Oh my goodness. I am an infp woman married to an isfp man. We actually mistyped him for an infp for most of the 8 years we have been together because we are so similar! And that created a lot of conflicts and almost broke us apart. But recently we discovered he is truly an isfp and now we are working together as a team much better. I can really appreciate him for taking me to the gym (although I cried the first few times and always feared my finger would get chopped off by the machines but now look at me.. I’ve lost 25lbs and I have a healthy routine/goal that gives balance to my chaotic life). Which btw he was a machinist for many years and then lost interest. As an isfp he lost interest in jobs easily and I was always afraid of his “carelessness” which was just him not being happy, not finding something passionate. I was always worried when he brought a new instrument home because I thought he was distracted by random hobbies instead of pursuing a career. But now I know how badly he just wanted freedom to find his art. And do things he cares about and can be recognized for. Compared to me, he can blend in to any crowd (while I blend into the wallpaper in fear of social interaction). He takes my scrambled eggs of a brain, admires me for it, and then helps me turn it into something less scrambled. Never take your isfp partner for granted, always support their free spirited mind, thank them for grounding your infp ditziness and teaching you how to better use Te. Be extremely patient and hear them out, they also need to express themselves since they are creative too. Its amazing how much we trust each other, catch each other’s mistakes, but in the kindest of ways… we take turns falling into space and giving reality checks. It’s really fun. When we laugh it hurts. Ironically our biggest issue is that we are too kind to each other, to the point that it is hard to give criticism. We are working on communicating better, resolving our conflicts instead of shying away, and trying to be more responsible as it is very difficult for us to focus sometimes. We have fun doing nothing which could also be unproductive. But making to-do lists and grocery lists and sharing a calendar together to split up tasks has really helped! That’s my ramble.. I was so excited to see this video as I love your sense of humor and insights! You’re right when we go hiking I can forget I am there, he’s always leading the way and is cautious of every step I take (although we still get lost most of the time).
Thank you so much for your nice comment about my channel and it's great to see my thoughts about ISFPs are somewhat echoed by you. When I went through years of working from home, I ended up having two ISFPs in my team chatting to me each day - both always checking in on me, making sure I wasn't too lost in my head, they had a great perspective of taking each day as it comes and really helped get me through it - assisted of course by their gentleness and understanding. With my INFJ and INFP friends it was a bit different, we cared about each other but we all had too many 'what ifs' going on in our heads.
Hi, nice hearing your positive thoughts about ISFPs 😊. I’m an ISFP woman and I’m married to an INFJ man. I don’t really have a lot of experience (at least that I know of) with INFPs. I’ve always felt a little bit jealous of INFPs though. I just always think they are so cute and quirky and sweet. I think they are more naturally empathetic and I think they pick up on things quicker. I hate when someone is telling me something and I’m supposed to “read between the lines” and I’m literally always like what? I have no idea what you are talking about. Tell me straight up or not at all lol. Sometimes I strain my little brain so hard to decipher the deeper or hidden meaning of what intuitive types are trying to say. My brain is going, “is this a joke 🤔 is this sarcasm? Am I supposed to laugh? If I laugh and they’re serious then they will think I’m an insensitive jerk but if I don’t laugh they’ll think I’m too uptight. So I usually just smile and nod and say,” really?”😂. Just saying “really?” Or “for real?” Or “whaaaaaat?” Has gotten me so far in life when I didn’t have a clue what somebody was talking about. Anyways I’m pretty sure my son is an infp and I love him to pieces! I do feel like I can understand him well. He’s emotional but very guarded with his feeling just like me. So yeah INFPs are great.
What a nice comment :) I think INFPs often feel the same about ISFPs, as also being cute and quirky and sweet. Your description of how you feel when people are asking you to read between the lines made me laugh because some close ISFP friends of mine have said nearly word for word what you've said haha. But I think this is also why I find them so refreshingly honest and upfront, at least most of the time :) I think your son is definitely lucky to have an ISFP for a mother.
