NTA. OP doesn't sound like he's prideful at all, just resolute in his beliefs. And I think he might be a little bit too mature for this friend group. To men, mind games and the whole "do I like him or not" indecisiveness is _not_ attractive. Nonsense like that belongs in middle school. Being asked to be this woman's diry little secret because she does not have the guts to stand up to mommy and daddy is undeniable evidence that she's not ready for a grown up relationship.
Someone thinking they can just kiss someone that previously confessed to them is so stupid. Like you rejected them, if you regret it talk about it, confess back and apologize. Not just kiss them, that is some confusing and manipulative s**t. And she also suck for telling the friends to make OP look bad. Which also means the friends suck, because anyone with a brain could understand his reaction. OP should actually just leave and forget about all this losers.
NTA. Chicky can miss me with the "back and forth" game. She can also figure out her own family drama without dragging OP into it. I hope they move with fam across the country for a new and better life.
@@Maninawig This is the response that I wanted to leave. To add to it, I know that this is more of a western concept as kisses in other countries are greetings unless performed in certain ways. The reality, however, is that most likely the culture of OP sees it as a sexual advance or romantic action if he was meant to "get the hint" so to speak.
@@narliehs1648 I think they are referring to OP referring to themselves as NB which doesn't naturally exist in primates. Just because it has been normalized as common enough and people don't necessarily react like they are revolted doesn't mean the source of it isn't likely due to a mental development/functioning problem. I respect people enough to not care too much about them calling themselves whatever they want but I also acknowledge how outside the norm it is.
@@CyberianFaux Outside of the norm, yes. But that's why it's called a spectrum. Not everyone falls within the "norm" as prescribed by WASP culture from the last few hundred years. Same as not everyone is cishet. Also, yes, it does naturally exist. Ask any trans or nonbinary individual out there. They'll generally give you a similar answer, that they "knew" something was "different" even from a young age. I, for example, was raised around a literal cult, deep in religious-right rural Kentucky. I didn't have a clue what LGBTQIA+ was, had no idea any of it even existed. I still understood that I was somehow not "normal," as you put it. I didn't have the words to describe it, but the feeling was there. Turns out, I'm nonbinary just like OP. In my case, the specific term is librafluid. I'm also demisexual and pansexual. Not everyone fits into the neat little boxes y'all want.
@@narliehs1648 Just because you feel you are not normal doesn't mean you aren't normal. People need to learn to be uncomfortable because sometimes you are going to be. Most times, it fades. It is natural to question yourself, your development, etc. I was indoctrinated to believe I had gender dysphoria from my teen years onward into my adulthood from friends and teachers. I remember the confirmation of when I used to sneak heels from my mother to wear. The reality is that I simply was enjoying what I did without an underlying cause. It was just simple innocence. I always felt more connected to girls my age than boys. This led me to reject and dislike myself. I grew up fearful of the reactions my family would have if I was open, I was fearful that being different would endanger me, I was scared about the prospect of having to completely cut off and be isolated from my family just to transition after college. Eventually, I felt pushed over the edge and became convinced I couldn't survive any longer like that or I would endgame myself. I went on to have a private conversation with my mother who I convinced myself would condemn me when younger. She was understandably shaken up but never directly condemned me. She kept that entire car ride private between us and within 6 months to a year I felt better. I no longer had the feelings, disassociation, etc. at the age of 23. I am not claiming this is the solution for all people who feel the condition. However, her acceptance of what I was telling her with her care to try to understand and keep it secret was enough for my indoctrinated fears to start clearing up. Eventually, my gender dysphoric feelings started fading away with them. Just having that one understanding person was enough for me not to care about those that wouldn't. I never had to come out again after that. I never transitioned and I am grateful for it every day. My interests are not really girly or anything either in adulthood. I like women's fashion and the way it looks on women, just not on myself and have no interest in it for myself in any way shape or form. Rationally speaking, anything like that was more of a passing interest due to being a child I have rationalized. Please don't take this the wrong way, I know some people have a permanent case of it but most do not. Sometimes, pushing through the discomfort to the other side will leave you grateful you stuck it out. Other times it won't. The reality is that most of us never fully understand ourselves as much as we think we do. I hope/pray you have a support system like that. I was sharing my original reply to help others see how the situation could be viewed. I lacked the nuance to mention the other side of it. Thank you for sharing!
Do you try to inspect people's genitals before they enter a public restroom? Someone being NB doesn't hurt anyone. The only reason to care about how someone identifies or their orientation is if you want to sleep with them.
@@NazzyDragon Ya. I know it's difficult for some people like yourself to comprehend when you have the intellectual capacity of a brain-damaged toddler, but it is in fact a real thing.
