To Anyone Going Through a Breakup
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- Опубліковано 12 чер 2024
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Nothing leaves you feeling more alone than heartbreak. You feel lost, afraid, and sometimes you also feel deeply unworthy. The worst part is wondering if you’ll ever feel happy again.
But there is a way to heal, and it starts with first understanding what the source of your pain actually is. In today’s new video, I share a way you can rewire your brain . . . not to ignore your grief, but to see it with fresh eyes and start to mend your broken heart.
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▼ Chapters ▼
0:00 - 0:47 - To Anyone Going Through a Breakup . . .
0:47 - 2:19 - Connect With a Newfound Sense of Peace
2:19 - 2:57 - Retroactively Looking for Red Flags
2:57 - 4:58 - If They Felt Like Your Perfect Person
4:58 - 6:00 - When They’re Not Revealing Their Doubts
6:00 - 7:51 - “How Do I Get Over Missing the Relationship?”
7:51 - 8:49 - The Idea of What We Had With Someone
8:49 - 9:35 - What Are You Grieving for?
9:35 - 12:13 - Happiness After Heartbreak
He broke up with me,told me I didn't deserve the way he treated me. Now I see that in my mind I had a love story very far from reality. He doesn't love me and does't care what I feel. It's been hard going through this break up but I know some day it wont hurt anymore. I wish you all the best!❤
🤗🤗
You’re bringing a strong and beautiful mindset to this, and I promise you as a result you will heal from this and move on to something better. ❤
@@thematthewhussey my boyfriend cheated on me whit his cousin I was hurt I’m don’t konw what to do 😢💔💔💔
@@thematthewhussey thank you very much!🥺
You dodged a bullet x @@SarahBogue-je4ky
My intuition always tells me when they’re deciding to quit but try to hide it because they can’t communicate their feelings ! I prefer someone to tell me the ugly truth and break up with me, rather than slowly torturing me,being cold,distant or ghost just to keep me as a back up plan.. that’s the most cruel and coward thing to do , I’m sick of it.
Hey, I hope you're doing ok
I'm recovering from something like this
We started dating in October, she even took the first step in kissing me and practically love bombing me
Starting January things began changing slowly, you know the story: less texts, excuses, cold treatment, and I can swear that I never did something wrong. I started panicking because I also watched how she and another guy started interacting a lot on Facebook. Come Valentine's Day and, fuck, just remembering makes me feel humilliated
I planned everything, got her a pair of shoes because that was my real feeling, I like making my partner have a good time
Anyways, that night she was so distant including the physical aspect, no kisses, no holding hands, nothing
One week later I confront her saying that I've noticed those changes and asked her "what's going on?" and she just replied "hmm I didn't expect this hehe, this is kind of awkward and I'd rather not confront these kinds of situations"
My heart was broken: in that moment I realized that she didn't care about my feelings at that moment
Luckily that long week and even when I got that text I was not alone
I just told her "ok, understandable"
She replied "I didn't think that there was any problem and you felt this way, thank you for telling me and hope there isn't any remorse"
Fuck that, really fuck that shit. Two days later posts a pic on IG about a movie implying that someone else took her out, and deleted a post from November in which we hanged out and I appeared in one of the pics
I went no contact from that day: no messages, every chat hidden, threw away all gifts and photos from her.
It has been a really fucking hard process, practically my instinct from January was not wrong after all and it hurts.
I've been going to therapy, got into gym and started hanging out more with my friends and also reconnected with my family
One of the most hard weeks in my life.
Yep my ex jezabelle Jayne always hoovering on off diff # s hurts bad to say NO must expect and reject Hoovers
he did that to me at the beginning it was a roller coaster of emotions , he would treat me so poorly and expect me to hush , then seen i wouldn’t leave so left me instead after i terminated :(
I've always said, you don't miss them. You miss the "idea" of them. And when someone tells you who they are, you need to listen.
@@kaderbn1121 Exactly! I learned this the hard way too. Not any more...
Facts 🙌🏾!
I need help I wish I had the money to see him I’m so stuck in pain and a deep heart brake I lost my fiancee in the year 2021 I met this guy in a month after I told him I needed to heal but he came to me with kindness and such love as if for a moment my fiancee was in him I tried to erase that thought, he gave me all the time needed I had no idea he would brake me more than my grief and deep sadness I’m so broken at this moment it’s so bad I want out and don’t know how to fight this hurt I want time to speed up so I can heal this guy has treated like shit and still I hurt not knowing what to do with me anymore I wish I could talk to h but listening to his voice and knowledge I’m hoping I will find some sort of healing in this pain
@@kaderbn1121 thank you for your advice I appreciate it’s been terrible since 2021 not healing my fiancee death properly then having another guy who literally told me he just used me for sex but this feeling of missing is out of my control I don’t even know myself anymore and it’s not that of me being insecure or jumping to casual sex because that is not me but this guy took a spot I allowed and pretty much just yesterday said he was done dancing with me I don’t know if it’s ego or I’m just not thinking clearly and not feeling myself at this moment but I’m beyond hurt the guy keep me on with crumbs, lied and perhaps slept with other females besides me but I guess what hurts is that I would never use or hurt someone like this nor lie to a person that was hurting only to hurt that person more.
