I read all 337 books in Skyrim so you don't have to | Unraveled

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  • Опубліковано 21 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 14 тис.

  • @EllaBonbon
    @EllaBonbon 4 роки тому +29835

    All the different angles make me feel like I’m multiple students attending his weird class

    • @ellerynelson8918
      @ellerynelson8918 4 роки тому +696

      44EllaBonbon44 this comment made me make the single grossest laugh I have ever done. I’m pretty sure i sounded like a donkey on crack. I’m sick and I laughed and coughed at the same time

    • @EllaBonbon
      @EllaBonbon 4 роки тому +316

      Ellery Oh my gosh lol. You’ve made my day with your crackhead donkey laugh.

    • @chromatic_fate7114
      @chromatic_fate7114 4 роки тому +233

      I would LOVE Brian David as my college professor

    • @user-ik7vm1kt6q
      @user-ik7vm1kt6q 4 роки тому +46

      ARandomFandomFan that sounds like a questionable porno

    • @14o1chan
      @14o1chan 4 роки тому +59

      Where do I enroll?

  • @DrewColpurs
    @DrewColpurs 5 років тому +13611

    I want a mod to add him into the game as an NPC book collector trying to get his hands on some of these books and you can take quests from him to give them to him. It'll help highlight these more interesting books.

    • @deffdefying4803
      @deffdefying4803 5 років тому +1704

      And if you give him a particular one he takes a moment to read it then looks up at you completely dead-eyed and
      *_R I V E T I N G_*

    • @spthibault
      @spthibault 5 років тому +843

      Thats... just flipping genius... modding community! You have a side quest!

    • @IlSharmouta
      @IlSharmouta 5 років тому +405

      I thought you were gonna say just make his quest to read those books as he said. It'll activate when you find one of them, and give you 300 gold (...pieces) if you flip through every page

    • @vikitty604
      @vikitty604 5 років тому +387

      So basically we should replace the vanilla NPC who asks you to hunt down books for the mage's guild.

    • @Missdreavus1
      @Missdreavus1 5 років тому +244

      You get extra payment if you take a quiz he gives you on the contents of some of the books

  • @serenazhang4832
    @serenazhang4832 4 роки тому +3165

    brian’s brain is the most organized chaos i’ve ever seen

    • @mrstarrynite7656
      @mrstarrynite7656 4 роки тому +89

      I read that as Brain's Brian

    • @ricochet4674
      @ricochet4674 4 роки тому +100

      "Imma do something weird and random. But by gods name, it will be done correctly"

    • @rhileyholmes5287
      @rhileyholmes5287 3 роки тому +3

      @UCiWIfZSqwh5Q_2snvF1EU-Q ughhh this Boi is sexy affff

    • @bruvmoment1139
      @bruvmoment1139 3 роки тому +7

      Organized and chaos? so Brian is Jyggalag and Sheogorath all in one

    • @VibeDPyro
      @VibeDPyro 3 роки тому +6

      I wish to be taught this power

  • @HMan12345
    @HMan12345 Рік тому +4545

    The Lusty Argonian Maid is the Elder Scrolls equivalent to those erotic visual novel games where you start because you wanna see sexy times but then complete the games because your engrossed into the story of people in the game.
    The sexiest thing of all is being emotionally open and caring

    • @sage-py6fr
      @sage-py6fr Рік тому +27

      echo? idk dont spoil it

    • @marcuswestphal4955
      @marcuswestphal4955 Рік тому +14

      That is a book that exists in skyrim lol?

    • @death-kyun
      @death-kyun Рік тому +244

      It became a work of satire for me because all female Argonians have smokers lung, and reading the maids lines with that kind of voice makes me laugh.

    • @Balam_Gordoa
      @Balam_Gordoa Рік тому +33

      That's Adastra for the furs out there.

    • @emptyjumplow
      @emptyjumplow Рік тому +1

      @@marcuswestphal4955 yes

  • @gf-official
    @gf-official 4 роки тому +5413

    coming back to this after the halo video is like looking at firelord ozai's baby pictures

    • @DarthRelkew
      @DarthRelkew 4 роки тому +90

      Amen to that

    • @JiffyJames85
      @JiffyJames85 4 роки тому +144

      Coming to this after Halo is somewhat disappointing. In most videos he has a dry, sarcastic, sometimes self-deprecating, always funny theme running under the sated goal. In this one, he just seems to be doing exactly what he stated he was going to do.

    • @saltypumpkin927
      @saltypumpkin927 4 роки тому +137

      JiffyJames85 it’s impressive to see how much his content has evolved

    • @alycias7345
      @alycias7345 4 роки тому +15

      i appreciate this comment 10/10 reference

    • @sydshu5550
      @sydshu5550 4 роки тому +9

      I’m doing the same AND YOU ARE RIGHT

  • @derpyherpy3773
    @derpyherpy3773 5 років тому +13199

    He's become the new librarian of the College of Winterhold

    • @rahulverma8774
      @rahulverma8774 5 років тому +177

      I hope he manages to tolerate tht irritating orc ............

    • @Moonhunter97
      @Moonhunter97 5 років тому +348

      New librarian or not, Urag's rules about books still stand

    • @larrysal8866
      @larrysal8866 5 років тому +58

      @@rahulverma8774 i like that guy :')

    • @lordihlendam3619
      @lordihlendam3619 5 років тому +80

      *A S S O R T E D B O O K S*

    • @shadowdepths2486
      @shadowdepths2486 5 років тому +6

      Neva loved Urag Gro-Shub

  • @elschaefer3448
    @elschaefer3448 5 років тому +21904

    No joke, I'd pay real money to see those staged readings of Skyrim drama

  • @theophrastusbombastus1359
    @theophrastusbombastus1359 2 роки тому +1666

    My favourite book was the one where the guy has his men around the table for dinner, and knows one of them has betrayed him.
    He waits until they have all eaten before telling them all that he knows of the plot and has poisoned only the traitor's food - whilst the antidote is in either a wine vessel or dessert or some such.
    The guilty party immediately dives for the antidote and guzzles it down.
    Only then, does the man reveal that he wasn't _exactly_ sure which one betrayed him, and so he launched a trap.
    Turns out, the food was never poisoned, and the "antidote" was indeed the poison all along.
    In one fell swoop the man was able to not only identify his enemy, but deliver his punishment simultaneously.
    Absolute legend.

    • @luxiam9148
      @luxiam9148 Рік тому +66

      Damn, that's a very good one. Do you remember the name of the book?

    • @shadowshatto
      @shadowshatto Рік тому

      A game at dinner@@luxiam9148

    • @Gumper30
      @Gumper30 Рік тому +234

      ​@luxiam9148 "a game at dinner." it's also a skillbook for alchemy since it teaches your character about poisoning people, lol

    • @lavabiscuits
      @lavabiscuits Рік тому +73

      The alternate last supper.

    • @leonardocota4703
      @leonardocota4703 Рік тому +14

      A GAME AT DINNER IS GREAT

  • @breloomy
    @breloomy 6 років тому +4446

    brian you _cannot_ and _will not_ stop me from reading all the books in skyrim

  • @LastTheNoel
    @LastTheNoel 5 років тому +3508

    Fun tip for you Skyrim lore nerds: there is a website called The Imperial Library that has every single piece of written media from every single game.

    • @troyna77
      @troyna77 5 років тому

      Ty

    • @aidanquiett668
      @aidanquiett668 5 років тому +5

      Thanks, should make actually reading the chronological books easier then

    • @nathanhorton8873
      @nathanhorton8873 5 років тому +1

      Oh dear god...

    • @MethuselahWinter
      @MethuselahWinter 5 років тому +2

      AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! T H A N K Y O U!!

    • @MethuselahWinter
      @MethuselahWinter 5 років тому

      LastTheNoel Also there is a website devoted to the dragon language and you can translate words and phrases in to dragon tongue and vice versa! It’s incredible!!

  • @starwarsfool
    @starwarsfool 5 років тому +4354

    Brian *reads all books in skyrim*
    *Hermaeus Mora wants to know your location*

  • @andyb2977
    @andyb2977 2 роки тому +1019

    I love that The Book of Fate (which is a blank page) is included in the list of good fiction.
    The Book of Fate shows the destined fate of the reader. The player's character is a hero, which in TES lore is someone who is unbounded by fate and free to forge their own destiny.

