If you can please consider supporting a wonderful charity like Mermaids to offset the harmful content that creators like Bethany put out into the world! I've already made my initial donation and (if this video is monetised by UA-cam) I'll be donating a portion of the profits too :) mermaidsuk.org.uk/donate/ mermaidsuk.org.uk/ Check out my resource list here: docs.google.com/document/d/1uFXVB508q3iCgqX24RrGaHFiJh68hxED05qJD3P2noo/edit?usp=sharing
Did you notice at 12:15 that, instead of Bethany asking her audience to approach her speakers with an open mind, she rather asks them to approach her speakers “with open ears and an open heart?” To me, it’s interesting, because either these weirdos want you *listening* and *feeling* but absolutely not *thinking* - so where most of us would say “approach this with an open mind,” these people are instead subliminally programming their audience to devalue thinking and instead to “listen” and to “feel” - or else these weirdos are themselves so programmed against reason that the phrase “an open mind” is a plain anathema to them … to use your mind is to sinfully critically think, where instead you should be “praying for a discernment” or “trusting in God’s will” or “listening for guidance,” i.e. relying on unexamined assumptions, preconceived belief, and cultural bias - in other words, “your gut intuition” - to inform your decisions … or just asking your pastor/sheriff/mayor/boss, likely all the same person, what to do.
right it's so silly. i actually think having a baby in the room when talking about any of this course was kinda weird. (especally when one of the guest speakers SAed a baby.)
When Bethany was talking about wishing there was some kind of required class / consuelling for newly weds about sex... If only there was something like SEX ED?! But no, fundies like her are actively advocating banning it from schools.
really though. you want people to know things about sex before they start having it BUT you don't want sex ed!?!?!? it's really confusing...... and hypocritical.
I guess in theory, they are different things. Sex Ed is about the mechanics of sex, safe sex, and hopefully includes a discussion on consent. A course for long-term relationships should be more in-depth about nurturing intimacy in the long term? But yeah, i am completely on your side that everyone should have sex Ed so they know the basics when/if they have sex.
I'm a sexologist, and this whole thing reminds me of a funny anecdote. A couple of female colleagues of mine wrote a great book for cis men who have sex with women giving great direction and advice on how to be more confident and in general better at sex with women. One man wrote a lengthy review about how great and helpful the book was, and at the end called the two women "obvious San Francisco liberals" and how they wrote a great book despite being, and I quote, "slut-shaming feminist whores". I will never to my dying day forget this because it encapsulates so vividly the insane, backwards "logic" of right wingers who want the benefit and entitlement of sexual freedom and pleasure for themselves, while actively doing everything in their power to deny that freedom to others. This man derived great benefit from the labor of the feminists he hates so much, and at no point did it occur to him that in the world that he wants to create, this knowledge that saved his sex life wouldn't even exist. Honestly, there isn't a pretzel in the world that is twisted enough to depict this kind of convoluted logic. Oh, and accusing a woman of being a slut shamer while unironically calling her a whore... that's just the cherry on top.
I have a strong feeling that this guy knows nothing about the usage of those words and just knows that they're derogatory to women. The little sanity left in him after all the right-wing conditioning made him thank your colleagues for their great advice but the rest of the insanity reminded him that they're supposed to be the "lesser gender". Weird mindsets 🥴 Btw can you name the book they wrote?
This right here! 👆🏻 The right wing conservatives want the great sex bit without understanding the knowledge and expertise to help them have it comes from the liberals they hate, and that by trying to destroy sex ed, are actually shooting themselves in the foot 🙄 I'm a sexologist too.
Bethany is constantly like "We need to get past the notion that talking about sex is naughty or gross. But I'm not going to use any proper terminology because those words are naughty and gross."
no no see. you need to be a sex repulsed asexual untill you got married. but being raped is obviously your responsibility. because you still opened your legs or something. doesn't matter if you wanted something or not. but as soon as you get married you are supposed to have a high libido, only directed towards your husband. if it is not completely conditional on your marital status, you are broken.. somehow. because you are supposed tp somehow change as soon as you get married....
You know, I got a headache reading that comment so I completely understand what you mean. My headache continued reading the actually well explained response lol. I'm only 2 minutes into the video
@@dutchik5107 It might sound funny when applying it to Christians like this but lots of people think this way. I'm asexual and my non-religious allosexual partners have all thought if I loved them enough my sexuality would change and got very angry at me for betraying them by having the sexuality I disclosed I had. So apparently a lot of people think it's normal to go from asexual to individual sexual when true love (or godly marriage) unlocks it. Maybe it works for some folks (like demi or grey aces) but most people don't 'change sexuality' as much as it upsets entitled people.
@@qwandary I mean even like yeah I'm technically demi. Or maybe just a very sex positive ace. And I wouldn't want to wait till marriage. Sure hook ups with strangers sound really unappealing. But I wouldn't even want to wait more than a few months (note. Only dated people I already knew). Can think they ugly, but emotionally good. And thus like want sex despite physically attracted? Nah. Just like the dopamine and maybe the intimacy. But maybe I'm just weird with ace spectrum but being very sexual. I guess my sexuality is the ideal. If you get married after knowing eachother for a few months.... which is certainly not my ideal.
@@dutchik5107 I'd use the term 'sex favourable' if you're interested in sex sometimes. Sex positive is more than just wanting sex, it's a mindset that focuses on consent so sex positivity includes valuing sex repulsive asexuals, and stuff :) So I'm a sex-positive, sex-repulsed ace. :) Anyway yeah, having sex before marriage can provide some really useful information. Also I don't think it's weird that you're ace and very sexual at all :)
"Why are so many women awkward about sex?" Bethany asks, oblivious to the fact that her Christian culture of sexual oppression and repression is literally the answer staring her in the face This was a hard watch, oof. Thank you for taking one for the team and sharing this
This is one of those things that demonstrates just how little she knows about *anything* at all. She thinks *all* women are awkward about sex, because those are the women she knows. And the few women who are not, that she knows, come from inside her culture. So it's just some sort of accident -- perhaps even innate. She is oblivious to the fact that in "the world" women who were never badly indoctrinated are absolutely not awkward about sex, and are having an absolute blast with it.
What I took from it is that they see women as one monolith and men as one monollith as if they are no individuals just two personality types; male and female. One of the reasons why I left religion. I could start to be myself instead of trying to fit into the monolith and then see other people as individuals that I had to be open-minded about.
@glenn_desert_witch The women she reads about as well as she only reads Christian books. Many of us were indoctrinated against sex even if not religious or from a religious family because of the prevailing Christian culture coming from tradition and the Government and getting into schools and the mainstream media. I wasn't in the age group to read Judy Blume and Jacqueline Wilson books as a teenager as they hadn't been published then. So I made do with science fiction at that age instead. I read a few as an adult but by then it was too late.
right? There’s so much free information out there on the internet but they choose to shun sex ed, and then wonder why they know nothing about sex. Wonder why nothing is going right and why they are like deer in the headlights. Wonder why “nobody else is ever talking about this” like they didn’t contribute to the restriction of knowledge. I don’t want to shame people who didn’t have the privilege of proper sex ed and open-minded family and community members, but I can’t extend that same sympathy towards present activists of purity culture. You reap what you sow. I knew the basics and more by the time I was 14 and that knowledge has helped me then and since.
@@ik.5736yeah this spoke to me. Was I reading smut fanfics at 12 years old? Yes. Was i perhaps too young for much of what i read? Yep. Did i grow up with a much better understanding of sex, my body and what I like sexually? Also yes. The internet is kinda complicated in this way - if you are let free to roam it in unlimited ways from a young age, it can both be detrimental and positive.
But why are we surprised? Good Christian men with a wife and daughters legit think we can just choose not to menstruate. The lack of basic knowledge is not only appalling but sad.
Wow I’m shocked that the guest speaker who wrote a book about orgasms could not say the word penis without stumbling over it. I would be upset if I paid for this.
Definitely more educational too. As a teen I didn’t get any sex ed in school until 17 years old, and at home the discussion was completely non-existent; my only teacher was Wattpad. it actually did teach me a lot of what I needed to know. I doubt this course would’ve done a better job for my 14 y/o self
Thats why in my fanfiction I describe consent, other things that many people just may not know. It's so important for teens to see it and not cringe at the idea of asking your partner if they got tested recently!
right?? my GOD, the only thing that made me more uncomfortable than that was that sex therapist and her constant "yessss... mhmmmmm..... yeahhhhh.... riiiight..." accompanied by that "empathetic therapist look" except she did it in such an extremely over-the-top way that it felt condescending LOL
By the way she talks about sex, she probably thinks no one believes she's ever had it and needs a baby as a constant that she has had sex at least once.
Yea, as a married woman, I think I'll pass. Me and partner use this crazy thing called ✨ communication ✨. Its amazing how effective just talking to someone can be 😂
Everyone saying Bethany could have just had someone watch her kids, but I think she used her child as a shield to seem pure while talking about sex. She’s a disaster of a human being.
I'm not sure it's acceptable in her circle to have someone else take care of the children. A mother not being at home and with the kids to WORK? I think girl defined Made Videos talking about how evil that is
Re: Bethany not knowing how to teach-her only example is a pastor rambling on at church with all the authority and none of the education, standards, or accountability. So that’s how she “teaches” in her course.
I was literally thinking this too. It's kinda sad how isolated she was growing up, she doesn't even realize her way of "teaching" is actually just preaching.
that is EXACTLY how she does it, in all the little snippets of any Girl Defined video i've ever seen (i say snippets because i've only ever seen them in the context of other people making videos about them, god forbid i actually go to their channel and watch a full video and GIVE THEM A VIEW lmao) both her and her sister just ramble ON AND ON for minutes on end without saying ANYTHING of substance. it's all just unnecessary beating around the bush with paraphrasing, tangents, vague phrasing and endless sentences. they are SO boring and hard to listen to.
Bethany: Purity culture, amirite? She perpetuated it and now she's hired herself to solve this problem. Let's not give her any credit. She's trying to corner the market on both sides.
Reminds me of how the fairness cream industry markets their products in Asian countries - they keep perpetuating the idea that dark skin is the problem and sell their cream as the solution.
And the funny thing is that with both grifts she set herself up on her pedestal to judge others and tell everyone how to live, but at no point did she ever do either thing 'right' as per her own videos. Her whole platform is her taking the things she herself is insecure about and pretending she's really happy and successful so she can pass of that insecurity onto her audience. It's like those wellness youtubers I used to watch who all turned out to have EDs and just passed them onto their audience to try and make their insecurities go away. It doesn't hurt and at some point it's just obvious and sad.
Bruh, she's pretty much admitting that when she was "teaching" girls about relationships, love and girlhood, etc, she had NO IDEA WHAT SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT. And sees no problem with it. All while she's also doing it AGAIN.
"If you can't talk to your partner about sex then you shouldn't be having sex." Yes, Rachel. 100%. Communication and lots of it is key. I can't imagine having a miserable sex life for years. You can do the act but you can't talk about it? Grow up, Morgan.
The 'we didn't realize you need an emotional connection for sex' thing is bad enough but like... how did they get *married* if they didn't connect emotionally??
@@lassorootit’s even weirder because she has issues with being a horny little Christian woman. Iirc she’s mentioned how she needs to think of other things during sex because she enjoys it too much. How damaging was her upbringing that wanting your husband is seen as a problem.
I don’t think any of these side hugging fundies have the ability to form an emotional connection before their weddings. Aside from the fact their marriage is their first relationship, they’re actively kept apart. Not sure anyone would be able to build a connection with such surface level interactions and lack of understanding of what emotional connection in a relationship actually means or feels like 😢
Some of them don’t seem to be attracted to men in general. Plus purity culture teaches you to shut down your own wants and needs. They think sex will magically be this perfect experience everyone they know talked it up to be.
I think Bethany is having a hard time differentiating between teaching and telling somebody what to learn. She’s not writing the textbook, she’s just saying what should be in it.
I think Rachel hit the nail on the head when she said that Bethany has no idea what structured education even looks like, because she was homeschooled.
Weirdly the thing that makes me the most mad about this criminally expensive, pedagogically nonsensical, and laughably hollow 'sex course' is the fact that she didn't schedule the recording of these videos during a time when her children aren't loudly verbalizing in the background. Dav couldn't have taken them to the park for a few hours? Or dropped them off at a trusted family or friend's house? Paid a babysitter? Or simply waited until they were down for the night? How on Earth does she not care enough to edit some clean audio for the people spending their hard-earned money to hear what she has to say? What an insult to the people she claims to want to help.
i actually think its on purpose. its a key point of pride for her that she is a mother, and making a show of having family stuff going on all the time feels on brand.
fun fact about the "socks for better sex" theory - researchers were studying female orgasm and were having women orgasm in a cold and sterile lab environment... The study participants asked if they could wear socks to keep their feet warm and the ability to orgasm increased while time to orgasm decreased. So, while it's true that socks can help, the reality is that COMFORT can create better orgasms (not just socks!). I learned this in the book Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski!
“I was raised in a wonderful Christian home” knowing DAMN WELL THAT HER MOTHER HEIDI BAIRD LITERALLY DISMISSED AND COVERED UP THAT HER OLDEST SON MICHAEL WAS BEINGED SAed BY A NEIGHBOR!!! These women are evil.
Honestly, I experienced someone who helped give informational lessons about different sexual preferences or sexual identities to 13-14 year olds who also didn't use the word penis, but a different word for it that you use almost only when talking about the male reproductive organ to pre-schoolers.... I decided to mention that to the person in question once after one of those lessons because to me it came over as if we were trying to belittle those students or treat them like much younger children.
that "ultimate sex course for christian woman" typo, plus the fact that it seems like she's making the course as an excuse to ask all these 'experts' questions, is hilarious to me. it's bethany. bethany is the singular Christian Woman that the course is for. 😭
Ugh I came here to make this comment. Watching Bethany make a little sad face and nod and go "mmm" makes me want to scream. Actually every time she says "mmm" in any context drives me crazy.
Dude the masculine feminine spectrum section was wild. If you hold that belief, how can you say that there are only two genders? Bethany is so close to deconstruction, but just not putting 2 and 2 together yet.
I think it fully demonstrates her complete lack of critical thinking skills. She decides to listen to a source and from that moment forward doesn't bother to question or think about a single thing that source says.