I like ISFPs a lot. I just really don't care for Ni always wanting to give you unsolicited advice constantly. So kudos to the ones that tone that down a bit.
I never even thought of that actually - I've known maybe one or two who have done that and yeah, it's an Ni child thing I guess. Or just sometimes seeming like there's a tunnel-vision to their perception of things. Although sometimes it's refreshing too to hear their version of Ni, depending on the situation.
YES!!! Pretty much exactly like you said: when people ask for the differences in creativity of ISFP and INFP I say that a simple way of looking at it is that INFP are the lyrics and ISFP are the music! Also another point as an ISFP and one true to the stereotype of being an artist, I find one of the main reasons I make art and spend a lot of time learning about other peoples art is that I can initially struggle with understanding abstract concepts by just reading or hearing about them (I also have dyslexia) so studying art and seeing it laid out, albeit often in weird and unorthodox way, but also a way that is “concrete” in its metaphors and visual, I find I am able to process concepts a lot easier and think about them a lot deeper and expansively. I think many people confuse me for an INFP because I like and make very “weird” art and people who are just getting into MBTI think of Sensors as being uncreative “normies” and Intuitives as being the creative weirdos but thats not always the case.
Oh thank you for sharing this! I've noticed this thing with ISFPs, whether they're artists or not, where they really have that wonderful, powerful but unexplainable intuition that seems to guide them. And yeah, as for that idea of sensors being uncreative 'normies' it's very arrogant and very very incorrect. (Hm but especially in regards to ISFPs - who I think are also underrated storytellers and underrated with a lot of things, especially their insightfulness and wisdom)
I'm a entp, with 2 sons infp & isfp ! And I will say as fi trickster, these have helped me in personal finding my values..isfp son hates that my Ne/Ti don't shut up.. hes like GET TO THE POINT !!!! 🤣😅🤣
That's amazing two have an INFP and ISFP son btw lol. My Mum is an ENTP, I guess luckily I'm INFP and enjoy the way she speaks, that shared Ne is definitely a big connection between us :)
Some thoughts on your video: As an Fi dominant, I have some basic issues with the video I wish to bring up. 1) Introverted Feeling is a function based on personal values and feelings. It is not in any way shape or form interested in the feelings and values of others UNLESS they are directly shared with said Fi dom. 2) Your description of Fi - you saying that the core of the function is to read other people’s feelings - is incorrect. That would be roughly more akin to Extroverted Feeling (Extroverted Feeling, to simplify, is a function pertaining to reading the external emotional environs, and again Introverted feeling deals with internal emotional environs). 3) As you mentioned in a previous video, Fi doms CAN read facets of the external environment, but oftentimes directly clash with the external limbic environment. As a matter of fact, Extroverted Feeling is an Fi dom’s greatest source of tension - having to focus on and conduct activities pertaining to the general external limbic environment rather than activities which bring gratification to the Fi dom is among the most annoying things an Fi dom will ever go through. 4) Reading people’s emotions well, intrinsically that is, almost requires an intrinsic employment of extroverted feeling - which is not something Fi doms are particularly happy to use. 5) Why are you praising Fi doms for immediately vomiting up their entire life story in the first interaction? That would be like giving you my credit card info, social security info, and all my passwords and you calling me a good person for doing so. Where exactly is the logic in this??? 6) Your definitions of Ne and Se aren’t that great. Ne is simply mental ideation and perspective formulation - in oversimplified terms it allows you to develop new ways to look at, view or approach a singularity. Se is simply consumption of the physical world.
First of all: 5.) You could have used a better word instead of "vomiting", haven't you? Where is the Fe in this??? Second: Tell us an example: What info about a person (obviously not credit card info..) would you consider being LIKE a credit card info?
@@kaisfp Vomiting is actually the perfect word. For your example, let’s say you’re having a tough time with a relationship. You tell someone you’re having a tough relationship or going through money problems. People can then use that to perhaps spread rumors to you about other people, perhaps trying to drive a wedge, perhaps trying to get you into schemes they can benefit from. It puts you in a disadvantage over the other person.
