I figured out something called "batching" years ago and now realize it works so well for me because I'm autistic. If I can devote an entire day to one task, it gets DONE. But if I have to do several things throughout the day, my productivity is kinda crap. The closer my day can look like pure batching of one big task per day, the better. It'd be such a dream to not have to work everyday, but that's not currently possible.
Omg YES. If I can devote an entire day to cleaning the house, I can do it. But if I have literally ANYTHING else scheduled that day, I get overwhelmed and I’m lucky to get a single room done. It’s very much an “all or nothing” thing 😩
if I know I have *one* task later in the day, even if it's a task that won't take very long, it blocks be from doing the more productive tasks in the hours I am ostensibly "free" to do them.
I’ve been a self employed hairdresser for 10 years and salon owner for 5. I’ve had plenty of time to try out different schedules, and a few years ago I tried what I call a color coded week, where I have red, green or pink days. Typically red days I am dressed up, on point and taking clients and being present in the shop. Pink days are completely to myself- I typically do no work outside the home or see other people on pink days. Then I have the “green” day once a week where I don’t have to be on point, but maybe I have to see people, like if I have vet or dentist appointments or need to get groceries. This system works incredibly well for me! Thanks so much for sharing this information. It would have helped so much in my early twenties to know this about myself.
This is life changing. This explains why I’ve had a hard time keeping jobs and why I always feel so inconsistent. Now I can stop beating myself up about it and just accept this is who I am.
I like the tip about stimming to get the energy out. Stimming has changed my life. I used to have this horrible tension in my back but that's improved A LOT since I've started stimming more. I had tuned out my body for so many years, it was surprising when I tuned back in to discover all these stims: rocking, flapping, swaying, fidgeting, singing at the top of my voice. Sometimes, I get this need to click a pen open and shut repeatedly for a minute or two, right next to my ear. It is the best. I think that's a great tip for that feverish state of not being able to stop being productive. I'm also going to try the tip when you take some alone time in the dark.
I think there was a bit of time during the community group when you were rocking and it made me so happy! I am working on integrating more movement in my life.
I need to get better at stimming, I am so aware of the potential to be annoying, and I think I suppress it. Pen clicking (which I do sometimes) made me think of the movie Music and Lyrics...I suddenly wonder if Drew Barrymore’s character was on the spectrum? Lots of hints now that I think of it.
I’m glad my supernova comment resonated enough that you thought it was worth sharing. I feel seen. 😊 And I enjoyed your “we’re everywhere” voice. It fits society’s narrative that different is scary.
It's so strange having repressed the various stresses that build up on me so much that when I watch videos like this and hear a statement I particularly relate to, in my mind it doesn't seem like a big deal thing but at the same time I start tearing up. Thank you for helping me and others get in touch with how these little stressors can take a toll and for reassuring us that there _are_ ways to feel more at ease 🧡
I’m sitting here bawling right now. I’m in the very beginning stages of my “awakening” if you will? This is my third video from her channel. I was being so hard on myself for the tears but your comment made it OK. So thank you!
I've been like this my whole life. But the older I get, the longer it takes to recover from the hyper focus. It can takes days to recover now (I'm 53), depending on how long the hyperfocus was. I'm always envious of "regular" people who can work every day and not have a "crash" afterward.
i so relate to having to move to get energy out. now that i've started being more mindful of what my body is telling me and my mental state, i realized that i've been mistaking energetic for anxiety. so now when i notice that i'm tensing up i'm like "oh, i need to move." i really like dancing for this! like just getting weird to music is a great way for me to get physical energy out. or i'll stay where i am and headbang 🌟
I had a very bad car accident that left me with a severe brain injury in 2015. I’ve been coming back from it slowly but all of what you’re talking about it what I’m dealing with. I’m not sure if I’ve always had it, but I can certainly relate to your description of autism. I’ve always been super sensitive to stimulation, walked on my tippy toes as a child, much preferred my own company and so much more.
I have a little Google Tasks reminder to check in with my brain, body, and emotions that pops up every afternoon. It's a small thing but has been super helpful. Ten seconds of mindfulness is so much better than none!