I think Bethany totally misunderstood what that guest was saying. She seemed to think she meant that men and women have different sex styles and that couples need to decide if they're going to have masculine (rough, emotionless sex) or feminine (emotional lovemaking) sex before starting the session. She truly seems to believe only women want sex to be emotional and that women will only have orgasms if it is a "feminine" session. I don't think she thinks she is ever masculine at all.
honestly i think she's just kinda stupid. as rachel said, it's either that she's improving, or that she can't dare to have an original thought so she sits there and agrees with anything someone says without really understanding.
Just a reminder that research suggests at least 1% of the population is asexual or identifies somewhere on the spectrum of asexuality. When you are asexual bit are constantly told that EVERYONE experiences sexual attraction and there is something wrong woth you if you dont, you can end up pressured to do things you dont actually want. Thank you rachel for bringing this up, because asexuality is commonly overlooked or purposefully ignored
Just had a side thread debate somewhere else where it was mansplained to be that even if I have a low sex drive I can't possibly be happy being a single, childless woman,....
100% this! I think having those messages constantly communicated to you also makes it that much harder to discover, let alone navigate your sexuality if you're on the ace spectrum. I remember being so confused when some switch didn't flip when I fell in love and got married, and that's an incredibly difficult position for both parties to be in when you haven't been taught that it's even a *possibility.*
As someone who is also aromantic I don’t wanna tell anyone because I know what I’ll hear. If I say “I’m not attracted to anyone.” I’ll get some variation of “Oh you’ll find someone.” No, I mean I do not feel attraction towards *anyone.*
Just wanted to note that Bethy is totally ok criticizing Catholicism because, as an Evangelical fundie, Bethy doesn’t consider Catholics “real” Christians. I was raised similarly to Bethy and can vouch for this as a common belief in that fundie world.
@@Passions5555im not religious but my evangelical friend would get blanked by the catholic organisers of a youth group at my uni. Bit disgusting really when the majority of the rest of us openly didnt even believe and theyd speak to us.
Yeah, I was raised Catholic, and when I was 9 my family moved to a place inhabited almost entirely by evangelical fundamentalists. Let me tell you, fully grown fundie adults have absolutely no issue with telling a 9 year old that they’re going to Hell because they’re Catholic. Everyone from my peers at school to my elderly neighbors had this weird glee about my inevitable demise and eternal suffering. It’s really weird to say that I’ve suffered religious persecution when I’m Catholic, because on a global level Catholicism is huge and powerful and all, but that was my experience from 9 until I was done with college. At least it gave me a thick enough skin that by time I was in middle school and they decided to add in bullying my queerness in addition to my religion, I was too used to it to be too broken up about it.
Same though mine is Baptist, thoguht I have been to other churches like Evangelist and Methodist. It's really strange to me that they diss on the other Christian groups as "fake" or not "Christian Enough".
If it weren’t so sad, it would be funny that this sad lady made this rudimentary “course” to tell us what the rest of us have known since 15. She thinks she’s really doing something here: “Guys, you’ll never guess what I’ve learned about sex!” No, ugh, we know, Bethany. We know.
Sadly I think she is writing it for all the women who grew up like her, either home schooled with no sex education or in a state where sex education is still abstinence based.
@@briceidycierramarrujosmith4563 Yeah, that's the point. She was denied this by her upbringing, and rather than confronting the failings of her beliefs she asks, "how did this happen", refusing to admit she's enforced it herself. She could grow and mature by admitting that her one-size-fits-all approach is harmful, but she will not allow the two sides to touch. She puts her "new" knowledge into its own compartment where it can't affect anything else she believes.
As a Jew who received a religious education and knows Hebrew, hearing Bethany use the word yada (or ידע in Hebrew) the way she does is laughable. The word means “know” as in “to know”. That’s it. It’s used as a metaphor in genesis to mean sex but that is all. Its used like that one time. It’s not that deep Just to be clear: yada doesn’t mean fuck. In genesis it says that Adam and Eve got to know each other. In that context it’s used to mean that Adam and Eve got to know each other on a deeper and more physical and sexual level. Which implies that they’ve had sex but the word yada which means “know” doesn’t inherently mean sex it’s just the context it’s used in that one time that gives the overall verse that meaning
@@AshSmith_Hades only that one time yeah. Idk why Bethany makes it sound like it’s always used as a stand in for the word sex. From my understanding the one time it was used to mean sex was more of a “and Adam and Eve got to know each other on a more physical and sexual level” but I digress. The idea that she thinks that verses that have to do with God “knowing” you should be interpreted as relating to sex is mildly concerning…
Session 5: “Spicy Bedroom” to them means “sex both partners desire & enjoy.” THAT is the goal they’re desperately clawing towards inch by inch. Kinks & toys are light-years away
Something I didn't catch before thanks to the other ick was the 'therapist' husband joking that "I'd learned quite a bit about sex from my fellow 3rd graders" -- so these folks know that elementary school kids talk about it enough (badly) that they're comfortable turning it into a punchline, but _also_ constantly claim that such kids are too young for even basic sex ed covering things like consent
@@cv6442 A very good way I saw someone explain it in a video was John Oliver saying: "It is so weird being so uptight about a subject in school that you LITERALLY HAVE TO ACTUALLY DEAL WITH FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE." For having had good sexual education (living in the Netherlands) I honestly didn't look at it this way ever, but that made a lot of sense.
Her daughter being in the room and her "crying once" followed by an eye roll gives me "blanket training vibes" babies cry that is how they communicate with you
I dont know enough of that babies, babies cry fr all kinds of reason as they cant talk. But i am worried too i guess, poor kid. Her knowlede of biology or rather ignorance doesnt help.
@@theburgersystem126yeah, sure, sexism is the reason, not the cost of a SINGLE pill (in my country more than $100) that no woman would pay just so she can have no period pain for 4 hours. And there are multiple risks associated with it, that is why you need a doctors prescription for it. There are better drugs for period pain already out there and that is the reason it got no funding.
I honestly feel bad for Beth in a way. The one part where she describes how she had never had an orgasm after over a YEAR being married to her husband, and then later how she described being hurt and feeling like "raw meat" as her husband tore up her insides is just depressing. Get yourself a better man, christ. And then the part where her own guest that she brought on tries to convince her that she *has* had an orgasm before because it's "mysterious" and "on the inside" and "[not] loud and noisy" is just like.. gross. Really quite appalling that she is trying to sell this ""course"" for such a huge amount of money though.
I like listening to sex and dating advice, so this scenario is so familiar, and unfortunate, so I do feel bad for her despite all this other nonsense she spouts. Also as a result of listening to sex and dating advice it occurred to me - would anyone in this course think to suggest a vibrator? It's a simplistic "solution" but I've heard so many vulva owners having success with vibes vs. just penetration! You can use them alone, you can have your partner use them with you, they're easy to find in many shapes and sizes, etc. Is that just too lewd for Bethy or her advisors to recommend?
@@KireiC I feel like they would focus way too much on the masturbation side of vibes to recommend them. I think a lot of Christians are like only okay with missionary sex and nothing else. It's really quite sad 'cause like you said, it probably would help a whole lot!
I just realized this isn’t a “course” at all; it’s a SYLLABUS: a big list of what you will need to learn, complete with required reading ($old $eparately). Prof. Bethy’s part is done ✅
Was it really $169?? We got Bethany the sex goddess over here, and then we have her sister creating "break free from the sexual sin of masturbation!" PDFs.
@@vhbesstapeAnd unfortunately, those people are very community driven (even if it's only THEIR community they care about) which means things like this get recommended around churches.
ok but consider maybe kristen is creating confused sexually repressed christian women with her anti-masturbation pdfs, and then sending them straight to bethany, both rake in the profits ? now thats a conspiracy i can get behind
**TRIGGER WARNING** I felt like this was necessary to add to your brief questions about "pointing the toes". I come from a family that is deeply rooted in Christianity and purity culture. I thought it was my obligation to provide my (now ex-)husband with sex and pointing my toes was one of the ways I got through it. I don't have any understanding as to how it might help or benefit the sexual experience. It never provided any kind of positive physical response for me. Pointing my toes was the distraction I used during the intercourse that I did not consent or felt pressured into performing. I don't think that this is what the "expert" is eluding too because I thought this was a very personal thing, that other people didn't do. But I just thought I should say something because it did make me deeply uncomfortable to hear her mention that...
I haven't gotten to that point in this video, but if it's what I'm thinking about, then it's a piece of advice that would be good in any other context. Intentionally "starting" things your body does during orgasm can help you "get there" but you have to be in a safe, comfortable environment. The relationships GD promotes are not that. I am so sorry that you had to go through that.
I’m not at that point either but I agree it’s strange, I tend to point my toes whenever I’m in pain or discomfort. For me it kind of seems like a way to tense up without physically showing it in your upper body so I have no idea how it would be a positive move in good sex.
Rachel, if you’re struggling so badly with your periods.. please look into endometriosis, it’s so common but so misunderstood. Doctors are incredibly gaslighty and don’t care about women’s pain but this is a real disease and one of the most painful conditions. X
@@JENNIFAFAA hormonal birth control helps in some cases. Laparoscopic surgery is another option but there is a chance it can grow back. No known cure unfortunately. A hormonal IUD was very helpful for me personally
Maybe I'm biased because I don't like Bethany in general, but the fact that she chose to breastfeed while talking to someone who struggled with infertility while they talked about that specific topic???? Holy shit. I mean I can't stand Morgan but even I wouldn't even consider doing something like that to her, and Bethany is her friend (or at least friendly with her) and just tortures her like that????? Sociopathic behavior
I believe Morgan has a baby now, but Bethy gives zero shits about all the viewers who may still be facing infertility and loss with no successful pregnancies
Bethany's SISTER struggles with infertility. That's why Kristen adopted. Betha-me is always making comments putting down women who can't have children/adoption.
Kristen didn’t even adopt kids from fucking America. It already disgusts me when people use adopting as a last ditch effort only when they can’t have bio kids, but ignoring the hundreds of thousands of kids in America to adopt internationally is so white savior
Having now finished the video, my biggest takeaway is what a loss it is for these people that they are completely denied a sexual relationship with themselves away from their partner. From the raw meat comment to the idea that Morgan's husband isn't allowed to be alone even in a doctors office ffs, the lack of privacy and bodily autonomy is shocking and of course that breeds sexual dysfunction. You can't truly say you own your body if you're not allowed to touch parts of it on your own. So disempowering. Also, wasn't Morgan teaching about sex and relationships during those 4 years where it now comes out she was hating her own sex life? The audacity.
sometimes bethy gets weirdly close to a life-changing mental breakthrough, and then she falls back on fundie brainwashing instead. she said she resonates with the idea that people having different masculine/feminine energies that can change through life, but still shames trans people for existing... "for me and not for thee" syndrome for sure
I was honestly SHOOK. That's the basis for all we know about being trans. And the fact that she admitted she swaps for a masculine approach sometimes--can you imagine how wild it would be if Bethy turned out to be trans?
If Bethanny was so UNINFORMED about how her own body works, why in the HELL is she trying to give us all so much "information" (term used loosely) and try to rake in cash from unsuspecting idiots! It's the same story with ALL of these "influencers" like her, her equally misinformed sister, Paul & Morgan, and others.....all they have going for them is being able to make videos and spew nonsense! That is what makes them so damned annoying!
"I read a 3,000 year old book that people claim has the answers to EVERYTHING, so that makes me an expert now!" I'm glad I don't suffer from delusions of grandeur. I'm more than comfortable saying, "I don't know, but I'm willing to learn from people who spend their entire lives studying [insert topic here]." I don't need ancient mythology to make me feel better about being a human.
@@ChristopherSadlowskiyea I'm not going to look into religious text for things like "how to build a shelf" lol Yes, I'm taking the "everything" literally.
Thank you Rachel for spending your time reviewing this for us. I used to be a Christian and followed this way of thinking. It is SOOO damaging and I felt so guilty whenever I masturbated or had sexual thoughts. Especially when I realised I am gay and was absolutely terrified, so I lived with that secret for so many years. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and I told my pastor about how I was feeling. I was given two options- 1. Conversion Therapy 2. Leave So, I left. It was the hardest decision of my life and I'm still struggling with internalised homophobia, but I'm getting better. I'm learning about my own worth and who I am without the words of the bible thrown in. Thank you for sharing your perspective and helping me realise I am not alone.
You are absolutely not alone. I never came out to my church, so I can’t imagine how hard that was, but I left my church for similar reasons. I’m so sorry they did that to you and prioritizing yourself was the right decision. It’s hard to lose a community or support system, I’m proud of you and your bravery. Hoping you have or find a community and support system who accepts you as you are.
It's so ironic how these types of people are claiming that feminists are “man-haters” while, at the same time, they're also promoting so many genuinely harmful beliefs about men
This whole video is peak leopards-ate-my-face. Bethany has advocated so hard for zero sex ed, zero knowledge, zero even *thinking* of sex... And now she's married and all shocked "wHy DoN't I kNoW aNyThInG???" YOU YOURSELF SAID WE SHOULDN'T KNOW. AND NOW YOU'RE UPSET YOU DON'T KNOW.
As a Jew, it is so funny to hear these Christian influencers rambling about Hebrew words (he YADAAS me) The word she’s talking about (ladaat) literally just means “to know” as in God knows me, it’s not really special 🤔 like just the other day in Israel I used it (ani lo yodaat) when talking about how I didn’t know where a building was
@@alisaurus4224ngl that just make me think of a white arse poorly mispronouncing Mandarin Chinese while raising their hands like they're worshipping... Something 😅
Purity culture ruined decades of that older couple’s marriage. I’ve been married since ’94, and there was plenty of good information out there pre-internet in books, magazines and even on TV. Not to mention that secular people can have honest conversations about sex with their friends. Or just have lots of sex. Fundie life sounds scary as hell. Bethy is putting a band aid on a problem that she is complicit in propagating.
Right, it’s so horrifying and sad. This is why I’m so glad to be ‘secular’, experienced with sex, and have it with a partner to determine compatibility before marrying them.
Yep! My parents were very open about sex education with me, they were never shameful towards it and my sex life and partners and friends can all have open discussions and help each other. It's great!
