As a Dutch woman in an overpopulated country and doing everything on foot and by bike (when sitting in a car you don't see anyone to talk to) we see and interact with a lot of people in a day. When I come home in the evening I may have seen and spoken to 200 people that day. I love it when I come home in the evening to not see anyone for a while, to read a book on the couch and not to be disturbed. During the weekend it is wonderful to visit nature in peace with my dogs. And on Monday the work week starts all over again. The free time I have is sacred to me. I like to go out for dinner with friends or to museums but in moderation. It should be a treat and not a habit. And we are simply down-to-earth people, very different from those exaggerated Americans (very tiring at times ;-) )
I did grow up in the time that it was pretty much normal for people to just come walking in through the backdoor, and also very much with the belief that when you don't see someone regularly, but you happen to be in their area, you just drop by for 'coffee', which just means to have a bit of time to catch up with each other, and you then go on your way again.
smartphones have ended that era. Ever since we got the opportunity to txt i have been dodging hanging out aswell some times. Plus i dont have to go to someones house to see if he wants to hang out. Now we just app or video call. Sure, convenient but the days of just ringing a doorbell and your whole day just plans itself were very cool.
This is still the case at my parents place. In fact last time someone rang the bell at the front door my mother had to go outside via the backdoor because she didn't knew where the key was.
I work irregular hours. So I have to plan. And if I have planned something, I can tidy up my house a bit, get some nice snacks and drinks that I normally don't have. So, no spontaneous visits for me.
I have studied (urban) planning. In Holland we do not only plan time, but also space. And in those laws for city development is also everything defined in time.
people who plan everything usually have a busy job and they want to organize the free time they have as pleasant as possible for themselves. The fact that in the paste everybody could just walk in during the day for a visit and a cup of coffee was also because most women were at home at the time and did not have a job outside the door. That is different now, most women now work during the day so no one is home. (also a reason why there are more burglaries during the day than at night) Good planning gives you a kind of relaxedness
Been living in the states now for over 30 years. But growing up in the Netherlands I can unequivocally say that we had people coming over every day all the time. Coming over for coffee, beer, jenever and sharing of food. My dad passed a couple years ago and it was still happening at his house a couple years back. Yes a lot less than in the sixties and seventies but still people visiting all the time and yes through the back door. Now I am sure this is different in the big cities and randstad. But I remember this as a great time although there was a lot of social control that as a kid I not always liked. Too many people parenting and correcting me 😅
Dutch and plan hardly anything, one of my best hollidays was with some dude I met once befor, we were hanging out in a park, got to talking we were both a week off the following week, and had nothing to do. So I asked wanna go somewhere for a week? And we had a great time in Egypt. I love spontaneous stuff, a friend called me on the morning, are you free? Said yeah... So he asked.. Wanna take a drive to Paris for fun for a day? I didn't even have to think about it. Only thing if you decide to just drop by, just gime a call or an app like 10 min in advance..
Having a form of autism I love to have things planned. I have 3 priority activities that are planned on a weekly base and those are: 1. Work I work fulltime from monday through friday, so basically I'm not available for anything else on those days between about 7:15 AM when I'm going to work and about 5:45 PM when I have finished my dinner. 2. Drumline Rehearsals takes place on a Tuesday or Friday (depending on the week number) between 7:30 PM and 10:00 PM. 3. Marching band I'm also not available between 6:30 PM to 10:30 PM on Mondays because that's when I'm away for marching band rehearsal in a town 34 miles from my home. These three activities go before anything else except emergency circumstances and my own health. For more randomly planned activities in spare time my priorities are: 1. Drumline/Marching band performances and or extra rehearsals. 2. Me time (doing "nothing" in order to recharge myself) 3A. Hanging out with friends or family. 3B. When I don't feel like hanging out, I'm listening to music, singing, watching tv, Netflix or UA-cam or spending time on social media. 4. My other hobby: model trains
I think i'm semi spontaneous.. if you randomly show up at my door i won't even open it. but if you call me to go doing something this evening I usually say yes for sure (if i don't have to work the next morning). And especially going to a bar/pub, i always do that spontaneously and also usually i go on my own and i'll see who's there.
There's one big difference with now and when we grow up: when I was young we nearly all had a stay-at-home mother who was caring for us. Now all mothers are supposed to work(including single mothers). What means spontanious when you are a mom, a caregiver for your own sick parents? In your spare time you have to clean your house, buying groceries etc. and where is the time to relax and care for you? So, asking someone before if there is (mental) room for a visit is showing respect....
I really hate things that are spontaneous. Brrrrt........ I like to plan and organize well. No unexpected things. No unexpected visit. I like to be in charge of my own agenda :-)
I'm Dutch and I don't plan much. I do however like to know if someone will be vistiting me one or two days beforehand. Just, for example, to clean up the house properly. Because, if they think it's messy, they just say it to my face and I respect that. But I do the same to my friends. Honesty among friends is very important for me. And if you are honest and it's accepted by others, it's very easy to become spontanious yourself.
I do plan certain things waaaay ahead of time. I.e. I went to visit a friend of mine in Florida and the trip there and back was planned meticulously. I even researched the airports I was going through and to, so I wouldn't be overwhelmed or get lost. My carry-on suitcase was pretty much ready to go about three weeks before departure. I'm going to Florida again in June, but I've already made sure I know my way around Atlanta airport, so I'll have no problem getting from concourse F (international arrivals) to whatever concourse my connecting flight will be leaving from 🙂
When I was young I lived in a smale village . If someone was there and we were going to eat, my mother always said, just join us snd eat with us. Her motto was, if you can eat with ten people there is slways food for another.
