☝️What do you do to get yourself motivated? 🙋 Be sure to subscribe for more videos 👉 bit.ly/frankjames Channel shirts and mugs 👕☕www.bonfire.com/store/frankjames/
I get motivated when I feel I have a really interesting idea that I can spend a bunch of time thinking about, though I rarely finish anything, mostly for the reasons in this video.
Maybe this means that the perfect job for an INFJ is "theoretical mathematician"... You know if there weren't all that teaching and stuff. Just all theory all day long
@@lizl1407 I feel a job like that would be _too_ theoretical for me: I definitely need the feedback that my work is being useful and used. Currently I work as a programmer - and that seems to hit the right spot between connecting to the real world via the software that people use and my love for staring at a blank piece of paper for an hour. I'd just need somebody that comes up with the right names for things and documents the stuff that I put into code, because just writing "Why this works? I DONT KNOW! It's intuition!" doesn't really cut.
I mean I know we all have bills to pay and have a need to appear as responsible adults? but from a spiritual perspective, there's really NOTHING you HAVE to do...that rat race mentality we all have screaming at us on our shoulder? was put in place by ESTJs probably and doesn't work well for us. Coronavirus is wreaking havoc, just sit back and enjoy philosophizing, IMO. Think away INFJ, the world is your oyster right now. Stop trying to accomplish so much.
I thought that was an infp thing. I've read that infps dream and think up a lot of things but have trouble practically bringing them out to the real world. And that infjs are better at getting things done in real life.
i feel like infj has the hardest time with motivation because of our over analyzing and perfectionist traits and feeling we have to know everything 100% before starting anything
Definately! Then you start to doubt yourself along the road until, getting ready for it to be implemented never comes around. (Anyone else re read their comment making sure it's tip top for your liking before submitting?)
Wow! This!!! I’ve been putting off studying for a fitness certification course I signed up for because I have a goal of getting a perfect score....so I have to study a lot.....and the stress of not being able to study perfectly kept me from studying much the whole time. Finally started for real this time!
I got ragged on so much for speaking to myself in third person that I stopped. I didn't even know why I did it. I just did. I don't even remember when I stopped. I will definitely have to start up again.
My ex was a joiner/carpenter. I used to have brilliant ideas for projects for him. If his projects failed. That was on him not me. I'd just plan different ideas for him. I mentioned he was my ex right?? I can't think why he left me😄
Recap: Limit planing, stay motivated by progress (no matter how small), take responsibility for the outcome (of doing it or not doing it), trust yourself, and give yourself permission to do what you want to do (unapologetically)! ✌️Now go out there and make a difference!
one thing I'm actually practicing lately is giving myself permission to do what I want instead of cramming my whole schedule into a meticulously planned routine, which, can be jarring most of the time
@@momokashira Yeah, you're right. I think it's a balance of both. You need to know when to work and get things done and when to relax. Otherwise you'll burn yourself out
1. too much introverted intuition - always planning, limit it 2. avoidance of extraverted sensing (inferior function) - we always try to avoid it, so we don't like doing things in the physical world, so we like to spend time in our heads and plan - accept responsibility and do the things you have, look at them as necessities you have to do in order to accomplish your goal 3. you don't trust yourself (having extraverted feeling over introverted thinking) - all IJ's and EJ's have this thing where they seem like they're bragging about what they're doing and their plans, but it's not an ego thing, it's just looking for validation as they want to hear affirmation of the ideas
It feels weird when other people can see your qualities but you can't. So trusting myself could be a big step and that's when I feel stuck. Sometimes it's like I am my own enemy. 😔
Omg I can relate. Also, to do almost anything to improve my life, I have to get influence from other people doing it themselves - I wouldnt do it otherwise, it can be as simple as muscle clenching techniques to help get me to sleep - know it works but I find it's useless unless I see someone else do it first.
You hit the nail on the head, dang. Especially wanting to start from square one because of perfectionism, lol. Thanks for all the really specific advice!
"YOU DON'T TRUST YOURSELF" Darn right. I don't trust myself so much that other people see it, and start to believe it themselves. By that point the damage is done and I end up proving myself right. We are a self-destructive type.
These are basically the reasons why i still haven't wrote a book that i wanted and the reasons why i am not getting better at drawing. I just give up easily.... And yes, when i am suppose to do something FOR SOMEONE ELSE, then i can move mountains, but when i want to do something for myself - i do feel like it's selfish... [...] I have to admit i got nice motivation from this video, i just don't know how long it will last...
Omg exactly same here. I can work and sacrifice 12 hr days like a machine for SOMEONE ELSE - but my own stuff.?! I spent 90% of my time being distracted- or have almost zero energy 🤦♂️
Stop sacrificing yourself so much. People are not learning as much from it as you expect. You deserve your own attention too. I know it's hard. And you probably already know it. But really, it's self sabotage. You gotta try to stop romanticizing your self-destructive altruism.
I'm an artist too! And I haven't been producing anything because I spend most of my time worrying more about other people than about myself. And I can't even be upset that they don't do the same in return, because I know it sucks. We need balance.
I was literally creating depression by over-planning stuff that I genuinly love doing until I saw no point in doing it anymore because I had already lived it to such detail in my head. Cure: start doing stuff you have no idea how to do, and you can't plan ahead. Gives that introverted intuition a nice fresh playground.
“I’m here to save the world, not to figure out which version of quick books to use!” 😆 Me every time I’m confronted with a spreadsheet for the project I’m on.
Tis a hard and taxing thing on the fragile infj frame, to not immediately set fire to imperfection... but alas *stops pouring gasoline all over myself*... at 5 am logic wins again, I’ll get to my to do list
This is so accurate, no one really understood me like this😭. When I study, or try to write my book, I always over plan so much that I don’t want to do this anymore.
One of the most duh moments I’ve had about motivation came from reading a memoir. The author was talking about a conversation she was having with her therapist about how other people find motivation. The therapist told her : they’re no different than you. They don’t have magical motivation powers. Motivation has nothing to do with wanting to do something. It’s about doing it anyway. My mind 🤯
The thing is when it comes to the art works and school projects 'Just doing' won't help much. Then we can only perform in average levels, not at our fullest. Smh
I laughed at the part with INFJ's asking everyone their opinion because when I have a difficult decision, I like to ask as many people as possible what they think lol... and oftentimes I already know in my "gut" what I want to do but I'm looking for that validation! It can be a very stressful and time-consuming process, but I think it's scary to act on an intuition when you haven't dug up the concrete reasons for it yet. As I've gotten older I think I've gotten better at trusting myself (after getting, like, four or five other opinions). Great video- thank you for this!
Hamlet must have been infj or intj - he talks about “thinking too precisely on the event - a thought which hath but one part wisdom three parts coward.”
@@bbnzn0024 I mean he does literally sit there and contemplate his revenge scheme for an hour. That's like what the whole super famous To Be Or Not To Be speech is about. Lol.
I’ve been spending an exorbitant amount of time planning on how I’m going to do things and getting very little actual work done, then wondering why I’m so exhausted in spite of the fact that I’ve actually done very little. This video made me better realize the ways in which I’ve been halting my own progress. Thank you so much!