There's a point during the infertility session where Bethany talks about her mom 'cranking' out 8 kids. My mom had 5 kids, but I didn't know she had had any miscarriages or other problems until after my wife had a miscarriage. I would be shocked if Bethany's mom never had a miscarriage, it is far more common than anyone thinks.
My mom had 6 kids in 14 years with no miscarriages or complications, no drugs & the last 4 at home… and then i, her only daughter, assuming it would be just as easy for me, had a stillbirth and a few miscarriages followed by uterine cancer & a hysterectomy. Family history doesn’t necessarily mean very much for fertility (besides genetic conditions like endometriosis). I would find it very believable that her family just didn’t talk about sex even regarding childbirth. Ignorance is key to raising good fundie kids
They are far more incredibly common, while not all are known pregnancies', between 10-20% of all pregencies end in miscarriage. While they can come with a lot of emotional and physical trauma due to a number of different reasons, and that is completely valid, they are very common.
My mom had 8 kids in 15 years with no miscarriages, yet almost all the other women in her family had miscarriages and most of them weren't able to have more than two or three kids, even though some of her sister's did wish for a large family
Rachel, I really appreciate your decision to not enter the Facebook group and spy/snark/use real (non-public) women’s experiences as discussion points! Really shows how ethical and empathetic you are. Amazing video as always
"Why is there so much awkwardness surrounding talking about sex?" Is the verbal equivalent of that Eric Andre meme where he sh**ts Hannibal and then turns around and says "Who did this?"
I had the same feeling. Then I realized that her normal videos are probably done with a crew, and she felt like she couldn't have any men, strangers, or family in the room with her when she talked about this. And she probably doesn't know much about editing, and didn't want anyone she knew to edit it, so she did it herself.
The gender bias in research is just so entrenched. I work in a bioengineering lab. Some of the other phd students thought we should work exclusively on male rats because they thought female rats have a monthly cycle and they need accurate measurements week to week. A rat’s menstrual cycle is a few days long. They would rather exclude females from all of their research than do one Google search to learn anything about female biology.
Also tbh even if it would be as radically different as they though, to me that only makes it even more important to get research on? Everything has been abt men. If they think that it’s only MORE reason to study it, that’s such an unscientific perspective
"invite god into your sex life" is a direct quote from sex positive christian brenda davies, AKA god is grey. bethany publicly badmouthed brenda in a venue in which she couldnt defend herself, calling her faith into question, and now she took a quote that brenda said in her free youtube video and charged people $170 for it. shameful.
I don't believe Bethany actually changed her believes. For that, she still promotes them too much. she just realised it's not popular to say those things with a straight face, so she's appropriating feminist talking points to try and twist them to somehow fit her religious ideology.
No, she and the others like her NEVER abandon their beliefs, they simply find another way to phrase things to hide their contempt for Science, Actual Health Information, and other areas that they choose to turn a blind eye to.
To be fair, changing your beliefs doesn't happen all at once. It can and usually does take years especially if you grew up in a certain culture where such beliefs were harshly enforced.
i kind of agree but i also think that she had problems around sex because of her religious trauma. so even if the majority of her belies didn't change I think she is noticing problems around her views on sex.
I grew up fundamentalist (thankfully ex-fundie now), and Bethany's book and teachings hurt me. The purity culture that she perpetuated really hurt me when I was younger, and it is so infuriating for me now see her acting like she is an innocent victim in all this.
I’m of the “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” purity culture generation. I have so much respect for Joshua Harris not just personally leaving the faith, but publicly apologizing for the harmful culture his book supported. Despite acknowledging the damage purity culture did in their own lives, I don’t expect Bethy or Kristin to ever apologize for Girl Defined’s part in it, but maybe they’ll surprise me
I'm a linguist and when at min 3:06:00 they said: give ur body parts and ur position a nice nickname. I was immediately: no darlin that's awful advice, and i'll explain why. Basically you put a barrier between you and what you're talkinf about. By not using the word in your native laguage for it, you're distancing yourself from the topic and that's not useful if your goal is to get more in contact with that topic.
in addition, as a social worker, with kids around that is quite possibly the worst idea. kids will pick up on nicknames and in the case of pain or sa, people outside the home such as doctors, teachers, or other adults wont know what a "dinky" or a "muffin" is to get them the help they need (yes those are real nicknames ive heard)
I was BAFFLED at the bit about it supposedly being (physiologically) harder for women to orgasm at a young age! Pardon the TMI but when I started "self-stimulating" as a ragingly hormonal pubescent girl, probably age 10 or 11, I immediately found it extremely easy. I even remember thinking at the time "what the hell is everyone talking about when they say it's hard for women to orgasm, this is easy as hell!" and I absolutely experienced very intense sensations and often "finishing" quite quickly - in fact I started deliberately prolonging it (edging, I guess?) because it felt too fast. So I call complete BS on the claim that there's something physiologically different in young women that makes it harder for them to orgasm, it's 100% just a matter of some taking longer to figure out what works for them, whereas I luckily figured it out immediately.
That part was also mindnumbing for me, that made no sense. The amount of stories I have heard on a sexual educational forum from girls experiencing their first orgasm due to a cuddly toy with a hard nose that they rode, or whatever was absolutely astonishing. (The experiences of some girls experiencing their first orgasm riding on their dad's knee and being confused when their dad knew what had happened and teaching them that some things are done in a more private setting, and "if you want to do that again, you can go to your room to not confront other people with it" and the stories of the girls involved being deeply confused on why they had to take their dad to their room, not yet realizing what really happened at times was pretty hilarious to read, though it did show well how much more of an obscured life the female reproductive organs tend to have which makes it less apparent for girls what it is that they do compared to boys, even though those types of orgasms experienced are typically less common in boys, because of well anatomy). And yes, prolonging the actual orgasm from happening is commonly referred to as edging or "delaying it". Personally, I think most of the disparity seen in statistics about men and women reaching orgasm next to shame about the female genitalia being very much a thing girls probably get from a young age on during their upbringing, it's also bad sexual education about the female genitalia. While it might have been me shutting down because it was a very distant thing for me as someone not yet in puberty or not connecting with some of the stuff mentioned (as someone undiagnosed with gender dysphoria), I can still not recall sexual education ever mentioning the female orgasm as a result of masturbation, but it did with the male orgasm... Along with the much less externally visible and easily stimulated reproductive organs I feel that this is a big part of the disparity that causes women to reach orgasm a lot less easy or in general a lot less... I mean, that would've been a take, but to hear that whole thing about "how when you are younger it's more difficult" was mindblowing...
@@Dutch3DMaster Yeah, I'm thinking that a lot of it has to do with the world being very male-focused in regards to sex so often it's taught (whether formally or through casual conversations) from the male perspective of "putting penis in vagina feels good" and obviously that's insufficient for most women. Luckily my country is pretty good when it comes to sex ed, but there is still more we could do. It's not physically harder for women to feel pleasure or get orgasms, it just requires different things than men's pleasure and orgasms, so when sex is male-focused it's obviously going to not work out very well for women - and this does extend to masturbation too, when women/girls only learn that it's supposed to be one certain way.
Dang I'm not sure, it's really hard for me personally but I think it might be easier hopefully for others?? My main issues are probably psychological tho tbh I'm kinda with you that there isn't some huge physiological difference. Different equipment, sure but I don't think there's some biological gap built in between sexes
Something I think is often left out of the lube conversation is ALLERGENS! I’m allergic to a lot of lubes, and it’s super important to talk to your partner(s) before you use a new product.
Good advice! While we are here, you have to use a lube compatible to condoms if you use both. If not, it degrades the condom and decreases their efficiency. It can also trigger a vaginal yeast infection (from my experience, not fun).
Absolutely!!! I have had same issues! Also, allergies to different types of condoms (I know these guys are probably scared to mention any sort of birth control)
Them describing the clit, orgasm and penis it honestly sounded like a smuty romance novel trying to to get it's quota of euphemisms. It takes me back to one of my sex ed classes back in school where I had a male teacher couldn't say penis and every one of the students were like if you have one you should be able to say penis...
How the hell can someone like that be a biology teacher.... Or, ehm, was it a biology teacher? It usually is in The Netherlands and it's basically part of regular biology lessons so it's someone you know because you've had lessons from before (and I have understood this isn't always the case in other countries)
I’m gonna be honest before I figured out I was a lesbian I also thought that it was normal not to be interested in seeing your partner experience pleasure. It kind of grossed me out honestly. Now, having sex with women I can honestly say I care about enjoy seeing my partner experience pleasure. I’m not AT ALL saying Bethany is queer, I don’t think she is, but I am saying it’s amazing how many things she says about sex are things that I used to think and feel 😂
Lol as a bi woman who has awesome sex with a male partner who I love deeply, I can honestly say that I work a lot harder in pleasuring women and I get MUCH more pleasure from watching women experience sexual gratification than I do with men. When I’m with a dude, I have to work to swallow a laugh :/ lmao🤣
I also think anytime she is 'talking in hypothetical' it is just her talking about herself. Lol I don't think she knows how to conceptualize how anyone else is actually living on this planet outside of her family.
Something I've noticed about a lot of homeschooled people I know is how hard it is for them to understand that other people aren't just like them or how they were told by their parents people are like.
@@hoykfnvnnesnxnnensncjforkx1616definitely if they weren't socialized. I notice that religious honeschoolers don't socialize their children with people who aren't exactly like them so the kids have no clue. 😭
This made me cry. Thank you. I feel so heard right now and like I own my own body. Thank you for leaving links and talking about this. seriously having someone tell me I don’t have to submit to whatever because I’m a wife and it’s my duty is helping me be able to say no. I have watched this many times now to help what you are saying really sink in. Thank you Rachel.
The guy who invented cornflakes to stop masturbation also wrote a huge book on "proper" sex life while he was a bachelor. Somehow, he found a whole 'nother volume of material while on his honeymoon....
Wow, Bethany doesn't get off to a great start. "Thanks for paying me lots of money. I'm not going to write scripts, do multiple takes, or edit the videos. Sometimes my baby will interrupt. You won't like some of the experts I've chosen. And you'll still have a lot of questions at the end!"
I'm a Jew and the whole Yadah bit made me just incredibly uncomfortable. I really, really don't like it when Evangelical Christians start trying to use Hebrew. They never pronounce it right, and the fact she put an -s on the end to make it a verb??? Eughhh.
I think they somehow feel it gives them more legitimacy if they bring up the “original Hebrew words”. I always found it very cringey that these non-linguist pastors (who also did not know the language at all) were lecturing on the meaning of Hebrew phrases…
same, i couldnt sit through it and skipped that part. i felt so much nausea from her using hebrew. its a special language to me and i associate it with very wholesome family situations so her using it was so weird… also no one speaks hebrew and applies english tenses like that. it’s strange and sounds so disjointed.
@@8114梦见 1000% correct on the legitimacy angle. I took some exegesis & hermeneutics courses in college, and you basically look up a central word from your Bible verse in Hebrew/Aramaic and extrapolate from there. Some students go on to study the whole language in their degree, but dictionary translation without any knowledge of conjugation, grammar, idiom etc was seen as plenty to go on with (same for Greek when your verse is in the New Testament).
in that case i am glad she mispronouned funny and did not aproviate it?! Not jewish thou, if its like people misproounving german, it must be incredibly annoying. ok agree disrespectful. and i know german isnt that personal but i gt the annoyance.
I‘m really excited for this one. I just found your channel through your Colleen Ballinger video and you were since able to make me a fan of poetry and poetry analysis and a more informed feminist!
The fact that I’m a medical student who has just completed pharmacology course and never heard of the gender bias issue in research is just… heart-wrenching. They didn’t even mention the fact that menstrual cycle affects drugs effectiveness. NOT ONCE.
Fucking tragic. Hopefully now that you know, you can spread the word in your classes and demand to see better studies. I keep finding out all kinds of fucked up shit like this, which gives me a little more empathy for the decades of medical gaslighting I endured... But also gives me a sense of just how deep these problems really are.
What? That's crazy. I'm a med student in Italy and we had a separate compulsory lesson of 3 hours about gender bias in medicine. And a few of our professors mentioned it and talked about it in class.
@@francescasciandra2136 One LESSON, a couple of mentions. Doesn't seem unlikely that Rebecca also might get three hours about gender bias as she progresses in obtaining her degree. But this should just be common knowledge, a thread we are made aware of from day one of any kin of medical education. (Sono Italiana anch'io e cmq lo so che le scuole Italiane sono tendenzialmente migliori, eh?)
@@glenn_desert_witch diciamo che ci danno talmente tante informazioni in eccesso e inutili che ogni tanto anche qualche info utile ce la danno ahahahaah
MAJOR PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: If you are taking any herbs or supplements, tell that to your PSYCHIATRIST or PRIMARY CARE DOCTOR or anyone else who is prescribing you medication. Certain ones can very badly interact with prescribed medication and they are almost never regulated by the FDA. (Only edited comment for clarity and to include multiple types of doctors. The importance is the same)
BIG YES. Furthermore, supplements are almost entirely unregulated, spottily studied, and can vary wildly in actual dose of active ingredient between brands or batches of same brand, even assuming there aren’t undisclosed ingredients or contaminants. It’s an incredibly sketchy industry with a cover of being ✨NATURAL✨vs. icky Big Pharma “chemicals”. Not to say they’re worthless, but a lot of people think “natural = safe” and go ahead
Omg this all makes me want to screeeeeeeam. "Why are things so bad? How could it ever have gotten to be this way???" Because of people like youuuuuu Bethany oh my godddddd
@@8114梦见lol one of my professors has a science PhD from an accredited university and still thinks that evolution is fake, being gay is bad because it's "unnatural", porn is sinful and all that stuff. Degrees can't save someone that determined xD
@@diethylmalonateI can attest that this is also true. My mother has a high degree in science, and still holds the views you just mentioned. But as far as calling yourself a PhD, there are plenty of options for people who won’t even go far enough to put in the work haha.
As a woman who weight lifts and works an intensive physical labor job my current doctor essentially said that since I am not my "ideal" weight according to the bmi chart (not waif-like according to cultural norms) that if I just lose 40 lbs my depression and anxiety will be cured. Either that or my anti-depressant or birth control is causing weight gain and I should go off them or change them. Also since I am a woman in my late 20s I will want a baby someday, despite my protests of never wanting kids, and proceeded to tell my the side effects my medications could have on a developing fetus. Needless to say I'm trying to get a new doctor.