@@kaderbn1121 thank you I’m not gonna give up on the God given hope that He has someone good for me regardless of my intrusive thoughts. I know the time will come when I’ll be completely healed and fine with being alone if it should be. I let love leave me because of a man that treated me like trash I hope to be better soon and someday love without having to give more than I did nor excepting less than what is not right for me. I’ll work on myself not to have expectations to receive a love wholeheartedly that we all are worthy to receive and very well deserved. I’ve been listening to his videos for hours now thank God for Mathew and if later on…I’ll definitely repeat my new playlist, looping until it gets through my thick head, blind heart and overwhelmed body and I’ll make time to read the Good news too. Thank you sis for sharing your kind words, I appreciate you comforting me with your rational thoughts. May you live a healthy, much loved and blessed life.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Her name is Chamani White, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
Same. Its easier to let go of him, as he cheated. But, I don't really not love him. there is no off switch to feelings i guess. Hope you find strength to heal from this.
so true matt...in their mind, theyve already moved on weeks/months before they actually let us know it's finished. they usually have someone else lined up!!
Ugh, so true. Tough pill to swallow.
I've been healing for the past seven months and counting. I deleted my social media and I'm trying to focus on my health. It sucks how things sometimes get better and sometimes they don't. It's been a truly rollercoaster of feelings, insecurities, and fear, but I look forward to healing completely. To be left by the person you love the most is the incomprehensible pain of all. Anyway, to anyone out there suffering from a breakup, never give up on yourself. May love come to find you and live calmly and truly inside of you
The month he broke up with me, I also received a rejection letter from my dream school, and the death of a family member. I felt like my life just turned to a dark chapter. I moved to another city, the one that is closer to my home so I could always go back to my family if anything happens. But then deep down, I have to admit that the reason I left (more like fled) was because of him. The day I packed my stuff I cried so hard, every corner of the apartment reminds me of him. It’s been eight months and I am still sad. I don’t know how to be happy again.
hey im going through something similiar right now. lost a family member last week, my ex gf broke things off with me 3 days ago. feels like someone pulled away a rug under my feet. i dont know who you are or where you are from but i sincerely hope you will find happiness again soon, hang in there.
I have had the break up where I no longer felt happiness anymore and every waking moment was like someone was extracting my bone marrow… a friend gave me a book called “it’s a break up because it’s broken” and it was the first time I had genuinely laughed in months. Get this book, and Matt’s of course, as it’s a how to guide for finding a tiny slice of happiness again ☺️
thank you, I am better now. I picked up new hobbies and tried my best to find fun. I hope you are also better now. @@Pillshere31
10 year relationship, 6 years of marriage ended. it wasnt my choice. he decided and i was never part of the conversation. we have both done things to hurt each other, but how could i help someone who refuses help? i cant. ive been processing and ive been lonely, lost, and hurt for so long. a lot of this video resonated with me. i missed him for so long and i know why now. when the divorce is said and done and i can move back to my home country, i can start to heal. i am not okay now, but i will be.
It'll be different, but it'll be okay.
Hope you're doing better now, sending love and light your way
My bf of 5 years was gradually distancing himself from me after I moved back home after being away for 1 year to build my career. I was too blinded by my love for him that it didn't occur to me that I felt insecure and anxious because of his lack of interest when we were together and minimal affection. When he broke up with me, he told me he was losing feeling for A YEAR and no longer saw a future with me. But now I have to thank him for giving me the opportunity to find someone who deserves my love.
Hi there, im going through something very similar as well, ended a 5 year long relationship. Wishing you all the best and happiness ❤️ We shall heal and move on to happier and better things ☺️
@@kimberlylim4539 Thank you so much for your kind words! Yes! We will get through to the other side! Our futures are bright ❤️❤️❤️. Wishing you happiness as well.
We will get through this, I’m still healing after 5years relationship 🫶🏾
I’m also going through something similar. I was about to move to another country to be with him after 5 years of long distance and traveling back and forth.
I feel like nothing is real right now.
@@fairydustmaidenfairydustma3486 It's unfortunate how universal this pain and hurt is for so many of us. It's hard to believe that someone you invested so much time and energy into could just part with you and not think of the history you built together. I truly wish you happiness and real love in the future 💖. I believe we can all get through these dark times and come out so much stronger and brighter that we could've imagined.
I felt it two months before he actually said it
The second type of grief will soon be a ticket to freedom and a big relief. Finally you can live again and look forward to things again.
