A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white..
Glad the nephew undestood what the uncle and his wife told him with their actions that they don't love him. Now its too little too late for anything, he mustn't complain he is reaping what he sowed
I was fairly sympathetic up until a certain point but OP's SIL sounded like a massive asshole to leo. At least say something like we will try and make it up to you.
Those are a pair of idiots The wife for being gullible and listening to the toxic mom and the uncle for being a doormat and not outing his foot down to support his nephew Now it's too late for making amends and even if Jack forgives them their relationship will never be like it was
@@jessilynallendilla5014 still the thought of someone even as young as he was to offer every single penny he had just to go to their special day speaks volumes to how much he looked up to him
@@Ghosthost-dk9kj 13 and no idea how much goes into a destination wedding travel costs time off work kid was looking at the big picture and threw a 30 minute crying fit over it anybody would snap especially someone who didn't have kids and was overwhelmed with a teenager OP should have gotten his kid help years ago instead of addressing Leos abandonment issues he pacified it with his brother instead of looking into the 2 adults reservation he ignored it instead of stepping in and explaining it to him as a parent would he threw him to an inexperienced person for thirty minutes instead of getting him help for his poor coping skills he allowed his teenage son to pout about it for two years ruining his relationship with his uncle who practically raised him
Story 1: Good on OP for respecting his son's boundaries and not forcing him to reconcile "because they're family." It seems like parents these days forget that they need to teach kids to respect boundaries while also respecting their own. Story 2: Poor OP. They're clearly traumatized by how their friends and dad treated them. I'm like 75% sure that dad is gonna become one of those people who are like, "Why does my kid never call me after I treated them like crap their entire life?"
For the second story, OP handled it well. They were obviously very concerned about her so they were coming from a good place. Glad it worked out well and hope she's rid of ther stupid sp*rm donor.
Soooo being a picky eater is fine and totally ok, but having a real medical issue is “attention seeking” and “pretentious”? I used to serve in a unit where most of the non-combats were celiacs, so they were allowed to have microwaves and water heaters in their rooms (usually forbidden due to fire risk). The only ones who looked down on them for that (100% jealously) were either combat soldiers (who literally have no right to because they have their own quarters with their own kitchen) or new comers, who were quickly shut down. Like, are you complaining about not having a microwave? Imagine not being able to eat any of the food in the hall in a *special* unit that sometimes serves pancakes and other cool stuff?!?! Imagine not being able to eat what you want because theres no much around for celiacs in the store? And have to bring everything from home?!
Story 1 : First off, you can't MESSAGE anyone forgive someone, especially when they don't deserve it. The uncle showed him what his nephew meant to him, and Leo, wise for his age, stood on that. This is ALL in the uncle and his wife, no one else.
@@NobodySpesh2How on Earth is that the same thing? You’re talking about violent homophobes that commit disgusting atrocities. The story was about a friend group who genuinely cared for OP but messed up by going overboard with their assumption that she had anorexia and doubt of her explanation that she was celiac, but they apologised and were accepting. Those are two VERY different scenarios!
I think that the problem was that her father was coming from an abusive set of presumptions about OP and honestly doesn't care if she is permanently damaged by his behaviour. That gets normalised in a kid's head after a while and anyone else expressing concern is just another person tryting to harm you out of deliberate and malicious ignorance.
Story 1, sounds like their broken relationahip helped the son and dad bond instead. Because it seemed like OP had no interest in his sons life before this whole debacle 😅 But thats just me reading into things
Real or fake the moral of the story should always be you can never Force someone into feelings that they do not have and you can never make someone forgive somebody for their actions they have to do that themselves.
So the closest thing they have to a son SIL ruined to appease her nasty awful mother who she doesn’t seem to like for a wedding which has cost him his brother and nephew and probably his sister and her kids too
OP went a lot into the intricacies of what went down, but never goes into whether Leo was told about what actually went down. That he makes up his own mind is good. Doing it with all the information is better. If I was his father I would've broken it down from one end to the other and then let him decide based in that.