6:15 "Which, in plain English means, we like to avoid doing things in the physical, concrete world. We just - We would rather not." I'm laughing so hard I'm crying 😭I've never felt so seen 😅
omg, this vid is from 2 years now but i’m impressed of how accurate it is. i think this example of “the idea of it vs it” got me, and understood why many times we just don’t do the project bc it’s even more important for us INFJs to get validation from it (the idea of it) vs actually doing it. that explains why sometimes i just get sooo hyped by the pursuit of getting smth, and when i got it, i just get bored and want something else. wow. thanks for this video ❤.
This hit home. I find as an INFJ I also need to attack the execution part of my planned projects in smaller increments otherwise I get too overwhelmed and I will walk away.
I’ve always had a fear of responsibility. Even as a kid, I had it. My mum has always been a busy mom. And I could always see her stressed and troubled by workload or whatsoever. My mom told me that when I was 4-5 years old, I started crying. My mum asked me why and I said I didn’t want to grow up because of all the work we have to do. Now I don’t remember this but my mum sure does, very vividly.
@@XxEstudanteUFHDxX I changed careers a few years back. But you could work doing quality engineering for a manufacturing company. I worked for both food and drug companies. I preferred working at the pharmaceutical (more structure, more clean) they get audited by the FDA. It’s fun to “win” when you have everything in order!🤭
Binge watching videos about INFJ personality just to listen to someone who can relate to me. Been feeling like nobody understands me for what seems like ages. But then again, i guess ive been pushing everyone away.
This is super accurate. All projects exist in my head and are perfect, but the real nitty gritty is exhausting, and the guilt of wasting time on something selfish (even though it's CLEARLY my dream) is insurmountable. I've found what helps is writing for a short burst to get the frustrations out, setting up space and allowance for *some* planning at least, and allowing yourself to indulge in something that will fail for the sake of learning. So what? Sometimes you fail at stuff. It doesn't mean that defines you.
INFJ here...it took me a while to get motivated to comment! but here it is...for the last few months I try to focus on the Why instead of the How for whatever I am doing. And that has been life-changing for me, because the How tends to get me stuck in the planning phase every time.
I can’t believe how accurately you’re describing the mental process I go through. Problem is we can get a long way through life and not achieve much because of the anxiety & perfectionism.
I didn't tell my parents I was buying a house to avoid the problem of buying something they wanted then being resentful about it. I had guilt about it but it was worth it.
baizawai I think you made a good choice. Completely unconsciously, since a bit of time I stopped asking my (nice but quite judgemental) mother for advice on my plans. She would often mention stuff like "it doesn't sound like you" while yeah, I want to improve myself and not stay stagnant and try different things ! Like she thought I would fail, it was so demotivating. Now I just show her the results of my choices, and ask her advice on trivial things.
I always thought that there was something wrong with me, dealing with all these things. It's quite comforting to know that it's not just me, and that there are other people who think and act like me.
Lol that’s the reason why I want to burn my bullet journal every month. I see all of those plans that I didn’t execute and I hate seeing them over and over again
I am an INFJ who has been trying to put together a project for over 3 years. After watching this video I understand what my issue is... Issues. When Frank said I could give myself permission to do things that I wanted to do it's like a massive roadblock collapsed and I could finally see how to move forward. I cried! Thank you Frank James! All of your advice has been extremely helpful! I really needed to hear it!
Do we have a forest around? Nah, for real... To be able to do sth i get on a narrow road before the Sun rises and meditate on the cold ground with nothing but distant noises and nature surrounds me. You expand your field of vision so much, you narrow your thinking... When in fact you are just allowing youself a bit more space. My great ideas... Doomed to die in a reply comment:))))
When I focus my goals on solely benefitting others, I lose steam. When I focus my goals on what drives my soul, I have endless supplies of energy and motivation. I then notice that when I work on myself and what speaks to me, I’m more available for others and it translates at a deeper level (because I’ve internalized the goal). “Remember that habits, not ideas, are the programming language of human beings.”
Here is what I took from this vid hope it helps ♥: 1-*Plan to plan less* : Do things instead of planning for so long put a big general well thought plan in a reasonable amount of time and start, it's okay to go back to planning as long as you're in the action but sometimes don't go back to planning cause that's the plan, things will always come up and you need to understand that they are part of the plan even if they're not written in it it's just life accept it and go on with it, and not start a new plan all over again, because that's how it mostly goes so you can do more in life and stay motivated cause you're doing stuff. Conclusiion plan well, plan less, trust your plan and go on with it embracing the flow going through things like a ninja...a ninja hahaha uhum sorry :3. lte's go on... 2- *Face yourself and you fears* : Try to use more of your extroverted sensing and try out stuff instead of just your introverted intuition be open to stuff so you can have more room to grow and become a well-balanced healthy motivated person. Shortly said get out of your comfort zone, it really helps ^^.(You can do this don't be scared it gets easier and comes naturally to oneself with time and practice.) 3- *Trust yourself* : Don't seek too much validation to stay motivated people don't need to agree with you on everything you do, tell them after. Your opinion matters when it's about you and you know it's what you actually need, it's okay to see other perspectives and hear people's opinions sometimes when you are really unsure but mostly don't do it until you know you really need it. Treat yourself like a person too, and it's usually the right thing to do, don't change and try to please people because it won't take you places, and you need to go places ok? alright!? and going places is not selfish and you need to understand that it is also helping people cause you're being a better you in a better place that can help people better, and also you deserve it because you're a person too remember? so you're being less selfish and trying your best and that's all that matters just be just live. Basically, keep things private if you want them to happen and trust that you know what's right for you, deep down you know you do so just go with the flow ^^ just do it. Thank you for reading, have a nice day beautiful people you're doing great xoxo.
Hi mature INFJ here, It’s going to be really hard not to listen to other people’s opinions to get motivated because of our extroverted feeling, but now I almost want to hear negative feedback and try to prove everyone wrong, I used to let it get to me and not do what I wanted, but being a mature INFJ is using our functions to our advantage, so continue to seek opinions from other people, when you get good feedback then you get on with it, when you get bad feedback you use the fact that you could prove everyone wrong and change peoples opinions on that subject to fuel your motivation. It’s a win win both ways.
& is it just me, I know exactly how to do these tasks, I literally have steps on how to do it the best way possible but I just lack the motivation to carry it out..
My motivational tips: 1) make the real life steps like quizzes with due dates in school, and don't worry about the final untill the end of the quarter when you have actually learned the material. 2) Make the messy stuff fun and like an adventure 3) do transitions in a way that makes you feel confident and ready instead of feeling like you still need to memorize the script again. Like text your partner before you leave work, or do push-ups before public speaking etc. 4) do one small thing every day just for your own joy without involving or telling/ asking anyone else about it.
Oh damn 😳 I was trying to figure out if I was INFP or INFJ and this video just confirmed im definitely INFJ 😂🥴 this video hit my soul 😂 I lol'd a few times its too real 😭😂
"You don't trust yourself!" Ouch! But it's true. Thank you Frank for this great video! Thanks for calling us out but doing it in such a kind way haha. Much love to you! I love watching all your vids :))
As an INTJ, I too get lost in dominate introverted intuition, a real of ideas and concepts, extroverted sensing is my Achilles' Heel. Your point about taking responsibility for the mundane and it adding to the fire of a dream is so true. Action invites further action, in order for something (a dream) to manifest, action has to be taken to make it real. Otherwise, it's going to remain in the mind.