When I look back at it, there were so many red flights that I chose to ignore. And what that got me was a person who ghosted me and when he finally texted me, he told me you are a good woman and you will find the love you deserve. You know what I told him you got that right I will find the love I deserve so f*** off.
It’s the ghosting without reason for me; my guy did the same thing. I’m so puzzled but I’m over it.
I also ignored red flags. I ended up staying too long, and putting up with too much, damagingly. It’s happened to me a few times before. I need to pay more attention to the early red flags for sure. I’m always the one that pays in the end.
I guess hard lesson learned, those red flags are your intuition, guardian telling you listen,listen, listen! But I'm afraid to say as women we always ignore that gut feeling...
I literally got told the same. She told me I was such a good man over and over while crying in my arms and being affectionate with me hours after she had already given her entire break up speech. She had told me she never wanted to see me again and yet she seemed to still be head over heels in love with me. Even when I saw her at her work a month later, she helped me with paperwork but looked like she wanted to cry and stood staring at me as I said thanks, bye, and walked out.
I am still confused about why I stayed this long and put up with so much crap. I know myrelationship was nice and comfortable and we loved each other but the 'red flags' were there and I kept ignoring them and in the end she decided to go anyway. I need to work on myself to figure out why I chose her over myself, disregarded my needs and kept trying to please her. This video made me cry thinking of the bad stuff@@jenmascaro4014
What stand out to me the most is that you are right that he probably had this idea of breaking up for weeks, months in his mind. Yet he did not tell me anything about his doubts which proves that at this point he is not able to communicate as openly and with honesty as I would expect my life partner to. This helps me better to stop Idealizing him. Moreover he was willing to hurt me by breaking up out of nowhere, without giving any hints, without any warning. He accepted to hurt me tremendously yet he decided to do it this way. I don‘t believe that MY person would be willing to hurt me this much… it’s a hard truth to accept but I have to shallow this pill. Thank you for your great work Matthew, you help healing hearts all over the world ❤
Most of the time it is not a communication problem. Often, our minds reach a conclusion swiftly, even before we act upon it in reality. It's not necessarily about harboring doubts, but rather needing time to muster the courage to have a difficult conversation
Hello this is exactly what I’ve been through now… they would always say there would be warning signs but my ex knew well I’m not the type to catch “hints” easily. I’m still in the phase where I’m feeling really mad and betrayed at how he didn’t even try to fight for our 9 year relationship… I’m processing all these feelings bc I just know one day I’ll get over it. I first begged to fix us but he was adamant there is no getting back to how we used to be and it’s been a week now and I feel very ashamed I begged to stay with a person who deliberately hurt me and doesn’t love me unconditionally… You’re right, for sure they have thought about this for months and decided to just flat out hurt me than trying to communicate first when the problem was developing.
Sorry for dumping all that, I’m still processing this terrible heartbreak.
Your comment made me feel better and solidified my thoughts to just completely move on, i just want u to know :) Thank you sm
@magnusVarblomst He was "collecting courage," you say, like we should sympatise with him. But i see it differently, like he was mastering manipulation tactic upon her trust. He was just using her body. As soon as smth better came up, he dumped her. Player.
@mayi4741 he didn't try to fight for your 9 years relation because he knew all along he will dump you when smth better will come up. He was keeping you hooked so you wouldn't confront him and dump him first. You should feel ashamed! Shame will keep you from doing same mistake. Your mistake is that you let him disrespect you for too so long...
@@Verase787 I can only speak from my experience, I cannot read somebody elses intentions. I don’t stay in a relationship if I don’t want to be with that person, simple as that. But in the past, the willpower to be able to break up when your “so” is still excited is tremendous, specially if you respect her. It may appear easier to postpone the conversation, and sometimes you even lie to yourself hoping that you will regain the spark, that you may never have to crush her feelings. Don’t just assume bad intentions from people, you will be happier
The fact that my ex thought about the breakup for a while yet never properly communicated to me-and left because that spark faded 🙄-is something of which I try to remind myself when I'm missing him.
What makes me feel better, though, is that he thought he could have me as a friend after the breakup, but I declined. I don't want to be friends with someone who took me for granted. I was still putting in effort when he was withdrawing, and now I've come to realize that the person who is actually deserving of my love is someone who will appreciate it.
Thank you, Matt, for opening my eyes ❤️
The fact that he was using you mentally preparing to break up and after the breakup suggested staying friends means his intention was malicious. You don't need a dishonest "friend". A friend does not take advantage of a friend's vulnerability... Do not believe him he cares deeply about you, he just wants to wash off his ego, he wants so much to be proud of himself at your cost. As much as your ego wants to reclaim your worthiness.
My situation is about exactly the same
Absolutely I had to leave the long distance narcissistic gf
@PowerOfQwerty
Wtf are you talking about.. stop trying to lie to yourself and make him the worst enemy just to feel better lmao.