I'm actually going to show these 2 videos to my daughter. She doesn't want to do anything. She's essentially living like an animal based off instinct. I told her, we as humans NEED to live out lives the best we can with intentions and love for ourselves. Yes, we are autistic and I would love to NOT DO ANYTHING. But, the real world that we live in will never allow us to do that. So, we have to practice and talk to ourselves often. That : it's ok to shower, it's ok to brush our teeth, it's ok to make food and it's ok to take care of other people. It's hard. Really hard.
I love the part about giving yourself grace while working on the ways intense hyperfocus may cause us to neglect other areas of our lives (especially people). I don't have kids, but I do have a medically and behaviorally complex furbaby that requires a lot of time and attention. When I am "In The Zone," I not only neglect my own needs (food, bathroom breaks, the phone, medication alarms), but I also neglect her needs as well. "I'll feed you, I just need 15 more minutes," turns into "Oh my God, I was supposed to give her her seizure meds 3 hours ago!" And I'll have vague memories of hearing her meowing and crying trying to get my attention and then eventually...silence. She gives up. And it breaks my heart. That is the dark side of the Supernova of Productivity. The time blindness is just insane. The guilt and shame that sometimes arises on the other side can be overwhelming. So I've had to practice the whole grace thing while also working on being present enough to take care of the important stuff. Also, just to add to your tip to get up and move around, the Headspace app had a walking meditation last week that I really liked. You know how they say if you're mad, go for a walk? Well, if you're in the house or your back yard (somewhere without dangerous objects lying around), take off your shoes and socks! It's really grounding to be able to feel the earth. I'm a chronic slipper wearer because I hate stepping in water with socks on. So, just being able to feel the carpet while I did my meditation walk made the entire experience completely different! I plan to make this a weekly exercise and not just when I need to blow off steam.
Wow the fur babies part really hit me. Agree. These days what energy I have ends up being used to do my job and I have little energy left afterwards for other things. And I lose focus on the kitties while I am managing to work. I feel both resentful of the job and shame about everything else. I wish I could retire while the cats are still youngish, but I probably have to stick it out for another 5 years or so at least. This must be what moms with young children feel like (never had kids).
Wow, so many thoughts and emotions on this one. I have always had what I now gather is called dysautonomia, overactive adrenal function that stimulates excessive fight or flight. Then there is the tendency for hyperfocus to be adrenal fueled, and the job I have had for about 12 years, which is high stress. It became my obsessive focus the first five years, and also involved these ridiculously intense 3-day trips that centered around tight flight schedules, short deadlines, public meetings and presentations (COVID ended that). I type all that out, and it is SO obvious why, given what I now understand about myself, I could feel the job changing me somehow, and later realized that my fight of flight and meltdowns has worsened so much. These days I really cannot afford to go into adrenal-fueled hyper productivity, or I have panic attacks...so my approach for the moment is to just stay calm, and do my best to get some work done. ADHD traits make it hard to stay focused if I’m not on a tear, but the black hole or supernova or hyperfocus pushes me toward meltdowns or at least eruptions, especially now that work is no longer my obsessive special interest..now it’s my mental health, LOL!...so adrenaline mostly comes from the realization that I better get this job done now or I am screwed. There’s a lot here that applies. The most useful thing for me to think about is self-awareness as a starting point to figure out what to do to re-regulate. Every other explanation I’ve seen of body awareness makes it sound to me like it’s supposed to be an end in itself, as if noticing your body is like waking up on a beautiful beach. But while I can certainly get lost in my mind, if I exit and notice my body, what I often find is that it is in a very bad place, fueled by a screaming CNS and amygdala. It’s not an centering moment in any way, it’s more like walking out of a high pressure meeting onto the streets of a war zone. It’s too late to deep breath my way out of it, I’ve tried. But responding with some of the strategies described here, concrete steps like buffering, that makes sense and I think can work. (Time for my glucocorticoids to settle back is one of the biggest things.) Thank you!
I have learned to parcel out my days and it really does help, both mentally and physically. I have a chore schedule and my husband is most supportive of making sure I am not interrupted from it. He knows my stress level goes way up if I miss a day or something unexpected comes along. I try very hard not to pack my days in and hold my downtime dear. Like you, if there are kid things, appointments, church things, or extended family obligations coming up, I look to carving out quiet time before and after. Even fun stuff gets rested up for and rest after. Being a (sort of) freelancer, I have a lot more ability to do these things for myself, thankfully. The learning not to apologize for it is the tougher part.