To be honest, I also keep an agenda with appointments. But I can visit family and close friends spontaneously. And it is many times very busy here at my house with people who spontaneously come to visit. They know they are welcome. And if I really have to leave for something I say so.
I think it is a cultural difference between north and south. The south (provinces of Noord-Brabant and Limburg) have a more spontaneous culture and people are usually more extraverted. While the north 'above the rivers' are super tightly planned and introverted.
I grew up in a very small village, and we would use to back door all the time (if it was locked it was clear they wanted rest). When I moved to Groningen that changed and it was a lot less spontaneous. Then came Corona and there was nowhere to go. I got to now a lot of my neighbors much better. Now we just text: "who wants to come over now for coffee or whine?" Back to what I was used to and I love it.
Hahaha that making an appointnemt to meet friends 3 months from now unfortunately is so recognisable! I have all the time in the world since I'm disabled, but friends always are busy busy busy...
I try to PLAN time to be spontaneous in. Even MY life (and I don't even work) is pretty full of things I need or want to do, so every now and than I try to keep my schedule free of any appointments or tasks for a few hours and see what happens. Often though someone calls and asks me to have a drink or a talk and then that suddenly appears in my schedule on that time. I think that when someone says "so I'm not a priority in your life", they actually asking you to skip your appointment with someone else just so he/she can get your attention. I don't think that's fair. But then ... I'm Dutch and I don't know any better. 😉
It's not necessarily that we don't like unexpected visitors. Another reason for the planning is that the host wants to be prepared by having enough food or drinks for their guests. We want to know when we really need those things, because we don't want to keep things at home that we don't need (yet/anymore). It's not out of greed that we feel that way, on the contrary. We really want to share, but planning just makes it go more smoothly. I'm from the south of the Netherlands, which makes a difference in terms of subcultural habits, because people south of the Maas river seem to be more 'bourgondish', as we would call it. It's more similar to the way Flemish people act like (they are also considered to be 'bourgondish'), but it's not exactly the same, though. The rest of the Netherlands is quite different.
spontaneous where possible but also keep an eye on my work schedule as i work in a 5 shift cycli, meaning 2 early, 2 late and 2 nightshifts. when i get my weekend, the first day i use to rest and than 2 days where i can go out, and on the fourth day i go to bed early as i have to wake up next day before 5am. Very often i have to work when others are free so for that reason i have to plan a lot of things ahead. When i worked daytime it never really was a problem to drop by without letting know on forehand, but a call was preferred. And often i have enough groceries in house so someone can eat here too. If not enough, a supermarket is nearby.
I try to do both: Schedule people, often 2-4 weeks in advance, to make sure I keep seeing people that matter to me AND keep some of my schedule open for spontaneous interactions and activities. Those scheduled visits are actually the more important ones because I want to make sure I make time for them. The spontaneous visits: If I am busy or need my me-time I will tell you to bugger off in a polite way :P Come to think of it, I basically scheduled "spontaneous time" As well :D These are the moments I have time for unscheduled things :P
I had a neighbor who was from Brazil. One thing I didn't like about him (at first) is the fact that he would just walk into my house when ever he felt like it. But I got used it after a while. My dutch friends really shouldn't try to pull that move (Also it's very unlikely that they would)
I've always bin spontanious myself , our backdoor is always open and like my grandma alsways said "if there is food for two we will manage to feed a third aswell" ... friends and family know that. my dogs are friendly towards our loved once .. the once she don't know won't even think about trying to enter, but those are always welcome to ring the bell
Haha truth has been spoken in this video. I think you do have some differences between big cities and small towns/regions. However what you do get is people instead of dropping by unannounced, they call ahead: "Hi, I am in the neighbourhood (usually a city close by or some event close by) and I was thinking of coming over, are you free?" With this you are being spontaneuous, however you still respect the time of the other person, because receiving a "no" is a perfectly reasonable answer in this case as you are changing up their planning.
6:43 Breaking in. That's what's being spontaneous is for Dutch people. Doing stuff they like to do, even if it doesn't fit their schedule. How, they sacrifice some time to sleep doing so. Who needs sleep anyway?
It’s different in the south but keep in mind that if dutch households do accept people to just walk in via the yard, they will always have a presentable house. And he’s from the south where people are a little more friendly and relaxed
I'm Dutch and I think the Netherlands is very devited. In the west you can't be spontaneous, but in the east (more villages, less city's) you can be spontaneous. I like it when someone visit me on a random moment.
in the past almost everyone was poor and coffee was the only thing you could offer people and everyone was at peace with that and thought that was very hospitable in itself but nowadays one has to do even more than the other to show his hospitality but you can don't expect everyone to be served a 7-course dinner during an unexpected visit, from just a cup of coffee at one or a lavishly laid table at the other I think that's where the reluctance comes from, it leads to talk and we don't want that! !!
I am Dutch, 70 years old, I was born and raised in Rotterdam, it is true, in the past you could walk into anyone's house, there was always a string hanging from the door, if you pulled it the door would open, but now it has become so dangerous If you did that now, your house would be emptied or worse! There used to be more social contact, everyone looked out for each other, but that is now much less.