The reality is, these topics are hard af to confront and deal with. He didn’t break up immediately when that thought came to him because the person his with obviously means something to him, and he was most likely pondering his future and what would be the best decision. Mixed feelings of wanting maybe something else but also knowing there is a lot of good in this person and she might be the ideal partner, but there is just that nagging feeling that something is not right. And then you go back and forth that maybe you can fix your own mindset so the thoughts about break up go away, so you don’t communicate these thoughts to the other. No communication is also because talking openly about those thoughts can lead to the other person breaking down and becoming distanced themselves to ”prepare for the final blow”, not believing your ”feelings” anymore, which the person wants to avoid if they still feel like it could still work. Obviously communicating and working together would be better, but there are risks of ruining the relationship by communicating if the other one is mot mature enough to receive the news.
Wanting to stay friends is not malicious at all, jesus.. It’s the fact that again, this person means much to them, and he respects her as a person despite the fact that he can’t see romatic future together, so he would like to keep you in his life as a friend.
Especially if they have been together for a while, it makes perfect sense to stay friends in a way if nothing nasty caused the break up; this person has been the most important thing for that time, and to throw that person away completely is just dumb. Of course that is a norm because people like to make ex’s the enemies like you just did, but it makes no sense. This of course needs the knowledge that men and women can be just friends; only all the low IQ people can think ”that is just to use her for pleasure afterwards”…
Yes, I’m speaking of experience. Of course million if different situations, and this doesn’t apply to everyone, but that comment about him sutomatically being malicious is ridiculous and crazy
@@grydon6422 "WTF" is a bad start for such excessive reply on my comment... I see u invested time typing LMAO, I appreciate it.
Listening to these videos more and more i am now at a point to believe relationships are not even worth it.
As a man watching Matthew's channel for years, I just want to appreciate his glow up since he got gold ring on his finger. He's living the dream.
after over a year together, He led me on thinking he was happy. How do I not feel disgusted knowing now that all of my memories were lies? I kissed him thinking it was reciprocated. I cant help but think that this entire time I spent with a statue of a man I believed to be real. and then he sent a goodbye text and walked away like i meant nothing. no ounce of love left in his eyes.
That happened to me. He was so sincere, said he loved me, acted like it, so happy to have me in his life, blah blah blah. We never argued, had common hobbies we loved, laughed together all the time, showed affection, etc. Then come home one day and he was gone. People lie and then leave. It's been 7 years since that happened. I'm still single, don't trust anymore. I'm happy and peaceful alone. Screw relationships.
I broke my own ❤, i created a fantasy on my head that was far from reality 😢.
I hope this heartbreak series continues because sounds like a lot of us need it
I went through the video feeling determined and motivated, finally wanting to actually moved on. I was smiling, agreeing, and everything.
Until 11:43 "I'm so sorry that you're in pain right now." made me tear up and I had to pause and take a few deep breaths.
I guess I needed to hear that.
wow! the part about 'they moved on months before' is so striking! never saw it from that angle
Now I realize he def had a different experience in the relationship than me because I was trying so hard to make it work without realizing he was over it and moving on long before it needed.
The bridge between two perspectives is communication and honesty. Sadly, I was not offered this but this realization will do wonders for me. Hope you heal soon xoxo
1 month post-breakup…it’s the worst pain I’ve ever felt. She was my dream girl
How are you doing? I’m so hurt and feel like I can’t get over it
Guys please help
I cheated on her a while back
It was a one time thing I messed up in that situation and hid it
She found out and broke up
Idk what to do
I can't eat breathe I feel so numb
@@andersspencer I know what you are feeling. I still can’t sleep, eat and have panic attacks. Please pray right now. Try to stay calm. I’m here for you cause I know your pain now
@@frankgeary7574
I don't know what to do
I want her back so badly
It's so hurting knowing I broke her heart where she loved me the most
I don't know what to do
I love her
@@andersspencer I wish I could fix it for you because I’m in the same boat. Are you guys still communicating? Obviously she will have to trust you again. And that takes time and effort. She has to want to forgive you is the biggest thing I have learned. You can help with that by being honest from here forward.
It’s been 3 years and I can’t get over..
It’s the love of my life I sabotaged myself and ruined everything
You really shouldn’t blame yourself. Don’t be too hard on yourself
I experienced this for the past 6 weeks. He told me he knew but was going back and forth. He was distancing himself emotionally and physically... I was feeling unsafe. I reacted the way an anxious person would. He pulled away more. One day, he just lashed out at me when I was unwell at a spa. I knew then... but I was hoping to still salvage it, but he gave up. I take responsibility that I contributed to its demise
I have poured into him so much. But when I wanted Romantic nights, flowers, hugs and kisses, he told me he’s not Romeo and I should go find what I want. 😮💨😔 he told me this 3 months into the relationship. I left and I feel so much peace and safety, and that is something he didn’t provide as well.