    • @fapl985
      @fapl985 Рік тому +65

      Thank you for this, kind strangers. I was trying to find "the book of fate" in a collection I own and was almost losing my mind

    • @NigerianCrusader
      @NigerianCrusader Рік тому +18

      AND THERE IS ALSO A BOOK CALLED THE PIRATE

    • @lavabiscuits
      @lavabiscuits Рік тому +7

      ​@@NigerianCrusaderis that the fith book of beggar, thief, warrior, king?

    • @NigerianCrusader
      @NigerianCrusader Рік тому +7

      NOPE ITS STANDALONE@@lavabiscuits

    • @reddsaint2600
      @reddsaint2600 9 місяців тому +23

      A bit of lore behind that,
      Our heroes in every game aren't born under any of the star signs on the standing stones, they are technically born under The Prisoner sign. The Warrior takes away the Prisoner's skills, the Thief takes away their possessions, and the Mage takes away their identity. When The Prisoner is freed (and the character customized) it is their symbolic act of becoming anything they desire and being unbound by the Fate of the Aurbis. There are a lot of pages that explain it better than me, but that's the basics.

  • @controllerfreak78
    @controllerfreak78 3 роки тому +19123

    You’re completely wrong. The best book in Skyrim is the one where a little girl has a meeting with some dragons and asks them “how do you speak when your jaws and lips are clearly not designed to create human speech?“ And the dragons respond “the same way our bat like wings carry us when we’re obviously too heavy to fly”

    • @DooblesGoDoobles
      @DooblesGoDoobles 3 роки тому +2333

      m a g i c k , b a b y

    • @taakotuesdays
      @taakotuesdays 3 роки тому +2124

      according to all known laws of aviation- [I AM SHOT]

    • @matthewcampbell3155
      @matthewcampbell3155 3 роки тому +412

      Whats this book called?

    • @controllerfreak78
      @controllerfreak78 3 роки тому +191

      @i want to commit literal genocide. sadly I don't remember, it's been nearly a decade since I read it and I couldn't find it by googling it

    • @aboveaveragecat44
      @aboveaveragecat44 3 роки тому +253

      What about a hot lizard

  • @VicinalGuide69
    @VicinalGuide69 5 років тому +3642

    Brian, I have bad news for you. The people who want to read Skyrim histories are the same people who want to watch videos about Skyrim books.
    In this essay I will

    • @harrylane4
      @harrylane4 5 років тому +85

      thank you for coming to my ted talk

    • @CptCoco35
      @CptCoco35 5 років тому +15

      IS EVERYTHING OKAY AT HOME??

    • @2345tomson
      @2345tomson 5 років тому +42

      WHERE'S THE ESSAY. But really I would love to have an audio book set with all of these fully voice acted.

    • @Karkatrielle
      @Karkatrielle 5 років тому +4

      You will what?!

    • @sircatfaceesq578
      @sircatfaceesq578 5 років тому +6

      Where’s the essay OP?!

  • @bee-zeesoul1018
    @bee-zeesoul1018 4 роки тому +3005

    3:30 So, in summary: Four guys went to a place, had a conversation, and then went home.

    • @prim16
      @prim16 4 роки тому +226

      rIVETING

    • @rinodino13
      @rinodino13 4 роки тому +140

      And they became buddies :-))))

    • @rinodino13
      @rinodino13 4 роки тому +77

      @GiantGoblin oh my god, they were roommates...

    • @megy570
      @megy570 4 роки тому +62

      The true friends was the conversation we had along the way.

    • @bannerturtoise1219
      @bannerturtoise1219 4 роки тому +4

      That's just a basic nightout

  • @whymihere86
    @whymihere86 2 роки тому +4263

    If only Brian had learned that Bethesda printed whole collections of the books so he didn't have to print them.

    • @polygon
      @polygon  2 роки тому +3136

      He loved to print. He just lived for printing.

    • @wanamingo4961
      @wanamingo4961 2 роки тому +1008

      @@polygon polygon why do you say this like he’s dead. Did pat use gnarly wrestling moves to huck him through a table or something.

    • @mischiefandmisadventurestu1878
      @mischiefandmisadventurestu1878 2 роки тому +193

      @@wanamingo4961 brian left polygon

    • @blucheavy3282
      @blucheavy3282 2 роки тому +505

      @@mischiefandmisadventurestu1878 no he died

    • @Argusthecat
      @Argusthecat 2 роки тому +672

      @@polygon "He loved to print. He still does, but he also used to as well."

  • @MysterousBear
    @MysterousBear 3 роки тому +7874

    For anyone on PC, just a heads up that there's an awesome audiobook mod that collected a bunch of voice actors to read almost all of these books. When you pick one up, you get the option to start the audio book. It's actually a really awesome way to experience them, whilst hunting deer or organizing cheese wheels or whatever people do in skyrim after 10 years of playing it

    • @arx3516
      @arx3516 3 роки тому +384

      When books become holotapes.

    • @Secret07261
      @Secret07261 3 роки тому +212

      The Elder Scrolls: Borderlands

    • @valentinfranco4528
      @valentinfranco4528 2 роки тому +8

      I thought it was ported to console?

    • @hmmyou2544
      @hmmyou2544 2 роки тому +4

      @@newguy371 ...yes you can?

    • @hmmyou2544
      @hmmyou2544 2 роки тому +51

      @@newguy371 Skyrim Special Edition LITERALLY has a built in modding system fully supported, included and endorsed by Bethesda

  • @GlitchCrunch
    @GlitchCrunch 5 років тому +4730

    Can we have BDG and the rest of the Polygon staff perform the whole Lusty Argonian Maid play?

    • @TamaCinema69
      @TamaCinema69 5 років тому +71

      Chris Brinkley I need this to happen

    • @JMarchel
      @JMarchel 5 років тому +13

      PLEASE

    • @TamaCinema69
      @TamaCinema69 5 років тому +19

      May Bracy you doubt their theatrical strength?

    • @TamaCinema69
      @TamaCinema69 5 років тому +33

      @@voiceofsaph3225 It is my belief that they are the ultimate thespians.

    • @KamekFox
      @KamekFox 5 років тому +53

      Chris Brinkley the maid should be a random lizard they find somewhere

  • @RegiRuler
    @RegiRuler 6 років тому +1652

    "They are valid.
    And they're wrong.
    And they always seem to find my comment sections."

    • @SorchaSublime
      @SorchaSublime 5 років тому +50

      I was scrolling through the comments while the video played. Somehow the second I got to this comment, this line played. I am a sorcerer.

    • @az-sy7be
      @az-sy7be 5 років тому +5

      323 likes and 1 comment

    • @Nikapocalypse
      @Nikapocalypse 5 років тому +2

      Been trying to get UA-cam's "end" URL parameter to work for like 10 minutes so I could send just that to a friend...

    • @mittensfastpaw
      @mittensfastpaw 5 років тому +1

      RegiRuler 5:23 AM you get your 1,400 like 10 months later you swine!

  • @beebix247
    @beebix247 2 роки тому +599

    Brian, I've got some potentially sad news: Waughin Jarth is probably dead. He's a Breton author who was around during the late third era, which means it's unlikely he'd be alive by the time of Skyrim as he'd be well over 200 years old.

    • @pedrojose660
      @pedrojose660 2 роки тому +133

      Time for a necromancer to get him back on the writing table

    • @ZoraHimself
      @ZoraHimself Рік тому +20

      ​@@pedrojose660Let's hope he'll find a particular disk and not mistakes the names

    • @goranpersson7726
      @goranpersson7726 Рік тому +7

      or he could go the boring route and idk show up as a ghost or something

    • @redthunderbird7332
      @redthunderbird7332 Рік тому +10

      So he really is like the Tolkien of Skyrim

    • @plugshirt1762
      @plugshirt1762 10 місяців тому +7

      @@goranpersson7726 Yeah like being dead means nothing in the elder scrolls lol half the important characters we meet are dead

  • @masonweaver5455
    @masonweaver5455 5 років тому +6853

    “what qualifies you to do this?” *ignores creative writing degree from Hopkins*

    • @genuineinterest
      @genuineinterest 5 років тому +453

      I think reading all 337 books was probably more effort than getting a degree tbh

    • @allrad4911
      @allrad4911 5 років тому +90

      @@genuineinterest Well, no.