I didn’t know how helpful this video would be when I clicked on it, but this feels like a very practical next step in my understanding of self-diagnosis. Thank you for taking the time to share!!
Body check ins are so important! I was very lucky to go to biofeedback therapy (not for my autism) and it taught me so much about how to tune into my physical body and it is probably the thing that helps me the most when I'm trying to function. I wish it was something more people could have access too, I bet it would help other autistic people
Some jobs I can work at home, some I have to go into an office. I always, no matter how busy, take a 20-45 min. walk at lunchtime. No one has complained about it. And, I miss all the 'lunch talk'. LOL Some people look a little jealous at the discipline and ask if they can come too but I say "It's my time and I'd prefer to go alone." Anyway this is a good chance to check-in and 'cleanse the palette' so to speak. Been doing it for 6 years.
Oh wish I had had the opportunity to take long lunch breaks by myself at my last job, but it was always expected of everyone to be "social" at lunch which is incredibly draining to me.
@@JoULove Can you be 'social' 2 days a week and go for walks 3 days a week. People might get used to it. In some things you have to put yourself first.
Thank you so much for creating this forum! First one I feel I can relate to as a late diagnosed woman. Your description of the "zones" is so spot on, and you really put words to what I have had difficulty putting words to! My best tips when it comes to work situations is to be open and tell colleagues/team leaders how you function/ what makes you bloom vs what makes work life more difficult as well as ask them to describe what they need from me. Open communication - and from that mutual respect - has made my work life so much easier (and I don't feel ashamed for being weird anymore 🤪). Greetings from late diagnosed woman from Sweden 🤗
Thank you for part one and part two on Uneven Productivity...great to have an name for "that" Tazmanian! I had to pause this....went to the tropical green house down the road to walk around....came back and finished part 2. Nice.
I really LOVE the idea of telling the people in your life about your patterns and that if they need your attention, they need to ask for it. To me, this is just common courtesy to ask someone if it is a good time to talk but I have certain friends who will just call me repeatedly mid-workday and I find it very intrusive because I don't want to decline their call and make them think I just don't care about them. Just stating this need is so basic, like setting any other boundary, and yet so evolutionary at the same time. I appreciated also when you said this the people who, either know me well enough or have what would seem to be the common courtesy, to ask whether it is a good time to bombard me with information before doing so. Even if I were to pick up the phone in those moments, I surely wouldn't be able to contribute anything meaningful anyway! Thank you for sharing this! 🩷
This also helps so much for people with Long Covid, especially the one day rest sandwiching the high energy/focus days. The combo of asd and Long Covid is harsh. I used to take long, quick walks every day before and after intense writing sessions. Now I crash even if I meander along like a turtle. 😅 I will try to see if other body stims might work. Had never thought about Long Covid with regard to autism.
Communicating w loved ones is SO important. When I get into the "supernova", hours can pass like minutes because I'm SO engaged. Recently in this time, I learned my partner was feeling neglected, like I wasn't making room for quality time together. I obviously felt guilty, but even more so because when I am hyperfocused, I *know* I'm in a place of imbalance, but it's nearly impossible to control. Letting them know I'm not avoiding them, I just have a very hard time transitioning from being "in the zone" to literally anything else. One idea I thought of recently is scheduling in time together, so at the beginning of the day I already know how my routine will go, and then leaving the option open for me to go back to what I was doing later. I suggested this could be a time they spend on one of their interests as well, doing something that brings joy to them outside of our relationship. We both also have ADHD, so it's easy to fall into times where we lose the momentum to nurture our hobbies, which can take more executive function ability. I think being very deliberate about intentions and stating goals, or how we'd like things to go, and having another person to help encourage keeping things balanced can help a ton.
Some years ago at university, a friend at campus and I were both computer science majors. We had a nerdy running joke that when I had a question I would say "Query" and he would respond "Registered." At the time I didn't really think of the practical applications of it (and didn't know I had ASD back then - and I don't think he had ASD), but in retrospect it was a very clear way to have both people on the same page that a serious question was being asked and a serious answer was wanted.