Not joking, this advice is life saving. I've been deadlocked for the last 2 years by lack of motivation, yet not being able to understand it's root cause.
I have to spend MORE than 30 minutes planning to build my rocket ship to Mars?!? I don’t want to do it anymore - ENFP. By the way, great job! Good idea! 💖 Often, if I can’t get motivated, I make myself accountable to someone else. Fear of embarrassment gets me motivated to do it. 💖
Damn, this is so accurate! Just yesterday I was filming a video and after ~2 hours of editing it I got so annoyed that it didn’t work out as I planned, that I just deleted everything 😂 Being INFJ sucks sometimes 😆
The greatest advice is: start doing small actions. Once it's done, you'll fell better and more capable of continuing. For me, I think a lot about people and analise a lot, so it seems like I don't know about the things I studied and learned, and seems like I forgot everything I learned, but when you stop thinking (at least a little bit) and take a book to read, or take a walk observing nature, or do some mathematics, even simple, or draw something... Anything that you are 100% dedicated to it, you'll feel much better and motivated. I'm working on it this week, also I'm fighting anxiety and this helps a lot too.
DarkMatterSquirrels h for Christ’s sake, he’s just a guy. You are drooling all over him, and I have to say, as much as I like him, and I really do, he isn’t done with life by any stretch, and whatever he speaks of is coming from the mouth of a 30 year old guy. Which is relatively young, in the grand scheme of life, and he’s a guy. He doesn’t know as much as even he think he does; but it isn’t his fault; it is his nature as an INFJ to draw conclusions. But they will change. He just doesn’t know it yet. It’s quite precious and incredibly frustrating at the same time. Too many female “fans” busy wishing he was their boyfriend.
I'm an ENFJ but INFJs and ENFJs have the same functions, just in a slightly different order, but everything in this video was still applicable and MIND BLOWING how much I understand myself better now. Thank you Frank!!!
Point number 3 was so true it hurt. I didn’t know I needed to hear that but it EXPLAINS SO MUCH. I feel so relieved to know what’s going on now when I am “bragging” on the outside but feeling extremely disappointed with myself and like a hypocrite on the inside.
I'm gonna go plan how I'm going to apply these tips. One day of planning would do. Then I'll meditate on it, see it, feel it happenning, reach fulfillment in imagination, ending up not doing it in real life because I already experienced it, and start planning again so I don't fail next time. 💛 I love you too, FJ. 😂
Frank with high Fe: shares plans with others for feedback & motivation. Me with high Fi: gets irritated when people are too involved. just let me do my own thing. Great video as always, Frank.
So if I put "Good Job!" stickers in my planner and supportive notes and sort of pat myself on the back instead of looking to others for validation, then I can train myself into becoming more independently fueled. This is great advice. I want to feel like Calcifer 🔥🔥🔥
I CANT HANDLE FEEDBACK "good job" - great, i did it, now i can lean back "that sucked" - guaranteed that i wont be picking that up again for the next month
I find a lot of people would rather chew their own arm off than give a pat on the back, compliment, or any support of something beautiful I've created. Others have no qualms about it and are always supportive. Even family has been that way and that's the worst. Some people do not like it when you do good or something good happens to you. They are jealous and resentful and seem to go out of their way to never say a kind word. Yes, we just want feedback on what we are doing. As a perfectionist since probably birth, but it showed it's face in Kindergarten when making a clay ashtray (which WAS the best ashtray in the class) feedback on how we are doing- if what we are doing is good- do people like what we've done- is important. Have a great day Frank!
I needed this with the whole situation going on. I feel like the longer I stay locked in my house the less I’m using Se and more Ni and I’m getting more disconnected from society and actually doing things, and I keep planning so much and doing so little
I haven't even finished the video yet, but I'm an INFJ and I'm writing a novel right now. I really struggle with getting past planning and actually moving forward. This video really pinpoints exactly how I feel, and it was awesome that Frank James used my exact situation as an example. INFJs really do think alike.
a lot of this is the ‘trying to work out what everyone else is feeling’ thing you were talking about.. but tbh I have certain people now that know I need this, and I will just show them Part 1 of my project and they’ll be like ‘yay this is amazing well done’ and that helps motivate me to show them the next bit 😂 I think I’m just a very lucky INFJ with a couple of super supportive close people who genuinely want to see me succeed. We definitely need community even if we think we don’t!
I have youtube premium because i can’t stand comercials and i spend a lot of time on youtube, and for a while i was confused when frank did comercial cuts, but now i get it, i fell so dumb
For you INFJ out there, from an INFP: there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing something for yourself! ;) And if you truly can't help yourself but only think of others, consider the following: taking care of yourself, making sure you are doing well and maybe even feeling good will make you stronger. It will make you more resilient and capable to do good for others. The more you take care of you, the better you can take care of others. That's whay I try to teach all my INFJ and ENFJ friends anyways. Good luck! I believe in your projects! So go for it! ;)
Wow, I cannot believe how much I can relate: you have this great idea, but you get demotivated because you've exhausted all of your energy in planning it or thinking about it.
As an INFP, this was very interesting. I could very much relate to the first two aspects, and I'll definitely try to implement those things in the future. As for the last one, when you talked about the difference between INFP and INFJ, it was actually really eye opening. Because even though I might not like hearing that my idea sucks, or I might feel hurt by it, I find it so difficult to change my mind once I've come to a conclusion. It's because it took me so much to finally get to the point where I can confidently say 'I stand by this idea, it 'feels' right, so I'm gonna go through with it', that when someone disagrees with me, it's like... I cannot change my mind now. I've literally lost sleep over that thought and decision, planning every little thing out in my mind, perfecting it, and you cannot tell me now it's not right. Which really, really sucks, because I work as a designer and I sort of have to take feedback from people and change it the way they want me to, even if it causes me physical pain. Yeah, exaggerating here, but you get the image. So, really, I wished I was more like an INFJ, able to accept their feedback and twist my idea to please them. I really think I chose the wrong profession, now. I clashed with so many people while working on designs, and it's not because I think my work is perfect or I think too highly of myself, it's the opposite. I often look at my work and think how I have no talent at all, and I hate it, so I change it over and over and over again, until it seems worthy enough to be even shown to someone, and then they go and criticize it, and the fear of having to do it all over again and hating my work yet again is so consuming. So... yes, this was eye-opening, but in a way I wish I hadn't come to the conclusion because it really means I'll possibly never be able to work with and for other people in the creative field....
