that the one where he went to the Anne Frank House and got it confused with Helen Keller?
I think that it's even better than the machine.
@@gwenwells2286 yes.
This story is actually real his classmates confirmed it and there are some photos of him and Igor on the internet
Oh wow! Fascinating!
And he has on his fanny pack.🤣
@@carlastanley1138 - Yeah, that was the biggest fanny-pak I've ever seen. A guy's gotta be pretty confident in himself to walk around in that thing. 🤣
yeah and i just went into the north korean border with a tank
fat english speaking guy , with that story hes dead after 2 minutes , max
True story verified by his classmates. Van Wilder is based on him.
He might have seen Van Wilder yet
They’re actually making a movie based on this story. I can’t wait for it to come out!!
You should definitely check out the movie Van Wilder!
@@isitafox I think he means Mr Video likely hasn't seen the movie yet. He hasn't seen a lot of different movies yet.
No proof at all. He had friends lie for him.
I hope Tom and Bert see this. You saying his name wrong us a running joke with those guys
Burnt Chrysler
it's too bad Brett is a big fat racist. keep it high and tight, mommies
@@manpudding911 Brett who? If you meant Bert, what's the evidence?
@@manpudding911 aw puddin.
@@eastportland Brett Kristler is a big fat racist
Smoking on my lunch break and look what pops up, my homie, watching the machine.....
This is actually a true story! It really happened to him.🤣
He says at the end, that it was in fact a true story. The reason it blew up and became popular was because one of his classmates saw it and confirmed it was 100% true!
Not just 1. They tagged whole class on the post and a bunch jumped on to confirm it was true and shared photo's
@@Yugioh420 You're right. I thought that happened, but, wasn't positive, so, didn't want to say something I wasn't 100% sure of.
@@LizONLY I actually have a saved copy of the pic with him and his fanny pack with a bunch of other mafia members. But can't figure out how to share it. But if you google the machine Russia. And look under the pictures section and you will see it.
@@Yugioh420 I would love to see that lol
@@moffimr6687 I don't know anything about that. All I've (and everyone else in this feed has) seen is that he says its 100% true. Either way..its funny af. Who cares.
Bert said that the scariest part of the whole trip was partying with the cops, cuz they ran the place and weren't afraid of anything at all.
Yea the police there are like a whole other mafia themselves, and they probably do business with other mafias and it's just normal
@@env0x I think you're right, yeah. At least back then I think it was basically another (maybe scarier) flavor of organized crime.
Nah, Bert later said he and his friend hid in bed while the phone rang but were too scared to go out after all this.
@@dawest767 you're right. Turns out even the interview I was thinking of he actually said how scary it would have been to party with them, not that he actually had. I just remembered it wrong.
And they also partied way harder than the gangsters apart from that too. So it was heavier partying with less inhibitions and no consequences. He was terrified.
This dude's partying is legendary! I attended the University of Michigan during the same time he was at Florida State. No one on campus actually knew him, but, we all knew of him! While this is probably embellished a bit for comedic value, it is a true story!
Apparently its not been embellished There are parts he doesn't tell because they sound too crazy but are 100% true.
@Kenny Duthie No. None of us on campus knew him. We knew of him! I think it was Rolling Stone magazine that named him the number one partier
Not surprising he didn't learn from class, he was the #1 partier at the #1 party school in America. He's lucky he remembers being there.
HAVE HEARD THIS ONE A MILLION TIMES AND IT NEVER GETS OLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT
True story my guy, apparently one of his old classmates confirmed it awhile after his bit aired.. he’s definitely a funny dude, you should check out “fighting a bear” next 👍🏼
Actually it was confirmed before he did it as a bit. He told it on the joe Rogan show and Joe told him he needed to add it to his routine. Next show. He posted about it in Facebook, something about come check me out. With the headline how I joined the mafia or something like that. And a classmate from the trip seen the post and tagged the whole class. They all got on and started to talk about the trip and sharing photos of the trip.
Bert has been vetted..
He is the guy RollingStones did an interview with and hollywood based the Van Wilder movies on him... He's legit ;-b 💪💪💪💪
The band (Rolling Stones) never interviewed him... The Magazine, *"Rolling Stone"* did. 😉
Touche'
@@thewizardofcroagz394 - It only means that you might not be old enough to have subscribed to the magazine... Consider yourself lucky. Hahaha. 😆
@@_Common_Logic_ ive buried more people than smallpox...
