The Family Hero at Zero. Gaslit To Believe You're Normal
Вставка
- Опубліковано 20 вер 2024
- In this video, Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, discusses another form of gaslighting, in which the family members of a Self-Love Deficient (codependent) individual gaslight them to believe they are absent of problems in order for them to continue their caretaking role of the family.
ABOUT ROSS ROSENBERG
Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness, and celebrated author. He is also a global thought leader and clinical expert in codependency, trauma, pathological narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and addictions.
Ross's pioneering codependency contributions are responsible for the sweeping theoretical and practical updates and developing a treatment program that permanently resolves it.
Ross has been featured on national TV and radio and is a regular radio and podcast guest. In addition, he has traveled the world, giving his one-of-a-kind keynote presentations and educational workshops.
His global impact is best illustrated by his UA-cam channel with 23 million views and 255,000 subscribers and the sale of 155,000 Human Magnet Syndrome books published in 12 languages.
In 2013, Ross created The Self-Love Recovery Institute, a hub for his personal development, workshops, professional training, retreats, other programs, and services. Learn more at www.SelfLoveRecovery.com.
Facebook.com/TheCodependencyCure)
Instagram (@rossrosenberg_slri)
Twitter (@RossRosenberg1)
and now…TikTok! (@RossRosenberg1)
Mom was a widow. She told me that I was the reason she came home at night. When she didn't come home I was thinking what I had done.
My Mum and Dad would tell me how much they love me then in the next moment, tell me that I deserved the attack and smear campaign done by them.
Yep, so much inconsistency and so many contradictory behaviors, to say the least, to try to make sense of back in the day. I hear you! So glad we are waking up and beginning to really understand. Videos like this one absolutely provide even more clarity and appropriate validation. Keep growing! Don't stop!
Confusion.... name of the game. Secret ingredient to create all kinds of chaos in our young vulnerable identities that have yet to take form... it's like throwing cinnamon in chili... you'll still get chili but you'll get Cincinnati style chili which is uniquely distinguishable from chili's in all other regions of the us.... add some spaghetti to really stir it up and you get full blown personality disorders
Honestly narcs and bpd adults are not born with it they have the rest of the ingredients they would without it and then that extra trigger to really change the game.... in my opinion that is the confusion created by parents who are unable/unwilling to have one parent be sufficiently present for the child and all the self guilt , naive frustration of why the child is so "difficult" and projection that goes along with that challenging parenting style and it's wreaked havoc bc they do love their children ... it's just children require a lot of love and attention if we want them to be the most decent versions of themselves and have the confidence to succeed based on inner strength and not unhealthy needs to please or achiev
Its very traumatic to discover that you have been dealing with a narcissist/psychopath/sociopath. But when you know what you are up against, the brain has a frame of reference and can go to work in resolving the problem. God created us humans in such a way that we have very powerful means (our brains) of solving our problems provided we know what the problem(s) are. Thank you Ross for the delivery of your video and so may others that have help me in alot of ways.
God help us all to make this human experience a good one through our healing and assistance we get from each. other.
Amen ❤
I was told by my whole family I was immature and irresponsible. I'm.thr youngest of 3 girls. I am the only one that helped my parents business before I started school, my sister's never gave me options I was told" this is what you will do" and when I did what they did I was accused of being selfish when I had no choice but do what they say. I was told I was selfish for boundaries. Until 40 I thought I was selfish, I thought I was bad. I now know I'm kind, honest and hard working. They still do not acknowledge it. I don't speak to them anymore
I am the third youngest of 4 siblings and I no longer speak to them. I've lived 2,300 miles away for.decsdes and that did not stop them from hacking my phones or interfering with my life from abroad. Many say that the youngest siblings get the shaft!
@@Matt-602 yes, because the toxicity is like a waterfall. The youngest child has no one to flow that toxicity into, so we live with it in our bodies which is why we get illnesses
@@clararob9869 The irony of these so-called siblings from my experience--with them being a decade older--was how they used to SCREAM IT from the mountaintops how horrible our parents originally were all of a sudden into my 20s (I had already moved away from home by that point).
Only for me to be the one openly smear campaigned upon a decades later, AS IF I was the hater (even though I moved 2,300 miles away decades ago). I think I can buy into the theory of the "nowhere left for the toxicity to go but down." IT ALL STARTS FROM THE TOP (looking at you Mom and Dad), INDEED! In my humble opinion too
@@clararob9869 only another youngest scapegoat/caretaker would be able to describe this. Being the youngest is often assumed to get the love and being looked out for. But not in dysfunctional family. However the dysfunctional older siblings will leverage on that theory and hide their abuse while making you look unhinged and unstable in front of others.
In my experience it was neglect and bullying not only from parents but also the older siblings and there's no outlet. What i struggled most is expression. They used to practice the abusing tactics on me when my brain was not equipped to even know what they were talking about. Blaming, framing, bullying, aggressing, all kinds of mental and emotional abuse.