I understand the heartbreak of divorce. I've been there. After years of dating and doing my inner work, I'm glad my ex wanted a divorce. I'm in a much better place mentally, and I enjoy my own company. I don't need a man in my life to live a full life. If I want to have a relationship with a man, it will be because he adds value to my life as I add to his. It won't be because I need him to survive or to fill some void. Do your healing and continue to become your best self. It will lead you to the right person for you. Thank you, Matthew, for all of the important work you do! You are much appreciated. ❤
I feel so happy I came across this video/ i feel broken after being broken up with. I felt like I lost my happiness and literally my purpose. I made this person my god and I regret it so much
Same right there w u but I had to leave hurts left so many x too
i relate to this comment so much it’s because we sacrifice so much for them but we shouldn’t we should fill our own cup now and fill into ourselves !! They don’t deserve us let’s pour into ourselves ❤️❤️🙈
Yep ignored another email hoover cuz # i blocked
I feel you.
When people say love is blind, this must be what they meant. We can become blind to the reality of the love, choosing instead to focus on the love story we wanted and hoped for. It's time to lift that veil from my eyes and see exactly how little effort was being expended on his side, how much his silence and distance gave me anxiety when I'd never had this level of anxiety before, how much I questioned my own worth and value because I wasn't getting the responses I wanted from him. It hasn't been easy to face the truth, but it's such a necessary part of this journey. Much love to all the broken hearts out there! You are not alone, and you are stronger than you feel right now ❤️🩹🫶🏻
I haven’t written a book but I’m one of the best “story tellers” I know …time to stop! I’m 65! No more time to waste😮. Looking forward to your book ❤
Love this comment! ❤️🩹
You just hit the nail on the head. I always felt anxious and insecure and like he was gonna cheat on me or leave me. I would have nightmares that he would leave all the time. And I’d share my anxieties and fears with him and he’d always reassure me that he wasn’t going anywhere, that he was gonna marry me. 5 years later, he was gone in 2 weeks. Out of no where. I’ve never felt such pain. But you’re so right, there is peace in knowing it wasn’t me that was insecure.
Thanks a lot for sharing, you did a really great job! 👍🥰👏
Thank you so much 🤗
@@thematthewhussey It is my honor, thanks to you too! Welcome to Taiwan any time! 👍🥰👌
Matthew you have 100% described my current pain ,,,i broke up with my gf 2 days ago and the pain is so drowning me and i know with people like you ill be okay very soon....thanks man may God bless you more.
Dear Mr and Mrs Hussey, this is an extremely healing channel; I’ve been here quietly since years through which, there have been so much loss. All through that and even now where once again, I have lost something so dearly loved, your channel provides me hope and uplifts. I do not merely want to be a taker and therefore, will definitely order your book Mr Hussey. Indeed gratitude for showing up consistently and, giving so much of yourself. Your own maturation and the rise of this channel’s quality (if that could even be possible), has been a beautiful things to have the privilege of observing.
Watching the Heartbreak Series made me realize that you’re speaking and asking questions FOR us and ON BEHALF OF us. To help us. Not just for your benefit or making an interesting interview. It may seem obvious now but that honestly didn’t click for me until watching these. Thank you so much.
This helped so much. I ended it but because I was going crazy with the insecurity and feeling unsafe going down the rabbit hole of my old triggers. But needed to hear this. Thank you
Your videos are like vitamin D for my soul. Warmth and love in your aura radiates to your audience. You are a huge part of stage 1 to my healing. 12 and 1/2 year relationship
Ended suddenly. Trying to fall apart and rebuild. Because only new seeds grow when buried! When I bloom, my beauty will make another smile.😢😊 Blessings.
Hello. 10 year relationship ended in November of last year. Im really trying to move forward. My emotions are all over the place, some days okay, other days Im angry, sad and confused.
I meet a girl 4 months ago and everything went perfect. I thought that I’m gonna marry her and care for her even if our time was short. Last week she told me that she meet another guy three days before and he will be the right one for her. Im feeling betrayed and never thought this kind of pain exists. I hope I can heal from this, look at this text in the future and be proud that I could get out of this. Blessings for everyone reading this
This guy gets it. I’m buying this book. I’m buying every book. You are spot on. I’m struggling so hard and you have helped me so much. Thank you so much for making this video for those of us who have no one to go to. Thank you. Truly.