@@thewizardofcroagz394 🤣 Yeah... I remember when "Doing it" three times in one night didn't mean "getting up to pee". =)
You should watch Bert Kreischer "I WRESTLED A BEAR". Another great story.
Somebody has to send the first bit to Tom, Bert “Kaiser”
Shoutout to any mommy's who may be watching.
#burtisfat
Sup Jean. Keep it high and tight.
@@sheds glad to see someone is willing to try it out.
Hey Hitler
YMH podcast is huge!
They just had a clip of you saying Berts name wrong_
Epic 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥
Any mommies here from the ymh intro?
Would love to see you react to some Eddie Murphy from Raw or Delirious
Totally agree , you can not go wrong with either of them !
To do a reaction though would mean he hasn't seen it...
I can perform delirious verbatim and some of raw too. I am shocked if I find someone (with a good sense of humour) if they've never watched Eddie in all his orange leather glory.
One of the greatest stories of all time, being reacted to by one of the greatest men of all time. A real Easter treat!!! Enjoy your day buddy!!!
I have been waiting for you to do Bert. Look up Joey coco Diaz as well.
You got to love what he calls Bert. Lol.
His name is pronounced: Br-ent Cryst-als
No, it's Burnt Chrysler.
@Lesley Debelloy No I think he's talking about that guy Bret Keloid..
But I'm actually talking about the fattest comedian alive today, Bruce Krishna, Aka "Uncrustables"....Easy mix up though
In all fairness, it's the closest to being right that I've seen his name mispronounced haha
He said partying with the cops was scarier by far then partying g with the mafia.
The movie Van Wilder is based on Bert's college years
LOL... this is a classic, one of my favourites. Another one that I think you should do next is Gabriel Iglesias' "The Gift Basket". It's also a true story, and here's the best version: ua-cam.com/video/n2HgXRNVT7g/v-deo.html
Yes!
Clarification: He learned some Russian words when he was in Russia not in class.👏👍
Oh man... Bernt Chrysler is hilarious. You gotta check out Bernt and Tom Segura's dance battle videos... it's some really wild shit.
ua-cam.com/video/1_umOs95Ulc/v-deo.html you're on tom segura's podcast. the long running joke is they always mispronounce bert kreischer's name. brent crystals, fat racist, burnt chrysler, bart klansman, etc. congrats your entry has been added to the sound board.
His last name is pronounced cry-sher lol just lookin out
This is gonna be good. I already watched my husband react to this lol
Edit: it was good 👍
Hey Mr. Video, I emailed this video to Your Mom's House and as you know they played it on the show. You are officially a Mommy now. Keep 'em high and tight!
Go to YMH podcast they show u pronouncing his names wrong bc everyone does lmao 🔥🤘it’s around 8 mins in
It is a true story, but Bert says a little exaggerations, but his college buddy and teacher said, it's a true story. Way before Van Wilder story is based off of his College Life, in Rolling Stone Magazine @Mr. Video
Heyyyy bro. They just used your clip on Your moms house podcast. Episode 601 time 8:01.
You got to realize he has been hanging out with the first Igor for a few weeks before he went on the train trip. He was hanging out with mobsters all day every day for weeks. Makes since he would pick it up quicker that way then just going to a class, not pay attention for an hour since you getting a c anyway, then leave. Plus he liked Igor so it makes since he learned more from hanging out with his friends.
Although I didn't recommend this, I'm very happy you covered this. If you react to anything else by Bert, please make it: "For Jennifer Aniston's Safety". It's not his stand up-It's a equally funny clip from one of his podcasts (2 Bears, 1 Cave). I have no doubt you'd enjoy it. Many thanks. Much love.
You should watch his Flying Dildos story. It's one of the funniest stories ever.
There was one interview where he said that the cops were way more frightening than the mob guys. I think he said something about basically having to sneak away.
Bret Kieser?!! Its Pronounced Burnt Chrysler my man
You should try some Jim Jefferies
' free Dumb ' and ' gun control '
Keep em high n tight Mr. Video
His last name is pronounced like /CRY-sher/
@Tom Segura good version of Bart's name. HA!!
Dude your were just on "Your Moms House podcast" congrats!!!!
YMH brought me here hahaha
I would L O V E to go to Russia some day.
Awesome Video Brother. F that B ! We're in Russia LMBOAO 😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂
It's "Brent Krystals"
Great reaction XD
You gotta react to his Flying Dildos story... it's as funny as this!
A minor is your secondary in college. You have your major and your minor.