Sorry this is happening to you. This BMI stuff is so damaging. And we know that, if we do want to care about fat, which I think is often unnecessary, a waist measurement will do a 1000x better job.
The lady saying men orgasming is like “vanilla ice cream vanilla ice cream vanilla ice cream”, Bethany saying “Ya dah” in increasingly emphatic ways, and the euphemistic ways they skirt around using real terminology for things are all so uncomfortable to watch.
Her type of mindset is awfully harmful, my mother has that same mentality and when I told her my ex bf SA me she said it was normal and basically that it was my fault because "men have needs" and stuff like it was my "duty" to him 🙃 and I don't think they realized just how bad it is, and aside from that I find it kinda funny how a girl with little to no experience on the subject has a paid course, and very expensive if you ask me lol
it’s really insane that this is marketed for, and only for, married women. especially after bethany talked about being clueless the first year of her marriage!
Some churches offer premarital counseling that aims to address some of this, but it’s only offered to couples who are already engaged and usually the sex part will be only a week or two before the actual wedding so there’s less time for “temptation”. It’s like starting driver’s ed by merging onto the highway
@alisaurus4224 I've heard what is taught from someone that is highly religious and it was....still very very very basic (virgin highschool students knew more) and she was terrified to the point of not wanting to get married and the man was freaking out because he didn't even know what anything looked like and didn't understand how non missionary sex worked and thought all the foreplay discussed was gross...it was awful to listen to them discuss it.
@@hoykfnvnnesnxnnensncjforkx1616 there was no formal sex ed at all in my all-religious schools; it was left entirely to the parents. My mom taught me about menstruation and we had books like A Child Is Born that showed the biological side of intercourse & pregnancy, but i had no idea about relationships, boundaries or consent except “say no to everything before marriage.” This left me open to grooming by a trusted adult family friend
Btw, the naturopathic dr lady wasn't talking about "matcha." She said "maca," which is a root that comes from Peru. She definitely should have spelled it out because I don't think many people know what that is😅 so I understand the confusion! I actually found a few studies on its potential properties, but unfortunately it hasn't been researched much. Just wanted to mention it 😊❤️
Thank you! I noticed the same thing.. how can the speaker just expect the listeners to get that? If you don't want to cause (EVEN) more harm, at least provide a transcript or subtitles.. 🙄🙄
The other thing that “married sex only” people forget to recognise is that you can also regret NOT having sex with people other than the one you ultimately marry.
Also, that most sex before you "meet your person" is often not something people regret, unless something serious happens that is very negative/harmful/etc. Also adults rarely ask how many people you've been with...most don't care....they just want to have safe and consensual sex. My gf had more partners than me, and i just asked if we could both get tested before we do anything. It's actually nice having someone more knowledgeable that can help me explore what I like. 😮
I cannot imagine marrying someone without first knowing we were sexually compatible. Most of these people must have the worst sex lives. I truly pity them
@@hoykfnvnnesnxnnensncjforkx1616 my partner and I sound similar to you guys, I've had more partners than him and he feels the same way as you do having someone to learn from 😂 Hope you and your gf are doing good!! :) Also I definitely agree with your comment, I only regret sex with one partner bc of something had that happened, and I dated quite a bit before meeting my current partner and literally no one cared about my "body count". It's anecdotal but I think you're on the money with how much that problem is exaggerated
@joelleash8873 tbh, i cant imagine marrying someone without knowing if we're sexually compatible OR that they've only ever had sex with me. I'd feel like I'd be taking advantage of them, knowing that they have no point of comparison for compatibility.
Regarding the woman who said that women don't care about the male orgasm, I think you have to consider her audience. If that audience consists of women who experience sex only as a painful duty, their main emotion connected with the male orgasm is probably either relief or resentment and not arousal.
Please consider pushing your doctors to refer you to a gynaecologist for any menstrual pain that severe (if it's keeping you house bound from pain, it is severe). General doctors can't diagnose gynaecological problems and will continue to disregard your symptoms. It's very likely that if you (anyone who menstruates) experience pain like this you could have endometriosis or other serious reproductive conditions.
Consent is not relevant to this group of people as course is for married couples, where 'I do' and a ring = permanent consent. Recently stumbled over the work of a group of women fighting back against purity culture and submission issues in the conservative end of the church. They have solid statistical research behind them, books and podcasts/ blogs yt channel, including calling out the books on marriage and intimacy that are bestsellers in their subculture. Because they are still very much part of that faith culture they have a greater chance of being heard than those outside, even so they get massive backlash SheilaWrayGregoire Bare Marriage
actually hypersexuality itself isn't considered a disorder but more a group of symptoms caused by a larger trauma or disorder, like csbd (compulsive sexual behaviour disorder) which IS a diagnosable disorder, it's like saying trauma flashbacks are a disorder when really they're a symptom associated with many mental illnesses/disorders (i.e. ptsd). i will say that csbd and hypersexuality are sometimes used interchangeably but judging by the fact that hypersexuality itself isn't in the icd (international classification for diseases, where csbd is classified) or the dsm, and the fact that it's used to describe symptoms associated with other disorders (like c-ptsd etc.) and in general is used to describe behaviour both associated and not associated with csbd, hypersexuality itself isn't a disorder. (the symptoms definitely span across more than a high sex drive though, that much is true) edit: spelling mistakes lol
I grew up a Fundie and am painfully aware of purity culture - I was made to sign a contract with my father pledging to save myself for my future husband and was given a purity ring to “remind” me - and I sincerely appreciate how thoughtfully you respond to the glaring inaccuracies, as well as recommending resources. You don’t laugh at Bethany (except when needed) and I hope that fundie women find this video and really listen to you. Please keep doing what you are doing!
Bethany having Morgan on as a guest to teach about relationships and sex, things that neither of them know ANYTHING about, is just beyond absurd! (And it's incomprehensible some of the cringe stuff that Paul and Morgan have uploaded; I don't quite suspect that they're satire, but sometimes it's close...)
Asking Morgan for sex advice is like asking a traumatized burn victim how to commit arson... Have infinitely more empathy for Morgan than Bethy, though.
That Viagra thing rly makes me want to cry. It reminds me of how I had to have a cervical biopsy (which means they cut out some of my cervix to test for cancer) and I was told the pain would be intense, but they refused to give me any type of pain killer. It was one of the worst things ive ever been through.. and they simply dont care. Even at the dentist, they numb you or even knock you out.. so why... do they refuse to give women pain killer?
I’m so sorry you were treated like that. I had pain pills and numbing shots in the cervix (which also weren’t fun) for my uterine biopsy and i still almost couldn’t let them finish. 💙💜💚
If you can please consider supporting a wonderful charity like Mermaids to offset the harmful content that creators like Bethany put out into the world! I've already made my initial donation and (if this video is monetised by UA-cam) I'll be donating a portion of the profits too :)
mermaidsuk.org.uk/donate/
mermaidsuk.org.uk/
Check out my resource list here: docs.google.com/document/d/1uFXVB508q3iCgqX24RrGaHFiJh68hxED05qJD3P2noo/edit?usp=sharing
Just put in my 5lbs 🎉
This is weird timing because I just started donating to them the day before this video came out!
Did you notice at 12:15 that, instead of Bethany asking her audience to approach her speakers with an open mind, she rather asks them to approach her speakers “with open ears and an open heart?” To me, it’s interesting, because either these weirdos want you *listening* and *feeling* but absolutely not *thinking* - so where most of us would say “approach this with an open mind,” these people are instead subliminally programming their audience to devalue thinking and instead to “listen” and to “feel” - or else these weirdos are themselves so programmed against reason that the phrase “an open mind” is a plain anathema to them … to use your mind is to sinfully critically think, where instead you should be “praying for a discernment” or “trusting in God’s will” or “listening for guidance,” i.e. relying on unexamined assumptions, preconceived belief, and cultural bias - in other words, “your gut intuition” - to inform your decisions … or just asking your pastor/sheriff/mayor/boss, likely all the same person, what to do.
I got you!
just finished watching the video, super informative and an AMAZING watch
Isn't it... strange... to breastfeed a baby during a lesson aimed at infertile people? It's like a calculated sort of cruelty
I doubt she considered that but yeah that's fucked
Yeah, as someone who struggles with infertility, that really annoyed me. Like having it rubbed in my face that she has a kid and maybe I never will.
right it's so silly. i actually think having a baby in the room when talking about any of this course was kinda weird. (especally when one of the guest speakers SAed a baby.)
@@kattyfostty5674yep she also had her baby with her for the mastrubation video
I think that is stretch, I don’t agree with many of her things. But she doesn’t need to stop breastfeed bc she is lesson session
When Bethany was talking about wishing there was some kind of required class / consuelling for newly weds about sex...
If only there was something like SEX ED?! But no, fundies like her are actively advocating banning it from schools.
Well yeah lol
Why let kids find out how to be safe for free when she can have people pay to learn their consent doesn't mean anything?
Don’t some community centers offer newlywed classes?
really though. you want people to know things about sex before they start having it BUT you don't want sex ed!?!?!? it's really confusing...... and hypocritical.
@@kattyfostty5674, they think telling teens about sex makes them more likely to have sex.🙄
I guess in theory, they are different things. Sex Ed is about the mechanics of sex, safe sex, and hopefully includes a discussion on consent. A course for long-term relationships should be more in-depth about nurturing intimacy in the long term?
But yeah, i am completely on your side that everyone should have sex Ed so they know the basics when/if they have sex.
I'm a sexologist, and this whole thing reminds me of a funny anecdote. A couple of female colleagues of mine wrote a great book for cis men who have sex with women giving great direction and advice on how to be more confident and in general better at sex with women. One man wrote a lengthy review about how great and helpful the book was, and at the end called the two women "obvious San Francisco liberals" and how they wrote a great book despite being, and I quote, "slut-shaming feminist whores". I will never to my dying day forget this because it encapsulates so vividly the insane, backwards "logic" of right wingers who want the benefit and entitlement of sexual freedom and pleasure for themselves, while actively doing everything in their power to deny that freedom to others. This man derived great benefit from the labor of the feminists he hates so much, and at no point did it occur to him that in the world that he wants to create, this knowledge that saved his sex life wouldn't even exist. Honestly, there isn't a pretzel in the world that is twisted enough to depict this kind of convoluted logic. Oh, and accusing a woman of being a slut shamer while unironically calling her a whore... that's just the cherry on top.
Slutshaming whore?! 😂 make it make sense. It’s one or the other my man
I have a strong feeling that this guy knows nothing about the usage of those words and just knows that they're derogatory to women. The little sanity left in him after all the right-wing conditioning made him thank your colleagues for their great advice but the rest of the insanity reminded him that they're supposed to be the "lesser gender". Weird mindsets 🥴
Btw can you name the book they wrote?
This right here! 👆🏻 The right wing conservatives want the great sex bit without understanding the knowledge and expertise to help them have it comes from the liberals they hate, and that by trying to destroy sex ed, are actually shooting themselves in the foot 🙄 I'm a sexologist too.
The pretzel part made me smile
Tell us the book name🔫
Bethany is constantly like "We need to get past the notion that talking about sex is naughty or gross. But I'm not going to use any proper terminology because those words are naughty and gross."
I would've sooner joined an anatomy class instead.
They seemed SO uncomfortable actually trying to talk about it 😂
The change from “if you were raped you sinned” to “you’re a sexual being and if you’re less sexual you’re broken” has given me an actual headache.
no no see. you need to be a sex repulsed asexual untill you got married. but being raped is obviously your responsibility. because you still opened your legs or something. doesn't matter if you wanted something or not.
but as soon as you get married you are supposed to have a high libido, only directed towards your husband.
if it is not completely conditional on your marital status, you are broken.. somehow. because you are supposed tp somehow change as soon as you get married....
You know, I got a headache reading that comment so I completely understand what you mean. My headache continued reading the actually well explained response lol. I'm only 2 minutes into the video
@@dutchik5107 It might sound funny when applying it to Christians like this but lots of people think this way. I'm asexual and my non-religious allosexual partners have all thought if I loved them enough my sexuality would change and got very angry at me for betraying them by having the sexuality I disclosed I had.
So apparently a lot of people think it's normal to go from asexual to individual sexual when true love (or godly marriage) unlocks it. Maybe it works for some folks (like demi or grey aces) but most people don't 'change sexuality' as much as it upsets entitled people.
@@qwandary I mean even like yeah I'm technically demi. Or maybe just a very sex positive ace. And I wouldn't want to wait till marriage.
Sure hook ups with strangers sound really unappealing.
But I wouldn't even want to wait more than a few months (note. Only dated people I already knew). Can think they ugly, but emotionally good. And thus like want sex despite physically attracted? Nah. Just like the dopamine and maybe the intimacy.
But maybe I'm just weird with ace spectrum but being very sexual.
I guess my sexuality is the ideal. If you get married after knowing eachother for a few months.... which is certainly not my ideal.
@@dutchik5107 I'd use the term 'sex favourable' if you're interested in sex sometimes. Sex positive is more than just wanting sex, it's a mindset that focuses on consent so sex positivity includes valuing sex repulsive asexuals, and stuff :)
So I'm a sex-positive, sex-repulsed ace. :)
Anyway yeah, having sex before marriage can provide some really useful information. Also I don't think it's weird that you're ace and very sexual at all :)
“The ultimate sex course for Christian woman” isn’t a typo, it’s specifically meant ONLY for Bethany 😂
😂
I love this lol you're a genius 😅
I also love that the “ultimate” sex course will leave you with questions and wanting to learn more 😂 that feels more like “an introduction to”
@@lilianmorgenstern2123 that’s because it’s for Bethany… always left wanting more 😭
Well she couldn't title "I need therapy and won't admit it" that wouldn't sell.
"Why are so many women awkward about sex?" Bethany asks, oblivious to the fact that her Christian culture of sexual oppression and repression is literally the answer staring her in the face
This was a hard watch, oof. Thank you for taking one for the team and sharing this
768
This is one of those things that demonstrates just how little she knows about *anything* at all. She thinks *all* women are awkward about sex, because those are the women she knows. And the few women who are not, that she knows, come from inside her culture. So it's just some sort of accident -- perhaps even innate. She is oblivious to the fact that in "the world" women who were never badly indoctrinated are absolutely not awkward about sex, and are having an absolute blast with it.