@@ethanlynch8275 I didn't mean it that way, I didn't mean disadvantage when I wrote the stuff about vomiting, but instead what I meant is more like disgusting, and when you say to somebody (even just metaphorically) that they vomit (vomit words, problems, etc) it will make them feel that they (or their problems of whatevers) are disgusting in your opinion. You using the word "vomiting" implies that you are not interested in their problems and certainly not interested in the details so you don't want to hear a lot about it, actually don't want to hear about their problems at all, and that's totally fine. But I'm simply talking about word usage, either you are not aware or simply don't care that some words (like "vomiting") change the effect of your text, it effects how the other person will perceive your message, and what I mean by that is for ex. if you get the best gift ever at the Christmas tree, but the gift box looks like cr@p, you would have the exact same effect that your message does with the word "vomit" in it. Your message supposed to be a great gift for the person who you bought the gift (= a helpful criticism that can be used to grow, which is actually a great gift), but your gift-box have some vomit on it. SO MY POINT WAS (and still is): Nobody's gonna accept a really nice gift from you if you vomit on the gift-box. You getting friendlier with your Fe inferior function (Fi would be for ExTJ types) will make you become a person who can make pretty nice gift-boxes, and people will super-appreciate that. When you use Fe, you could try to think of your inferior-Fe as an employee for your dominant-Ti-boss-function, what I mean by that is that Fe does not necessarily have to be against Ti so to say, but in INTPs Fe is helping out Ti, if you use your inferior Fe to formulate your still-logically-internally-perfectly-consistent-Ti-thoughts in a slightly kinder way (simply avoiding words like the "vomit" word in this example) then much more people would listen to what you have to say, because personally I think what you have to say (in your first comment to vondelpete) is helpful, but in this case the gift-box had some vomit on it. Even me as an Fi-dom, I'm willing to go down to my 8th-Ti for you, I might not do a particularly good job at it, but I at least I try. Fe from you(=Ti-dom) to other feeling types is the nice-gift-box part. Ti from me(=Fi-dom) to you(=Ti-dom) is the nice-gift-box part, because if I would just talk to you kindly but inconsistently/incoherently/etc, simply my kind-gift inside my c@appy-inconsistent-Ti-gift-box to you wouldn't even look interesting, so you wouldn't even want to open it, so my message wouldn't be heard by you.
@@kaisfp First, let me clarify the “vomit” part. Vomiting is (most of the time) an involuntary process, one that often makes a person weaker. Push the right buttons and a similar, involuntary process where people in distress will openly discuss with others their problems and anxieties. You’re taught this in sales - ask questions to gather intel and gain trust, and after a person ‘vomits’ what you need, you provide them a solution that *magically* means you take money from them. Of course I think the people most inclined to immediately engage the figurative “vomiting” process are a bit dumb, but NEWSFLASH! I’ve engaged in that process of “vomiting” before as well, so that makes ME dumb as well. “Vomiting” in the figurative sense isn’t necessarily “disgusting” (it’s understandable why you made that connection though), and it’s not the main point I drive home. If I were to say something like “people discussing their problems”, I’m not properly evaluating the oftentimes involuntary nature of impulsive disclosure. Now of course, “vomiting” isn’t the most diplomatic word, and yes I recognize I’m not a diplomatic person and need to be better. But the word “vomiting”, unsociable it may be, is exactly accurate. Why do I not wrap my “gift packages” more carefully? I’ll answer your question, and then I will pose a follow up question. A very diplomatic criticism (“I really LOVE your video and love your content, and I in no way wish to be rude, but maybe Fi is an internal matter and not external. But what do I know, I’m just learning and love your content”) would be lost in a person’s self-reinforcement cycle, where they can tell themselves all day how great their content is and that they’re saying what other people want to hear, not even paying attention to their mistake. If I go with the blunt, honest approach (“No, you’re wrong, Fi by itself has nothing to do with reading people, it’s about internal limbic harmony. By the way your definitions of Ne and Se are also wrong”), then, if he’s intellectually honest with himself, he has to look at that criticism objectively and