I’ve been an RN for 37 years. I worked long term care for 18 years and had to leave the industry as I could no longer take the lack of adequate care and the multiple demands of management to do more with less.
Using assistant living as skilled nursing is part of the problem. Only qualifications to be a nurse's aide in assistant living is a GED or high school diploma. Doing skilled care for non skilled pay . It is the lifting that has me looking for a different profession. I am 105 lb have residents over 200 lbs that can not stand up. Is humanly impossible even with two aids sometimes. The floor I worked on last night every one but 3 is a 2 asst. 17 residents that needed toileted and put to bed. Plus the 100 other things we have to do. Laundry, cleaning the dining room, walk their dog, there's just never enough time. The call bells never stop. One lady fell getting off the elevator, now she couldn't walk let alone stand with her injured arm but didn't have a wheelchair.... She's on hospice I was there for 8 hours she still wasn't seen by a hospice nurse or had a x-ray yet. The only pain reliever she was given Tylenol. I had to go find a wheelchair another Aid to get her to bed and pray she didn't ring to go to the bathroom before I clocked out. The women is over weight and suffers from dementia living in a facility where people are supposed to be mostly independent. Only you get kicked out of one of these places is when you can no longer afford the monthly fee or die. People have a misconception these are medical facilities there not!! It is what the lady said in the video hospitality services not medical care you do not get diagnosed with anything the only treatment you receive it's because your doctor ordered it. . I've been employed at six different facilities at 6 different facilities that lie on the brochure home-cooked meals..... Processed food brought in on a truck once a week. Amazing activities bingo and painting a paper plates , yesterday was cocktail hour that's why the lady fell because they gave her a margarita. I have 15 drunk residence on my hands yesterday. Taking care of a drunk male resident that is sexually aggressive is beyond my pay scale don't feel I should have had the be alone in the bathroom with him naked. Pinned me up against the wall smell the booze on his breath but he's an assisted living facility and it's okay for him to drink and get drunk but he can't take a shower by himself. That in a nutshell is what is wrong with assistant living.... Stop pretending these people are independent regulate assisted living like they do nursing homes.
When mom died of cancer, dad moved in with my sister. After a few months she put him in assisted living facility without notifying me. He stayed there until his contract was up while I readied my house so he could stay with us. In the meantime I visited him everyday and brought him with me in my work truck to my job sites or wherever else he chose to go, ie golf course, old employer, stores, restaurants. When the house was ready, he moved in with my wife and I and stayed there for 2 more years until he died. I still miss him and that was 31 years ago.
I applaud your action. You were brave and would not settle for a facility. What keeps our loved ones going is precisely our company and the calm we provide for them. I embrace your brave decision. I decided to bring my 92 year old dad to my house. He was diagnosed with dementia 5 years ago. I am not claiming to be a champion . Just can’t settle to see him drugged and pissed on his pants at a facility .
You and your wife did such an honorable and wonderful thing taking your dad into your home. I was in a nursing facility for 2 years, they were always short on staff, I had to learn to walk again, and so many times there was no one to help me so I can get out of bed and walk. I believe with all my heart, that they are just after the money. I did not have medical to cover when I first went in, they ended up charging me for me to pay, over $30,000. There was no way on Earth I could pay that. They wanted me to go into a payment plan, now that I'm in an assisted living. But we only get $50 a month to spend. And they get a pretty good chunk of change for me every month. And it just irritates me that we all are supposed to make it on $50 a month. Some of the residents here have said they want to get their $50 and it wasn't in their account. So they had no money for that month. I also noticed, that there are people in the Assisted Living section of the building, that absolutely blows my mind because they can't walk they can't do with their hands what they need to do. And when I have asked for help which I'm totally functional now but sometimes I do need help, and they refuse it. They tell me you should be able to do things on your own but I told them this is supposed to be an assisted living where's the assistant for me? There's no transportation they have not gotten the bus fixed. The elevators are always being broke down. It just infuriates me that's all. And for the people here in that's why it made me so happy to read how you took care of your family member. My son wouldn't allow me to come and live with them. It kind of hurt me but that's the way it is. God bless you for doing what you did. And you will be blessed for it. You and your wife both.
We took my mother in-law into our home In 2012 due to her dementia. I took care of her full time all the way until she died this year (2022). She feared going to a rest home, and hospital, so we kept her with us. She died peacefully in her bedroom surrounded by her loved ones. It wasn’t always easy. But I’m so glad we did.
The one if anybody can put blame on is, Their own family. Really ashamed. And they call her mom when, themselves or arrogant fill with stupidity And foolishness, their fault. Was assistant living created by the, The Universal Law of cause and effect? (what you call God.) (Do onto others as you wish, they do onto you) Assisting Living, a place humans go, to pay while still alive, for all the sin they created. (KARMIC RETRIBUTION)
WTH are you talking about? Your grammar is atrocious which makes your statement confusing but it sounds like you’re a bit of a monster. Have I got that right?
My condolences. 🕊 My mum is here with me as well. In & out of 6 nursing homes and the hospital she has lots going on, everyday it's hard for me I've been doing it since 2017, man she is a hand full and then some with a truck drivers mouth!! The day she passes i Dred i DON'T wanna be part of it but it's reality. She brought me into this world and with out her i wouldn't be me, which i love my hard core self. I take care of sisters (nuns) I love and enjoy everyone of them. I enjoy my job and the geriatric community they are sweethearts.
Check out the look of utter disgust the inteviewer periodically gets on his face! In the story about Merle, it was particularly obvious-- Granger Cobb (Mr. Suave Executive Dude) is all comfort and smiles as he justifies Merle's death: "'That'" ("that" is how he sums up Merle and what happened to her) it was something they could not have forseen or prevented-- after all, the second-story windows opened(!) "only" 12 inches... Yep, just an "unfortunate" *insert gentle smile, lean forward in a friendly way* situation...not a person who was neglected egregiously and suffered a horrible death because of it. He's fortunate a look of disgust is the worst punishment he's faced; he's already got lots and lots and LOTS of blood on his hands...and I bet it continues to flow to this day.
I'm a nurse and worked at different areas including nursing homes and LTAC. It was a heart breaking experience. The staff are rude treating residents like animals. Though there are a few with good hearts and hardworking but they are burnt out. I picked up a part time on the weekends as a treatment nurse and I was shocked to see wound dressings were not changed, I'll find dressings I did from my last shift which was a week ago. Patients with long-term urinary catheters use tubings were nasty and had not been changed. There are sooo many more.... I'll never forget one day, I sat and clipped one of the residents fingernails and the next thing I heard and saw are residents on their wheelchairs lining up to get their nails clipped as well. 😢 I was told I shouldn't do it coz it has to be a podiatrist but where is he or she? Residents nails are getting too long causing skin tears. I have sooo many stories...when my father got sick, I quit my job and took care of him at my house, nursing home or assisted living was never an option to me.
Was OB RN for most of 39 yrs but did 4 mos at horrid place where a guy stopped walking, when I asked why said his toe hurt, took off his shoes and found nails so long they twisted his toes. Put his feet in a soak while raced through meds then cut his nails. Was able to walk just fine after that. Was supposed to be podiatry there also. Quit when they stuck me with 55 pts for 20 hrs. Went to a different company where28-32 medically complex pts were mixed with dementia, hospice, stroke pts and nurses were told to "help" the CNA while doing peritoneal dialysis, central lines, tube feedings, fresh surgery dressing changes, extensive documentation and get phone on third ring. Have been seeking staffing ratios in IL since 2015.Also think there should be counselling support for nurses who have worked this awful jobs, I have PTSD from job!!Or at minimum automatic clemency if we assault the director who puts us in untenable situations.
my friend is a retired nurse practitioner and is caring for her mother full time for the last two years and is not getting paid while her sister is POA across the country and is doing nothing but trying to make her sister who is my friend look bad so that she can pull their mother out of the home she has been living in for 30 years - what do you recommend
@@cherylcarlson3315 I worked in several ALFs and lived in two to understand what it was really like. I am positive I have PTSD from those days. I felt like I abandoned them. It's a corrupt and broken system and I wish I could do more to change it or bring awareness. The stories make me sick and sad. So sorry to all involved... it leaves me feeling so helpless
This is how we repay our elderly for their lives of hard work and contributions to our society, to our communities and to our lives? It's heartbreaking how the elderly are treated ... Glad to see some light shining on this topic
Unfortunately our money obsessed society doesn’t have time for the old,chronically sick and economically useless. Elder neglect is an epidemic. Quite sad.
I love that the Boice family refused the settlement offer from Emeritus because they absolutely did not want to give up their right to speak about what happened to their mother. I applaud them for that.
I don't know. My mum was in assisted living and loved it. It was her choice to go. There were also a lot of married couples there and she made a lot of friends. And I have no idea what the lady in the video is talking about that they don't drive. Many of the residents drove including my mum. Not all of these places are horrible. Expensive, yes.
@@jenniferlawrence9473 I agree...Things go wrong in hospital, nursing homes etc..It's really up to the families to inspect the skin, take the family member out, make sure they are walking etc..It's assisted, not full care. Should they have taken her in? Probably not and with that decision, it cost them....where it hurt the most. In my opinion, they should be forced to take in a number of if indigent clients whom need their specific services but can't afford them. Kind of like BMR (Below market Rate) apartments that companies are forced to make avail if they wanna keep builing in CA.
No lie 3.5 million, I would have took it. Not knowing I could have won 23 million but coming from poverty that's enough to set my daughter up and any kids she have, it could be the beginning of generational wealth. Glad they won that much even tho it don't bring bck a loved one.
A word of advice from a former nursing home employee: Visit your loved ones often at any care facility, including the hospital & rehab. If you go every week switch up the days. Show up at different times. Try to go during meal times. Do not be predictable. Do not be afraid to speak up. Ask questions. Pay attention to them. If they start to decline shortly after admission, something might be amiss. You might not get an answer depending on your relationship to the resident/patient due to HIPAA, but it sends a signal that that person has people who care. That tends to deter abuse. Some families do have to send loved ones to the nursing home. There are good homes out there. Do your research.
My grandmother was in a nursing home by her choice until she passed in August 2022. She knew we had families and jobs. All she asked was that we never forgot about her. So my dad cooked home cooked meals for her 2 to 3 times per week, and I washed her clothes weekly and refreshed her snacks and toiletries monthly. I can say this, when staff knows the family is highly involved, the fewer issues you will have. Because we were on their asses like white on rice, and they fixed them immediately!
You've got a wonderful family. She must have been a great mother and grandmother to you all, and I'm glad you looked after her. Being abandoned is a terrifying thought for most elderly people, and it's heartbreaking. You all are good people.
Respect to you for your care. My first wife ran and owned with her parents a 50 bed assisted living facility and banned a husband from visiting his wife because he complained about her care. I was in the middle of divorcing this woman and he called me begging me to intervene on his behalf but I knew if I said something he absolutely wouldn't have a chance. I told him to contact the county authorities and the news media.
I was a CNA for awhile. If you have to put your loved one in a home, please be very involved with their care. And make sure the staff knows it. Plus please put cameras in their rooms. It's your right and they can't refuse you. They run on a shoestring budget, even the high end ones. We were so overwhelmed. I loved that job, but I just couldn't take the workload or the low pay
Be careful regarding cameras. You need to check the laws of your state regarding recording otherwise you run the risk of being sued for wiretapping or having your evidence thrown out.
Thank you for being a CNA. I'm a quad, and without you folks, I'd be dead. When I broke my neck I was sent to a "rehab". It was a nursing home which had absolutely no rehab facility, It was also a really bad nursing home where things were really bad. My bed was right next to a window which had a corner broken out of it. Mice and rats would run in through it and and right over me. Once in a while a rat would stop and take a bite out of me. I could scream at the top of my lungs but there was no one to hear because they were so understaffed that there was no one on the hall to hear me. Male residents knew that there was no one on the hall, and I got raped repeatedly. I wanted out, but they would not let me go, so I had to sue for my freedom. I got out, but the home was fined only $500 for what they did. I know that you are speaking the absolute truth because it rings so true with my experience. There were a lot more problems going on there than what I"ve described here. Thre were some things which were absolutely horrendous. Your job was an impossible one, but I thank you for trying. I should say that I am now at home, and my home health aides, all CNA's are angels working for far less pay than they're worth. I remember cards that the company which ran the home I was in gave to its staff. Some of the things which were on it were unconscionable. "Fill the beds and keep them full." "Rake in the cash." Not one thing about taking care of patients. As for the State, I watched money change hands when the inspectors came in, then as soon as the money was counted, the inspectors left. That place was a nightmare. A real nightmare, and I can't begin to say all that I saw. Those of us who had no family were at the mercy of a predatory system which just didn't care about anything but money.
@@CatmanBill The Assisted Living where my two siblings tricked our Mom to going (supposedly for rehab after a medical procedure, but she graduated from rehab within days and rehab said she could go home; but my sibling declared to Mom that she was going to stay their "till infinity" and that the facility would be her home) does not allow cameras.
After watching this, I can almost be grateful that my mother passed away last year from cancer and never reached the point where assisted living or a nursing home even was an issue. My dad is now nearly 80 and lives with me and I will do everything I can to make sure that he will never leave the home that he loves.
My Dad died in his home of a heart attack but my mother, in spite of my best efforts, ended up in an assisted living facility. The facility was even owned by my wife and I (and operated by my wife) and my wife's parents. Even there she could not get the level of care and quality of life that I wanted for her. My wife worked full time there Monday through Friday and popped in weekends and I hired a person to stay with her during the day and also drive her around but at night our staff simply did not provide good care no matter what I did. Prior to that she lived in her home next to mine and I hired 24 hour staff but that ended up being a nightmare. With three young kids, a wife that didn't take care of them (I was the primary caregiver), staying with my mom, and me working a demanding full time job from home to support my family, even the best I could do was not enough. My wish is to go like my dad did, just die quickly and not have to go through that especially since I am not wealthy and don't want to be a burden upon my kids.
I'm so proud of the workers who brought attention to the horrific issues and especially talking to the families.. the world needs more people like you! God Will Bless You All 🙏❤️🙏
Exactly!!! Lots DON'T wanna speak up cause there scared for there own income status or don't care at all. Most walk around laughing, chit chatting & on there phones! Then when u come get one for help they kick rocks, and sigh or act like u shiet in there cereal.
I agree. When I answered important questions asked by family members with elderly residents at the facility I worked at, the owner fired me. The owner would tell me to answer the phone and tell those who ask for her, family of residents, that she was not at the facility. I didn’t answer the phone. The owner was a sheep in wolfs clothing. On top of that, she is a Johova witness.
I'm 95 and my daughter looks after me. I'm fairly independent and when I suggest I enter an assisted living facility to free up her life, she says "Trust me, dad, you will not be happy there." After reading the comments here, I understand why she said it. Great video.
Yes, Recognize that happening when you age and God is on the throne, They will Reap what they have sown in these places,You will never be sorry for keeping your loved ones.
Here in the Philippines, we take care of our parents when they grow old. They stay with us in our own homes until they die. We have a culture of loving and caring for our elders.
Unfortunately, most people work full time in the U.S. (duel income families) and are not home to be able to care for and keep an eye out of their elderlies. In addition, hiring full-time live-in elderly "yayas" are very expensive especially if they are experienced in elder care. Labor is way cheaper in the Philippines so hiring several "yayas" is a lot more affordable. I have seen a Filipino elderly here in the US who had dementia and the son could not afford putting her in an assisted/memory care. He would just lock her inside her home and would only bring her supplies. The neglect was very sad.
Yes. Or Bring Caregivers Home. Even If They Can Afford One On One Caregivers While Their Parent Lives With Them, They Will Prefer Putting Their Parents In Nursing Homes
Things are going to change in America. Cures! Keeping people at home. We have to go back to one income being enough to support the family, so one parent can stay home. No one will care for your children, your parents, your pets better than you.
My mother was adamant about never going into a nursing home!! I was happy to grant her wish!! I found a wonderful person to move in and live with her. She died in her home!! It was the least I could do for her, she took care of me when I was helpless!! I was proud to do the same for her!!
I tell my kids when this subject comes up, 'I took care of you when you didn't know me, I protected you against everything/ everyone, never put you in daycare. Please remember this.
My mom did get to die in her own house. I had a talk with her before that and she was contemplating nursing home and I said mom think about this. You and Kenny got this place to live and die there. In the end she died where her husband slept in the bed and died. I wish she wasn't alone tho. 😪 I miss my Mom.
I can relate to this having Mom in an assisted-living facility for almost two years. Her health rapidly declined, her personal hygiene degraded, she had fallen and broken her hip, she was medically overdosed, and the facility was gravely understaffed. We visited her practically daily and one Sunday, a visiting priest told us to consider placing her in hospice due to her condition. We pulled Mom out immediately and she lived another three fruitful years with us earning her wings at 89.
Yeah but it's pretty consistent. Per the video, assisted care facilities blew up in the 90s - meaning boomers were putting their parents into them. Now boomers are being put into them.
My Mom had a pressure ulcer. We were caring for her at home, with visits by home health-care aides and nurses. They had a wound-care specialist nurse come in and dress the wound (a complicated process) several times a week. They prescribed a medical cushion to alleviate as much pressure as possible, since she was immobile. The family made sure she walked, changed positions, etc. Any time we were concerned, the nurse came out. She had bath aides and other specialized health care by professionals. Her care was outstanding. The fees were modest. I'm thankful she never ended up in one of these nightmare facilities. I can't even imagine the suffering our vulnerable elders are enduring. In some of these business models, they're victims of parasitic greed.
Where I live, that's the stabdard/right for everyone.. you can even get help at home by trained staff when pregnant or sick, you don't have to be elderly.. I worked with it & I loved it! The lack off time was terrible. Bcs we were SO understaffed. But I loved to learn to know theese elderly people, to come there (and to be wanted) & when they started to like you.. so little ment so mutch for most people. Ofc there are bad situations, clients who abuse you by being a bully or physical abuse gowards you.. But with some you got to a more friendship level. They wanted YOU to come, the smile when they saw who came, and when they would ask when you would be comming next. It was great & so heartbreaking at the same time! Over here the goal is to have the elderly to live at home, in their own home as long as possible. And things needed to make tjis possible are provided for you. You need a ramp bcs you are now in a wheelchair? No problem, it will be installed for you. You have a bad wound? We will sent out specialist wound care nurses to your home. Need a doctor? No problem, she will be comming by your place.. Have cancer, diabetes, bad sight, had a stroke? A specalist cancer, diabetes nurse will be provided for you. Need that extra help or rehab, you will get ergo & physiotherapists provided for you. And other appliances made to help people with certan issues. Like hearing aid.. Some things are free, others have a small fee, but we have a cost-cealing. When you reach a certain ammount in costs for care/ aid/medicine etc, it will be free from there on to the end off the year..
@@maryreynolds8568 that's what family is for. When I was born, I needed all types of attention 24/7 and I received it from both my parents. They never let me or my siblings down and we will not let them down either. We might need to make some minor adjustments here and there but my parents will not go into a facility.
@@olchat2012 You are so blessed to be able to do that. Unfortunately, I have lung disease in an advanced stage. I can hardly get up without having severe breathlessness. If I had the money, I'd move Mom here and have home care. But, that's way beyond the budget. I even considered having them only 8-10 hours per day, but if she fell or needed any type of physical assistance we'd be in big trouble. I can't even cook my own meals. Please consider that not everyone's family is able to care for them, even though they want to. It hurts to not be able to do so. My mother is in a very nice place, and we have friends that visit once a week, my husband visits her.
My late mate had lung cancer & throat cancer & they did that for him too , home care , it was extra nice ! & appreciated, ty nurses that did that . 👨🍳👩🍳
I was in assisted living for 6 months. I fell nearly daly, they recorded 8 falls. Had an obstruction that kept me from emptying my stomach and was dropping over 5 lbs a week and vomiting after each meal they bullied me into eating, my hair was falling out. Finally, I found a PA who listened to me and not the employees who said that I was making a big deal out of nothing. I had a precancerous tumor, the size and shape of a cigar removed. They didn't know I was even gone! this was supposed to be a nice place. I'd shoot myself before I go through that again.
@@andrewflores17 If the falls are what you are focusing on, I sat in a wheel chair except when in therapy. I could get so dizzy that I could take a wheelchair over. the falls diminished greatly when the stomach surgery was done.
I worked in a nursing home years ago, the way people were treated was appalling! I went into private in home care for 11 years.Honestly the best care is one on one or with a trained in home staff.The seniors are precious, their mistreatment is disgusting
Finding good people in private in-home care is difficult to find too. Staff like to stay on their cell phones stolen from the families that hire them, so up late to report to work and are lazy too. The pay rate is low for the caretakers as the companies they work for take most of the pay.
It is disgusting and they sit in their filth and have huge coding violations. And it does stink. Of pee, death etc. Infections etc. It is horrific. I need to take this chance and become a manager and or owner and an inspector
@@grandmanancy4719 they let them sit in their filth and they can't change themselves and excuses if why their forced to wait,. Intentionally diddle daddle and force medications to residents that is not needed.
Former assisted living care staff here: When we got too "close" to the residents, when we actually cared for them as if they were our own family, we were reprimanded and eventually fired. We were often told that we were spending too much time with any one resident. I had to leave the care profession because I felt that I wasn't able to properly care for the residents, and it was taking a toll on my mental health. I loved the residents like they were my family, and I was reprimanded for it. I just couldn't do it anymore.
This Shameful greedy industry with a reputation of overpriced , horror stories of abuse, neglectful services ,inexperienced uncaring staffs .....I wish state inspections do more before someone dies, and have undercover and surveillance cameras to keep them accountable. So expensive it’d be better to hire qualified people like you to work at their homes.
Thanks for speaking up. I live in asst living in Utah. My CNA’s and Med techs are so good to us. We appreciate their personal connections. It is so hard on us when they quit for better income and better circumstances. Like teachers, they are so veryunder valued and I’m underpaid . 😢 sad
I don't blam you...... I'm a quadriplegic and I'm currently in one. I finally had enough of the constant verbal abuse I'm subjected to on a daily basis and listening to the other residents receiving the same verbal abuse... I"m currently in the process of moving into a good skilled nursing facility that I rehabbed in 6 years ago. I was in another one previous to this one because my POA's mother was in there... It was an f-ing nightmare... I was jerked up by my arm and then body slammed into my chair on my second day there--the workers barely spoke English if at all. I was hurt daily sometimes multiple times every day for 4 months I was forced to go in a facility due to my losing caregivers due to covid... If I had stayed any longer I would've found a way to commit suicide. One year later I'm still recovering from the physical damage, some of which will be permanent. There were roaches and ants everywhere, the smell of urine was pretty strong... my POAS could not visit due to the covid locked down so they could not see it for themselves. It took a home visiting nurse that they sent to confirm everything I was telling them and more-I mean how can people know their relative or friend is being abused during lockdowns??. My current place didn't hurt me but they do yell, scream and lecture the residents for the smallest infractions that they couldn't help it. And if anybody starts crying the workers get doubly pissed off and they're demanded to stop crying why hurling insults and criticisms at them... like that's going to help... While we were under a 2 month long lockdown, I was going stark raving mad from the lack of intelligent conversation and no physical contact beyond the barest minimum care-- I get maybe 30 minutes of care in a 24-hour period, which usually involved being lectured, yelled and screamed at... ... I craved hugs and cuddles. When they open up and my friends can visit I"m going to tell the workers to go f- themselves I don't give a damn about social distancing I'm getting my damn hugs and cuddles in. During my 1 and half year stay in assisted living, I started asking questions about their training only to find out they are no more qualified to work with any resident in any facility much less flip burgers at a fast food place. And they work with highly vulnerable people with special needs with zero training and zero supervision. My POA is reluctantly honoring my request to be moved to a nursing home and after he watched this documentary he's now fully on board. There have been good workers but they don't last very long because they're reprimanded for getting too involved and spending too much time with residents that may need a little more attention and they're paid minimum wage... not enough to survive on.... After I get a book I've written closely based on my childhood edited and published I'm going to write a book on my experiences in the home healthcare system and the assisted living system, and its not gonna be pretty. I'm sorry that you were forced out for doing what families have trusted the facility to do... It's sad really that the ones who stay in that form of work don't care .... they're practically getting away with murder in one form or another... I don't know what else to call it and nothing is done about it... IF I hadn't had my long hair cut off because they kept jerking my head aroun, injuring my neck further at that last place I was in while they were 'caring' for my hair, I swear they would've broken my neck again before I got out of there. I have a lot of pent-up anger and frustrations with the ALF system that I can barely think straight anymore and I'm eager to get out of here... I haven't informed the owner or the manager of my plan, because my instincts tell me that's the best course of action, but in the meantime, I'm glad this documentary popped up....
