It Doesn't Get Better - Ethanolic Dreams

Taken from 'Below' album.
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All instruments/vocals: Cezary Rochnowski
Lyrics:Give me back the peace I once have had
Rise from black that filled my inner land
Naive way out is tempting to be chosen
By corrupt man submissive to the poison
Bottoms up!
Cheers to you!
Intoxicate
My inert mind
Just lose control
Subject to my regime
Detach from sphere
Where others living in
Submerge your heart
In ethanolic dreams
And live apart
From world of monotony
You never thought
About your closest ones
While you were ought
To be father for us
You chose your fate
To be blissfully numb
It is too late
To seek for peace, you scum
God, you know, I tried to understand
Why he throw our love to lifeless wasteland
But I can't pretend that I have strength to
Bear this rant about his lack of virtue
Bottoms up!
Cheers to you!
Intoxicate
My inert mind
Just lose control
Subject to my regime
Detach from sphere
Where others living in
Submerge your heart
In ethanolic dreams
And live apart
From world of monotony
You never thought
About your closest ones
While you were ought
To be father for us
You chose your fate
To be blissfully numb
It is too late
To seek for peace, you scum
I just had enough
Of constant criticize
Please just leave me, let me drown in poison of my life
Refuse to speak up
About my corrupt heart
Solitude is best companion for man in constant doubt
Time is up
For us to cry
Just accept
It's end of line
No more awe
Room for doubts
Just live on
With gloom of stout
Father broken by ethanolic dreams
And son corrupted by the lack of him
Generation trauma is transmitted through the sins of elders
To be carried by the younglings that refuse to speak about their stigma
Stigma-fuckin'-tised
By your self-despise
Please explain me why you left me to be dehumanized
It was easy way out
To left me in the dark
But you ignored that your own demons was put into my mind
Time is up
For us to cry
Just accept
It's end of line
No more awe
Room for doubts
Just live on
With gloom of stout
Father broken by ethanolic dreams
And son corrupted by the lack of him
Generation trauma is transmitted through the sins of elders
To be carried by the younglings that refuse to speak about their stigma

[@itdoesntgetbetter8360]

Next week, next song. This time one of the most personal ones in my current discography - "Ethanolic Dreams".
Parents are an important part of life of a child. They can be role models, that influence who we will be, provide us with their support or will help to bring the best out of us. That is, of course, if they understand what does it mean to be a parent and big role in the life of their children.
My father didn't care. Alcohol was the only thing that really matter in his life.
An alcoholic parent can mean many different things for a child. Sometimes alcohol make someone brutal, sometimes indifferent, but it always has negative repercussions for the offspring. In my case, my father was essentially absent from my life. He didn't care about my accomplishments or struggles, he never made an extra step to connect with me, he preferred to drink and have fun with his colleagues. Family was far away on his priorities. He was never violent or anything like that. He simply didn't care about anyone but him. And liquor.
This stigma was the inspiration for this song. Presents the perspective of grown up men, that still feel confused and lost, as he was a child. And all of that, because he lacked the father figure when he grew up. I can tell you, this is deeply impactful for my current life. It's difficult for me to feel confident, I run away from problems instead of facing them and I have issues with finding the right partner, because I require much support, that most people just doesn't want to give. I never learned how to fix something in the home. I have trouble with self-discipline. All of that has its roots in decisions of my father, to focus on himself, instead of the family he started.
The song also presents how conflicted may be the mind of an adult child of an alcoholic. We often try to understand the weakness of our parents and looking for a way to reconnect with them. However, in many cases it is futile. You're starting to realize as you're growing up and start to live on your own. You're creating a distance, starts to look at it more critically. If the parent chose to fulfil his own cravings instead of getting back on track, your struggles to help him or bring him back to your life simply doesn't work. And even if a therapist of someone close shows you how destructive the attitude of that person is, you still may find yourself blaming... well, yourself. Although you know the facts and see that the parent doesn’t care.
This song was like an attempt to feel catharsis. To damn the men, that disrupted my psyche because of his ego and lack of will. But while writing lyrics, I couldn't help myself but try to, once again, understand my father. Get into his though process and show some empathy towards the disease that alcoholism is. Although I know it's futile. It doesn't change who he is and doesn't change the fact, that I grew without him. And now have to struggle to repair the damage done.
In terms of musical inspirations, many people claimed that song has many connections to Blot Thrower, mostly due to fact how the verses sounds like. However, my main source of inspiration was Hypocrisy - Peter Tägtgren (especially in recent records) often uses the theme of addiction and also was a huge musical inspiration for me in general. “Penetralia” and “Osculum Obscenum” were my entry to death metal as a genre, and the way Hypocrisy uses melodies and harmonies deeply influenced how I approach composing now. So, in terms of composition, you may call it a tribute to this band.

[@Nomad-du9rs]

Szanuję bardzo za dobór tematu. Niewiele ludzi w metalu podejmuje się tematu dorastania z pijącym rodzicem. Rozumiem jak najbardziej twoje zagubienie i ból. Mój ojciec też wrócił do nałogu ok. 3 lata temu i nie wyglądało to może tak u Ciebie, są to raczej sporadyczne powroty do picia, jednak to jest przerażające jak alkohol zmienia dobrego człowieka w paskudnego kłamcę i prześladowcę.

[@smiesznytraktorek9147]

dosłownie sen studenta