My mother always told me, “If you feel like you don’t really like someone after you’ve been around them a bit, trust your judgement and don’t let anyone tell you different.” It has rarely led me astray, and has helped me dodge some major bullets.
I’ve been in a similar position to the second guy but reversed and we weren’t on the verge of getting married. Several of my friends thought he was varying levels of toxic. Some were very vocal about it some weren’t. But once we broke up the ones who were less vocal and even one who was were like yah you can do so much better. He was pretty bad. Ironically the two friends who are most staunchly against him now are both guys.
My exs family told her I was toxic because I wouldn't ask for her dad's blessing to date her or go to her dad's to get black out drunk every Friday. So we broke up and a week later she cut them off anyway.
@@williamrodriguez8878 I didn’t like his family. Or rather I liked his mother. She had her toxic traits but was always kind to me and comforted me once when I was crying over something school related. But his dad and brother who I only met once both gave me weird vibes and creeped me out a bit. I’m not sorry to be out of that relationship. Though U I still follow his mom on fb.
17:20 I used to have an ex that would occasionally think out loud about committing superslide. Only trouble for him was that I'd attempted it too 😭😭😭 man couldn't threaten me with my own way out
Two things I will never understand: 1. People of different religious beliefs dating or even getting married. Different views on that is a red flag in my book, it means you won’t agree on some major issues and I have no idea how you make that work. 2. Arranged marriages. I get that it’s a cultural thing in some parts of the world, and we probably have some cultural practices in the West that would be odd or horrific to others, but damn it if arranging a marriage isn’t a crime as far as I’m concerned. At best it’s two people stuck in a relationship against their will who might make it work because it turns out their parents are good matchmakers, but still had their human rights ignored and basically endured abuse with a friendly face on it. At worst it’s just rape with extra steps. I’m not a citizen of a country where arranged marriages are common so it’s not my business, but if I lived somewhere they are you bet your ass I’s be campaigning to make them illegal.
I belong from a country where arranged marriages are the norm and in most families love marriage is frowned upon. Here parents or elders are always right. You have to obey them, bow down to their wishes no matter what. They are basically living their own lives through their children and consider kids as an extension of themselves. So they want a control over everything in their children's lives. I'm glad things are improving bit by bit and younger generations are learning to stand up for themselves but we still have a long way to go. Edit: I'm not saying all arranged marriages are bad. Both have their pros and cons. What I have a problem with is the obsession over it.
The one person whose fiancé says he'll kill himself if OP leaves is clearly manipulative. OP needs to run. It's not there fault if fiancé does anything.
2:09 my brother was in that same situation, she just married him to get into the US, never marry anyone who doesn't have a permanent visa or citizenship. Also never marry anyone who wants an open marriage, because that means they don't want to be married
After watching several “we knew the couple wouldn’t last long” type videos - where people have enough self-awareness to know that they don’t want to get married, but they do it anyway - some of these stories are refreshing. These people can confirm - you CAN back out if you realize marrying this person is a mistake. It also lends some insight into why people do sometimes get married even though they don’t want to - you can have a lot of confusion about why you’re feeling the way you do, and you can’t completely articulate WHY you don’t want to get married if nothing is obviously wrong.
My SO pulled a prank. He got down on one knee, like he was going to propose, and then tied his shoe. He laughed and laughed. A few years later he asked me to marry him. Nope. We've been together 11 years now and I'll never marry him. No amount of asking has changed my mind. Fool me once...
He should leave you. He doesn't deserve a idiot like you. There is no way I'm staying into a relationship for 11 years without marrying the person I'm with.
@@Sammythat_B we love each other. There was a window where I would have married him, but that has passed and I realize I don't have to be married to be happy. I might marry him if I was terminally ill so my estate would pass to him tax free, but other than that...nah.