It's the same with the good nurses here in Ireland. The good ones are leaving 😢 because they're over worked and not allowed get close to their patients. Long go the medical profession was more caring. The young Dr's are not near as good or caring as tge older Dr's. If modern Dr's hadn't Google I don't know what they'd do. Tge older generation of Dr's had to use their brains. Once medical care becomes private it becomes abusive because it becomes all about the €€££$$ and making money for the shareholders and pension funds.
I am so so sorry. I've only worked with children. It is the same. The individual's capability and value was unreconized. I love you and yours. No matter what. Love, Sherry
Sad but true. This is the reality. As a former nurse working in a LTC facility, this story is 100% accurate. Never enough staff. Too few care aids and nurses, and too many "Managers".
Yes ! most facilities are very top heavy. Office lounge lizards only see them when corporate people are there. Actually worked at a place that had more management than aids during the day. If you can't take care of your loved one by yourself how can you expect one aid to care for 30 residents. People are delusional. Health care system is broken control by corporations.
My mother was my world, my rock and best friend. I never even once thought about pu6her in any nursing home. I kept her home, with watching every move the home health aides did. She was bed bound, and we had aides for 24/7 I had the best doctor's coming to see her, and they all told me, if it wasn't for me she wouldn't be alive. "A mother is like no other, she gave me life, and it was my turn, to make sure she was alive and well" my mother died in 2013, and my life completely changed. I miss her so much♥️🙏IF I HAD THE OPPORTUNITY I WOULD DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN......TO HAVE HER IN MY LIFE AND TAKE CARE OF HER LIKE I DID.♥️🙏♥️🙏♥️🙏♥️🙏♥️
What a loving memory of you n your lovely mom, now she's gone n so I would not feel ok if I didn't share a scripture with you one that I read so often because I too lost a loving mom. I always say God could not have given me the best parents in the world. But this scripture brings me comfort knowing that God does not lie. John 5:28-29, Don't just read it for yourself but do the research n I'm sure when you find the truth your heart will fill with joy. Thank you for Sharing your experience.
@@bobink123 What a blessing & A Genuine Loving Experience to last you a life time, Somethings in life many dont appreciate. What a heart you have n that what God looks at, because in reality our hearts are treacherous because of sin n imperfection, but when you go out your way to care for a Love one God will draw close to you and look out for you. Thanks for Sharing 👍😏
Isn't it obvious by now that your lord isn't having mercy on any one in these hellholes???? Follow the money. Unless & until more Americans do that, prayers aren't going to change anything.
I've worked in assisted living facilities for over 5 years. Everything these caregivers were saying was 100% correct, I've witnessed it first hand as well. Admitting people who have needs that go beyond what assisted living is supposed to do, firing people that make complaints about residents that need too much care, constantly short staffed, and the pay for the increased work load is insulting.
Yes Lord you are so right..I'm still in the healthcare business and I try my best to look out for the residents but when the company just cares about the money how much strength I drange out my body and soul each day for my residents I can't even believe but at the end of the day I go and let God use me....
Agreed.. I've been a caregiver for 26 years... Never got paid a living wage. I loved my job - I loved my residents. But, companies like Emertus only love one thing - MONEY. I worked in admissions at a nursing home. I lasted two days. All they cared about was "filling beds". I cared about the PEOPLE - this was a conflict of interest with the company I worked for! I quit admissions because I felt like I was part of the problem.. I couldn't ethnically do the job. This is heartbreaking for most of the caregivers who truly care about the elderly. We feel so hopeless..
Some things just shouldn't be profit driven, they want to capitalism the hell out of a car or a phone or whatever, fine. But anything to do with caring for humans should not be solely focused on money.
This is still too common. When my mom were in assistants living facility, she said it was worse than prison. Profit over people dignity. We bury our mom one week ago. Lord, I miss mom!
Families do it for the right reasons, out of love and respect for the parents. I believe these places need regulations and discuss with the people placing the parents in the homes what they can expect in regards to the person, a clean room and bathroom. Watch their mental and physical state. Their meals have a menu,helps those that prepared the meals a guide for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The types of food the residents can eat and drink. After meals rest and take care of their bathroom business, then rest or go out side to exercise and relax listen to radio or watch TV.
As a former CNA that worked in an assisted living, I can confirm that. We were so overworked , that it was impossible to provide quality care. There is so much unreported abuse and management just sweeps it under. I loved my residents but I knew they were not getting the care they needed or deserved.
I was a caregiver for 12 years. Alzheimer's and Dementia was my expertise. I worked with clients(became adopted family) not only in their homes but at facilities. This is so true and yet so heartbreaking!
Coming from a nurse, whose spouse and son are also nurses, this documentary is quite spot on. I applaud you for making these cases known to a wider audience. Many, many people go into healthcare for the wrong reasons; sounds like the big corps who own assisted living as some of those folks. Thank you for taking the time to make this amazing piece of work.
I used to be a state nursing home investigator. Independent living is far less regulated but read up on the laws and regulations they operate under. Ask to see state or local inspection reports. Periodically review your loved ones records. Be on a first name basis with the administrator and Director of Nursing. If laws permit it, consider a nanny cam. Know what medications are being given. Connect with family of other residents, and agree to look in on each other’s loved ones when visiting. Most senior living staff are dedicated but are understaffed, ask if there’s anything you can do to help out with your loved one.
That is the most solid piece of advice I have seen. I hope others take the time to read it as it is spot on with all of it. Coincidentally I just made a Sunshine Request to the State to get all the records I can.
My mother-in-law was incontinent and was having trouble making meals, showers, and getting around generally. They admitted her into assisted living, I expressed concern to my husband and sisters-in-laws to no avail. Three days in the assisted living facility she was found on the floor of her room, ended up in a nursing home and died a week later. Assisted living facilities are more concerned about money and numbers and don't turn away residents that cannot live safely in an assisted living facility. It's a big problem. Thank you addressing this issue.
My aunt was in a nursing home, with full-blown dementia. She was supposed to be watched at all times, but somehow she got out of her room and fell down the stairs and died.
@@Me-lb8nd so true it all about the money 💰 and they don't pay those patients no attention that would be the last choice l would make but some time you have to do what you have to do God take care of us all
When our dad was diagnosed with cancer, there was talk about putting him into a nursing facility. I made it clear that would happen over my dead body! We settled on hospice care in his home. The hospice care nurse was wonderful. He died during the night a week later, in the comfort of his own bed with US in the residence.
I had the chance to experience this with my Grandma in Assisted Living, who passed away at 93 after living in 2 different facilities for 7 years. What's strange is the way that the facilities treat the families of residents. The families are looked at as the enemy of the facility. Countless times workers at the facility were accepting cash tips from my Grandma for coming by to do things that are required of them. They got so relaxed with it that when I would be visiting and they would come by, they wouldn't leave until my Grandma fetched the cash to pay them, they didn't even care that I was standing in front of them. It turns out that it was illegal what they were doing, one of the "Nurses" was fired because of it. It didn't skip a beat and it continued to the end. When my Grandma passed away they ransacked her room for valuables, purses and other things that they had their eyes in waiting for her to pass away. It was a disgusting situation.
Thank you. So many on here responding differently, but those of us who have been through it and aren't employed by the facilities know the truth. Most of the time, nurses and aides can be found at the desk, around the rotunda, gossiping and ignoring call buttons.
That IS illegal. I’m a caregiver and we had a guy with dementia who loved to tip. It made him feel good, and when I denied his tip, his whole demeanor changed, he treated me like I thought he was beneath me, and that wasn’t my intention. I spoke with his family, who had no idea their dad HAD wads of hundreds in his room, much less tipping the staff with $100 bills! We came up with a plan, to get him stage money. That way, he could continue to flex his wealth, without actually loosing any money, or being taken advantage of. Also, I encourage anyone who is making the tough decision to place a family member with dementia to switch out their jewelry for costume jewelry. Weight loss is a definite, and they can loose their rings and watches without noticing , and when they are confused, they tend to share items, or give items to other residents to make friends. Not to mention some staff are thieves. This way you can keep priceless family heirlooms in the family
Ben, I'm sitting here reading this with my mouth open in shock!!! That type of behavior disgusts me to my core! I've worked in 2 facilities as a nurse aide and if I would've witnessed this, you can bet that I would've called admin or even the police. I'm so sorry this happened to her.
This is absolutely disgusting of them to do. I had worked as a CNA for 8 years, a few of those years I was a travel CNA in the state of Iowa. I can't say I have ever seen anybody act like that, however I would absolutely turn them in or even call the state. Working as a cna that is hired through a 3rd party, most nursing homes cared very little about what I had to say. I found it to be the worst in the really small towns where their budgets are even smaller. I'd go out of my way every day to help my residents, sometimes it was something as simple as stopping by their room, finding out what kind of cookie or snack they would like and the going to get it. Never in a million years would I have thought of demanding money from my residents, making them happy as a result of my actions was payment enough for me. I got into that line of work to make positive impacts on the lives of the elderly and to hopefully make their lives a little bit easier. I've told my own mother that I will never put her into a nursing home. When you work in them, you see a completely different side of the industry, where residents are mainly just dollar signs. As a travel aide, I felt it was my duty to report these nursing homes for things they were or were not doing. Unfortunately the people I worked with who were employed through the facility often felt it was better to not say anything. Not that I agree, but I can see why. There are so many things wrong in this industry, I tried to make the biggest difference I could, but eventually I had to get out..thankfully that was right before covid
Mortician here. I often pick up bodies from assisted living and staff are impossible to find. Was there after midnight once and I wandered thru the facility alone for 30 min. I walked from the street into the unlocked bldg and poked around in the kitchen, front office, game room and basement until I found staff watching movies.
This is gross. Some things should not be turned into business. Schools, healthcare, senior homes.. it’s disgusting. Imagine being ok with getting rich off of this? We as a species need to grow out of this greed or else we surely will disappear and for good reason.
I just QUIT a private home last week!!!! I was with these Precious residents, PEOPLE!! Seniors that deserve the Best Level of RESPECT and DIGNITY, they were not giving, I was there 2 days, NEVER RETURNED!! I didn’t bother calling who hired me, although I did make some calls!!!!!
This family is 100 % correct. Every facility my husband was in had the same problems. I am a retired RN,BSN.with over 40 yrs. Of experience. Sadly,even after paying thousands each month, the facilities were nightmares.
So true. I have been working ALF's for close to 10 years now and totally agree with you. Though I've seen some real kind and knowledgeable caregivers I Also know that the reverse is true. Let's remember that to marketers it's about the money. It's big business. So sad!
Mother was at a facility, I was out of town for a few days, I returned and called only to find out she went into a coma two days earlier. No one called me when it happened. She passed about 20 minutes after our visit. I won't ever trust these places again.
My wife and I are 82. Living in a 3 BR home in central Florida. We have considered to move to an Independent Living Home with attached Assisted Living option. The Independent place cost $6,000/month for one person. Less for the second person. No claim of any assistance except food. Any help from nurses, doctors, etc would be extra and need to be arranged by us. Our only son died (cancer) recently. Other relatives are far away. We are looking at our options and listening to this video is part of that effort.
@@mikewatt8706 Sadly, that's true. When I was working as an in-home caregiver, I heard of a couple of other caregivers who had stolen their client's credit cards and gone on a shopping spree at his expense. That made me very angry, as that behavior and similar gives home healthcare a bad name and makes people reluctant to hire any of us. Those two were caught, however, and held accountable (a rare event in today's justice system). That's why I encourage anyone considering hiring home health aides to thoroughly vet them. Demand references, check police records, consult with their schools or training facilities, interview them and trust your instincts. And, KEEP A CLOSE EYE ON THEM!
I put my mom in high end assisted living TEMPORARILY, so I could get my apartment ready for her to live with me. She went in on a Friday, late afternoon. They told me not to visit for 3 days so she could get acclimated to their schedule. On Tuesday, I walked in and found her in a coma with blood on her sheets. Saturday night, she was dead. Cause of death- dehydration, pneumonia, sepsis- all from neglect. Bottom line- they are LYING when they tell you they will take care of your loved one. They want your money. They won't sue me for defamation because I have all the proof- even the bloody sheets- and the hospital has photos of the cuts on her feet that were never treated leading to sepsis- and the only way a 92 yr old can die of dehydration is if water is withheld for 3 days.
Omg! That is horrific. I'm sorry 😞 you had to go thru that. It appears that they had no incentive to keep her alive and thriving since they knew she was only going to be there temporarily. God bless your Mom. You must miss her terribly.
Places like the assisted living facility your Mom was at will keep neglecting and abusing elders until they are STOPPED. The only way to stop them is to hold them accountable both criminally (when applicable) and through filing civil lawsuits. File a report with your state's Dept. of Human Services. Under state law, they must investigate and document it. (Maybe you have already done this?) Please look for a good law firm who has a good attorney who will give you a free consultation, then take the case pro bono (where you don't have to pay any legal fees) or on contingency (you pay legal fees if you win). You can try to report this to your state's attorney general, but if he/she is a Republican, good luck. You can also try talking to your state senators and representatives. Chances are, your state already has laws and regulations that are supposed to prevent things like this from happening, so I don't know if politicians and legislators can do much. I think a good attorney is what you need. I am terribly sorry for what happened to your Mom and to you. My hope is that some good can come from it and that the assisted living facility will be held fully accountable.
I worked in nursing homes and assisted livings as a maintenance director. The nursing assistants and housekeeping staff are usually overworked, under paid and their work unappreciated. They love and care for their residents as much as any nurse or doctor. The mantra in that industry is "bodies in beds". I worked in 2 Emeritus facilities. In both buildings they completely cut out the housekeeping and laundry staff. The nursing assistants were expected to provide care to their assigned residents, clean the rooms, do their laundry and were expected to vacuum the hallways in front of their residents rooms! It doesn't have to be this way and not all countries are like this. As long as we expect for profits to provide this care or healthcare in general this is what we and our loved ones will get. We all must take some responsibility for this. None of us would be willing to or could pay extra taxes into a system that would provide quality care. It's not just shame on them it's also shame on us.
Just the same as in any business. I feel bad for McDonalds cashiers, taking my order at the same time taking drive thru orders through the headphone set on their head. AND wearing a damn mask!
Yup. My gf worked in an "assisted living" home for about 10 years. She ofter would break down crying when she got home and told me how terrible the day was. Majority of the time she couldn't even take a lunch break. I eventually talked her into quitting the job.
@@mattzilla331 I'm glad she got out of there Matt. I'm sitting here almost frozen in horror for when I visit my mom in September 500 miles away in a memory care unit. Last year I couldn't get in because they have shut the place down because of the covid case. Nobody in or out. It's really rough talking to her on the phone. With the Alzheimer's and such. I really just want to see her legs and arms and stomach and back. I want to see her sheets. I think every child that has a mother or father in these facilities should inspect at least twice a week (if that option exists). If it's your partner then certainly you're going to be there.
I'm a practical Nurse. We are expected to be everything at once, nurse, doctor, tv repair man, chef, cleaner/housekeeper, therapist, fysiotherapist, electricians, plumbers, accountant, personal assistant and so on.. As soon as a problem appears, for some reason, people think that the nursing staff should be the ones fixing it.. It's somehow my job to fix your dads TV?! Though it's explained carefully what's to be expected from the staff & what's included & not in the price. Many things are not possible for us to do. Bcs as nurses we are there to do a certain job, & if we dont do it, no one will. Demand is high & resorces really low.. So we HAVE to focus our resorces on being a nurse bcs thats why we are there & that demand & need from our clients never goes away. This understaffing seems to be an issue everywhere in the world, bad wages are the the 1st reason, 2 is the demand. 3 the lack off support & having a huge responsability, so we get thrown under the bus, after working an impossible situation, getting burned out for yeears & years. You get fed up & leave the profession. And when things are so bad & you think that things just can't get any worse. BOOM they suddely cut the budget even more, plus some other stupid change that makes our work even more impossible to carry out in a proper way.. To everyday go home feeling bad, sad & angry. You feel ashamed over your work. You work yourself to death & it's dosent matter. If you fell down dead on the spot, your boss would probably criticize for "not being able to stand against dying, so lazy!" Somehow it comes down to one thing, society really don't care about our elders. We have different systems, different countries, different continets.. But in many ways (not all) the issues are the same.
So sad, the way our elders with money are treated, IMAGINE what it must be like in a place for assisted living guests who can not afford $3,000 +/monthly.
Dad had dementia. 7000 a month. . 13 months he lasted. If I live long enough and develop dementia I pray for a moment of clarity . This way I can blow my own head off, so to take comfort in knowing Granger Cobbs of the world won't profit
Andy…pls don’t say that! Your life matters..you might think it doesn’t but with an act like that you leave people behind that have to remember you going in that matter. Pls don’t
There are other countries with better senior care than the US. Plan now. Your are valuable and needed. I feel your fear but you DO have optiins. Try to find a partner
I worked at a assisted living center for one day. It was awful! The co workers where beyond rude and so rude to the people living there! I worked in the kitchen and I watched a woman sit and yell at a patient because they simply asked what time dinner was and what was for dinner. I couldn’t work there
Where .I was fir 5 nightmare months they served pork choos, hard as a rock with only a spoon. They served a ball of chicken salad on a scrap of lettuce. It was red….cayenne red to be exact. They did this several times…because. they could. My roommate was blind. Half the time they didn’t open her milk or anything else. She barely ate because she couldn’t see what was on her plate.
@@maryreynolds8568 no…people researching nursing homes and assisted living facilities go to the facility’s website where that sweet old lady with the joyful smile is posing under a straw hat with a flower she’s planting in a window box…you know that resident..lhealthy, well fed and living the life of her dreams in Hapoymont…where patient care is the highest priority……..some allow questions or comments but delete anything negative. I actually posted the styrofoam containers of slop they served for Christmas on the website. It was immediately taken down. Couodn’t find that sweet, happy resident that day. Maybe she went home for Christmas.
I am a former CNA--worked in a rehab, nursing home, that had assisted living. It was a nightmare. Chronically understaffed!! Very often I was the ONLY person on the swing shift to take care of 44 patients!!! One night it was 88! Walking off the job, in OREGON even due to understaffing is tantamount to "patient abandonment. I turned in my own employer and still the state did zero!! I secretly encouraged families to make complaints to the state just so that investigators would come out to see for themselves! It was horrifying. I had been in the medical field 23 years, and was studying to get my RN license, and was functioning as a CMA finally in the assisted living side. I had to beg four RN's to allow me to call an ambulance for a patient who was suffering from chest pain and shortness of breath. I knew he was having problems, as I watched his vital signs change and he was going down hill. I knew he was dying on me. He was NOT DNR either. Finally when paramedics did come, he died for 15 seconds according the EKG monitor, then bam, they managed to save him, and rushed him to the hospital. Later this same patient thanked me for saving his life. In 2018 my own mother passed away from 17 medical errors that were made causing her death. The biggest one, a misdiagnosis of a cyst on her kidney. My mother suffered in pain and felt terrible. She lost her ability to walk, and became incontinent. She wound up falling and going to the hospital ER, she contracted a hospital acquired infection which almost killed her. Then she was shipped off to a nursing home, which had a hoyer accident and tore her rotator cuff in several places. They nearly dehydrated her to death. I had to call 911 and have paramedics rescue her from the nursing home and take her to the ER, where they refused to do any type of scans or MRI to diagnoses her injuries. She was clearly bruised up. She was shipped off to another nursing home, and they tried to force her to rehabilitate torn rotator cuff until she could no longer voluntarily raise her arm. I heard screams coming from PT, and found that they had secured her arm with weights and were forcing her to raise her arm with the use of a mechanical weight machine. Each time her arm was raised over her head she screamed in pain. The Floor RN refused to give her prescribed pain medications. He also refused her life saving asthma inhaler, "Maybe I should just let you suffocate, Mrs. ". So now I had to stay by her side on a cot next to her bed. I caught this RN--taunting my mother, holding her medication out of reach, "Do you want something for pain, oh guess not...you cannot reach it, too bad, guess you cannot reach your inhaler either..." I raised up off of that cot, which had been out of his eye sight with the quiet fury of a mama bear protecting her cubs and ordered that nut to give my mother her medications before I called the police and had him arrested for attempted murder. Even though I complained as did my Dad, the facility did zero!! After my mother collapsed, she was back in the hospital with a basketball sized growth slightly off to the side of her gut. She had a giant tumor! It was cancer of course. She was dying, we could see this of course. She was in total agony. I asked for pain meds, and was told her doctor was worried about her becoming addicted!! I was her health representative, and ordered she be put on pain meds and hospice. She died in another care home, we were forced to put her in, about 6 weeks later. I am still haunted by the last 3 months of my mother's life and the crappy care she got for all the huge amount of money my Dad paid for insurance premiums, co-pays, and private money paid. There are vet offices who treat pets better than the way my MOM is treated. OUR medical system is broken! A person has to be smarter than their MD, and have a family member who knows the ins and outs of the insurance system, and medical system to aid their loved one. Do not, do not for one minute leave your loved one unattended in any nursing home, or care facility or rehab center, or Medical foster care home, or hospice center, or hospital. There always needs to be an educated, advocate, who has Power of Attorney, and is legally the medical designated person to make decisions staying with that hospitalized person 24/7/365. I will not to to an ER, I refuse. I have my own BP cuff, oximeter, glucose meter, inhalation machine and meds and epi pens, and the works. I treat myself at home. I have almost died in an ER--twice due to malpractice. My own sister had to use my own EPI pens and inhalers to treat me while I was in the ER bay due to mismanagement of the ER. MY own MD gets this! I will ONLY go to an ER if one of my limbs is physically amputated, I have been shot and cannot remove the bullet myself, or have a stab wound that has injured an internal organ. I will stitch up my cuts. I feel for these people, I started crying--and I wanted to tell MY story--so people would understand that I really do understand, and why I got so emotional listening to this program and it caused me to really cry, and almost vomit. I am so sorry for these people! My heart just goes out to them!!! I am praying for them. I did forgive all those who harmed my mother, so that I could have some peace. I did write complaints, however, as a family we did not sue. Instead we asked for a medical records autopsy. The place that cared for her, was a huge Medical HMO--we pleaded with them to educate themselves. This did generate phones calls of sympathy and absolute shock and horror at what had happened to my mother. It is 2022 now, and it is still spoken of by some of my current physicians, and they tell me, my mother's case is still being used as a teaching case of WHAT NOT to DO to a patient! This is far better than a lawsuit in my eyes. Much better than a fine. I think this year I finally got over the anger of her death and blaming myself. I still miss my dear mother, and my Mom and Dad were married 56 years! I see my DAD twice a week, he is still in mourning. I love him dearly! My siblings are still in different stages of grief. God bless you and thanks for this program. thanks for giving a me a forum to share my story!
Thank you for sharing your story. It’s heartbreaking but helpful to those of us who are approaching old age and to those who have older relatives. The medical system is not out to help it’s mostly out to harm.
My mother is in a nursing facility, she says the food is horrible, and I know it is,it's so understaffed that she has to wait for everything.I wish she didn't have to be there but she has to be.I wish I could win the lottery and bring her home...
