So very happy to see you back here, Struan! Sorry 2024 was a tough one for you. Please do continue to post your thoughts. They have been tremendously helpful to me. When I was engaging before, I expected that I only was autistic and did not have ADHD. However, several clinicians indicated otherwise. So it's wonderful that you have covered ADHD material with the lens of autism here and previously. I'll be sure to deep-dive into those soon.
Definitely not an exercise in self indulgence. Your videos helped me through the immediate aftermath of my AuDHD diagnoses - especially your experience at work as I have a similar background. Thank you for sharing your story, and glad to see you.
Struan's back! Sorry you had the wobble. I don't know if it helps but there's no way your videos are just self indulgent. They're ridiculously well researched and highly informative. I think they're a truly valuable resource because you're not selling a service, you set boundaries on the project so there's no filler... I can imagine it's hard to do, and you're 100% allowed to take it at your own pace (or no pace at all)... But it's fantastic to see you back. Hope you're feeling better.
Delighted to see you back. Having a beloved project of my own on hold for the last two years because even thinking about working on it was like trying to make myself touch a stove, and who often drops things partway through and struggles to pick them up again later, I kind of assumed something along those lines was happening here. Sympathies on the wobble, it always sucks. Since your last video, and thanks in considerable part to your whole series, I've since been assessed and diagnosed with AuDHD myself. I included a link to your channel in the research bibliography I put together before going in (not at all a neurodivergent thing to do... aiming for a good grade in neurodevelopmental difference assessment, a thing both possible to achieve and normal to want). Even if your videos WERE self-indulgent (not the impression I get), the fact that you're helping a lot of people -- obviously including myself, for which I'm deeply grateful -- would remain true. I think a lot of the world's best art and research and such is self-indulgent, because one is unlikely to half-ass something one cares about that much. So indulge away!
Thanks! And really glad to hear you got an identification for yourself that makes sense to you. It's certainly not all plain sailing from here, but it's a hell of a better foundation.
also i wanna elaborate on why i feel thankful for your work on these videos. your channel might be among the more hidden ones algorithm-wise, but make no mistake: your unique point of view and effort to make systematic breakdowns of these topics (instead of the often employed listicle format for example) + your personal stories helped me gain genuinely new perspectives about my similar struggles, so in fact it did a lot more than providing me with "content" or "validation" (i'm not trying to bad-mouth validation here which is probably very much an unmet need for a lot of folks all around, just wanted to emphasize how your stuff has quality beyond that as well)
This has more to so with being "2E" than ADHD alone, but it came up while going through the DIVA online for me: i struggle with answering questions about struggling with difficult activities or activities requiring prolonged concentration with the exclusion of high interest activities because i dont find very many things "difficult" that are commonly considered that. I was a physics major at a prestigious college and struggled only with a couple classes -- those i found boring or that required constant close attention to detail (engineering courses). So...i thought i didnt fit this criteria for a long time. But if something isn't effortless and isn't highly engaging, i struggle SO SO badly. I need deadlines and competition and breaks and help and still sometimes i fail. It has cost me thousands of dollars over the years. I just lucked out that most of academics was interesting to me or didn't require prolonged attention. When i was in elementary school, i transferred math systems to a new textbook type, so i had some repeat modules, and my mom had to race me to complete the homework otherwise i couldn't do it because i was SO bored. I did two courses at once in math to get back to the highest level I'd learned to avoid this for any longer than i had to. Hopefully this made sense and doesnt just come across as bragging about my school smarts. The point is that being school smart can hide ADHD and leave teachers baffled when you fail part of an exam because you didnt double check your work for a silly tiny mistake.
No it definitely makes sense - it's dopamine deficit/ chasing, or at least sounds like. The stuff that interests you gives you the hit and you hyper-focus, and because it interests you and you're smart it's easy and you can push like hell through stuff others find crazy difficult. But as soon as something doesn't interest you, there's no dopamine and the motivation to 'just do the thing' is ZERO, then the demand of HAVING to do it kicks you into fight, flight or freeze (broadly freeze, I would guess), which makes you even LESS likely to even be able to start it. Teachers/ professors are utterly baffled by the 'brilliant or terrible' dichotomy. Doesn't come across as bragging at all, just (like a lot of us) trying to finally make sense of it all.