    • @NotAFanNAF
      @NotAFanNAF 5 років тому +96

      @@allrad4911 I think he was being sarcastic, if he wasn't though that wouldn't matter because you are right

    • @8Rincewind
      @8Rincewind 5 років тому +57

      @@NotAFanNAF wait, you actually think a degree makes you an authority what is and isn't "good" fiction? It's all subjective. Brian's intelligence and experience means he can give a more nuanced and informed opinion, but it's still an opinion.

    • @NotAFanNAF
      @NotAFanNAF 5 років тому +87

      @@8Rincewind I don't even know man, someone here is right but it's probably not me

  • @basil5435
    @basil5435 4 роки тому +1839

    “beggar, thief, warrior, king” is my favorite song by the oh hellos

  • @DJ_Penguin
    @DJ_Penguin 4 роки тому +3735

    "I read everything, I am the keeper of the picture" This man needs his own NPC in the Arcanaeum with a bunch of lines from this video. Modders I'm looking at you

    • @rezandrarizkyirianto-1933
      @rezandrarizkyirianto-1933 4 роки тому +297

      I want Urag to just randomly shout "SKYYRIM BOOK REPOOOOORRT!"

    • @CarlosFadiga
      @CarlosFadiga 4 роки тому +67

      OH, GOD. YES, PLEASE!

    • @tuesdaynext7370
      @tuesdaynext7370 4 роки тому +183

      He could give you a quest where you have to bring him a copy of all of Jarth's books.

    • @Clicint
      @Clicint 4 роки тому +94

      Low key want a small quest line where you can hear this entire rant.

    • @m0nkeywrench
      @m0nkeywrench 4 роки тому +47

      Nah he'd probably be wandering through Apocrypha at this point

  • @giggityguy
    @giggityguy 2 роки тому +3286

    The Real Barenziah is like fanfiction, in that it starts out incredibly horny as the main character screws everyone in sight, and then gets way too real and horribly depressing as the author gets bogged down in lore and heavy storytelling.

    • @jewelv1600
      @jewelv1600 2 роки тому +105

      IM SORRY W H A T

    • @giggityguy
      @giggityguy 2 роки тому +489

      @@jewelv1600 Oh yeah, apparently "all young dunmer are promiscuous" and she has lots of partners when she's young.
      And then she gets caught up in numerous political love affairs and becomes the mistress of Tiber Septim himself, most of the people she loves end up dying, she falls out of favor with Talos, and gets tricked into revealing the Staff of Chaos by Jagar Tharn.
      At least, that's what I remember from reading it several years ago

    • @argella1300
      @argella1300 2 роки тому +194

      @@jewelv1600 yep. Then you meet her granddaughter in Skyrim during the Thieve’s Guild quest line!

    • @ahobbit1273
      @ahobbit1273 2 роки тому +34

      @@giggityguy That feels like a fantasy version of Roxana by Daniel Defoe 🤔
      (Which is also terrible btw)

    • @CoRLex-jh5vx
      @CoRLex-jh5vx 2 роки тому +78

      @@giggityguy also feels very fanfic-y where she pops out a few kids who are then barely mentioned again

  • @atticuso3831
    @atticuso3831 4 роки тому +4879

    He’s not exaggerating about The Chronicles of Nchuleft. I read the whole thing. It’s all like that.

    • @Shazam-rj9js
      @Shazam-rj9js 4 роки тому +334

      You poor, poor soul. WHY

    • @Ahmed-vk8pv
      @Ahmed-vk8pv 4 роки тому +240

      Can you tell me more about general Rkungthunch? Was he a dwemer by any chance?

    • @Gh0StF1sHy
      @Gh0StF1sHy 4 роки тому +91

      @@Ahmed-vk8pv Just going by the name; I would think so.

    • @Punchy-Mango
      @Punchy-Mango 4 роки тому +68

      I carry that book around as a grim reminder

    • @atticuso3831
      @atticuso3831 4 роки тому +195

      Ahmed He was a dumb bitch and the only information I retained from the book was that A) I hated reading it and B) No he wasn’t a dwemer they were ruins when he got there the dwemer were gone

  • @sbeveguggenheim4935
    @sbeveguggenheim4935 4 роки тому +2275

    Bethesda pulls this stuff all the time. When making Oblivion they gave Sir Patrick Stewart and ENTIRE BINDER about the character he voices. A character that lives for a solid 5 minutes.

    • @Liggliluff
      @Liggliluff 4 роки тому +317

      But if I recall it, he still loved readin it and getting into the character, even though it was just 5 minutes. But I can't find any information about this binder even.

    • @johnpage1622
      @johnpage1622 4 роки тому +95

      @@Liggliluff Oblivion behind the scenes... There was a bonus disc that came with the Oblivion Special Edition.

    • @har-binger7645
      @har-binger7645 3 роки тому +21

      I dream to be that extra one day

    • @funnyvalentinedidnothingwrong
      @funnyvalentinedidnothingwrong 3 роки тому +32

      @Ben Affleck Is An Ok Actor The thing is, you really don't _need_ a binder's worth of details to educate someone on the importance of Uriel Septim. Going that far to ensure a VA has an accurate grasp on a character with, like, eight lines in the game he's in is very extra.

  • @Erinndraper
    @Erinndraper 4 роки тому +2593

    Legends has it, he films this all on one camera multiple times

    • @aggrave790
      @aggrave790 4 роки тому +33

      ​@@ellacsarno411 It's a joke you walnut

    • @ellacsarno411
      @ellacsarno411 4 роки тому +14

      @@aggrave790 yaaa i shouldnt be writing comments overcoffeinated at 3am

    • @sacex594
      @sacex594 4 роки тому +6

      @@aggrave790 love the use of the word walnut haha

    • @aggrave790
      @aggrave790 4 роки тому +5

      @@sacex594 Thanks I definitely stole it from something but I don't remember what.

    • @Void-cn6rn
      @Void-cn6rn 4 роки тому +4

      Just reading this comment hurts me.

  • @MadMusic26
    @MadMusic26 2 роки тому +2174

    “I read every book in Skyrim!”
    Me: Wow, that’s impressive!
    “I printed it out in 5.5 font.”
    Me: Wow, this guy is mad!

  • @bloodbond3
    @bloodbond3 5 років тому +1578

    It's been over a year and I still think about "RIVETING" and "HOW DARE YOU JETTISON MY GIFT?!"
    As a Brian, I concede that BDG is the best Brian.

    • @loofig6939
      @loofig6939 4 роки тому +10

      Brian Cuellar that was legendary

    • @ihaveaname699
      @ihaveaname699 4 роки тому +5

      And you'd be second best. :D

    • @davysmith1934
      @davysmith1934 4 роки тому +3

      You're a close second in my book buddy :)

    • @ink9426
      @ink9426 4 роки тому

      what about brian cranston

  • @Masomqwwq
    @Masomqwwq 5 років тому +4813

    "It's time for the number one book"
    Me: "it's the lusty a..."
    "It's NOT the lusty argonian maid"
    Got me

    • @yt_krg
      @yt_krg 5 років тому +3

      Timestamp...?

    • @Davesoft
      @Davesoft 5 років тому +55

      @@yt_krg ..no, you're a timestamp!

    • @Masomqwwq
      @Masomqwwq 5 років тому +12

      @@yt_krg 9:22

    • @michaelhoback5376
      @michaelhoback5376 5 років тому +2

      I was your 1k like 💪

    • @JacketCK
      @JacketCK 4 роки тому

      I cried

  • @kraztar
    @kraztar 5 років тому +2063

    i love how when he says "what gives you the right to decide whats good writing" he says he read all the skyrim books and not HE HAS A CREATIVE WRITING DEGREE!

    • @williamvalorious4403
      @williamvalorious4403 5 років тому +106

      With both he would have such a power to say what is good fiction

    • @larslowther1495
      @larslowther1495 5 років тому +20

      If you need a degree in creative writing...

    • @CuriousKey
      @CuriousKey 5 років тому +3

      @@larslowther1495 Exactly. How many of the great modern authors had degrees in creative writing? You know, the ones who grew up/went to college when creative writing degrees were already popular? I can't think of one.

    • @finchhawthorne1302
      @finchhawthorne1302 5 років тому

      qwerp poiuytre creative writing degrees don’t teach you how to decide what’s good.

    • @iamtheonewhotrulyasked
      @iamtheonewhotrulyasked 5 років тому +21

      @@finchhawthorne1302 Reading all 337 books does though, ya dingus.

  • @Fishystyxx
    @Fishystyxx 3 роки тому +1393

    He mentioned fast traveling by worm and I said out loud "Oh yeah that one!"