Thank you for sharing yours, and your mother's experience. It is utterly unconscionable what she was put through. And you and your father! I am incredibly angry and sorrowful for the hellish pain and trauma! These are the times when what I wish for most is that God would somehow reward these beasts of evil with the exact same treatment they gave to others. I am not a vindictive person, but I have no sympathy or compassion for such actions and attitudes. Whatever your beliefs, I want to share my testimony that your dear mother was embraced by The Lord Himself in His complete and all encompassing arms of mercy and love, when she passed on. I pray that you and your father will be blessed with an increase of strength and relative peace that will sustain you both. You are incredibly brave to allow your decisions to be ones of teaching to those medical personnel who have heard of this tragedy. That is an amazing act of selflessness, in my opinion! I pray that you will TRUELY forgive yourself of the guilt you feel regarding it all. You are 1 human trying to deal with so many layers of a broken system of greed and of inexplicable apathy and cruelty, that is beyond the imagination of decent, civilized human beings. I DO NOT HAVE WORDS THAT ARE ADEQUATE by any means. Please know I will pray for you and your father, and any others who loved your mother as well! Take very good care of you, both! God Bless you with the comfort of His Holy Spirit. 🕊💞
My heart breaks for you. I know you speak the truth. I had knee replacement surgery and had to spend four months in a facility and I can’t even begin to speak about some of the shit I saw
I took care of my father who had dementia. He never wanted to go to the hospital or be sent away. Our family decided to hire caregivers who would attend to him on a 12-12 hr basis at home. It may be a bit costly, but we all have peace of mind and the welfare of our loved one. It's the least we can do to honor our parents.
@@joanodom2104 I pray for your strength in her care . May God honor your sacrifice . Look into some caregiver counseling or helping hands from a friend .
That's wonderful and ideal. Not everyone has that kind of money as you do though. In home NURSING companies I called do NOT take Medicaid. What are regular working people supposed to do? (Serious question.) I'm old and just want to be allowed an assisted death when my time comes. But it's illegal to help anyone die in peace and with dignity. 😞
My Mom was in assistant living for about 2 years then moved to nursing facilities owned by the same group. I felt like she received good care. I visited her a couple of times a week and she seemed happy. After a few months she went to memory care and shortly passed. The staff were smiling and friendly. However the week I was cleaning out her stuff I noticed the staff seemed down and doors were closed and locked for the first time. When I asked why the change. I was told new management. Glad my Mom was under the old management.
I applied to be a home health aide. I was interviwed, asked my experience which was none, immediately given a written test that I guessed at. Questions concerning tbi, etc. I guessed at the answers. I was immediately hired, given an assignment with no training whatsoever. I declined the job and never went back.
I cared for my 90 YO mother with advanced Alzeimer's until she passed. I could never leave her to one of those horrible, for-profit, homes. They could not even compare to the quality of care I could give mom. Yes, it was too much for me and it caused me much physical, emotional, financial and spiritual pain. But I would do it all over again. The quality of life should be everyone right.
You're blessed that you could do that for her. What about someone that has to work, pay rent, medicines, medical care... and can't be in 2 places at the same time... it's impossible nowadays 😔
There should be no considering of any other way!!! That is your Mama! She would never do that to you! You said it 100% no one will care for them better than you! Although there are some evil people who are capable of mistreating their own loved ones. Even though they had good parents and were good to them when they were children. We cared for my dad at home ourselves as well. It was very hard, not the doing for him. To see him that way, it hurt so bad! I would have done anything for him not to go through that. I would do it all over again as well.
I've worked in several nursing homes over the years until I retired and that's the exact reason I'm now helping take care of my mom who has dementia. If your loved ones are staying mainly in bed, whether it's at home or in an assisted living center or a nursing home, ALWAYS ALWAYS keep an eye out for pressure sores!!!
However I did encounter some who were angry when they had to change out my sheets or turn me over to put Sauve on my bed stores.i was very determined to get physical rehab.& go home! I was able to do in 4 weeks but there were some hostile.aides which I never reported. I now believe I should have. I be
After reading the comments here I dear I feel like I have a mission to make sure that nobody winds up in a facility facility where they are going to be abusedAfter reading the comments here I dear I feel like I have a mission to make sure that nobody winds up in a facility facility where they are going to be abused. I can see that as a potential for anybody especially anybody with dementia.. I want to make sure my kids understand understand that if I complain they should listen to me and not a staff member at some facility I am in at that time. Hopefully my rehab will go very well at home and and with the physical help and the watchful eye of my own physician. It is something that I never thought I would have to worry about for myself My mother was in a facility for Special needs as a handicap person many years ago. She and my dad were covered by my dad's health insurance through his company and and they had excellent add excellent insurance and assurance and assistance. Most of us today are on national national healthcare plans such as United healthcare health care and I do not think that those plans are administered the same they're more about cutting their losses. I have never experienced this before but but now I will have to investigate not just for me but for those I love and those who are in this situation now and don't know how to investigate And wind up with poor health care.
Thank you Tandy for your insights. I would like to keep in touch if possible. You will see my remarks below. I am in Dallas Texas and yes that's my real name.
This doesn't just happen with the elderly or in assisted living. I spent 6weeks in a skilled nursing facility because of a surgery where I needed 24-hour care as I am also a wheelchair user. This was in my 30s. I saw what went on and how residents were treated. I started to speak up and therefore staff did not like me. When I started to become mobile and able to use my wheelchair again, the staff started shutting doors, so I could not see what they were doing in the rooms while I roamed the halls and socialized. They also got beyond pissed that I asked what each medication was for every dose, rather than being handed a cup and just taking it. The reality is that if residents do not have visitors and cannot advocate for themselves, they will not be alive much longer. It is all about money... if you don't have it, the gov't does not care. Same is happening in homecare as well. I am a disability advocate in MA and it scares me to know that I will be in this situation when I become elderly.
it definitely is cary...i just witnessed alot of what you said here, myself. The treatment (or lack of treatment) is appalling and if you question anything, you get blacklisted....it's very shocking.
My lady friend (Girl friend) was a worker in the assisted living work. She was 63 years old . She told me that she never will go to any of these places that help the seniors. She has seen the horror that goes on there. All the people in the assisted care wanted her to help them. They knew that she was kind and treated them well. Even patients who did not want to take food and medicine as they wanted to die, listened to her and took the medicine. My girl friend died peacefully one day when we were talking in the dining room , she had a heart attack and died on her way to the hospital. Because she was a good person GOD gave her wish to die without going to the nursing home. God bless you all.
I am so glad my father didnt end up in one of these..My older sister and I overseed him in his home. He stayed quite mobile in his 90's till he was about 95. He then needed a wheelchair but still was quite mobile, could still walk alittle. He lived to be two months shy of 98 and not taking any meds ever and he was able to live out his life in his own home.. I pray I can too.
I was a caregiver for twenty five years in California. The facilities that look beautiful have the worst staff. The places you walk into and say to yourself, “I would not let my dog stay here.” Have the best staff. Weird how that works.
Yes! I work for this run-down old personal Care home the building was 115 years old loved that job. Hardy ever Unfortunately they closed now at a luxury AL what a nightmare.
I wouldn't be surprised if the lower end facility patients were less drugged (poisoned). I had similar experience at a lower end health provider after insurance change where the staff was more candid, honest about issue I'd been dealing with for extended period
Not too weird when you think about it: money is spent on appearances as opposed to patient care (all phases, including maintenance). Once the patient is hooked, money is suddenly "tight"!
I will never ever regret taking care of mom until her death even though it was very difficult both physically and mentally and financially (I quit my job to be able to care for her full time.) She was 3 months shy of 98 when she died. Her last two days were spent in a hospital on a morphine drip, and she died peacefully of internal bleeding caused by her years aspirin and ibuprophen use. We need to go back to the practice of generational care for our families -- from cradle to grave.
I applaud you or taking care of your Mom, but so many people in America do not have the means to quit their job and care or a loved one. Many Americans are having trouble taking care of themselves, let alone their elderly parents. Quit your job to take care of a loved one? You were fortunate to be able to do so. Most Americans right now can't even think of the possibility.
I agree wholeheartedly. I took care of my Dad. And due to my career a lot of the work fell to my husband. It wasn’t always without some friction. But I vowed that my father would never go in a nursing home. He lived to 103. I miss him - and my husband, who died 2 years later. Life is never the same.
@@Michilar You are correct. I quit my job to care for family. It was a bad decision. It's now 13 years later---now i am taking care of my husband at home after a horrible rehab experience that included covid *possibly, however, the least of his problems there. He's doing better at home than he was in the hospital and the rehab.
Easier said than done. For the elderly without severe health issues, that would work. But what is they have diabetes, a catheter, bed-ridden and a host of other conditions. The average person can’t do all a trained nurse can. If you can hire a nurse to come regularly, that would work. But sometimes, you have no choice but to bring them somewhere where is trained nursing care. Emeritus was just warehouse - not a care facility. I hope lots of people see this documentary and learn the questions they need to ask before taking them there.
My daughter is in a nursing home and I worked there for 3 years...I saw enough to shut that place down...it's been turned into State so many times it's unreal and State does "Nothing "..apparently someone is getting their pockets padded because they always know when State is coming...These stories hurt my heart but it's reality of what is happening not only in assisted living but also nursing home facilities.. People make sure you visit your loved ones so you know what is happening...God bless..
I worked for a Emeritus facility. It was the most disorganized experience I encountered in my nursing career. My worst experience was catching a CNA caregiver yelling at a resident. It was the dinner hour and caregiver was frustrated getting residents down to eat. I had zero tolerance for patient abuse. I didn't want her to continue this shift with what I saw. Until she could speak to Administrator and DNS the following day. She was very mad upon leaving. A few hours later her mother appeared with her and began verbally being abusive towards me. Finally ordering both off property or calling police they left. This girl who had just turned 18 and wasn't mature enough for her responsibility. I was taken back that the facility supported this employee. It was the beginning of nursing shortages and there wasn't a line outside to fill these positions. I turned incident over to the state. I was reprimanded and let go. There were so many other instances of poor care I was appaled and soon questioned my remaining in the field of nursing. I hope it's improved.
You are right about the grooming and maturity. Those kind of techs cut major corners and small things like washing people hands or cleaning people appropriately can save the residents life. But the facilities admit some young ladies at 17. I admired them for getting started before graduation but I also celebrated them while highlighting their ethics and the patients rights. So many facilities remain understaffed and families are treated like the enemy.
a@radience If this happens again, video it and the conversations with the management, than if nothing is done, put it on social media and let the public see. then maybe the law will step in with elder abuse charges!
a@radience If this happens again, video it and the conversations with the management, than if nothing is done, put it on social media and let the public see. then maybe the law will step in with elder abuse charges!
As a retired CNA, and a senior myself now, I am appalled at these stories. Assisted Living is for those who still have cognitive aspects, not those in need of full time health care...Nursing homes provide that. I've not heard of Assisted Living facilities providing full time care regarding residents who cannot help themselves. I worked in a nursing home and took my calling very seriously. Yes, I felt it was a calling. I was older than the majority CNAs there. They displayed total lack of respect for the residents. I formed a bond with my residents, I loved them. They loved me...they were extended family. Their quality of life was a priority...how can the so called caregiver in these facilities not respect and provide the utmost necessary care required individually? I am so disillusioned at what I'm hearing here...I can't understand how the seniors in these places are not revered and provided with their needs. I attended college for my CNA license...not a two week course, as some are now taking. My husband died as a result of a poorly supervised facility. He was denied fluids, a means of not having to deal with his voiding. So many details I will spare due to the unthinkable results leading to his demise. I hope many seniors, baby boomers as myself, watch this and take notice. Sorry to go on, but this saddens and angers me. A billion dollar industry...how do we make the situation for our elders better for their quality of life?
I worked as an activity director in an Assisted living facility for quite a few years. At the beginning of my years there, there were dietary aids that helped in the dining room during meals. There were ladies that did the laundry, there were housekeeping staff and resident assistants. Over time the dietary aids were "no longer needed" because the resident assistants could take care of that. The laundry ladies were "No longer needed" because the resident assistants could take care of the laundry. The house keeping staff was let go because the resident assistants could take care of that too! So now the Resident assistants did their job plus laundry, housekeeping and dietary aids. These girls could not keep up. But like most Assisted livings they are looking at the bottom line in the check register! Nope. I would never put a loved one in one of those horrible places.
I currently work at an AL. Us aides are required to do care, clean, laundry, serve lunch and breakfast, dishes, occasionally repairs, etc. It is too much!! We also have residents who are clearly NOT suitable for an assisted living, yet they are their compromising staff and other residents well being. I start school next month and can't wait to get out of there.
I’ve worked at a Nursing Home and a few Assisted Living facilities. If you can, find a way to keep your loved one at home. Depending on your state they may qualify for a home care aide that could come in a few hours a day possibly to help with showers and meals and so many other types of care. There are so many wonderful people who work at these places with a passion for working with the elderly and people suffering with dementia of some kind but are stretched so thin in so many ways that proper care for the ones that are unable to care for themselves is almost impossible. Due to the low wage and incredible work load many of the employees don’t last very long, many of them come and go, which makes it harder on the residents. Praying for much needed change, especially as the baby boomer population enters these kinds of facilities, something needs to give.
@@barbrn If it costs $36,000 just for the roof and the bed then with added costs of medical attention, drugs and added expenses not to mention the intimate knowledge with well trained and well supervised person seems more cost effective. Then factor in the mental well being for everyone involved seems much less stressful, family are involved and engaged in the care. A caregiver is able to properly care for someone, gets assistance from the family and support all together a more loving and friendly environment to live, care for and be cared for and certainly a better place to work. I would say that paying that person $36,000 to $50,000 per year plus benefits is a bargain. I know a CNA who has worked for a couple for the past 10 years. They moved into assisted living when her dementia started getting worse and her main job was to ensure that anything the staff did not do she did or was on the facility management to get it fixed. When the woman died the man kept her on just so he would not have to deal with the facility employees directly he said so he wouldn't die of stress related illness from dealing with them. He's still alive and she still goes to see him 5 days a week and is paid well.
@@kenaidog6974 I am with your way of caring for your parents. They did it for us, you know your parents better than anyone. What they would pay at assist living would move them pay for them and you would not charge them what they are charging at a assist living home or place. Doctor, nurse might be paid through Medicaid, Medicare. It can work and your parents will thank you.
My mom was in a rehab nursing home because she was too weak to walk. I thought I was doing the right thing to get her back on her feet. It was a complete nightmare. I got her out in less than two weeks. I cared for her needs so much better. She never would have lasted in that place. The crazy thing is the facility was incredibly beautiful inside and out, but the workers were either over worked, underpaid or flat out didn’t care. I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if she had died in that place. There needs to be much greater regulations and overseers in those places. It’s terrifyingly bad and sad. It seems nobody cares.
Gosh this hits home for me I lost my mom 3 months ago she as well had dementia. she was starting to wander outside of her home so I had to put her in a memory care facility. she lasted only a month in the facility and then she passed away. my family has requested an autopsy just for our own peace of mind since her death was so unexpected. my mom had visitors everyday for the month she was there because I knew it was hard on her. i miss her everyday not a day has gone by in these last 3 months that I don’t stop to cry and think of her if. you have a loved one in any type of facility please visit them because there lives are so precious.
We had to put little loud alarms on our doors that would alert us to grandpa leaving and that didn’t stop him and so we installed the locks with the keyhole inside and we kept the key: he couldn’t get out then. Taking him to a facility was not an option. Until the very end when he was violent in the 9th year. We took him to a place and we brought him back home 5 weeks later. It was awful. He died about 4 days after we brought him home and he was happy during that time. He came home with bite marks: the others stole his clothes and it was a mess at that short-staffed facility. He dealt with major Alzheimer’s that last 10 years but we saw signs of the disease through some odd behavior much earlier. Sad deal
I cannot visit my mother bcuz my brother conspired with the facility he tricked her into going into over 4 years ago (soon after he cajoled her into giving him POA) and they created a coup against me to keep us isolated from each other and got a judge to sign an injunction against me so that I am not allowed in or in the premises! He also rendered her "incapacitated" by MD's who lied and labeled her with "severe dementia" and "advanced Alzheimer's" when all she had was mild cognitive impairment and was never seen by a neurologist. It's been a heartbreaking and painful situation that doesn't seem to get resolved despite my numerous attempts to reach out to BOTH of my brothers and practically beg them for mercy as well as filing motions with the court who just continually deny my motions. My Mom was very clear about the fact that she did not want to be separated from me but no one's cares. Recently, my brother transfered her into memory care and now I cannot even get her on the phone. I have also reached out to agencies and attorneys ...all to no avail. My Mom never dreamed that something like this would happen to her and she trusted my brother bcuz she felt that he cared about her. He hardly ever calls her or visits her and nor do any of her 4 grandchildren. It appears that she has been left for dead. I was allowed to visit her in mother's day outside the facility in 90° and took some pictures. Upon my return home after viewing them I discovered that 3 of her nails in her left hand were badly cracked and one was badly infected. I called the director and she was defensive and combative trying to convince me that after I left she did a manicure on her and she rationalized the situation by claiming that "there are worse places"! This is an expensive facility that has a salon on the premises where she is supposed to receive regular manicures and pedicures as well as hair cuts and dyes. Her hair looked awful too. Her clothes were old, stained and too tight. I brought this to my brothers attention and he advised me to buy her a new wardrobe and that the trust would reimburse me but when I asked if I could take her to Macy's I was ghosted and ignored, as usual. If you have any suggestions I'd be open to hearing them. Thank you in advance.
@@taralilarose1 I didn’t read all of this comment but I read the first 6 or so lines up to the injunction. It’s sad and scary and stressful for you I’m sure. I’m in a similar situation and it’s gut-wrenching. I empathize. And I’m so sorry your brother has been so manipulative and calculating against you. Pray pray pray even if you don’t believe in God. Ask him to fix this for you, assuming you want to see your mother which I’m sure you do! Keep us posted. It will pass and her better. You truly aren’t alone in your circumstances. There are other families fighting like this.
@@2004cyrus Thank you for your heartfelt sincerely caring comment. I do appreciate it and I do pray daily. I also texted and emailed this post to both of my brothers. They're sick and I pray for them every single day....that God will open their hearts and minds and change them. If I wasn't a believer I wouldn't still be alive but being one has also made me a target. Sorry to hear about your grandpa....is that what you meant by gut wrenching or is there more?
My mom spent 5 good years in assisted living, with moderate dementia and pretty good health until the end (she passed at 93). I was pleased with the place, but they definitely were short-staffed. One thing I noticed was that the majority of residents never had visitors, or did only on a special day like Christmas. I visited about 3 days per week. People seem to be just plunked down in assisted living (or a nursing home) and forgotten about. It's hard to understand! I got to know quite a few residents because I would visit with them when I went to see Mom. She was usually sitting in the sun room with several other ladies. RIP to our Moms. 💐🌿💐
So happy a documentary like this is out. As a provider we have seen this for a long time. Just hasn’t been out for non medical people. This is good and eye opening for the public. My heart goes to the families who lost their loved one 🙏🏼🥹
Thank you for this documentary. These things happened to my father in two separate assisted living homes. One he fell and broke his hip after only 48 hours. The next he fell and hit his head and went into a 3 day coma. I ended up having to care for him myself 24 hours a day just to make sure he was safe. I was paying several thousands a month. For what? I know he would have died if I hadn't taken this action.
Why is it that companies who charge thousands a month still pays minimum wage to their skeleton crew of workers?? I'm asking why we are allowing this..
I am a Registered Nurse with over 40 years of bedside care during my career. Only about 2 of those were in nursing home/assisted care. I will say that in retrospect I wish I had been braver in my expression of distaste at what was going on. I was solely responsible for 40 patients with the help of maybe 3 CNA's. A lot of time there were only 2. I had to give all the meds including the as needed ones, check all the blood sugars and treat them, do all the lab draws, if anything happened to a resident I had to do an incident report which took 2 hours to complete. Start all the treatments, and help with lunch, and supervise the CNA's. One time the CNA's had not gotten around to changing a resident who had urinated on himself and the bed, he had a visitor come in just then and they went straight to the facility Director who then called me to the office and chewed me out for about 40 minutes. That is when I went back and called a meeting with the CNA"S that were there that day and told them I never wanted to have that experience again, and said a few more choice things for about 25 minutes so they would be well aware of what they were responsible for and that if they didn't want to do it that there was a door that opened both ways. Then all the licensed nursing staff were called into the Chief Nursing Officer's office and told that someone had resigned and that we all were going to have to work extra shifts to cover her shifts. What I should have told her was that there were agency nurses to help with things like that, we already worked 48 hours (12 hr. shifts), and so that would mean that just one extra shift would give us 20 hours of over time that they would somehow get out of paying time and a half for. And I could see them not replacing that nurse and just forcing us to take over those extra shifts. I quit that job before I had to work many of those extra shifts. The situation in the nursing homes and assistive living homes will NOT CHANGE until there is legislation stating that one licensed nurse can only take care of X number of residents (with X = 15) and do all the other things they have to do. And by the way there 7 other licensed nurses in the building that could have taken a couple of those extra shifts. Also they need to state that a CNA can only care for 10-15 residents because they have all the manual labor to do. And they need to hire LPN's to do the blood sugars, and treat them and help with meds and dressing changes and charting and all the endless things that come up during the day or night. Companies/people who own nursing homes should not be there simply to get rich, in fact it ought to be illegal for then to show a profit above X dollars/year/facility. I don't know what that dollar amount should be, but it needs to be regulated and it should be mandated also that the staff have the equipment and materials needed to do their job. I am going to end here, but I could go on longer. It is a horrible way to die-- in a warehouse for old people.
I too am a seasoned nurse. My distaste in the lack of standard of care got me a choice to resign or be terminated. I could go on and on about assisted living facilities however your comment covered my thoughts. My mom required care and my dad was considering assisted living. I abruptly told him “ Please don’t dad”. I was fortunate enough to be able to leave my nursing job and care for my mother at her home until she passed this past summer. If my dad ever requires assistance or total care, I’ll do the same for him. These facilities don’t care about your loved ones well being. I treat every patient as if they were my own parent. If you speak up and report your concerns to higher ups, they will literally make up a reason to fire you.
@@keariewashburn4680A big part of the problem is the nurses. They enjoy abusing the workers. It’s like a pecking order in a barnyard. They wasted forty minutes of her time, so she wasted twenty minutes of her subordinates time. One hour down the drain. Two minutes to clean a patient. Evil, disgusting environment. It’s like that in hospitals too. In Canada. Logical people call for changes in this or that detail, 😢but mostly we need repentance and Miracles.
No one is going to pass that legislation. The Government could care less about Seniors. The sheer truth is that the Government and a great many Doctors and especially hospitals are READY for 60+year Olds now to just DIE and get out of the way! They want the Baby Boomers money, and that's ALL they want.
This is completely accurate. My mom just left the field due to the horrible treatment, understaffing, low wages, etc. The stories she told me were horrible.
I worked at a nursing home. There was a resident who was on a purée diet and she was a DNR. She found her food nasty and I don't blame her. So she would have the salad with dinner. One of the CNAs basically convinced me not to give her the salad. He told this resident if she ate regular food and choked she'd die. Working at a nursing home is hard.
@@ingridakerblom7577 I know this because of the ABUSE MY MOTHER SUFFERED AT THE HANDS OF STAFF IN A NURSING HOME THAT KILLED HER AND MY UNCLE'S NEGLECT AT A NURSING HOME the THOUSANDS OF HORROR STORIES of abuse, neglect bed sores, sitting in soiled diapers for untold hours that have been reported so don't tell me that good staff are in the majority!!!
Couple years ago at age 48 I landed in a nursing home for 2 months for I.v antibiotics. Horrible, horrific nasty terrible things happen to these elderly folks. I landed in tears almost daily feeling so bad for these folks. I told off every single employee for one mistreatment or another. Just really sad.
Yes, even being a part owner of on at one time in the past I agree. It boils down to staff and management and if one is lacking it is a bad situation for the residents. We had a fifty bed facility. The state only required one person on duty at night time for a fifty bed facility and that is what they had. Frankly my impression was that the people from the state who are tasked with looking over the facilities don't really care at all about the elderly residents. It is extremely difficult to get good caregivers enough to where you have a predominance of caring and good caregivers. Management is driven by the need "to make" payroll much less make a profit. This facility never made a profit. If there is any way a person can remain in their home or apartment that is the best choice. Once in this nation we had multigenerational households which seemingly would have been good for the elderly but that day is far gone.
I can relate to the same. My care was all messed up to during my rehab stay. I had a picc line. Not one nurse was on the same page on how to properly care for it. I could go on & on & on & on. I loved those patients. And the good, quality staff were usually understaffed. When STATE comes in to check that all is being done on the up & up a false presentation is shown, but I've also witnessed myself where those State employees turned a bind eye or if something was reported confidentially as was supposed to be offered, the person working for the State was neglectful in addressing the concern & the employee who'd reported their concerns lost their job. So nothing was fixed otherwise behalf of the patients/residents. Makes me ill.