at least either make a good case as to why I’m a bloviating idiot who doesn’t know what he’s talking about, OR do his research and accept that my argument is logically correct. My follow-up question: Why would you rather have the package “wrapped well”? Wouldn’t you rather have people who are completely honest, tell you where you screwed up and providing honest, logical criticism? I’ve learned that anytime someone tries to “package” their message nice and soft is either lying to me or deliberately manipulating me, which necessarily entails an agenda/conflict of interest. Remember what I said above about sales. EVERY conversation is a sale, especially one where, instead of being told the harsh truth, people try to couch their words. And if they’re able to “hack” into your emotions, they can control (figuratively) what you see, what you feel, what you believe, and how you behave. Before you know it, you’re parting with your money... and perhaps your freedom, your power, your ability to control your environment, because you slipped and told the person in front of you the problems you were facing, and conveniently he told you he could make that problem instantly go away - if you have enough greens. Which is great for me if I’m doing the “hacking”, but if I’m the victim, in this situation I’ve lost the power dynamic. Emotions make people vulnerable, that is the harsh truth - I myself am an emotional person. Take for example that sales conversation, where the victim is giving away his money because he let critical information slip. EVERY relationship is a power dynamic. Or take for example US Government policy on Ukraine. Does the Media tell you the logical reasons why Ukraine is “in the right” (even though moral right/wrong is literally nothing more than a matter of perspective) or why it’s “important” (again a stretch) - for example, on a stretch one could actually argue that if Ukraine loses, then Russia will have a near monopoly on the flow of commodities into Europe, China will be in a much better position to develop better trade with the European powers through land, which completely sidesteps our Naval advantage AND allows China to outcompete us economically, and given the additional withdrawal from the Mid East, if Europe loses demand for our resources and trade, and we lose excess access (pun intended) in the Mid east, given American commerce needs, if Russia wins this war in Ukraine, given the above information, we will literally lose our ability to financially control the globe, we’ll lose significant trade volume, and what does that do? Inflation, scarcity of resources, potential “armed parties” - American quality of life goes permanently downhill. That is a legitimate argument in support of American efforts in Ukraine. But they don’t say that do they? What do they say? “Oh Russia ruthlessly bombed these civilian malls in Ukraine, how dare they!” (They won’t mention that Amnesty international discovered Ukraine was hiding troops and equip there though), or “Russia continues to target civilian infrastructure” (ignoring the fact that said “civilian infrastructure” - that is power grids, communications hubs - are essential components for vehicles to run, for comms to continue, which if lost Russia develops a significant advantage), or even better “Russia deliberately massacres Ukrainians in Bucha” (literally a fake story, they were trying to claim in April the bodies were there since March 19 2022 - even though bodies decompose within days, and those bodies WEREN’T decomposed, not to mention they had WHITE ARMBANDS, which signified that they got Russian food stamps - which makes it VERY likely Ukraine was behind the massacre, NOT RUSSIA). This is all emotional manipulation, meant to make you vulnerable and support extremely reckless decisions, such as flying our $32 million RIGHT TO THEIR BORDER and risking a third world war, or supporting laws that might frame certain people as domestic “problems”, or implementing further speech controls (just look at the Twitter files). Flowery language and presentation typically hides an agenda, they tell you what you want to hear in a way that convinces you to go along with what they’re doing AT YOUR EXPENSE. And when you learn sales, they TEACH you HOW to do this because it WORKS. And yes, I just vomited out all that information for your benefit. My blunt honesty is there to show you I have no malevolent agenda intended for this conversation.
Oh my goodness. I am an infp woman married to an isfp man. We actually mistyped him for an infp for most of the 8 years we have been together because we are so similar! And that created a lot of conflicts and almost broke us apart. But recently we discovered he is truly an isfp and now we are working together as a team much better.