Story 2 completely understand the issues with food issues I have constant never ending cranial migraine, abdominal migraine and fibromyalgia so I’m on a low FODMAP diet which makes issues such as; gluten, wheat, lactose, eggs, certain fruits and vegetables. But I think the ‘friends’ intervention was too over the top
Having celiac sucks! I always have to be super careful when it comes to eating. Always preparing my own food and even bringing to functions. Having my thyroid swell up, joints hurt, stomach cramps, nausea, and diarrhea for days is never ideal!
For the first story, OP kind of didn’t be a father like you let your brother to be a father and a mother figure and his boys life no doubt you should have put a boundary from the beginning just because they have more time. Doesn’t mean that excuse you from bonding with your own son You should have created a bond like your brother and son did with your own son.
I have a friend who has Celiac and I have a friend who just likes to eat gluten free. No one questions them. I don't understand why there are people that do though. Mind your own damn business.
See, story 2 is why you have to just stop caring sometimes. If the people think you're faking it, break it off with them. If they're hesitant, just openly tell them, and if they can't handle it, you call them jackasses and leave. There are people out there that will accept you no matter who you are, but sometimes it takes time to find them. If the people can't handle something that is as extremely minor as celiac disease (let's be real, it's not that big of a deal) then you just call them idiots and move on. You'd be amazed at how easy life gets when you just stop worrying so much over the tiniest thing. The father situation sucks though, that one's a genuine situation that you'd need a more tactful and complicated solution for.
A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white..
This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.
You wont regret it
Glad the nephew undestood what the uncle and his wife told him with their actions that they don't love him. Now its too little too late for anything, he mustn't complain he is reaping what he sowed
I was fairly sympathetic up until a certain point but OP's SIL sounded like a massive asshole to leo. At least say something like we will try and make it up to you.
Story 1 heard this one before. People need to realize if you don't invite someone to your wedding that's a bridge burner.
How did Mary and Jack's heart not break when the kid offered all of his savings just to be a part of their special day? What dickheads.
I nearly cried just hearing it
Those are a pair of idiots
The wife for being gullible and listening to the toxic mom and the uncle for being a doormat and not outing his foot down to support his nephew
Now it's too late for making amends and even if Jack forgives them their relationship will never be like it was
do you have any idea how much it would cost to change the date of a destination wedding within a months notice
@@jessilynallendilla5014 still the thought of someone even as young as he was to offer every single penny he had just to go to their special day speaks volumes to how much he looked up to him
@@Ghosthost-dk9kj 13 and no idea how much goes into a destination wedding travel costs time off work kid was looking at the big picture and threw a 30 minute crying fit over it anybody would snap especially someone who didn't have kids and was overwhelmed with a teenager OP should have gotten his kid help years ago instead of addressing Leos abandonment issues he pacified it with his brother instead of looking into the 2 adults reservation he ignored it instead of stepping in and explaining it to him as a parent would he threw him to an inexperienced person for thirty minutes instead of getting him help for his poor coping skills he allowed his teenage son to pout about it for two years ruining his relationship with his uncle who practically raised him
Story 1: Yes bc forcing someone to forgive just works magically 😒
Story 1: Good on OP for respecting his son's boundaries and not forcing him to reconcile "because they're family." It seems like parents these days forget that they need to teach kids to respect boundaries while also respecting their own.
Story 2: Poor OP. They're clearly traumatized by how their friends and dad treated them. I'm like 75% sure that dad is gonna become one of those people who are like, "Why does my kid never call me after I treated them like crap their entire life?"
How does one make someone forgive another party? Whole family is slow
Kids aren't dumb "they didn't want me on their special day, I don't want them at my special day" period. Poor lil guy
For the second story, OP handled it well. They were obviously very concerned about her so they were coming from a good place. Glad it worked out well and hope she's rid of ther stupid sp*rm donor.
Grown man cries when he gets told the kid wants nothing to do with him. Stop being selfish, it's not your special day :^)
Soooo being a picky eater is fine and totally ok, but having a real medical issue is “attention seeking” and “pretentious”?
I used to serve in a unit where most of the non-combats were celiacs, so they were allowed to have microwaves and water heaters in their rooms (usually forbidden due to fire risk). The only ones who looked down on them for that (100% jealously) were either combat soldiers (who literally have no right to because they have their own quarters with their own kitchen) or new comers, who were quickly shut down. Like, are you complaining about not having a microwave? Imagine not being able to eat any of the food in the hall in a *special* unit that sometimes serves pancakes and other cool stuff?!?! Imagine not being able to eat what you want because theres no much around for celiacs in the store? And have to bring everything from home?!