The call is coming from inside the house lol
What I took from it is that they see women as one monolith and men as one monollith as if they are no individuals just two personality types; male and female.
One of the reasons why I left religion. I could start to be myself instead of trying to fit into the monolith and then see other people as individuals that I had to be open-minded about.
@glenn_desert_witch The women she reads about as well as she only reads Christian books.
Many of us were indoctrinated against sex even if not religious or from a religious family because of the prevailing Christian culture coming from tradition and the Government and getting into schools and the mainstream media. I wasn't in the age group to read Judy Blume and Jacqueline Wilson books as a teenager as they hadn't been published then. So I made do with science fiction at that age instead. I read a few as an adult but by then it was too late.
it's so bizarre watching people in their thirties discover basic knowledge that I already knew at age 14 💀
Or even elementary school we had our first class in fifth grade
right? There’s so much free information out there on the internet but they choose to shun sex ed, and then wonder why they know nothing about sex. Wonder why nothing is going right and why they are like deer in the headlights. Wonder why “nobody else is ever talking about this” like they didn’t contribute to the restriction of knowledge.
I don’t want to shame people who didn’t have the privilege of proper sex ed and open-minded family and community members, but I can’t extend that same sympathy towards present activists of purity culture. You reap what you sow. I knew the basics and more by the time I was 14 and that knowledge has helped me then and since.
@@ik.5736yeah this spoke to me. Was I reading smut fanfics at 12 years old? Yes. Was i perhaps too young for much of what i read? Yep. Did i grow up with a much better understanding of sex, my body and what I like sexually? Also yes. The internet is kinda complicated in this way - if you are let free to roam it in unlimited ways from a young age, it can both be detrimental and positive.
Fr 😂😂 she don't know what sex is
But why are we surprised? Good Christian men with a wife and daughters legit think we can just choose not to menstruate. The lack of basic knowledge is not only appalling but sad.
Wow I’m shocked that the guest speaker who wrote a book about orgasms could not say the word penis without stumbling over it. I would be upset if I paid for this.
Also saying male penis implies there can be a female one? Bold take from one of these transphobes.
@@alien-vu7ylcheckmate conservatives 💅
@@alien-vu7ylfemale penis is too powerful and cant be spoken of
Wattpad stories written by 15 year olds are spicier than Bethany’s course 😭😂
And probably more educational.
Definitely more educational too. As a teen I didn’t get any sex ed in school until 17 years old, and at home the discussion was completely non-existent; my only teacher was Wattpad. it actually did teach me a lot of what I needed to know. I doubt this course would’ve done a better job for my 14 y/o self
*chokes*
Thats why in my fanfiction I describe consent, other things that many people just may not know. It's so important for teens to see it and not cringe at the idea of asking your partner if they got tested recently!
@@arymotana1573Eyyyy!! *high-fives in sex positive fic writing*
I would pay $169 to never hear Bethany say "Yadahhhhhh" in that tone ever again
Top tier cringe!
My brain kept insisting on hearing it as “Yatta!” which is a Japanese word I’ve picked up from anime and means, roughly, “Hooray, I did it!”
the first time i didnt think was that bad… I didnt expect her to repeat it.. and for it to escalate… that much.
@@mst3kharris I work with Japanese kids, so I hear "Yada!" which means something like "Ugh/bad/stop!"
right?? my GOD, the only thing that made me more uncomfortable than that was that sex therapist and her constant "yessss... mhmmmmm..... yeahhhhh.... riiiight..." accompanied by that "empathetic therapist look" except she did it in such an extremely over-the-top way that it felt condescending LOL
Why doesn’t Bethany understand that it’s inappropriate to have her baby in a training video - especially about sexuality? 😬
*especially* in an infertility session
I'm genuinely worried about what happens when the child finds out about this later. Children are not your props!
By the way she talks about sex, she probably thinks no one believes she's ever had it and needs a baby as a constant that she has had sex at least once.
@@amandad8922 There might be some truth to that. Unconsciously, she likes to display the proof that she's having sex now.
@@ettazthat was a slap in the face. So very cruel
$169 for a purity culture princess to tell US how to enjoy a sexual relationship with our partners (exclusive to straight people only). 🙄😂
Um excuse you straight MARRIEDS only
But only if you are a Christian otherwise go find another sex guru you heathen
When she doesn’t even enjoy it herself 🤣
Yea, as a married woman, I think I'll pass. Me and partner use this crazy thing called ✨ communication ✨. Its amazing how effective just talking to someone can be 😂
@@kaleighwiens1860the “singles” and “marrieds” cracks me up
49:19 I'm so glad Bonny clarified we were talking about "male" penises specifically! Glad to see she recognizes and respects girl dick. /s
You win best UA-cam comment of the day😂
😂😂😂😭😭😭😭
I noticed that, too lmao
“Girl dick” is contradictory. That’s not a thing.
Lmao that stood out to me, too 😂
Everyone saying Bethany could have just had someone watch her kids, but I think she used her child as a shield to seem pure while talking about sex. She’s a disaster of a human being.
This is such a good point.
@@heysarasShe even explicitly states that in the video. “She’ll be in the video since of course without sex she wouldn’t be here!” 🫠
I'm not sure it's acceptable in her circle to have someone else take care of the children. A mother not being at home and with the kids to WORK? I think girl defined Made Videos talking about how evil that is
I worry about her kids.
@@Sajirahmannnn I feel bad for that kid. I wouldn’t want to be reminded of that!
Re: Bethany not knowing how to teach-her only example is a pastor rambling on at church with all the authority and none of the education, standards, or accountability. So that’s how she “teaches” in her course.
Agreed. I was just thinking this! The way she teaches reminds me of a pastor.
I was literally thinking this too. It's kinda sad how isolated she was growing up, she doesn't even realize her way of "teaching" is actually just preaching.
@@AshChiCupcakexactly
THIS
that is EXACTLY how she does it, in all the little snippets of any Girl Defined video i've ever seen (i say snippets because i've only ever seen them in the context of other people making videos about them, god forbid i actually go to their channel and watch a full video and GIVE THEM A VIEW lmao) both her and her sister just ramble ON AND ON for minutes on end without saying ANYTHING of substance. it's all just unnecessary beating around the bush with paraphrasing, tangents, vague phrasing and endless sentences. they are SO boring and hard to listen to.
Bethany: Purity culture, amirite?
She perpetuated it and now she's hired herself to solve this problem.
Let's not give her any credit. She's trying to corner the market on both sides.
Reminds me of how the fairness cream industry markets their products in Asian countries - they keep perpetuating the idea that dark skin is the problem and sell their cream as the solution.
And the funny thing is that with both grifts she set herself up on her pedestal to judge others and tell everyone how to live, but at no point did she ever do either thing 'right' as per her own videos. Her whole platform is her taking the things she herself is insecure about and pretending she's really happy and successful so she can pass of that insecurity onto her audience.
It's like those wellness youtubers I used to watch who all turned out to have EDs and just passed them onto their audience to try and make their insecurities go away. It doesn't hurt and at some point it's just obvious and sad.
Bruh, she's pretty much admitting that when she was "teaching" girls about relationships, love and girlhood, etc, she had NO IDEA WHAT SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT. And sees no problem with it. All while she's also doing it AGAIN.
And then claims she never promoted purity culture
"If you can't talk to your partner about sex then you shouldn't be having sex." Yes, Rachel. 100%. Communication and lots of it is key. I can't imagine having a miserable sex life for years. You can do the act but you can't talk about it? Grow up, Morgan.
Porgan are just the worst 😂 so lacking in knowledge and education and yet so smug and sanctimonious!
The 'we didn't realize you need an emotional connection for sex' thing is bad enough but like... how did they get *married* if they didn't connect emotionally??
Didn't her sister tell her ON her wedding day that she wasn't attracted to her husband?? It's so weird.
@@lassorootit’s even weirder because she has issues with being a horny little Christian woman. Iirc she’s mentioned how she needs to think of other things during sex because she enjoys it too much. How damaging was her upbringing that wanting your husband is seen as a problem.
I don’t think any of these side hugging fundies have the ability to form an emotional connection before their weddings. Aside from the fact their marriage is their first relationship, they’re actively kept apart. Not sure anyone would be able to build a connection with such surface level interactions and lack of understanding of what emotional connection in a relationship actually means or feels like 😢
Some of them don’t seem to be attracted to men in general. Plus purity culture teaches you to shut down your own wants and needs. They think sex will magically be this perfect experience everyone they know talked it up to be.
I think Bethany is having a hard time differentiating between teaching and telling somebody what to learn. She’s not writing the textbook, she’s just saying what should be in it.
Bingo. Excellent observation.
I think Rachel hit the nail on the head when she said that Bethany has no idea what structured education even looks like, because she was homeschooled.
Imagine talking to someone about infertility while breastfeeding your baby. “Oh how awful, please excuse me while I tend to my baby”
It’s the definition of tone deaf.
@@edvh88Tone-deaf, or purposefully malicious. But whose to say.
Her sister suffers with infertility and she still does this….
Especially because didn't she struggle with it for a while? Like I know that ache in your heart, oops lemme have my baby
absolutely, just hurtful
Weirdly the thing that makes me the most mad about this criminally expensive, pedagogically nonsensical, and laughably hollow 'sex course' is the fact that she didn't schedule the recording of these videos during a time when her children aren't loudly verbalizing in the background. Dav couldn't have taken them to the park for a few hours? Or dropped them off at a trusted family or friend's house? Paid a babysitter? Or simply waited until they were down for the night? How on Earth does she not care enough to edit some clean audio for the people spending their hard-earned money to hear what she has to say? What an insult to the people she claims to want to help.
i actually think its on purpose. its a key point of pride for her that she is a mother, and making a show of having family stuff going on all the time feels on brand.
@@Saibellusexactly, her value pride brand
@@Saibellusexactly!!
No she’s so happy that she finally has kids that she has to shove them in peoples faces at all times.
I also think it’s on purpose. She wants everyone to know she has done the deed.
fun fact about the "socks for better sex" theory - researchers were studying female orgasm and were having women orgasm in a cold and sterile lab environment... The study participants asked if they could wear socks to keep their feet warm and the ability to orgasm increased while time to orgasm decreased. So, while it's true that socks can help, the reality is that COMFORT can create better orgasms (not just socks!). I learned this in the book Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski!
Or turning up the thermostat.
That is a great book!
come as you are? like Nirvana?😭
“I was raised in a wonderful Christian home” knowing DAMN WELL THAT HER MOTHER HEIDI BAIRD LITERALLY DISMISSED AND COVERED UP THAT HER OLDEST SON MICHAEL WAS BEINGED SAed BY A NEIGHBOR!!! These women are evil.
Wait, what!? It doesn’t surprise me this happened though, it’s common with these ultra religious groups. I hope he’s doing better.
I did not know this. Whaaaaaaat
I did not know that. That’s horrible. I hope he’s doing better today
Is he still in the cult?
@@stuff1784nah i think he's since left the family by the time he spoke out
imagine being a grown adult with a marriage and children and not being able to say penis with a straight face. and charging $169 for it.
Honestly, I experienced someone who helped give informational lessons about different sexual preferences or sexual identities to 13-14 year olds who also didn't use the word penis, but a different word for it that you use almost only when talking about the male reproductive organ to pre-schoolers....
I decided to mention that to the person in question once after one of those lessons because to me it came over as if we were trying to belittle those students or treat them like much younger children.
@@Dutch3DMasterHow did they respond?
The fact the fundie snark subreddit has a discount code for her course already has me in shreds 😂💀
I wonder what happened to not touching the poo. I'd say that qualifies.
that "ultimate sex course for christian woman" typo, plus the fact that it seems like she's making the course as an excuse to ask all these 'experts' questions, is hilarious to me. it's bethany. bethany is the singular Christian Woman that the course is for. 😭
💯
Totally
I cannot stand Bethany's fake "empathy" face she uses while these people are talking
Bethany’s eyes glaze over and she looks like shes being tortured every time someone else speaks lol
Ugh I came here to make this comment. Watching Bethany make a little sad face and nod and go "mmm" makes me want to scream. Actually every time she says "mmm" in any context drives me crazy.
Even listening to a woman being SAed , I wanted to punch her
Dude the masculine feminine spectrum section was wild. If you hold that belief, how can you say that there are only two genders? Bethany is so close to deconstruction, but just not putting 2 and 2 together yet.
maybe one day she willshken enough, but i wouldnt wait.
I think it fully demonstrates her complete lack of critical thinking skills. She decides to listen to a source and from that moment forward doesn't bother to question or think about a single thing that source says.
cognitive dissonance... is the basis of right wing christianity
I think Bethany totally misunderstood what that guest was saying. She seemed to think she meant that men and women have different sex styles and that couples need to decide if they're going to have masculine (rough, emotionless sex) or feminine (emotional lovemaking) sex before starting the session. She truly seems to believe only women want sex to be emotional and that women will only have orgasms if it is a "feminine" session. I don't think she thinks she is ever masculine at all.
honestly i think she's just kinda stupid. as rachel said, it's either that she's improving, or that she can't dare to have an original thought so she sits there and agrees with anything someone says without really understanding.
Just a reminder that research suggests at least 1% of the population is asexual or identifies somewhere on the spectrum of asexuality. When you are asexual bit are constantly told that EVERYONE experiences sexual attraction and there is something wrong woth you if you dont, you can end up pressured to do things you dont actually want. Thank you rachel for bringing this up, because asexuality is commonly overlooked or purposefully ignored
Just had a side thread debate somewhere else where it was mansplained to be that even if I have a low sex drive I can't possibly be happy being a single, childless woman,....
100% this! I think having those messages constantly communicated to you also makes it that much harder to discover, let alone navigate your sexuality if you're on the ace spectrum. I remember being so confused when some switch didn't flip when I fell in love and got married, and that's an incredibly difficult position for both parties to be in when you haven't been taught that it's even a *possibility.*
As someone who is also aromantic I don’t wanna tell anyone because I know what I’ll hear. If I say “I’m not attracted to anyone.” I’ll get some variation of “Oh you’ll find someone.”