I can really appreciate him for taking me to the gym (although I cried the first few times and always feared my finger would get chopped off by the machines but now look at me.. I’ve lost 25lbs and I have a healthy routine/goal that gives balance to my chaotic life). Which btw he was a machinist for many years and then lost interest. As an isfp he lost interest in jobs easily and I was always afraid of his “carelessness” which was just him not being happy, not finding something passionate. I was always worried when he brought a new instrument home because I thought he was distracted by random hobbies instead of pursuing a career. But now I know how badly he just wanted freedom to find his art. And do things he cares about and can be recognized for.
Compared to me, he can blend in to any crowd (while I blend into the wallpaper in fear of social interaction). He takes my scrambled eggs of a brain, admires me for it, and then helps me turn it into something less scrambled.
Never take your isfp partner for granted, always support their free spirited mind, thank them for grounding your infp ditziness and teaching you how to better use Te. Be extremely patient and hear them out, they also need to express themselves since they are creative too.
Its amazing how much we trust each other, catch each other’s mistakes, but in the kindest of ways… we take turns falling into space and giving reality checks. It’s really fun. When we laugh it hurts. Ironically our biggest issue is that we are too kind to each other, to the point that it is hard to give criticism. We are working on communicating better, resolving our conflicts instead of shying away, and trying to be more responsible as it is very difficult for us to focus sometimes. We have fun doing nothing which could also be unproductive. But making to-do lists and grocery lists and sharing a calendar together to split up tasks has really helped!
That’s my ramble.. I was so excited to see this video as I love your sense of humor and insights! You’re right when we go hiking I can forget I am there, he’s always leading the way and is cautious of every step I take (although we still get lost most of the time).
Thank you so much for your nice comment about my channel and it's great to see my thoughts about ISFPs are somewhat echoed by you. When I went through years of working from home, I ended up having two ISFPs in my team chatting to me each day - both always checking in on me, making sure I wasn't too lost in my head, they had a great perspective of taking each day as it comes and really helped get me through it - assisted of course by their gentleness and understanding. With my INFJ and INFP friends it was a bit different, we cared about each other but we all had too many 'what ifs' going on in our heads.
Hi, nice hearing your positive thoughts about ISFPs 😊. I’m an ISFP woman and I’m married to an INFJ man. I don’t really have a lot of experience (at least that I know of) with INFPs. I’ve always felt a little bit jealous of INFPs though. I just always think they are so cute and quirky and sweet. I think they are more naturally empathetic and I think they pick up on things quicker.
I hate when someone is telling me something and I’m supposed to “read between the lines” and I’m literally always like what? I have no idea what you are talking about. Tell me straight up or not at all lol. Sometimes I strain my little brain so hard to decipher the deeper or hidden meaning of what intuitive types are trying to say. My brain is going, “is this a joke 🤔 is this sarcasm? Am I supposed to laugh? If I laugh and they’re serious then they will think I’m an insensitive jerk but if I don’t laugh they’ll think I’m too uptight. So I usually just smile and nod and say,” really?”😂. Just saying “really?” Or “for real?” Or “whaaaaaat?” Has gotten me so far in life when I didn’t have a clue what somebody was talking about.
Anyways I’m pretty sure my son is an infp and I love him to pieces! I do feel like I can understand him well. He’s emotional but very guarded with his feeling just like me. So yeah INFPs are great.
What a nice comment :) I think INFPs often feel the same about ISFPs, as also being cute and quirky and sweet. Your description of how you feel when people are asking you to read between the lines made me laugh because some close ISFP friends of mine have said nearly word for word what you've said haha. But I think this is also why I find them so refreshingly honest and upfront, at least most of the time :) I think your son is definitely lucky to have an ISFP for a mother.
I like ISFPs a lot. I just really don't care for Ni always wanting to give you unsolicited advice constantly. So kudos to the ones that tone that down a bit.
I never even thought of that actually - I've known maybe one or two who have done that and yeah, it's an Ni child thing I guess. Or just sometimes seeming like there's a tunnel-vision to their perception of things. Although sometimes it's refreshing too to hear their version of Ni, depending on the situation.
YES!!! Pretty much exactly like you said: when people ask for the differences in creativity of ISFP and INFP I say that a simple way of looking at it is that INFP are the lyrics and ISFP are the music!