    • @polygon
      @polygon  3 роки тому +490

      oh worm

    • @Jamixiy
      @Jamixiy 2 роки тому +91

      Out of all the comments, mr. Polygon decided to give this comment the spotlight. Congrats!

    • @TheHdlichtner
      @TheHdlichtner Рік тому +4

      SHAI HULUD

  • @sicksalt7765
    @sicksalt7765 5 років тому +1300

    “Hey Todd???” The sign of a Polygon man in pain

  • @ricomarez7834
    @ricomarez7834 6 років тому +540

    Boy he is using those 3 cameras

    • @melissalayton213
      @melissalayton213 6 років тому +18

      Yes got a little too much at the end

    • @grizz4321
      @grizz4321 6 років тому +14

      Ya I had to look away because it just became too much...

  • @jaywalkin8205
    @jaywalkin8205 4 роки тому +4647

    The cameras be like : 🔼🔽⬅️➡️↙️↘️↪

    • @__-rs8kr
      @__-rs8kr 4 роки тому +24

      Cant unsee

    • @KnightroBlue22
      @KnightroBlue22 4 роки тому +39

      I don’t think it would have bothered me too much to begin with, but now this is really distracting lol

    • @kingkebo3960
      @kingkebo3960 4 роки тому +17

      They’re following his eyes

    • @Bluemilk92
      @Bluemilk92 4 роки тому +19

      No joke, I thought you were going to enter the Konami code.

    • @t.h.mcelroy6597
      @t.h.mcelroy6597 4 роки тому +2

      Damn

  • @mylahobbit1815
    @mylahobbit1815 3 роки тому +1054

    in case you need context for how big *316k words* is, the longest Harry Potter book (Order of the Phoenix) is 257k words. A Game Of Thrones (the 1st book in the series) is 298k. The entire 7 book series of the Chronicles of Narnia is 345k. The Lord of the Rings trilogy is 481k. War and Peace is 561k.
    It is longer than any single book in the Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, or Chronicles of Narnia series.
    it's a LOT
    avg adult reading speed (according to I Googled It Once And This Is What It Said) is 200-250 words per minute. Let's say Brian can read 250 wpm. 316,000 divided by 250 is 1,264 minutes, or *21 hours and 4 minutes* When he said "multiple 8-hour days" that means he read skyrim for *3 straight days* (3x8 is 24, let's say the excess ≈3 hours is lunch/bathroom breaks)
    I know this came out like 3 years ago but I am still in awe. I consider myself an avid reader but DUDE

    • @martin6613-j3y
      @martin6613-j3y 2 роки тому +13

      @E. Strnad yeah especially if you consider that this is well... kind of his job

    • @sylvy16
      @sylvy16 2 роки тому +13

      I mean i finished reading order of the phoenix in like two days, and i woke at like 6 pm on one of those days cause i was sick.

    • @joshwhite5730
      @joshwhite5730 2 роки тому +3

      You know lord of the rings is one book

    • @mylahobbit1815
      @mylahobbit1815 2 роки тому +7

      ​@@joshwhite5730 yeah while it is technically all one book it's most well-known today as a trilogy, so i just wanted to be clear

    • @danielclemann1715
      @danielclemann1715 2 роки тому +8

      Dude this is just my Tuesday I read 300k words like way to much

  • @gitadine
    @gitadine 6 років тому +1672

    Polygon did such a great job hiring Brian

    • @moxbagel
      @moxbagel 6 років тому +35

      Hard agree. I just wish we still had Week in Review or some other musical outlet for this good good boy.

    • @evanholt1752
      @evanholt1752 4 роки тому +2

      Have you seen his cover letter? How could they not!

  • @grimoire_of_light8209
    @grimoire_of_light8209 4 роки тому +1546

    3:29 at the end of all that the way he just says “R I V E T I N G” it kills me

    • @adamushu
      @adamushu 4 роки тому +22

      I quote it all the time now.

    • @molly6334
      @molly6334 4 роки тому +4

      same! it is so hilarious. i dunno why lmao

    • @Irish_Enderman
      @Irish_Enderman 4 роки тому +1

      Same

    • @Khazuldar
      @Khazuldar 4 роки тому +10

      3:58 for the “R I V E T I N G”

    • @leeblock9573
      @leeblock9573 3 роки тому +8

      I literally decided to rewatch this video just for the "R I V E T I N G" lmao

  • @l0v3l4c3
    @l0v3l4c3 4 роки тому +3728

    This video is basically Hermaeus Mora having a mental breakdown while speaking to the dragonborn about all the knowledge he has
    except Hermaeus Mora is less sexy than David Brian Gilbert

    • @guesswho2778
      @guesswho2778 4 роки тому +109

      hmm... tentacles...

    • @PauaP
      @PauaP 4 роки тому +89

      HAY! This comment section is kink shame free. If you wanna bang Hermaeus Mora (in tentacle form) go and follow your deams!

    • @ECSizemore
      @ECSizemore 4 роки тому +4

      Not to me

    • @aboredguywithaninternetcon4663
      @aboredguywithaninternetcon4663 4 роки тому +38

      He's actually secretly Hermaeus mora's new champion and got that title after doing this

    • @aboredguywithaninternetcon4663
      @aboredguywithaninternetcon4663 4 роки тому +29

      Also
      "DRAGONBORN!" "Aw, crap, he's mad at me." "I just read every single book in tamriel!" "I'm regretting becoming your champion." "HAVE YOU HEARD OF WAUGIN JARTH?!"

  • @michaeltraina7646
    @michaeltraina7646 Рік тому +140

    My favorite was this blind bandits book, and it having absolutely no text at all. Just a blank book. Made me actually laugh out loud

    • @CahtodeRay
      @CahtodeRay 11 місяців тому +6

      Ahh, I but didn't you notice the braile?

  • @ezraavaliani2773
    @ezraavaliani2773 3 роки тому +3582

    I dont care if I know the videos by heart, im going to watch the entire series again for the the 30th time.

    • @Fi___
      @Fi___ 3 роки тому +25

      Oh wow this got a heart

    • @thewatcher9237
      @thewatcher9237 3 роки тому +21

      @@Fi___ a heart for a heart.

    • @artnerd3727
      @artnerd3727 3 роки тому +4

      Haha exactky

    • @julialungan4722
      @julialungan4722 2 роки тому +1

      @@cable7763 hol' up, *anymore* ?

    • @impossible9092
      @impossible9092 2 роки тому

      i for sure thought i was the only one who did this

  • @Lucy-fn9rj
    @Lucy-fn9rj 4 роки тому +751

    waughin jarth looks like what would happen if you tried to describe a human purely from memory to an alien sketch artist

    • @mixiekins
      @mixiekins 4 роки тому +8

      My mind immediately went to the changelings in Star Trek DS9.

    • @Silverwind87
      @Silverwind87 4 роки тому +8

      So does his name.

  • @seanabeaty1364
    @seanabeaty1364 4 роки тому +766

    3:44 legit paragraph that says they were pals that hung out.its like when you need to make a 4 page essay and need a good grade but don't have a good source so you write a overly complicated run on sentences.

    • @joshboy64
      @joshboy64 4 роки тому +6

      I feel attacked... But it's true, especially when I get paid for essays.

    • @mdm_topplelock
      @mdm_topplelock 4 роки тому +7

      Mr. MAXXAM to quote K2SO: these are prisoners... I am here to imprison them... in prison

  • @josephdbeecher
    @josephdbeecher 2 роки тому +731

    Remember when Unraveled started, and Brian was just like, neurotic, instead of channeling eldritch madness?

  • @HellScribbles
    @HellScribbles 5 років тому +758

    You know, I've been playing Skyrim recently, it's my first playthrough, I came across one of the books Brian recommended completely by chance, it was just sitting on the floor in a dungeon, now I make sure to mouse over each book I come across just to see if I recognize the name. Hell I even picked up The Chronicles of Nchulef just to see how bad it was (it's bad), this video really made me appreciate the flavor text when normally I would skip over it, I've made it my own little out of game in game quest to find all 58 books Brian recommended, so thank you Brian, I have not jettisoned your gift.

    • @josegonzalez-sn5it
      @josegonzalez-sn5it 5 років тому +17

      A true men of culture. Good Reading for you.

    • @pigeon1178
      @pigeon1178 5 років тому +19

      It seems the 🎶 Skyrim Book Report 🎶 has served you well

  • @lunasmith9367
    @lunasmith9367 4 роки тому +2872

    The first Skyrim book I legitimately decided to read was Alduin is Real. I was immediately captured by the horrible lack of grammar.