My somewhat of a relationship (a month in duration)was an unshared beautiful reality. It was initially beautiful to the both of us but somewhere along the lines, his feelings changed but the enjoyment of the reality still felt great to me. Unfortunately, the last weekend I saw him, I felt a coldness and the fire in the relationship was reduced to smoke. It felt like I was physically going through the motions but the once beautiful reality was null. My Achilles heel, is that I love too hard, and too strong, too early. I know I will get over this rather quickly, because self-reflection has allowed me to get the lessons I need(ed) to learn in order to heal, grow, and learn how to love at a different pace. I’m not angry or bitter; I’m rather grateful ❤️
Last but not least, thank you, for this amazing video❤
‘Surviving a breakup’ is the right title. I literally almost didn’t survive the last one and, while I cannot say I’m fully healed, I would never trade the way it transformed me for not feeling that pain. Matthew’s advice was instrumental for this, deeply grateful❤
just got dumped after 13 years... 2 little kids... i can't believe this is happening to me. Im completly chattered ... i just wanna wake up from this nightmare
I've been having a very hard time, and this video was exactly what I needed to hear. I'm going to save this and come back to it when I need encouragement over the next few weeks. Thank you!
Thank you for this video. Sometimes we need to hear a hard reality in order to accept and learn to heal
you are so spot on. i felt so insane the last couple months and insecure and had no idea why
There is something about this guy that is just approachable and kind and very non threatening. Like compassionate. Thank you for your work here. These videos have helped me open my eyes in ways other videos haven’t. It’s like I can accept that what has happened to me there was nothing wrong with me. That I do deserve to be happy and it wasn’t something I did or something that was broken in me. I am really breaking by free from my attachment to my soon to be ex spouse and it feels so good. A lot of videos of narcissism or emotionally unavailable apply to my ex spouse. Abandonment betrayal lies and gaslighting, been through a lot but feel stronger now that I have stood for my values and what I deserve in the end even though is stayed at first. I have forgiven myself for staying but I was beaten down from his abuse and lack of care and didn’t know there was a thing called trauma bond. I have been consuming information and glad I stumbled on this.
BEST breakup advice ever given. Period. Thank you Matthew Hussey.
Thank you so much. ❤
So true. Breakups don't happen out of the blue.
4:49 wow you are literally describing my situation in detail!
I overlooked many things thinking that they happened because the honey moon phase was over when the other person was probably already going through the break up in their mind. I didn't pay attention to the moments when I felt hurt and not appreciated. However, I'm wondering what's the lesson for my next relationship? I think so far, that I should compassionately bring it up and see what they say, without making strong demands and see what comes up. Because on the one hand, I don't want to suffocate the other person with my anxious attachment style but, on the other hand, I also should value my needs and check how important the other person thinks those needs are for them.
You opened my eyes to see that the relationship that I thought I had, never actually existed. That we were having completely different experiences. And that I didn't lose nearly as much as I thought I did.
Thank you for this video!
You’re so welcome
I am married not happy he is just using me and put me down now I am involved with other guy but he lives away right we are talking to be together soon. Please help me.
My relationship of yrs just ended
It hurts so much 😭😭😭
Sending ❤❤ from Nigeria 🇳🇬
Each word of yours is gold!! Like someone pierced my mind and understood what I am feeling or confused about! Thanks Mathew!
"Different planets even if you're in the same room" Preach!!!! 💜💜💜
I've not been in a relationship for years, I didn't even accept any offers because I always knew how it would turn out.. I would give my soul and in return I would be left holding an empty space and then have the impact of seeing them with someone else very quickly so it's easier to stay as I am and I'm so use to it now it doesn't bother me. My channel is more important to me and it gives me hope for my future. Thanks Matthew your a good soul
Another great video! Thank you Matt! I can't wait for a book to arrive in April! ❤
I hope everyone starts feeling better.
please dont ever stop making videos. you are saving me right now of so much torture.
I have similar situation, terrible pain, trauma after he left me. Desperately looking for help. I found this video, this great man. Maybe it will help a little bit
I broke up with 6yers old relationship.i felt always my guilty because i was rude to her and toxic. I thought like that but after i watched these type videos i feel different. Yes i was bad and have to make my mistakes right way but there was no resone to balme me because i did so many good things. I gave my full effort to love her and protect her. Thank u make like this videos. This is so help full to understand worthy of our self.now I'm trying to just let them go and expose my self to the world. ❤
This video is so freaking wise and helpful. It’s saving my life. Thank you Matthew.
Very good point! There's always a feeling that something is wrong. It is impossible to explain how it works, but this is real.
I no longer feel ignored, even though we are not talking anymore
I just lost the love of my life through a breakup and really needed something to help me deal with it...Some words, advice, wisdom. Matthew, you touched on all the thoughts and feelings I was/am experiencing. This clip helped me so much! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!
Time heals brother
He broke up with me after nearly 7 years. He fell into depression, and around three monthes in he broke up with me. For those three months he said that he doesn't really feel the love, cause he doesn't really feel anything, but he knows that he loves me and sometimes its there and other times he just doesn't feel. Then after three months of this, which were so hard on me (and him as well) he broke with me saying that for the past week or two he stopped loving me entirely. I broke down but then relaxed and told him that i still think I'm the love of his life, and he said "i know". And he decided to break up. My friends say that he will wake up and realize he messed up. But i don't think so. He truly lost all feeling to me. I hope he's ok. And I'll find someone who will love me through everything.