@@toaojjc 2E stands for "twice exceptional", basically when you're smart or gifted at one end of the 'average bear' bell curve, but have quite a lot of challenges and can also struggle at the other end of the bell curve, and the struggles of getting to grips with that duality. It's more of a thing in America, it's not a concept particularly recognised here in the UK but it's interesting to me and a lot of what's been said and written about it quite chimes with my own individual experience. There's an introductory article on it I've linked to below, where I think I first came across it as a term. Julie Skolnick (With Understanding Comes Calm) runs quite an interesting adult 2E support group (The Haystack) online which I went along to a few times which bring '2E' adults together to share frustrations and discuss coping strategies. www.additudemag.com/2e-adhd-autism-parent-child/
Seen the video now. I was also assessed with the DIVA. And the psychologist actually did also speak to my mom. For me it was 6/9 & 6/9 so also combined, but masked by ASD and learned strategies so still sometimes difficult to spot for myself even. My assessor herself was ADHD and she said she knew within minutes of meeting me that I most probably was ADHD too even though I came in looking to find out if I was autistic. So we had an extra session for the DIVA added and she took longer talking to mom to ask for ADHD stuff next to the ASD stuff. I have tried meds too. My ASD became so much worse that I am now convinced my ADHD actually helps me function. So glad to hear you're better now. Please take good care of you and thank you again for another video. Look forward to your videos about the combination. Take your time and take care Struan!
That all sounds almost identical to me, right down to my autistic traits becoming more pronounced on meds - really glad you've found your way through it all too. I also think my ADHD helps me function better. Take care!
Really glad to see you back. Even though others have similar content, I really appreciate how thorough you are in documenting the subjective experience of it all. I'm also coming very late to realizing I'm both Autistic and ADHD, and your experience seems to have been very similar to mine in a lot of ways. You mentioned rethinking demand avoidance as a result of your recent struggles. I hope you'll be doing a video to talk more about that specifically. PDA is one of my most difficult hurdles in terms of my own experience of neurodivergence, aand I'd be very interested to hear what you have to say on the topic.
Mine too - I did a previous video on this but I want to come back to it now I'm a little further down the road in my own journey. The big breakthrough for me was essentially realising that demand = overwhelm/ fight or flight, and demand avoidance was protecting myself from overwhelm. The only way through it was working out what specifically about the task was overwhelming me and why. Different things will work for different people, for me it was going through a specific process of interrogating each time I got 'fizzy' and demand avoidant: can the thoughts leading to my 'fizz' be reframed in a different way to stop the avoidant reaction and can I give myself options on a way forward? As soon as there are options (for me), including NOT doing the thing, the fizz goes out of the task demand and it becomes easier. But it took a long time for the penny to drop for me, and to work out a way of turning the intellectual understanding of that into a workable 'real life' habit. Sorry, long wall-of-text answer, and even that is barely scratching the surface. I definitely want to do another video on this subject because I wasn't there yet with my first one (and I'm probably still not, but I'm closer)
I am so hypervigilant, I wpuld probably fail. I demand avoid socially (people overwhelm) but when it comes to work etc I am early, always finish, always get the job done perfectly and on time. I trained myself to be extrely competent at thilose things because I hated not finishing tasks. Fear of failing literally spilling over into a test for neuro divergence. So I will probably never get tested. The irony. 🎉
Hey mate, the algorithm recommended chapter 31 and while it wasn't to a T exactly what happened to me it was more than close enough that I could feel the tears starting to form. I've just now started the series from the beginning but I first wanted to see where it ended up (being unable to avoid spoiling the end of things has been a common theme for me). Glad to see you're keeping on with it, even if there was an understandable break. That stick-to-it-iveness helps to give me hope that I'll be able to commit to the things that I want to achieve, even if I know it will be an almost endless struggle. So, sincerely, cheers for sharing. I think that's the beauty of UA-cam, or at least it was back in the day, and it's nice to see a resurgence of that as the systems tailor themselves more to each individual's specific interests. I'm at the point in this comment where the awkwardness is hitting hard so I'll just finish with a thanks and a hope that all of our journeys can take us to a point where we can look back with pride for who we end up being (as problematic as pride can be).
Thanks, what a lovely comment - and all the best with your own journey. I still struggle a lot with implementing all of the things I feel I want to do, and am trying to get more into the mindset of starting things without an aim of finishing them, rather than focussing on the finish. The pressure of the endpoint can remove the enjoyment of the process, but it's such a hard balance to find and get comfortable with. The work goes on!
@amineurodivergent sorry, I'm gonna have to avoid this one... JK I'm legitimately about to release a video on this and have been thinking about it a ton so yes please
So very happy to see you back here, Struan! Sorry 2024 was a tough one for you.
Please do continue to post your thoughts. They have been tremendously helpful to me.
When I was engaging before, I expected that I only was autistic and did not have ADHD. However, several clinicians indicated otherwise. So it's wonderful that you have covered ADHD material with the lens of autism here and previously. I'll be sure to deep-dive into those soon.
ah man, you're alive! can't tell how much your videos helped when i was at rock bottom. looking forward to this one
Thanks! All the best!