No, I mean I do not feel attraction towards *anyone.*
@@cospaws8810 I feel that. I hate when people assume you just haven't met the "right" person or something. That isn't how it works!!
@@cladthecrab It’s the *same* thing as telling a gay man “you haven’t found the right woman” or a lesbian “you haven’t found the right man”.
Just wanted to note that Bethy is totally ok criticizing Catholicism because, as an Evangelical fundie, Bethy doesn’t consider Catholics “real” Christians. I was raised similarly to Bethy and can vouch for this as a common belief in that fundie world.
I was raised Catholic, and I have come across this shitty mindset from that group.
@@Passions5555im not religious but my evangelical friend would get blanked by the catholic organisers of a youth group at my uni. Bit disgusting really when the majority of the rest of us openly didnt even believe and theyd speak to us.
Yeah, I was raised Catholic, and when I was 9 my family moved to a place inhabited almost entirely by evangelical fundamentalists.
Let me tell you, fully grown fundie adults have absolutely no issue with telling a 9 year old that they’re going to Hell because they’re Catholic. Everyone from my peers at school to my elderly neighbors had this weird glee about my inevitable demise and eternal suffering.
It’s really weird to say that I’ve suffered religious persecution when I’m Catholic, because on a global level Catholicism is huge and powerful and all, but that was my experience from 9 until I was done with college.
At least it gave me a thick enough skin that by time I was in middle school and they decided to add in bullying my queerness in addition to my religion, I was too used to it to be too broken up about it.
@@Melissa-zh3zl yes, that "weird glee" ... exactly! Taking pleasure in that is hard to comprehend
Same though mine is Baptist, thoguht I have been to other churches like Evangelist and Methodist. It's really strange to me that they diss on the other Christian groups as "fake" or not "Christian Enough".
If it weren’t so sad, it would be funny that this sad lady made this rudimentary “course” to tell us what the rest of us have known since 15. She thinks she’s really doing something here: “Guys, you’ll never guess what I’ve learned about sex!” No, ugh, we know, Bethany. We know.
Sadly I think she is writing it for all the women who grew up like her, either home schooled with no sex education or in a state where sex education is still abstinence based.
Damn💀
Yeah and? not everyone has the same knowledge as you. Have you ever considered that?
Omg guys, dont pretend to be a corpse during sex and you MIGHT get an orgasm ! What?! 🤡
@@briceidycierramarrujosmith4563
Yeah, that's the point. She was denied this by her upbringing, and rather than confronting the failings of her beliefs she asks, "how did this happen", refusing to admit she's enforced it herself. She could grow and mature by admitting that her one-size-fits-all approach is harmful, but she will not allow the two sides to touch. She puts her "new" knowledge into its own compartment where it can't affect anything else she believes.
As a Jew who received a religious education and knows Hebrew, hearing Bethany use the word yada (or ידע in Hebrew) the way she does is laughable. The word means “know” as in “to know”. That’s it. It’s used as a metaphor in genesis to mean sex but that is all. Its used like that one time. It’s not that deep
Just to be clear: yada doesn’t mean fuck. In genesis it says that Adam and Eve got to know each other. In that context it’s used to mean that Adam and Eve got to know each other on a deeper and more physical and sexual level. Which implies that they’ve had sex but the word yada which means “know” doesn’t inherently mean sex it’s just the context it’s used in that one time that gives the overall verse that meaning
So essentially yada was equivalent to saying "the devils tango" or "doing the do"? That's kinda funny
@@AshSmith_Hades only that one time yeah. Idk why Bethany makes it sound like it’s always used as a stand in for the word sex. From my understanding the one time it was used to mean sex was more of a “and Adam and Eve got to know each other on a more physical and sexual level” but I digress. The idea that she thinks that verses that have to do with God “knowing” you should be interpreted as relating to sex is mildly concerning…
It’s just a word
Just heard her say it and I’m talking it back I would even say it should be illegal for her to say it wtf
Yk what, I’m going to go shout that at my grandpa to piss him off 💀
Session 5: “Spicy Bedroom” to them means “sex both partners desire & enjoy.” THAT is the goal they’re desperately clawing towards inch by inch. Kinks & toys are light-years away
In that community I think that IS spicy. Can you imagine that poor woman realizing that she can enjoy sex?
it's just sad
Something I didn't catch before thanks to the other ick was the 'therapist' husband joking that "I'd learned quite a bit about sex from my fellow 3rd graders" -- so these folks know that elementary school kids talk about it enough (badly) that they're comfortable turning it into a punchline, but _also_ constantly claim that such kids are too young for even basic sex ed covering things like consent
I can't imagine having a child, acting as if my world revolves around my child, but then not educate them on the most basic fundamentals of life. 🤯😔
You're so right. They also say kids shouldn't be exposed to "gender ideology" but teach them stuff like, dolls are for girls.
@@cv6442 A very good way I saw someone explain it in a video was John Oliver saying: "It is so weird being so uptight about a subject in school that you LITERALLY HAVE TO ACTUALLY DEAL WITH FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE."
For having had good sexual education (living in the Netherlands) I honestly didn't look at it this way ever, but that made a lot of sense.
Her daughter being in the room and her "crying once" followed by an eye roll gives me "blanket training vibes" babies cry that is how they communicate with you
I feel so bad for those kids
I dont know enough of that babies, babies cry fr all kinds of reason as they cant talk.
But i am worried too i guess, poor kid.
Her knowlede of biology or rather ignorance doesnt help.
I hope she didn't blanket train her babies. 💔
@@rebeccaspratling2865 me too but it really wouldn't surprise me if she did 😢
Holy smokes, I had no idea that "viagra" had this potential. It's increadly upsetting, once more. This is why we need feminism!
What is it??
PCOS (and other conditions along those lines) would be better researched if it weren’t for sexism
@@khushichadha512research in the 1990s showed viagra eliminated period cramps. 🫠 wtf.
Starts at 1:13:37
@@theburgersystem126yeah, sure, sexism is the reason, not the cost of a SINGLE pill (in my country more than $100) that no woman would pay just so she can have no period pain for 4 hours. And there are multiple risks associated with it, that is why you need a doctors prescription for it. There are better drugs for period pain already out there and that is the reason it got no funding.
I honestly feel bad for Beth in a way. The one part where she describes how she had never had an orgasm after over a YEAR being married to her husband, and then later how she described being hurt and feeling like "raw meat" as her husband tore up her insides is just depressing. Get yourself a better man, christ.
And then the part where her own guest that she brought on tries to convince her that she *has* had an orgasm before because it's "mysterious" and "on the inside" and "[not] loud and noisy" is just like.. gross.
Really quite appalling that she is trying to sell this ""course"" for such a huge amount of money though.
The way I read "get yourself a better man, christ" as encouraging her to hook up with Jesus 😂
@Tink00 You know he'd do it right tho
@@cottage-core_ I mean he hung out with prostitutes, he must've picked up a few tips on not being a selfish lover 😂
I like listening to sex and dating advice, so this scenario is so familiar, and unfortunate, so I do feel bad for her despite all this other nonsense she spouts.
Also as a result of listening to sex and dating advice it occurred to me - would anyone in this course think to suggest a vibrator? It's a simplistic "solution" but I've heard so many vulva owners having success with vibes vs. just penetration! You can use them alone, you can have your partner use them with you, they're easy to find in many shapes and sizes, etc. Is that just too lewd for Bethy or her advisors to recommend?
@@KireiC I feel like they would focus way too much on the masturbation side of vibes to recommend them. I think a lot of Christians are like only okay with missionary sex and nothing else. It's really quite sad 'cause like you said, it probably would help a whole lot!
I just realized this isn’t a “course” at all; it’s a SYLLABUS: a big list of what you will need to learn, complete with required reading ($old $eparately).
Prof. Bethy’s part is done ✅
Was it really $169??
We got Bethany the sex goddess over here, and then we have her sister creating "break free from the sexual sin of masturbation!" PDFs.
Thankfully I bought it wish a discount code but yeah, the course normally sells for $169 - it's insane!
@@RachelOates if all 250 people in that facebook group paid full price then bethany has made OVER $42K off of this course and i can't handle it
@@vhbesstapeAnd unfortunately, those people are very community driven (even if it's only THEIR community they care about) which means things like this get recommended around churches.
ok but consider maybe kristen is creating confused sexually repressed christian women with her anti-masturbation pdfs, and then sending them straight to bethany, both rake in the profits ? now thats a conspiracy i can get behind
@@vhbesstapeWTF
**TRIGGER WARNING**
I felt like this was necessary to add to your brief questions about "pointing the toes". I come from a family that is deeply rooted in Christianity and purity culture. I thought it was my obligation to provide my (now ex-)husband with sex and pointing my toes was one of the ways I got through it. I don't have any understanding as to how it might help or benefit the sexual experience. It never provided any kind of positive physical response for me. Pointing my toes was the distraction I used during the intercourse that I did not consent or felt pressured into performing. I don't think that this is what the "expert" is eluding too because I thought this was a very personal thing, that other people didn't do. But I just thought I should say something because it did make me deeply uncomfortable to hear her mention that...
I haven't gotten to that point in this video, but if it's what I'm thinking about, then it's a piece of advice that would be good in any other context. Intentionally "starting" things your body does during orgasm can help you "get there" but you have to be in a safe, comfortable environment. The relationships GD promotes are not that.
I am so sorry that you had to go through that.
@@Elaan021 Thank you for the insight.
I’m not at that point either but I agree it’s strange, I tend to point my toes whenever I’m in pain or discomfort. For me it kind of seems like a way to tense up without physically showing it in your upper body so I have no idea how it would be a positive move in good sex.
I did dance all my life so I feel less sexy when I don’t point my toes!!
Me too!!
Rachel, if you’re struggling so badly with your periods.. please look into endometriosis, it’s so common but so misunderstood. Doctors are incredibly gaslighty and don’t care about women’s pain but this is a real disease and one of the most painful conditions. X
Endo affects an estimated 1 in 10 people with uteruses! It’s so misunderstood, periods are not supposed to be debilitating
I have it. And it is AWFUL.
My doctor told me my only solution was hormonal birth control
@@JENNIFAFAA hormonal birth control helps in some cases. Laparoscopic surgery is another option but there is a chance it can grow back. No known cure unfortunately. A hormonal IUD was very helpful for me personally
@@JENNIFAFAA sometimes its the only way especially if you dont want a surgery but you can burn the endometriosis away and hope it doesnt come back
Maybe I'm biased because I don't like Bethany in general, but the fact that she chose to breastfeed while talking to someone who struggled with infertility while they talked about that specific topic???? Holy shit. I mean I can't stand Morgan but even I wouldn't even consider doing something like that to her, and Bethany is her friend (or at least friendly with her) and just tortures her like that????? Sociopathic behavior
I believe Morgan has a baby now, but Bethy gives zero shits about all the viewers who may still be facing infertility and loss with no successful pregnancies
Bethany's SISTER struggles with infertility. That's why Kristen adopted. Betha-me is always making comments putting down women who can't have children/adoption.
Omg and the noises?!? Right next to the mic?!? Just baby gurgling gross noises. I had to skip through that immediately
Kristen didn’t even adopt kids from fucking America. It already disgusts me when people use adopting as a last ditch effort only when they can’t have bio kids, but ignoring the hundreds of thousands of kids in America to adopt internationally is so white savior
Morgan has a baby and is pregnant again, so in that interaction, it probably wasn't an issue
Having now finished the video, my biggest takeaway is what a loss it is for these people that they are completely denied a sexual relationship with themselves away from their partner. From the raw meat comment to the idea that Morgan's husband isn't allowed to be alone even in a doctors office ffs, the lack of privacy and bodily autonomy is shocking and of course that breeds sexual dysfunction. You can't truly say you own your body if you're not allowed to touch parts of it on your own. So disempowering.
Also, wasn't Morgan teaching about sex and relationships during those 4 years where it now comes out she was hating her own sex life? The audacity.
Imagine having to learn to masturbate *in front of your husband*!
sometimes bethy gets weirdly close to a life-changing mental breakthrough, and then she falls back on fundie brainwashing instead. she said she resonates with the idea that people having different masculine/feminine energies that can change through life, but still shames trans people for existing... "for me and not for thee" syndrome for sure
I was honestly SHOOK. That's the basis for all we know about being trans. And the fact that she admitted she swaps for a masculine approach sometimes--can you imagine how wild it would be if Bethy turned out to be trans?
If Bethanny was so UNINFORMED about how her own body works, why in the HELL is she trying to give us all so much "information" (term used loosely) and try to rake in cash from unsuspecting idiots! It's the same story with ALL of these "influencers" like her, her equally misinformed sister, Paul & Morgan, and others.....all they have going for them is being able to make videos and spew nonsense! That is what makes them so damned annoying!
"I read a 3,000 year old book that people claim has the answers to EVERYTHING, so that makes me an expert now!" I'm glad I don't suffer from delusions of grandeur. I'm more than comfortable saying, "I don't know, but I'm willing to learn from people who spend their entire lives studying [insert topic here]." I don't need ancient mythology to make me feel better about being a human.
It’s not a course. It’s just Bethany sharing with the world that she doesn’t know anything about anything.
@@ChristopherSadlowskiyea I'm not going to look into religious text for things like "how to build a shelf" lol
Yes, I'm taking the "everything" literally.
Thank you Rachel for spending your time reviewing this for us. I used to be a Christian and followed this way of thinking. It is SOOO damaging and I felt so guilty whenever I masturbated or had sexual thoughts. Especially when I realised I am gay and was absolutely terrified, so I lived with that secret for so many years. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and I told my pastor about how I was feeling. I was given two options-
1. Conversion Therapy
2. Leave
So, I left. It was the hardest decision of my life and I'm still struggling with internalised homophobia, but I'm getting better. I'm learning about my own worth and who I am without the words of the bible thrown in.
Thank you for sharing your perspective and helping me realise I am not alone.
You are absolutely not alone. I never came out to my church, so I can’t imagine how hard that was, but I left my church for similar reasons.
I’m so sorry they did that to you and prioritizing yourself was the right decision. It’s hard to lose a community or support system, I’m proud of you and your bravery.
Hoping you have or find a community and support system who accepts you as you are.
