Das Ranting: Mervin Reads! Twilight Illustrated Guide (Episode 11)
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- Опубліковано 1 жов 2024
- Episode 11! Sorry it took so long--had a vacation in the middle of it all. But now they are finished--the Volturi, that is. I know I say there will be a wait in between them, but, seeing as there was already a wait, that won't be happening. Look for the next episode soon!
On Heidi and how Volturi kidnap their food: Twilight is supposed to be set around 2005, but what happens in a few years when Twitter comes charging in? Can you just imagine the Tweets of the Volturi's would-be victims as they go into the castle?
The last one was from "Daybreakers," right?
About that, MelinaPendulum once brought up a good point; why don't the evil vampires enslave humanity and farm them for blood? Meyer goes on and on how us pathetic humans wouldn't stand a chance against her creations, so what's stopping them? And no, goodness of heart doesn't count because none of them have that (even the "good guys").
Wait, why did Aro hear about them when they were toddlers. THEY WERE TODDLERS. What skills did they display, AS TODDLERS, that were so interesting to him? That duuuuumb.
@hmschocolate
Rifftrax had this line during the New Moon movie.
"Italian Police issued a statement today once again reiterating that, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, tour groups should stop going into that Castle. "
For Heidi's profile, all I could think was that someone accidentally clicked the 'indent' button on Microsoft Word.
The sad case, about Jane being kissed by Aro despite being eternally pubescent...it used to be a lot more accepted before the late 19th century. In the 11th century, even marrying, and having sex, with a NINE year old, is fair game. Morally. Even if the guy's 40. These kids should've seen the world evolve, and witnessed every human suddenly start caring about what used to be 'normal' and never seen as an issue. But Meyer would never say anything about it, cause it's indeed, not about Bella.
I never EVER thought Jane and Alec were kids. And wait a minute, Renata was less than TEN when changed (according to the dates, even though the profile insists that she's in her twenties).
Shame that not only can Meyer not do math, but her minor characters have infinitely more potential than her precious Bella and Edward.
I knew I couldn't have been the only one who was thinking that Jane would use her pain power in sex lol. Also, I like to think that with their powerful abilities, they, along with Chelsea really the ones in charge of the Volturi. They could take over with Chelsea if they wanted.
Yes! I'm not the only one who thought SMeyer doesn't understand love. That could not be more clear to me.
Honestly the Volturi Guard is pretty much the only thing I liked about the books. I liked the idea of *next post
Wait a second. Possible plot hole & a massive one at that. Alec cuts off all the senses; the PHYSICAL senses. With how it's presented, that would mean is given is, at the very least, not all mental. Smeyer says that Bella's shield is MENTAL in nature & what it protects against. If the attack is of the physical, it's useless. Her shield would NOT be able to protect against his power. It could be decently argued that Bella & her shield could LESSEN some of the effects of Alec's power but certainly not anywhere near all of it. That means super duper speshul snowflake Bella would FAIL at protecting the Cullens in Breaking Dawn. The Volturi would still have won basically immediately in the "fight." I'm putting the word fight in quotations since Alec's power would make it where there wasn't a fight AT ALL. Maybe that's the real reason for the total anticlimax of the book. Smeyer knew damn well her precious Cullens wouldn't have won in that fight since they couldn't have nullified Alec's power even with the super duper speshul snowflake in their ranks. That was too much of a beat down to Smeyer's ego since Bella is Smeyer.
Probably a good thing Meyer didn't do Asian vampires; I don't want to know how she'd screw them up. Heck, I don't even want to think about the stereotypes she'd use for them.
Sam and Dean, kicking Twilight's ass, Winchester style
i realise it's a stupid thing to cling to (blame my sanity trying to save itself by making me nitpick instead of focusing on the whole, disgusting picture), but Alec's lips are so much fuller than Jane's.
i mean, it wouldn't bother me at all, but since that's one of the only pieces of description we actually get given here, and there are no illustrations to go by, only actors...
yeah.
brilliant work, as usual. you definitely deserved your holiday. good luck with the next installment! ♡
About the "red/black (vampire)" thing, the only explanation I can think of is that Meyer couldn't be bothered to decide what color their eyes were as humans. The "(vampire)" is just so we know that their eyes are that color as vampires, not as humans. The Cullens don't have that because she told us the color of their eyes as humans.
I don't think Meyer realizes just how long some of the Volturi have been together. Even without Chelsea or Corin, it would be hard for some of them to just...leave. One thousand years is a very long time! Especially all living and working together.
Gosh, so good for me that I never read that book apart from a few parts. I would have ranted worse than you I think. :D
The fact that Alec is so much more powerful than Alice is also a sign of Meyers inherent sexism, outside of protection and sacrifice (things she equalizes with motherhood) women can never be as powerful as men and really even then only when it is to women who have or are able to reproduce, that is why the guide lists fever women than men with strong powers and Leah gains barely any height or bulk from becoming a werewolf, she is even smaller than her little brother.