Probably late and all and I hope everything is a little better now. Firstly, no need to wish you are an INFJ, you are an INFP for a reason, and don't forget that this supposed weakness of yours can also be a strength in some cases and in others and just because it's not entirely helping you the way you want it to, doesn't means it's bad. What I would suggest doing is honestly do the person's idea and yours too at the same time, but that might be too stressful, and I can't really tell you to flow with it because then again, you need the consumers feedback. Slowly, but surely, I hope you'll find what works best for you. This wasn't the most motivating of speeches, but yeah😂. I hope you figure out what's best for you at the end❤️
I am a very similar situation being supposedly a infj. For me, the worst part isn't the acceptance of other's opinion (usually a shallow opinion in contrast with my intrincated and sometimes wrong reasons). The worst part is I know no matter what I say, my explanation will sound stupidly intense to them, so I have to simulate that everything is fine in order to look a normal person. But it isn't. That effort to hide how much proper things matter to me is an energy drainer. I also think designer isn't a good job for us, which is curious thus we usually are very creative.
I totally get the feeling of not being able to trust myself and always looking for recognition, but never getting it and then my motivation just dies all on its own.
As a homeschooling mama it is so fun to plan the the next 18 years for each of my 7 children's futures....and redo it 6 months later😂. Keep it simple mamas...meals, sleep, reading and activities, cleaning, and free periods...and then simply do the routine daily.
The first thing Frank says is to AVOID overplanning, which I can completely agree with but at the same time I am also watching this as a part of my "how to motivate self" plan that has been going on for... quite a while.
Only presented by an INFJ like yourself this can be so true and heartfelt and a true insight. I have been tested INFJ at many platforms and your videos like this one are helpful to me in a way I can see the story of my life narrated. I think f INFJs do all these things because we need to gather as much insights, emotions, inputs etc etc from the world around that while we are doing it and processing it, we re immersed in the process that we hesitate to deliver outcomes because we know there is so much so mcuh more coming from the Universe towards why deliver now..Let us wait another minute, hour, year, another lifetime..
"I can only plan for 3 hours and then I have to start writing the next chapter of my novel." What about the first chapter of my novel??? 😂 yep, I've definitely been planning too much
This is exactly what is making my motivation plummet. The problem is I over kneaded every avenue of bread to the point that I don’t want to pursue any life track! I seem to work better when I just flow into things. The planning is killing my ability to stay present!
As an INFJ This is one of the most insightful things I have come across. It speaks to the internal conflict that I have with people pleasing. It is so on point....and the point that you made of feeling like you have accomplished something just because you received validation is so true. Insightful!!
As much as I love your hilarious skits, it’s videos like these that warm my heart. Thanks for being an on-screen cool and attractive friend that I’ve always wished I had!
WHY IS HE SO RIGHT😢I never was able to name the feeling and that kind of bothered me, but the extroverted sensing thing is totally what I'm fighting. the introverted part is creating these well planned fantasies that i can retreat into for days, and although i did realize it was a problem i would just empty out my room and toss my phone and tell myself I'll die if i don't do it, and it's been working😂
Deadlines but they have to be real. On another note: I trust my judgement when it comes to projects. It depends on a creativity I have learnt to trust. Generally my projects work out quite well. I guess a bit of out of the box ideas. What I don't get is that I spread the work based on strengths of others and I do what leaders do (delegation and then working with others on their tasks giving them the lead on their area) some egotistical talker create the stirring of mutiny. I realised that while I am a strong leader in projects , I share the success/work so well others think I am a walk-over. I assert my leadership with cordial equality which has has people trying to overthrow my leadership.
This is basically explaining how I’ve been decorating my apartment I live in with my bf for over a year. I’m constantly asking him what he thinks about my ideas, and sometimes he just shrugs which drives me nuts.
☝️What do you do to get yourself motivated? 🙋
Be sure to subscribe for more videos 👉 bit.ly/frankjames
Channel shirts and mugs 👕☕www.bonfire.com/store/frankjames/
Stay attractive frankie
Thank youuuu🙂❤ I'm infj A
Frank, por favor, ative as legendas! Eu não entendo muito bem o inglês falado, mas quero muito entender o que você está falando 😌😆
I get motivated when I feel I have a really interesting idea that I can spend a bunch of time thinking about, though I rarely finish anything, mostly for the reasons in this video.
Akcolol
"...get something _DONE_ in the _REAL_ world."
The most annoying part of the process.
Maybe this means that the perfect job for an INFJ is "theoretical mathematician"... You know if there weren't all that teaching and stuff. Just all theory all day long
@@lizl1407 I feel a job like that would be _too_ theoretical for me: I definitely need the feedback that my work is being useful and used. Currently I work as a programmer - and that seems to hit the right spot between connecting to the real world via the software that people use and my love for staring at a blank piece of paper for an hour. I'd just need somebody that comes up with the right names for things and documents the stuff that I put into code, because just writing "Why this works? I DONT KNOW! It's intuition!" doesn't really cut.
Yes!!!
I mean I know we all have bills to pay and have a need to appear as responsible adults? but from a spiritual perspective, there's really NOTHING you HAVE to do...that rat race mentality we all have screaming at us on our shoulder? was put in place by ESTJs probably and doesn't work well for us. Coronavirus is wreaking havoc, just sit back and enjoy philosophizing, IMO. Think away INFJ, the world is your oyster right now. Stop trying to accomplish so much.
I thought that was an infp thing. I've read that infps dream and think up a lot of things but have trouble practically bringing them out to the real world. And that infjs are better at getting things done in real life.
INFJ: *feels unomotivated*
also INFJ: *watches video on how to get motivated instead of actually doing something*
not only INFJ...
I didn't come here to be called out like that. XD
Also infj: opens the video but goes to the comments instead of watching the video
@@jiyaissleeping lol you got me
Omg so true
i feel like infj has the hardest time with motivation because of our over analyzing and perfectionist traits and feeling we have to know everything 100% before starting anything
Bruh 😩
Exactly! I always need to know everything about a process - otherwise I think it's reckless to just believe in the process... So annoying
Definately! Then you start to doubt yourself along the road until, getting ready for it to be implemented never comes around. (Anyone else re read their comment making sure it's tip top for your liking before submitting?)
Yes! just like that...
Wow! This!!! I’ve been putting off studying for a fitness certification course I signed up for because I have a goal of getting a perfect score....so I have to study a lot.....and the stress of not being able to study perfectly kept me from studying much the whole time. Finally started for real this time!
INFJ secret weapon: Be an advocate for yourself in the third-person.
I recently started doing that xD
YES
This made me laugh so hard
I knowww
I got ragged on so much for speaking to myself in third person that I stopped. I didn't even know why I did it. I just did. I don't even remember when I stopped. I will definitely have to start up again.
"Get burned out at the stage of planning"
Did you spy on my professional life lol
By infj logic, perhaps the perfect job for us is “brainstormer” .. we have the good ideas, we just need others to put them to fruition 😂
But brainstorming alone. Not with an extrovert. 😆
Agree😘😘😍
So true 😂
My ex was a joiner/carpenter. I used to have brilliant ideas for projects for him. If his projects failed. That was on him not me. I'd just plan different ideas for him. I mentioned he was my ex right?? I can't think why he left me😄
Hahaha. This one gets under the armour
Recap: Limit planing, stay motivated by progress (no matter how small), take responsibility for the outcome (of doing it or not doing it), trust yourself, and give yourself permission to do what you want to do (unapologetically)! ✌️Now go out there and make a difference!
one thing I'm actually practicing lately is giving myself permission to do what I want instead of cramming my whole schedule into a meticulously planned routine, which, can be jarring most of the time
@@momokashira Yeah, you're right. I think it's a balance of both. You need to know when to work and get things done and when to relax. Otherwise you'll burn yourself out
Oh thanks. Btw m I the only one who makes notes whenever Frank post such video??? Anyone? Huh?