Also another point as an ISFP and one true to the stereotype of being an artist, I find one of the main reasons I make art and spend a lot of time learning about other peoples art is that I can initially struggle with understanding abstract concepts by just reading or hearing about them (I also have dyslexia) so studying art and seeing it laid out, albeit often in weird and unorthodox way, but also a way that is “concrete” in its metaphors and visual, I find I am able to process concepts a lot easier and think about them a lot deeper and expansively. I think many people confuse me for an INFP because I like and make very “weird” art and people who are just getting into MBTI think of Sensors as being uncreative “normies” and Intuitives as being the creative weirdos but thats not always the case.
Oh thank you for sharing this! I've noticed this thing with ISFPs, whether they're artists or not, where they really have that wonderful, powerful but unexplainable intuition that seems to guide them. And yeah, as for that idea of sensors being uncreative 'normies' it's very arrogant and very very incorrect. (Hm but especially in regards to ISFPs - who I think are also underrated storytellers and underrated with a lot of things, especially their insightfulness and wisdom)
I do not feel the emotional connexion with isfp but I have always been fascinated by their mastery over SE
My biggest shock is seeing when an ISFP gets pushed to a limit and their explosive Se assertion, it's very inspiring...
Robert Greene is an INFP writer - and apparently Shakespeare & Tolkien were INFP's too
Wish I knew more isfps.
An isfp girlfriend would be totally great.
Even conflicts with them feel comfortable.
Yep isfps are good people for my being.
Yeah, most of them are just great honestly, such a fun and calming presence for INFPs.
I still can’t seem to figure out which of these two types I am…
I'm a entp, with 2 sons infp & isfp ! And I will say as fi trickster, these have helped me in personal finding my values..isfp son hates that my Ne/Ti don't shut up.. hes like GET TO THE POINT !!!! 🤣😅🤣
That's amazing two have an INFP and ISFP son btw lol. My Mum is an ENTP, I guess luckily I'm INFP and enjoy the way she speaks, that shared Ne is definitely a big connection between us :)
@@vondelpete tor sure, the infp doesn't have issues so much with me rambling so much .
Listen to Michael Patrick Kelly. An amazing ISFP! He's great at both writing, singing and performing. The best concerts ever!
Ah thank you I will!
Some thoughts on your video:
As an Fi dominant, I have some basic issues with the video I wish to bring up.
1) Introverted Feeling is a function based on personal values and feelings. It is not in any way shape or form interested in the feelings and values of others UNLESS they are directly shared with said Fi dom.
2) Your description of Fi - you saying that the core of the function is to read other people’s feelings - is incorrect. That would be roughly more akin to Extroverted Feeling (Extroverted Feeling, to simplify, is a function pertaining to reading the external emotional environs, and again Introverted feeling deals with internal emotional environs).
3) As you mentioned in a previous video, Fi doms CAN read facets of the external environment, but oftentimes directly clash with the external limbic environment. As a matter of fact, Extroverted Feeling is an Fi dom’s greatest source of tension - having to focus on and conduct activities pertaining to the general external limbic environment rather than activities which bring gratification to the Fi dom is among the most annoying things an Fi dom will ever go through.
4) Reading people’s emotions well, intrinsically that is, almost requires an intrinsic employment of extroverted feeling - which is not something Fi doms are particularly happy to use.
5) Why are you praising Fi doms for immediately vomiting up their entire life story in the first interaction? That would be like giving you my credit card info, social security info, and all my passwords and you calling me a good person for doing so. Where exactly is the logic in this???
6) Your definitions of Ne and Se aren’t that great. Ne is simply mental ideation and perspective formulation - in oversimplified terms it allows you to develop new ways to look at, view or approach a singularity. Se is simply consumption of the physical world.
Fi or not INFPs and ENFPs are NFs (Diplomats). What do you think NFs do? They are the people people. They can't help it.
First of all:
5.) You could have used a better word instead of "vomiting", haven't you?
Where is the Fe in this???
Second:
Tell us an example: What info about a person (obviously not credit card info..) would you consider being LIKE a credit card info?