Try working with them. You are trying to do your job properly and they don’t want to. They refuse to work with you. Told off for wasting money. Didn’t stop me some nurses were good but very few. Whether in a hospital setting or aged care. You get branded a trouble maker. Would often say “ WOULD YOU LIKE SOMEONE TO TREAT YOU OR SOMEONE YOU LOVED THE SAME AS YOUR TREATING THEM? Treat others how you would like to be treated.
It is a horrible over regulated industry. There are so many stupid forms to fill out that care isn't provided. Careplans are the biggest waste of staff's time. no one follows them. They are useless and really a stupid idea. The government mandates so much in documentation that nurses have to spend most time with these idiot forms and can't provide care. The CNAs are paid so poorly that they usually only the worst of the worst take the jobs anymore. But the admin gets their bonuses and cashes those huge pay checks and gets trips and even some get cars. As I understand it, there is one in Illinois where admin was provided a house so they had no expenses and were getting rich off the taxpayers.
I SPOKE UP and Fired 2 home healthcare agencies that were coming to take care of my father after I moved in with him after taking my husband off life support with stage four liver failure and I could see that they were not giving my father the care that he needed you really have to speak up and be your father‘s voice or your parents voice because there’s just times when they can’t and I want to know that I did everything that I could to keep my father in his home until he dies so he doesn’t have to go to an assisted living or skilled nursing facility and it’s very hard but that’s what you do when you love someone... you just have to put up with some verbal and emotional abuse from you’re aging parent and inconvenience in YOUR LIFE but in the end you know that you took care of them the best you could❤️
Good for you I did the same and he was very happy at home He had Alzheimers and I was glad to know he was truly cared for. My Mother passed away after hip surgery and what I considered a incompetent doctor and rehab facility after 😔 The Agencies I contacted for help were actually amazed I wanted to interview the workers they had in mind, I was amazed they just randomly send people out so not nessecessarily the employees fault if not qualified sad it's that way
Glad you were able to care for your elder loved one, most people put them in a nursing home, basic care or assisted living Home healthcare provides supplemental assistance including QSP & CNA care based on an RN assessment under a medical provider orders. They are not in the home 24/7
**Update** My mom put my dad in a place like that. It took the heart right out of him. A colleague is working on finding a place for his parents. This made me think of my Dad's time where Mom put him. There was a time when family took care of their older members. There was a time that family didn't put their parents into a place like that no matter how wonderfully they take care of their customers. When we brought Dad to his assisted living community I noticed a large freight elevator by the front door. The elevator didn't look industrial. It had large doors and opened on both sides. Then I realized it was for the coroner or funeral home to wheel our your dead family member. I hope they don't do this in front of the others who live there. Dad said he liked it there but I fear that he felt as if he were abandoned. Here we are years later and I feel sick of the thought that Dad felt abandoned. There was a time when family took care of each other until the very end. There wasn't assisted communities or old folks home. There was THE family and they took turns caring for aunt, uncle, Mom, Dad, brother, sister, etc. The family was important not the job, or the buddies, or sports, or partying or social media. All of these things have REPLACED the family and we refuse to admit it. While we think we made the 'right' decision...did we really? I'd rather have my family there at the end holding my hands and comforting me as I draw my last breath. Not some paid employee with no connection to me or my family. How did we get here? Why did we get here? Why did we allow it to get here? All very tough and personal questions.
To put your mind at ease staff do care about residents on their death beds. We're not required to but if no family is coming in we take turns sitting with.
I have multiple sclerosis and idiopathic osteoporosis. I am 65 and have been living in assisted living for 18 months in Utah. I agree with all of these issues coining on at Emeritus.
Unfortunately, like much of our society, emphasis is on the "bottom line" rather than the work that must be done to get to that "bottom line"! Work, no matter how menial, has lost its worth. A bad foundation will make the most well-designed building unstable.
This makes me grateful that my grandmother was in a great assisted living home. They had 3 areas to it. Assisted ,rehabilitation ( to recover after an illness or injury) then a skilled nursing if they got to a point they couldn’t care adequately for themselves. She had a great group of lady friends that she lived beside in assisted living apt. Until she was sick and passed away in the rehab Area. My aunts and uncles visited often and made sure things were up to par. You have to advocate for your loved ones. These facilities do need regulations. I cannot believe they aren’t. Even the doggie daycares in my state are regulated.
I am glad for your Grandmother. My deceased ex wife's parents are in a very nice continuing care facility (that is what you described). You have to have serious money for that. If you are wealthy you can get good care and it is a nice thing that some can still. I just wish most could.
It is so tragic that these people were treated this way. It makes me think my brother being at a rehab facility right now is much better than assisted living. Lifting prayers for all these people who lost their loved ones in such a terrible way. Thank you for sharing this documentary. God Bless You & stay safe.
My mom is on her deathbed at this moment. She would hold her arm out into space like she was trying to grasp someone with her hand. I felt a loved one, maybe my dad, was wanting to take her with him. She was taken off life support. We all said our goodbyes as she is peacefully slipping away slowly at this very moment. My sister who sees spirits said deceased loved ones like my father, her mother and 5 others are around her. We love God our Father and accept His will for my mother’s time has come. She is 92 yrs old. God bless her soul.
I worked in a assisted living while I was in nsg. School. I took a 10 question math test and after passing was able to pass meds to half of the facility in a shift . It was crazy, I was terrified of making a med error.
A math test? What. When I was going to school to be a medical assistant you should have seen what we had to do when learning pharmacology yikes! And you only had 10? Oh Dangerous. There are medicines that are spelled the same but do different things. I would have been terrified
This is one of my biggest fears. I am turning 65 on Oct 30th, 2023, and my husband and daughter are both aware of my wishes. If I can no longer be cared for in my own home, then I will use MAID (medical assistance in dying) that is available here in Canada. I think it's wonderful that we can choose when to go, surrounded by loved ones and friends, peacefully. This would be the most horrifying thing to be subject to, after being an independent, working mother and wife all of my life. The indignity of being dependent on some minimum wage worker who really didn't want to be there, would be more than I could bear.
Why in the world don't you take care of your parents? This is the reality in all these places. Period. It isn't going to ever change for the better and may likely get worse. Lord, change the world but begin w me. Eh?
This goes on 24/365 . I worked as a nurse in this type of facility and now my husband is now a resident . It costs $,000 a month . I had to demanded he be taken to the E.R. when he fell and hit his head on a cement floor with obvious injuries . He was left for periods of time with soiled clothes and bedding . He went over a week with no bathing . He as given 1 pair of socks . They hired people off the street with no training , some didn't know how to make a bed let alone how to care for patients . They did this strictly so they don't have to pay for trained personal who should be taking care of them . When I made inquiries to have him moved . They took steps to have me removed as his guardian . These people are all about money and making it "LOOK" like they're getting at least the minimum level of care ! ! . . 🤷. . . THEY ARE NOT ! ! . . 😱
I had a personal experience at a rehab/nursing facility recently. It was awful. My kids put me there so they wouldn't have to do anything for me. This was such a sad and awful experience. I am in Austin, Texas. They place like any other business was short staffed which I've learned is short for we'll be giving you a shitty job.
@@annmclpc Ann , You said it ! . . 🤔 . I keep in touch with my husband daily to make sure he's getting the care they're being paid for . ($9,000 a month. . 💸💸) Yesterday he was upset because they told him they didn't remember to get a doctor's order for one of his medications , so he wouldn't have meds all weekend ! . 😱 . This crap doesn't fly with me ! I worked as a charge nurse in my share of nursing homes (during my 30+ years of being a nurse) I know who's bell to ring when things don't get done ! if you know what I mean !. . 😝 . I'm familiar with doing what my husband loving calls my " pleasant bitch routine". Friendly and calm as hell , but I won't be bullshitted ! I would "NEVER" recommend a person be a patient in one of these facilities without some one checking on them on a regular basis ! I'm sorry you had such an experience , but be assured your just one of "THOUSANDS" who's enduring the same fate ! . . My husband's facility has 86 patients , so add it up ! We live in a small town and there's 3 nursing homes here . 🤔 P.S. . My husband got his meds this weekend , I made sure of that ! ! . . 🤨
@@annmclpc I'M SO SORRY YOU HAD TO EXPERIENCE THAT😥 REMEMBER EVERYBODY HAS TO GET OLD OR MAY NEED ADDITIONAL HELP, I PRAY YOUR KIDS DON'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH THAT
I watched my great grandfather die basically alone, unhappy & uncared for at an assisted living facility after his wife of 82 years died. He was such a strong man & it was heartbreaking to watch him wither away in such a place. I was a kid and didnt quite understand but now as an adult I can see how badly they mistreated him & others in this assisted living facility. I remember seeing people walking in circles, standing in puddles of urine or some liquid, people in wheelchairs against the wall with nobody helping them. I wish I was old enough at the time. I would have done anything to get him out of that place or report it to someone. I can only imagine how bad it was when patients families were not there. I mean this was on family visit days when I saw all that madness happening to people.
The no 1 problem globally in senior homes are not having enough staff.. Esp now (and it will get worse) when the old age groups are mutch bigger than younger age groups. There aren't enough people to care for the elderly. Thats why this kind off work needs to be made attractive, you need to be able to preform your work - not like now where it's impossible, bcs there isn't the time to do it anywhere near properly.. The facility management burns out their staff, they only think about money.. You cant work when you are burned out. It's not worth it, it's not worth killing yourself, only to be guilt tripped or shamed for it.. After being bullied for year & years & years. Before the working conditions & societys view on theese kinds off jobs change & get better. The situation will stay the same.. It wount help to be angry at the staff/nurses bcs they are in an impossible situation. They have 0 say in anything.. You simply can't divide yourself into 4 & be in many places at once. If you are busy with a client, you don't know what happens anywhere else with anyone else.. Thats reality.. thats why there HAS to be enough staff..
My son junior high school had kids volunteer as grandkids for old folk who needed visitation. My son loved his adoptive grandpa so much , he was a nice old man so great full to have my son visit. This was a great program & most of the kids continued to visit even after they were in high school and able to drive. My son took the loss of his real and adoptive grand fathers very hard but he is a better person for taking part in this program.
@@blazefairchild465 bern saying this for years…where are the youth groups in churches???? Having pizza parties. They would be so blessed to make this program part of their Christian training.
My in laws decided to move into an assisted living once MIL was disgnosed with cancer. They are both in their late 80s and we all felt the assisted living facility would be the best for their care. Had I seen this video about 4 months ago, I would have asked a lot more questions of the facility. My MIL is on hospice and probably has maybe a day or two left. However, I had to go search for a nurse (for the third time this week) to get them to administer her morphine. Prescibed by hospice to keep her Comfortable not in pain. I don't mind asking the nurses, but then I get attitude from them. They are billing thousands more dollars for services that is not being done. And it is nowhere near the amount we were told in the beginning. Now they are just gaslighting me when I ask questions about the billing. This was not even close to what I thought was a great facilty with the services needed. Not even close, very sad for all the money paid to these facilities.
Aside from the issues in this episode…. There’s a shortage of staff in these facilities all over the country (not just Emertius). There’s not enough people that want to WORK and take care of these folks and care about them. It’s horribly sad. You can see these young (or older) people at their nurses station get an attitude when they get a call from a resident that needs to get up to go potty. They just don’t want to do it. I’ve lived in those places for rehabilitation, and I’ve worked in one as a housekeeper. And it’s disgusting how they treat these poor people. If you aren’t in this because you care, DON’T DO THIS JOB! PLEASE!!!!
My husband has Alzheimer’s and he was very young when diagnosed. 52 years old. It’s been 10 years and he will be with me until the day he dies. He will never go to a care facility. He is the sweetest man ever. I will take care of him even if it kills me. That’s just the way it is. I love him and this is a horrible disease.
Thank you precious! Never say never though. I hope you read my reply to Melody. I took care both of my folks for the total of 28 years. No regrets for me but like I said, I would wish it on anyone.
I took care of my mother in her final days weeks months. She died at home under my care with hospice support and I always go back through my thoughts trying to understand what happened and blaming myself and what could I have done differently. And if I would have done things differently would the outcome have change. I finally came to terms with accepting that she was old and would have died within the same time frame regardless. I would not put her in a home and she died at home and I was the only one there but she died at home and I was there.
You did the right thing without a shadow of a doubt sweet soul. Trust me on that. Think of if that was you? Where would you want to die? At home with those who you love. I have been a care aid for those with severe cognitive impairment for many years and putting her into a home would have been devastating on her. Please know you did the right thing and she ,wherever we go after this life is smiling and happy you did that for her. Many blessings to you for doing the right thing. ❤ You were such a blessing to her!
I can tell you for a fact that she was far better off w you than being in a facility. Also consider the fact that is ludicrous to think that one caregiver should be able to do it all. Really seriously, I don't have to know you to know that your was still much better than your loved one being in a facility that contends w high employee turnover and staff shortages. I glad you were able to come to terms w how you handled things. May God bless you.
What you did for your mother was and is a beautiful thing. I’ve got to make that decision right now. Your post has helped me make the right decision. Thank You 🌸
@@cathypurnell9331 its hard, not easy but when she got real bad, I did have the money to hire extra care giver's in 4 or 8 hour slots 3 times a week. I have been retired for 13 years so I did not have to go work. It's better to try. From the time she needed me to the time of her passing was about 2 years. Then another 6 months taking care of her estate.
There is an answer to this problem. Any senior who has enough money to live in one of these places, should, instead, be kept at the home of their own children with either live in caretaking or have revolving caretakers come in to the home provide care. That doesn't mean the caretaker should become Cinderella and do ALL the housecleaning, making dinner for everyone and doing everyone's laundry. All the caregiver should be focused on is the loved one's bath, laundry, meals, keeping the room tidy and taking them to doctor visits, making sure the house is safe for the dementia patient. I understand that this may not be possible for everyone to do for their parent, but always keep in mind, no one cares or loves your parent like you do - as you've witnessed viewing this true life film. This is just beyond sad.
The sad thing is, this CEO will never experience this because he’s rich. My mother is in a Medicare/Medicaid facility now and the care is not much better. It’s maddening. My dad was in a memory care facility and thankfully went pretty fast because those three months used up all their money. Thank you for bringing this to light.
My mother and I were homeless for 5 years. At 14 and my mother 43 received a small inheritance when her fly grandfather passed. She bought an old very run down turn of the century home. In order to pay the mortgage repayments she looked after two lovely elderly ladies. She saved every penny and little by little we repaired the home, she worked 24/7, I went to school and had to work everyday after school and worked every weekend. Slowly the amount of elderly people we cared for grew, we welcomed these precious elderly into our HOME As the amount grew she applied for a licence and after years of hard hard work she had expanded to 29 beds. It was never about the money, for us it was about surviving and doing what we had to do to get into a better situation in life. It went from an idea to help to pay the bills - making large amounts of money was never the intention, but she did make money, enough for us to finally shift out if living there into our own home. But that place was our precious to us we put our heart and soul into it. The home was successful because we genuinely loved and cared for each resident they were part of our family. It should never be about making money but unfortunately there is a huge demand for accomodation for our ageing population and people go into it just to make money. These places are not always run very well. It was hard work but such an incredible experience and we helped so many live out their final months or years in a caring loving environment, filled with fun and laugher. Sure it is impossible to ensure that nothing ever go wrong as we are dealing with elderly, frail minded, medically unwell human beings, so some patients do have a fall or a resident is found after they had been incontinent and yes they will smel like urine or they may become agitated or unwell, these things you can not always control. But there is no excuse for neglect or abuse of vulnerable people. I’m Proud of the huge effort and sacrifices we made in those years, I continued to work there till I was 31 years old, as well as doing my nursing degree in that time. It makes me sick that these places can get away with these sorts of stories. There needs to be more frequent and more thorougher auditing. There is no excuse for neglect but this type of work is very demanding and hard work. Yes every home should have adequate staff patient ratio numbers! But There are not a lot of people willing to do this type of work and the pay rate is low. It can be hard to get trained staff. Very very sad. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of the elderly mentioned in this video and their family members who must feel so much guilt, anger and grief after seeing their loved ones go through this sort of thing. Hugs
The guilt some of the families feel is understandable. In several of the stories the elderly person tried to escape the facility but the family didn’t listen. I appreciate the honesty of the son at the end who told of his dream about his apology to his mom. His Dad tried to tell him. Family should listen. Just because we are old doesn’t mean we should be dismissed.
Everything in the U.S. has a profit motive, especially Assisted Care Living. I am a U.S. expat and military retiree. I currently live in Costa Rica. I personally know the owners of 2 Costa Rican Assisted Care Living Facilities. There are none of the issues there, that I have seen in this segment! The Latin culture values and cherishes their eldely! Anyone violating the law Abuse Of The Elderly, is fully prosecuted under the law.
That’s very interesting. I noticed almost immediately when I began my career that there were very few people of color or Hispanic people in the ALF I worked at. I didn’t want to assume it was an economical issue, because it just didn’t feel correct. The truth is, that most Hispanic and black families are extremely close and have large families. They don’t stick gramma in assisted living, nursing homes yeah, but not ALFs. The reason being is because they take care of their own. They take turns caring for grandma, driving her to the salon and church, doctors appointments, getting her bathed and dressed. They aren’t going to pay someone to love their family member when they can love them for nothing! Skilled nursing is different, some health problems just require a professional. But imaging hiring a teenager from Taco Bell to take care of your aging parents every need! That’s what ALFs are these days
@@shayscott7498 that’s true, I’m seeing more ethnic elderly people now than before, but most of them either have no children, or their children are well paid professionals. I had a friend that I talked to about this, and she said you can go and get some kind of certification as a home health care technician, and you can bill grandmas insurance for the care that you give her to a certain amount. So some of these kids opt to quit their jobs and take care of their grandparents full time, some do online courses while they are working, it’s kind of brilliant
One of the scarier things in this is the gleam in the CEO's eyes as he talks about how much higher the rates of people entering assisted living will be as the baby boomers are getting ready to come into their clutches.
Our mom was finally brought back home as soon as she was well enough because of problems with the care facility she was in and another problem is that other patients or residents will come into rooms and steal your loved ones possessions ! Our mom also got MRSA while in the facility. She’s been home for quite a few years now, doing a lot better under the care of our family and the wonderful visiting nurses who help a few times a week. Now she’s 90 and still cognitive though slower. And so much happier to be home!
Lots of people don't know this; there r lots of government programs that can help elderly citizens stay @ home...depending, on their medical conditions..... Emeritus is only interested in making $$$$$$.....all the complaints!!!! They shd all b shut down!!!!!!! 😒
Good point. I found the assisted living knew patients were being stolen from by staff but they would conveniently find that the "visitors" did it and would cast aspersions on visitors without ANY proof. The level of care is not the same as what is advertised 100%.
I have been a nurse for 42 years. I have NEVER seen a facility with enough staff to provide SAFE care to residents.
@Kimberly, Amen. I was a nurse and I agree
I’ve been an RN for 37 years. I worked long term care for 18 years and had to leave the industry as I could no longer take the lack of adequate care and the multiple demands of management to do more with less.
In my 9 years as an RN I’ve also never seen a facility adequately staffed. It’s God awful that it’s a given for this to be expected
Using assistant living as skilled nursing is part of the problem. Only qualifications to be a nurse's aide in assistant living is a GED or high school diploma. Doing skilled care for non skilled pay . It is the lifting that has me looking for a different profession. I am 105 lb have residents over 200 lbs that can not stand up. Is humanly impossible even with two aids sometimes. The floor I worked on last night every one but 3 is a 2 asst. 17 residents that needed toileted and put to bed. Plus the 100 other things we have to do. Laundry, cleaning the dining room, walk their dog, there's just never enough time. The call bells never stop. One lady fell getting off the elevator, now she couldn't walk let alone stand with her injured arm but didn't have a wheelchair.... She's on hospice I was there for 8 hours she still wasn't seen by a hospice nurse or had a x-ray yet. The only pain reliever she was given Tylenol. I had to go find a wheelchair another Aid to get her to bed and pray she didn't ring to go to the bathroom before I clocked out. The women is over weight and suffers from dementia living in a facility where people are supposed to be mostly independent. Only you get kicked out of one of these places is when you can no longer afford the monthly fee or die. People have a misconception these are medical facilities there not!! It is what the lady said in the video hospitality services not medical care you do not get diagnosed with anything the only treatment you receive it's because your doctor ordered it. . I've been employed at six different facilities at 6 different facilities that lie on the brochure home-cooked meals..... Processed food brought in on a truck once a week. Amazing activities bingo and painting a paper plates , yesterday was cocktail hour that's why the lady fell because they gave her a margarita. I have 15 drunk residence on my hands yesterday. Taking care of a drunk male resident that is sexually aggressive is beyond my pay scale don't feel I should have had the be alone in the bathroom with him naked. Pinned me up against the wall smell the booze on his breath but he's an assisted living facility and it's okay for him to drink and get drunk but he can't take a shower by himself. That in a nutshell is what is wrong with assistant living.... Stop pretending these people are independent regulate assisted living like they do nursing homes.
I'm always sore and tired. Healthcare Management are the worst. Demand demand but they'd never do the work. Never.
When mom died of cancer, dad moved in with my sister. After a few months she put him in assisted living facility without notifying me. He stayed there until his contract was up while I readied my house so he could stay with us. In the meantime I visited him everyday and brought him with me in my work truck to my job sites or wherever else he chose to go, ie golf course, old employer, stores, restaurants. When the house was ready, he moved in with my wife and I and stayed there for 2 more years until he died. I still miss him and that was 31 years ago.
I applaud your action. You were brave and would not settle for a facility. What keeps our loved ones going is precisely our company and the calm we provide for them. I embrace your brave decision.
I decided to bring my 92 year old dad to my house. He was diagnosed with dementia 5 years ago. I am not claiming to be a champion . Just can’t settle to see him drugged and pissed on his pants at a facility .
You are fortunate to have been able to accomplish this
You and your wife did such an honorable and wonderful thing taking your dad into your home. I was in a nursing facility for 2 years, they were always short on staff, I had to learn to walk again, and so many times there was no one to help me so I can get out of bed and walk. I believe with all my heart, that they are just after the money. I did not have medical to cover when I first went in, they ended up charging me for me to pay, over $30,000. There was no way on Earth I could pay that. They wanted me to go into a payment plan, now that I'm in an assisted living. But we only get $50 a month to spend. And they get a pretty good chunk of change for me every month. And it just irritates me that we all are supposed to make it on $50 a month. Some of the residents here have said they want to get their $50 and it wasn't in their account. So they had no money for that month. I also noticed, that there are people in the Assisted Living section of the building, that absolutely blows my mind because they can't walk they can't do with their hands what they need to do. And when I have asked for help which I'm totally functional now but sometimes I do need help, and they refuse it. They tell me you should be able to do things on your own but I told them this is supposed to be an assisted living where's the assistant for me? There's no transportation they have not gotten the bus fixed. The elevators are always being broke down. It just infuriates me that's all. And for the people here in that's why it made me so happy to read how you took care of your family member. My son wouldn't allow me to come and live with them. It kind of hurt me but that's the way it is. God bless you for doing what you did. And you will be blessed for it. You and your wife both.
All you can do is love them.
@@ALL6936 All my kin are gone yes it hurts but I have to go on.
We took my mother in-law into our home In 2012 due to her dementia. I took care of her full time all the way until she died this year (2022). She feared going to a rest home, and hospital, so we kept her with us. She died peacefully in her bedroom surrounded by her loved ones. It wasn’t always easy. But I’m so glad we did.
The one if anybody can put blame on is, Their own family.
Really ashamed. And they call her mom when, themselves or arrogant fill with stupidity And foolishness, their fault. Was assistant living created by the, The Universal Law of cause and effect? (what you call God.)
(Do onto others as you wish, they do onto you) Assisting Living, a place humans go, to pay while still alive, for all the sin they created. (KARMIC RETRIBUTION)
That’s insane. Do you think that’s what Jesus would say???
WTH are you talking about? Your grammar is atrocious which makes your statement confusing but it sounds like you’re a bit of a monster. Have I got that right?