Honestly this sounds fake AF. Update was an over the top rant that reads as bait, as the kind of bigotry hoaxes we see all the time nowadays because the perpetually offended need their victimhood fix. Conveniently no mention of this NB stuff in the first post, and the villains fit all the unrealistic tropes for this kind of fictitious incident. Even if it really happened, parents are kinda right, based on the hostile attitude of many NB people towards anyone that doesn't want to play along with them.
@@krewa578 Nonbinary is an umbrella term encompassing several gender identities between male and female. Some include agender, demi-boy, demi-girl, genderfluid, gender-neutral (different from agender), etc. I myself am librafluid, which means that I'm normally neutral but can have occasional swings in one direction or another along the spectrum. Hope this helps! 🤗
@@alexjeffrey3981 We didn't make anything complicated that wasn't already that way. It just is what it is. We didn't choose this any more than a cishet person does. Biological sex and gender are spectrums, and they don't always align. That's life- messy, complex and we all just have to deal with it as it is.
@@narliehs1648 oh no I don't mean about enbies existing - I mean all the little variations within. It reminds me of the asexual spectrum - there's like a handful of main sexualities (straight, gay, bi, pan, etc) and then within asexual there's like a million micro sexualities 😂 no hate whatsoever, I just find it funny how deep the rabbit hole can go
![[Full Story] Found Out My Parents Have Been Supporting My Sister's Secret Family for Years While...](/img/n.gif)
Nta. Assuming it's true, shame is a terrible start for a relationship. My bet is that op is the consolation prize.
No, I think what the friend said was true, and she is just a coward. She wants to be an ally only when it suits her.
Thet were never op's friends
NTA. OP doesn't sound like he's prideful at all, just resolute in his beliefs. And I think he might be a little bit too mature for this friend group. To men, mind games and the whole "do I like him or not" indecisiveness is _not_ attractive. Nonsense like that belongs in middle school. Being asked to be this woman's diry little secret because she does not have the guts to stand up to mommy and daddy is undeniable evidence that she's not ready for a grown up relationship.
Agreed. Girly is spineless af
Op is a female. The first person she came out to was her crush, whose parents are bigots.
OP is not a man.
@@tejaschandran9776 NB = non-binary. OP is neither female nor male, they are non-binary.
2 weeks later she's trying to kiss you? Weird girl, probably dodge a bullet
Someone thinking they can just kiss someone that previously confessed to them is so stupid.
Like you rejected them, if you regret it talk about it, confess back and apologize. Not just kiss them, that is some confusing and manipulative s**t.
And she also suck for telling the friends to make OP look bad. Which also means the friends suck, because anyone with a brain could understand his reaction.
OP should actually just leave and forget about all this losers.
NTA. Chicky can miss me with the "back and forth" game. She can also figure out her own family drama without dragging OP into it. I hope they move with fam across the country for a new and better life.
So her rejecting him is fine, him rejecting her makes him a PoS...
Holy double standards, move on man, that friend group is a heckin dumpster
them, not him.
Paraphrase: OP confessed his feelings properly then got rejected, but the girl took that as a carte blanche to SA him whenever she wants.
How is kissing sexual assault? Kisses aren't sexual.
@@avatarmew if a male co-worker up and kisses a female co-worker, what is he charged with?
@@Maninawig This is the response that I wanted to leave. To add to it, I know that this is more of a western concept as kisses in other countries are greetings unless performed in certain ways. The reality, however, is that most likely the culture of OP sees it as a sexual advance or romantic action if he was meant to "get the hint" so to speak.
@@Maninawigthey called that "Baby it's cold outside" kiss SA.
them, not him.
I doubt that your relationship will even be good with a family like that of her.
Mental health problems all around for the lot of that “friend group”.
Yeah, Including OP
@@MrEKOPriest How is OP in any way to blame for this drama? Chicky's spineless, playing games and can't stand up to her AH parents. Boo hoo.
@@narliehs1648 I think they are referring to OP referring to themselves as NB which doesn't naturally exist in primates. Just because it has been normalized as common enough and people don't necessarily react like they are revolted doesn't mean the source of it isn't likely due to a mental development/functioning problem. I respect people enough to not care too much about them calling themselves whatever they want but I also acknowledge how outside the norm it is.
@@CyberianFaux Outside of the norm, yes. But that's why it's called a spectrum. Not everyone falls within the "norm" as prescribed by WASP culture from the last few hundred years. Same as not everyone is cishet.
Also, yes, it does naturally exist. Ask any trans or nonbinary individual out there. They'll generally give you a similar answer, that they "knew" something was "different" even from a young age. I, for example, was raised around a literal cult, deep in religious-right rural Kentucky. I didn't have a clue what LGBTQIA+ was, had no idea any of it even existed. I still understood that I was somehow not "normal," as you put it. I didn't have the words to describe it, but the feeling was there. Turns out, I'm nonbinary just like OP. In my case, the specific term is librafluid. I'm also demisexual and pansexual.