@@kaisfp Vomiting is actually the perfect word. For your example, let’s say you’re having a tough time with a relationship. You tell someone you’re having a tough relationship or going through money problems. People can then use that to perhaps spread rumors to you about other people, perhaps trying to drive a wedge, perhaps trying to get you into schemes they can benefit from.
It puts you in a disadvantage over the other person.
@@ethanlynch8275 I didn't mean it that way, I didn't mean disadvantage when I wrote the stuff about vomiting,
but instead what I meant is more like disgusting, and when you say to somebody (even just metaphorically) that they vomit (vomit words, problems, etc) it will make them feel that they (or their problems of whatevers) are disgusting in your opinion.
You using the word "vomiting" implies that you are not interested in their problems and certainly not interested in the details so you don't want to hear a lot about it, actually don't want to hear about their problems at all, and that's totally fine.
But I'm simply talking about word usage,
either you are not aware or simply don't care that some words (like "vomiting") change the effect of your text,
it effects how the other person will perceive your message,
and what I mean by that is for ex. if you get the best gift ever at the Christmas tree, but the gift box looks like cr@p, you would have the exact same effect that your message does with the word "vomit" in it.
Your message supposed to be a great gift for the person who you bought the gift (= a helpful criticism that can be used to grow, which is actually a great gift),
but your gift-box have some vomit on it.
SO MY POINT WAS (and still is):
Nobody's gonna accept a really nice gift from you
if you vomit on the gift-box.
You getting friendlier with your Fe inferior function (Fi would be for ExTJ types) will make you become a person
who can make pretty nice gift-boxes,
and people will super-appreciate that.
When you use Fe, you could try to think of your inferior-Fe as an employee for your dominant-Ti-boss-function,
what I mean by that is that Fe does not necessarily have to be against Ti so to say,
but in INTPs Fe is helping out Ti,
if you use your inferior Fe to formulate your still-logically-internally-perfectly-consistent-Ti-thoughts in a slightly kinder way (simply avoiding words like the "vomit" word in this example) then much more people would listen to what you have to say,
because personally I think what you have to say (in your first comment to vondelpete) is helpful, but in this case the gift-box had some vomit on it.
Even me as an Fi-dom, I'm willing to go down to my 8th-Ti for you,
I might not do a particularly good job at it,
but I at least I try.
Fe from you(=Ti-dom) to other feeling types is the nice-gift-box part.
Ti from me(=Fi-dom) to you(=Ti-dom) is the nice-gift-box part,
because if I would just talk to you kindly but inconsistently/incoherently/etc,
simply my kind-gift inside my c@appy-inconsistent-Ti-gift-box to you wouldn't even look interesting,
so you wouldn't even want to open it,
so my message wouldn't be heard by you.
@@kaisfp First, let me clarify the “vomit” part.
Vomiting is (most of the time) an involuntary process, one that often makes a person weaker. Push the right buttons and a similar, involuntary process where people in distress will openly discuss with others their problems and anxieties. You’re taught this in sales - ask questions to gather intel and gain trust, and after a person ‘vomits’ what you need, you provide them a solution that *magically* means you take money from them. Of course I think the people most inclined to immediately engage the figurative “vomiting” process are a bit dumb, but NEWSFLASH! I’ve engaged in that process of “vomiting” before as well, so that makes ME dumb as well.
“Vomiting” in the figurative sense isn’t necessarily “disgusting” (it’s understandable why you made that connection though), and it’s not the main point I drive home. If I were to say something like “people discussing their problems”, I’m not properly evaluating the oftentimes involuntary nature of impulsive disclosure.
Now of course, “vomiting” isn’t the most diplomatic word, and yes I recognize I’m not a diplomatic person and need to be better. But the word “vomiting”, unsociable it may be, is exactly accurate.