My condolences. 🕊
My mum is here with me as well.
In & out of 6 nursing homes and the hospital she has lots going on, everyday it's hard for me I've been doing it since 2017, man she is a hand full and then some with a truck drivers mouth!! The day she passes i Dred i DON'T wanna be part of it but it's reality.
She brought me into this world and with out her i wouldn't be me, which i love my hard core self. I take care of sisters (nuns) I love and enjoy everyone of them. I enjoy my job and the geriatric community they are sweethearts.
Check out the look of utter disgust the inteviewer periodically gets on his face!
In the story about Merle, it was particularly obvious-- Granger Cobb (Mr. Suave Executive Dude) is all comfort and smiles as he justifies Merle's death: "'That'" ("that" is how he sums up Merle and what happened to her) it was something they could not have forseen or prevented-- after all, the second-story windows opened(!) "only" 12 inches... Yep, just an "unfortunate" *insert gentle smile, lean forward in a friendly way* situation...not a person who was neglected egregiously and suffered a horrible death because of it. He's fortunate a look of disgust is the worst punishment he's faced; he's already got lots and lots and LOTS of blood on his hands...and I bet it continues to flow to this day.
I'm a nurse and worked at different areas including nursing homes and LTAC. It was a heart breaking experience. The staff are rude treating residents like animals. Though there are a few with good hearts and hardworking but they are burnt out. I picked up a part time on the weekends as a treatment nurse and I was shocked to see wound dressings were not changed, I'll find dressings I did from my last shift which was a week ago. Patients with long-term urinary catheters use tubings were nasty and had not been changed. There are sooo many more....
I'll never forget one day, I sat and clipped one of the residents fingernails and the next thing I heard and saw are residents on their wheelchairs lining up to get their nails clipped as well. 😢 I was told I shouldn't do it coz it has to be a podiatrist but where is he or she? Residents nails are getting too long causing skin tears.
I have sooo many stories...when my father got sick, I quit my job and took care of him at my house, nursing home or assisted living was never an option to me.
So terrible
Was OB RN for most of 39 yrs but did 4 mos at horrid place where a guy stopped walking, when I asked why said his toe hurt, took off his shoes and found nails so long they twisted his toes. Put his feet in a soak while raced through meds then cut his nails. Was able to walk just fine after that. Was supposed to be podiatry there also. Quit when they stuck me with 55 pts for 20 hrs. Went to a different company where28-32 medically complex pts were mixed with dementia, hospice, stroke pts and nurses were told to "help" the CNA while doing peritoneal dialysis, central lines, tube feedings, fresh surgery dressing changes, extensive documentation and get phone on third ring. Have been seeking staffing ratios in IL since 2015.Also think there should be counselling support for nurses who have worked this awful jobs, I have PTSD from job!!Or at minimum automatic clemency if we assault the director who puts us in untenable situations.
my friend is a retired nurse practitioner and is caring for her mother full time for the last two years and is not getting paid while her sister is POA across the country and is doing nothing but trying to make her sister who is my friend look bad so that she can pull their mother out of the home she has been living in for 30 years - what do you recommend
@@richardfiorentino3951 an Attorney who specializes in Elder law
@@cherylcarlson3315 I worked in several ALFs and lived in two to understand what it was really like. I am positive I have PTSD from those days. I felt like I abandoned them. It's a corrupt and broken system and I wish I could do more to change it or bring awareness. The stories make me sick and sad. So sorry to all involved... it leaves me feeling so helpless
This is how we repay our elderly for their lives of hard work and contributions to our society, to our communities and to our lives? It's heartbreaking how the elderly are treated ... Glad to see some light shining on this topic
Unfortunately our money obsessed society doesn’t have time for the old,chronically sick and economically useless.
Elder neglect is an epidemic. Quite sad.
I was thinking that the entire video.
For sure! It's heartbreaking.
You are judge as a society on HOW YOU Treat your YOUNG and OLD , case CLOSED !!!
Amen Sis- we ought appreciate our elders- not shut them away💙
I love that the Boice family refused the settlement offer from Emeritus because they absolutely did not want to give up their right to speak about what happened to their mother. I applaud them for that.
I don't know. My mum was in assisted living and loved it. It was her choice to go. There were also a lot of married couples there and she made a lot of friends. And I have no idea what the lady in the video is talking about that they don't drive. Many of the residents drove including my mum. Not all of these places are horrible. Expensive, yes.
@@jenniferlawrence9473 I agree...Things go wrong in hospital, nursing homes etc..It's really up to the families to inspect the skin, take the family member out, make sure they are walking etc..It's assisted, not full care. Should they have taken her in? Probably not and with that decision, it cost them....where it hurt the most. In my opinion, they should be forced to take in a number of if indigent clients whom need their specific services but can't afford them. Kind of like BMR (Below market Rate) apartments that companies are forced to make avail if they wanna keep builing in CA.
I agree. That’s something most won’t do.
@@jenniferlawrence9473 wow unbelievable
No lie 3.5 million, I would have took it. Not knowing I could have won 23 million but coming from poverty that's enough to set my daughter up and any kids she have, it could be the beginning of generational wealth. Glad they won that much even tho it don't bring bck a loved one.
A word of advice from a former nursing home employee: Visit your loved ones often at any care facility, including the hospital & rehab. If you go every week switch up the days. Show up at different times. Try to go during meal times. Do not be predictable.
Do not be afraid to speak up. Ask questions. Pay attention to them. If they start to decline shortly after admission, something might be amiss. You might not get an answer depending on your relationship to the resident/patient due to HIPAA, but it sends a signal that that person has people who care. That tends to deter abuse.
Some families do have to send loved ones to the nursing home. There are good homes out there. Do your research.
Well said! Great tips 🙌🏻
Great tips!
@LeiLei51 ... or keep the old people at home and hire professional staff like you for care at home. ;-)
And people who never had any kids...God help them.
PPP c
My grandmother was in a nursing home by her choice until she passed in August 2022. She knew we had families and jobs. All she asked was that we never forgot about her. So my dad cooked home cooked meals for her 2 to 3 times per week, and I washed her clothes weekly and refreshed her snacks and toiletries monthly. I can say this, when staff knows the family is highly involved, the fewer issues you will have. Because we were on their asses like white on rice, and they fixed them immediately!
AMEN!! Only way to protect your love ones.
In some cases where a family member gets on their asses, they'll get a court order to keep him out.
You've got a wonderful family. She must have been a great mother and grandmother to you all, and I'm glad you looked after her. Being abandoned is a terrifying thought for most elderly people, and it's heartbreaking. You all are good people.
This is so true!
Respect to you for your care. My first wife ran and owned with her parents a 50 bed assisted living facility and banned a husband from visiting his wife because he complained about her care. I was in the middle of divorcing this woman and he called me begging me to intervene on his behalf but I knew if I said something he absolutely wouldn't have a chance. I told him to contact the county authorities and the news media.
I was a CNA for awhile. If you have to put your loved one in a home, please be very involved with their care. And make sure the staff knows it. Plus please put cameras in their rooms. It's your right and they can't refuse you. They run on a shoestring budget, even the high end ones. We were so overwhelmed. I loved that job, but I just couldn't take the workload or the low pay
Be careful regarding cameras. You need to check the laws of your state regarding recording otherwise you run the risk of being sued for wiretapping or having your evidence thrown out.
@@phr00tsnax possibly true however, the camera would be a good motivator for support staff to be conscientious, no?
Thank you for being a CNA. I'm a quad, and without you folks, I'd be dead. When I broke my neck I was sent to a "rehab". It was a nursing home which had absolutely no rehab facility, It was also a really bad nursing home where things were really bad. My bed was right next to a window which had a corner broken out of it. Mice and rats would run in through it and and right over me. Once in a while a rat would stop and take a bite out of me. I could scream at the top of my lungs but there was no one to hear because they were so understaffed that there was no one on the hall to hear me. Male residents knew that there was no one on the hall, and I got raped repeatedly. I wanted out, but they would not let me go, so I had to sue for my freedom. I got out, but the home was fined only $500 for what they did.
I know that you are speaking the absolute truth because it rings so true with my experience. There were a lot more problems going on there than what I"ve described here. Thre were some things which were absolutely horrendous. Your job was an impossible one, but I thank you for trying. I should say that I am now at home, and my home health aides, all CNA's are angels working for far less pay than they're worth. I remember cards that the company which ran the home I was in gave to its staff. Some of the things which were on it were unconscionable. "Fill the beds and keep them full." "Rake in the cash." Not one thing about taking care of patients. As for the State, I watched money change hands when the inspectors came in, then as soon as the money was counted, the inspectors left. That place was a nightmare. A real nightmare, and I can't begin to say all that I saw. Those of us who had no family were at the mercy of a predatory system which just didn't care about anything but money.
@@CatmanBill you would think so, but not really. People are human and they forget.
@@CatmanBill The Assisted Living where my two siblings tricked our Mom to going (supposedly for rehab after a medical procedure, but she graduated from rehab within days and rehab said she could go home; but my sibling declared to Mom that she was going to stay their "till infinity" and that the facility would be her home) does not allow cameras.
After watching this, I can almost be grateful that my mother passed away last year from cancer and never reached the point where assisted living or a nursing home even was an issue. My dad is now nearly 80 and lives with me and I will do everything I can to make sure that he will never leave the home that he loves.
same except mine is 85
My Dad died in his home of a heart attack but my mother, in spite of my best efforts, ended up in an assisted living facility. The facility was even owned by my wife and I (and operated by my wife) and my wife's parents. Even there she could not get the level of care and quality of life that I wanted for her. My wife worked full time there Monday through Friday and popped in weekends and I hired a person to stay with her during the day and also drive her around but at night our staff simply did not provide good care no matter what I did. Prior to that she lived in her home next to mine and I hired 24 hour staff but that ended up being a nightmare. With three young kids, a wife that didn't take care of them (I was the primary caregiver), staying with my mom, and me working a demanding full time job from home to support my family, even the best I could do was not enough.
My wish is to go like my dad did, just die quickly and not have to go through that especially since I am not wealthy and don't want to be a burden upon my kids.
Same here
You are an Angel.❤ Thank you for taking care of you father. ❤
Yes❤❤❤
I'm so proud of the workers who brought attention to the horrific issues and especially talking to the families.. the world needs more people like you! God Will Bless You All
🙏❤️🙏
Exactly!!! Lots DON'T wanna speak up cause there scared for there own income status or don't care at all. Most walk around laughing, chit chatting & on there phones! Then when u come get one for help they kick rocks, and sigh or act like u shiet in there cereal.
I agree. When I answered important questions asked by family members with elderly residents at the facility I worked at, the owner fired me. The owner would tell me to answer the phone and tell those who ask for her, family of residents, that she was not at the facility. I didn’t answer the phone. The owner was a sheep in wolfs clothing. On top of that, she is a Johova witness.
Emeritus and Civitas.... twin evils.
I'm 95 and my daughter looks after me. I'm fairly independent and when I suggest I enter an assisted living facility to free up her life, she says "Trust me, dad, you will not be happy there." After reading the comments here, I understand why she said it. Great video.
if your daughter is happy to care 4 u then thats great and a big company won't get your money. your daughter will deserve it more
@@mikewatt8706 Newest thing going big business want to tale over nursing homes and end home cars.
Stay home !!
Keeping your oldest loved at home it’s the gift you can give to them and the love of theirs family is all they want ❤
Yes, Recognize that happening when you age and God is on the throne,
They will Reap what they have sown in these places,You will never be sorry for keeping your loved ones.
@@sister1828 exactly if you take them to a nursing home is putting them in a cage without love and very lonely 😔
If you have other family members to help its what should be done! When you are one person that’s a whole other situation.
@@sister1828 😆
Here in the Philippines, we take care of our parents when they grow old. They stay with us in our own homes until they die. We have a culture of loving and caring for our elders.
Yes, thank you
Unfortunately, most people work full time in the U.S. (duel income families) and are not home to be able to care for and keep an eye out of their elderlies. In addition, hiring full-time live-in elderly "yayas" are very expensive especially if they are experienced in elder care. Labor is way cheaper in the Philippines so hiring several "yayas" is a lot more affordable. I have seen a Filipino elderly here in the US who had dementia and the son could not afford putting her in an assisted/memory care. He would just lock her inside her home and would only bring her supplies. The neglect was very sad.
Yes. Or Bring Caregivers Home. Even If They Can Afford One On One Caregivers While Their Parent Lives With Them, They Will Prefer Putting Their Parents In Nursing Homes
Things are going to change in America. Cures! Keeping people at home. We have to go back to one income being enough to support the family, so one parent can stay home. No one will care for your children, your parents, your pets better than you.
@@cocobutterchin6768 Live in caregivers if have spare room. Makes more affordable for family as room and board part of payment, and have monitors.
My mother was adamant about never going into a nursing home!! I was happy to grant her wish!! I found a wonderful person to move in and live with her. She died in her home!! It was the least I could do for her, she took care of me when I was helpless!! I was proud to do the same for her!!
I tell my kids when this subject comes up, 'I took care of you when you didn't know me, I protected you against everything/ everyone, never put you in daycare. Please remember this.
My mom did get to die in her own house. I had a talk with her before that and she was contemplating nursing home and I said mom think about this. You and Kenny got this place to live and die there. In the end she died where her husband slept in the bed and died. I wish she wasn't alone tho. 😪 I miss my Mom.
Proud of you.
The Holy Scriptures says Honor your mother so it can go well with you n that you did👍😏👌
@@margretblair5389
Many don't think so, but
Be Ever Proud that you did
The right thing👍😏💪
I can relate to this having Mom in an assisted-living facility for almost two years. Her health rapidly declined, her personal hygiene degraded, she had fallen and broken her hip, she was medically overdosed, and the facility was gravely understaffed. We visited her practically daily and one Sunday, a visiting priest told us to consider placing her in hospice due to her condition. We pulled Mom out immediately and she lived another three fruitful years with us earning her wings at 89.
May her memory be eternal...
♥️
The way we treat our elderly is truly horrific
Yeah but it's pretty consistent. Per the video, assisted care facilities blew up in the 90s - meaning boomers were putting their parents into them. Now boomers are being put into them.
Prisoners have more rights and are treated way better. I worked in both.
Even before they go to AL. Families often exploit financial and neglect medical needs.
yes it is. we kill our babies before they are born and warehouse our elders.
@@pechoja gi hnvin oiv une
My Mom had a pressure ulcer. We were caring for her at home, with visits by home health-care aides and nurses. They had a wound-care specialist nurse come in and dress the wound (a complicated process) several times a week. They prescribed a medical cushion to alleviate as much pressure as possible, since she was immobile. The family made sure she walked, changed positions, etc. Any time we were concerned, the nurse came out. She had bath aides and other specialized health care by professionals. Her care was outstanding. The fees were modest. I'm thankful she never ended up in one of these nightmare facilities. I can't even imagine the suffering our vulnerable elders are enduring. In some of these business models, they're victims of parasitic greed.
Where I live, that's the stabdard/right for everyone.. you can even get help at home by trained staff when pregnant or sick, you don't have to be elderly..
I worked with it & I loved it! The lack off time was terrible. Bcs we were SO understaffed.
But I loved to learn to know theese elderly people, to come there (and to be wanted) & when they started to like you.. so little ment so mutch for most people.
Ofc there are bad situations, clients who abuse you by being a bully or physical abuse gowards you..
But with some you got to a more friendship level. They wanted YOU to come, the smile when they saw who came, and when they would ask when you would be comming next. It was great & so heartbreaking at the same time!
Over here the goal is to have the elderly to live at home, in their own home as long as possible. And things needed to make tjis possible are provided for you.
You need a ramp bcs you are now in a wheelchair? No problem, it will be installed for you. You have a bad wound? We will sent out specialist wound care nurses to your home. Need a doctor? No problem, she will be comming by your place..
Have cancer, diabetes, bad sight, had a stroke? A specalist cancer, diabetes nurse will be provided for you.
Need that extra help or rehab, you will get ergo & physiotherapists provided for you. And other appliances made to help people with certan issues. Like hearing aid..
Some things are free, others have a small fee, but we have a cost-cealing. When you reach a certain ammount in costs for care/ aid/medicine etc, it will be free from there on to the end off the year..
@@ingridakerblom7577 What if you have dementia and need a caregiver 24/7?
@@maryreynolds8568 that's what family is for. When I was born, I needed all types of attention 24/7 and I received it from both my parents. They never let me or my siblings down and we will not let them down either. We might need to make some minor adjustments here and there but my parents will not go into a facility.
@@olchat2012 You are so blessed to be able to do that. Unfortunately, I have lung disease in an advanced stage. I can hardly get up without having severe breathlessness. If I had the money, I'd move Mom here and have home care. But, that's way beyond the budget. I even considered having them only 8-10 hours per day, but if she fell or needed any type of physical assistance we'd be in big trouble. I can't even cook my own meals.
Please consider that not everyone's family is able to care for them, even though they want to. It hurts to not be able to do so.
My mother is in a very nice place, and we have friends that visit once a week, my husband visits her.
My late mate had lung cancer & throat cancer & they did that for him too , home care , it was extra nice ! & appreciated, ty nurses that did that . 👨🍳👩🍳
I was in assisted living for 6 months. I fell nearly daly, they recorded 8 falls. Had an obstruction that kept me from emptying my stomach and was dropping over 5 lbs a week and vomiting after each meal they bullied me into eating, my hair was falling out. Finally, I found a PA who listened to me and not the employees who said that I was making a big deal out of nothing. I had a precancerous tumor, the size and shape of a cigar removed. They didn't know I was even gone! this was supposed to be a nice place. I'd shoot myself before I go through that again.
fall risk who refused to not self ambulate.
@@andrewflores17 If the falls are what you are focusing on, I sat in a wheel chair except when in therapy. I could get so dizzy that I could take a wheelchair over. the falls diminished greatly when the stomach surgery was done.
@@patmanchester8045 yes as a nurse falls that are preventable are my focus . Glad you got better
WOW!
So sad. Praying for you.
I worked in a nursing home years ago, the way people were treated was appalling! I went into private in home care for 11 years.Honestly the best care is one on one or with a trained in home staff.The seniors are precious, their mistreatment is disgusting
Finding good people in private in-home care is difficult to find too. Staff like to stay on their cell phones stolen from the families that hire them, so up late to report to work and are lazy too. The pay rate is low for the caretakers as the companies they work for take most of the pay.
It is disgusting and they sit in their filth and have huge coding violations. And it does stink. Of pee, death etc. Infections etc. It is horrific. I need to take this chance and become a manager and or owner and an inspector
@@grandmanancy4719 they let them sit in their filth and they can't change themselves and excuses if why their forced to wait,. Intentionally diddle daddle and force medications to residents that is not needed.
❤️ you are absolutely right Linda..
@@grandmanancy4719 our personal experience is positive, but I guess it's a matter of getting lucky, and good care shouldn't rely on that..
Former assisted living care staff here: When we got too "close" to the residents, when we actually cared for them as if they were our own family, we were reprimanded and eventually fired. We were often told that we were spending too much time with any one resident. I had to leave the care profession because I felt that I wasn't able to properly care for the residents, and it was taking a toll on my mental health. I loved the residents like they were my family, and I was reprimanded for it. I just couldn't do it anymore.
This Shameful greedy industry with a reputation of overpriced , horror stories of abuse, neglectful services ,inexperienced uncaring staffs .....I wish state inspections do more before someone dies, and have undercover and surveillance cameras to keep them accountable. So expensive it’d be better to hire qualified people like you to work at their homes.
Thanks for speaking up. I live in asst living in Utah. My CNA’s and Med techs are so good to us. We appreciate their personal connections. It is so hard on us when they quit for better income and better circumstances. Like teachers, they are so veryunder valued and I’m underpaid . 😢 sad
I don't blam you...... I'm a quadriplegic and I'm currently in one. I finally had enough of the constant verbal abuse I'm subjected to on a daily basis and listening to the other residents receiving the same verbal abuse... I"m currently in the process of moving into a good skilled nursing facility that I rehabbed in 6 years ago. I was in another one previous to this one because my POA's mother was in there... It was an f-ing nightmare... I was jerked up by my arm and then body slammed into my chair on my second day there--the workers barely spoke English if at all. I was hurt daily sometimes multiple times every day for 4 months I was forced to go in a facility due to my losing caregivers due to covid... If I had stayed any longer I would've found a way to commit suicide. One year later I'm still recovering from the physical damage, some of which will be permanent. There were roaches and ants everywhere, the smell of urine was pretty strong... my POAS could not visit due to the covid locked down so they could not see it for themselves. It took a home visiting nurse that they sent to confirm everything I was telling them and more-I mean how can people know their relative or friend is being abused during lockdowns??. My current place didn't hurt me but they do yell, scream and lecture the residents for the smallest infractions that they couldn't help it. And if anybody starts crying the workers get doubly pissed off and they're demanded to stop crying why hurling insults and criticisms at them... like that's going to help... While we were under a 2 month long lockdown, I was going stark raving mad from the lack of intelligent conversation and no physical contact beyond the barest minimum care-- I get maybe 30 minutes of care in a 24-hour period, which usually involved being lectured, yelled and screamed at... ... I craved hugs and cuddles. When they open up and my friends can visit I"m going to tell the workers to go f- themselves I don't give a damn about social distancing I'm getting my damn hugs and cuddles in. During my 1 and half year stay in assisted living, I started asking questions about their training only to find out they are no more qualified to work with any resident in any facility much less flip burgers at a fast food place. And they work with highly vulnerable people with special needs with zero training and zero supervision. My POA is reluctantly honoring my request to be moved to a nursing home and after he watched this documentary he's now fully on board. There have been good workers but they don't last very long because they're reprimanded for getting too involved and spending too much time with residents that may need a little more attention and they're paid minimum wage... not enough to survive on.... After I get a book I've written closely based on my childhood edited and published I'm going to write a book on my experiences in the home healthcare system and the assisted living system, and its not gonna be pretty. I'm sorry that you were forced out for doing what families have trusted the facility to do... It's sad really that the ones who stay in that form of work don't care .... they're practically getting away with murder in one form or another... I don't know what else to call it and nothing is done about it... IF I hadn't had my long hair cut off because they kept jerking my head aroun, injuring my neck further at that last place I was in while they were 'caring' for my hair, I swear they would've broken my neck again before I got out of there. I have a lot of pent-up anger and frustrations with the ALF system that I can barely think straight anymore and I'm eager to get out of here... I haven't informed the owner or the manager of my plan, because my instincts tell me that's the best course of action, but in the meantime, I'm glad this documentary popped up....
It's the same with the good nurses here in Ireland. The good ones are leaving 😢 because they're over worked and not allowed get close to their patients.
Long go the medical profession was more caring.
The young Dr's are not near as good or caring as tge older Dr's.
If modern Dr's hadn't Google I don't know what they'd do. Tge older generation of Dr's had to use their brains.
Once medical care becomes private it becomes abusive because it becomes all about the €€££$$ and making money for the shareholders and pension funds.
I am so so sorry. I've only worked with children. It is the same. The individual's capability and value was unreconized. I love you and yours. No matter what. Love, Sherry
Sad but true. This is the reality. As a former nurse working in a LTC facility, this story is 100% accurate. Never enough staff. Too few care aids and nurses, and too many "Managers".
Yes ! most facilities are very top heavy. Office lounge lizards only see them when corporate people are there.
Actually worked at a place that had more management than aids during the day.
If you can't take care of your loved one by yourself how can you expect one aid to care for 30 residents. People are delusional.
Health care system is broken control by corporations.
@@mojojeinxs9960 sadly we see what we want to see.
@@GeneralSocietyInc we are all being trafficked.
Managers who do NOT do their jobs and are just greedy to make more money
Yes, too many managers making mega bucks.
My mother was my world, my rock and best friend. I never even once thought about pu6her in any nursing home. I kept her home, with watching every move the home health aides did. She was bed bound, and we had aides for 24/7 I had the best doctor's coming to see her, and they all told me, if it wasn't for me she wouldn't be alive.