Thank you, Tay! Just found your channel. SO helpful! In regard to your ‘move the camera back’ suggestion… I’ve long offered the suggestion to my (now 30yr old, accomplished daug., who believes she’s ADHD & on the spectrum), “Pull the pebble away”. When she sees a problem as an insurmountable ‘boulder’. She’s, fortunately!, very capable of employing tools with which to cope that she learns along the way…so this suggestion has helped her a lot and is just another way to word your statement. You’re doing great things here! I’m quite sure, I too (@ 60!) am also on the spectrum (been convinced a long time MOST people are). Keep it up! Know you are appreciated👍🏻
I was in a community in my 20s where "stimming" was normal to get the energy out. It was spiritual people and the leader of that group encouraged us to do so... very interesstig how stimming was acepted this way, in this context, shakeing the hands like you showed. Maybe one day i send him a Video about that topic.
I rely on Google Calendar, Google Keep for notes, and my smart watch with notifications because I have no concept of time especially when life gets busy. I just need to get better at scheduling myself some self care in there!
@@MomontheSpectrum I use Google Keep for notes and lists (shopping lists, etc.) The best thing is that you have access to all your notes on your phone as well as on your computer.
I have time blindness too, if I have a hard thing then I set alarms, if it is just things around the house then I just do them when I have a burst of energy or do things like set the washing machine to go overnight so that as soon as I think of it in the morning I can hang it out rather than I have to remember both. I also batch cook when I make something so that the rest of the time I can just grab something from the freezer when I suddenly realise that I am hungry cause otherwise I am likely to just go for a snack
Thank you for your pair of videos. I have never been diagnosed and at my age (retirement) no need to but I recognized a lot of myself in your non-DSM statements. Welcome to my world! You mention keeping a calendar and I related to having the dental appointment dominating the day. In general, keeping calendars and to-do lists are important, but not for time management but for energy management. Agree a calendar can remind us of the one thing we have to get done even though it is a down day. A to-do list can be helpful when we have a burst of energy or concentration and see what is a priority to get done. Remember there are some tasks that we consider non-productive that the rest of the world consider productive. For example, people at work would wipe down their desks to get rid of dust and coffee stains. I found it to be very non-productive, but very useful at the end of a productive day when there we a few minutes to kill before quitting time. It was nice to have a mindless non-productive unwinding activity to kill time that my coworkers actually thought was productive!!!
I’m really sensitive to exercise and I wonder if this is because I’m autistic. When I do exercise it feels like it almost radically transforms my brain and sometimes can spur me into that Tasmanian devil state when I was just trying to get 30 minutes of cardio.
When I’m not on holidays I pretty much end most days exhausted. On a productive day I’m hyper focused until I literally can’t focus anymore and are completely drained and need to go to my bed under my weighted blanket and veg out on my phone with my teddies. Or I’ve pushed myself so hard trying to get enough done in the day so that I’m not behind in with my work that I end up less exhausted than a productive day so maybe can talk to family or help with dinner or even just be out of my room but then need to be just with me later on. I feel like I’m still finding my balance but hopefully getting better sleep will help me get there ☺️.
This is definitely so so true expecially with me. I know when I am focused on my UA-cam stuff that's all I can focus on and sometimes it's 19 hours straight and then I'll crash and have to sleep or I forgot that I didn't eat. I definitely do my best work when I'm super super zoned in and focused
A supernova is a spectacular burst of energy, followed by a collapse into itself into a black hole, where no energy can escape. The supernova _causes_ the black hole.
Yes! Thank you for sharing that. And then after you mentioned that another person mentioned something so similar! It’s interesting that many of us are on the same wavelength with this. Great suggestion!
This explains so much to me, it was like a lightbulb went off when you mentioned autistic inertia (that may have been in part 1?) Thank you! I would love it if you made some videos about specific challenges with parenting, especially at the toddler stage! Toddlers struggle with transitions, and so do we, so I find it can just become such a crunch point in our day. All the resources I've come across seem to be aimed at parents of autistic children, rather than parents who are autistic themselves.
I found in setting timers for my toddlers transition difficulties very helpful. 15min & 5min before activity change (& now use on myself daily) (1hr warn for impt wk/mo events & 2days warn for big holiday/fam/etc events.