Why do I not wrap my “gift packages” more carefully? I’ll answer your question, and then I will pose a follow up question. A very diplomatic criticism (“I really LOVE your video and love your content, and I in no way wish to be rude, but maybe Fi is an internal matter and not external. But what do I know, I’m just learning and love your content”) would be lost in a person’s self-reinforcement cycle, where they can tell themselves all day how great their content is and that they’re saying what other people want to hear, not even paying attention to their mistake. If I go with the blunt, honest approach (“No, you’re wrong, Fi by itself has nothing to do with reading people, it’s about internal limbic harmony. By the way your definitions of Ne and Se are also wrong”), then, if he’s intellectually honest with himself, he has to look at that criticism objectively and at least either make a good case as to why I’m a bloviating idiot who doesn’t know what he’s talking about, OR do his research and accept that my argument is logically correct.
My follow-up question: Why would you rather have the package “wrapped well”? Wouldn’t you rather have people who are completely honest, tell you where you screwed up and providing honest, logical criticism? I’ve learned that anytime someone tries to “package” their message nice and soft is either lying to me or deliberately manipulating me, which necessarily entails an agenda/conflict of interest. Remember what I said above about sales. EVERY conversation is a sale, especially one where, instead of being told the harsh truth, people try to couch their words. And if they’re able to “hack” into your emotions, they can control (figuratively) what you see, what you feel, what you believe, and how you behave. Before you know it, you’re parting with your money... and perhaps your freedom, your power, your ability to control your environment, because you slipped and told the person in front of you the problems you were facing, and conveniently he told you he could make that problem instantly go away - if you have enough greens. Which is great for me if I’m doing the “hacking”, but if I’m the victim, in this situation I’ve lost the power dynamic.
Emotions make people vulnerable, that is the harsh truth - I myself am an emotional person. Take for example that sales conversation, where the victim is giving away his money because he let critical information slip. EVERY relationship is a power dynamic. Or take for example US Government policy on Ukraine. Does the Media tell you the logical reasons why Ukraine is “in the right” (even though moral right/wrong is literally nothing more than a matter of perspective) or why it’s “important” (again a stretch) - for example, on a stretch one could actually argue that if Ukraine loses, then Russia will have a near monopoly on the flow of commodities into Europe, China will be in a much better position to develop better trade with the European powers through land, which completely sidesteps our Naval advantage AND allows China to outcompete us economically, and given the additional withdrawal from the Mid East, if Europe loses demand for our resources and trade, and we lose excess access (pun intended) in the Mid east, given American commerce needs, if Russia wins this war in Ukraine, given the above information, we will literally lose our ability to financially control the globe, we’ll lose significant trade volume, and what does that do? Inflation, scarcity of resources, potential “armed parties” - American quality of life goes permanently downhill. That is a legitimate argument in support of American efforts in Ukraine.
But they don’t say that do they? What do they say?
“Oh Russia ruthlessly bombed these civilian malls in Ukraine, how dare they!” (They won’t mention that Amnesty international discovered Ukraine was hiding troops and equip there though), or “Russia continues to target civilian infrastructure” (ignoring the fact that said “civilian infrastructure” - that is power grids, communications hubs - are essential components for vehicles to run, for comms to continue, which if lost Russia develops a significant advantage), or even better “Russia deliberately massacres Ukrainians in Bucha” (literally a fake story, they were trying to claim in April the bodies were there since March 19 2022 - even though bodies decompose within days, and those bodies WEREN’T decomposed, not to mention they had WHITE ARMBANDS, which signified that they got Russian food stamps - which makes it VERY likely Ukraine was behind the massacre, NOT RUSSIA). This is all emotional manipulation, meant to make you vulnerable and support extremely reckless decisions, such as flying our $32 million RIGHT TO THEIR BORDER and risking a third world war, or supporting laws that might frame certain people as domestic “problems”, or implementing further speech controls (just look at the Twitter files).
Flowery language and presentation typically hides an agenda, they tell you what you want to hear in a way that convinces you to go along with what they’re doing AT YOUR EXPENSE. And when you learn sales, they TEACH you HOW to do this because it WORKS.
And yes, I just vomited out all that information for your benefit. My blunt honesty is there to show you I have no malevolent agenda intended for this conversation.