9:16 Habit # 5 “Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood” This absolute critical thing here is not just to go through the motions of “letting someone talk” or “making them feel heard” in a superficial way. It’s to ACTUALLY, authentically listen to and digest what they’re saying. This is an important life skill to develop if it doesn’t come naturally to you. Most people can absolutely sense when they’re being placated or manipulated because someone is using a technique from a self-help book. I know I can. People are generally not stupid, and can sniff out phoniness. That’s why salespeople and the sales profession in general get a bad rap. So much of it is just manipulating others to get a particular end result - including to pretend to listen to them; going through the motions of it while actually thinking about what you’re gonna say next. I love Stephen Covey’s book and happen to be re-reading the updated 30th anniversary edition right now (which contains his son Sean’s insights after each Habit section). I can’t recall right now if Covey addressed this concept of authenticity vs. phoniness, but I think so.
Independence Self Mastery. 1 Be proactive 2 Start with end in Mind 3 Put first things first. Interdependent social Mastery Habits. Think like a team Co-operate, Help Share. Win Win deal, there is abundance. 4 Think Win Win 5 First try to understand and then to be understood. 6 Synergy. Differences among people and opinions should be valued & used for advantages. 7 Sharpen the saw before cutting down the tree to save time. Sharpen and take care of Physical , Mental Cognitive Knowledge, Spiritual, Social Situations.
I love when you have notes. Sometimes I write out an outline with space, but usually just the headings so I stay engaged and listen more for other points. I read this book soon after graduating, ( I always have kept notes on self-help books), and still find myself using the 'four quadrants' to do my weekly and monthly to do lists. Sharpening the Saw has always been important and even fun for me. I was the nerd in grade school that did extra stuff for the fun of it - esp. when mom told me to show the teacher and she gave me some extra points! Thanks for the review.
I read this book a while back and really enjoyed it, but probably like many, didn't incorporate as much as I should have. Well jump ahead several years and I am in a position at work that requires me to deal with many different people. From direct customers to my Department heads, managers and supervisors to the hourly employees that are so vital to our success. Watching your video just now I realize that I do incorporate more of this book than I had thought. The one Habit that really stands out to me, and I use it every day, is Idea #5 "Seek first to understand then be understood". I was one that if someone came into my office and went on a rant I would tell them to have a seat, calm down and just keep quiet. I would then lead the conversation based off of minimal knowledge of the issue at hand. Sometimes that would be OK, but most times it did nothing to correct the issue. Having watched your video I realize I have changed my way of handling these situations. When someone comes in angry and venting I tend to just keep my mouth shut and maintain eye contact while I listen to their full rant. When I know they are done I then can offer my thoughts based off of their full perspective and there is no doubt that the other person is actually listening to me. It is such a better way of handling an individuals concerns and I had changed to this method without even knowing it. A person will certainly listen much more to what you have to offer when they know that you have really listened to them.
When faced with sexually explicit curriculum expected to be used for my high school interpersonal relations class, I asked my pastor for alternative books. He emphatically answered, "The 7 Habits book!" My principal was relieved, as was our school board so we bought the books. I was 45 years old when reading about the Circles of Concern and of Influence. Gee, I wish I had read this earlier in life! Now, at age 61, I am definitely still using the 7 Habits lessons and gain more each time I share these concepts.
I Loooooove your book reviews. I always listen to them after I read the book, as a recap. You're my book club. Thank you for quality content every time.
You explain concepts simply, but if we take a minute and think about it, it gives very deep learning and awareness of what we can improve. So please keep explaning things in such manner so we can think about it and try to be better.
You read books, volunteer at the boys and girls club, have your own business goals and create free ebooks... where exactly do guys like you hang out??? Asking for a friend.
Hey man, I stumbled across a book called 'How to Read a Book' when I was looking for the same thing and I found it really helpful. It goes on a little long but the first 1/3-1/2 of the book is a goldmine.
Today I was supposed to hand in my book to my editor. My file was corrupted and I lost 20 days worth of hard work. Hours and hours. But there's no stopping me, why? Not because I want the book to be done, but because I know the book with HELP others. Thanks so much for this great review Clark, as always. Take it easy.
I am so so glad I found you!! been binge-watching all your motivational/journal/health videos for hours and omg It's so uplifting, and I love how you're serious and funny at the same time. awesome work man! keep it up!!