I myself am not a big planner. I usually forget birthdays But people kind off expect that from me because if nobody warns me i'll blindly pass by my own birthday. not that i don't know when my birthday is ... But usually if nobody warns me i'll be half way through my day before it registers it is that day. And i love dropping by without calling ... and when people come calling i always have a cup of coffee ready for them. Unless I actually have an appointment. But that than makes me feel shitty for not being able to host. I've had birthdays where it was going so well that at the end of the day I was like "ok guys you know where everything is ... turn off the lights when you leave ... i'm off to bed ... course i got to work tomorrow."
friends can come any time they want .. but when Im not home then though luck... people i do not know can make an appointment plus a little call like are you home only takes a minute and it also depends on which area in the Netherlands really in the small villages people are more open and spontaneous .
In my opinion it even varies from region to region. My region (the east) is a lot more laid back, and f.e. with meeting friends we don´t plan it weeks in advance. We just send a text or a call to see if people are busy and want to do something during the evening and people who are available turn up. When visiting friends I also just walk around the back, it is just common here still.
Aha, good news. If you have the time, come over to exploir our country. You probably dont need any hotel. Just let people know that you are coming. And you will have a place to sleep in dutch houses.
I think it's because we Dutch are always trying to please the other.. and we don't want people to come over to our home when maybe the fridge is empty.. we didn't have time to do any grocery shopping.. so what are you going to offer the people coming over to visit... You know we always want visits to be "gezellig" so we want so be able to put something out on the table to snack on.. and we want to have a variety of drinks available... I think that is the reason we don't like it that much if people come over uninvited.. Unless you are like ME and are always prepared.. and always have plenty of food and drinks in the home ;-)
I feel like this is a personal attack 😂 I'm stressing out because my best friend is coming over in 1.5 weeks, which we planned 3 months ago. In fact, my entire agenda is filled for the next 7 weeks 🤷🏻♂️
Fun fact, the old man in black with the glasses, is a historicus on the history of America, verry famous in the Netherlands. He even run for president in America (Maarten van Rossem for president) for fun. Maybe fun to react to that. In that tv show, he drives a camper van with his face and the American flag on it through america to gain votes.
I think in the smaller towns there is still a ‘everyone knows everyone’ type thing and people do just drop in unannounced and walk in through the back door. City folk aren’t like that anymore for sure. There’s definitely something to the planned spontaneity haha 😂
over the years people have changed by governmental rules.. now adays parents work for the same income as in the old days when mothers took care of the children and father has to work 6 days a week.. wich became a five days a week in the sixties.. so the time to meet friends became a second place thing.. for most people are to tiered after a days work having to deal with kids as well who need attention etc.. etc..
I think that there is a difference between friends and people you less know. My friends are always welcome but with other people I would like to make an appointment. It is that you want to welcome them properly. If somebody is in the friendzone: everything is possible. You want help, drinkes etc. That’s fine 😃
I personally hate all the scheduling, planning. I want to visit a friend or family when I got time. It happens a lot that I text people and ask to come over but most of the time I get a 'no'. I hate it, but i get pushed into this structure in the Netherlands. Sure I get it. People have other things planned besides their jobs, (dance lessons, sports- or music club, grocerie shopping... People have lots of hobbies here) Then they keep close contact with friends and Family, but it all has to happen in that short time between work and sleep. And about the 3.00 am on discord... There are also a lot of people who stay up late, like me 😉 even more late when I am free the next day.
Some people show up spontaneously at 5 pm and are still there at 2 am. If they would arrive for dinner and a couple of hours after dinner it would be very nice but eight or nine hours is quite a long time and may interfere with work that still has to be done or much needed sleep. That would be the reason for planning a visit instead of letting people show up unannounced. I'm dutch by the way 🙂
I had appointment wih friend of mine.. is mother has died four days before. He told " if you come at 17.00 I be there" I waited 15 minutes, he didn't show up, didn't trespond to text, so I went home. got better things to do then waiting..
What a generalizing exaggeration about 'the’ Dutch. It may be true that many Dutch approach their activities more systematically than is usual in other cultures, but in the Netherlands where I live as a Dutchman, life is not as rigidly planned as many in this video claim. There is indeed spontaneity, at least among the other Dutch people I know. It is correct what you observe at a certain point, HXC: The degree of spontaneity depends on who you are dealing with. For my wife and me, our children and grandchildren (almost) always come first, whatever our plans (if any). Some friends, too, can call on me day and night. Then I drop everything and am there for them, for which they also want to see me. Just for fun or because “there is something”. The Dutch also do this when people are in need. If someone, also complete strangers, gets into trouble in any way, they can count on immediate help and support from others, whatever they do and whatever their plans were. But if someone unexpectedly rings my doorbell, just because she/he likes a chat, do they really expect I’ll put all my plans aside? How dare they claim that , when I say it comes inconvenient, this means that they are not such a high priority? What presumption and self-overestimation! It's not me being rude when I say I have other pursuits and plans, but it's them thinking that I'll put that aside for a while. If someone wants to talk to me about something and it is not urgent, I prefer to make an appointment. If I know what it's about, I can prepare for it and be there for the other person better. I find that much more involved. If it is urgent, most Dutch people will change their agreed for that moment to help the one who appeals to them.
Yeah, I grew up in the time everyone just showed up at the back door. Front door was for mailman, jehova's at Sunday's and the people collecting money for the good "funds" like cancer research/burn victims/heart and vascular research. Now a day's people are more scheduled. Especially the more career oriented people. (Thanks America). I think it has to do with the old way: a stay at home person (mostly wife) that would create a homely base. A nice place to be. At all times during the day. Like a hostess for your home. And she was! It was a real job. Cooking cleaning raising kids properly, keeping them in check..❤ Our house was always, always full of kids. Every body in the neighborhood was welcome. Even the shifty one's. And somehow my mom made it work... go figure... Better yet, some of them liked it better then being at home... Damn I was lucky. Now I'm somewhat of an introvert myself. But I've harbored about 5 people the last 20 years. 3 of them I didn't know at all. But they just got stuck in their lives and just needed a roof... And a beer, and someone to just listen. So yeah, in between I really enjoy my me time. And sometimes I can be a little blunt. But the backdoor... It's always open.
