Hi Sir. Criticism can be a tone. More importantly, I believe criticism is sharing uncomfortable information about someone in an unhelpful manner. For example: You are told, "Your breathe stinks." It is not shared to help you; it feels that way. It is shared pointing out a flaw without the intent of wanting you to be better for you. Add a brash or harsh tone that makes you feel taken back and I think that is critical. You are right! I do feel attacked with words like "always" and "never". Hurts my soul in conflict.
Im not sure if it's criticism or not. I feel like he is criticizing me. He's always questioning EVERYTHING I DO. Why am I decorating the house the way I do? Why i watch the videos I do? Why do I take 2 showers in the day? Why am I washing my dishes the way I do? Why i wash laundry the way I do? Is that how I make egg salad?.....just a few examples. He questions everything about me. And he does it with a tone that gets me defensive. Kind of a mocking tone.
Thank you for sharing. That must be hard. Make sure you watch the video on how to stop being defensive. Ill try to do a video on boundaries and what to do if your spouse talks to you critically.
Skye, that is complete mind f**king behavior. It's a game to put you on the defensive; to make you question yourself! Your partner is playing a power game whereby putting you down he/she feels one-up. This is classic Narcissistic BS. If you're still with that partner, or even if you're not, check out this channel: ua-cam.com/users/SurvivingNarcissism. Good luck to you!
@@beyondfitrd thank you! That's definitely what it felt like. We are no longer together as of 3 months ago so right now just healing. And getting clarification of everything I was thinking and feeling. I will definitely still check out that channel. The more I know the better off I am.
I’d be interested in a video about what happens when the critical partner has asked for things nicely to be done, or for what they need, using these strategies and actively not being critical only to have their partner invalidate, not be consistent, or follow through after repeated attempts. It makes the more critical person feel really invalidated, unseen, and unheard, and all the “blame” is put on them. But how many times can they ask for help or support doing X or Z, and have their needs feel neglected before inevitably reverting back to criticism out of hurt and frustration?
Questions of the Day
How does criticisms show up in your relationship? How do you spot it in yourself or your partner? Comment down below.
Thank you for your helpful advice
Hi Sir. Criticism can be a tone. More importantly, I believe criticism is sharing uncomfortable information about someone in an unhelpful manner.
For example: You are told, "Your breathe stinks." It is not shared to help you; it feels that way. It is shared pointing out a flaw without the intent of wanting you to be better for you. Add a brash or harsh tone that makes you feel taken back and I think that is critical.
You are right! I do feel attacked with words like "always" and "never". Hurts my soul in conflict.
Im not sure if it's criticism or not. I feel like he is criticizing me. He's always questioning EVERYTHING I DO. Why am I decorating the house the way I do? Why i watch the videos I do? Why do I take 2 showers in the day? Why am I washing my dishes the way I do? Why i wash laundry the way I do? Is that how I make egg salad?.....just a few examples. He questions everything about me. And he does it with a tone that gets me defensive. Kind of a mocking tone.
Thank you for sharing. That must be hard. Make sure you watch the video on how to stop being defensive. Ill try to do a video on boundaries and what to do if your spouse talks to you critically.
@@richerlifecounseling i will definitely watch it. Thank you!
Skye, that is complete mind f**king behavior. It's a game to put you on the defensive; to make you question yourself! Your partner is playing a power game whereby putting you down he/she feels one-up. This is classic Narcissistic BS. If you're still with that partner, or even if you're not, check out this channel: ua-cam.com/users/SurvivingNarcissism. Good luck to you!
@@beyondfitrd thank you! That's definitely what it felt like. We are no longer together as of 3 months ago so right now just healing. And getting clarification of everything I was thinking and feeling. I will definitely still check out that channel. The more I know the better off I am.
I’d be interested in a video about what happens when the critical partner has asked for things nicely to be done, or for what they need, using these strategies and actively not being critical only to have their partner invalidate, not be consistent, or follow through after repeated attempts. It makes the more critical person feel really invalidated, unseen, and unheard, and all the “blame” is put on them. But how many times can they ask for help or support doing X or Z, and have their needs feel neglected before inevitably reverting back to criticism out of hurt and frustration?