You are amazing and absolutely perfect just the way you are ❤
❤❤❤
It's so ironic how these types of people are claiming that feminists are “man-haters” while, at the same time, they're also promoting so many genuinely harmful beliefs about men
It's crazy, there were so many times I thought to myself "wow they're actual misandrists" while watching this video
I wouldn't be surprised if one day Morgan murders or attempts to murder Paul in his sleep.
This whole video is peak leopards-ate-my-face.
Bethany has advocated so hard for zero sex ed, zero knowledge, zero even *thinking* of sex...
And now she's married and all shocked "wHy DoN't I kNoW aNyThInG???"
YOU YOURSELF SAID WE SHOULDN'T KNOW. AND NOW YOU'RE UPSET YOU DON'T KNOW.
Who would've thunk that you need research
As a Jew, it is so funny to hear these Christian influencers rambling about Hebrew words (he YADAAS me)
The word she’s talking about (ladaat) literally just means “to know” as in God knows me, it’s not really special 🤔 like just the other day in Israel I used it (ani lo yodaat) when talking about how I didn’t know where a building was
I knew that from my minimal study of Hebrew
But did you raise your hands and exclaim YAHDAAAAAH? I think that part is important 😂
@@alisaurus4224ngl that just make me think of a white arse poorly mispronouncing Mandarin Chinese while raising their hands like they're worshipping... Something 😅
That and adding English verb endings to an already conjugated Hebrew verb. I didn't know whether to laugh or twitch in annoyance
Purity culture ruined decades of that older couple’s marriage. I’ve been married since ’94, and there was plenty of good information out there pre-internet in books, magazines and even on TV. Not to mention that secular people can have honest conversations about sex with their friends. Or just have lots of sex. Fundie life sounds scary as hell. Bethy is putting a band aid on a problem that she is complicit in propagating.
And charging $100+ for that bandaid
Right, it’s so horrifying and sad. This is why I’m so glad to be ‘secular’, experienced with sex, and have it with a partner to determine compatibility before marrying them.
Yep! My parents were very open about sex education with me, they were never shameful towards it and my sex life and partners and friends can all have open discussions and help each other. It's great!
We were just getting there in the 70s and then there was the backlash with the Moral Majority in the 80s turning back the clock.
There's a point during the infertility session where Bethany talks about her mom 'cranking' out 8 kids. My mom had 5 kids, but I didn't know she had had any miscarriages or other problems until after my wife had a miscarriage. I would be shocked if Bethany's mom never had a miscarriage, it is far more common than anyone thinks.
She might not have told it to Bethy if she had one.
My mom had 6 kids in 14 years with no miscarriages or complications, no drugs & the last 4 at home… and then i, her only daughter, assuming it would be just as easy for me, had a stillbirth and a few miscarriages followed by uterine cancer & a hysterectomy. Family history doesn’t necessarily mean very much for fertility (besides genetic conditions like endometriosis).
I would find it very believable that her family just didn’t talk about sex even regarding childbirth. Ignorance is key to raising good fundie kids
They are far more incredibly common, while not all are known pregnancies', between 10-20% of all pregencies end in miscarriage. While they can come with a lot of emotional and physical trauma due to a number of different reasons, and that is completely valid, they are very common.
My mom had 8 kids in 15 years with no miscarriages, yet almost all the other women in her family had miscarriages and most of them weren't able to have more than two or three kids, even though some of her sister's did wish for a large family
@@alisaurus4224That is so, so awful. I'm so sorry for all that pain you went through. I hope you're doing well 💜
Rachel, I really appreciate your decision to not enter the Facebook group and spy/snark/use real (non-public) women’s experiences as discussion points! Really shows how ethical and empathetic you are. Amazing video as always
"Why is there so much awkwardness surrounding talking about sex?" Is the verbal equivalent of that Eric Andre meme where he sh**ts Hannibal and then turns around and says "Who did this?"
"Is it worth $169?" I'm gonna take a shot in the dark and say "Hell-To-The-No!"
Please don't mention the 'h' word.
Maybe we could say Heck to The No? 😉😁
@@TheWalkingWrinkleamen I love you Jesus
@@TheWalkingWrinkle Don't you ruin this!
weird that her normal videos are higher quality than the payed course she's selling. 😀
I bet her husband just flat out refused to help her with this after she publically shamed him.
Yes! This makes absolutely no sense.
Paid* 😢
I had the same feeling. Then I realized that her normal videos are probably done with a crew, and she felt like she couldn't have any men, strangers, or family in the room with her when she talked about this. And she probably doesn't know much about editing, and didn't want anyone she knew to edit it, so she did it herself.
The gender bias in research is just so entrenched. I work in a bioengineering lab. Some of the other phd students thought we should work exclusively on male rats because they thought female rats have a monthly cycle and they need accurate measurements week to week. A rat’s menstrual cycle is a few days long. They would rather exclude females from all of their research than do one Google search to learn anything about female biology.
Also tbh even if it would be as radically different as they though, to me that only makes it even more important to get research on? Everything has been abt men. If they think that it’s only MORE reason to study it, that’s such an unscientific perspective
It's kinda funny, that Rachel gives more detailed information and tipps around sex in her commentary than they seem to give in that whole course.
Yes watching her analysis actually makes a nice tiny course. =) Thanks, Rachel!
I hope the women who bought this garbage are "guided by God" to this video.
"invite god into your sex life" is a direct quote from sex positive christian brenda davies, AKA god is grey. bethany publicly badmouthed brenda in a venue in which she couldnt defend herself, calling her faith into question, and now she took a quote that brenda said in her free youtube video and charged people $170 for it. shameful.
I don't believe Bethany actually changed her believes. For that, she still promotes them too much. she just realised it's not popular to say those things with a straight face, so she's appropriating feminist talking points to try and twist them to somehow fit her religious ideology.
No, she and the others like her NEVER abandon their beliefs, they simply find another way to phrase things to hide their contempt for Science, Actual Health Information, and other areas that they choose to turn a blind eye to.
To be fair, changing your beliefs doesn't happen all at once. It can and usually does take years especially if you grew up in a certain culture where such beliefs were harshly enforced.
@@4thDan smh. never say never.
@@puffball4484 exactly.
i kind of agree but i also think that she had problems around sex because of her religious trauma. so even if the majority of her belies didn't change I think she is noticing problems around her views on sex.
Why haven't we as a society shortened "sex expert" to "sexpert"?
That will be a glorious day
Samantha called Carrie a sexpert in season 2 of SATC
We haven't?
I hear Travis McElroy is one of those, but if there’s a degree on his wall, I haven’t seen it.
I thought we had
I grew up fundamentalist (thankfully ex-fundie now), and Bethany's book and teachings hurt me. The purity culture that she perpetuated really hurt me when I was younger, and it is so infuriating for me now see her acting like she is an innocent victim in all this.
I’m of the “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” purity culture generation. I have so much respect for Joshua Harris not just personally leaving the faith, but publicly apologizing for the harmful culture his book supported.
Despite acknowledging the damage purity culture did in their own lives, I don’t expect Bethy or Kristin to ever apologize for Girl Defined’s part in it, but maybe they’ll surprise me
I'm a linguist and when at min 3:06:00 they said: give ur body parts and ur position a nice nickname. I was immediately: no darlin that's awful advice, and i'll explain why.
Basically you put a barrier between you and what you're talkinf about. By not using the word in your native laguage for it, you're distancing yourself from the topic and that's not useful if your goal is to get more in contact with that topic.
in addition, as a social worker, with kids around that is quite possibly the worst idea. kids will pick up on nicknames and in the case of pain or sa, people outside the home such as doctors, teachers, or other adults wont know what a "dinky" or a "muffin" is to get them the help they need (yes those are real nicknames ive heard)
I was BAFFLED at the bit about it supposedly being (physiologically) harder for women to orgasm at a young age! Pardon the TMI but when I started "self-stimulating" as a ragingly hormonal pubescent girl, probably age 10 or 11, I immediately found it extremely easy. I even remember thinking at the time "what the hell is everyone talking about when they say it's hard for women to orgasm, this is easy as hell!" and I absolutely experienced very intense sensations and often "finishing" quite quickly - in fact I started deliberately prolonging it (edging, I guess?) because it felt too fast. So I call complete BS on the claim that there's something physiologically different in young women that makes it harder for them to orgasm, it's 100% just a matter of some taking longer to figure out what works for them, whereas I luckily figured it out immediately.
That part was also mindnumbing for me, that made no sense. The amount of stories I have heard on a sexual educational forum from girls experiencing their first orgasm due to a cuddly toy with a hard nose that they rode, or whatever was absolutely astonishing.
(The experiences of some girls experiencing their first orgasm riding on their dad's knee and being confused when their dad knew what had happened and teaching them that some things are done in a more private setting, and "if you want to do that again, you can go to your room to not confront other people with it" and the stories of the girls involved being deeply confused on why they had to take their dad to their room, not yet realizing what really happened at times was pretty hilarious to read, though it did show well how much more of an obscured life the female reproductive organs tend to have which makes it less apparent for girls what it is that they do compared to boys, even though those types of orgasms experienced are typically less common in boys, because of well anatomy).
And yes, prolonging the actual orgasm from happening is commonly referred to as edging or "delaying it".
Personally, I think most of the disparity seen in statistics about men and women reaching orgasm next to shame about the female genitalia being very much a thing girls probably get from a young age on during their upbringing, it's also bad sexual education about the female genitalia.
While it might have been me shutting down because it was a very distant thing for me as someone not yet in puberty or not connecting with some of the stuff mentioned (as someone undiagnosed with gender dysphoria), I can still not recall sexual education ever mentioning the female orgasm as a result of masturbation, but it did with the male orgasm...
Along with the much less externally visible and easily stimulated reproductive organs I feel that this is a big part of the disparity that causes women to reach orgasm a lot less easy or in general a lot less...
I mean, that would've been a take, but to hear that whole thing about "how when you are younger it's more difficult" was mindblowing...
@@Dutch3DMaster Yeah, I'm thinking that a lot of it has to do with the world being very male-focused in regards to sex so often it's taught (whether formally or through casual conversations) from the male perspective of "putting penis in vagina feels good" and obviously that's insufficient for most women. Luckily my country is pretty good when it comes to sex ed, but there is still more we could do. It's not physically harder for women to feel pleasure or get orgasms, it just requires different things than men's pleasure and orgasms, so when sex is male-focused it's obviously going to not work out very well for women - and this does extend to masturbation too, when women/girls only learn that it's supposed to be one certain way.
Girls feeling ashamed and told to feel ashamed I think is the main issue
Dang I'm not sure, it's really hard for me personally but I think it might be easier hopefully for others?? My main issues are probably psychological tho tbh I'm kinda with you that there isn't some huge physiological difference. Different equipment, sure but I don't think there's some biological gap built in between sexes
@@alim.9801considering how the clitoris is technically analogous to the actual penis, well...
Something I think is often left out of the lube conversation is ALLERGENS! I’m allergic to a lot of lubes, and it’s super important to talk to your partner(s) before you use a new product.
And that lube can expire after a period of time which can lead to it becoming irritating! I didn't know that until last week
Good advice! While we are here, you have to use a lube compatible to condoms if you use both. If not, it degrades the condom and decreases their efficiency. It can also trigger a vaginal yeast infection (from my experience, not fun).
Absolutely!!! I have had same issues! Also, allergies to different types of condoms (I know these guys are probably scared to mention any sort of birth control)
@@Axolotls677 oh no I didn't know it could expire!! This is good info to know omg
@@polatouche7221 YES THANK YOU!! Esp for the point about degrading the condom, that could be so dangerous
Them describing the clit, orgasm and penis it honestly sounded like a smuty romance novel trying to to get it's quota of euphemisms. It takes me back to one of my sex ed classes back in school where I had a male teacher couldn't say penis and every one of the students were like if you have one you should be able to say penis...
Seriously. If you can't describe parts of your own body without shame, how are you gonna gonna try to teach a bunch of kids
How the hell can someone like that be a biology teacher....
Or, ehm, was it a biology teacher? It usually is in The Netherlands and it's basically part of regular biology lessons so it's someone you know because you've had lessons from before (and I have understood this isn't always the case in other countries)
@@thepassingstatic6268imagine that person trying to explain an embarrassing issue their pet dog has with his sheathe or something to a vet... 😅
Like the king of the hill episode where Peggy has to teach sex ed and cannot say penis, so she says happiness, hap penis. 😂
I’m gonna be honest before I figured out I was a lesbian I also thought that it was normal not to be interested in seeing your partner experience pleasure. It kind of grossed me out honestly. Now, having sex with women I can honestly say I care about enjoy seeing my partner experience pleasure. I’m not AT ALL saying Bethany is queer, I don’t think she is, but I am saying it’s amazing how many things she says about sex are things that I used to think and feel 😂
Lol as a bi woman who has awesome sex with a male partner who I love deeply, I can honestly say that I work a lot harder in pleasuring women and I get MUCH more pleasure from watching women experience sexual gratification than I do with men. When I’m with a dude, I have to work to swallow a laugh :/
lmao🤣
@@advisorywarningrelatable content
@@advisorywarningthis comment isn't it.
That is such a great point about Bethie not having received formal public education and knowing how to structure learning!
I also think anytime she is 'talking in hypothetical' it is just her talking about herself. Lol I don't think she knows how to conceptualize how anyone else is actually living on this planet outside of her family.
Something I've noticed about a lot of homeschooled people I know is how hard it is for them to understand that other people aren't just like them or how they were told by their parents people are like.
@@hoykfnvnnesnxnnensncjforkx1616definitely if they weren't socialized. I notice that religious honeschoolers don't socialize their children with people who aren't exactly like them so the kids have no clue. 😭
This made me cry. Thank you. I feel so heard right now and like I own my own body. Thank you for leaving links and talking about this. seriously having someone tell me I don’t have to submit to whatever because I’m a wife and it’s my duty is helping me be able to say no. I have watched this many times now to help what you are saying really sink in. Thank you Rachel.
The guy who invented cornflakes to stop masturbation also wrote a huge book on "proper" sex life while he was a bachelor. Somehow, he found a whole 'nother volume of material while on his honeymoon....
I believe he and and his wife never consummated the marriage.
If I write big books, they will never suspect I can’t work my small pecker.
And he was a HUGE supporter of circumcision saying circumcision would stop masterbation
Wow. She charges people to listen to someone saying nothing and then advertise their own stuff.
