Boyfriend Wants to DITCH Marriage Plans After Meeting My 10 Member Family That Lives In A Cohouse
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- Опубліковано 5 жов 2024
- #hottopic on #326Express
I'm a lady aged 26yrs old and I need your help. I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years. We met in University in SA and started dating after we reconnected working at a same restaurant whilst trying to figure out what to do with our qualifications. He left after 2 months and started working for a big retail company ku accounts department. His things were shaping up gore rakasara rapera ane mota and an apartment ikoko ku South Africa.
I moved back to Zim after I received a job offer from tete my dad's sister. We last saw each other in February just after valentine's... So Kudzi my hot topic is my boyfriend hinted marriage in February paakauya akanditi I need to meet your family. This was the first time my boyfriend achiuya kumba kwedu. So he met my mum and my Siblings my dad was away nebasa. Honestly I felt like it was a great meet up. But after this visit I took him to the airport and I didn't hear from him kungoti I landed safely or Hi babe zvaano siita. I sent him a message and he blueticked me. That week he was so off and I was worried kuti maybe my family members said something that put him off... So takachovha 2 weeks with this weird vibe until I finally decided to ask kuti chii... And he asked me kuti munogara muri vangani pamba penyu... I Said 10 my parents ini my 5 Siblings and my mum's sister and her son... we stay in Warren Park in Call house 🏠... He said to me I obviously love you but your background is an issue of great concern kumba kwenyu ndiwe mukuru and I will be mkwasha wekutanga I fear kuzo omeserwa vanhu vakuda kupedza nhamo ne twumari twushoma twandaita... He said I'm pointing this out because I saw it happening to my own brother. I felt weak and reduced to nothing KVG nhamo yekumba kwedu was getting in the way of my relationship. I told him that's my family there's nothing chandinga chinje ukuda ndiite sei...??? He said allow me to consult my brothers so that I can make a decision kuti ndiroore here... Just imagine.... So I'm enduring the biggest heartache right now because akangonyarara I don't know what to do in-between the thinking yaari kuita do I text him and call as normal or I wait on his decision please help me vedare I'm stuck here...
The guy made a sensible decision. Black tax is not something to play with. After all, taking care of grown adults is very challenging.
Good to see that there are men who are willing to speak up about issues of concern, normally we are guilt tripped into situations, to the extent you end up working hard jc to sustain both your extended families instead of building your own family.
The guy is right in my opinion, saka varume ndovanofanirwa kurambirwa their background and it's understandable, black tax chimbadzo kana takazogara hedu, unochengeteswa Ana tsano Nana mainini vese, the statement tanha dzaunosvikira doesn't only apply to men even vasikana should be able to date vanhu vanoenderana navo, the truth is the guy haachada hake, this thing of consulting brothers and think about it, is just a scapegoat
His reasons are so valid, zvekuti let love lead hazvishande zviya. I experienced this personally where u marry in a family of 9 and both parents of your spouse are late and your wife is first born. My friend it will be tough to send 8 of her siblings to school and you are trying to put up your own life in place. It is both ways whether its the wife or husband side rine such an issue.... haaa l say better kugara wasiyana nazvo, Zim situation things are tough even your own kids its even tough to raise them, what about 9 or 10 vasiri vako vemumwe munhu aiita vana hobho vekuzosiira vanhu mutoro.. Better asiyane nazvo atange life nemunhu muri pa 0-0 not wakadyiwa 10-0... unopinda busy l experienced it paden pachigara pane team of 7 people, haaa guys musanyepera munhu kti heee love lead, kudii love lead chii chacho.
It's good he discussed it. But if he was mature enough dai akabvunza muskana kuti kana taroorana how are we going to support your family? Why does he think kuti this girl will remain poor forever hanti she's also equally educated. Sometimes in marriage you just need a supportive partner who will push and motivate you to do better in life. Ototi babe, you need to work hard so that you look after your parents or start a business for them and I'll also chip in where I can but I wouldn't want them to depend on me.
I hope the brothers are also mature enough to give him the correct advise.