Biggest mistake is let MIL take over the wedding.
Story 1 : First off, you can't MESSAGE anyone forgive someone, especially when they don't deserve it. The uncle showed him what his nephew meant to him, and Leo, wise for his age, stood on that. This is ALL in the uncle and his wife, no one else.
Oh my God. You can't force someone to forgive another...but how entitled is this kid!
Story 2 I hope op realizes that the friends are coming from a place of caring.
The church group that beat a gay kid to death was doing it from a place of caring as well. Doesnt make it okay.
@@NobodySpesh2How on Earth is that the same thing? You’re talking about violent homophobes that commit disgusting atrocities.
The story was about a friend group who genuinely cared for OP but messed up by going overboard with their assumption that she had anorexia and doubt of her explanation that she was celiac, but they apologised and were accepting. Those are two VERY different scenarios!
I think that the problem was that her father was coming from an abusive set of presumptions about OP and honestly doesn't care if she is permanently damaged by his behaviour. That gets normalised in a kid's head after a while and anyone else expressing concern is just another person tryting to harm you out of deliberate and malicious ignorance.
@@NobodySpesh2 they come from a place of fear and hate, thats not caring
It seems like the uncle was more of a father figure than the actual dad.
Story 1, sounds like their broken relationahip helped the son and dad bond instead. Because it seemed like OP had no interest in his sons life before this whole debacle 😅
But thats just me reading into things
Real or fake the moral of the story should always be you can never Force someone into feelings that they do not have and you can never make someone forgive somebody for their actions they have to do that themselves.
So the closest thing they have to a son SIL ruined to appease her nasty awful mother who she doesn’t seem to like for a wedding which has cost him his brother and nephew and probably his sister and her kids too
OP went a lot into the intricacies of what went down, but never goes into whether Leo was told about what actually went down.
That he makes up his own mind is good. Doing it with all the information is better.
If I was his father I would've broken it down from one end to the other and then let him decide based in that.
Story 2 completely understand the issues with food issues I have constant never ending cranial migraine, abdominal migraine and fibromyalgia so I’m on a low FODMAP diet which makes issues such as; gluten, wheat, lactose, eggs, certain fruits and vegetables.
But I think the ‘friends’ intervention was too over the top
Story 2) I've been in a situation where I didn't say something and wish I had. The person ended up dying.
Having celiac sucks!
I always have to be super careful when it comes to eating. Always preparing my own food and even bringing to functions.
Having my thyroid swell up, joints hurt, stomach cramps, nausea, and diarrhea for days is never ideal!
For the first story, OP kind of didn’t be a father like you let your brother to be a father and a mother figure and his boys life no doubt you should have put a boundary from the beginning just because they have more time. Doesn’t mean that excuse you from bonding with your own son You should have created a bond like your brother and son did with your own son.
A simple what I and when I eat is none of your business would've been enough for the 2nd OP
I have a friend who has Celiac and I have a friend who just likes to eat gluten free. No one questions them. I don't understand why there are people that do though. Mind your own damn business.
Day 45 of telling secretvoices to have a good day
Day 45 of telling you to have a great day
See, story 2 is why you have to just stop caring sometimes. If the people think you're faking it, break it off with them. If they're hesitant, just openly tell them, and if they can't handle it, you call them jackasses and leave. There are people out there that will accept you no matter who you are, but sometimes it takes time to find them. If the people can't handle something that is as extremely minor as celiac disease (let's be real, it's not that big of a deal) then you just call them idiots and move on. You'd be amazed at how easy life gets when you just stop worrying so much over the tiniest thing. The father situation sucks though, that one's a genuine situation that you'd need a more tactful and complicated solution for.
2nd story is so fake
Sadly, this happens all the time.
Why do you think so?
Would you cover the posts by throwaway-lotsofpain please?
definitely, thanks for the suggestion
@@SecretVoices25 you mean definitely or are you doing it to spite someone?