Hey Steve: The Pressure to Be Parents || STEVE HARVEY
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- Опубліковано 5 лют 2025
- This couple just got married and now everyone’s asking about starting a family. How can they get everyone to back off?
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Everything changes when you have children. Have them when you are ready. Trust grandma on this one.
yes
I didn't have a child until 34 years of age. I kept getting comments like "Is something wrong with you?", "Why did you wait so long?", "Can you even have kids?", etc...Prior to that time, I went away to school, paid back my student loans, worked & traveled most of the World. Now my only child is 22 years of age & I'm still young enough to get my groove back. His Father & I parted ways a decade ago. He's started a new family including having a child that's the same age as our child( I didn't know) BTW, my child doesn't have any children yet either. What's the rush?!!!
@SARA Heeyyyy, for real tho!!!😁😁😁🍸🍹
good u waited
Thank you! There's women with 4 kids & 4 diff baby daddies, none involved w their kids, asking me when I will have kids of my own!! Wth
I'm a 37 year old male who just became a first time father to a 1 month old boy with my fiancé/lobe of my life!
Coming from a Nigerian family and being the first born son, I was hounded about having kids as early as 18🤦🏿♂️. All that stopped when they asked again and I replied " If y'all can handle paying child support for me, sure!!" Questions stopped lol
This!!! Can I message you?
You started a family when you got married. You can choose when to add to your family. Tell them that!
I went through those same things . Now that we've been married 11yrs I'm finally pregnant with our first . I will not tell my family until the second trimester . Because my husband and I are truck drivers (owner operators) ; it's easy to stay away , and hide my body . I'm on pins and needles in phone conversations , because I almost spill it every time . Now that we own a business , we feel we make enough to be parents now. My family never understood the fact that , we didn't want our child to be a burden ; but to be a welcomed blessing . Stability is the only way to ensure a happy , healthy family .
@@coppercoloredcutiexoxo2315 good for you. Best of luck with the baby. 🤰🏽🤱🏽😊
👍👍👍
Good answer 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Yes like playing the sims
I love that they decided to wait to have children. Don't allow anyone to pressure you and tell them "I'll have children now as long as you're willing to take care of them". That will shut them up real quick. The nerve!
I tried that once and my mom told me to give her my first one and I can keep the rest .
@@coppercoloredcutiexoxo2315 🤣 your mom is a different story lol
exactly. its really easy to come up with witty comebacks that will shut people up.
Ms. Perfectly Imperfect facts lol
What a gorgeous couple!
Thank you!
I agree
Inside and out! 🔥🔥🔥🔥
I Stan that’s my godparents
Yes they are.. I hate them 😂
Children should be planed and wanted
yes
Why don't you tell that to God, Mary pregnancy wasn't planned, Jesus was born out of the wedlock
@@merinormercier14 I believe she was told before hand by angels. God needed a women who was pure, a virgin. Most married women were not virgins. So I guess in a way it was planned cause Mary was expecting a child.
@@jeffreyrubio9888
Yeah! you said it "you believe" so it's not accurate, just your "belief"
Silly Christian!
@@jeffreyrubio9888
an angel out of the blue appeared to her, told her she's gonna have a baby, not by her fiancée, Joseph! and you call that planning????? Do you know the meaning of the verb "to plan"?
And for the sake of science, of common sense, of sanity!!!!!! A SPIRIT CANNOT IMPREGNATE A WOMAN!!!!!! THANK YOU
Marriage is intense especially in the beginning years. I think it’s very good that they are waiting and have a plan because children can be added stress to a marriage.
absolutely Mrs. Young..my sister has 4..3 boys 1 girl...
Children are what marriage is designed for. What's the point of getting married if you're just cohabitating as a man and a woman? May as well just stay unmarried.
That's awesome to see a couple like this still exist. Their both in love, patient and enjoying each others company before rushing into the parent chapter. I absolutely applaud them for having a plan. ❤
"ain't none of your damn business" applies to so many scenarios. best answer to anyone that is nosy or wants to impose their will on you
Steve that was some wonderful advice to tell them. You kept it real 💯
Girl let no one pressure you to start a family if your not ready because the workload is not easy speaking from experience mom of four kids.
It’s your life. Ignore them. They are Rude. Telling them to stop being so Rude
It’s extremely intrusive when people keep asking when you’re starting a family. Some people don’t want children (that’s okay), then there are others that struggle trying to conceive. People need to think before they speak.
They need to mind their own business. Ignore those nosy people. Enjoy each other. God bless you both.
Smart couple, they are making sure that the marriage will work first, they are spending quality time together alone to strengthen their bond for the future hard times and making good memories, they are enjoying life together first, and probably working hard to set a solid foundation for the kids before they have them. What kind of ignorant friends and family do they have, who dont see the logic in their decision?