This is a red flag though
Hapana kuti mature apa, why does he have to be mature iye ? ko musikana akatadza kuita mature here to explain her future plans e situation iri kumba. Inga wani shona inoti chakatanga ndechakachechedza, he must proceed with caution. Mukoma a was right to ask kwete kuisa musoro muvhu se ostrit,
@@phillthedrill am not saying he was not supposed to ask, but why go for 2 weeks wakanyarira munhu? and it's not like he was interested in engaging the lady about the future. Hanti akati akuda kubvunza his brothers first? Marriage inotonga kunamatirwa hayo. I feel sorry for people who are not married yet and those married to partners who look down on your family. Lets work hard and look after our own families
Truth be told, this guy is right ,,sometimes you need to consider background yemunhu,,because in most cases you will can the burden yevamwe vakakundikana life dzavo. Honestly how can 10 people stay mukaCall house xuwa xuwa, run with your life my guy
her dad is working and they managed to take her to university which means they can survive without someone's help and sometimes they are going to be good people vachikoshesa happiness yemwana wavo and remember this girl is also educated it's only a matter of time chete and if you see munhu achiita consult ma brothers haa red flag he can't make decisions on his own chero vakaroorana achagara achingonobvunza ana mkoma pane chese chavachanetsana
Haaaaa saka muzim machances ekuroorwa nemunhu ari rich iwe uri poor ari very slim shuwa kkkk😂zvandiri kunzwa panapa zviri kunyatsoreva kty vapfumi kuvapfumi varombowo kuvarombo woooow 👏ndarwadziwa
Guy has a point, it's good that he mentioned that he has an issue with it but it's not something that can break the relationship or stop the marriage, it's something to talk about and they reach an understanding.
Move on my dear , you will find a great partner later in Life , you wouldn't want someone who speak bad about your family, without knowing if they will need his assistance in life .we all come from different backgrounds and if he can't except it now because he thinks aita Mari by working for a company what about those who owns the company.. life is like a wheel today you can be on top tomorrow you can be at the bottom.
So maturity kungofunga semafungiro evamwe vanhu pano kkkk ayas... we all have our dos and donts so yea hea doesnt date someone with that background he needs to respect that and he did zvake so ndikoko. Chakatanga ndochakachenjedza he saw what his brother went through he wouldn't wanna be into that though misi haifanane hayo but kana zvakamboitika unogona kunyura..but ska iko kudanana kwose kwavaiita havavana kumbobvira vabvunzana izvi wozotanga kunozvionera kumba haaa pamwe pane akanyepa coz you will have these type of conversations.
This guy is not from a rich background basa rikapera hanty he will be bek to the gutters kumba kwavo vanototamburao.. Koz vanhu vane mari chaivo havanei nema small issues akadai aya they can handle it
marry your type my dear, someone who loves you as you are
I did the same with the guy I was also dating because I couldn't keep up with his family ..
Haa pple r not understanding this guy is not rich he is at the beginning of his come-up n tt kind of load can damage u zvekutoti u may never actully build ur life n be stuck stitching up other pples lives it may be a hard thing to hear for the girl but it's something one should definitely ask b4 n jot after the deed is done
Why didnt they meet at his place (with his mum)? This lady has a working dad and she is also working. The lady deserves better.
true and they managed to take her to university which means pazvishoma zvavainazvo they can survive without someone's help
Pakunzi let me consult with my brothers...is just a diplomatic way of creating distance. but then again what is sister girl bringing to the table?
Run with yo life dear boyfriend
I support this guy 100%... he just dodged a bullet there
The guy is correct sometimes it's a genuine matter of concern vanenge vakuda lifestyle yepamusoro on your expense
U hv a tight knit family already this person has no regard for family siya anoitwa rough kwaachaenda
Maybe he was supposed to ask coz it seems she is working & the father is also working.
These are the conversations to engage in during the early days of the relationship and make decisions early. Waiting for someone to invest their all only to let them down at the end is heartbreaking.
Early stage ipi ? iyi ndiyo early stage yacho, for me its macharacters and behaviour dzemunhu that make me decide kuti uyu ndiye wekuroora and to pick all those cames over time average a year and above. Those are exposed over through daily to day living and its challenges. Dont decide to marry becoz u feel its time but marry becoz u have seen the characters you want in him/her and his his/her family
Its very important to focus on things that annoys you from wife to be/hubby to be. Ask yourself am able yo live and cope with this, those are things that you will live with for the rest of your life they will be in front of you, you wont able to ignore them, you live in the same roof, share the blanket , Those annoying things will eat your heart out and slowy u will fall out out of love
2years usingazive set up yekumba kwemunhu wako ?
Iii it's not easy moving on, asi his not worth your love. Haziwako dear...
Agreed nearikutaura now
This guy haamude , she should move on
I hv been there kuudzwa zvekuti yr back ground what what
Haasi kudzoka uyo move on wakatorambwa silently.