Definitely not an exercise in self indulgence. Your videos helped me through the immediate aftermath of my AuDHD diagnoses - especially your experience at work as I have a similar background. Thank you for sharing your story, and glad to see you.
Thanks!
Struan's back! Sorry you had the wobble. I don't know if it helps but there's no way your videos are just self indulgent. They're ridiculously well researched and highly informative. I think they're a truly valuable resource because you're not selling a service, you set boundaries on the project so there's no filler...
I can imagine it's hard to do, and you're 100% allowed to take it at your own pace (or no pace at all)... But it's fantastic to see you back.
Hope you're feeling better.
Thanks so much, I really appreciate it!
Absolutely agreed
Great to have you back! I hope you will continue posting your videos, which I have always found very useful, well researched and thoughtful.
Thanks!
Delighted to see you back. Having a beloved project of my own on hold for the last two years because even thinking about working on it was like trying to make myself touch a stove, and who often drops things partway through and struggles to pick them up again later, I kind of assumed something along those lines was happening here. Sympathies on the wobble, it always sucks.
Since your last video, and thanks in considerable part to your whole series, I've since been assessed and diagnosed with AuDHD myself. I included a link to your channel in the research bibliography I put together before going in (not at all a neurodivergent thing to do... aiming for a good grade in neurodevelopmental difference assessment, a thing both possible to achieve and normal to want).
Even if your videos WERE self-indulgent (not the impression I get), the fact that you're helping a lot of people -- obviously including myself, for which I'm deeply grateful -- would remain true. I think a lot of the world's best art and research and such is self-indulgent, because one is unlikely to half-ass something one cares about that much. So indulge away!
Thanks! And really glad to hear you got an identification for yourself that makes sense to you. It's certainly not all plain sailing from here, but it's a hell of a better foundation.
Yay! You've posted another one! So glad your back! ❤ sorry to hear 2024 was so hard for you.
Thanks!
also i wanna elaborate on why i feel thankful for your work on these videos. your channel might be among the more hidden ones algorithm-wise, but make no mistake: your unique point of view and effort to make systematic breakdowns of these topics (instead of the often employed listicle format for example) + your personal stories helped me gain genuinely new perspectives about my similar struggles, so in fact it did a lot more than providing me with "content" or "validation" (i'm not trying to bad-mouth validation here which is probably very much an unmet need for a lot of folks all around, just wanted to emphasize how your stuff has quality beyond that as well)
Thank you, I really appreciate you taking the time to post that.
This has more to so with being "2E" than ADHD alone, but it came up while going through the DIVA online for me: i struggle with answering questions about struggling with difficult activities or activities requiring prolonged concentration with the exclusion of high interest activities because i dont find very many things "difficult" that are commonly considered that. I was a physics major at a prestigious college and struggled only with a couple classes -- those i found boring or that required constant close attention to detail (engineering courses).
So...i thought i didnt fit this criteria for a long time.
But if something isn't effortless and isn't highly engaging, i struggle SO SO badly. I need deadlines and competition and breaks and help and still sometimes i fail. It has cost me thousands of dollars over the years.
I just lucked out that most of academics was interesting to me or didn't require prolonged attention.
When i was in elementary school, i transferred math systems to a new textbook type, so i had some repeat modules, and my mom had to race me to complete the homework otherwise i couldn't do it because i was SO bored. I did two courses at once in math to get back to the highest level I'd learned to avoid this for any longer than i had to.
Hopefully this made sense and doesnt just come across as bragging about my school smarts. The point is that being school smart can hide ADHD and leave teachers baffled when you fail part of an exam because you didnt double check your work for a silly tiny mistake.
No it definitely makes sense - it's dopamine deficit/ chasing, or at least sounds like. The stuff that interests you gives you the hit and you hyper-focus, and because it interests you and you're smart it's easy and you can push like hell through stuff others find crazy difficult. But as soon as something doesn't interest you, there's no dopamine and the motivation to 'just do the thing' is ZERO, then the demand of HAVING to do it kicks you into fight, flight or freeze (broadly freeze, I would guess), which makes you even LESS likely to even be able to start it. Teachers/ professors are utterly baffled by the 'brilliant or terrible' dichotomy. Doesn't come across as bragging at all, just (like a lot of us) trying to finally make sense of it all.
What is 2E?