Exactly. Just because it's possible to make something work on the fly doesn't mean you have to or should. Other than crime, why is planning ahead and thinking things through being treated like a BAD thing? Most people are so used to doing things just because they can or it's normal around them that they become so offended at the idea of someone going against the status quo- even when they'd be preaching the same thing otherwise. You ever notice how hypocritical a lot of societies are? People are shamed for having unplanned kids they aren't prepared for AND shamed for waiting to plan their kids- like what in the world? People are shamed for having houses and cars they can't afford AND shamed for having no houses or cars. Most people need to get it together.
Make sure the marriage will work first? Yall and this happiness notion kills me. Marriage ain't about love and happiness, it's about family. You get married because you want to start a family and you make it work once you create the family (and no, a husband and wife with no kids does not a family make). The family members understand what marriage and family is about which is why they're asking them why they got married when they aren't having children.
That's good planning. Take the time to njoy and love on each other. I had my first child in high school. I did marry my kids mother. We went on to have a second child. But we never njoyed each other or our young life. We divorced 12yrs later. I don't regret my 2 beautiful babies or the marriage. But I do regret the timing. Njoy each other. Best wishes!!
Applause to this couple !!!!!! ❤❤
I wish more people were thoughtful about having children
Im almost 24. My plan was to be married at 24 and be a mommy by 25 lol. Its expensive to live in NY. In student debt. All that to consider. Aint nothing popping out of this for a while.
Damn right, don't change your mind. Beautiful couple
That pressure never stops, as soon as you have one baby everybody asks when is the next one. People need to back off young couples because if they are not ready for kids then it's their decision. It's their life that's going to change not everybody elses. I respect couples that decide to have kids on their own time.
I just KNEW what Steve was going to say. lolol
Juanita Michelle it’s a good idea though! I like it.
It’s jealousy, they know once you have kids, your life will stop too. They’re tired of seeing your posts on social media being free while they’re cleaning up snot. I’m 27 now and I’m waiting till 30 minimum to start with my husband , everybody keeps asking n I don’t give a damn.
You go queen👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 facts like leave childless ppl alone kids are a lot of work did everyone forget that
Ignore everybody. Start a family when you ready
My answer is. " Oh not right now were eating Dinner" Oh not right now were going to the show" " Oh not right now I'm having tea" Shuts them right up.
Vicki Sears this is hilarious! I definitely will use this last time!
His fade tho!!
Beautiful couple!! Hey I don’t even want kids at all, society has to become comfortable with that!
I have 7 kids ent plan to have non of dem😄😁
You choose we YOU are ready to start your family. I would tell everyone of my family and friends who were constantly asking me this question to mind their business or whenever the Lord places in my heart and mind to start one and not until then.
I applaud them for having a plan and for sticking to that plan, maybe I will adopt the same plan when I get married.
way better than Dr. Phil
Tell them that you are taking time to get to know and enjoy each other before the children come. Congratulations to you for taking time. You are definitely doing the right thing.
And to those who are asking these very personal questions, think of the fact that some people are not able to have children and may not want to share that with you!
As a middle Eastern, this is typically in my society ,as a woman people keep asking when I get married, after marriage they ask are you pregnant?? So frustrating
Not everyone needs to be a parent, some people end up resenting their kids.
Exactly ☝
That’s what I’m afraid I’ll do. I’m married and we both want children but not right now
Why get married then if you don't plan on starting a family? There's no point.
I don’t have any kids but I’ve told friends (who do have children) that were pressured by outsiders on when they were going to have kids, to tell them that it takes a VILLAGE to raise a child. Sooooo what days are they available to babysit lmao
Suddenly the pressure went away lmao
As another person said, you started a family already when you got married. Nothing is wrong with forgoing children or waiting to have children in marriage. You're allowed to be happy and live your marriage this way. There is also absolutely nothing wrong with planning additions to your family. It makes the process smoother for the expecting family and tends to set a simpler path for the journey through parenthood. Long story short, being prepared is a great thing. People really have to learn how to mind their business and stop trying to live through or project their own mindsets onto others, especially when it comes to very sensitive and personal subjects like this.
Let this wonderful couple love and enjoy each other how they please. There can be many reasons why they don't have kids yet that are very private, and minding your own business works for all of them. These people need to accept that they don't get to decide how these two honor their marriage. These same people are the ones who should be spreading positive, nourishing, and supportive energy to their union from the outside- not adding negativity and manipulation to it. They will be alright, but that doesn't make it okay. Luckily they have each other in this moment and they're strong together. I wish them all the best of wishes for every year to come.
A married couple with no children is not a family. You can even look up the definition if you're unsure. Children are an integral part to a family unit.