Matthew you are saving lives you deserve the best ❤
So timely video 🙌🏼
Low key gaslighting and had to self regulate due to his high functioning anxiety. Had to learn this with therapy. We are no longer together but my growth journey will continue. Thanks for this 🙏
If you're ready to move on from your break-up, I have a very powerful series that will help you finally find happiness after heartbreak. All 7 of the powerful conversations in this series will be yours for FREE simply for pre-ordering your copy of my new book, Love Life. For all the details, head over to HeartbreakSeries.com now.
It's taking way too long, mate, can't wait! I have pre-ordered it. Should have been much quicker. You know that the heartbroken brigade can't wait for this that long. We need your immense help to heal through that book. All in all, really looking forward, Matt!
It’s really hard to move on from the guy, I actually love, he cheated on me then I felt alone he hurt me. I can’t move on from anything worng to him but he cheated on me 💔😢😢
Matt is truly the best! ❤ I listened to him for 5 years on You Tube. Sorry Matt, I have healed mentally, spiritually and emotionally. ❤
I am sure those who buys his program will heal much faster than listening You Tube videos. Get them today!
my ex started distancing himself and the relationship went from “i want you to be the mother of my children and us get married and live happily ever after” to me (i say this with no pride) begging for a spec of attention. after i had him over for a holiday and he met my entire family i thought this was it. he actually told me he thought of breaking up. after that it was horrible. then he did molly and decided that he was leaving the country (supposedly) and that he could not provide or be responsible for me. i broke up with him over the phone. 1.5 years of my youth down the drain. i still mourn the relationship though but this video is helping me not focus on the positives.
Been in a relationship so good I could consider it unreal. We have been together all 4 years of college, but we live across the country from eachother, yet we still started the relationship knowing that, college is ending now and we are pretty sure this relationship will have to end as well. This relationship was the best, we encouraged eachother to be better, we were supportive, loving, everything, this is something so good that it’s perfect, and I’m afraid, I’m afraid to be alone again, I don’t know how I’m gonna move on. I don’t know what do, and I’m scared…
Fabulous. Going through a breakup now and this is certainly a game changing thought!! THANK YOU
I felt insecure through my entire relationship. I moved to another state, started a new job, rebuilt my entire life to be ghosted in the end. To figure out, he moved on while stringing me along, to finally saying "This is over" and having to comfort myself with the fact that It was him, not me. To only find out, I was always plan B, never plan A.
23 years down the toilet. Took us 10 years to be able to have children, wife survived cancer, i died and came back and now she wants a divorce. Living nightmare
Perfect timing I needed to hear this 🙏🏽
When my counselor kept asking every week "How long can you keep doing this?"when I finally told him "I'm done..and I'm sorry". 3 days later I was served with divorce papers. He already had a lawyer. Already had divorce papers ready. I was shocked. But it was "my fault". I'm the one that said it out loud. But he was gone months (maybe years) before. And that's really what lead to the divorce.
That’s me. I had so much anxiety towards the end I thought I was going crazy. He first asked for a pause (for him but he said for me), then 2 weeks later he broke up with me. And the worst part, it was before our flight 😢 I think he has already checked out ages ago. He’s not the right person for me, just the right time. His words didn’t match his actions. He never deserved me. He mislead me. He was lovebombing me at the beginning. Once he had me, he didn’t want the relationship anymore. He was just chasing a feeling.
I felt so insecure I wanted to peel my skin off. I was self-harming (hitting my head, slicing my wrist) and had anxiety attacks during our relationship. I felt so unsafe that I can get triggered easily. When I'm around, he falls asleep within five minutes, while I can't sleep with him being around. I felt so unseen, inexistent, invisible ane ironically unloved by him. Having undiagnosed bipolar I disorder made it even worse.
I completely understand...I hope you are healing ❤️
The good news is that there is light. There is peace after the complete meltdown 🙏
I felt your compassion through this video. Thank you for helping me heal.
Hey guys... I am going through a really bad time right now. I had a girlfriend who was getting married; we were both in a living relationship, and suddenly all this happened. I can't do anything because the boy is a software engineer for a good company, so he is an absolutely perfect boy for the family. I also thought about it and then felt that his salary is much more than mine, so 100% he will give her a better future. Right now, there is only struggle in my life. But now I know that talks have started between them, and the families have accepted everything. This is the reason, but now I don't have any friends with whom I can share this because I know there is no benefit in saying it; if I tell my friends, then they will make fun of me. Please, someone talk to me, friend. Being an introvert, typing this message for me is a very big thing. I want to share my feelings because I am feeling very strange alone. I know you might find this funny and immature, but trust me, this is very tough for me. Please, someone talk to me.
You showed reality Matthew. Sometimes i
feel how can you be so
real about our experience...reality is far different than our love story in our mind that v build up or thought. Its easy to move on with second grief..much love to you Matthew ❤
.