This is great! I enjoy how you shortened the audiobook/book to 10 lessons learned. This was especially great since I JUST read the book and needed a quick overview of what I listened to for the past couple of weeks
Awesome summary and video, Clark! Loved the idea about picking most important thing of the day to help with prioritizing and putting first things first.
Loved this review Clark. Your videos are my new go to for journaling, inspiration and leadership references. Can't wait to see you reach all your 2016 goals!
I'm a new subscriber and I am so so glad I found you!! been binge-watching all your motivational/journal/health videos for hours and omg It's so uplifting, and I love how you're serious and funny at the same time. awesome work man! keep it up!!
Thank you, Clark, for putting all the IMPORTANT notes in your description. So easy to find and follow...and even find new gems in there !😆 Already subscribed. 😎 Waiting for more videos ! 😍 Blessings from Taiwan ! 😄
Awesome video!! Also your bookshelf is impressive :D Thanks for this!! Had it playing while working. This book is on my list to read but just being active with my goals first.
Hey Clark. I really need to say that you are one of the most generous people I had ever found! Like your detailed review bro and thanks for the free e-Book hope it will help. Cheers.
Awesome work Clark.Thanks for sharing! Even if ive read some of the books its great to hear how you explain it point by point, clarifies the context better
Clark's having a go. He's on a similar level to your Evan Carmichaels, Mind valleys Jimmy Quick, your Dean de grassi's, but he delivers stuff we need to be reminded of. ty friend.
Hi, listening to habit # 5 , when you referred your experience in a Boys and Girls Club, I remembered an excellent book t hat I am sure you will enjoy called "How to Talk So Children Will Listen & How to Listen So Children Will Talk, by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.
So Clark Here's my favorite thing about you. You are clear, speak confidently, and in regular Vocabulary. Your like the Cole's notes on Self and business development. I think your experience with children has helped that. Having my three 10,16 & 18 and Volunteering at the boys and girls club when i was 14 did as well. I'm trying to have my son sit long enough to watch your Online stuff. Hes the 10 year old and is obsessed with watching gamers online... and now he wants to be a u tuber... so that will be the next ones ill be watching as i watched and shared a lot of the best ones already . :) Would love to collaborate.. maybe an event? I'm in Kelowna Bc I've been an Event planner 12 years. Ty for your time I don't do anything that doesn't sharpen my own saw ;) Wouldn't change a thing your so knowledgeable. Tasha
Hey, Clark thanks for the clarity. I had trouble grasping some of the points in this book and your video made them more clear to me. Thanks, and love your channel.
Just seen your videos regarding "The way of the superiror man" and "The 7 habits of highly effective people". Your work is awesome. I have been following "Fight Mediocrity Channel" (Which review Personal Development books as well) and i find you videos more objective and clear. I wonder why Fight Mediocrity has more views and suscribers? I know it has been there for longer how ever the differences in views are overwhelming. What do you think? I love the way you are trying to monetize your channel (Selling a Journalism Guide). Far more smart than adds (Again better than fight mediocrity). Finally i would love to dedicate my life to personal development and to spread my ideas. I have to say that i feel jelows, you are tremendousley talented and objective. CONGRATULATIONS! LOVE IT! Sergio
Sergio Rugerio I'm not trying to be mean and at the end you can say what you want online but nonetheless here's my opinion: I get your point but you don't have to compare them 2 and put the other guy "down" to praise the other. Just give an objective compliment. I don't think this a positive way to go about it but ironically this will probably make others Check out fight mediocrity out of curiosity and get more views lol
Hey hi :) so glad I stumbled across your video. I'm into the miracle morning and bullet journaling. I've read quite a few self help books. I looked at this one, saw it and thought ocht it'll take me ages to read. Thank you for your explanation :) I'm now a subscriber :)
Great video, Clark. I believe all of these principles are based on the law of attraction "The Secret " which I live by. I really loved the sharpen your saw idea though and for people to work together for one common goal.
Just discovered you, Clark! Great presenation - love your presence. Will be buying your book 11 Questions. Thanks for being there as I begin another creative journey. Rhonda
Hi Clark, Good day! I'm your fan. I got some comment to make your next video better. I think you need to adjust your mic because I'm using earphone to listen. The sound very hard to hear and felt uncomfortable. I'm not said your voice is irritating, I want to say the mic. Love sharing, Daniel
hello! really like your videos! i see that you traveled the south east asia! did you quit some job and what did you do when you came back from the trip?