@@kittyshah8547 You're not alone. I just made some notes to put into my planner to keep me motivated :)
@@DasRaetsel 😇
1. too much introverted intuition
- always planning, limit it
2. avoidance of extraverted sensing (inferior function)
- we always try to avoid it, so we don't like doing things in the physical world, so we like to spend time in our heads and plan
- accept responsibility and do the things you have, look at them as necessities you have to do in order to accomplish your goal
3. you don't trust yourself (having extraverted feeling over introverted thinking)
- all IJ's and EJ's have this thing where they seem like they're bragging about what they're doing and their plans, but it's not an ego thing, it's just looking for validation as they want to hear affirmation of the ideas
This is literally me..and I'm am an INFJ-T
@@Tanzistr same
@@TanzistrSame
Thanks
It feels weird when other people can see your qualities but you can't. So trusting myself could be a big step and that's when I feel stuck. Sometimes it's like I am my own enemy. 😔
The only person that is truly stopping you is yourself.
I do the same thing :(
@@DasRaetsel But how do you get out of your own way?
I really agree with this. Then I feel so bad. What's wrong with me? :(
Omg I can relate. Also, to do almost anything to improve my life, I have to get influence from other people doing it themselves - I wouldnt do it otherwise, it can be as simple as muscle clenching techniques to help get me to sleep - know it works but I find it's useless unless I see someone else do it first.
"I don't need to write the book, they liked the idea of it" is the field many of my projects have died on
Exactly. My Music has not yet hit the world's ears. You nailed it.❤
I agree, this is exactly what's going on with me right now.💔 But I try comforting myself by saying "It's okay, I'll release my work someday"
Wow. Same. Why is that??????
Same!
For the first time in life, infjs are feeling extra special when Franks said:
SORRY TO OTHER 15 personality types this an INFJ focused video
XD
😅
It's like we exist now.
@@YaneMarieSleppy are you serious there are SO many videos on INFJs and people often put focus on the infj type.
YES I FEEL LIKE I EXIST NOW
You hit the nail on the head, dang. Especially wanting to start from square one because of perfectionism, lol. Thanks for all the really specific advice!
"YOU DON'T TRUST YOURSELF" Darn right. I don't trust myself so much that other people see it, and start to believe it themselves. By that point the damage is done and I end up proving myself right. We are a self-destructive type.
Sad, but true :-(
Self destructive is an understatement.
I can relate it well 😢
Let's change that.
the way I felt this in my soul omggg
1.) Limit planing- 0:57
2.) Stay motivated/Take responsibility- 5:29
3.) Trust yourself/ Give yourself the permission to do something for you- 11:37
Thank you for this
These are basically the reasons why i still haven't wrote a book that i wanted and the reasons why i am not getting better at drawing. I just give up easily....
And yes, when i am suppose to do something FOR SOMEONE ELSE, then i can move mountains, but when i want to do something for myself - i do feel like it's selfish...
[...]
I have to admit i got nice motivation from this video, i just don't know how long it will last...
"Make it last forevaaa"- a song by Keith Sweat. Real advice, tho👍🏼
I feel the same
Omg exactly same here. I can work and sacrifice 12 hr days like a machine for SOMEONE ELSE - but my own stuff.?! I spent 90% of my time being distracted- or have almost zero energy 🤦♂️
Stop sacrificing yourself so much. People are not learning as much from it as you expect. You deserve your own attention too. I know it's hard. And you probably already know it. But really, it's self sabotage. You gotta try to stop romanticizing your self-destructive altruism.
I'm an artist too! And I haven't been producing anything because I spend most of my time worrying more about other people than about myself. And I can't even be upset that they don't do the same in return, because I know it sucks. We need balance.
Philosophy , history, and deep conversation really helps me so much in getting motivated as a infj.
The Qur'an elevates someone.
I assume this really is the time a lot of us esp INFJs are feeling truly unmotivated... This came at the perfect timing. Thank you FJ ❤️
Deborah N no im just here like just in case i lose motivation i know thhs
@@EmiliaLevante lol
Deborah N ya. Unmotivated. Always was hard on myself for being lazy
I was literally creating depression by over-planning stuff that I genuinly love doing until I saw no point in doing it anymore because I had already lived it to such detail in my head. Cure: start doing stuff you have no idea how to do, and you can't plan ahead. Gives that introverted intuition a nice fresh playground.
“I’m here to save the world, not to figure out which version of quick books to use!” 😆 Me every time I’m confronted with a spreadsheet for the project I’m on.
Imagine having parents that understand your INFJ self. I swear I’m trying.
Tis a hard and taxing thing on the fragile infj frame, to not immediately set fire to imperfection... but alas *stops pouring gasoline all over myself*... at 5 am logic wins again, I’ll get to my to do list
Best comment I've ever seen. 👏🏻
I advise everyone to see it useful for your success bit.ly/Transformationall
This is so accurate, no one really understood me like this😭. When I study, or try to write my book, I always over plan so much that I don’t want to do this anymore.
Read the "War of Art" and "Turning Pro" by Steven Pressfield. They will help you enormously. Fellow writer here. You got this!
One of the most duh moments I’ve had about motivation came from reading a memoir. The author was talking about a conversation she was having with her therapist about how other people find motivation. The therapist told her : they’re no different than you. They don’t have magical motivation powers. Motivation has nothing to do with wanting to do something. It’s about doing it anyway. My mind 🤯
@Maria Filer so many times I've told myself "Just do it!"
The thing is when it comes to the art works and school projects 'Just doing' won't help much. Then we can only perform in average levels, not at our fullest. Smh
I laughed at the part with INFJ's asking everyone their opinion because when I have a difficult decision, I like to ask as many people as possible what they think lol... and oftentimes I already know in my "gut" what I want to do but I'm looking for that validation! It can be a very stressful and time-consuming process, but I think it's scary to act on an intuition when you haven't dug up the concrete reasons for it yet. As I've gotten older I think I've gotten better at trusting myself (after getting, like, four or five other opinions). Great video- thank you for this!
Hamlet must have been infj or intj - he talks about “thinking too precisely on the event - a thought which hath but one part wisdom three parts coward.”
Hilary Heriz-Smith wow that’s insightful! I’ve never read Hamlet before but that makes me curious 😂
Yep; Hamlet’s an INTJ.
"To be or not to be, that is the question..." very intj or infj....
@@bbnzn0024 I mean he does literally sit there and contemplate his revenge scheme for an hour. That's like what the whole super famous To Be Or Not To Be speech is about. Lol.
I’ve been spending an exorbitant amount of time planning on how I’m going to do things and getting very little actual work done, then wondering why I’m so exhausted in spite of the fact that I’ve actually done very little. This video made me better realize the ways in which I’ve been halting my own progress. Thank you so much!