"A mother is like no other, she gave me life, and it was my turn, to make sure she was alive and well" my mother died in 2013, and my life completely changed. I miss her so much♥️🙏IF I HAD THE OPPORTUNITY I WOULD DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN......TO HAVE HER IN MY LIFE AND TAKE CARE OF HER LIKE I DID.♥️🙏♥️🙏♥️🙏♥️🙏♥️
I did the same thing for my grandmother. God bless! 💯👍
What a loving memory of you n your lovely mom, now she's gone n so I would not feel ok if I didn't share a scripture with you one that I read so often because I too lost a loving mom. I always say God could not have given me the best parents in the world. But this scripture brings me comfort knowing that God does not lie. John 5:28-29, Don't just read it for yourself but do the research n I'm sure when you find the truth your heart will fill with joy. Thank you for Sharing your experience.
Yo dood i feel ya. I had my mom till death at 87.
I stayed with her 6 years... What a blessing for me.
@@bobink123
What a blessing & A Genuine Loving Experience to last you a life time, Somethings in life many dont appreciate. What a heart you have n that what God looks at, because in reality our hearts are treacherous because of sin n imperfection, but when you go out your way to care for a Love one God will draw close to you and look out for you. Thanks for Sharing 👍😏
God Bless You!
No one can take care of an elderly relative like the family. Keep your elderly parent at home. Lord have mercy on the elderly. 🙏🙏🙏.
Isn't it obvious by now that your lord isn't having mercy on any one in these hellholes????
Follow the money.
Unless & until more Americans do that, prayers aren't going to change anything.
@@andreah6379. You are so wrong!. And are lying
Exactly!
I've worked in assisted living facilities for over 5 years. Everything these caregivers were saying was 100% correct, I've witnessed it first hand as well. Admitting people who have needs that go beyond what assisted living is supposed to do, firing people that make complaints about residents that need too much care, constantly short staffed, and the pay for the increased work load is insulting.
Yes Lord you are so right..I'm still in the healthcare business and I try my best to look out for the residents but when the company just cares about the money how much strength I drange out my body and soul each day for my residents I can't even believe but at the end of the day I go and let God use me....
Agreed.. I've been a caregiver for 26 years... Never got paid a living wage. I loved my job - I loved my residents. But, companies like Emertus only love one thing - MONEY. I worked in admissions at a nursing home. I lasted two days. All they cared about was "filling beds". I cared about the PEOPLE - this was a conflict of interest with the company I worked for! I quit admissions because I felt like I was part of the problem.. I couldn't ethnically do the job. This is heartbreaking for most of the caregivers who truly care about the elderly. We feel so hopeless..
Some things just shouldn't be profit driven, they want to capitalism the hell out of a car or a phone or whatever, fine. But anything to do with caring for humans should not be solely focused on money.
Hit that nail on the head
@@bertbaker7067for surw😊
This is still too common. When my mom were in assistants living facility, she said it was worse than prison. Profit over people dignity. We bury our mom one week ago. Lord, I miss mom!
May she rest with God and know love and peace that she did not here.
Families do it for the right reasons, out of love and respect for the parents. I believe these places need regulations and discuss with the people placing the parents in the homes what they can expect in regards to the person, a clean room and bathroom. Watch their mental and physical state. Their meals have a menu,helps those that prepared the meals a guide for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The types of food the residents can eat and drink. After meals rest and take care of their bathroom business, then rest or go out side to exercise and relax listen to radio or watch TV.
As a former CNA that worked in an assisted living, I can confirm that. We were so overworked , that it was impossible to provide quality care. There is so much unreported abuse and management just sweeps it under. I loved my residents but I knew they were not getting the care they needed or deserved.
My heart is with you. it's been years. i understand. a MOST difficult. loss.
So sorry for your loss😥
I was a caregiver for 12 years. Alzheimer's and Dementia was my expertise. I worked with clients(became adopted family) not only in their homes but at facilities. This is so true and yet so heartbreaking!
Coming from a nurse, whose spouse and son are also nurses, this documentary is quite spot on. I applaud you for making these cases known to a wider audience. Many, many people go into healthcare for the wrong reasons; sounds like the big corps who own assisted living as some of those folks. Thank you for taking the time to make this amazing piece of work.
I used to be a state nursing home investigator. Independent living is far less regulated but read up on the laws and regulations they operate under. Ask to see state or local inspection reports. Periodically review your loved ones records. Be on a first name basis with the administrator and Director of Nursing. If laws permit it, consider a nanny cam. Know what medications are being given. Connect with family of other residents, and agree to look in on each other’s loved ones when visiting. Most senior living staff are dedicated but are understaffed, ask if there’s anything you can do to help out with your loved one.
That is the most solid piece of advice I have seen. I hope others take the time to read it as it is spot on with all of it. Coincidentally I just made a Sunshine Request to the State to get all the records I can.
My mother-in-law was incontinent and was having trouble making meals, showers, and getting around generally. They admitted her into assisted living, I expressed concern to my husband and sisters-in-laws to no avail. Three days in the assisted living facility she was found on the floor of her room, ended up in a nursing home and died a week later. Assisted living facilities are more concerned about money and numbers and don't turn away residents that cannot live safely in an assisted living facility. It's a big problem. Thank you addressing this issue.
That is awful
My aunt was in a nursing home, with full-blown dementia. She was supposed to be watched at all times, but somehow she got out of her room and fell down the stairs and died.
@@Me-lb8nd so true it all about the money 💰 and they don't pay those patients no attention that would be the last choice l would make but some time you have to do what you have to do God take care of us all
@@Me-lb8nd
I’m sorry for your loss.
That is just terrible and things like this should NEVER happen. 💕
When our dad was diagnosed with cancer, there was talk about putting him into a nursing facility. I made it clear that would happen over my dead body! We settled on hospice care in his home. The hospice care nurse was wonderful. He died during the night a week later, in the comfort of his own bed with US in the residence.
I had the chance to experience this with my Grandma in Assisted Living, who passed away at 93 after living in 2 different facilities for 7 years. What's strange is the way that the facilities treat the families of residents. The families are looked at as the enemy of the facility. Countless times workers at the facility were accepting cash tips from my Grandma for coming by to do things that are required of them. They got so relaxed with it that when I would be visiting and they would come by, they wouldn't leave until my Grandma fetched the cash to pay them, they didn't even care that I was standing in front of them. It turns out that it was illegal what they were doing, one of the "Nurses" was fired because of it. It didn't skip a beat and it continued to the end. When my Grandma passed away they ransacked her room for valuables, purses and other things that they had their eyes in waiting for her to pass away. It was a disgusting situation.
Thank you. So many on here responding differently, but those of us who have been through it and aren't employed by the facilities know the truth. Most of the time, nurses and aides can be found at the desk, around the rotunda, gossiping and ignoring call buttons.
That IS illegal. I’m a caregiver and we had a guy with dementia who loved to tip. It made him feel good, and when I denied his tip, his whole demeanor changed, he treated me like I thought he was beneath me, and that wasn’t my intention. I spoke with his family, who had no idea their dad HAD wads of hundreds in his room, much less tipping the staff with $100 bills! We came up with a plan, to get him stage money. That way, he could continue to flex his wealth, without actually loosing any money, or being taken advantage of. Also, I encourage anyone who is making the tough decision to place a family member with dementia to switch out their jewelry for costume jewelry. Weight loss is a definite, and they can loose their rings and watches without noticing , and when they are confused, they tend to share items, or give items to other residents to make friends. Not to mention some staff are thieves. This way you can keep priceless family heirlooms in the family
Ben, I'm sitting here reading this with my mouth open in shock!!! That type of behavior disgusts me to my core! I've worked in 2 facilities as a nurse aide and if I would've witnessed this, you can bet that I would've called admin or even the police. I'm so sorry this happened to her.
What is the facility name and place?
This is absolutely disgusting of them to do. I had worked as a CNA for 8 years, a few of those years I was a travel CNA in the state of Iowa. I can't say I have ever seen anybody act like that, however I would absolutely turn them in or even call the state. Working as a cna that is hired through a 3rd party, most nursing homes cared very little about what I had to say. I found it to be the worst in the really small towns where their budgets are even smaller. I'd go out of my way every day to help my residents, sometimes it was something as simple as stopping by their room, finding out what kind of cookie or snack they would like and the going to get it. Never in a million years would I have thought of demanding money from my residents, making them happy as a result of my actions was payment enough for me. I got into that line of work to make positive impacts on the lives of the elderly and to hopefully make their lives a little bit easier. I've told my own mother that I will never put her into a nursing home. When you work in them, you see a completely different side of the industry, where residents are mainly just dollar signs. As a travel aide, I felt it was my duty to report these nursing homes for things they were or were not doing. Unfortunately the people I worked with who were employed through the facility often felt it was better to not say anything. Not that I agree, but I can see why. There are so many things wrong in this industry, I tried to make the biggest difference I could, but eventually I had to get out..thankfully that was right before covid
Mortician here. I often pick up bodies from assisted living and staff are impossible to find. Was there after midnight once and I wandered thru the facility alone for 30 min. I walked from the street into the unlocked bldg and poked around in the kitchen, front office, game room and basement until I found staff watching movies.
This is gross. Some things should not be turned into business. Schools, healthcare, senior homes.. it’s disgusting. Imagine being ok with getting rich off of this? We as a species need to grow out of this greed or else we surely will disappear and for good reason.
I have been saying this very thing for decades. The U.S. is a country of all things disposable. Even us.
You should travel to other countries. Americentrism is real.
@@GeneTickles what do you mean?
I just QUIT a private home last week!!!! I was with these Precious residents, PEOPLE!! Seniors that deserve the Best Level of RESPECT and DIGNITY, they were not giving, I was there 2 days, NEVER RETURNED!! I didn’t bother calling who hired me, although I did make some calls!!!!!
Agree
This family is 100 % correct. Every facility my husband was in had the same problems.
I am a retired RN,BSN.with over 40 yrs. Of experience.
Sadly,even after paying thousands each month, the facilities were nightmares.
The focus is GREED and not about the quality of the care in most of these places.
So true. I have been working ALF's for close to 10 years now and totally agree with you. Though I've seen some real kind and knowledgeable caregivers I Also know that the reverse is true. Let's remember that to marketers it's about the money. It's big business. So sad!
I have heard so many horror stories. If I can't continue to take care of myself, I will take myself out. I will never go into those HORROR show homes.
Why use them...
Mother was at a facility, I was out of town for a few days, I returned and called only to find out she went into a coma two days earlier. No one called me when it happened. She passed about 20 minutes after our visit. I won't ever trust these places again.
My wife and I are 82. Living in a 3 BR home in central Florida. We have considered to move to an Independent Living Home with attached Assisted Living option. The Independent place cost $6,000/month for one person. Less for the second person. No claim of any assistance except food. Any help from nurses, doctors, etc would be extra and need to be arranged by us. Our only son died (cancer) recently. Other relatives are far away. We are looking at our options and listening to this video is part of that effort.
hope you are still alive. did you move. have you thought about getting a live in carer but it can be hard to find people you can trust these days
@@mikewatt8706 Sadly, that's true. When I was working as an in-home caregiver, I heard of a couple of other caregivers who had stolen their client's credit cards and gone on a shopping spree at his expense. That made me very angry, as that behavior and similar gives home healthcare a bad name and makes people reluctant to hire any of us. Those two were caught, however, and held accountable (a rare event in today's justice system).
That's why I encourage anyone considering hiring home health aides to thoroughly vet them. Demand references, check police records, consult with their schools or training facilities, interview them and trust your instincts. And, KEEP A CLOSE EYE ON THEM!
I put my mom in high end assisted living TEMPORARILY, so I could get my apartment ready for her to live with me. She went in on a Friday, late afternoon. They told me not to visit for 3 days so she could get acclimated to their schedule. On Tuesday, I walked in and found her in a coma with blood on her sheets. Saturday night, she was dead. Cause of death- dehydration, pneumonia, sepsis- all from neglect. Bottom line- they are LYING when they tell you they will take care of your loved one. They want your money. They won't sue me for defamation because I have all the proof- even the bloody sheets- and the hospital has photos of the cuts on her feet that were never treated leading to sepsis- and the only way a 92 yr old can die of dehydration is if water is withheld for 3 days.
Omg! That is horrific. I'm sorry 😞 you had to go thru that. It appears that they had no incentive to keep her alive and thriving since they knew she was only going to be there temporarily. God bless your Mom. You must miss her terribly.
I’m so sorry. I’m not sure how you are surviving. Turn towards God that’s all you can do. God was with your mother during that time.
😢😢😢very sad
Places like the assisted living facility your Mom was at will keep neglecting and abusing elders until they are STOPPED. The only way to stop them is to hold them accountable both criminally (when applicable) and through filing civil lawsuits. File a report with your state's Dept. of Human Services. Under state law, they must investigate and document it. (Maybe you have already done this?) Please look for a good law firm who has a good attorney who will give you a free consultation, then take the case pro bono (where you don't have to pay any legal fees) or on contingency (you pay legal fees if you win). You can try to report this to your state's attorney general, but if he/she is a Republican, good luck. You can also try talking to your state senators and representatives. Chances are, your state already has laws and regulations that are supposed to prevent things like this from happening, so I don't know if politicians and legislators can do much. I think a good attorney is what you need. I am terribly sorry for what happened to your Mom and to you. My hope is that some good can come from it and that the assisted living facility will be held fully accountable.
Wow, I’m sorry this happened
I worked in nursing homes and assisted livings as a maintenance director. The nursing assistants and housekeeping staff are usually overworked, under paid and their work unappreciated. They love and care for their residents as much as any nurse or doctor. The mantra in that industry is "bodies in beds". I worked in 2 Emeritus facilities. In both buildings they completely cut out the housekeeping and laundry staff. The nursing assistants were expected to provide care to their assigned residents, clean the rooms, do their laundry and were expected to vacuum the hallways in front of their residents rooms! It doesn't have to be this way and not all countries are like this. As long as we expect for profits to provide this care or healthcare in general this is what we and our loved ones will get. We all must take some responsibility for this. None of us would be willing to or could pay extra taxes into a system that would provide quality care. It's not just shame on them it's also shame on us.
Just the same as in any business. I feel bad for McDonalds cashiers, taking my order at the same time taking drive thru orders through the headphone set on their head. AND wearing a damn mask!
Well and accurately said
Yup. My gf worked in an "assisted living" home for about 10 years. She ofter would break down crying when she got home and told me how terrible the day was. Majority of the time she couldn't even take a lunch break. I eventually talked her into quitting the job.
@@mattzilla331 I'm glad she got out of there Matt. I'm sitting here almost frozen in horror for when I visit my mom in September 500 miles away in a memory care unit. Last year I couldn't get in because they have shut the place down because of the covid case. Nobody in or out. It's really rough talking to her on the phone. With the Alzheimer's and such. I really just want to see her legs and arms and stomach and back. I want to see her sheets. I think every child that has a mother or father in these facilities should inspect at least twice a week (if that option exists). If it's your partner then certainly you're going to be there.
I'm a practical Nurse. We are expected to be everything at once, nurse, doctor, tv repair man, chef, cleaner/housekeeper, therapist, fysiotherapist, electricians, plumbers, accountant, personal assistant and so on..
As soon as a problem appears, for some reason, people think that the nursing staff should be the ones fixing it.. It's somehow my job to fix your dads TV?! Though it's explained carefully what's to be expected from the staff & what's included & not in the price.
Many things are not possible for us to do.
Bcs as nurses we are there to do a certain job, & if we dont do it, no one will. Demand is high & resorces really low..
So we HAVE to focus our resorces on being a nurse bcs thats why we are there & that demand & need from our clients never goes away.
This understaffing seems to be an issue everywhere in the world, bad wages are the the 1st reason, 2 is the demand. 3 the lack off support & having a huge responsability, so we get thrown under the bus, after working an impossible situation, getting burned out for yeears & years.
You get fed up & leave the profession.
And when things are so bad & you think that things just can't get any worse. BOOM they suddely cut the budget even more, plus some other stupid change that makes our work even more impossible to carry out in a proper way..
To everyday go home feeling bad, sad & angry. You feel ashamed over your work. You work yourself to death & it's dosent matter. If you fell down dead on the spot, your boss would probably criticize for "not being able to stand against dying, so lazy!"
Somehow it comes down to one thing, society really don't care about our elders. We have different systems, different countries, different continets..
But in many ways (not all) the issues are the same.
So sad, the way our elders with money are treated, IMAGINE what it must be like in a place for assisted living guests who can not afford $3,000 +/monthly.
In California it is called the street.
@@hudson2861 how many do you know living in the streets. You're referring to seniors. Not happening here in Texas.
3000 is cheap.
If you have MediCAID, you can get in and NOT be charged the 3k and up. MediCARE does NOT pay for Assistance Living nor Nursing Homes.
They are usually treated better. They are in a nursing home which is regulated by the state.
Dad had dementia. 7000 a month. . 13 months he lasted. If I live long enough and develop dementia I pray for a moment of clarity . This way I can blow my own head off, so to take comfort in knowing Granger Cobbs of the world won't profit
Andy…pls don’t say that! Your life matters..you might think it doesn’t but with an act like that you leave people behind that have to remember you going in that matter. Pls don’t
There are other countries with better senior care than the US. Plan now. Your are valuable and needed. I feel your fear but you DO have optiins. Try to find a partner
@@lynb2039 Senior care is dire around the world - especially for Dementia and Alzheimers. Even when you have money your options are few.
I worked at a assisted living center for one day. It was awful! The co workers where beyond rude and so rude to the people living there! I worked in the kitchen and I watched a woman sit and yell at a patient because they simply asked what time dinner was and what was for dinner. I couldn’t work there
I hope you leave a review of that place on google, glass door and yelp. People who are researching places tend to check those resources.
Why didnt you kick anyones ass? Oh thats right, because we are a nation of chattel.
@@maryreynolds8568 yes, don't use your real name, use a code name, if not, they come after you and want to sue.
Where .I was fir 5 nightmare months they served pork choos, hard as a rock with only a spoon. They served a ball of chicken salad on a scrap of lettuce. It was red….cayenne red to be exact. They did this several times…because. they could. My roommate was blind. Half the time they didn’t open her milk or anything else. She barely ate because she couldn’t see what was on her plate.
@@maryreynolds8568 no…people researching nursing homes and assisted living facilities go to the facility’s website where that sweet old lady with the joyful smile is posing under a straw hat with a flower she’s planting in a window box…you know that resident..lhealthy, well fed and living the life of her dreams in Hapoymont…where patient care is the highest priority……..some allow questions or comments but delete anything negative. I actually posted the styrofoam containers of slop they served for Christmas on the website. It was immediately taken down. Couodn’t find that sweet, happy resident that day. Maybe she went home for Christmas.
I am a former CNA--worked in a rehab, nursing home, that had assisted living. It was a nightmare. Chronically understaffed!! Very often I was the ONLY person on the swing shift to take care of 44 patients!!! One night it was 88! Walking off the job, in OREGON even due to understaffing is tantamount to "patient abandonment. I turned in my own employer and still the state did zero!! I secretly encouraged families to make complaints to the state just so that investigators would come out to see for themselves! It was horrifying. I had been in the medical field 23 years, and was studying to get my RN license, and was functioning as a CMA finally in the assisted living side. I had to beg four RN's to allow me to call an ambulance for a patient who was suffering from chest pain and shortness of breath. I knew he was having problems, as I watched his vital signs change and he was going down hill. I knew he was dying on me. He was NOT DNR either. Finally when paramedics did come, he died for 15 seconds according the EKG monitor, then bam, they managed to save him, and rushed him to the hospital. Later this same patient thanked me for saving his life.
In 2018 my own mother passed away from 17 medical errors that were made causing her death. The biggest one, a misdiagnosis of a cyst on her kidney. My mother suffered in pain and felt terrible. She lost her ability to walk, and became incontinent. She wound up falling and going to the hospital ER, she contracted a hospital acquired infection which almost killed her. Then she was shipped off to a nursing home, which had a hoyer accident and tore her rotator cuff in several places. They nearly dehydrated her to death. I had to call 911 and have paramedics rescue her from the nursing home and take her to the ER, where they refused to do any type of scans or MRI to diagnoses her injuries. She was clearly bruised up.
She was shipped off to another nursing home, and they tried to force her to rehabilitate torn rotator cuff until she could no longer voluntarily raise her arm. I heard screams coming from PT, and found that they had secured her arm with weights and were forcing her to raise her arm with the use of a mechanical weight machine. Each time her arm was raised over her head she screamed in pain.
The Floor RN refused to give her prescribed pain medications. He also refused her life saving asthma inhaler, "Maybe I should just let you suffocate, Mrs. ". So now I had to stay by her side on a cot next to her bed. I caught this RN--taunting my mother, holding her medication out of reach, "Do you want something for pain, oh guess not...you cannot reach it, too bad, guess you cannot reach your inhaler either..." I raised up off of that cot, which had been out of his eye sight with the quiet fury of a mama bear protecting her cubs and ordered that nut to give my mother her medications before I called the police and had him arrested for attempted murder. Even though I complained as did my Dad, the facility did zero!!
After my mother collapsed, she was back in the hospital with a basketball sized growth slightly off to the side of her gut. She had a giant tumor! It was cancer of course. She was dying, we could see this of course. She was in total agony. I asked for pain meds, and was told her doctor was worried about her becoming addicted!! I was her health representative, and ordered she be put on pain meds and hospice. She died in another care home, we were forced to put her in, about 6 weeks later.
I am still haunted by the last 3 months of my mother's life and the crappy care she got for all the huge amount of money my Dad paid for insurance premiums, co-pays, and private money paid. There are vet offices who treat pets better than the way my MOM is treated. OUR medical system is broken!
A person has to be smarter than their MD, and have a family member who knows the ins and outs of the insurance system, and medical system to aid their loved one. Do not, do not for one minute leave your loved one unattended in any nursing home, or care facility or rehab center, or Medical foster care home, or hospice center, or hospital. There always needs to be an educated, advocate, who has Power of Attorney, and is legally the medical designated person to make decisions staying with that hospitalized person 24/7/365. I will not to to an ER, I refuse. I have my own BP cuff, oximeter, glucose meter, inhalation machine and meds and epi pens, and the works. I treat myself at home. I have almost died in an ER--twice due to malpractice. My own sister had to use my own EPI pens and inhalers to treat me while I was in the ER bay due to mismanagement of the ER. MY own MD gets this!
I will ONLY go to an ER if one of my limbs is physically amputated, I have been shot and cannot remove the bullet myself, or have a stab wound that has injured an internal organ. I will stitch up my cuts.
I feel for these people, I started crying--and I wanted to tell MY story--so people would understand that I really do understand, and why I got so emotional listening to this program and it caused me to really cry, and almost vomit. I am so sorry for these people! My heart just goes out to them!!! I am praying for them. I did forgive all those who harmed my mother, so that I could have some peace. I did write complaints, however, as a family we did not sue. Instead we asked for a medical records autopsy. The place that cared for her, was a huge Medical HMO--we pleaded with them to educate themselves.
This did generate phones calls of sympathy and absolute shock and horror at what had happened to my mother. It is 2022 now, and it is still spoken of by some of my current physicians, and they tell me, my mother's case is still being used as a teaching case of WHAT NOT to DO to a patient! This is far better than a lawsuit in my eyes. Much better than a fine.
I think this year I finally got over the anger of her death and blaming myself. I still miss my dear mother, and my Mom and Dad were married 56 years! I see my DAD twice a week, he is still in mourning. I love him dearly! My siblings are still in different stages of grief.
God bless you and thanks for this program. thanks for giving a me a forum to share my story!
@Michelle Reed, heartbreaking 💔. I have no words....God Bless You!
Thank you for sharing your story. It’s heartbreaking but helpful to those of us who are approaching old age and to those who have older relatives. The medical system is not out to help it’s mostly out to harm.
My mother is in a nursing facility, she says the food is horrible, and I know it is,it's so understaffed that she has to wait for everything.I wish she didn't have to be there but she has to be.I wish I could win the lottery and bring her home...
Thank you for sharing yours, and your mother's experience. It is utterly unconscionable what she was put through. And you and your father! I am incredibly angry and sorrowful for the hellish pain and trauma! These are the times when what I wish for most is that God would somehow reward these beasts of evil with the exact same treatment they gave to others. I am not a vindictive person, but I have no sympathy or compassion for such actions and attitudes.