So this was the video which had a copyright strike? Nothing copyrighted here. To me it seems like its a gross misuse of copyright laws by that company.
9:16 Habit # 5 “Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood”
This absolute critical thing here is not just to go through the motions of “letting someone talk” or “making them feel heard” in a superficial way. It’s to ACTUALLY, authentically listen to and digest what they’re saying. This is an important life skill to develop if it doesn’t come naturally to you.
Most people can absolutely sense when they’re being placated or manipulated because someone is using a technique from a self-help book. I know I can. People are generally not stupid, and can sniff out phoniness. That’s why salespeople and the sales profession in general get a bad rap. So much of it is just manipulating others to get a particular end result - including to pretend to listen to them; going through the motions of it while actually thinking about what you’re gonna say next.
I love Stephen Covey’s book and happen to be re-reading the updated 30th anniversary edition right now (which contains his son Sean’s insights after each Habit section). I can’t recall right now if Covey addressed this concept of authenticity vs. phoniness, but I think so.
Independence Self Mastery.
1 Be proactive
2 Start with end in Mind
3 Put first things first.
Interdependent social Mastery Habits. Think like a team Co-operate, Help Share. Win Win deal, there is abundance.
4 Think Win Win
5 First try to understand and then to be understood.
6 Synergy. Differences among people and opinions should be valued & used for advantages.
7 Sharpen the saw before cutting down the tree to save time. Sharpen and take care of Physical , Mental Cognitive Knowledge, Spiritual, Social Situations.
I love when you have notes. Sometimes I write out an outline with space, but usually just the headings so I stay engaged and listen more for other points. I read this book soon after graduating, ( I always have kept notes on self-help books), and still find myself using the 'four quadrants' to do my weekly and monthly to do lists. Sharpening the Saw has always been important and even fun for me. I was the nerd in grade school that did extra stuff for the fun of it - esp. when mom told me to show the teacher and she gave me some extra points! Thanks for the review.
I read this book a while back and really enjoyed it, but probably like many, didn't incorporate as much as I should have. Well jump ahead several years and I am in a position at work that requires me to deal with many different people. From direct customers to my Department heads, managers and supervisors to the hourly employees that are so vital to our success. Watching your video just now I realize that I do incorporate more of this book than I had thought. The one Habit that really stands out to me, and I use it every day, is Idea #5 "Seek first to understand then be understood". I was one that if someone came into my office and went on a rant I would tell them to have a seat, calm down and just keep quiet. I would then lead the conversation based off of minimal knowledge of the issue at hand. Sometimes that would be OK, but most times it did nothing to correct the issue. Having watched your video I realize I have changed my way of handling these situations. When someone comes in angry and venting I tend to just keep my mouth shut and maintain eye contact while I listen to their full rant. When I know they are done I then can offer my thoughts based off of their full perspective and there is no doubt that the other person is actually listening to me. It is such a better way of handling an individuals concerns and I had changed to this method without even knowing it.
A person will certainly listen much more to what you have to offer when they know that you have really listened to them.
When faced with sexually explicit curriculum expected to be used for my high school interpersonal relations class, I asked my pastor for alternative books. He emphatically answered, "The 7 Habits book!" My principal was relieved, as was our school board so we bought the books. I was 45 years old when reading about the Circles of Concern and of Influence. Gee, I wish I had read this earlier in life! Now, at age 61, I am definitely still using the 7 Habits lessons and gain more each time I share these concepts.
I Loooooove your book reviews. I always listen to them after I read the book, as a recap. You're my book club. Thank you for quality content every time.
You explain concepts simply, but if we take a minute and think about it, it gives very deep learning and awareness of what we can improve. So please keep explaning things in such manner so we can think about it and try to be better.
You read books, volunteer at the boys and girls club, have your own business goals and create free ebooks... where exactly do guys like you hang out??? Asking for a friend.
hahahahahaha good one!
😂
We hang out where these habits are created. In nature!
Don't go getting lost in the woods! Lol
Please please please do a video on how to take good notes on books please
Hey man, I stumbled across a book called 'How to Read a Book' when I was looking for the same thing and I found it really helpful. It goes on a little long but the first 1/3-1/2 of the book is a goldmine.
Do what you can! When you can! Where you can! Then keep on moving!