@@gratefulmomma4207 that is so fcking awful
“Surrendering your orgasm is like playing the violin…”
Me: there’s fingering involved?
“It takes practice.”
Me: That’s not nearly as funny.
It’s in the bowing technique-must be properly rosined and strokes should be smooth
@@alisaurus4224hot 🥵😉😆
@@alisaurus4224 best comment ever 😂
🤣🤣🤣
Ahaha 😂
I'M SORRY THEY DID WHAT TO THEIR INFANT DAUGHTER INSTEAD OF LOOKING UP AN ANATOMY BOOK????? EXCUSE ME????
IKR!!! I'm still stuck on that, literally can't get over how anyone thought that would be okay to do or even say 😭✋
"Tell them things specifically like what kind of lubrication to use."
After her raw meat story, I'm pretty sure Bethany has no idea what that is.
She mentions lube and specifically recommends it 3:39:17
"Is Bethany aware of...?" The answer to that question is almost always no.
Wow, Bethany doesn't get off to a great start. "Thanks for paying me lots of money. I'm not going to write scripts, do multiple takes, or edit the videos. Sometimes my baby will interrupt. You won't like some of the experts I've chosen. And you'll still have a lot of questions at the end!"
“Hehe my baby is adorable & i won’t edit her noises out because this is just a coffee shop chat!” 😊
COFFEE SHOP CHATS AREN’T $169, BETHY
@@alisaurus4224 buying yourself a fucking coffee made from beans digested by a damn civet or elephant doesn't even cost that much either!
I'm a Jew and the whole Yadah bit made me just incredibly uncomfortable. I really, really don't like it when Evangelical Christians start trying to use Hebrew. They never pronounce it right, and the fact she put an -s on the end to make it a verb??? Eughhh.
I think they somehow feel it gives them more legitimacy if they bring up the “original Hebrew words”. I always found it very cringey that these non-linguist pastors (who also did not know the language at all) were lecturing on the meaning of Hebrew phrases…
same, i couldnt sit through it and skipped that part. i felt so much nausea from her using hebrew. its a special language to me and i associate it with very wholesome family situations so her using it was so weird… also no one speaks hebrew and applies english tenses like that. it’s strange and sounds so disjointed.
@@8114梦见 1000% correct on the legitimacy angle. I took some exegesis & hermeneutics courses in college, and you basically look up a central word from your Bible verse in Hebrew/Aramaic and extrapolate from there.
Some students go on to study the whole language in their degree, but dictionary translation without any knowledge of conjugation, grammar, idiom etc was seen as plenty to go on with (same for Greek when your verse is in the New Testament).
in that case i am glad she mispronouned funny and did not aproviate it?! Not jewish thou, if its like people misproounving german, it must be incredibly annoying.
ok agree disrespectful. and i know german isnt that personal but i gt the annoyance.
It’s true. They sound ridiculous. Which is weird, considering they never quote the original Greek in the New Testsment.
I‘m really excited for this one. I just found your channel through your Colleen Ballinger video and you were since able to make me a fan of poetry and poetry analysis and a more informed feminist!
The fact that I’m a medical student who has just completed pharmacology course and never heard of the gender bias issue in research is just… heart-wrenching. They didn’t even mention the fact that menstrual cycle affects drugs effectiveness. NOT ONCE.
Fucking tragic.
Hopefully now that you know, you can spread the word in your classes and demand to see better studies.
I keep finding out all kinds of fucked up shit like this, which gives me a little more empathy for the decades of medical gaslighting I endured... But also gives me a sense of just how deep these problems really are.
What? That's crazy. I'm a med student in Italy and we had a separate compulsory lesson of 3 hours about gender bias in medicine. And a few of our professors mentioned it and talked about it in class.
Most medical professions require the person to do further research on their own time it's sad because the schooling is so expensive.
@@francescasciandra2136 One LESSON, a couple of mentions. Doesn't seem unlikely that Rebecca also might get three hours about gender bias as she progresses in obtaining her degree. But this should just be common knowledge, a thread we are made aware of from day one of any kin of medical education.
(Sono Italiana anch'io e cmq lo so che le scuole Italiane sono tendenzialmente migliori, eh?)
@@glenn_desert_witch diciamo che ci danno talmente tante informazioni in eccesso e inutili che ogni tanto anche qualche info utile ce la danno ahahahaah
MAJOR PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:
If you are taking any herbs or supplements, tell that to your PSYCHIATRIST or PRIMARY CARE DOCTOR or anyone else who is prescribing you medication. Certain ones can very badly interact with prescribed medication and they are almost never regulated by the FDA.
(Only edited comment for clarity and to include multiple types of doctors. The importance is the same)
BIG YES. Furthermore, supplements are almost entirely unregulated, spottily studied, and can vary wildly in actual dose of active ingredient between brands or batches of same brand, even assuming there aren’t undisclosed ingredients or contaminants. It’s an incredibly sketchy industry with a cover of being ✨NATURAL✨vs. icky Big Pharma “chemicals”. Not to say they’re worthless, but a lot of people think “natural = safe” and go ahead
Omg this all makes me want to screeeeeeeam. "Why are things so bad? How could it ever have gotten to be this way???" Because of people like youuuuuu Bethany oh my godddddd
I, for one, eagerly await The Ultimate Football Course for Secular Woman
1 hour and 49 minutes in and at this point I am just wondering how easy it is to call yourself a "doctor"
Considering the PhD’s available out there from unaccredited universities… in some cases pretty darn easy
@@8114梦见lol one of my professors has a science PhD from an accredited university and still thinks that evolution is fake, being gay is bad because it's "unnatural", porn is sinful and all that stuff. Degrees can't save someone that determined xD
@@diethylmalonateI can attest that this is also true. My mother has a high degree in science, and still holds the views you just mentioned. But as far as calling yourself a PhD, there are plenty of options for people who won’t even go far enough to put in the work haha.
As a woman who weight lifts and works an intensive physical labor job my current doctor essentially said that since I am not my "ideal" weight according to the bmi chart (not waif-like according to cultural norms) that if I just lose 40 lbs my depression and anxiety will be cured. Either that or my anti-depressant or birth control is causing weight gain and I should go off them or change them. Also since I am a woman in my late 20s I will want a baby someday, despite my protests of never wanting kids, and proceeded to tell my the side effects my medications could have on a developing fetus. Needless to say I'm trying to get a new doctor.
Medical misogony is extremely infuriating. I'm sorry your doctor isn't interested in actually helping you as a person.
Sorry this is happening to you. This BMI stuff is so damaging. And we know that, if we do want to care about fat, which I think is often unnecessary, a waist measurement will do a 1000x better job.
I had one doctor ask me “how my husband felt” about my weight. I struggled not to say, “YOU should get laid as often as I do.”
@@queenmotherhane4374 oh I would FIGHT him, that is just beyond
The lady saying men orgasming is like “vanilla ice cream vanilla ice cream vanilla ice cream”, Bethany saying “Ya dah” in increasingly emphatic ways, and the euphemistic ways they skirt around using real terminology for things are all so uncomfortable to watch.
Her type of mindset is awfully harmful, my mother has that same mentality and when I told her my ex bf SA me she said it was normal and basically that it was my fault because "men have needs" and stuff like it was my "duty" to him 🙃 and I don't think they realized just how bad it is, and aside from that I find it kinda funny how a girl with little to no experience on the subject has a paid course, and very expensive if you ask me lol
That's terrible, I'm so sorry you experienced that
I'm so sorry, thats terrible on so many levels.
it’s really insane that this is marketed for, and only for, married women. especially after bethany talked about being clueless the first year of her marriage!
Some churches offer premarital counseling that aims to address some of this, but it’s only offered to couples who are already engaged and usually the sex part will be only a week or two before the actual wedding so there’s less time for “temptation”. It’s like starting driver’s ed by merging onto the highway
@alisaurus4224 I've heard what is taught from someone that is highly religious and it was....still very very very basic (virgin highschool students knew more) and she was terrified to the point of not wanting to get married and the man was freaking out because he didn't even know what anything looked like and didn't understand how non missionary sex worked and thought all the foreplay discussed was gross...it was awful to listen to them discuss it.
@@hoykfnvnnesnxnnensncjforkx1616 there was no formal sex ed at all in my all-religious schools; it was left entirely to the parents. My mom taught me about menstruation and we had books like A Child Is Born that showed the biological side of intercourse & pregnancy, but i had no idea about relationships, boundaries or consent except “say no to everything before marriage.” This left me open to grooming by a trusted adult family friend
Btw, the naturopathic dr lady wasn't talking about "matcha." She said "maca," which is a root that comes from Peru. She definitely should have spelled it out because I don't think many people know what that is😅 so I understand the confusion! I actually found a few studies on its potential properties, but unfortunately it hasn't been researched much. Just wanted to mention it 😊❤️
Thank you! I noticed the same thing.. how can the speaker just expect the listeners to get that? If you don't want to cause (EVEN) more harm, at least provide a transcript or subtitles.. 🙄🙄
1:50:32 is where the "dr" lady talks about it..
So it might or might noot ave use but is way too experimntal to advocate there
The other thing that “married sex only” people forget to recognise is that you can also regret NOT having sex with people other than the one you ultimately marry.
Also, that most sex before you "meet your person" is often not something people regret, unless something serious happens that is very negative/harmful/etc.
Also adults rarely ask how many people you've been with...most don't care....they just want to have safe and consensual sex.
My gf had more partners than me, and i just asked if we could both get tested before we do anything.
It's actually nice having someone more knowledgeable that can help me explore what I like. 😮
I cannot imagine marrying someone without first knowing we were sexually compatible. Most of these people must have the worst sex lives. I truly pity them
@@hoykfnvnnesnxnnensncjforkx1616 my partner and I sound similar to you guys, I've had more partners than him and he feels the same way as you do having someone to learn from 😂
Hope you and your gf are doing good!! :)
Also I definitely agree with your comment, I only regret sex with one partner bc of something had that happened, and I dated quite a bit before meeting my current partner and literally no one cared about my "body count". It's anecdotal but I think you're on the money with how much that problem is exaggerated
@@joelleash8873if healthy sex life is required for producing children, humans will be an endangered species.
@joelleash8873 tbh, i cant imagine marrying someone without knowing if we're sexually compatible OR that they've only ever had sex with me. I'd feel like I'd be taking advantage of them, knowing that they have no point of comparison for compatibility.
"I wish there was mandatory premarital counseling!" Yeah... almost like... sex ed in schools...
Regarding the woman who said that women don't care about the male orgasm, I think you have to consider her audience. If that audience consists of women who experience sex only as a painful duty, their main emotion connected with the male orgasm is probably either relief or resentment and not arousal.
That's so sad.
Please consider pushing your doctors to refer you to a gynaecologist for any menstrual pain that severe (if it's keeping you house bound from pain, it is severe). General doctors can't diagnose gynaecological problems and will continue to disregard your symptoms. It's very likely that if you (anyone who menstruates) experience pain like this you could have endometriosis or other serious reproductive conditions.
Absolutely.
i am no expert but any decet gynaecologist might. yes.
Consent is not relevant to this group of people as course is for married couples, where 'I do' and a ring = permanent consent.
Recently stumbled over the work of a group of women fighting back against purity culture and submission issues in the conservative end of the church. They have solid statistical research behind them, books and podcasts/ blogs yt channel, including calling out the books on marriage and intimacy that are bestsellers in their subculture. Because they are still very much part of that faith culture they have a greater chance of being heard than those outside, even so they get massive backlash
SheilaWrayGregoire Bare Marriage
Just one thing. Hypersexuality isn't high sex drive, it's a disorder
wait did rachael say this or bethany? sorry i watched this sleeepy. i’m assuming bethany
@@annabellesiegel4335rachel
actually hypersexuality itself isn't considered a disorder but more a group of symptoms caused by a larger trauma or disorder, like csbd (compulsive sexual behaviour disorder) which IS a diagnosable disorder, it's like saying trauma flashbacks are a disorder when really they're a symptom associated with many mental illnesses/disorders (i.e. ptsd). i will say that csbd and hypersexuality are sometimes used interchangeably but judging by the fact that hypersexuality itself isn't in the icd (international classification for diseases, where csbd is classified) or the dsm, and the fact that it's used to describe symptoms associated with other disorders (like c-ptsd etc.) and in general is used to describe behaviour both associated and not associated with csbd, hypersexuality itself isn't a disorder. (the symptoms definitely span across more than a high sex drive though, that much is true)
edit: spelling mistakes lol
It's amusing what is considered a disorder and what isn't nowadays.
@@Seraphim4190 yeah... so weird of these scientists and boards of doctors to do their job and identify what's a disorder
I grew up a Fundie and am painfully aware of purity culture - I was made to sign a contract with my father pledging to save myself for my future husband and was given a purity ring to “remind” me - and I sincerely appreciate how thoughtfully you respond to the glaring inaccuracies, as well as recommending resources. You don’t laugh at Bethany (except when needed) and I hope that fundie women find this video and really listen to you. Please keep doing what you are doing!
I could buy a really nice bedroom toy for $169 and that would probably be MUCH more helpful lmao
Edit: spelling
Bethany having Morgan on as a guest to teach about relationships and sex, things that neither of them know ANYTHING about, is just beyond absurd!
(And it's incomprehensible some of the cringe stuff that Paul and Morgan have uploaded; I don't quite suspect that they're satire, but sometimes it's close...)
Asking Morgan for sex advice is like asking a traumatized burn victim how to commit arson...
Have infinitely more empathy for Morgan than Bethy, though.
Morgan had sex with one person before Paul, so she knows a LITTLE more
That Viagra thing rly makes me want to cry. It reminds me of how I had to have a cervical biopsy (which means they cut out some of my cervix to test for cancer) and I was told the pain would be intense, but they refused to give me any type of pain killer. It was one of the worst things ive ever been through.. and they simply dont care. Even at the dentist, they numb you or even knock you out.. so why... do they refuse to give women pain killer?
I’m so sorry you were treated like that. I had pain pills and numbing shots in the cervix (which also weren’t fun) for my uterine biopsy and i still almost couldn’t let them finish. 💙💜💚
Rachel teaching more in 4 hours than Bethany in the whole course and for free 😅
Rachel is so good!