Kinda funny cause compared to their ethnical Dutch neighbours, the flamish are Dutch more spontaneous verbal.. but Flamish are more spontaneous with thing's like meeting up or something. I live in flanders my "bomma" was half Dutch so I try to taste of both of the cultures but in Flanders I could go to a house and be like : hey , lets go to the city ! And he would be like : sure why not . 🤷♂️ But I like the verbal spontaneity of the Dutch , cause they are direct .. but I feel more comfortable with someone who is direct just because : 1 : I take less personal cause that person doesn't beat around the bush. If you said yeah that's good and that's good but.. that's something I HATE. Don't give the person a impression that he or she did a good job and destroy it the second after. Just say : hey , that's something you need to work on. And you'll be like : okay , what can I do to improve? 2: you know where you stand.
12:35 we also value OUR time... what makes you the one to drop in and make me drop everything out of my hands to suit your needs, because you dropped by? How rude!! So..when we make time for you, it is for you.. but expecting to come in un announced and expect a lyxury treatment, damn selfish of the one visiting, a-social and obnoctiously rude..
I rather have the feeling that only highly educated people have an agenda to make arrangements to visit someone. As a low-educated person, I have no problem with unannounced visitors, people with a low level of education are more spontaneous than those with a high level of education. Because of all that planning, most of them in the Netherlands are burnt out and stressed.
Funny, those * this is typpical Dutch. * channels , videos. I see that most is so true. 🇳🇱We eat at 18.00. ( not me ) so dont call, dont come by. 🇳🇱kids: can my friend stay for dinner . NO,, we have not enough . ( we cook exact for 2 or 5)your family) 🇳🇱 I do plan a head, bc dutch are planners. So if you want 6 people on 20.00 on a saturday, ,we need to see, dont dubble dates on the calendar.
Dutch man talking: in general the Dutch aren't very spontaneous. There is at least one village in the Netherlands which is an exception. That village is called Urk
7:56 yes, the man is right.. but the conveniantstores took all of that away, go there, fetch everything and move on.. bakers hardly diliver, people want mass prodction bread because it is cheaper, so baker won't come by... nice to put this up, but not relevant at all... USA had that too in the early parts of the 1900's... as we Dutch say.. we are Americanised, malls and conveniantstores and post order companies... it destroyed all.. yey kapitalism... on that behalf, I prefer communism..
Wanna come by my place?, gimme 10min. to tidy up & (or But) I hardly have any drinks at home... Wanna make plans for over 2 weeks with me??,, ask me next week, 2 weeks is too far in the future for me.. (i don't like to plan!!) I'm dutch.. but not the typical dutch.. I hate people with schedules/agenda,.. Trying to plan a dinner for a month now, and every time at least 1 person has something planned... My last msg was "Let's have dinner, first sunday in April".. No one yet replied,.. I think they have plans...
Its bs. If someone you really know needs help, you drop whatever you do and help. Only arriving unannounced at dinnertime is not done. If arriving without notice no is a possibiliy though.
That's just stuff from Holland mate. The rest of the Netherlands is way more hospitable as portrayed in this vid. 😅 And watching this vid further i really get aggrevated about how the Hollanders speak as if all Dutch are them. Gave the like but this stuff is big lie. Most Dutchies are not like this. It's stupid.
Not trying to offend. Not ALL Hollanders are bad. But i just don't agree with how the Netherlands in all these vids are portrayed. It's mostly not true and based on stories for the Randstad. But hey, there's alot more Netherlands beyond that.
As a Dutch woman in an overpopulated country and doing everything on foot and by bike (when sitting in a car you don't see anyone to talk to) we see and interact with a lot of people in a day.
When I come home in the evening I may have seen and spoken to 200 people that day.
I love it when I come home in the evening to not see anyone for a while, to read a book on the couch and not to be disturbed.
During the weekend it is wonderful to visit nature in peace with my dogs. And on Monday the work week starts all over again.
The free time I have is sacred to me.
I like to go out for dinner with friends or to museums but in moderation.
It should be a treat and not a habit.
And we are simply down-to-earth people, very different from those exaggerated Americans (very tiring at times ;-) )
I did grow up in the time that it was pretty much normal for people to just come walking in through the backdoor, and also very much with the belief that when you don't see someone regularly, but you happen to be in their area, you just drop by for 'coffee', which just means to have a bit of time to catch up with each other, and you then go on your way again.
These times are gone unfortunately
smartphones have ended that era.
Ever since we got the opportunity to txt i have been dodging hanging out aswell some times.
Plus i dont have to go to someones house to see if he wants to hang out. Now we just app or video call.
Sure, convenient but the days of just ringing a doorbell and your whole day just plans itself were very cool.
generation x killed it... security, no strangers talking .. nothing un expected, ...
This is still the case at my parents place. In fact last time someone rang the bell at the front door my mother had to go outside via the backdoor because she didn't knew where the key was.
I work irregular hours. So I have to plan. And if I have planned something, I can tidy up my house a bit, get some nice snacks and drinks that I normally don't have. So, no spontaneous visits for me.