6:15 "Which, in plain English means, we like to avoid doing things in the physical, concrete world. We just - We would rather not." I'm laughing so hard I'm crying 😭I've never felt so seen 😅
Right? Me too.
omg, this vid is from 2 years now but i’m impressed of how accurate it is. i think this example of “the idea of it vs it” got me, and understood why many times we just don’t do the project bc it’s even more important for us INFJs to get validation from it (the idea of it) vs actually doing it. that explains why sometimes i just get sooo hyped by the pursuit of getting smth, and when i got it, i just get bored and want something else.
wow. thanks for this video ❤.
This hit home. I find as an INFJ I also need to attack the execution part of my planned projects in smaller increments otherwise I get too overwhelmed and I will walk away.
I’ve always had a fear of responsibility. Even as a kid, I had it. My mum has always been a busy mom. And I could always see her stressed and troubled by workload or whatsoever. My mom told me that when I was 4-5 years old, I started crying. My mum asked me why and I said I didn’t want to grow up because of all the work we have to do. Now I don’t remember this but my mum sure does, very vividly.
Shouldn't we get paid for all this over planning? We can be the world's drawing board gurus😄
YES WE SHOULD. We'd be best prepared for when we take action.. whenever that would be 🤣
Yes! I got paid a lot doing preventive and corrective actions for companies! 💀💕
What do you do for a living? I think I want to be that lol @@GlutamicAA
@@XxEstudanteUFHDxX I changed careers a few years back. But you could work doing quality engineering for a manufacturing company. I worked for both food and drug companies. I preferred working at the pharmaceutical (more structure, more clean) they get audited by the FDA. It’s fun to “win” when you have everything in order!🤭
Binge watching videos about INFJ personality just to listen to someone who can relate to me. Been feeling like nobody understands me for what seems like ages. But then again, i guess ive been pushing everyone away.
Frank: to keep motivated set a limit to the planning and start.
Me: Plan to plan! Got it!
But no, all good points. Spot on.
This is super accurate. All projects exist in my head and are perfect, but the real nitty gritty is exhausting, and the guilt of wasting time on something selfish (even though it's CLEARLY my dream) is insurmountable. I've found what helps is writing for a short burst to get the frustrations out, setting up space and allowance for *some* planning at least, and allowing yourself to indulge in something that will fail for the sake of learning. So what? Sometimes you fail at stuff. It doesn't mean that defines you.
i see "INFJ" and "Frank James", i click.
INFJ here...it took me a while to get motivated to comment! but here it is...for the last few months I try to focus on the Why instead of the How for whatever I am doing. And that has been life-changing for me, because the How tends to get me stuck in the planning phase every time.
Every👏single 👏word 👏is 👏accurate 👏 af👏
I can’t believe how accurately you’re describing the mental process I go through. Problem is we can get a long way through life and not achieve much because of the anxiety & perfectionism.
I didn't tell my parents I was buying a house to avoid the problem of buying something they wanted then being resentful about it. I had guilt about it but it was worth it.
baizawai I think you made a good choice. Completely unconsciously, since a bit of time I stopped asking my (nice but quite judgemental) mother for advice on my plans. She would often mention stuff like "it doesn't sound like you" while yeah, I want to improve myself and not stay stagnant and try different things ! Like she thought I would fail, it was so demotivating. Now I just show her the results of my choices, and ask her advice on trivial things.
Good for you! I consciously avoid telling certain people things I'm excited about too if I know they're likely to be negative about it and put me off.
@@mariek.474 Your mom and my mom must be the same person I swear
@@mariek.474 I do the same thing
how did you buy a house in 2020? are you the 1%?
I always thought that there was something wrong with me, dealing with all these things. It's quite comforting to know that it's not just me, and that there are other people who think and act like me.
Lol that’s the reason why I want to burn my bullet journal every month. I see all of those plans that I didn’t execute and I hate seeing them over and over again
I recommend breaking your goals into smaller parts. And just try to do one or how ever many a day. You'll get there :)
I am an INFJ who has been trying to put together a project for over 3 years. After watching this video I understand what my issue is... Issues. When Frank said I could give myself permission to do things that I wanted to do it's like a massive roadblock collapsed and I could finally see how to move forward. I cried! Thank you Frank James! All of your advice has been extremely helpful! I really needed to hear it!
"like to avoid doing things in the concrete world" 😂😂
Do we have a forest around?
Nah, for real... To be able to do sth i get on a narrow road before the Sun rises and meditate on the cold ground with nothing but distant noises and nature surrounds me.
You expand your field of vision so much, you narrow your thinking... When in fact you are just allowing youself a bit more space.
My great ideas... Doomed to die in a reply comment:))))
When I focus my goals on solely benefitting others, I lose steam. When I focus my goals on what drives my soul, I have endless supplies of energy and motivation. I then notice that when I work on myself and what speaks to me, I’m more available for others and it translates at a deeper level (because I’ve internalized the goal). “Remember that habits, not ideas, are the programming language of human beings.”
On the other hand, are any other infjs thriving in quarantine? Finally an excuse to be ALONE
Thriving from absolutely basking in the solitude while slowly going crazy from absorbing the anxiety of others from the quarantine......
man 2020 was the best year of my life never been that productive before. But now it's over nooooo
Here is what I took from this vid hope it helps ♥:
1-*Plan to plan less* :
Do things instead of planning for so long put a big general well thought plan in a reasonable amount of time and start, it's okay to go back to planning as long as you're in the action but sometimes don't go back to planning cause that's the plan, things will always come up and you need to understand that they are part of the plan even if they're not written in it it's just life accept it and go on with it, and not start a new plan all over again, because that's how it mostly goes so you can do more in life and stay motivated cause you're doing stuff. Conclusiion plan well, plan less, trust your plan and go on with it embracing the flow going through things like a ninja...a ninja hahaha uhum sorry :3. lte's go on...
2- *Face yourself and you fears* :
Try to use more of your extroverted sensing and try out stuff instead of just your introverted intuition be open to stuff so you can have more room to grow and become a well-balanced healthy motivated person. Shortly said get out of your comfort zone, it really helps ^^.(You can do this don't be scared it gets easier and comes naturally to oneself with time and practice.)
3- *Trust yourself* :
Don't seek too much validation to stay motivated people don't need to agree with you on everything you do, tell them after.
Your opinion matters when it's about you and you know it's what you actually need, it's okay to see other perspectives and hear people's opinions sometimes when you are really unsure but mostly don't do it until you know you really need it. Treat yourself like a person too, and it's usually the right thing to do, don't change and try to please people because it won't take you places, and you need to go places ok? alright!? and going places is not selfish and you need to understand that it is also helping people cause you're being a better you in a better place that can help people better, and also you deserve it because you're a person too remember? so you're being less selfish and trying your best and that's all that matters just be just live. Basically, keep things private if you want them to happen and trust that you know what's right for you, deep down you know you do so just go with the flow ^^ just do it.
Thank you for reading, have a nice day beautiful people you're doing great xoxo.