Kurambwa zviri professional
It is life traumas they are so real
Move on my dear.chero akazokuroora unogona kutukwa nezve kumba kwenyu...family background haina anything to do with love and starting a family
This is so sad but he was right to be open but I think the girl should hear what's not being said. Even if he says let's just continue every little financial issue will be an issue. Uchawanza nyama chaiyo mupoto ugonzi because wakakura usina. You will want to help your family and he'll see it as if you're taking from him and your kids. Sorry hako but let him go. Asiwo ma families we must not burden vana
Relationship rules 101: Rule number 1: People fall in love to get hurt. Before you commit, expect disappointment 😂
Baba vataura nezvehama avaaa iiiiih … hama hadzisi that that important coz at some point in this life I saw family not being there life yakaoma saka family iiiih … kuti she’s caught between a rock and a hard place but the honesty yabhudhi avaa.. nhamooo 😅😂😂 yakashata…
Also im thinking kuti maybe this guy wanted to look for a way out thinking about it now does it mean in all the 2 years they never spoke about their families kuti kumba kunani , i dont believe that ini hangu how come ? Also if you love someone wozo introducer after 2 years aaah
This issue exposes, hudyire and abuse inoitwa mukwasha under sake of role yemukwa. Ini i find it embrassing kuiitirwa your duty and role neumwe murume under the umbrella basa remukwasha. The guy is right vakwasha are abused right and centre. Even ne pafamily funeral, unotodzwa zvichinzi vakwasha this and that shuwa, have pride kuvinga werudzi renyu pasina kuti vakwasha. Yes vakwasha can chip in supporting my spouse avo, kwete kuotita as if vakwasha ndivo varidzi vefamily name
Life goes on
These people calling saying just break the relationship are not being realistic
Siyanani naye mwanasikana ushe madzoro Mwari vachakuropafadza siyana naye ndiyo mhuri yenyu hazvichinje chinhu dear
Even if his brothers tell him to get married usabvume, unotukirwa nhamo yekumba kwenyu mukaita kasmall misunderstanding. Move on shaa zvorwadza asi ndozviripo ,pick yourself and go. While waiting for your Mr Right asina basa kuti mogara muri 10 work on improving yourself. Some people really care about background
Ummm pakaipa apo ini hangu deyi ndirini ndaingo Siya oroora waanoenderana naye
There is no love and the fact that he needs someone else to help him to decide whether to marry her or not leaves a lot to be desired.Girl just move on and let that man go he is not worthy your time.has he ever provided anything for your family why ari kutaura senge he has been taking care of your family.the way he said it its sounds like an insult.He doesnt love you akungoda kuwana excuse to leave you chete
Background matters yes hatirambe. He was supposed to discuss with you first kuti in case we get married how are we going to support your family? You're equally educated as well and working so maybe it wasn't going to be his burden but yours. Background matters to me as well but zvekuti vanhu vangani Mumba mavo vanoda kubhadharirwa fees isn't my problem, I also grew up with extended family. I feel sorry for you asi chero akadzoka usabvume hako nekuti zvikakwidza unoudzwa nhamo yekumba kwenyu
Ndobva ndafunga painzi would you marry someone who is like your father? Look the father vakutogara na mainini or maiguru plus mwana wavo he can take in hama. Asi uyu haasat atone responsibility yacho akutofunga kuti ndakutosungirirwa stumbling block panapa...but mungadanane morega kubvunzana kana kutaurirana nezvekuti togara zvakadai dai haaa guys
Kwahi nomurume wangu siyana nasekuru rambani avaaaa.Unowana umwe
Iwo maparents anoda kumirira kuchengetwa nevana vanenge vari dangwe or older than others, ndivo vanofanirwa kupihwa mhosva .Mubereki ziva kuti vana vako ndiwe unovaitira plan because wacho wamuri kuda kuti akubatsirei anewo life yake yaachada kurarama. Chionai manje mwana uyo is about to lose the love of her life. Sorry hako hidey
Please I also have a hot topic ndosenda papi ndibatsireiwo
Yeah now jus because its the male gender zvashata the guy is talking sense
Ngatishandei tichakwanisa veduwe tigadzirire dzedu ramangwana ririnani.
Move on my sister you met the wrong man anokuda anokuda nemhuri yako ,it's a bit red flag on that mam
azviko izvozvo iye kana achingoda munhu wake ngatore munhu wke zvekt vakawanda ratove drama iro ...arikuda kuwanda kwevanhu hre or bbe rake?
ndiwo ma red flag achoni aya Mainini.run with your life. your whole marriage he will be consulting his brothers for everything. he is not man enough. haazive here kuti akweva sanzu akweva nemarara aro. munhu wako unomuda zvaari. u can't be desperate for marriage to the extent yekunge ucharasa kwaunobva nekuda kufadza,murume. ndezvake izvo. haisi last born man wemunyika nxaaaa. unowana mumwe. he aint yours. don't be desperate
Mmmmm
Move on my sister izvo hazviko murudo ngaasiyane naye pachiri pedo