That was the hardest part when they could say everything they wanted and then justified themselves, while i came out of every manufactured scenario not knowing what happened, couldn't respond (speechless), disoriented, stressed, exhausted. I spent a few years not able to communicate with another human and still the bullying didn't stop. I was expected to be happy so that "nothing ever happened" after they got their fix by basically taking turn in destabilising me in order to feel some power in their sick dynamics with each other.
I was their rescue by either saving them or being bullied by them, either way they found a buffer using me. I was their "supply".
I still cry every now and then. They ruined my life by breaking every of my attempt to be happier and healthier, and still to this date, pretend "nothing ever happened".
And they seem to have had so much fun out of it. I wish when i had the chances i did not feel sorry for them but i was foolish enough to believe in their hoovering for decades. I wish i knew i was being abused. It's very hard to see beyond it when it's your entire life and you live on "hope", so you forgive and so you remain stuck.
It's horror.
I pray to god to give them their greener grass so i can be freed from these horrible people who still to this date never said a sorry to me, while used and drained me of my life to extend theirs so they could flourish as i wither. I wish i had someone who looked out for me, a real sibling, a real family, which I have never had.
@@Matt-602 That would be the BuLLy-Victim, "who is more screwed up than the Bully," who together, Blew the whole thing up!
No Family even exists, now. The Narc War probably continues. Blaming each other.
I don't know.
You are doing great work for people Ross! Many thanks
I can relate to people being gaslit to believe they are normal. I was told by my narcissistic mother that I am smart in one moment and dumb the next. She never believed that I am smart, just doesn't want me to know what she really thinks of me. At least until she reveals her true colors as everyone is an idiot to a narcissist except themselves.
Oh boy Yes.!
_"You are such a lovely slave, my child"_
Oh my god, thank you for this video, this woman’s story is my story too.
"Muted seduction!" Wow, That's deep and so brilliantly articulated! Thank you!
You're so welcome!
@@RossRosenberg Wow! How generous of you to respond.
This video is has been so eye-opening. Thank you! ❤️
Only the truth will set us free. Thank you so much Ross. Absolutely brilliant. It is never too late to be the person you should have been. God bless you❤
Looking into narcissistic personality disorder takes you deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole of life....😮!
@user-text_001 You wanted me to msg you ?
Thank you for this. I relate so much ❤ very unusual video. My family said the same type of kind things and that I was always happy but I remember feeling empty, sad and had no right to feel that way. I also ended up having ADHD, OCD and probably dyslexic but was told I did fine in school. I struggled. All my life I have probably had depression. Ty for this
I feel legit sick just hearing this story, how much this husband abused, lied and manipulated her, just like my ex who was a pathological socialpathic liar and a malignant monster narc in the same manner, these people are very dangerous and can ruin your life pretty quickly if you want to be free from them, it feels like a war veterinarian to escape and have a life away from these monsters, i wish i could meet this guy to help with my self esteem, the wounds are still healing and i have an issue with loving myself, i have bipolar personality disorder and loads of other mental health issues because of what i went through and my childhood too, I'm broken and always will be, trying to self love ❣️ myself would be a monumental task to even feel that when i feel nothing, i feel dead inside it's hard to feel anything when your environment since i was a child has left me feeling so dislocated from the world, its a sad lonely place to be 😢😢
This has just removed ANOTHER layer of the multitude of veil’s that were over my awareness for years and years
💔🥺❤️🩹🥹
This just opens scar wounds just hearing this 😢😢
Yep, I can relate. Sadly.
I often think about how this is similar to munchousen by proxy. Trying to convince you and the flying monkeys you are the problem when the people projecting actually have and cause the problems.
I think you have very well described an ENFJ or an ESFJ, both who lead and dominate with Fe. And a situation having been used and abused. Other personality types would not put up with that for long, they would leave or there would be so much conflict that everyone would leave and go their way
Yes describes me well. I was rigidly counterdependent with two distinct themes the black sheep on one hand. The good boy on the other but it was about services and triangulation/gasligjting
Amazing story
if you are not messed up to start with you will be by the time you're finished listening to you
I love the music at the beginning!!! Some have such irritating noise at the beginning that I have to turn it down.
what is the name of your outro song please? sounds so familiar
My mother’s alcoholism was normalised she is ruthless about drinking herself to death as we watch it damage me totally
❤
It's always the religious people who treat their kids in this way, just like i was and I'm sure a lot of people out there have been treated and manipulated the same way 😡
There is a difference between religious people and Saved people. To say it's always the religious people isn't true either.
That's black and white thinking. There are plenty of agnostics and atheists that pull the same crap. It's just the type you're especially vulnerable to.
This is way too confusing.
pathologizing people who are abused by saying they are self-love deficient is victim blaming and gaslighting to those who you say you are trying to help. JFC
Don’t believe everything you see on UA-cam!
His explanation of the Narcissist and the "co dependent " saved my life.
Take the best and leave the rest, as they say! :)
Agreed!😊
My story 🥲 HURTS.. and we grow up and we are in need of supply - assurance that we are good and we are helpful. If there's no one in need of help, we cripple and gaslight people into feeling helpless and weak - so that there's always someone who needs our help and we can rest assured that our help is needed.