No one :
Absolutely no one:
Infj and intj:
*I HAVE PLANNED EVERY MINUTE OF 2030*
🤣
You got me there (and the Quarantine happened out of nowhere drowing all my resolutions)
[INTJ here]
xD so what's happening on the 16th of March 2030 with you, I've planned to wake up at 10:32am
Facts
And ENTJs
Hi mature INFJ here, It’s going to be really hard not to listen to other people’s opinions to get motivated because of our extroverted feeling, but now I almost want to hear negative feedback and try to prove everyone wrong, I used to let it get to me and not do what I wanted, but being a mature INFJ is using our functions to our advantage, so continue to seek opinions from other people, when you get good feedback then you get on with it, when you get bad feedback you use the fact that you could prove everyone wrong and change peoples opinions on that subject to fuel your motivation. It’s a win win both ways.
Oh great,
I'm unmotiveted to do my college tasks and now I see perfect 23 minutes distraction
Yesss.... -.-
& is it just me, I know exactly how to do these tasks, I literally have steps on how to do it the best way possible but I just lack the motivation to carry it out..
@@Ahs0kaa exactly!
My motivational tips: 1) make the real life steps like quizzes with due dates in school, and don't worry about the final untill the end of the quarter when you have actually learned the material. 2) Make the messy stuff fun and like an adventure 3) do transitions in a way that makes you feel confident and ready instead of feeling like you still need to memorize the script again. Like text your partner before you leave work, or do push-ups before public speaking etc. 4) do one small thing every day just for your own joy without involving or telling/ asking anyone else about it.
... do you have a microscope pointed at my soul? This is why I cannot finish one of my seven novels!! 😱
Oh damn 😳 I was trying to figure out if I was INFP or INFJ and this video just confirmed im definitely INFJ 😂🥴 this video hit my soul 😂 I lol'd a few times its too real 😭😂
"You don't trust yourself!"
Ouch! But it's true. Thank you Frank for this great video! Thanks for calling us out but doing it in such a kind way haha. Much love to you! I love watching all your vids :))
As an INTJ, I too get lost in dominate introverted intuition, a real of ideas and concepts, extroverted sensing is my Achilles' Heel. Your point about taking responsibility for the mundane and it adding to the fire of a dream is so true.
Action invites further action, in order for something (a dream) to manifest, action has to be taken to make it real. Otherwise, it's going to remain in the mind.
Within first five minutes: I feel attacked.😂🤣😂 I literally started watching this just before I was going to plan out my entire week.
Miranda Harris 😂 same same
Not joking, this advice is life saving. I've been deadlocked for the last 2 years by lack of motivation, yet not being able to understand it's root cause.
I have to spend MORE than 30 minutes planning to build my rocket ship to Mars?!? I don’t want to do it anymore - ENFP.
By the way, great job! Good idea! 💖
Often, if I can’t get motivated, I make myself accountable to someone else. Fear of embarrassment gets me motivated to do it. 💖
Oh my god this is literally part of my every day life. It’s exhausting
Damn, this is so accurate! Just yesterday I was filming a video and after ~2 hours of editing it I got so annoyed that it didn’t work out as I planned, that I just deleted everything 😂 Being INFJ sucks sometimes 😆
Elīna Tropa don’t be so perfectionistic
Next time put it up anyway. You might be surprised. We’re only making movies, nobody will die if it’s imperfect. 💖
Ten Thousand Days of Gratitude That’s true 😁 I have to learn to be more empathetic towards myself 😅
The greatest advice is: start doing small actions. Once it's done, you'll fell better and more capable of continuing. For me, I think a lot about people and analise a lot, so it seems like I don't know about the things I studied and learned, and seems like I forgot everything I learned, but when you stop thinking (at least a little bit) and take a book to read, or take a walk observing nature, or do some mathematics, even simple, or draw something... Anything that you are 100% dedicated to it, you'll feel much better and motivated. I'm working on it this week, also I'm fighting anxiety and this helps a lot too.
i really hope Frank finds a partner he loves soon because we can’t let his genes waste like that
i hope he does whatever makes him happy c:
DarkMatterSquirrels h for Christ’s sake, he’s just a guy. You are drooling all over him, and I have to say, as much as I like him, and I really do, he isn’t done with life by any stretch, and whatever he speaks of is coming from the mouth of a 30 year old guy. Which is relatively young, in the grand scheme of life, and he’s a guy. He doesn’t know as much as even he think he does; but it isn’t his fault; it is his nature as an INFJ to draw conclusions. But they will change. He just doesn’t know it yet. It’s quite precious and incredibly frustrating at the same time. Too many female “fans” busy wishing he was their boyfriend.
@@quintuplebanned4267 nah I didn't mean as 'my boyfriend' just meant that in general.
:@@quintuplebanned4267 written like a true INFJ !
lmaoo
I'm an ENFJ but INFJs and ENFJs have the same functions, just in a slightly different order, but everything in this video was still applicable and MIND BLOWING how much I understand myself better now. Thank you Frank!!!
This feels like Shia LeBeouf’s “Just do it” for INFJ’s. Thanks for telling me exactly what I didn’t want to hear but needed to hear 🙈
others: stop avoiding doing things in the real world.
me: I said i will do it....eventually
INFJ here and you continue to blow my mind! It always feels like you're talking directly to me! Lol... and you're definitely Spot on! Great tips!
Point number 3 was so true it hurt. I didn’t know I needed to hear that but it EXPLAINS SO MUCH. I feel so relieved to know what’s going on now when I am “bragging” on the outside but feeling extremely disappointed with myself and like a hypocrite on the inside.
I'm gonna go plan how I'm going to apply these tips. One day of planning would do. Then I'll meditate on it, see it, feel it happenning, reach fulfillment in imagination, ending up not doing it in real life because I already experienced it, and start planning again so I don't fail next time. 💛 I love you too, FJ. 😂
"Limit your planning.."
My heart stopped for a mili-second. Ugh.
Frank with high Fe: shares plans with others for feedback & motivation.
Me with high Fi: gets irritated when people are too involved. just let me do my own thing.
Great video as always, Frank.
So if I put "Good Job!" stickers in my planner and supportive notes and sort of pat myself on the back instead of looking to others for validation, then I can train myself into becoming more independently fueled.
This is great advice. I want to feel like Calcifer 🔥🔥🔥
As a ISTP person, I will never understand what 'overplan' means.
Hwang_Nina as an INFJ, I will never relate
lucky
as infj, I relate to over planning
I think it means to exaggeratedly prepare for simple things.
It must be great to live like this.
I CANT HANDLE FEEDBACK
"good job" - great, i did it, now i can lean back
"that sucked" - guaranteed that i wont be picking that up again for the next month
I find a lot of people would rather chew their own arm off than give a pat on the back, compliment, or any support of something beautiful I've created. Others have no qualms about it and are always supportive. Even family has been that way and that's the worst. Some people do not like it when you do good or something good happens to you. They are jealous and resentful and seem to go out of their way to never say a kind word. Yes, we just want feedback on what we are doing. As a perfectionist since probably birth, but it showed it's face in Kindergarten when making a clay ashtray (which WAS the best ashtray in the class) feedback on how we are doing- if what we are doing is good- do people like what we've done- is important. Have a great day Frank!