11:34 tell me you know nothing about psychology without telling me you know nothing about psychology. I guarantee dude (hiRyan33) heard someone in the news media say the word "projecting" with regards to something political then looked up what it meant, and now he thinks he's a Psychiatrist. That being said, if your significant other is constantly accusing you of cheating (especially if you aren't cheating), yes it merits a follow up. This doesn't apply to ALL human behavior however, but cheating and SOMETIMES politics, yes.
Greencard story: i know a guy in that situation. He wanted to be committed to her, have a mono relationship, kids and so on. She played into that for awhile before getting pregnant then saying she wanted to be a SAHM who doesn't cook, clean, and barely watches the kids, oh and screw the mono stuff she was gonna screw around with or without his knowledge but he better not mess around on her. And when he dared try to divorce her she threatened to report him and have him deported. Eventually they separated but stayed married with her living states away with the kids (who may or may not be his) and her new slew of boyfriends and he got himself a girlfriend. Was weird as hell. My family introduced me to them, wife instantly dumped her baby and youngest on me to go talk and watch TV. Then my family was subtly hinting at us hooking up once he realized we were the same age. Really nice guy. Everyone really wanted to get him away from her.
For those of these which drugs are involved and or/cheating. I’m not discrediting the feelings of those who were cheated on, but I do think it’s important to remember the day and age were in and that monogamy isn’t necessarily assumed in relationships anymore. Whether or not you want to be in an open or closed relationship and or marriage should be a discussion you have before you get into a serious one. And if the other person’s wishes do conflict with yours than break it off before it goes to far. Some people are happy in open marriages/relationships some aren’t, but being willing to be honest goes a long way.
Polyamory is uncommon enough in Western society that monogamy is the assumed default. No one should have to double check that their partner will be faithful
My rule of thumb is: if they tell you they will kill themselves, they're not gonna do it. The vast majority of suicides happen because people around a victim fail to see the signs and the cries for help, a suicidal person would rarely admit that they are about to do it, unless they are protected by anonymity.
Yeah, I've never been in a relationship. I know it's not me. I'm exactly a catch but I also don't want to end up like my parents. I also think this love thing is kind of a con because it makes people chase after an ideal of a person when it turns out they're aholes. I'm much happier being single. I'm already a failure to society anyway.
And my mother, a recovering alcoholic who was emotionally abusive and neglectful my entire life, telling me I was failure as a woman for not going out like so-and-so's daughter who has a car and a house and a husband and a phd and kids, wonders why I never wanted to get married when she only had me to keep my dad and play happy families. They were on and off for ten years before I came along. He "didn't want to be a dad at the time" at age 40 and was a serial dater, before during and after my mother. Also he didn't want to get married, mum did because "she loved him and wanted to make it work." And mum wonders why my asexual ass has never been in a relationship and never wants to give her grandkids. I never understood why marriage was so important at age 5, let alone now. Also, I'm not attractive physically or otherwise, I'm a boring introverted nerd who still lives at home. Single for life. 😎
5:00 "kicked him out and still hat the party" this is the kinda person I wanna be when I grow up
My mother always told me, “If you feel like you don’t really like someone after you’ve been around them a bit, trust your judgement and don’t let anyone tell you different.” It has rarely led me astray, and has helped me dodge some major bullets.
Very good advice
I’ve been in a similar position to the second guy but reversed and we weren’t on the verge of getting married. Several of my friends thought he was varying levels of toxic. Some were very vocal about it some weren’t. But once we broke up the ones who were less vocal and even one who was were like yah you can do so much better. He was pretty bad. Ironically the two friends who are most staunchly against him now are both guys.
My exs family told her I was toxic because I wouldn't ask for her dad's blessing to date her or go to her dad's to get black out drunk every Friday. So we broke up and a week later she cut them off anyway.
@@williamrodriguez8878 I didn’t like his family. Or rather I liked his mother. She had her toxic traits but was always kind to me and comforted me once when I was crying over something school related. But his dad and brother who I only met once both gave me weird vibes and creeped me out a bit. I’m not sorry to be out of that relationship. Though U I still follow his mom on fb.