I have studied (urban) planning. In Holland we do not only plan time, but also space. And in those laws for city development is also everything defined in time.
Hello from the Netherlands .
thanks for the video .
Sincerely, Hollandduck
people who plan everything usually have a busy job and they want to organize the free time they have as pleasant as possible for themselves. The fact that in the paste everybody could just walk in during the day for a visit and a cup of coffee was also because most women were at home at the time and did not have a job outside the door. That is different now, most women now work during the day so no one is home. (also a reason why there are more burglaries during the day than at night) Good planning gives you a kind of relaxedness
Been living in the states now for over 30 years. But growing up in the Netherlands I can unequivocally say that we had people coming over every day all the time. Coming over for coffee, beer, jenever and sharing of food. My dad passed a couple years ago and it was still happening at his house a couple years back. Yes a lot less than in the sixties and seventies but still people visiting all the time and yes through the back door. Now I am sure this is different in the big cities and randstad. But I remember this as a great time although there was a lot of social control that as a kid I not always liked. Too many people parenting and correcting me 😅
Precisely the thing I have trouble with. I'm not great at planning, but I have to, because it's expected of me.
Dutch and plan hardly anything, one of my best hollidays was with some dude I met once befor, we were hanging out in a park, got to talking we were both a week off the following week, and had nothing to do. So I asked wanna go somewhere for a week? And we had a great time in Egypt. I love spontaneous stuff, a friend called me on the morning, are you free? Said yeah... So he asked.. Wanna take a drive to Paris for fun for a day? I didn't even have to think about it.
Only thing if you decide to just drop by, just gime a call or an app like 10 min in advance..
Having a form of autism I love to have things planned.
I have 3 priority activities that are planned on a weekly base and those are:
1. Work
I work fulltime from monday through friday, so basically I'm not available for anything else on those days between about 7:15 AM when I'm going to work and about 5:45 PM when I have finished my dinner.
2. Drumline
Rehearsals takes place on a Tuesday or Friday (depending on the week number) between 7:30 PM and 10:00 PM.
3. Marching band
I'm also not available between 6:30 PM to 10:30 PM on Mondays because that's when I'm away for marching band rehearsal in a town 34 miles from my home.
These three activities go before anything else except emergency circumstances and my own health.
For more randomly planned activities in spare time my priorities are:
1. Drumline/Marching band performances and or extra rehearsals.
2. Me time (doing "nothing" in order to recharge myself)
3A. Hanging out with friends or family.
3B. When I don't feel like hanging out, I'm listening to music, singing, watching tv, Netflix or UA-cam or spending time on social media.
4. My other hobby: model trains
I think i'm semi spontaneous.. if you randomly show up at my door i won't even open it. but if you call me to go doing something this evening I usually say yes for sure (if i don't have to work the next morning). And especially going to a bar/pub, i always do that spontaneously and also usually i go on my own and i'll see who's there.
There's one big difference with now and when we grow up: when I was young we nearly all had a stay-at-home mother who was caring for us.
Now all mothers are supposed to work(including single mothers).
What means spontanious when you are a mom, a caregiver for your own sick parents? In your spare time you have to clean your house, buying groceries etc. and where is the time to relax and care for you?
So, asking someone before if there is (mental) room for a visit is showing respect....
I really hate things that are spontaneous. Brrrrt........ I like to plan and organize well. No unexpected things. No unexpected visit. I like to be in charge of my own agenda :-)
Haha…it is not always like this way……love the reactions….greatvideo
I'm Dutch and I don't plan much. I do however like to know if someone will be vistiting me one or two days beforehand. Just, for example, to clean up the house properly. Because, if they think it's messy, they just say it to my face and I respect that. But I do the same to my friends. Honesty among friends is very important for me. And if you are honest and it's accepted by others, it's very easy to become spontanious yourself.
I'm also Dutch, and I plan everything.
I do plan certain things waaaay ahead of time. I.e. I went to visit a friend of mine in Florida and the trip there and back was planned meticulously. I even researched the airports I was going through and to, so I wouldn't be overwhelmed or get lost. My carry-on suitcase was pretty much ready to go about three weeks before departure. I'm going to Florida again in June, but I've already made sure I know my way around Atlanta airport, so I'll have no problem getting from concourse F (international arrivals) to whatever concourse my connecting flight will be leaving from 🙂
When I was young I lived in a smale village . If someone was there and we were going to eat, my mother always said, just join us snd eat with us. Her motto was, if you can eat with ten people there is slways food for another.
To be honest, I also keep an agenda with appointments. But I can visit family and close friends spontaneously. And it is many times very busy here at my house with people who spontaneously come to visit. They know they are welcome. And if I really have to leave for something I say so.
I think it is a cultural difference between north and south. The south (provinces of Noord-Brabant and Limburg) have a more spontaneous culture and people are usually more extraverted. While the north 'above the rivers' are super tightly planned and introverted.
Yes, just leave some spaces in the calendar open on purpose and see what happens at those moments. But yes we are quite busy….
I am Dutch, love the video and recognize a lot :)
I grew up in a very small village, and we would use to back door all the time (if it was locked it was clear they wanted rest). When I moved to Groningen that changed and it was a lot less spontaneous. Then came Corona and there was nowhere to go. I got to now a lot of my neighbors much better. Now we just text: "who wants to come over now for coffee or whine?" Back to what I was used to and I love it.
Right, sure drop by unannounced but don't be surprised I won't open the door. Even when it is clear I'm at home and wide awake...
Hahaha that making an appointnemt to meet friends 3 months from now unfortunately is so recognisable!