@@toaojjc 2E stands for "twice exceptional", basically when you're smart or gifted at one end of the 'average bear' bell curve, but have quite a lot of challenges and can also struggle at the other end of the bell curve, and the struggles of getting to grips with that duality. It's more of a thing in America, it's not a concept particularly recognised here in the UK but it's interesting to me and a lot of what's been said and written about it quite chimes with my own individual experience. There's an introductory article on it I've linked to below, where I think I first came across it as a term. Julie Skolnick (With Understanding Comes Calm) runs quite an interesting adult 2E support group (The Haystack) online which I went along to a few times which bring '2E' adults together to share frustrations and discuss coping strategies. www.additudemag.com/2e-adhd-autism-parent-child/
Seen the video now. I was also assessed with the DIVA. And the psychologist actually did also speak to my mom. For me it was 6/9 & 6/9 so also combined, but masked by ASD and learned strategies so still sometimes difficult to spot for myself even. My assessor herself was ADHD and she said she knew within minutes of meeting me that I most probably was ADHD too even though I came in looking to find out if I was autistic. So we had an extra session for the DIVA added and she took longer talking to mom to ask for ADHD stuff next to the ASD stuff.
I have tried meds too. My ASD became so much worse that I am now convinced my ADHD actually helps me function.
So glad to hear you're better now. Please take good care of you and thank you again for another video. Look forward to your videos about the combination. Take your time and take care Struan!
That all sounds almost identical to me, right down to my autistic traits becoming more pronounced on meds - really glad you've found your way through it all too. I also think my ADHD helps me function better. Take care!
Been a hot munute, good to see you back! Totally get it! ❤
Thanks!
Good to see you back!
Thanks!
Hi Struan. Lovely to see you. Definitely not an exercise in self indulgence. Your videos have been very helpful for me.
Thanks!
Really glad to see you back. Even though others have similar content, I really appreciate how thorough you are in documenting the subjective experience of it all. I'm also coming very late to realizing I'm both Autistic and ADHD, and your experience seems to have been very similar to mine in a lot of ways. You mentioned rethinking demand avoidance as a result of your recent struggles. I hope you'll be doing a video to talk more about that specifically. PDA is one of my most difficult hurdles in terms of my own experience of neurodivergence, aand I'd be very interested to hear what you have to say on the topic.
Mine too - I did a previous video on this but I want to come back to it now I'm a little further down the road in my own journey. The big breakthrough for me was essentially realising that demand = overwhelm/ fight or flight, and demand avoidance was protecting myself from overwhelm. The only way through it was working out what specifically about the task was overwhelming me and why. Different things will work for different people, for me it was going through a specific process of interrogating each time I got 'fizzy' and demand avoidant: can the thoughts leading to my 'fizz' be reframed in a different way to stop the avoidant reaction and can I give myself options on a way forward? As soon as there are options (for me), including NOT doing the thing, the fizz goes out of the task demand and it becomes easier. But it took a long time for the penny to drop for me, and to work out a way of turning the intellectual understanding of that into a workable 'real life' habit. Sorry, long wall-of-text answer, and even that is barely scratching the surface. I definitely want to do another video on this subject because I wasn't there yet with my first one (and I'm probably still not, but I'm closer)
I am so hypervigilant, I wpuld probably fail. I demand avoid socially (people overwhelm) but when it comes to work etc I am early, always finish, always get the job done perfectly and on time. I trained myself to be extrely competent at thilose things because I hated not finishing tasks.
Fear of failing literally spilling over into a test for neuro divergence. So I will probably never get tested.
The irony. 🎉
But I don't wear my glasses when commenting on youtube. 😂
🤣
Thanks for all info. Nice to see new content from you and hope to see much more :) Have a nice day.
Thanks!
Hey mate, the algorithm recommended chapter 31 and while it wasn't to a T exactly what happened to me it was more than close enough that I could feel the tears starting to form. I've just now started the series from the beginning but I first wanted to see where it ended up (being unable to avoid spoiling the end of things has been a common theme for me). Glad to see you're keeping on with it, even if there was an understandable break. That stick-to-it-iveness helps to give me hope that I'll be able to commit to the things that I want to achieve, even if I know it will be an almost endless struggle.
So, sincerely, cheers for sharing. I think that's the beauty of UA-cam, or at least it was back in the day, and it's nice to see a resurgence of that as the systems tailor themselves more to each individual's specific interests.
I'm at the point in this comment where the awkwardness is hitting hard so I'll just finish with a thanks and a hope that all of our journeys can take us to a point where we can look back with pride for who we end up being (as problematic as pride can be).
Thanks, what a lovely comment - and all the best with your own journey. I still struggle a lot with implementing all of the things I feel I want to do, and am trying to get more into the mindset of starting things without an aim of finishing them, rather than focussing on the finish. The pressure of the endpoint can remove the enjoyment of the process, but it's such a hard balance to find and get comfortable with. The work goes on!
Guess who's back... Back again... Struans back... Tell a friend
Lol - thanks Jenn! I've been following your content in my absence. I wanna talk to you about demand avoidance at some point! (not a demand though 🤣)
@amineurodivergent sorry, I'm gonna have to avoid this one...
JK I'm legitimately about to release a video on this and have been thinking about it a ton so yes please