Gnargh. Give me a pack of characters with the powers of the Volturi and I would create the most fucked-up, twisted, malicious, manipulative, evil characters ever. Meyer has all these goddamn incredible chances to make villains that we would remember FOREVER... and she totally wastes them! AUGH! My brain hurts!
Even worse, if I were to take these powers and do something with them, *I* would be called the bad writer for using her ideas! *headdesk ^infinity*
"Do we get any vampires from Asia"
YEAH!! Where the hell are the Asians in this?? seriously! I fact what about Eastern Europe?? That's where originated from! So where are they?? Damn it Meyer you ruin my logic and sense again!
it also proves i guess that you can be somewhere and dont know where you are at.
and personally i needed that laugh on that day.
the vampire powers actually remind me of Stands for some weird reason. Twilight would have been so much cooler if it had punch ghosts.
Imagine if we had DIO or the Pillar Men in place of Volturi
Bella and the Cullens would likely be dead for one, so that's cool
The funniest part about the gifted humans? She's given humans a canon way to beat vamps if they knew about them.
Stay frosty? I'm sorry Mervin but I have to.
WORD UP UNDULATING ANEMONE
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Not sure if anyone said this, but maybe the eye stuff is another sign that SMeyer doesn't care as much for her villains. They don't get elaborate hair color descriptions, and they also don't get human eye color descriptions, because she just doesn't care.
i cant remember rather or not i made a comment on this video already. But with your question of how someone can get into a city and not know where they are this has happened before.
I dont really watch Wrestling but my sister does, and this was an old episode one that came on sometime in January and we were watching it because it was some kind of awards show for wrestlers.
In said show they show bloppers that happened on the show and since the show is live and their was no way to delete and
BTW, Merven, I've been meaning to ask you: Have you ever heard of Nuttymadam? She's a huge (figuratively and literally) Twitard. She's so blind to Twilight's fail, she tries to justify Meyer's "logic" in the Twilight universe and jumps down the throats of anyone who says Meyer can't write for shit. If you haven't heard of her, you should really check her out. She's hilariously pathetic.
I wouldn't call Aro kissing her Jane on the mouth really pedophilic.It could be a sign of fatherly affection. I know some parents who still kiss their children on the lips in their teens. It's not like full on make out but its affectionate peck on the lips. However, given the Jacob-Renesmee, Claire-Quil thing the whole Aro kissing Jane thing does have unfortunate implications.
i'm guessing that the cut off age is 12
So, wait, Dimitri should be played by someone of Mediterranean descent? Do we know anything about this actor, other than that he's white?
@ 17:15. There's a pretty good example of something like that happening in Final Fantasy XIII. The first form of Orphan tortures one of the characters (Fang), and then heals her before doing it all over again. This form was visually shown in the conjoined form of a male and a female.
The Cullens: they did it all for the nookie
fix the bloppers they show it on the awards show at the beginning of the next year.
Well in one particular blopper R-Truth was standing in the middle of the ring and greetings the audience as a whole.
These are his exact words and I dont know who said the next one but it gets the point across.
"Green Bay Wisconsin! What's Up!"
It was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop and then....
"Hey R-Truth we're in Milwaukee you fool!"
I about died laughing at it that was so hilarious.
Psychic abilities DO NOT work like that, Meyer.
Omg weird pale guy is biting my face #worstvacationever
Yeah, I have been wondering how no one has yet to notice the large groups of tourists that vanish on a daily basis.
I have a question. Did people even do witch trials after the 15th century? Because early 19th century sounds really late for a witch trial.
Accualy the Witchcraft Act of 1735 wasn't repealed until 1951 in England. The last case in which someone was arrested for witchcraft was Rebecca York on September 26 1949. That said the most you could receive was a year in jail and it was basically meant for people who conned others by pretending to be psychic.
I'm sorry, but Dastiel is fucking hawt.
Math fail bets? In this guide alone?
Hmmm, I'll be conservative. About 70 in total?
Huge fail to SMyer for not having any pics of the Vultori.
I liked the idea of the vampire HBICs collecting especially gifted vampires to build up an effective army.
I'm necroposting like crazy, but I just noticed something. Why would there be a Frankish soldier in England before 1066?
Funny thing is, one could argue that it's actually more likely and more practical for the Volturi to be on an animal diet. Just own a lot of farms and drain blood from the animals. A cow has almost four times as much blood as a human. It would also be a nice source of revenue.
Great, GEMA struggle again, I suppose. Part 10 is not available in Germany... Und Mrs Hyde ist genial, if you would like to tell her that, please. You are cool, too.
red/black (vampire)