I have all the time in the world since I'm disabled, but friends always are busy busy busy...
I try to PLAN time to be spontaneous in. Even MY life (and I don't even work) is pretty full of things I need or want to do, so every now and than I try to keep my schedule free of any appointments or tasks for a few hours and see what happens. Often though someone calls and asks me to have a drink or a talk and then that suddenly appears in my schedule on that time.
I think that when someone says "so I'm not a priority in your life", they actually asking you to skip your appointment with someone else just so he/she can get your attention. I don't think that's fair.
But then ... I'm Dutch and I don't know any better. 😉
I live in a small village in the netherlands, we all go around the back, and the “zoete inval” is the norm over here🤷🏼♀️
It's not necessarily that we don't like unexpected visitors. Another reason for the planning is that the host wants to be prepared by having enough food or drinks for their guests. We want to know when we really need those things, because we don't want to keep things at home that we don't need (yet/anymore). It's not out of greed that we feel that way, on the contrary. We really want to share, but planning just makes it go more smoothly.
I'm from the south of the Netherlands, which makes a difference in terms of subcultural habits, because people south of the Maas river seem to be more 'bourgondish', as we would call it. It's more similar to the way Flemish people act like (they are also considered to be 'bourgondish'), but it's not exactly the same, though. The rest of the Netherlands is quite different.
spontaneous where possible but also keep an eye on my work schedule as i work in a 5 shift cycli, meaning 2 early, 2 late and 2 nightshifts. when i get my weekend, the first day i use to rest and than 2 days where i can go out, and on the fourth day i go to bed early as i have to wake up next day before 5am. Very often i have to work when others are free so for that reason i have to plan a lot of things ahead. When i worked daytime it never really was a problem to drop by without letting know on forehand, but a call was preferred. And often i have enough groceries in house so someone can eat here too. If not enough, a supermarket is nearby.
Thank you, for this mirror. Overall we are very friendly... but don"t touch our private time!!!
I try to do both: Schedule people, often 2-4 weeks in advance, to make sure I keep seeing people that matter to me AND keep some of my schedule open for spontaneous interactions and activities. Those scheduled visits are actually the more important ones because I want to make sure I make time for them. The spontaneous visits: If I am busy or need my me-time I will tell you to bugger off in a polite way :P Come to think of it, I basically scheduled "spontaneous time" As well :D These are the moments I have time for unscheduled things :P
So very true 😂
I had a neighbor who was from Brazil.
One thing I didn't like about him (at first) is the fact that he would just walk into my house when ever he felt like it.
But I got used it after a while. My dutch friends really shouldn't try to pull that move (Also it's very unlikely that they would)
I've always bin spontanious myself , our backdoor is always open and like my grandma alsways said "if there is food for two we will manage to feed a third aswell" ... friends and family know that. my dogs are friendly towards our loved once .. the once she don't know won't even think about trying to enter, but those are always welcome to ring the bell
Haha truth has been spoken in this video. I think you do have some differences between big cities and small towns/regions.
However what you do get is people instead of dropping by unannounced, they call ahead: "Hi, I am in the neighbourhood (usually a city close by or some event close by) and I was thinking of coming over, are you free?" With this you are being spontaneuous, however you still respect the time of the other person, because receiving a "no" is a perfectly reasonable answer in this case as you are changing up their planning.
6:43 Breaking in. That's what's being spontaneous is for Dutch people. Doing stuff they like to do, even if it doesn't fit their schedule. How, they sacrifice some time to sleep doing so. Who needs sleep anyway?
It’s different in the south but keep in mind that if dutch households do accept people to just walk in via the yard, they will always have a presentable house. And he’s from the south where people are a little more friendly and relaxed
I'm Dutch and I think the Netherlands is very devited. In the west you can't be spontaneous, but in the east (more villages, less city's) you can be spontaneous. I like it when someone visit me on a random moment.
in the past almost everyone was poor and coffee was the only thing you could offer people and everyone was at peace with that and thought that was very hospitable in itself but nowadays one has to do even more than the other to show his hospitality but you can don't expect everyone to be served a 7-course dinner during an unexpected visit, from just a cup of coffee at one or a lavishly laid table at the other I think that's where the reluctance comes from, it leads to talk and we don't want that! !!
I am Dutch, 70 years old, I was born and raised in Rotterdam, it is true, in the past you could walk into anyone's house, there was always a string hanging from the door, if you pulled it the door would open, but now it has become so dangerous If you did that now, your house would be emptied or worse! There used to be more social contact, everyone looked out for each other, but that is now much less.
I myself am not a big planner. I usually forget birthdays But people kind off expect that from me because if nobody warns me i'll blindly pass by my own birthday. not that i don't know when my birthday is ... But usually if nobody warns me i'll be half way through my day before it registers it is that day. And i love dropping by without calling ... and when people come calling i always have a cup of coffee ready for them. Unless I actually have an appointment. But that than makes me feel shitty for not being able to host.
I've had birthdays where it was going so well that at the end of the day I was like "ok guys you know where everything is ... turn off the lights when you leave ... i'm off to bed ... course i got to work tomorrow."
friends can come any time they want .. but when Im not home then though luck... people i do not know can make an appointment plus a little call like are you home only takes a minute and it also depends on which area in the Netherlands really in the small villages people are more open and spontaneous .
Hence the coffeeshops 🤓
In my opinion it even varies from region to region. My region (the east) is a lot more laid back, and f.e. with meeting friends we don´t plan it weeks in advance. We just send a text or a call to see if people are busy and want to do something during the evening and people who are available turn up. When visiting friends I also just walk around the back, it is just common here still.