17:20 I used to have an ex that would occasionally think out loud about committing superslide. Only trouble for him was that I'd attempted it too 😭😭😭 man couldn't threaten me with my own way out
13:22 I chuckled too, this was funny
13:21 is so wholesome lmao
Two things I will never understand:
1. People of different religious beliefs dating or even getting married. Different views on that is a red flag in my book, it means you won’t agree on some major issues and I have no idea how you make that work.
2. Arranged marriages. I get that it’s a cultural thing in some parts of the world, and we probably have some cultural practices in the West that would be odd or horrific to others, but damn it if arranging a marriage isn’t a crime as far as I’m concerned. At best it’s two people stuck in a relationship against their will who might make it work because it turns out their parents are good matchmakers, but still had their human rights ignored and basically endured abuse with a friendly face on it. At worst it’s just rape with extra steps. I’m not a citizen of a country where arranged marriages are common so it’s not my business, but if I lived somewhere they are you bet your ass I’s be campaigning to make them illegal.
I belong from a country where arranged marriages are the norm and in most families love marriage is frowned upon. Here parents or elders are always right. You have to obey them, bow down to their wishes no matter what. They are basically living their own lives through their children and consider kids as an extension of themselves. So they want a control over everything in their children's lives. I'm glad things are improving bit by bit and younger generations are learning to stand up for themselves but we still have a long way to go.
Edit: I'm not saying all arranged marriages are bad. Both have their pros and cons. What I have a problem with is the obsession over it.
The one person whose fiancé says he'll kill himself if OP leaves is clearly manipulative. OP needs to run. It's not there fault if fiancé does anything.
For me it was the fact that I met another woman who was a doctor and swore she would give me all the narcotics I wanted if I married her.
I'm sorry that I laughed at this.
@@TheComemnter no it's Ok My fiance was a good, person I'm a piece of crap. My parents wouldn't even talk to me for a little while after that.
@@Bodycountunknown as they should
What a woman
@@Callum_degan she's dead
That guy who ran away to Europe is a ducking coward. I hope he gets what he has coming to him.
2:09 my brother was in that same situation, she just married him to get into the US, never marry anyone who doesn't have a permanent visa or citizenship. Also never marry anyone who wants an open marriage, because that means they don't want to be married
After watching several “we knew the couple wouldn’t last long” type videos - where people have enough self-awareness to know that they don’t want to get married, but they do it anyway - some of these stories are refreshing. These people can confirm - you CAN back out if you realize marrying this person is a mistake.
It also lends some insight into why people do sometimes get married even though they don’t want to - you can have a lot of confusion about why you’re feeling the way you do, and you can’t completely articulate WHY you don’t want to get married if nothing is obviously wrong.
My SO pulled a prank. He got down on one knee, like he was going to propose, and then tied his shoe. He laughed and laughed. A few years later he asked me to marry him. Nope. We've been together 11 years now and I'll never marry him. No amount of asking has changed my mind. Fool me once...
Your SO is a troll
He should leave you. He doesn't deserve a idiot like you. There is no way I'm staying into a relationship for 11 years without marrying the person I'm with.
Then why stay? Not that marriage is the end-all be-all...
@@Sammythat_B we love each other. There was a window where I would have married him, but that has passed and I realize I don't have to be married to be happy. I might marry him if I was terminally ill so my estate would pass to him tax free, but other than that...nah.
@Lana J So, you don't want your estate to pass to him tax free if you were to pass unexpectedly? 🤔
That very first story is a great one to pass down to the kids and grandkids.
11:34 tell me you know nothing about psychology without telling me you know nothing about psychology.
I guarantee dude (hiRyan33) heard someone in the news media say the word "projecting" with regards to something political then looked up what it meant, and now he thinks he's a Psychiatrist.
That being said, if your significant other is constantly accusing you of cheating (especially if you aren't cheating), yes it merits a follow up. This doesn't apply to ALL human behavior however, but cheating and SOMETIMES politics, yes.