  • @landfam4
    @landfam4 5 років тому +449

    My favorite line from begger has to be "during pregnancy, the queen had been more than twice as wide as she was tall, and the act of delivery took three months and six days after it had begun"

  • @cryptiddmashups
    @cryptiddmashups 3 роки тому +313

    3:29 is probably my favorite part of the video, the way he says *R I V E T I N G* will always crack me up

  • @anyaklum8757
    @anyaklum8757 4 роки тому +2917

    Brian gives off a very specific "let's do the fork in the garbage disposal" energy

    • @doctorwholover1012
      @doctorwholover1012 3 роки тому +109

      "I am going to throw myself into the sea"
      "OH MY GOD GUYS KIKI'S DEAD!! SHE YESS-ED TO DEATH! WE GOTTA YES HARD ENOUGH TO REVIVE HER!"

    • @Teague92
      @Teague92 3 роки тому +7

      I would give you a like but you're at 666 already

    • @onesadfrog
      @onesadfrog 3 роки тому +12

      why is this??? accurate??

    • @akiramakara2062
      @akiramakara2062 3 роки тому +3

      I hate how accurate that is

    • @zzzcocopepe
      @zzzcocopepe 3 роки тому +9

      Brian is the fork and the books are the garbage disposal

  • @TheRundownRabbit
    @TheRundownRabbit 6 років тому +2049

    My friends, The Lusty Argonian Maid is both academic AND instructional.

    • @red_boi9059
      @red_boi9059 6 років тому +119

      It taught me how to polish spears. But for sone reason I have yet to find spears on my travels.

    • @auspiciouspotato3515
      @auspiciouspotato3515 6 років тому +32

      serious li Use mods and you can download Spears and other “spears “.

    • @MrSneakySunday
      @MrSneakySunday 6 років тому +60

      Before you bake bread you must let it rise

    • @verified7950
      @verified7950 6 років тому +1

      I used to use the picture you used for the longest time. I called myself dady smuirf

    • @xStatiik
      @xStatiik 6 років тому

      2

  • @friendlyellipse
    @friendlyellipse 5 років тому +2617

    this man has now caused me to unironically say "rIVETING" in everyday conversation and i dont know whether to curse or thank him

    • @user-pp5oh9ee1k
      @user-pp5oh9ee1k 4 роки тому +7

      Ellie Peltz unironically?

    • @nephdrummond3168
      @nephdrummond3168 4 роки тому +61

      _ Correct, as in they aren’t doing it purposefully to reference him as a joke, but they do it without thinking, genuinely it’s become a real reaction they have. I’ve had it happen with a few comedians, it’s weird but fun

    • @user-pp5oh9ee1k
      @user-pp5oh9ee1k 4 роки тому +2

      Neph Drummond yeah, but the way that he used it was ironically, so if they just used it like he used it instead of as a reference to him using it it is still ironically.

    • @nephdrummond3168
      @nephdrummond3168 4 роки тому +3

      _ It may or may not technically correct, but that’s what they meant and how it’s used.

    • @2cheetahseatingapumpkin502
      @2cheetahseatingapumpkin502 4 роки тому +2

      _ He may have used it ironically but that doesn’t at all mean that OP uses it ironically. That’s not really how picking up other’s lingo works. You start to subconsciously use it, whether ironically or unironically, and then it just seeps into your natural dialogue.

  • @stocktonjoans
    @stocktonjoans 3 роки тому +94

    my favorite thing about the Lusty Argoinian maid is that it's basicly a neon sign that says "The owner of this book is DTF"

  • @iPyroNigma
    @iPyroNigma 6 років тому +813

    I demand the Lusty Argonian Maid dramatic reading.

  • @Godsgrampa38
    @Godsgrampa38 4 роки тому +4792

    Random Guy: "Oh, so you're a Skyrim fan? Name every book in it."
    Brian David Gilbert: "I'll do you one better."

    • @jvpro2076
      @jvpro2076 3 роки тому +63

      Ok so I have come to the conclusion that Brian is a simp for lizards since the lusty argonian maid is short and only has innuendos

    • @sheath420
      @sheath420 3 роки тому +6

      Ah, perfect, 337 likes

    • @VincentGonzalezVeg
      @VincentGonzalezVeg 3 роки тому +8

      @@jvpro2076 scalie

    • @jvpro2076
      @jvpro2076 3 роки тому +11

      @@VincentGonzalezVeg if this word is gonna mean the reptile version of furries then I don't wanna be credited in its creation

    • @the-anhpham3364
      @the-anhpham3364 3 роки тому +7

      @@jvpro2076 dont worry, it does mean that but, you werent the first its been like this since 2020

  • @Full_Throttle_Axolotl
    @Full_Throttle_Axolotl 4 роки тому +1593

    I want Hermaeus Mora's quest in TES 6 to just be reading every single book, front to back, with a huge test afterwards, and the only reward to be the title of "Keeper of the Picture"

    • @theleanbusinessman5431
      @theleanbusinessman5431 4 роки тому +13

      First Name Last Name Nope! Thumbs down 👎 That actually sounds like Rectal nugget crumb-age

    • @mitochondria6247
      @mitochondria6247 4 роки тому +101

      Imagine the Speed-runs for that quest

    • @MaskJackal100
      @MaskJackal100 4 роки тому +29

      @@theleanbusinessman5431 someone failed 3rd grade English. 😂

    • @theleanbusinessman5431
      @theleanbusinessman5431 4 роки тому +4

      @@MaskJackal100 Don't you get the joke?

    • @dani3881
      @dani3881 4 роки тому +12

      Calm down Satan

  • @PotatoPatatoVonSpudsworth
    @PotatoPatatoVonSpudsworth 3 роки тому +1223

    3:00
    This is why Tolkien never intended for the Silmarilian to be published. The dude recognized that 99% of people do not care about real or fictional history.

    • @sloppyphart7879
      @sloppyphart7879 3 роки тому +4

      That's the stupidest thing I've ever read. 99% of people don't care about real history? Dude, 99% of your family and friends don't care about you. History rules.

    • @PotatoPatatoVonSpudsworth
      @PotatoPatatoVonSpudsworth 3 роки тому +133

      @@sloppyphart7879 | Yeah, sure, we all find PARTS of history interesting, but that's because most of us only know the interesting parts. The vast majority of history absolutely does not rule. Most of it resembles what BDG described.

    • @Florescentia02
      @Florescentia02 2 роки тому +39

      Ive tried to read that book like 5 times and i cant get too far without zoning out and getting confused and bored

    • @kendalljennings3417
      @kendalljennings3417 2 роки тому +42

      ?? Personally I care a lot about those elves and their bad decisions.

    • @BassMaster.454
      @BassMaster.454 2 роки тому +26

      I like it because it's nice for people who do like it. Just like real life, you dont have to read them, unless you're in school

  • @monberg1000
    @monberg1000 4 роки тому +2410

    To everyone who wants to read the 58 books that
    Polygon rated "good fiction." (In alphabetical order.)
    16 Accords of Madness, v. VI-IX-XII
    A Dance in Fire, v1-v2-v3-v4-v5-v6-v7
    A Game at Dinner
    Advances in Lockpicking
    Aevar Stone-Singer
    Ahzirr Traajijazeri
    Argonian Account, Book 1-2-3-4
    Beggar
    Breathing Water
    Chance's Folly
    Feyfolken I-II-III
    Flight from the Thalmor
    Incident at Necrom
    King
    Kolb & the Dragon
    Love Poem
    Mannimarco, King of Worms
    Mystery of Talara v1-v2-v3-v4-v5
    Ode to the Tundrastriders
    Palla, Volume 1-2
    Purloined Shadows
    Response to Bero's Speech
    Sacred Witness
    Sithis
    Song of Hrormir
    The Armorer's Challenge
    The Black Arrow, v1-v2
    The Book of Fate
    The Dowry
    The Exodus
    The Marksmanship Lesson
    The Red Book of Riddles
    The Refugees
    The Windhelm Letters
    Thief
    Wabbajack
    Warrior
    Words and Philosophy
    Words of Clan Mother Ahnissi

    • @BurkinaFaso69
      @BurkinaFaso69 4 роки тому +86

      I oof'ed a little when I couldn't find Hallgerd's Tale and Immortal Blood

    • @rootintootinnewton
      @rootintootinnewton 4 роки тому +11

      Thank you, good sir.