OMG this are strang Dutchies !
Great, I love your shows. How did you become so interestit in our country?
Hi Maria, Very easy to explain. I have a huge Dutch following and you guys always request Dutch things. It's that easy.
Aha, good news. If you have the time, come over to exploir our country.
You probably dont need any hotel. Just let people know that you are coming. And you will have a place to sleep in dutch houses.
I think it's because we Dutch are always trying to please the other.. and we don't want people to come over to our home when maybe the fridge is empty.. we didn't have time to do any grocery shopping.. so what are you going to offer the people coming over to visit... You know we always want visits to be "gezellig" so we want so be able to put something out on the table to snack on.. and we want to have a variety of drinks available... I think that is the reason we don't like it that much if people come over uninvited.. Unless you are like ME and are always prepared.. and always have plenty of food and drinks in the home ;-)
I feel like this is a personal attack 😂 I'm stressing out because my best friend is coming over in 1.5 weeks, which we planned 3 months ago. In fact, my entire agenda is filled for the next 7 weeks 🤷🏻♂️
I am Belgium and we are just the same like ore Nederlandse friends
Fun fact, the old man in black with the glasses, is a historicus on the history of America, verry famous in the Netherlands. He even run for president in America (Maarten van Rossem for president) for fun. Maybe fun to react to that. In that tv show, he drives a camper van with his face and the American flag on it through america to gain votes.
it's not in the blood. We have a sweet invasion, but also a Holland invasion. The ordinary Dutchman here has time and comes through the back door
In my region in Belgium, whe live more by the day, thanks to our many south European neighbors 😀
I think in the smaller towns there is still a ‘everyone knows everyone’ type thing and people do just drop in unannounced and walk in through the back door. City folk aren’t like that anymore for sure. There’s definitely something to the planned spontaneity haha 😂
Cities are just as much like that. Maybe even more so because you meet more people outside. It just depends on the person.
I hate it when people come over unannounced while my house is a shithole so please, planning is a +
over the years people have changed by governmental rules.. now adays parents work for the same income as in the old days when mothers took care of the children and father has to work 6 days a week.. wich became a five days a week in the sixties.. so the time to meet friends became a second place thing.. for most people are to tiered after a days work having to deal with kids as well who need attention etc.. etc..
not all treu, only a agenda when you need it, goining to a dokter/work
I think that there is a difference between friends and people you less know. My friends are always welcome but with other people I would like to make an appointment. It is that you want to welcome them properly. If somebody is in the friendzone: everything is possible. You want help, drinkes etc. That’s fine 😃
HXC you can link me when you come to NL but pleasee 3 weeks on advance & not during suppertime 😂 be at the spot at 11:15:30 💪🏼
I personally hate all the scheduling, planning. I want to visit a friend or family when I got time. It happens a lot that I text people and ask to come over but most of the time I get a 'no'.
I hate it, but i get pushed into this structure in the Netherlands.
Sure I get it. People have other things planned besides their jobs, (dance lessons, sports- or music club, grocerie shopping... People have lots of hobbies here)
Then they keep close contact with friends and Family, but it all has to happen in that short time between work and sleep.
And about the 3.00 am on discord... There are also a lot of people who stay up late, like me 😉 even more late when I am free the next day.
I hate it too, you see people like once in 6 months or once a year its bizar.
Some people show up spontaneously at 5 pm and are still there at 2 am. If they would arrive for dinner and a couple of hours after dinner it would be very nice but eight or nine hours is quite a long time and may interfere with work that still has to be done or much needed sleep. That would be the reason for planning a visit instead of letting people show up unannounced. I'm dutch by the way 🙂
Im dutch and it was de zoete inval with my grandma but after that it went different. We became more private
452years of Dutch DNA tell mer the door is always open . but thats me
I had appointment wih friend of mine.. is mother has died four days before. He told " if you come at 17.00 I be there" I waited 15 minutes, he didn't show up, didn't trespond to text, so I went home. got better things to do then waiting..
BART DE PAUW? 😂😂😂😂😂😂
What a generalizing exaggeration about 'the’ Dutch. It may be true that many Dutch approach their activities more systematically than is usual in other cultures, but in the Netherlands where I live as a Dutchman, life is not as rigidly planned as many in this video claim. There is indeed spontaneity, at least among the other Dutch people I know.
It is correct what you observe at a certain point, HXC: The degree of spontaneity depends on who you are dealing with. For my wife and me, our children and grandchildren (almost) always come first, whatever our plans (if any). Some friends, too, can call on me day and night. Then I drop everything and am there for them, for which they also want to see me. Just for fun or because “there is something”. The Dutch also do this when people are in need. If someone, also complete strangers, gets into trouble in any way, they can count on immediate help and support from others, whatever they do and whatever their plans were.
But if someone unexpectedly rings my doorbell, just because she/he likes a chat, do they really expect I’ll put all my plans aside? How dare they claim that , when I say it comes inconvenient, this means that they are not such a high priority? What presumption and self-overestimation! It's not me being rude when I say I have other pursuits and plans, but it's them thinking that I'll put that aside for a while.
If someone wants to talk to me about something and it is not urgent, I prefer to make an appointment. If I know what it's about, I can prepare for it and be there for the other person better. I find that much more involved. If it is urgent, most Dutch people will change their agreed for that moment to help the one who appeals to them.