Your videos have been so helpful! I'm 32 and learning I'm on the spectrum and how I've masked that my whole life. My biggest and most reliable stim is rapping eminem songs lol 😆
I also go for walks, when I get into that super nova thing. I try to do this later in the day, else I will be out for hours soaking in nature, unless it is pouring down rain. Then I’m inside IKEA late in the day walking in circles. With headphones in case one or two mothers are there way past a toddlers bedtime. Do not judge me, I am in Denmark and this is mall walking for me. My gym has non electric treadmills and because of the balance issues many of us have, I feel like I am walking drunk on them. It is difficult right now with less than 8 hours of daylight a day. My husband gets so hyper focused into his games or youtube video channels, that in order to get his attention, I have to touch him on his shoulder. I am diagnosed, he does not want the official label. I noticed if you touch someone on the shoulder, and I got this from Dr. Phil, they actually listen to you. It is yelling their name at them repeatedly and getting frustrated. Be yourself is the best advice. Lately, I have gotten into stoicism, and found that a lot of the advice on the Daily Stoic keeps me focused on me and my tasks, and not trying to micromanage others in my life.
Great tips! I need to have your checklist always in view! My room is dimly lit, under soft, heavy bedding, and away from stimuli of other sounds and lights is my go to for decompression. Maybe play some music or videos by myself. This is what I like to do everyday before and after a productive or social day. And I want your hoodie!! What brand is it? Right now hoodies, sweats, lounge pants is my comfort clothes. I'm having such a hard time finding quality and comfortable clothing that fits well. Especially while having meltdowns, sometimes very limited things are cozy enough 😩
Thanks for this and how I work with it is just embrace the uneveness and use it to my advatageto work on a million projects at once... As when ever I try to control it just constricts me so much it defeats the point. Edit: I am also a super Savant(Good at so many things.) with Add and a lot more things going on so balance would just mean slow or no progress on the stuff I do... Pretty much I am making the best of being disabled then make my projects worse off while being just as disabled.
I think i got a unique perspective on this as both outsider and insider as one of my relationships was with someone with suspected autism as autistic person (both unaware at the time). The problem here is i recognize this behaviour, but its so destructive for relationships, because you basically say to someone im gonna be a horrible partner, and then when im done im gonna be a horrible partner. While sometimes i like to use the societal model, sometimes it is also worth considering the medical model. It doesn’t make sense for someone to hear next 2 months ill probably barely recognize you. You get tremendous amounts of anxiety on the receiving end. You can indeed make it better by recognizing your patterns, communicating intention to do better, and appreciating the heck out of someone. but also sometimes, while it may give you anxiety in one of those episodes to not engage in it, it is worth remembering the other might now be experiencing anxiety as well.
Also, it actually may be healthy for anyone in their 20s with autism to get someone with autism. While it may be doomed to fail, you will learn alot about yourself and autism. You will really make a distinction between where society is doing wrong, neither/both are doing wrong, and where maybe you are doing wrong
omg never knew uneven productivity was a thing others experienced... i thot i was just lazy and undisciplined ...ugh.... didnt know what i was up against...
Great video. I couldn't figure out where to respond regarding auto immune disorders and autism. Most people in my family have both severely. I can not talk about my living family, but I have a ton of food intolerance, IBS, severe muscle cramping that can only be fixed by painfull deep tissue massage, indoor and outdoor allergies, and I am intolerant to artificial scents, any bar soap except dove free and clear, and the list goes on. My dad had severe muscle cramping, where he could barely move. And he had something like allergies, but we never understood what was causing the allergies.