    • @Daralima.
      @Daralima. 4 роки тому +13

      Where is the doors of oblivion QwQ

    • @monberg1000
      @monberg1000 4 роки тому +15

      @@rootintootinnewton You're welcome. :)
      I initially made this list for my own use. But then i thought, others might be glad if I shared it.

    • @Simon-ow6td
      @Simon-ow6td 4 роки тому +1

      Thanks fpr this! I was looking some generous soul to have done this the first time I watched the video. Now Im glad I checked the comments again on a re-watch :)

  • @ValueNetwork
    @ValueNetwork 4 роки тому +5961

    “History is so boring”: the guy who has spent hours overanalysing the history of the sonic the hedgehog production bible.

    • @graafitusberitus3670
      @graafitusberitus3670 4 роки тому +60

      Writing history thats litterally made up is less boring than reading history

    • @Brickedup4life
      @Brickedup4life 4 роки тому +42

      THE WHAT
      Edit: when I read this I imagined a version of the bible where the people are replaced by sonic characters

    • @kninenights
      @kninenights 4 роки тому +6

      Mr Random look up sonic bible Brian David Gilbert. It’s worth it. Trust me.

    • @Silverwind87
      @Silverwind87 4 роки тому +17

      That wasn't history, that was GOSPEL!

    • @ashley5515
      @ashley5515 4 роки тому +10

      Didn’t he also read the Geneva Convention

  • @samrust4366
    @samrust4366 6 років тому +1412

    Hey please let BDG do another video(s) of staged readings of all the poetry in skyrim

    • @funymonkee
      @funymonkee 6 років тому +62

      I would pay real earth money for this

    • @Keyonne88
      @Keyonne88 6 років тому +21

      He should do a reading of those 4 books be suggested.

    • @casir.7407
      @casir.7407 6 років тому +21

      video game theater: the long awaited sequel

    • @johncoleman1930
      @johncoleman1930 6 років тому +4

      I WANT THIS SO BAD!!!

    • @TheMinecraftJockey
      @TheMinecraftJockey 6 років тому +1

      Why not all the books in Oblivion?

  • @targetbuddy5
    @targetbuddy5 3 роки тому +224

    I would legitimately pay for a stage play version of The Lusty Argonian Maid with BDG as the lead actor.

  • @mtndewprettygud6416
    @mtndewprettygud6416 6 років тому +8950

    The video we never knew we needed

  • @JohnD27018
    @JohnD27018 6 років тому +827

    UA-cam recommended coming in pretty clutch at 1am

    • @thomasfolkerts6754
      @thomasfolkerts6754 6 років тому +2

      I was going to like your comment, but then saw it was at 420 likes and withheld it

    • @nate7594
      @nate7594 6 років тому +1

      Exactly the same for me

    • @Dvariak
      @Dvariak 6 років тому

      rip aniki PepeHands

  • @DCSunspot
    @DCSunspot 5 років тому +1415

    "No one has ever enjoyed writing or reading an academic paper" is a completely true sentence and I feel very strongly about it.

    • @Jesse__H
      @Jesse__H 5 років тому +30

      I have, but it's like 1 in 10 at best

    • @TheHortoman
      @TheHortoman 5 років тому +16

      The trick is cherrypickin so you only read academic papers you enjoy

    • @KnightMirkoYo
      @KnightMirkoYo 5 років тому +14

      I've actually enjoyed both writing and reading papers, but yeah, I had opportunities to choose topics that were interesting to me at the time

    • @comandantethorn9929
      @comandantethorn9929 5 років тому

      that quote comes from the guy who has spend a bit more than a year now with a series almost always reading way too much academic papers xd

    • @falconbanshee
      @falconbanshee 5 років тому +5

      literally busy procrastinating by having this video open while trying to write a journal article I really don't want to anymore

  • @Nijht
    @Nijht 2 роки тому +97

    Some very, *very* good ones he didn't put in his 'good fiction' category: The Rear Guard, The Wraith's Wedding Dowry, The Locked Room, and Withershins. Of his 'good fiction' category, several particularly good ones are The Armorer's Challenge, Chance's Folly, A Game at Dinner, and Breathing Water. Morrowind has even more, but I'm very glad that these at least made it all the way into Skyrim.

    • @testedTransgressor
      @testedTransgressor Рік тому +1

      Rear Guard was probably my favourite ngl

    • @plugshirt1762
      @plugshirt1762 10 місяців тому

      Wait he really didn't put Withershins in good fiction. I thought this guy's taste couldn't get worse lol

  • @_narrows
    @_narrows 6 років тому +4992

    I'm reading them all. _Just to jettison your gift._

    • @abdur1996
      @abdur1996 6 років тому +224

      I like how Polygon just hearted "Physical Mainfestaion of Cancer"

    • @liamthrelfall4642
      @liamthrelfall4642 6 років тому +8

      Do IT!

    • @neolexiousneolexian6079
      @neolexiousneolexian6079 6 років тому +103

      ...Cancer is generally a... physical thing.

    • @Chaos-Clips
      @Chaos-Clips 6 років тому +18

      What I like most about this comment is that I don't know if you're telling the truth or not

    • @AgainstThisWorld
      @AgainstThisWorld 6 років тому +4

      I will read because it will improve my english

  • @lizardgirl43
    @lizardgirl43 5 років тому +2580

    Doesn’t include The Lusty Argonian Maid because it’s 7 acts.
    The number one book is “four books actually”

    • @chlorbleicher
      @chlorbleicher 5 років тому +7

      True

    • @falloutdude2308
      @falloutdude2308 5 років тому +4

      bruh

    • @bambina_bren
      @bambina_bren 5 років тому +2

      I was waiting for someone to bring this up

    • @igedekrishnaadi4898
      @igedekrishnaadi4898 5 років тому +6

      If you have read the book, you should watch kobayashi dragon maid

    • @D0cSwiss
      @D0cSwiss 5 років тому +26

      You do not need 5 hours of smut acted in front of you, and reading it isn't as good either

  • @deathmetalanddoom
    @deathmetalanddoom 4 роки тому +511

    "How _dare_ you jettison my gift!" is definitely my new favourite phrase.

    • @ksporty15
      @ksporty15 4 роки тому +5

      LOL more like ILC...
      I literally chortled

    • @TheNerdyPunk
      @TheNerdyPunk 4 роки тому +1

      What does it mean? Or referencing?

    • @Silverwind87
      @Silverwind87 4 роки тому +1

      I bore this burden! For you!

  • @ob2kenobi388
    @ob2kenobi388 Рік тому +33

    NOTE: Something that Brian didn't mention was that _The Argonian Account_ is actually the sequel series to _A Dance In Fire,_ both of which feature Decumus Scotti. If you decide to read TAA, you should consider reading ADIF first (although ADIF is 7 books while TAA is only 4, and according to Brian TAA is better, so I'm not gonna break down your door if you decide to just read TAA straight away).

  • @Lolavs
    @Lolavs 5 років тому +4950

    I don't know who this strange well dressed nerd is, but I am in love with him.

    • @gamingbitchface6823
      @gamingbitchface6823 5 років тому +189

      I just came down here to the comments section to say, "so it's not just me, right? Everyone's in love with him?"

    • @Lolavs
      @Lolavs 5 років тому +52

      @@gamingbitchface6823 He's soooooo dreamy...

    • @Lolavs
      @Lolavs 5 років тому +34

      @Anthony White The tie.

    • @shahin1339
      @shahin1339 5 років тому +3

      if u think his dreamy then im angel from heaven ... :D :)) jk

    • @arminho21
      @arminho21 5 років тому +74

      @@shahin1339 wtf

  • @MandJTV
    @MandJTV 4 роки тому +9021

    I just read Palla because I wanted to know the twist and WHOO did it get me

  • @Melmyel
    @Melmyel 4 роки тому +5522

    "316,000 words"
    Fanfic readers: Oh, that's average

    • @ayeseejay2457
      @ayeseejay2457 4 роки тому +427

      Gotta get those numbers up, those are rookie numbers

    • @angelmarianna8863
      @angelmarianna8863 4 роки тому +37

      Same

    • @matieskiart5990
      @matieskiart5990 3 роки тому +265

      Me, casually reading a 2 million word fic: IVE BEEN ATTACKED

    • @Silverwind87
      @Silverwind87 3 роки тому +188

      Homestucks: You sweet summer child, you babe swaddled in the cashmere blanket of ignorance.