Every young person goes out spontanious with friends, they never plan. Maybe old people
The dude with the long hair is from Belgium. = other country and a bit other culture....
Yeah, I grew up in the time everyone just showed up at the back door. Front door was for mailman, jehova's at Sunday's and the people collecting money for the good "funds" like cancer research/burn victims/heart and vascular research.
Now a day's people are more scheduled. Especially the more career oriented people. (Thanks America). I think it has to do with the old way: a stay at home person (mostly wife) that would create a homely base. A nice place to be. At all times during the day.
Like a hostess for your home. And she was! It was a real job. Cooking cleaning raising kids properly, keeping them in check..❤
Our house was always, always full of kids. Every body in the neighborhood was welcome. Even the shifty one's. And somehow my mom made it work... go figure...
Better yet, some of them liked it better then being at home...
Damn I was lucky.
Now I'm somewhat of an introvert myself.
But I've harbored about 5 people the last 20 years. 3 of them I didn't know at all. But they just got stuck in their lives and just needed a roof...
And a beer, and someone to just listen.
So yeah, in between I really enjoy my me time. And sometimes I can be a little blunt.
But the backdoor...
It's always open.
dutchies remember 1 thing: echte vrienden krijg je niet en kopen maakt de wereld klein, vrienden die verdien je door er elf 11 te zijn
Well, I actually also do not like it when people come over unannounced. And yes, it annoys me.
🙈oh damn….
Kinda funny cause compared to their ethnical Dutch neighbours, the flamish are Dutch more spontaneous verbal.. but Flamish are more spontaneous with thing's like meeting up or something. I live in flanders my "bomma" was half Dutch so I try to taste of both of the cultures but in Flanders I could go to a house and be like : hey , lets go to the city ! And he would be like : sure why not . 🤷♂️ But I like the verbal spontaneity of the Dutch , cause they are direct .. but I feel more comfortable with someone who is direct just because :
1 : I take less personal cause that person doesn't beat around the bush. If you said yeah that's good and that's good but.. that's something I HATE. Don't give the person a impression that he or she did a good job and destroy it the second after. Just say : hey , that's something you need to work on.
And you'll be like : okay , what can I do to improve?
2: you know where you stand.
12:35 we also value OUR time... what makes you the one to drop in and make me drop everything out of my hands to suit your needs, because you dropped by? How rude!! So..when we make time for you, it is for you.. but expecting to come in un announced and expect a lyxury treatment, damn selfish of the one visiting, a-social and obnoctiously rude..
its more how you have been raised.
I am dutch myself and I really disagree with most of this. dang
I dont even like my parents to come by spontanious. Im glad to live in another town so thay call in advance.
i say do everything with moderation even moderation.
I rather have the feeling that only highly educated people have an agenda to make arrangements to visit someone.
As a low-educated person, I have no problem with unannounced visitors, people with a low level of education are more spontaneous than those with a high level of education.
Because of all that planning, most of them in the Netherlands are burnt out and stressed.
Please react 'Lộn Xộn 2' by Đen Vâu and it has CC
Funny, those * this is typpical Dutch. * channels , videos.
I see that most is so true.
🇳🇱We eat at 18.00. ( not me ) so dont call, dont come by.
🇳🇱kids: can my friend stay for dinner . NO,, we have not enough .
( we cook exact for 2 or 5)your family)
🇳🇱 I do plan a head, bc dutch are planners. So if you want 6 people on 20.00 on a saturday, ,we need to see, dont dubble dates on the calendar.
And again same as ever. The differents at the north and the south netherland. I live in the south noord Brabant overthere is t normal.
Dutch man talking: in general the Dutch aren't very spontaneous. There is at least one village in the Netherlands which is an exception. That village is called Urk
7:56 yes, the man is right.. but the conveniantstores took all of that away, go there, fetch everything and move on.. bakers hardly diliver, people want mass prodction bread because it is cheaper, so baker won't come by... nice to put this up, but not relevant at all... USA had that too in the early parts of the 1900's... as we Dutch say.. we are Americanised, malls and conveniantstores and post order companies... it destroyed all.. yey kapitalism... on that behalf, I prefer communism..
Wanna come by my place?, gimme 10min. to tidy up & (or But) I hardly have any drinks at home... Wanna make plans for over 2 weeks with me??,, ask me next week, 2 weeks is too far in the future for me.. (i don't like to plan!!)
I'm dutch.. but not the typical dutch.. I hate people with schedules/agenda,.. Trying to plan a dinner for a month now, and every time at least 1 person has something planned... My last msg was "Let's have dinner, first sunday in April".. No one yet replied,.. I think they have plans...
Its bs. If someone you really know needs help, you drop whatever you do and help.
Only arriving unannounced at dinnertime is not done.
If arriving without notice no is a possibiliy though.
I joint the army fore 13 years I can not be like that if you call me I would make time
That's just stuff from Holland mate. The rest of the Netherlands is way more hospitable as portrayed in this vid. 😅
And watching this vid further i really get aggrevated about how the Hollanders speak as if all Dutch are them.
Gave the like but this stuff is big lie. Most Dutchies are not like this. It's stupid.
mmm this Hollander feels offended. Almost everyone is welcome in my house.
Not trying to offend. Not ALL Hollanders are bad. But i just don't agree with how the Netherlands in all these vids are portrayed. It's mostly not true and based on stories for the Randstad. But hey, there's alot more Netherlands beyond that.
If ur unanounced at the door, i'll give u a cup of coffee. Then you can go. Cuz why, i have to do nothing, or other things
Sorry but this is so wrong and not true