With the body cues thing, it’s like the opposite for me. I am so aware of how my body feels it is distracting. I am always uncomfortable and something is always hurting. But at the same time, my brain is always running a mile a minute. What sucks for me is that I work full time & am doing grad school part time. I have almost no free time to myself & it is really exhausting. I just started grad school in January & I am still struggling so hard to time manage for homework, cooking, cleaning, playing with my cat who needs my attention, etc. I live alone so if the dishes don’t get washed, they just pile up. It is so exhausting to have to do everything myself and it makes me very envious of people in committed relationships 😞 I’m trying to not be envious but it is so hard
Thank you for making these videos. I am recently turning 32. I have been diagnosed since I was 12, but the lack of but the lack of female representation in healthy independent/romantic relationships apart from family was staggering. I felt like only men on the spectrum could have any form of S.O. because the lack of understanding/empathy fir the female side of the struggle. Adulting has been hard, especially when I feel that I am carrying dome dark secret that I will gave to wait to spring on someone or that I will have to be uncomfortably upfront about my autism. Which puts a distance between me and the person I am wanting to connect with you are the first channel I have seen that shows an autistic mom in a healthy, loving relationship. You give me hope that I can have the life I have always dreamed of! Thank you!!!🫶🙏❤😂🌻
All makes a lot of sense. For me it just seems impossible to be working within an organisation. My needs just simply aren't there's, they are very helpful....but they still have things that need done to their schedule, not mine. I so would love to be able to be working for myself, I just can't imagine how to even begin with that
Well, we dont know what colour a black hole is technically. Also the event horizon is quite bright. Also black holes are quite dense so i like the black hole analogy better. You literally cant escape it
Thanks for the great tips. I was just wondering, how do you all cope with the other side of it? Having trouble to start, I mean? I am a single mom on the spectrum as well and I also work at home. When I know my son is going to be home from school at 1 pm, it is so hard for me to even start working in the morning, as I know he is going to disturb my flow as soon as he walks in. It is the same as with the dentist example in the first video, when you know you have to go to the dentist you hardly get anything done the whole day. This really is a huge problem for me, as I work from home and I am always disturbed in my flow, my home is not particularly large and working outside of home costs too much and distracts me too much as well. That’s why I often have difficulties to start, which bothers me a lot!!! By the way, I never knew that so many other people have this inertia problem, I am so thankful for knowing I am not the only one!! 🙏🏻
I have my cellphone full of alarms to go through the day, from waking up, cooking, going to pick up the kids, up to getting to bed..... My biggest problem is the un-even quantities of spoons I get each day... some days I have none and some days I am full of them, but they not always align with my real life plans.
Taylor, I'm curious to know what your enneagram type is. I have listened to almost all of your videos on autism and the traits and characteristics that get overlooked in women. I have a lot of the same characteristics and traits that you talk about in your videos, especially this video in particular. I literally am the only person in my circle of friends and close family that has this high energy drive to conquer the world and then crash after several days of highly intense, laser focused work. I, too, love organization. I am extremely detailed and thorough. I will spend hours upon hours and days with no rest researching about topics that interest me. Then, after my soul feels satisfied that I have learned all I can learn, I shutdown. I've had an extremely difficult time trying to sustain my energy and keep up with the people around me. According to the various self assessments, I am on the spectrum. I've studied my type of personality according to the Enneagram. I am type 9 and most of traits you discuss are actually traits of type 9. So, I'm wondering if there is a correlation between that specific personality type and autism. Have you dove into that topic? I'd like to hear your thoughts on it.
i honestly find that a lot of autistic people are 5s, and maybe 1s. I am personally a 1 (I do think I can operate with both a 9 and 2 wing). BUT I think autistic people can be any enneagram number. I would DEFINITELY love to study this and find more info, though. I think 5s make a lot of sense bc of the need for information and constant learning/solitude. But also 1s bc of perfectionistic/people pleasing tendencies. Totally personal opinion though! Great question.
@@MomontheSpectrum Very insightful! Thank you for your reply! After I commented, I actually found that most autistic people are 5's or have strong characteristics from type 5. After I took the enneagram assessment, the results showed I'm a 9 but then type 5 came in close second. Like you, I enjoy psychology. The enneagram is amazing to me.
I really enjoy it content!! I was also late diagnosed autism. Any tips on growing my channel? I also really enjoy making content related to autism but I'm slowly getting discouraged 🙇♀️ any advice would be greatly appreciated?!
What am I supposed to do if my anxiety is too bad to get a job, my productivity isn't reliable enough to keep one, and I don't have a skill I can make my own business out of?
I’m permanently exhausted with small pockets of productivity. How can increase my energy? Is there a way? I live in a quiet environment and don’t work, I can’t, I’m too exhausted 😩 edited to add I’m 60 and only known for 3 years
theres nothing worse than having people compare u to neurotypicals and ask why u cant be like them and do what they do, in a judgmental and critical way.... and make u feel like a completely inferior human being .... i will call my kids play dates anything i want..they wouldnt exist without me lol
Any suggestions for me if I think my son has autism but me and my husband did a very long test years ago and the doctor diagnosed him as just being “pokey”. He is 12 now and my husband doesn’t feel it would benefit us if we got him tested again?