    • @thechangamire3495
      @thechangamire3495 3 роки тому +90

      @@Silverwind87 I've only heard legends and they scared me.

  • @majapaja_
    @majapaja_ Рік тому +86

    Thief was like the first book i found and omg let me tell you i was enthralled by the story, and excited to find the other three

  • @gummyguppy3785
    @gummyguppy3785 5 років тому +1440

    *walks into Starbucks with acoustic guitar* "Ooooooh there once was a hero named Ragnar the Red-"

    • @lordzeuscannon6400
      @lordzeuscannon6400 5 років тому +33

      this needs to happen

    • @Flowtail
      @Flowtail 5 років тому +6

      i wonder if, someday, i'll understand the joke here..
      probably not :)

    • @hel2727
      @hel2727 5 років тому +8

      I believe in you Gallag.

    • @conios9141
      @conios9141 5 років тому

      IKRR

    • @Flowtail
      @Flowtail 5 років тому +8

      @@hel2727 ua-cam.com/video/0dj7EVJ_mtA/v-deo.html
      i believe this song and its awkward presentation has, maybe ironically, become the "play wonderwall" of video game circles
      thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.
      **clap* *clap* *clap**

  • @memyselfandisaacmusic7819
    @memyselfandisaacmusic7819 6 років тому +1031

    You know, I am really so glad that Polygon picked up Brian. Like, I never really watched Polygon, but now that they've made content with Brian, I've been convinced to have a watch of some of their other stuff, and it's pretty good. Plus, I really love Brian's infectious humour and smile, it always just makes my day. Especially this and the LoZ timeline, some of my favourite informative funny gaming-related stuff.

    • @Barely_Here
      @Barely_Here 6 років тому +13

      Isaac Morris
      His humor has a tad bit of the three beautiful brothers in it.

    • @Jared-iq6ul
      @Jared-iq6ul 6 років тому +6

      You should definitely get into the monster factory videos because they're made by three gods called the McElroy brothers.

    • @SJDvalientes
      @SJDvalientes 6 років тому +7

      Brian David Gilbert is the Jon Bois of Polygon. He’s like, the best, most fun person on the channel, makes fun and informative long-form videos, and pulls people into seeing what the rest of the channel is like. He’s super great

    • @MrAllallalla
      @MrAllallalla 5 років тому

      I've realized afterwards I have seen two of bdg's own videos before without knowing his name. The ha ha what video and the iona street one. He's a comedic genius

    • @evgSyr
      @evgSyr 5 років тому +6

      @Boco Corwin We're all gay for Brian, we're all gay.

  • @bishop1412
    @bishop1412 5 років тому +415

    I love it when people talk directly to Todd. We know he's always watching.

  • @LiamShen-v2u
    @LiamShen-v2u Рік тому +37

    My personal favorite book in Skyrim is Racial Phylogeny, because, "... it is by no means clear whether the Argonians should be classified with dreugh, men, mer, or (in this author's opinion), certain tree-dwelling lizards in Black Marsh." I'm not quite sure why, but that line gets me every time.

    • @plugshirt1762
      @plugshirt1762 10 місяців тому +7

      its just so funny how casually racist like half the books in these games are to every race without exception

    • @Silverwind87
      @Silverwind87 8 місяців тому +2

      @@plugshirt1762 This a problem pervasive in the high fantasy genre.

    • @MistaOppritunity
      @MistaOppritunity 4 місяці тому +5

      @@Silverwind87 Why is it a problem? Racism is a thing that would 100% exist in that setting, and it should be there for the player to either have the chance to combat it(such as when you can persuade the argonian dock workers employer to pay them the same wages a nord receives) or ignore it or enable it.

    • @thanoschin962
      @thanoschin962 3 місяці тому

      @@Silverwind87the other dude who replied has a point, the intent was clearly there to make it racist, but not because they are racist but to be faithful to how the world would realistically develop with vastly different races/species (very unclear sometimes)

  • @diegolarrea7932
    @diegolarrea7932 4 роки тому +511

    It literally just hit me that all the skyrim books combined are longer than Ulysses and the first book of a song of ice and fire wtf bethesda

    • @nubreed13
      @nubreed13 3 роки тому +12

      Crazy part is even normal games can have 1000s of pages of dialog.

  • @M12GProductions
    @M12GProductions 6 років тому +2883

    If your erection lasts for more than 7 acts, consult your physician.

  • @sinom
    @sinom 5 років тому +2822

    316k words? That's the size of a good fanfic.

    • @absolutcabbagery3661
      @absolutcabbagery3661 5 років тому +150

      Good fiction

    • @cloudyar6726
      @cloudyar6726 5 років тому +176

      Goooood fiction

    • @bleachitwhite
      @bleachitwhite 5 років тому +73

      on this watch I was definitely like, hold on a sec, Embers by Vathara is 700,000+ words, 300,000 is sizable but it’s not wild

    • @thewolfofthestars1847
      @thewolfofthestars1847 5 років тому +46

      Everyone, reply with the biggest fanfic you've ever read! Mine is 789,589 words long (according to the AO3 word counter).

    • @SaitosaBard
      @SaitosaBard 5 років тому +41

      @@thewolfofthestars1847 Around 1.3 million words was probably the largest one I've read in its entirety.

  • @jellybelly8672
    @jellybelly8672 Рік тому +23

    The thing is that a lot of the literary analysis of historical, mythological, and even “eh” texts are important to the lore. “Alduin is Reel,” which was in your Eh section, shows the concept of mirrors, how different cultures *literally* shape gods, something confirmed by multiple other books like the Monomyth or even out of game lore like Shor, Son of Shor. Also the sermons of Vivec are a master class in metaphorical analysis.

  • @dylanswales9511
    @dylanswales9511 5 років тому +2375

    Necromantic romance? So like zom-rom-com

  • @HoaxFK
    @HoaxFK 6 років тому +1001

    Please, please PLEASEEEEE do a dramatic re-enactment of the plays!!!

    • @janndesu6746
      @janndesu6746 6 років тому +3

      Frederico K YESSSSSS

    • @ThePhantomBeaver
      @ThePhantomBeaver 5 років тому +18

      Polygon Presents: Skyrim Plays

    • @TheProphetChuck
      @TheProphetChuck 5 років тому +8

      Please please please do the dramatic re-enactment!!!!

    • @TheCheezeFactor
      @TheCheezeFactor 5 років тому +6

      We all want to. He shouldn't lie to himself

    • @HoaxFK
      @HoaxFK 5 років тому +4

      Make this comment get a bunch of likes... maybe we'll be lucky

  • @therealneal9980
    @therealneal9980 4 роки тому +2092

    “History is BOORRRINGGGG” As a history major, I feel that.

    • @MsKariYagami
      @MsKariYagami 4 роки тому +8

      Imagine Sheo's voice (aka Wes Johnson) saying that, friend.

    • @waynepurcell6058
      @waynepurcell6058 4 роки тому +59

      SOME history is boring. Migration and war history is never boring. History of the common bowl and spoon would be boring. Things like Norse history, the Mongols, or the Great Plague isn't. I can spend hours just reading about or listening to knowledgeable people talk about ancient weapons and armor and their history.

    • @Aplesedjr
      @Aplesedjr 4 роки тому +49

      Wayne Purcell some migration and war history is very boring. A lot of the wars that were started over the dumbest things and resulted in no gain whatsoever can get boring after the 100th time.

    • @michaelhenry3234
      @michaelhenry3234 4 роки тому +14

      @@Aplesedjr Sometimes I find the stupid and pointless history to be fun because the stupidity and pointlessness is amusing.

    • @Aplesedjr
      @Aplesedjr 4 роки тому +10

      Michael Henry there’s a level just above that though. The point where something was really pointless or stupid but not pointless or stupid enough to be amusing. It’s like the movies that are so bad they’re funny, but there’s also just bad movies.

  • @technotrapper
    @technotrapper Рік тому +500

    BDG: ITS OVER 312,000 WORDS!!
    *fan fic writers/ readers laughing maniacally in the distance *

  • @ryansaxby8625
    @ryansaxby8625 5 років тому +382

    The final section has the exact same energy as guards telling you to avoid certain crypts and, much like with the guards, I now find myself on a quest to do exactly what I was warned not to.