A few months before she broke up with me I told her I was feeling some intense stuff, she didn’t say anything. I brushed it off, told myself it was cause she was busy with work and her family. Looking back she was moving on mentally like you said, I made excuses for her but I wasn’t getting what I needed from her.
Can’t wait for your book!
I hope everyone watching this video finds closure and peace. Know that we're all going through the same pain. Stay strong friends, and trust in God 🙏
You are so right about feeling insicure while my partner is already having doubts about out relationship...
I'm just so hurt, and this is the only thing that helps
This is helping so much thanks Matt
This has helped me alot. My boyfriend of 10 months broke up with me. I was devastated, but I now remember feeling like he was very disconnected in our relationship and I now know why. He didn't have the same feelings for me as I had for him all along and it wasn't as great as I tried to make myself believe!
My relationship of 4 years ended a week ago. It was out of blue, I'm sad and heartbroken. But hopefully the pain goes away soon...
this is exact what I was looking for at 12 am after 2 days of breakup
I absolutely loved it. I'm currently going through a relationship, and I must say that I had a very abdominable feeling and insecurity when he wasn't opening up. After some days, he told me about his cheating, and everything was finished soon. I'm trying to learn from my past, and practice self love to be better next time.
Wait, I gotta watch this with a cup of tea ❤
Love it. ☕️
Thank you so much Matt 😢😢😢
Thank you Mattew for your video, extremely useful for me now. My boyfriend broke up to me very out of the blue and didn't give me chance to improve or last our relationship longer. But you were right, when I look back his impatience, unpredictable anger and desire for too much personal space are red flags and I can get rid of them now. Indeed, when you feel insecure for no reason, it is more likely a hint to the end.
Literally going through the same thing. Was in denial that I should let go but watching videos like this bring me back to reality bc I catch myself hoping … it’s the fear of actually letting go and giving ourselves the respect we deserve
After 5 years he just ghosted me. It broke my heart. Thanks for this helpful video!
Man these videos resonate with me a lot... I really felt like I had lost my perfect person when she broke up with me, but I can see a little better now that she was already moving on long before I even knew it was over. The signs were there, she wasn't very interested, kind or present to me even though she is generally a lovely person to be around, because she was working up the courage to break up. I will still take time to grieve, but I know that the right thing to do for myself is to keep her at a distance.
Now she wants us to be friends in the future when I've 'gotten over her' after a decent period of no contact, but I realise that she just feels bad about herself and wants me around to lean on whilst simultaneously moving in and being happy/seeing other people. She even says 'I still have a lot of love for you but I no longer am in love with you' which just makes me feel more confused. I'm no longer going to reply to her messages or let her string me along; I'm going to leave her behind.
Thank you so much, Matt.
I watched one of your videos about when he won’t commit and isn’t sure. I used the “I think you need to go away and find what you want.” It helped take the pressure off. He didn’t say anything. I handed him things and drove away.
Hello Matthew Therese here writing to you I have just bought your audiobook from Amazon I will buy the paperback soon your a brilliant very kind understanding coach that's what I need right now look forward to hearing your book soon big crafty hugs Matthew
I think that we never lose anybody, it is just an illusion that we think we do, as we often count on the other person to fulfill our own happiness. We can only lose ourselves in our grief, yet to find our life purpose again.
He was not a great boyfriend, but he was a really good friend. I just wish we never started dating and could be friends now
This was needed but really hurts to hear. I thought our relationship was perfect and we were going to have a future together. I thought I had finally found it (and trust me when I say, he led me to believe he felt the same way).
While he was breaking up with me, he said he'd been feeling this way for a few weeks. (He "couldn't do it anymore" said he's still in love with his ex girlfriend...)
As soon as he said that, I realized I had noticed tiny signs but I ignored them because I thought I was being silly/the honeymoon phase was over.
It's been almost 3 months and I still can't accept that we're not supposed to be together. Your videos are slowly helping me get through it.
I have to believe there's someone else out there.
😢wow.. I am sorry you went through that. I am going through something similar..and day to day I keep looking back this relationship and realizing the red flags I ignored. I also thought I was being silly but again it's not easy not to think that when you're being loved bombed.
@@DefiningBiology I'm really sorry you're going through it too. It's the worse kind of pain...
I'm such a romantic, it's really hard to accept that love bombing is a red flag. I knew from the moment I met this man so it didn't seem crazy or "too fast" to me. But now I know I need to unlearn that, it's not doing me any good. I hope we both heal from this soon ❤️
I absolutely love your videos and you hit home on so many real emotions for me and I love and appreciate your guidance so much!!!!
You made me cry. But, it was something I needed to hear...
Wow. Yes! I felt insecure all the time and people kept telling me how lucky I am. It turns out, my feelings were very much correct and I did not even know it.