People need to stop pressuring people.. What if they been trying and every time you ask it hurts her?? People need to just mind their own ..
Steve look sooooo good in that suit
this couple is FINEEEEE Go yall!
I agree with what the couple decided to do and what Steve told them. Thumbs up to them!!!
Enjoy your spouse 💜
How refreshing is this couple? VERY!!!!
5 years was also me and my husbands plan and we are well into year two so we get this question alot and i tell them focus on yourself cuz people dont respect your goals
Seen this one today think it's good idea to wait have kids and enjoy each other that way u be prepared when the time comes.
This video came just when I needed it
Plain and simple answer we’re not ready yet 🤷🏽♀️
I also waited 5 year before my first child. Nothing wrong with that we had good plan.
Gorgeous couple and nice suit on Steve.
I'm glad they didn't give into the pressure. Smart plan. Also it's very insensitive to ask, a lot of people struggle and would rather not discuss it
Same as Greek family's the are always up on your business specially relatives so don't worry is a cultural thing. Leave your lives and be happy!!
Same! Didn’t plan at all. But love them unconditionally!
Tell THEM to have THEIR OWN kids, that oughta keep them busy for the next 18+ years😂 They'll be too busy wondering if junior needs a new diaper or how to get Letty to do her homework rather than focusing on you guys. And if that doesnt work, gather everybody to a big family dinner and JUST GO OFF. Just one good time, that should help for a few months
🤣🤣🤣
FINALLY people have stopped pressuring me to find a man and get married. I'm like, can HE find me? I may be on an island with this, but I'm still old fashioned in respect to male and female roles. That's my personal preference. But as far as this vid goes, there has been many times where folks have skipped clean over the concept of marriage and pressured me to have a baby. To which I replied, "Can I get married first?"
Omg same here! No kids never been married and folks treat you like you have to do it all in a day!!! All my friends and family my age are married, have kids or both, I have learned to be content in my waiting period and enjoy the time I have now, I had to really help them all understand that this life ain't about them and when God is ready and sends my husband then it will happen, for now I am fine building myself and growing as a saved, educated woman.. But sometimes it makes you crazy!!! Sheesh!!!
@@ajadomonique4423 Fo'sho'!! ❤
@@leeluv96 💕
Oh hon I have had this happen. Even one of my friends told me to have one. I told her I wanted the support. She talked about how her friend got a divorce. She then proceeded to tell me she would help me. I was thinking I do not want that even though there are tons of people that do. Good for you for wanting a committed relationship before children.
@@stephaniestephanie4545, Thank you. For a minute I was beginning to think I had things backwards.
STEVE SO TRUE NONE OF YOU DA** BUSINESS TELL THEM TO GO HAVE SOME CHILDREN
your marriage your business smart beautiful couple
Ive been married for four years and it's the same for us. We just tell them in God's time, cause we are not preventing it, just hasn't happened yet. Let them know " in God's time"! That's it.
PAHAHAH!! That is a really good answer.
I'm a Mom of 5, GM OF 10 GGM 0f 8, gotta set of twins 27 yrs old, married, no kids, their husbands are their parents only child, I found myself telling my daughters that they have to give their in-laws grands, but they to have a plan, their ALL SUCCESSFULLY, and one of the pair recently purchased a home, so I learned to full back and let them do their thing!!! They Gotta Plan!!!
Most children are oops babies. When Wendy Williams said it to NIck Cannon people were up set with her. She did not mean that the child will not be loved.
Yes, but Wendy has proven time and time again to be controversial and run shade directly to her guests with her comments and questions. She knew that Nick Cannon had just moved on from his relationship with his twins mom MC, so that would imply him not wanting anymore so soon. "Oops baby" was not right to describe his unplanned child if indeed it was.
I was an oops baby but also not an oops baby
That’s a hard truth for many! Most people have sex without birth control or condoms and when the woman gets pregnant then it’s “oh well we didn’t plan this child but since I’m pregnant then I’ll just go ahead and take care of it”
I always tell young women...wait to get married. Enjoy your life, get your career going and know YOU! I also tell young married couples...with no children...enjoy each other! Travel, wine and dine, but enjoy your marriage before having kids!
ignore them are tell them to get off. This is our life and no way are we listening to such non-sense. we already plan this and no changing our mind. Now, you all get a life and please get out of our.
Tell them as soon as they sign the free babysitting (day and night) list that you are compiling and contribute to the daycare account. That shut everyone down in my family and friend. Enjoy your special time together.
That’s what most people need to do is plan and wait before they have baby .
All my kids was a what 😂😂😂
Steve...neither of your kids were planned...whenever you heard...am pregnant... huh..what! hahaha Steve love your humor . you make my evenings..love from the UK.