Whatever your beliefs, I want to share my testimony that your dear mother was embraced by The Lord Himself in His complete and all encompassing arms of mercy and love, when she passed on. I pray that you and your father will be blessed with an increase of strength and relative peace that will sustain you both. You are incredibly brave to allow your decisions to be ones of teaching to those medical personnel who have heard of this tragedy. That is an amazing act of selflessness, in my opinion! I pray that you will TRUELY forgive yourself of the guilt you feel regarding it all. You are 1 human trying to deal with so many layers of a broken system of greed and of inexplicable apathy and cruelty, that is beyond the imagination of decent, civilized human beings.
I DO NOT HAVE WORDS THAT ARE ADEQUATE by any means. Please know I will pray for you and your father, and any others who loved your mother as well!
Take very good care of you, both! God Bless you with the comfort of His Holy Spirit. 🕊💞
My heart breaks for you. I know you speak the truth. I had knee replacement surgery and had to spend four months in a facility and I can’t even begin to speak about some of the shit I saw
I took care of my father who had dementia. He never wanted to go to the hospital or be sent away. Our family decided to hire caregivers who would attend to him on a 12-12 hr basis at home. It may be a bit costly, but we all have peace of mind and the welfare of our loved one. It's the least we can do to honor our parents.
You were fortunate to be able to afford it and have other family members to help. I am all there is for my mother with dementia.
Fortunately you could pay.
@@melianna999 depending on where you live in the US, some caregivers are cheaper than Assisted living or care homes.
@@joanodom2104 I pray for your strength in her care . May God honor your sacrifice . Look into some caregiver counseling or helping hands from a friend .
That's wonderful and ideal. Not everyone has that kind of money as you do though. In home NURSING companies I called do NOT take Medicaid. What are regular working people supposed to do? (Serious question.) I'm old and just want to be allowed an assisted death when my time comes. But it's illegal to help anyone die in peace and with dignity. 😞
My Mom was in assistant living for about 2 years then moved to nursing facilities owned by the same group. I felt like she received good care. I visited her a couple of times a week and she seemed happy. After a few months she went to memory care and shortly passed. The staff were smiling and friendly. However the week I was cleaning out her stuff I noticed the staff seemed down and doors were closed and locked for the first time. When I asked why the change. I was told new management. Glad my Mom was under the old management.
I applied to be a home health aide. I was interviwed, asked my experience which was none, immediately given a written test that I guessed at. Questions concerning tbi, etc. I guessed at the answers.
I was immediately hired, given an assignment with no training whatsoever. I declined the job and never went back.
I cared for my 90 YO mother with advanced Alzeimer's until she passed. I could never leave her to one of those horrible, for-profit, homes. They could not even compare to the quality of care I could give mom. Yes, it was too much for me and it caused me much physical, emotional, financial and spiritual pain. But I would do it all over again. The quality of life should be everyone right.
You're blessed that you could do that for her. What about someone that has to work, pay rent, medicines, medical care... and can't be in 2 places at the same time... it's impossible nowadays 😔
@@FabiSeixas most people in impoverished countries would never leave their elders in nursing facilities. It's not impossible if there is a will.
@Deva Kolb you did a priceless act. God bless you!
@@b52270 100%
There should be no considering of any other way!!! That is your Mama! She would never do that to you! You said it 100% no one will care for them better than you! Although there are some evil people who are capable of mistreating their own loved ones. Even though they had good parents and were good to them when they were children.
We cared for my dad at home ourselves as well. It was very hard, not the doing for him. To see him that way, it hurt so bad! I would have done anything for him not to go through that. I would do it all over again as well.
I've worked in several nursing homes over the years until I retired and that's the exact reason I'm now helping take care of my mom who has dementia.
If your loved ones are staying mainly in bed, whether it's at home or in an assisted living center or a nursing home, ALWAYS ALWAYS keep an eye out for pressure sores!!!
I just spent a couple weeks in a Rehab facility after a major stroke.
Most of the nursing staff and aides were very good and professional
However I did encounter some who were angry when they had to change out my sheets or turn me over to put Sauve on my bed stores.i was very determined to get physical rehab.& go home! I was able to do in 4 weeks but there were some hostile.aides which I never reported. I now believe I should have. I be
After reading the comments here I dear I feel like I have a mission to make sure that nobody winds up in a facility facility where they are going to be abusedAfter reading the comments here I dear I feel like I have a mission to make sure that nobody winds up in a facility facility where they are going to be abused. I can see that as a potential for anybody especially anybody with dementia.. I want to make sure my kids understand understand that if I complain they should listen to me and not a staff member at some facility I am in at that time. Hopefully my rehab will go very well at home and and with the physical help and the watchful eye of my own physician. It is something that I never thought I would have to worry about for myself
My mother was in a facility for Special needs as a handicap person many years ago. She and my dad were covered by my dad's health insurance through his company and and they had excellent add excellent insurance and assurance and assistance. Most of us today are on national national healthcare plans such as United healthcare health care and I do not think that those plans are administered the same they're more about cutting their losses. I have never experienced this before but but now I will have to investigate not just for me but for those I love and those who are in this situation now and don't know how to investigate And wind up with poor health care.
Thank you Tandy for your insights. I would like to keep in touch if possible. You will see my remarks below. I am in Dallas Texas and yes that's my real name.
This doesn't just happen with the elderly or in assisted living. I spent 6weeks in a skilled nursing facility because of a surgery where I needed 24-hour care as I am also a wheelchair user. This was in my 30s. I saw what went on and how residents were treated. I started to speak up and therefore staff did not like me. When I started to become mobile and able to use my wheelchair again, the staff started shutting doors, so I could not see what they were doing in the rooms while I roamed the halls and socialized. They also got beyond pissed that I asked what each medication was for every dose, rather than being handed a cup and just taking it. The reality is that if residents do not have visitors and cannot advocate for themselves, they will not be alive much longer. It is all about money... if you don't have it, the gov't does not care. Same is happening in homecare as well. I am a disability advocate in MA and it scares me to know that I will be in this situation when I become elderly.
Wow!!
That’s terrible! Thank you for sharing your story.
it definitely is cary...i just witnessed alot of what you said here, myself. The treatment (or lack of treatment) is appalling and if you question anything, you get blacklisted....it's very shocking.
My lady friend (Girl friend) was a worker in the assisted living work. She was 63 years old . She told me that she never will go to any of these places that help the seniors. She has seen the horror that goes on there. All the people in the assisted care wanted her to help them. They knew that she was kind and treated them well. Even patients who did not want to take food and medicine as they wanted to die, listened to her and took the medicine. My girl friend died peacefully one day when we were talking in the dining room , she had a heart attack and died on her way to the hospital.
Because she was a good person GOD gave her wish to die without going to the nursing home. God bless you all.
I am so glad my father didnt end up in one of these..My older sister and I overseed him in his home. He stayed quite mobile in his 90's till he was about 95. He then needed a wheelchair but still was quite mobile, could still walk alittle. He lived to be two months shy of 98 and not taking any meds ever and he was able to live out his life in his own home.. I pray I can too.
I was a caregiver for twenty five years in California. The facilities that look beautiful have the worst staff. The places you walk into and say to yourself, “I would not let my dog stay here.” Have the best staff. Weird how that works.
Yes! I work for this run-down old personal Care home the building was 115 years old loved that job. Hardy ever Unfortunately they closed now at a luxury AL what a nightmare.
I wouldn't be surprised if the lower end facility patients were less drugged (poisoned). I had similar experience at a lower end health provider after insurance change where the staff was more candid, honest about issue I'd been dealing with for extended period
Not too weird when you think about it: money is spent on appearances as opposed to patient care (all phases, including maintenance). Once the patient is hooked, money is suddenly "tight"!
I will never ever regret taking care of mom until her death even though it was very difficult both physically and mentally and financially (I quit my job to be able to care for her full time.) She was 3 months shy of 98 when she died. Her last two days were spent in a hospital on a morphine drip, and she died peacefully of internal bleeding caused by her years aspirin and ibuprophen use. We need to go back to the practice of generational care for our families -- from cradle to grave.
I applaud you or taking care of your Mom, but so many people in America do not have the means to quit their job and care or a loved one. Many Americans are having trouble taking care of themselves, let alone their elderly parents. Quit your job to take care of a loved one? You were fortunate to be able to do so. Most Americans right now can't even think of the possibility.
Bless your heart so proud of you
I agree wholeheartedly. I took care of my Dad. And due to my career a lot of the work fell to my husband. It wasn’t always without some friction. But I vowed that my father would never go in a nursing home. He lived to 103. I miss him - and my husband, who died 2 years later. Life is never the same.
@@Michilar You are correct. I quit my job to care for family. It was a bad decision. It's now 13 years later---now i am taking care of my husband at home after a horrible rehab experience that included covid *possibly, however, the least of his problems there. He's doing better at home than he was in the hospital and the rehab.
Easier said than done. For the elderly without severe health issues, that would work. But what is they have diabetes, a catheter, bed-ridden and a host of other conditions. The average person can’t do all a trained nurse can. If you can hire a nurse to come regularly, that would work. But sometimes, you have no choice but to bring them somewhere where is trained nursing care. Emeritus was just warehouse - not a care facility. I hope lots of people see this documentary and learn the questions they need to ask before taking them there.
Bless Frontline for doing stories like this, allowing us to demand more out of the care of our most loyal generation!
Every moment with our senior parents, relatives and friends is special. Thank you Frontline.
My daughter is in a nursing home and I worked there for 3 years...I saw enough to shut that place down...it's been turned into State so many times it's unreal and State does "Nothing "..apparently someone is getting their pockets padded because they always know when State is coming...These stories hurt my heart but it's reality of what is happening not only in assisted living but also nursing home facilities.. People make sure you visit your loved ones so you know what is happening...God bless..
I worked for a Emeritus facility. It was the most disorganized experience I encountered in my nursing career. My worst experience was catching a CNA caregiver yelling at a resident. It was the dinner hour and caregiver was frustrated getting residents down to eat. I had zero tolerance for patient abuse. I didn't want her to continue this shift with what I saw. Until she could speak to Administrator and DNS the following day. She was very mad upon leaving. A few hours later her mother appeared with her and began verbally being abusive towards me. Finally ordering both off property or calling police they left. This girl who had just turned 18 and wasn't mature enough for her responsibility. I was taken back that the facility supported this employee. It was the beginning of nursing shortages and there wasn't a line outside to fill these positions. I turned incident over to the state. I was reprimanded and let go. There were so many other instances of poor care I was appaled and soon questioned my remaining in the field of nursing. I hope it's improved.
You are right about the grooming and maturity. Those kind of techs cut major corners and small things like washing people hands or cleaning people appropriately can save the residents life. But the facilities admit some young ladies at 17. I admired them for getting started before graduation but I also celebrated them while highlighting their ethics and the patients rights. So many facilities remain understaffed and families are treated like the enemy.
So sad. We need you! Don't just give up! Plz.
I worked in an Emeritus facility as an employee of a private care agency. We call it “the gates of hell” due to the poor management 😢
a@radience
If this happens again, video it and the conversations with the management, than if nothing is done, put it on social media and let the public see. then maybe the law will step in with elder abuse charges!
a@radience
If this happens again, video it and the conversations with the management, than if nothing is done, put it on social media and let the public see. then maybe the law will step in with elder abuse charges!
As a retired CNA, and a senior myself now, I am appalled at these stories. Assisted Living is for those who still have cognitive aspects, not those in need of full time health care...Nursing homes provide that. I've not heard of Assisted Living facilities providing full time care regarding residents who cannot help themselves. I worked in a nursing home and took my calling very seriously. Yes, I felt it was a calling. I was older than the majority CNAs there. They displayed total lack of respect for the residents. I formed a bond with my residents, I loved them. They loved me...they were extended family. Their quality of life was a priority...how can the so called caregiver in these facilities not respect and provide the utmost necessary care required individually? I am so disillusioned at what I'm hearing here...I can't understand how the seniors in these places are not revered and provided with their needs. I attended college for my CNA license...not a two week course, as some are now taking. My husband died as a result of a poorly supervised facility. He was denied fluids, a means of not having to deal with his voiding. So many details I will spare due to the unthinkable results leading to his demise. I hope many seniors, baby boomers as myself, watch this and take notice. Sorry to go on, but this saddens and angers me. A billion dollar industry...how do we make the situation for our elders better for their quality of life?
I worked as an activity director in an Assisted living facility for quite a few years. At the beginning of my years there, there were dietary aids that helped in the dining room during meals. There were ladies that did the laundry, there were housekeeping staff and resident assistants. Over time the dietary aids were "no longer needed" because the resident assistants could take care of that. The laundry ladies were "No longer needed" because the resident assistants could take care of the laundry. The house keeping staff was let go because the resident assistants could take care of that too! So now the Resident assistants did their job plus laundry, housekeeping and dietary aids. These girls could not keep up. But like most Assisted livings they are looking at the bottom line in the check register! Nope. I would never put a loved one in one of those horrible places.
I’ve always refused or didn’t like assisted living I’d rather nursing home
I currently work at an AL. Us aides are required to do care, clean, laundry, serve lunch and breakfast, dishes, occasionally repairs, etc. It is too much!! We also have residents who are clearly NOT suitable for an assisted living, yet they are their compromising staff and other residents well being. I start school next month and can't wait to get out of there.
@@briannec1164 I bet!
I’ve worked at a Nursing Home and a few Assisted Living facilities. If you can, find a way to keep your loved one at home. Depending on your state they may qualify for a home care aide that could come in a few hours a day possibly to help with showers and meals and so many other types of care. There are so many wonderful people who work at these places with a passion for working with the elderly and people suffering with dementia of some kind but are stretched so thin in so many ways that proper care for the ones that are unable to care for themselves is almost impossible. Due to the low wage and incredible work load many of the employees don’t last very long, many of them come and go, which makes it harder on the residents. Praying for much needed change, especially as the baby boomer population enters these kinds of facilities, something needs to give.
The word that best describes our medical system today is GREED..
Thank you to the employees fighting for the residents. You are the heros.
Never use assisted living. Pay someone to care for the person in their own home. Passing off relatives like used furniture is disgusting.
Home care is much more expensive.
@@barbrn Not if you hire direct and not through a ripoff agency.
@@barbrn If it costs $36,000 just for the roof and the bed then with added costs of medical attention, drugs and added expenses not to mention the intimate knowledge with well trained and well supervised person seems more cost effective. Then factor in the mental well being for everyone involved seems much less stressful, family are involved and engaged in the care. A caregiver is able to properly care for someone, gets assistance from the family and support all together a more loving and friendly environment to live, care for and be cared for and certainly a better place to work. I would say that paying that person $36,000 to $50,000 per year plus benefits is a bargain. I know a CNA who has worked for a couple for the past 10 years. They moved into assisted living when her dementia started getting worse and her main job was to ensure that anything the staff did not do she did or was on the facility management to get it fixed. When the woman died the man kept her on just so he would not have to deal with the facility employees directly he said so he wouldn't die of stress related illness from dealing with them. He's still alive and she still goes to see him 5 days a week and is paid well.
Your right, yet many do this and try to hide their guilt.
@@kenaidog6974 I am with your way of caring for your parents. They did it for us, you know your parents better than anyone. What they would pay at assist living would move them pay for them and you would not charge them what they are charging at a assist living home or place. Doctor, nurse might be paid through Medicaid, Medicare. It can work and your parents will thank you.
My mom was in a rehab nursing home because she was too weak to walk. I thought I was doing the right thing to get her back on her feet. It was a complete nightmare. I got her out in less than two weeks. I cared for her needs so much better. She never would have lasted in that place. The crazy thing is the facility was incredibly beautiful inside and out, but the workers were either over worked, underpaid or flat out didn’t care. I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if she had died in that place. There needs to be much greater regulations and overseers in those places. It’s terrifyingly bad and sad. It seems nobody cares.
And the caregivers need to be paid a FAIR LIVING WAGE! Not the peanuts they now get!
Gosh this hits home for me I lost my mom 3 months ago she as well had dementia. she was starting to wander outside of her home so I had to put her in a memory care facility. she lasted only a month in the facility and then she passed away. my family has requested an autopsy just for our own peace of mind since her death was so unexpected. my mom had visitors everyday for the month she was there because I knew it was hard on her. i miss her everyday not a day has gone by in these last 3 months that I don’t stop to cry and think of her if. you have a loved one in any type of facility please visit them because there lives are so precious.
We had to put little loud alarms on our doors that would alert us to grandpa leaving and that didn’t stop him and so we installed the locks with the keyhole inside and we kept the key: he couldn’t get out then. Taking him to a facility was not an option. Until the very end when he was violent in the 9th year. We took him to a place and we brought him back home 5 weeks later. It was awful. He died about 4 days after we brought him home and he was happy during that time. He came home with bite marks: the others stole his clothes and it was a mess at that short-staffed facility. He dealt with major Alzheimer’s that last 10 years but we saw signs of the disease through some odd behavior much earlier. Sad deal
I cannot visit my mother bcuz my brother conspired with the facility he tricked her into going into over 4 years ago (soon after he cajoled her into giving him POA) and they created a coup against me to keep us isolated from each other and got a judge to sign an injunction against me so that I am not allowed in or in the premises! He also rendered her "incapacitated" by MD's who lied and labeled her with "severe dementia" and "advanced Alzheimer's" when all she had was mild cognitive impairment and was never seen by a neurologist. It's been a heartbreaking and painful situation that doesn't seem to get resolved despite my numerous attempts to reach out to BOTH of my brothers and practically beg them for mercy as well as filing motions with the court who just continually deny my motions. My Mom was very clear about the fact that she did not want to be separated from me but no one's cares. Recently, my brother transfered her into memory care and now I cannot even get her on the phone. I have also reached out to agencies and attorneys ...all to no avail. My Mom never dreamed that something like this would happen to her and she trusted my brother bcuz she felt that he cared about her. He hardly ever calls her or visits her and nor do any of her 4 grandchildren. It appears that she has been left for dead. I was allowed to visit her in mother's day outside the facility in 90° and took some pictures. Upon my return home after viewing them I discovered that 3 of her nails in her left hand were badly cracked and one was badly infected. I called the director and she was defensive and combative trying to convince me that after I left she did a manicure on her and she rationalized the situation by claiming that "there are worse places"! This is an expensive facility that has a salon on the premises where she is supposed to receive regular manicures and pedicures as well as hair cuts and dyes. Her hair looked awful too. Her clothes were old, stained and too tight. I brought this to my brothers attention and he advised me to buy her a new wardrobe and that the trust would reimburse me but when I asked if I could take her to Macy's I was ghosted and ignored, as usual. If you have any suggestions I'd be open to hearing them. Thank you in advance.
@@taralilarose1 I didn’t read all of this comment but I read the first 6 or so lines up to the injunction. It’s sad and scary and stressful for you I’m sure. I’m in a similar situation and it’s gut-wrenching. I empathize. And I’m so sorry your brother has been so manipulative and calculating against you. Pray pray pray even if you don’t believe in God. Ask him to fix this for you, assuming you want to see your mother which I’m sure you do! Keep us posted. It will pass and her better. You truly aren’t alone in your circumstances. There are other families fighting like this.
@@2004cyrus Thank you for your heartfelt sincerely caring comment. I do appreciate it and I do pray daily. I also texted and emailed this post to both of my brothers. They're sick and I pray for them every single day....that God will open their hearts and minds and change them. If I wasn't a believer I wouldn't still be alive but being one has also made me a target. Sorry to hear about your grandpa....is that what you meant by gut wrenching or is there more?
My mom spent 5 good years in assisted living, with moderate dementia and pretty good health until the end (she passed at 93). I was pleased with the place, but they definitely were short-staffed. One thing I noticed was that the majority of residents never had visitors, or did only on a special day like Christmas. I visited about 3 days per week. People seem to be just plunked down in assisted living (or a nursing home) and forgotten about. It's hard to understand! I got to know quite a few residents because I would visit with them when I went to see Mom. She was usually sitting in the sun room with several other ladies.
RIP to our Moms. 💐🌿💐
So happy a documentary like this is out. As a provider we have seen this for a long time. Just hasn’t been out for non medical people. This is good and eye opening for the public. My heart goes to the families who lost their loved one 🙏🏼🥹
Thank you for this documentary. These things happened to my father in two separate assisted living homes. One he fell and broke his hip after only 48 hours. The next he fell and hit his head and went into a 3 day coma. I ended up having to care for him myself 24 hours a day just to make sure he was safe. I was paying several thousands a month. For what? I know he would have died if I hadn't taken this action.
Hello how’re you doing?
Why is it that companies who charge thousands a month still pays minimum wage to their skeleton crew of workers??
I'm asking why we are allowing this..
So management can make make the big bucks!
Corporate and the "Directors" get the fat salaries.
Bc they keep and line their pockets with quite a bit!
the same reason many prices keep going up - people will pay and profits are king!
I am a Registered Nurse with over 40 years of bedside care during my career. Only about 2 of those were in nursing home/assisted care. I will say that in retrospect I wish I had been braver in my expression of distaste at what was going on. I was solely responsible for 40 patients with the help of maybe 3 CNA's. A lot of time there were only 2. I had to give all the meds including the as needed ones, check all the blood sugars and treat them, do all the lab draws, if anything happened to a resident I had to do an incident report which took 2 hours to complete. Start all the treatments, and help with lunch, and supervise the CNA's. One time the CNA's had not gotten around to changing a resident who had urinated on himself and the bed, he had a visitor come in just then and they went straight to the facility Director who then called me to the office and chewed me out for about 40 minutes. That is when I went back and called a meeting with the CNA"S that were there that day and told them I never wanted to have that experience again, and said a few more choice things for about 25 minutes so they would be well aware of what they were responsible for and that if they didn't want to do it that there was a door that opened both ways. Then all the licensed nursing staff were called into the Chief Nursing Officer's office and told that someone had resigned and that we all were going to have to work extra shifts to cover her shifts. What I should have told her was that there were agency nurses to help with things like that, we already worked 48 hours (12 hr. shifts), and so that would mean that just one extra shift would give us 20 hours of over time that they would somehow get out of paying time and a half for. And I could see them not replacing that nurse and just forcing us to take over those extra shifts. I quit that job before I had to work many of those extra shifts. The situation in the nursing homes and assistive living homes will NOT CHANGE until there is legislation stating that one licensed nurse can only take care of X number of residents (with X = 15) and do all the other things they have to do. And by the way there 7 other licensed nurses in the building that could have taken a couple of those extra shifts. Also they need to state that a CNA can only care for 10-15 residents because they have all the manual labor to do. And they need to hire LPN's to do the blood sugars, and treat them and help with meds and dressing changes and charting and all the endless things that come up during the day or night. Companies/people who own nursing homes should not be there simply to get rich, in fact it ought to be illegal for then to show a profit above X dollars/year/facility. I don't know what that dollar amount should be, but it needs to be regulated and it should be mandated also that the staff have the equipment and materials needed to do their job. I am going to end here, but I could go on longer. It is a horrible way to die-- in a warehouse for old people.
I so relate to your comment here. I'm a retired nurse. And yes, agreed and experienced the issues you stated.
I too am a seasoned nurse. My distaste in the lack of standard of care got me a choice to resign or be terminated. I could go on and on about assisted living facilities however your comment covered my thoughts. My mom required care and my dad was considering assisted living. I abruptly told him “ Please don’t dad”. I was fortunate enough to be able to leave my nursing job and care for my mother at her home until she passed this past summer. If my dad ever requires assistance or total care, I’ll do the same for him. These facilities don’t care about your loved ones well being. I treat every patient as if they were my own parent. If you speak up and report your concerns to higher ups, they will literally make up a reason to fire you.
@@keariewashburn4680A big part of the problem is the nurses. They enjoy abusing the workers. It’s like a pecking order in a barnyard. They wasted forty minutes of her time, so she wasted twenty minutes of her subordinates time. One hour down the drain. Two minutes to clean a patient. Evil, disgusting environment. It’s like that in hospitals too. In Canada. Logical people call for changes in this or that detail, 😢but mostly we need repentance and Miracles.
No one is going to pass that legislation. The Government could care less about Seniors. The sheer truth is that the Government and a great many Doctors and especially hospitals are READY for 60+year Olds now to just DIE and get out of the way! They want the Baby Boomers money, and that's ALL they want.