13:23 I find it kinda funny that op’s husband commented on her post
Greencard story: i know a guy in that situation. He wanted to be committed to her, have a mono relationship, kids and so on. She played into that for awhile before getting pregnant then saying she wanted to be a SAHM who doesn't cook, clean, and barely watches the kids, oh and screw the mono stuff she was gonna screw around with or without his knowledge but he better not mess around on her. And when he dared try to divorce her she threatened to report him and have him deported.
Eventually they separated but stayed married with her living states away with the kids (who may or may not be his) and her new slew of boyfriends and he got himself a girlfriend.
Was weird as hell. My family introduced me to them, wife instantly dumped her baby and youngest on me to go talk and watch TV. Then my family was subtly hinting at us hooking up once he realized we were the same age. Really nice guy. Everyone really wanted to get him away from her.
For those of these which drugs are involved and or/cheating. I’m not discrediting the feelings of those who were cheated on, but I do think it’s important to remember the day and age were in and that monogamy isn’t necessarily assumed in relationships anymore. Whether or not you want to be in an open or closed relationship and or marriage should be a discussion you have before you get into a serious one. And if the other person’s wishes do conflict with yours than break it off before it goes to far. Some people are happy in open marriages/relationships some aren’t, but being willing to be honest goes a long way.
And honesty is not a thing when cheating is involved so I don't understand the point
Polyamory is uncommon enough in Western society that monogamy is the assumed default. No one should have to double check that their partner will be faithful
If a person is threatening suicide if you want to leave, get a life insurance policy for them and list yourself as a beneficiary 😉
😆
Depending on the insurance and what kind of clause they have, the person will not receive the payment for some time.
2:28 why did you need two days to decide not to get married? I would have dumped him that day
17:10 guessing the reason the first guy wasn't into it was the new signature thing.
My rule of thumb is: if they tell you they will kill themselves, they're not gonna do it.
The vast majority of suicides happen because people around a victim fail to see the signs and the cries for help, a suicidal person would rarely admit that they are about to do it, unless they are protected by anonymity.
I honestly feel like im never gonna get a first date so to anyone who has made it marriage or even talked about it congratulations?
That really sucks, I feel for you. Stay strong and work on loving yourself first
Yeah, I've never been in a relationship. I know it's not me. I'm exactly a catch but I also don't want to end up like my parents. I also think this love thing is kind of a con because it makes people chase after an ideal of a person when it turns out they're aholes. I'm much happier being single. I'm already a failure to society anyway.
Ah yes this shall be interesting
18:42, that guy just doesn't love her
I didnt have to outrun the bomb I just had to outrun the bride ,bmm tummy dss
This is why I think marriage can be overrated
Some of these are truly awful.
And my mother, a recovering alcoholic who was emotionally abusive and neglectful my entire life, telling me I was failure as a woman for not going out like so-and-so's daughter who has a car and a house and a husband and a phd and kids, wonders why I never wanted to get married when she only had me to keep my dad and play happy families. They were on and off for ten years before I came along. He "didn't want to be a dad at the time" at age 40 and was a serial dater, before during and after my mother. Also he didn't want to get married, mum did because "she loved him and wanted to make it work." And mum wonders why my asexual ass has never been in a relationship and never wants to give her grandkids. I never understood why marriage was so important at age 5, let alone now. Also, I'm not attractive physically or otherwise, I'm a boring introverted nerd who still lives at home. Single for life. 😎
Let the mayhem begin
24:37 ObJecTiOn heArSAy
That’s danger not attraction. Look closer
BLACKMAIL!
first comment
22:53 my man's heccin gay cx
💀💀💀
Marriage is an issue period by Steve Irungu Jermaine
The one at the 8 minute mark was so selfish for no reason. A real man would never humiliate a woman on her wedding day like that. Abusive af.
RRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Can I get that in English please?
@@dolfinyeti561 Licky on da pee
@@dolfinyeti561 farts to the max
@@bananapee86 I respect that answer so much more than the first one 😎
@@dolfinyeti561 DONT MESS WITH THE GINA’S