Today I was supposed to hand in my book to my editor. My file was corrupted and I lost 20 days worth of hard work. Hours and hours. But there's no stopping me, why? Not because I want the book to be done, but because I know the book with HELP others. Thanks so much for this great review Clark, as always. Take it easy.
All points are important.
Let's say be proactive is the one outstanding
I am so so glad I found you!! been binge-watching all your motivational/journal/health videos for hours and omg It's so uplifting, and I love how you're serious and funny at the same time. awesome work man! keep it up!!
This is great! I enjoy how you shortened the audiobook/book to 10 lessons learned. This was especially great since I JUST read the book and needed a quick overview of what I listened to for the past couple of weeks
Amazing presentation! Made me understand the seven habits very well
Thank you so much. Well done
Hi Clark, thanks a ton for this video it really helped me learn all the 7 habits in a easy and a proficient manner
Right on! Get out there and crush 2017, Charan!
Great video! You hit all the major points and principles.
In the 15th chapter of Proverbs it states harsh words stir up anger but a soft answer turns away wrath.
Awesome summary and video, Clark! Loved the idea about picking most important thing of the day to help with prioritizing and putting first things first.
Awesome, David. Thanks for watching and your support! Keep crushing the Ocarina dude.
The four quadrants really work. I work in quadrant 2 as much as I can.
Loved this review Clark. Your videos are my new go to for journaling, inspiration and leadership references. Can't wait to see you reach all your 2016 goals!
I'm a new subscriber and I am so so glad I found you!! been binge-watching all your motivational/journal/health videos for hours and omg It's so uplifting, and I love how you're serious and funny at the same time. awesome work man! keep it up!!
Thank you very much! The only person I can usually make laugh is my girlfriend..... rarely.
I really liked the way it has been explained in detail
Thank you, Clark, for putting all the IMPORTANT notes in your description. So easy to find and follow...and even find new gems in there !😆
Already subscribed. 😎
Waiting for more videos ! 😍
Blessings from Taiwan ! 😄
Awesome video!! Also your bookshelf is impressive :D Thanks for this!! Had it playing while working. This book is on my list to read but just being active with my goals first.
Hey Clark. I really need to say that you are one of the most generous people I had ever found! Like your detailed review bro and thanks for the free e-Book hope it will help. Cheers.
Awesome work Clark.Thanks for sharing! Even if ive read some of the books its great to hear how you explain it point by point, clarifies the context better
Am definitely a fan of this series 🔑
Right on, Richard! Next one coming tomorrow!
Hi Clark, I love your videos!! Great idea with condensing and giving us the abridged versions of all these great books!
be super efficient in the skill that you would be needed most of the time. and that which others are reluctant to do
Dude.....you are AWESOME! Keep up the great content!
Great video! Listened with my 19 year old son who has anxiety issues. Trying to get him to journal as well.
Right on, Cathy! Thanks for the support. Journaling was a massive help for me at 19 - that's not always a fun age.
Thank you for making these videos. I really appreciate you :)
Thanks, your videos are helping me in my daily work activities.
Clark's having a go. He's on a similar level to your Evan Carmichaels, Mind valleys Jimmy Quick, your Dean de grassi's, but he delivers stuff we need to be reminded of. ty friend.
You kinda look like Ben Affleck.
With brains 🤣
Presented nicely. Most liking is Don'ts under TO DO LIST
Going to read this book.
Hi, listening to habit # 5 , when you referred your experience in a Boys and Girls Club, I remembered an excellent book t hat I am sure you will enjoy called "How to Talk So Children Will Listen & How to Listen So Children Will Talk, by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.
thanks for the video. I loved the idea of writing a "not to do" list. I can't wait to start tomorrow...
Absolutely loved this video. Thank you so much for this valuable information Clark. Lots of love from an Australian 🇦🇺😀
So Clark Here's my favorite thing about you. You are clear, speak confidently, and in regular Vocabulary. Your like the Cole's notes on Self and business development. I think your experience with children has helped that. Having my three 10,16 & 18 and Volunteering at the boys and girls club when i was 14 did as well. I'm trying to have my son sit long enough to watch your Online stuff. Hes the 10 year old and is obsessed with watching gamers online... and now he wants to be a u tuber... so that will be the next ones ill be watching as i watched and shared a lot of the best ones already . :) Would love to collaborate.. maybe an event? I'm in Kelowna Bc I've been an Event planner 12 years.
Ty for your time I don't do anything that doesn't sharpen my own saw ;) Wouldn't change a thing your so knowledgeable.