I needed this with the whole situation going on. I feel like the longer I stay locked in my house the less I’m using Se and more Ni and I’m getting more disconnected from society and actually doing things, and I keep planning so much and doing so little
@@helenes4409 I'm exactly the same
I haven't even finished the video yet, but I'm an INFJ and I'm writing a novel right now. I really struggle with getting past planning and actually moving forward. This video really pinpoints exactly how I feel, and it was awesome that Frank James used my exact situation as an example. INFJs really do think alike.
a lot of this is the ‘trying to work out what everyone else is feeling’ thing you were talking about.. but tbh I have certain people now that know I need this, and I will just show them Part 1 of my project and they’ll be like ‘yay this is amazing well done’ and that helps motivate me to show them the next bit 😂 I think I’m just a very lucky INFJ with a couple of super supportive close people who genuinely want to see me succeed. We definitely need community even if we think we don’t!
I have youtube premium because i can’t stand comercials and i spend a lot of time on youtube, and for a while i was confused when frank did comercial cuts, but now i get it, i fell so dumb
For you INFJ out there, from an INFP: there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing something for yourself! ;)
And if you truly can't help yourself but only think of others, consider the following: taking care of yourself, making sure you are doing well and maybe even feeling good will make you stronger. It will make you more resilient and capable to do good for others. The more you take care of you, the better you can take care of others. That's whay I try to teach all my INFJ and ENFJ friends anyways.
Good luck! I believe in your projects! So go for it! ;)
Thank you for taking the time to comment that! ❤🙏
Wow, I cannot believe how much I can relate: you have this great idea, but you get demotivated because you've exhausted all of your energy in planning it or thinking about it.
“I’m here to save the world. I’m not here to figure out what version of QuickBooks to sign up for.” 😂
As an INFP, this was very interesting. I could very much relate to the first two aspects, and I'll definitely try to implement those things in the future. As for the last one, when you talked about the difference between INFP and INFJ, it was actually really eye opening. Because even though I might not like hearing that my idea sucks, or I might feel hurt by it, I find it so difficult to change my mind once I've come to a conclusion. It's because it took me so much to finally get to the point where I can confidently say 'I stand by this idea, it 'feels' right, so I'm gonna go through with it', that when someone disagrees with me, it's like... I cannot change my mind now. I've literally lost sleep over that thought and decision, planning every little thing out in my mind, perfecting it, and you cannot tell me now it's not right. Which really, really sucks, because I work as a designer and I sort of have to take feedback from people and change it the way they want me to, even if it causes me physical pain. Yeah, exaggerating here, but you get the image. So, really, I wished I was more like an INFJ, able to accept their feedback and twist my idea to please them. I really think I chose the wrong profession, now. I clashed with so many people while working on designs, and it's not because I think my work is perfect or I think too highly of myself, it's the opposite. I often look at my work and think how I have no talent at all, and I hate it, so I change it over and over and over again, until it seems worthy enough to be even shown to someone, and then they go and criticize it, and the fear of having to do it all over again and hating my work yet again is so consuming. So... yes, this was eye-opening, but in a way I wish I hadn't come to the conclusion because it really means I'll possibly never be able to work with and for other people in the creative field....
Probably late and all and I hope everything is a little better now. Firstly, no need to wish you are an INFJ, you are an INFP for a reason, and don't forget that this supposed weakness of yours can also be a strength in some cases and in others and just because it's not entirely helping you the way you want it to, doesn't means it's bad. What I would suggest doing is honestly do the person's idea and yours too at the same time, but that might be too stressful, and I can't really tell you to flow with it because then again, you need the consumers feedback. Slowly, but surely, I hope you'll find what works best for you. This wasn't the most motivating of speeches, but yeah😂. I hope you figure out what's best for you at the end❤️
I am a very similar situation being supposedly a infj. For me, the worst part isn't the acceptance of other's opinion (usually a shallow opinion in contrast with my intrincated and sometimes wrong reasons). The worst part is I know no matter what I say, my explanation will sound stupidly intense to them, so I have to simulate that everything is fine in order to look a normal person. But it isn't. That effort to hide how much proper things matter to me is an energy drainer. I also think designer isn't a good job for us, which is curious thus we usually are very creative.
I really, really needed this FJ. You posted this at exactly the right moment. Thank you :)
Motivation is definitely a big issue for me at times.
"I didn't come here to figure out what version of QuickBooks I should get." That moment when you remember FJ is an accountant.
I totally get the feeling of not being able to trust myself and always looking for recognition, but never getting it and then my motivation just dies all on its own.
As a homeschooling mama it is so fun to plan the the next 18 years for each of my 7 children's futures....and redo it 6 months later😂. Keep it simple mamas...meals, sleep, reading and activities, cleaning, and free periods...and then simply do the routine daily.
Homeschool momma here also!
The first thing Frank says is to AVOID overplanning,
which I can completely agree with but at the same time
I am also watching this as a part of my "how to motivate self" plan that has been going on for... quite a while.
“Unexpected details”. Yep
Only presented by an INFJ like yourself this can be so true and heartfelt and a true insight. I have been tested INFJ at many platforms and your videos like this one are helpful to me in a way I can see the story of my life narrated. I think f INFJs do all these things because we need to gather as much insights, emotions, inputs etc etc from the world around that while we are doing it and processing it, we re immersed in the process that we hesitate to deliver outcomes because we know there is so much so mcuh more coming from the Universe towards why deliver now..Let us wait another minute, hour, year, another lifetime..
"I can only plan for 3 hours and then I have to start writing the next chapter of my novel."
What about the first chapter of my novel??? 😂 yep, I've definitely been planning too much
Can I just say how happy I am you exist Frank? Thank you for everything
Getting the notification for this video when you've been staring at the cealing the whole morning hits in a different way.
This is exactly what is making my motivation plummet. The problem is I over kneaded every avenue of bread to the point that I don’t want to pursue any life track! I seem to work better when I just flow into things. The planning is killing my ability to stay present!
*His word stab me, just as he say, it's hurt so much*
As an INFJ This is one of the most insightful things I have come across. It speaks to the internal conflict that I have with people pleasing. It is so on point....and the point that you made of feeling like you have accomplished something just because you received validation is so true. Insightful!!
As much as I love your hilarious skits, it’s videos like these that warm my heart. Thanks for being an on-screen cool and attractive friend that I’ve always wished I had!
WHY IS HE SO RIGHT😢I never was able to name the feeling and that kind of bothered me, but the extroverted sensing thing is totally what I'm fighting. the introverted part is creating these well planned fantasies that i can retreat into for days, and although i did realize it was a problem i would just empty out my room and toss my phone and tell myself I'll die if i don't do it, and it's been working😂
Deadlines but they have to be real.
On another note:
I trust my judgement when it comes to projects. It depends on a creativity I have learnt to trust. Generally my projects work out quite well. I guess a bit of out of the box ideas. What I don't get is that I spread the work based on strengths of others and I do what leaders do (delegation and then working with others on their tasks giving them the lead on their area) some egotistical talker create the stirring of mutiny. I realised that while I am a strong leader in projects , I share the success/work so well others think I am a walk-over. I assert my leadership with cordial equality which has has people trying to overthrow my leadership.
Mini Bell sooooo true
This is basically explaining how I’ve been decorating my apartment I live in with my bf for over a year. I’m constantly asking him what he thinks about my ideas, and sometimes he just shrugs which drives me nuts.