No, you had it exactly right. Bret Kaiser. 😶
1) “CRY-shur.” You got it at the end. :)
2) As someone who had three years of Russian in college, I’ve loved this clip for quite a while.
3) I totally thought I’d seen you do this a while ago, just because I’ve seen so many people react to it. This was both a delight to suddenly find in my feed and undoubtedly worth the wait; you’re the best, man!
He pronounces his name "CRY-sher."
I like the story about when the bear almost killed him.
Tom woulda loved how you pronounced Berts name
isn't van wilder based on his college days?
Hi mommy 👖
Bro! Your the opening video for @YourMomsHouse podcast!! It's a running joke on mispronouncing of his name! Are you a secret mommy?
Find the date I commented this and look up the show date
I had never heard this story. Thanks for sharing it. Hahahahaha
His classmates were interviewed, they confirmed the story. The Ryan Reynolds movie Van Wilder is loosely based on him.
You unintentionally pronouncing his name wrong had me dying. Its a running gag between his friend group and fan base to mispronounce his name in the most outrageous ways possible, lmao.
shouts out to all tha mommiesss keep them jeans high n tight chomos!
Its Florida..anything goes 🤣
This IS a true story!
when i saw the vid for today i cllicked so hard a sprained my soul
Love this guy!!! Hilarious!!!!
Lol. It's 100% true. I hoped you saw Van Wilder it's about him.
The best part is that his classmates have confirmed the story multiple times and there are photos on the internet of him with his fanny pack with Igor drinking and partying.
Loved it! Thanks again
i've been that drunk... Jägerbomb's will do that AWAKE but blacked out drunk... fuck that shit
His other popular bits are "Fighting a Bear," "My Daughters," and "Flying Dildos."
Crazy story 😂🤣🤣
XO❤️
Oh shit, random thought: You've seen The Matrix, right? That would be a mindblower for ya if not. I don't think there are any regular, non-soundtrack songs in there.
Then again, when you come across that type of thing you could use shazam to catch a song and react to that as well. 😮 Shit, kinda makes me wish reactions were my thing lol
Bret Kaiser, you got it!
Bert Kreischer is a LEGEND. Absolutely true story and there is a movie that's based off his college years starring Ryan Reynolds called "National Lampoon's Van Wilder". It's terrible but it's also funny as shit.
Bruh you're the substitute teacher that just brings the video cart in for the day lmao... Mr. Video!
This is absolutely a true story. One of his classmates corroborated it when the story came out.
Bruuuuuh it’s about damn time! One of the greatest stories ever told. Respect ✊
Bret Keiser.......Somewhere Tom Seguera is fuckin cackling. 🤣🤣🤣
I wet myself to this cos I know what my school foreign trips was like 😂😂🏴🏴
she must have been smoking hot to get him to take the class 4 times in 2 yrs.
4 semesters and a free grade. good deal.
High and tight 👖
Kreischer = "Cry-sure"
I'm almost positive he's talked about the truth of it on Joe Rogan but I don't remember if it was all of it.
Remember the Pantera Domination (Live in Moscow) reaction you did and all the soldiers in the crowd? That was the same place, I think 4 years before this story. (also thank you for picking this one, shit cracks me up every single time)
it is so much fun every time I see it for real the best story teller in my opinion for sure
How about Pucifer - Momma Sed , or maybe anything from tool? Like maybe Sober... amazing song. Or what about Chevelle’s new song Self Destructor. What about NiN
That story might be true, but it's no '95 anymore...that was before Putin
Look what happened to Brittany Griner trying to bring vape cartridges into Russia...you don't wanna go 😂
Bert was in Rollingstone mag in 1997 I really doubt he even showed up during the class lol
Ok.... I'm 13 seconds in, on pause, because this was recommended for me, and I immediately left what I WAS watching, and ALREADY you have me hooked. You would be so much fun to hang out with!
All touted said so far is "Is this a REAL story?" And I was like "YUP! Yes it is, a REAL story. I can't wait." Then I paused to write this because I'm already souped for this reaction!
bro i shit you not, 3min ago i opened your "THEY GOT BILL BURR IN ON THIS | 10 Most O*fensive Jokes REACTION" - video and while watching, thought to myself, that i should recommend to you the machine...
before recommending it in the comments, i went to your channel and searched for "the machine" in order to see if you maybe already reacted to it...
and BBBBBAAAAAAMMMMM!!!!!! there it is, uploaded 17h ago xD
stay awesome dude and have a great day evryone! peace!