Tasha
Great habits. Love being proactive.
Just bought the book, can't wait to read it!
Hey, Clark thanks for the clarity. I had trouble grasping some of the points in this book and your video made them more clear to me. Thanks, and love your channel.
I LIKE THE IDEA BEGIN WITH END IN MIND.
Nice job! I've watched this twice. It's excellent.
Love your book reviews. Very helpful and inspiring. Thank you!
Good one.
i love this idea i am starting my blog about along similar lines:D i worked at the Boys and girls club too:! this is awesome!
Just seen your videos regarding "The way of the superiror man" and "The 7 habits of highly effective people". Your work is awesome.
I have been following "Fight Mediocrity Channel" (Which review Personal Development books as well) and i find you videos more objective and clear.
I wonder why Fight Mediocrity has more views and suscribers? I know it has been there for longer how ever the differences in views are overwhelming. What do you think?
I love the way you are trying to monetize your channel (Selling a Journalism Guide). Far more smart than adds (Again better than fight mediocrity).
Finally i would love to dedicate my life to personal development and to spread my ideas. I have to say that i feel jelows, you are tremendousley talented and objective. CONGRATULATIONS! LOVE IT!
Sergio
Sergio Rugerio
I'm not trying to be mean and at the end you can say what you want online but nonetheless here's my opinion: I get your point but you don't have to compare them 2 and put the other guy "down" to praise the other. Just give an objective compliment. I don't think this a positive way to go about it but ironically this will probably make others Check out fight mediocrity out of curiosity and get more views lol
great job! Really enjoyed your summary. Thanks!
Hey hi :) so glad I stumbled across your video. I'm into the miracle morning and bullet journaling. I've read quite a few self help books. I looked at this one, saw it and thought ocht it'll take me ages to read. Thank you for your explanation :) I'm now a subscriber :)
Thank you for your videos, Clark. Simply mind- and life-changing.
Wow, dude...you really clarified the context for me...thanks bro.
Great video, Clark. I believe all of these principles are based on the law of attraction "The Secret " which I live by. I really loved the sharpen your saw idea though and for people to work together for one common goal.
Just discovered you, Clark! Great presenation - love your presence. Will be buying your book 11 Questions. Thanks for being there as I begin another creative journey. Rhonda
Hi Clark keep nailing them. Your works are helpful.
To understand rather than understood, or be Last one to speak (Nelson Mandela ❤️)
Thank you Clark.
Really enjoy your videos, very thorough and analytical 👍🏽
Wow great videos..thank you for sharing!
Hi Clark,
Good day! I'm your fan.
I got some comment to make your next video better.
I think you need to adjust your mic because I'm using earphone to listen. The sound very hard to hear and felt uncomfortable.
I'm not said your voice is irritating, I want to say the mic.
Love sharing,
Daniel
Amazing job!!! I loved your sum up on this incredible book
Pen behind the ear is classic.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING 🖊🌎
Wow Man! You sure put a lot of effort into your posts. Much Appreciated, thanks
You got it, Richard. Stay LFTD man!
Thanks for summary of practically helpful book.
I gives stimulus to read the book
Thank you for sharing these good ideas.😄
The video is back! Yay! :)
so helpful, many thanks!
alright, nice to meet you, this is good for me. I love it
Thanks so much for this man!
Thanks man for this great video!! 🙏
Clark ; The walking book man!!!! Did you read all those books for real?
Love that mountain metaphor
Love this concept bro!
Love it, and thanks a lot
Is this similar to how to win friends and influence people?
cause i am looking for something similar to that.
Absolutely loved it, keep it up :)
Good talk
So good Sir!
Much appreciated, Matthew.
Hey did you read the book or listen to the audio??
Great videos!
which equipment do you use to record yourself Clark?
Great Channel.Subbed.You bring value
Love your vids!
nice job !
hello! really like your videos! i see that you traveled the south east asia! did you quit some job and what did you do when you came back from the trip?
Your videos just keep getting better! Good job
Thanks for this - means a lot!
wow i think i will make a not to do list!
i have this book, also i live in Kurdistan, on Kurdish language.
Good job
Nice Video!
The link to the video "HOW I BEAT PROCRASTINATION" is broken
good job bro
So this was the video which had a copyright strike? Nothing copyrighted here. To me it seems like its a gross misuse of copyright laws by that company.
Wow
Great video new subbie!