    • @wooby4104
      @wooby4104 5 років тому +22

      not gonna lie, everytime I'm told by an NPC in any game ever to not go somewhere or avoid something, I do the exact opposite and run gleefully towards my promised demise, all to satisfying my undying curiosity, and I have never once regretted it

    • @GobaGNon
      @GobaGNon 5 років тому +1

      Nat Not even when you end up in Blackreach?

    • @wooby4104
      @wooby4104 5 років тому +11

      @@GobaGNon oh no my friend, that's where the _real_ party is

    • @dankolaska4277
      @dankolaska4277 4 роки тому +11

      @@wooby4104 made that mistake with the quarry in fallout new Vegas, fresh into the game I decided to explore like I usually do with open world games and b-lined it for the quarry, some dude told me to watch for death claws, being my first fallout I had no idea what that meant, I was imagining some slow crab looking things, imagine my shock when a fucking demon out of hell was sprinting at me at lightspeed and oneshotting me.

  • @netowner666
    @netowner666 5 років тому +1070

    "There's no way you can maintain that kind of erotic tension for seven acts" *cries in 400k words slow-burn enemies-to-friends-to-lovers fanfic*

  • @kirissdubz3396
    @kirissdubz3396 6 років тому +570

    We want a full synopsis of every book. Make it happen.

  • @pickle2654
    @pickle2654 3 роки тому +29

    Took a break from reading an academic book on history to watch this, spat my drink all over the desk when he said 'nobody has ever enjoyed writing or reading an academic paper'

  • @fyermind
    @fyermind 5 років тому +411

    I don't know how I got here, or where I am going next, but this looked like a TED talk about books in skyrim, and I was not disappointed.

  • @daninmills
    @daninmills 6 років тому +356

    These silly Polygon videos are the reason I subscribed in the first place, I really miss these and hope they do more of them

    • @swans184
      @swans184 6 років тому +2

      Jordan I love the editing. It’s very Steve Brule-esque

    • @stevelarry3870
      @stevelarry3870 6 років тому +1

      Jordan I am honestly surprised they made something genuinely funny and interesting. Can I just subscribe to this guy?

    • @pwkotor47
      @pwkotor47 6 років тому

      he has his own youtube channel at brian david gilbert, and also two podcasts, one called let's make a music and also there's a polygon one called gill and gilbert (very, very good)

  • @jackthefrog80085
    @jackthefrog80085 6 років тому +1922

    I give two shits about a king who lost a war seven hundred years ago

  • @aboxinspace
    @aboxinspace 3 роки тому +22

    I will never forget the book about the thief girl who worked too slowly & her vampire-related revenge on her teacher. It was brilliant. I kind of forgot what I was doing in-game after the book ended honestly... The book about Sheogorath's background is pretty cool too

  • @leonalearns
    @leonalearns 4 роки тому +455

    The rewatchableness of this video is so strong. I've lost count of how many times I've seen this and I always come back later and rewatch it and catch different jokes he slides in each time. Is freaking gold.

    • @leonalearns
      @leonalearns 3 роки тому +13

      I'm back

    • @leonalearns
      @leonalearns 3 роки тому +9

      ...again.

    • @leonalearns
      @leonalearns 3 роки тому +10

      And everytime I watch it I want to read all of the books even more...I'm sorry BDG.

    • @mangaprofilepicture5820
      @mangaprofilepicture5820 3 роки тому +6

      Videos that can be rewatched tend to be the best kind there are

    • @Sadie-rai
      @Sadie-rai 2 роки тому +2

      This is so relatable

  • @marys.9367
    @marys.9367 3 роки тому +645

    I actually really liked the instructional book on Shadowmarks. It adds a nice little bit of flavour to the world when you can crouch down by a building and see the Thieves' Guild symbol for a house that's got loot in it, or a fence who'll buy your stolen stuff. I felt like I'd discovered a secret when I read that book the first time, it was great.

    • @brosef4154
      @brosef4154 2 роки тому +28

      I carry that one around in my backpack to this day

    • @HappyBeezerStudios
      @HappyBeezerStudios 2 роки тому +24

      @@brosef4154 I always have one about alchemy around, just in case I need to look up components without having an alchemy table at hand.

    • @Gumper30
      @Gumper30 Рік тому +11

      Fun fact: those are based on the "hobo signs" that poor traveling workers might* have used to signal potential dangers and opportunities to other passing hobos in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. while to anyone else, the signs would just be meaningless graffiti or etchings that weren't worth removing. The same idea is also used for the 'railsign' that The Railroad uses in Fallout 4.
      *theres a bit of a debate over whether a set of 'code' actually emerged, but hobos definitely used symbolic and pictographic graffiti to communicate messages

    • @twinkarsonist
      @twinkarsonist 8 місяців тому +1

      I’ve been playing Skyrim for over ten years and I’ve never read this book and did not know any of that. Please hold while I go find that book

  • @kylescholl5238
    @kylescholl5238 6 років тому +1261

    Odd boast but alas

  • @Dalton_Boardman2000
    @Dalton_Boardman2000 Рік тому +15

    Congrats on playing (a) Simon Petrikov in Adventure Time: Fionna & Cake.

  • @HenrikoMagnifico
    @HenrikoMagnifico 6 років тому +9154

    "history is boring"
    - video made for fans who are invested in a game's lore and history

    • @callmenorman631
      @callmenorman631 6 років тому +334

      Henriko Magnifico we are kinda boring.

    • @AnthonySmith-sc4zs
      @AnthonySmith-sc4zs 6 років тому +102

      I enjoyed the accounts of Mzelfenkelt or whatever. Seriously. Both him and Bzaltenzalft.
      Okay that was my lame attempt at being funny, But I literally enjoyed every historical book I came across, especially the ones about Dwemer lore because their civilization fascinated me.

    • @Shortymack420
      @Shortymack420 6 років тому +13

      @Mendes idk I like it all

    • @Hail2TheGun
      @Hail2TheGun 6 років тому +94

      I've had to pause this video after he said that to come and make this comment. He has the songs of Pelinal in his "boring" category, and I just have to wonder what fucking life he lives that the stories of a racist time travelling robot are fucking boring.

    • @Hail2TheGun
      @Hail2TheGun 6 років тому +76

      "I don't care about Barenziah, it's boring" DID YOU MISS THE BOOK WITH THE THORNED KHAJIT COCK? YOU THINK BARBED CAT MAN PENIS IS BORING?

  • @lumps17
    @lumps17 4 роки тому +359

    I feel like making a mod where Brian David Gilbert appears as an Npc outside of the cave in Helgen and just tells you to get these books for "300 gold-points".
    Then add quest markers to the nearest copies of the top 5 choices.

    • @citizeninsane8518
      @citizeninsane8518 4 роки тому +9

      Would've made it way easier for me to find them.

    • @blarg2429
      @blarg2429 4 роки тому +14

      Please actually do this. I'll pay you 300 gold-points.

    • @M-Cyn4269
      @M-Cyn4269 4 роки тому

      yes

    • @ziril3972
      @ziril3972 4 роки тому

      Aaah?

  • @UnwantedSteel
    @UnwantedSteel 4 роки тому +721

    Teacher- “make sure to read 15 books over break”
    me- “time to head to the college of winterhold”

    • @KatBaumgarten
      @KatBaumgarten 4 роки тому +20

      Me: i don't have time to read five scientific articles everyday, my teacher's expectations are way too high
      Also me: ah yes time to re-read and chronologically organize my entire elder scrolls library

    • @apizzagaming7489
      @apizzagaming7489 4 роки тому +1

      Its a good place to find books 😄📚

    • @IndependentOreo
      @IndependentOreo 4 роки тому

      Katrin Baumgarten right???

    • @nicole_hagedorn
      @nicole_hagedorn 4 роки тому +1

      Honestly, I have been reading books from oblivion for my Final project.. why not

    • @apizzagaming7489
      @apizzagaming7489 4 роки тому

      @@nicole_hagedorn There's books in Oblivion? 😮

  • @ashspectrum
    @ashspectrum Рік тому +15

    rewatching this video again and remembered that directly because of this video recomendation i read Beggar, Thief, Warrior, and King as my reading book in english last year. i copied the entire series into my phones notes app and really enjoyed reading it. i even took notes and wrote summaries during the last two minutes of our class reading time so that i could better remember and understand the story as i read it. it was such a different style from everything else i read that year and reminded me how much i enjoy reading and analyizing stories, aand encouraged me to actively find media that i enjoyed rather then just pick a random book from my shelf when i was told i need a reading book for my english class.