Not everyone fits into the neat little boxes y'all want.
@@narliehs1648 Just because you feel you are not normal doesn't mean you aren't normal. People need to learn to be uncomfortable because sometimes you are going to be. Most times, it fades. It is natural to question yourself, your development, etc. I was indoctrinated to believe I had gender dysphoria from my teen years onward into my adulthood from friends and teachers. I remember the confirmation of when I used to sneak heels from my mother to wear. The reality is that I simply was enjoying what I did without an underlying cause. It was just simple innocence. I always felt more connected to girls my age than boys. This led me to reject and dislike myself. I grew up fearful of the reactions my family would have if I was open, I was fearful that being different would endanger me, I was scared about the prospect of having to completely cut off and be isolated from my family just to transition after college.
Eventually, I felt pushed over the edge and became convinced I couldn't survive any longer like that or I would endgame myself. I went on to have a private conversation with my mother who I convinced myself would condemn me when younger. She was understandably shaken up but never directly condemned me. She kept that entire car ride private between us and within 6 months to a year I felt better. I no longer had the feelings, disassociation, etc. at the age of 23. I am not claiming this is the solution for all people who feel the condition. However, her acceptance of what I was telling her with her care to try to understand and keep it secret was enough for my indoctrinated fears to start clearing up. Eventually, my gender dysphoric feelings started fading away with them. Just having that one understanding person was enough for me not to care about those that wouldn't. I never had to come out again after that. I never transitioned and I am grateful for it every day. My interests are not really girly or anything either in adulthood. I like women's fashion and the way it looks on women, just not on myself and have no interest in it for myself in any way shape or form. Rationally speaking, anything like that was more of a passing interest due to being a child I have rationalized.
Please don't take this the wrong way, I know some people have a permanent case of it but most do not. Sometimes, pushing through the discomfort to the other side will leave you grateful you stuck it out. Other times it won't. The reality is that most of us never fully understand ourselves as much as we think we do. I hope/pray you have a support system like that. I was sharing my original reply to help others see how the situation could be viewed. I lacked the nuance to mention the other side of it. Thank you for sharing!
Find new friends
Yes, seriously. F those "friends". What the actual F.
NTA in this "real" situation but OP is an asshole in general for their writing style. Also they could have made a more plausible story.
Fake: Anon BF is a girl.
Gay: Anon didn't like kissing a girl.
I didn't understand, is OP bi or what?
glad OP learned that their "pride" was actually self respect
tho I can understand why the friend was afraid to date someone who is mentally ill
Nta.
He had a lot of pride 😅
*they
Nahh they are not friends 😅😅😅😅
Sounded like a decent dude till he said that "NB" crap
What's NB?
@@krewa578they/them aka non-binary
Do you try to inspect people's genitals before they enter a public restroom?
Someone being NB doesn't hurt anyone. The only reason to care about how someone identifies or their orientation is if you want to sleep with them.
Why do you care? Are you afraid of your own sexuality?
@@darkkurama5651 Did you graduate elementary, bruh?
NB lol
@@NazzyDragon Ya. I know it's difficult for some people like yourself to comprehend when you have the intellectual capacity of a brain-damaged toddler, but it is in fact a real thing.
Honestly this sounds fake AF. Update was an over the top rant that reads as bait, as the kind of bigotry hoaxes we see all the time nowadays because the perpetually offended need their victimhood fix. Conveniently no mention of this NB stuff in the first post, and the villains fit all the unrealistic tropes for this kind of fictitious incident.
Even if it really happened, parents are kinda right, based on the hostile attitude of many NB people towards anyone that doesn't want to play along with them.
Ohhhh nb yta
Based.
Twit. 🙄Gender is a spectrum. Learn to deal.
🗿
Cope
5:57 what's NB meaning here?
non-binary.
@@krewa578 Nonbinary is an umbrella term encompassing several gender identities between male and female. Some include agender, demi-boy, demi-girl, genderfluid, gender-neutral (different from agender), etc. I myself am librafluid, which means that I'm normally neutral but can have occasional swings in one direction or another along the spectrum.
Hope this helps! 🤗
@@narliehs1648 y'all enbies have really made this shit complicated lol
@@alexjeffrey3981 We didn't make anything complicated that wasn't already that way. It just is what it is. We didn't choose this any more than a cishet person does. Biological sex and gender are spectrums, and they don't always align. That's life- messy, complex and we all just have to deal with it as it is.
@@narliehs1648 oh no I don't mean about enbies existing - I mean all the little variations within. It reminds me of the asexual spectrum - there's like a handful of main sexualities (straight, gay, bi, pan, etc) and then within asexual there's like a million micro sexualities 😂 no hate whatsoever, I just find it funny how deep the rabbit hole can go