It’s sinful how our elderly are treated
This is completely accurate. My mom just left the field due to the horrible treatment, understaffing, low wages, etc. The stories she told me were horrible.
Now they're more understaffed w/o your mom :(
I worked at a nursing home. There was a resident who was on a purée diet and she was a DNR. She found her food nasty and I don't blame her. So she would have the salad with dinner. One of the CNAs basically convinced me not to give her the salad. He told this resident if she ate regular food and choked she'd die. Working at a nursing home is hard.
@@katesmith8897 so sad 😞 ❤
I was a caregiver in assisted living for 6 years, also did in-home care. It was a joy to care for these people.
You're one of the few because a lot of abuse happens in these places
We love our caretakers at the home and they are like you. Thank you.
Yes, if your job isn't made impossible by your bosses..
@@endtimes9763 how could you ever know that good staff are in minority?
It's more about the culture off the workplace. Most staff are proper people..
@@ingridakerblom7577 I know this because of the ABUSE MY MOTHER SUFFERED AT THE HANDS OF STAFF IN A NURSING HOME THAT KILLED HER AND MY UNCLE'S NEGLECT AT A NURSING HOME the THOUSANDS OF HORROR STORIES of abuse, neglect bed sores, sitting in soiled diapers for untold hours that have been reported so don't tell me that good staff are in the majority!!!
These are not mistakes.. This is neglect..
Couple years ago at age 48 I landed in a nursing home for 2 months for I.v antibiotics. Horrible, horrific nasty terrible things happen to these elderly folks. I landed in tears almost daily feeling so bad for these folks. I told off every single employee for one mistreatment or another. Just really sad.
Yes, even being a part owner of on at one time in the past I agree. It boils down to staff and management and if one is lacking it is a bad situation for the residents. We had a fifty bed facility. The state only required one person on duty at night time for a fifty bed facility and that is what they had. Frankly my impression was that the people from the state who are tasked with looking over the facilities don't really care at all about the elderly residents. It is extremely difficult to get good caregivers enough to where you have a predominance of caring and good caregivers. Management is driven by the need "to make" payroll much less make a profit. This facility never made a profit. If there is any way a person can remain in their home or apartment that is the best choice. Once in this nation we had multigenerational households which seemingly would have been good for the elderly but that day is far gone.
Why didn’t u report this abuse to someone? Maybe you did.
I can relate to the same. My care was all messed up to during my rehab stay. I had a picc line. Not one nurse was on the same page on how to properly care for it. I could go on & on & on & on. I loved those patients. And the good, quality staff were usually understaffed. When STATE comes in to check that all is being done on the up & up a false presentation is shown, but I've also witnessed myself where those State employees turned a bind eye or if something was reported confidentially as was supposed to be offered, the person working for the State was neglectful in addressing the concern & the employee who'd reported their concerns lost their job. So nothing was fixed otherwise behalf of the patients/residents. Makes me ill.
Try working with them. You are trying to do your job properly and they don’t want to. They refuse to work with you. Told off for wasting money. Didn’t stop me some nurses were good but very few. Whether in a hospital setting or aged care.
You get branded a trouble maker.
Would often say “ WOULD YOU LIKE SOMEONE TO TREAT YOU OR SOMEONE YOU LOVED THE SAME AS YOUR TREATING THEM?
Treat others how you would like to be treated.
I work in a nursing facility in what you say is true
Love Frontline - Keep Doing What You Are Doing!
The best investigative reports show.
This documentary really is an eye opener about this industry. More people need to watch
I was completely unaware how many people aren’t already aware of this.
Absolutely
It is a horrible over regulated industry. There are so many stupid forms to fill out that care isn't provided. Careplans are the biggest waste of staff's time. no one follows them. They are useless and really a stupid idea. The government mandates so much in documentation that nurses have to spend most time with these idiot forms and can't provide care. The CNAs are paid so poorly that they usually only the worst of the worst take the jobs anymore. But the admin gets their bonuses and cashes those huge pay checks and gets trips and even some get cars. As I understand it, there is one in Illinois where admin was provided a house so they had no expenses and were getting rich off the taxpayers.
I have heard lots of horror stories.
Powerful. We need more exposees like this. This is not just happening in one big company that provides assisted living. It is industry wide
I SPOKE UP and Fired 2 home healthcare agencies that were coming to take care of my father after I moved in with him after taking my husband off life support with stage four liver failure and I could see that they were not giving my father the care that he needed you really have to speak up and be your father‘s voice or your parents voice because there’s just times when they can’t and I want to know that I did everything that I could to keep my father in his home until he dies so he doesn’t have to go to an assisted living or skilled nursing facility and it’s very hard but that’s what you do when you love someone... you just have to put up with some verbal and emotional abuse from you’re aging parent and inconvenience in YOUR LIFE but in the end you know that you took care of them the best you could❤️
Good for you
I did the same and he was very happy at home He had Alzheimers and I was glad to know he was truly cared for. My Mother passed away after hip surgery and what I considered a incompetent doctor and rehab facility after 😔
The Agencies I contacted for help were actually amazed I wanted to interview the workers they had in mind, I was amazed they just randomly send people out so not nessecessarily the employees fault if not qualified sad it's that way
Home healthcare is not assisted living!
Glad you were able to care for your elder loved one, most people put them in a nursing home, basic care or assisted living
Home healthcare provides supplemental assistance including QSP & CNA care based on an RN assessment under a medical provider orders. They are not in the home 24/7
💕
**Update**
My mom put my dad in a place like that. It took the heart right out of him.
A colleague is working on finding a place for his parents. This made me think of my Dad's time where Mom put him.
There was a time when family took care of their older members. There was a time that family didn't put their parents into a place like that no matter how wonderfully they take care of their customers.
When we brought Dad to his assisted living community I noticed a large freight elevator by the front door. The elevator didn't look industrial. It had large doors and opened on both sides. Then I realized it was for the coroner or funeral home to wheel our your dead family member. I hope they don't do this in front of the others who live there.
Dad said he liked it there but I fear that he felt as if he were abandoned. Here we are years later and I feel sick of the thought that Dad felt abandoned.
There was a time when family took care of each other until the very end. There wasn't assisted communities or old folks home. There was THE family and they took turns caring for aunt, uncle, Mom, Dad, brother, sister, etc. The family was important not the job, or the buddies, or sports, or partying or social media. All of these things have REPLACED the family and we refuse to admit it.
While we think we made the 'right' decision...did we really? I'd rather have my family there at the end holding my hands and comforting me as I draw my last breath. Not some paid employee with no connection to me or my family. How did we get here? Why did we get here? Why did we allow it to get here?
All very tough and personal questions.
Yes
Capitalism
To put your mind at ease staff do care about residents on their death beds. We're not required to but if no family is coming in we take turns sitting with.
Truman said it rightly, the buck stops here (with us)
I have multiple sclerosis and idiopathic osteoporosis. I am 65 and have been living in assisted living for 18 months in Utah. I agree with all of these issues coining on at Emeritus.
Unfortunately, like much of our society, emphasis is on the "bottom line" rather than the work that must be done to get to that "bottom line"! Work, no matter how menial, has lost its worth. A bad foundation will make the most well-designed building unstable.
This is similar to what happened to my husband. I pray every year he remains safe daily.
The elderly are being neglected. There is a need for strict regulation.
As a single working 64 yr old senior with no meaningful savings, this scares the crap out of mean!!
I completely relate to your situation.
This makes me grateful that my grandmother was in a great assisted living home. They had 3 areas to it. Assisted ,rehabilitation ( to recover after an illness or injury) then a skilled nursing if they got to a point they couldn’t care adequately for themselves. She had a great group of lady friends that she lived beside in assisted living apt. Until she was sick and passed away in the rehab Area. My aunts and uncles visited often and made sure things were up to par. You have to advocate for your loved ones. These facilities do need regulations. I cannot believe they aren’t. Even the doggie daycares in my state are regulated.
If you have no advocate would not it be risky to join one?
I am glad for your Grandmother. My deceased ex wife's parents are in a very nice continuing care facility (that is what you described). You have to have serious money for that. If you are wealthy you can get good care and it is a nice thing that some can still. I just wish most could.
It is so tragic that these people were treated this way. It makes me think my brother being at a rehab facility right now is much better than assisted living. Lifting prayers for all these people who lost their loved ones in such a terrible way. Thank you for sharing this documentary. God Bless You & stay safe.
My mom is on her deathbed at this moment. She would hold her arm out into space like she was trying to grasp someone with her hand. I felt a loved one, maybe my dad, was wanting to take her with him. She was taken off life support. We all said our goodbyes as she is peacefully slipping away slowly at this very moment. My sister who sees spirits said deceased loved ones like my father, her mother and 5 others are around her. We love God our Father and accept His will for my mother’s time has come. She is 92 yrs old. God bless her soul.
God bless you all. 💕💕💕
Frontline just re-airing docs like, “guys, we still haven’t dealt with the crisis in the film from a decade ago.”
I worked in a assisted living while I was in nsg. School. I took a 10 question math test and after passing was able to pass meds to half of the facility in a shift . It was crazy, I was terrified of making a med error.
A math test? What. When I was going to school to be a medical assistant you should have seen what we had to do when learning pharmacology yikes! And you only had 10? Oh Dangerous. There are medicines that are spelled the same but do different things. I would have been terrified
@@mariegreen6912 yes!! So dangerous! I was so afraid of making a med error
Good grief. If there was a problem you would have been thrown under the bus. In all states you needed to be a nurse or med tech. to pass out meds.
@@susanfowler4228not in Oklahoma you don’t have to be.
This is one of my biggest fears. I am turning 65 on Oct 30th, 2023, and my husband and daughter are both aware of my wishes. If I can no longer be cared for in my own home, then I will use MAID (medical assistance in dying) that is available here in Canada. I think it's wonderful that we can choose when to go, surrounded by loved ones and friends, peacefully. This would be the most horrifying thing to be subject to, after being an independent, working mother and wife all of my life. The indignity of being dependent on some minimum wage worker who really didn't want to be there, would be more than I could bear.
We just lost our mom who was in one of these homes. Why in the world can’t we have more resources for our parents. 😞
They don't care unless it benefits them. 🤔
Why in the world don't you take care of your parents? This is the reality in all these places. Period. It isn't going to ever change for the better and may likely get worse.
Lord, change the world but begin w me. Eh?
This goes on 24/365 . I worked as a nurse in this type of facility and now my husband is now a resident . It costs $,000 a month . I had to demanded he be taken to the E.R. when he fell and hit his head on a cement floor with obvious injuries . He was left for periods of time with soiled clothes and bedding . He went over a week with no bathing . He as given 1 pair of socks . They hired people off the street with no training , some didn't know how to make a bed let alone how to care for patients . They did this strictly so they don't have to pay for trained personal who should be taking care of them . When I made inquiries to have him moved . They took steps to have me removed as his guardian . These people are all about money and making it "LOOK" like they're getting at least the minimum level of care ! ! . . 🤷. . . THEY ARE NOT ! ! . . 😱
The cost of his care ? ? . . $9,000 a month ! !. . 😔
I had a personal experience at a rehab/nursing facility recently. It was awful. My kids put me there so they wouldn't have to do anything for me. This was such a sad and awful experience. I am in Austin, Texas. They place like any other business was short staffed which I've learned is short for we'll be giving you a shitty job.
@@annmclpc Ann , You said it ! . . 🤔 . I keep in touch with my husband daily to make sure he's getting the care they're being paid for . ($9,000 a month. . 💸💸) Yesterday he was upset because they told him they didn't remember to get a doctor's order for one of his medications , so he wouldn't have meds all weekend ! . 😱 . This crap doesn't fly with me ! I worked as a charge nurse in my share of nursing homes (during my 30+ years of being a nurse) I know who's bell to ring when things don't get done ! if you know what I mean !. . 😝 . I'm familiar with doing what my husband loving calls my " pleasant bitch routine". Friendly and calm as hell , but I won't be bullshitted ! I would "NEVER" recommend a person be a patient in one of these facilities without some one checking on them on a regular basis ! I'm sorry you had such an experience , but be assured your just one of "THOUSANDS" who's enduring the same fate ! . . My husband's facility has 86 patients , so add it up ! We live in a small town and there's 3 nursing homes here . 🤔
P.S. . My husband got his meds this weekend , I made sure of that ! ! . . 🤨
SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT🙄 YOU KNEW ALL OF THIS AND YOU LEFT HIM THERE???? YOU ARE NO BETTER🤨🤬
@@annmclpc I'M SO SORRY YOU HAD TO EXPERIENCE THAT😥 REMEMBER EVERYBODY HAS TO GET OLD OR MAY NEED ADDITIONAL HELP, I PRAY YOUR KIDS DON'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH THAT
I watched my great grandfather die basically alone, unhappy & uncared for at an assisted living facility after his wife of 82 years died. He was such a strong man & it was heartbreaking to watch him wither away in such a place. I was a kid and didnt quite understand but now as an adult I can see how badly they mistreated him & others in this assisted living facility. I remember seeing people walking in circles, standing in puddles of urine or some liquid, people in wheelchairs against the wall with nobody helping them. I wish I was old enough at the time. I would have done anything to get him out of that place or report it to someone. I can only imagine how bad it was when patients families were not there. I mean this was on family visit days when I saw all that madness happening to people.
The no 1 problem globally in senior homes are not having enough staff..
Esp now (and it will get worse) when the old age groups are mutch bigger than younger age groups. There aren't enough people to care for the elderly.
Thats why this kind off work needs to be made attractive, you need to be able to preform your work - not like now where it's impossible, bcs there isn't the time to do it anywhere near properly..
The facility management burns out their staff, they only think about money..
You cant work when you are burned out.
It's not worth it, it's not worth killing yourself, only to be guilt tripped or shamed for it.. After being bullied for year & years & years.
Before the working conditions & societys view on theese kinds off jobs change & get better. The situation will stay the same..
It wount help to be angry at the staff/nurses bcs they are in an impossible situation. They have 0 say in anything..
You simply can't divide yourself into 4 & be in many places at once. If you are busy with a client, you don't know what happens anywhere else with anyone else..
Thats reality.. thats why there HAS to be enough staff..
My son junior high school had kids volunteer as grandkids for old folk who needed visitation. My son loved his adoptive grandpa so much , he was a nice old man so great full to have my son visit. This was a great program & most of the kids continued to visit even after they were in high school and able to drive. My son took the loss of his real and adoptive grand fathers very hard but he is a better person for taking part in this program.
@@blazefairchild465 great idea!
@@blazefairchild465 bern saying this for years…where are the youth groups in churches???? Having pizza parties. They would be so blessed to make this program part of their Christian training.
Some BIG BROTHERS resolving the problem now. Covid kills residents who had... four vaccine or less.
Big numbers.
My in laws decided to move into an assisted living once MIL was disgnosed with cancer. They are both in their late 80s and we all felt the assisted living facility would be the best for their care. Had I seen this video about 4 months ago, I would have asked a lot more questions of the facility.
My MIL is on hospice and probably has maybe a day or two left. However, I had to go search for a nurse (for the third time this week) to get them to administer her morphine. Prescibed by hospice to keep her Comfortable not in pain. I don't mind asking the nurses, but then I get attitude from them.
They are billing thousands more dollars for services that is not being done. And it is nowhere near the amount we were told in the beginning. Now they are just gaslighting me when I ask questions about the billing. This was not even close to what I thought was a great facilty with the services needed. Not even close, very sad for all the money paid to these facilities.
I'm sorry that happened to you, I see alot a things and work in an ER
I'm so sorry you experienced what you did
the nurses give attitude and are combative....i'm in shock at what i witnessed concerning my husband's care. It is appalling.
@@JendromedaThe nurses may give attitude because they have had a bad day, lost a patient, or had their own problems. ( late wife was a nurse)
@@stephenbrecht1696 So, is it FAIR to take it out on the patients or their families?
Aside from the issues in this episode…. There’s a shortage of staff in these facilities all over the country (not just Emertius). There’s not enough people that want to WORK and take care of these folks and care about them. It’s horribly sad. You can see these young (or older) people at their nurses station get an attitude when they get a call from a resident that needs to get up to go potty. They just don’t want to do it. I’ve lived in those places for rehabilitation, and I’ve worked in one as a housekeeper. And it’s disgusting how they treat these poor people. If you aren’t in this because you care, DON’T DO THIS JOB! PLEASE!!!!
My husband has Alzheimer’s and he was very young when diagnosed. 52 years old. It’s been 10 years and he will be with me until the day he dies. He will never go to a care facility. He is the sweetest man ever. I will take care of him even if it kills me. That’s just the way it is. I love him and this is a horrible disease.
Thank you precious! Never say never though. I hope you read my reply to Melody. I took care both of my folks for the total of 28 years. No regrets for me but like I said, I would wish it on anyone.
Correction: would NOT wish it on anyone!
I took care of my mother in her final days weeks months. She died at home under my care with hospice support and I always go back through my thoughts trying to understand what happened and blaming myself and what could I have done differently. And if I would have done things differently would the outcome have change. I finally came to terms with accepting that she was old and would have died within the same time frame regardless. I would not put her in a home and she died at home and I was the only one there but she died at home and I was there.
You did the right thing without a shadow of a doubt sweet soul. Trust me on that. Think of if that was you? Where would you want to die? At home with those who you love. I have been a care aid for those with severe cognitive impairment for many years and putting her into a home would have been devastating on her. Please know you did the right thing and she ,wherever we go after this life is smiling and happy you did that for her. Many blessings to you for doing the right thing. ❤ You were such a blessing to her!
I can tell you for a fact that she was far better off w you than being in a facility. Also consider the fact that is ludicrous to think that one caregiver should be able to do it all. Really seriously, I don't have to know you to know that your was still much better than your loved one being in a facility that contends w high employee turnover and staff shortages. I glad you were able to come to terms w how you handled things. May God bless you.
You are a wonderful human being,God saw that! And .God will bless you .
What you did for your mother was and is a beautiful thing. I’ve got to make that decision right now. Your post has helped me make the right decision. Thank You 🌸
@@cathypurnell9331 its hard, not easy but when she got real bad, I did have the money to hire extra care giver's in 4 or 8 hour slots 3 times a week. I have been retired for 13 years so I did not have to go work. It's better to try. From the time she needed me to the time of her passing was about 2 years. Then another 6 months taking care of her estate.
There is an answer to this problem.
Any senior who has enough money to live in one of these places, should, instead, be kept at the home of their own children with either live in caretaking or have revolving caretakers come in to the home provide care.
That doesn't mean the caretaker should become Cinderella and do ALL the housecleaning, making dinner for everyone and doing everyone's laundry. All the caregiver should be focused on is the loved one's bath, laundry, meals, keeping the room tidy and taking them to doctor visits, making sure the house is safe for the dementia patient.
I understand that this may not be possible for everyone to do for their parent, but always keep in mind, no one cares or loves your parent like you do - as you've witnessed viewing this true life film.
This is just beyond sad.
The sad thing is, this CEO will never experience this because he’s rich. My mother is in a Medicare/Medicaid facility now and the care is not much better. It’s maddening. My dad was in a memory care facility and thankfully went pretty fast because those three months used up all their money. Thank you for bringing this to light.
Wow! My father with dementia was in a nursing home till he passed. We are so grateful that he had great care.
My mother and I were homeless for 5 years. At 14 and my mother 43 received a small inheritance when her fly grandfather passed. She bought an old very run down turn of the century home. In order to pay the mortgage repayments she looked after two lovely elderly ladies. She saved every penny and little by little we repaired the home, she worked 24/7, I went to school and had to work everyday after school and worked every weekend. Slowly the amount of elderly people we cared for grew, we welcomed these precious elderly into our HOME As the amount grew she applied for a licence and after years of hard hard work she had expanded to 29 beds. It was never about the money, for us it was about surviving and doing what we had to do to get into a better situation in life. It went from an idea to help to pay the bills - making large amounts of money was never the intention, but she did make money, enough for us to finally shift out if living there into our own home. But that place was our precious to us we put our heart and soul into it. The home was successful because we genuinely loved and cared for each resident they were part of our family. It should never be about making money but unfortunately there is a huge demand for accomodation for our ageing population and people go into it just to make money. These places are not always run very well. It was hard work but such an incredible experience and we helped so many live out their final months or years in a caring loving environment, filled with fun and laugher. Sure it is impossible to ensure that nothing ever go wrong as we are dealing with elderly, frail minded, medically unwell human beings, so some patients do have a fall or a resident is found after they had been incontinent and yes they will smel like urine or they may become agitated or unwell, these things you can not always control. But there is no excuse for neglect or abuse of vulnerable people. I’m
Proud of the huge effort and sacrifices we made in those years, I continued to work there till I was 31 years old, as well as doing my nursing degree in that time. It makes me sick that these places can get away with these sorts of stories. There needs to be more frequent and more thorougher auditing. There is no excuse for neglect but this type of work is very demanding and hard work. Yes every home should have adequate staff patient ratio numbers! But There are not a lot of people willing to do this type of work and the pay rate is low. It can be hard to get trained staff. Very very sad. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of the elderly mentioned in this video and their family members who must feel so much guilt, anger and grief after seeing their loved ones go through this sort of thing. Hugs
Thank you so much for sharing your story. If you ever wrote about your life in a book or ebook, I would love to read it!
The guilt some of the families feel is understandable. In several of the stories the elderly person tried to escape the facility but the family didn’t listen. I appreciate the honesty of the son at the end who told of his dream about his apology to his mom. His Dad tried to tell him. Family should listen. Just because we are old doesn’t mean we should be dismissed.
And sadly, women are listened to much less than men. Discrimination is alive and well, even in family relations.
Everything in the U.S. has a profit motive, especially Assisted Care Living. I am a U.S. expat and military retiree. I currently live in Costa Rica. I personally know the owners of 2 Costa Rican Assisted Care Living Facilities. There are none of the issues there, that I have seen in this segment! The Latin culture values and cherishes their eldely! Anyone violating the law Abuse Of The Elderly, is fully prosecuted under the law.
In the US, our national motto is "impura vida"
That’s very interesting. I noticed almost immediately when I began my career that there were very few people of color or Hispanic people in the ALF I worked at. I didn’t want to assume it was an economical issue, because it just didn’t feel correct. The truth is, that most Hispanic and black families are extremely close and have large families. They don’t stick gramma in assisted living, nursing homes yeah, but not ALFs. The reason being is because they take care of their own. They take turns caring for grandma, driving her to the salon and church, doctors appointments, getting her bathed and dressed. They aren’t going to pay someone to love their family member when they can love them for nothing! Skilled nursing is different, some health problems just require a professional. But imaging hiring a teenager from Taco Bell to take care of your aging parents every need! That’s what ALFs are these days
That's changing in the urban areas because everyboday has to work. Break their hearts, but it's becoming a necessary evil.
@@shayscott7498 that’s true, I’m seeing more ethnic elderly people now than before, but most of them either have no children, or their children are well paid professionals. I had a friend that I talked to about this, and she said you can go and get some kind of certification as a home health care technician, and you can bill grandmas insurance for the care that you give her to a certain amount. So some of these kids opt to quit their jobs and take care of their grandparents full time, some do online courses while they are working, it’s kind of brilliant
Bless them!!!
One of the scarier things in this is the gleam in the CEO's eyes as he talks about how much higher the rates of people entering assisted living will be as the baby boomers are getting ready to come into their clutches.
Our mom was finally brought back home as soon as she was well enough because of problems with the care facility she was in and another problem is that other patients or residents will come into rooms and steal your loved ones possessions ! Our mom also got MRSA while in the facility. She’s been home for quite a few years now, doing a lot better under the care of our family and the wonderful visiting nurses who help a few times a week. Now she’s 90 and still cognitive though slower. And so much happier to be home!
Good for you they do so much better in their home or with people they know and they live longer
Lots of people don't know this; there r lots of government programs that can help elderly citizens stay @ home...depending, on their medical conditions.....
Emeritus is only interested in making $$$$$$.....all the complaints!!!! They shd all b shut down!!!!!!! 😒
Good point. I found the assisted living knew patients were being stolen from by staff but they would conveniently find that the "visitors" did it and would cast aspersions on visitors without ANY proof. The level of care is not the same as what is advertised 100%.
Depressing and discouraging. Why aren't we paying better wages for those who care for the ones we love the most? These big corporations really suck.