That's exactly why I'm not too close to my family members. I'm good with them, yes. I love them but I'm not gonna give then that ticket to nag me about the way I live my life.
I agree just tell them to mind there business! Keep the plan
that's wonderful, good for them *round of applause*
0:48... When anyone ask you when you having a family. Ask them is the will first of all pray for the child or children first thing every morning soon as their eyes open, and before their feet touches the floor. If they will come to all the doctors appointments, support them in school, be there for ALL their activities. And come over in the a m hours when they wake up for bottles and change their diapers. NONE of them will EVERY answer YES to any of those questions. And if anyone DO Lol 😂 make whoever do, give it to you in writing, sign and notarize. People always want to tell others how to live their lives. And thank God that they both are on the same page. And NOT moved by what others say.
0:55 Steve harvey is like why yall clapping 😂
Damn right keep the plan! Kids are the end of your life!
I love how Steve keep it real and the advice was great
AMEN ❤️, Thank you Steve
all my kids have been a ..."wharrr" 😲
😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I hate when people keep asking annoying invasive questions like this!😡 What if they were trying and had fertility issues? This can be a very painful topic for some couples. Shutup, mind your business and leave people alone!
When they ready! I wouldnt even answer. Start talkn about goin on vacations or paris, europe CONSTANTLY.
Misery loves company. They just envious to childless couple
I don't blame them for wanting to wait... it's their prerogative but at least go to a fertility clinic to get the green light on children for your 5 year plan and to make sure that everything checks off perfectly... wouldn't want any glitches in the way.... just my suggestion... be smart about your choices... I know immediately after me and my future husband get married... we're getting EVERYTHING health related checked to be sure we are CLEARED to start a family.... personally, I was just like them wanted to wait to have children 2 years after I get married so I could enjoy my future husband but that was when I PLANNED (The emphasis on "planned" has nothing to do with this couple just my own personal mistakes I've made in my past) on being married by the time I was 20... but we all know God works on his timing and his timing is perfect and I know in due time.... I will be married in his perfect timing but immediately following my marriage when that timing comes... I am starting my family... I've been waiting to be a mom for a long time... and I know I am going to be so overjoyed when that day happens... I know I'ma be THE MOST annoying FTM (First Time Mom) ever.. waking my baby out his or her nap just to show him or her all this love and affection, hugging him or her so much because I'ma just be a happy mama when that day happens for me... been wanting to be a mommy for a VERY long time... ever since I was a little girl dreaming about my marriage and family growing up... thanks for reading for whomever has read this... children are my life and I know my future children of course my future hubby will be my ENTIRE UNIVERSE... family is EVERYTHING to me... #dearfuturehusband #dearfuturefamily #dearfuturechildren #sorryforthelongexcerpt
I loving this audience they all look good
This suit is 🤸♀️🤸♀️🤸♀️👌👌👌👌👌
Love the advice as always Steve 👏👏
And then when the babies start coming and you need a babysitter, send them off to those that kept pushing you to have kids.
They are a BEAUTIFUL couple!!!!! 🤗❤️🤗
Steve’s suit color 🔥🔥
every time somebody’s asking, ad another year and tell them! Like, we planed to wait 5 years, now we wait 6!!
Love the 5 year idea. Makes total sense.
To those who like to ask people these kind of questions, pls. Never ask a married couple when will they hv a child. It’s really none of yawll business. Everybody has their own plans and issues. Just mind your own business.
Beautiful couple do you man
O my God, we're waiting on the results. Hmm Steve
Hopefully, you're able to have them when you ready, some ppl can't
Science has come a long way , they'll be fine .
@@coppercoloredcutiexoxo2315 I heard science make robot, I never heard babe
p baboo oh we will!
@@BryanAnthony2015 I'm your side bro. I'm happy for you
Put it on fB don't ask us about babies. Please mind your own business
Excellent advice Steve
They could tell people, "we have a plan" that's it. They dont have to explain anything to anybody.
What a pretty lady 😊
I can relate to Steve saying" all my kids are 😳what"?
I am unsure if I want to have kids I think about what it would be like to have kids but I also feel like it might not be for me
Told whoever asked that we were not planning on any yet😝
Good plan forget them folks lol. Me and my wife enjoyed ourselves took vacations. We have kids now we still.vacation but it's the kids vacation now we just watch them play 😅😅😅😅
I jus said the same damn thing Steve! #MindYoDamnBiznizzz
I KNOW THESE PEOPLE!
That annoying question people ask. Yes they said they would like to wait for 5 years before they start trying, but what if they have already started trying but it hasn't happen. People should just let them be and stop distracting them with the unneeded question
I know its off topic but these videos are so addicting....