I had an assessment with psychiatry uk and they said I am on spectrum then I got confused and told them and dr said she went through all my documents and she still thinks I’m on spectrum but I just saw a psychiatrist in Pakistan and he said he can’t even smell asd from me and there is no chance I have asd, I’m so confused which version of me is real me ? Any tips ?
Mania and depression aren't productivity and burn out - they can contain those things, but those things don't fit only within those manic/depressive episodes.
Thank you for what you do💜 I started reading info on late diagnosis of ASD in females after one story reminded me a lot of my sister. I wanted to know more to try to understand her better. She has not been diagnosed, but wow, it really resonates. Very surprisingly to me, some descriptions also describe me. 😳🫣 My sister and I are quite different in many ways, however, the diverse ASD descriptions apply to both of us. I've been in tears and quite overwhelmed after reading some descriptions of what different life stages may be like for ASD females, as it described my life so well. As many others have said, wow, so much starts to make sense as you work through and process it. It was initially so emotional and isolating, but finding resources like your channel is so helpful and supportive. Thank you💞 So much to process - masking, stimming - I had no idea, but yes, I do both all day long... Transitions! Wow!! Covered in your sleep post - others get so frustrated at my 'faffing', but I seem to need to do it. I try to go faster when I'm with others, but that's anxiety-inducing for me and I get in a flap. Now I get annoyed at myself for 'faffing' and try to limit it even when I'm on my own. But your description of the need to take time to transition between activities or places is excellent and such a relief. These productivity posts describe me completely. P.S. I love watching your ginger cat wander about on his daily meandering 🐱
"tell me you need my attention before you start sharing information with me". This alone would create such a better world.
I figured out something called "batching" years ago and now realize it works so well for me because I'm autistic. If I can devote an entire day to one task, it gets DONE. But if I have to do several things throughout the day, my productivity is kinda crap. The closer my day can look like pure batching of one big task per day, the better. It'd be such a dream to not have to work everyday, but that's not currently possible.
Omg YES. If I can devote an entire day to cleaning the house, I can do it. But if I have literally ANYTHING else scheduled that day, I get overwhelmed and I’m lucky to get a single room done. It’s very much an “all or nothing” thing 😩
I do this already! Love the phrase batching
Hey! That sounds AWESOME! I think I can do that! Thanks for the tip
if I know I have *one* task later in the day, even if it's a task that won't take very long, it blocks be from doing the more productive tasks in the hours I am ostensibly "free" to do them.
I’ve been a self employed hairdresser for 10 years and salon owner for 5. I’ve had plenty of time to try out different schedules, and a few years ago I tried what I call a color coded week, where I have red, green or pink days. Typically red days I am dressed up, on point and taking clients and being present in the shop. Pink days are completely to myself- I typically do no work outside the home or see other people on pink days. Then I have the “green” day once a week where I don’t have to be on point, but maybe I have to see people, like if I have vet or dentist appointments or need to get groceries. This system works incredibly well for me!
Thanks so much for sharing this information. It would have helped so much in my early twenties to know this about myself.
I like this! I am going to try this schedule!
This is life changing. This explains why I’ve had a hard time keeping jobs and why I always feel so inconsistent. Now I can stop beating myself up about it and just accept this is who I am.
Same.
I like the tip about stimming to get the energy out. Stimming has changed my life. I used to have this horrible tension in my back but that's improved A LOT since I've started stimming more. I had tuned out my body for so many years, it was surprising when I tuned back in to discover all these stims: rocking, flapping, swaying, fidgeting, singing at the top of my voice. Sometimes, I get this need to click a pen open and shut repeatedly for a minute or two, right next to my ear. It is the best. I think that's a great tip for that feverish state of not being able to stop being productive. I'm also going to try the tip when you take some alone time in the dark.
I think there was a bit of time during the community group when you were rocking and it made me so happy! I am working on integrating more movement in my life.
I need to get better at stimming, I am so aware of the potential to be annoying, and I think I suppress it.
Pen clicking (which I do sometimes) made me think of the movie Music and Lyrics...I suddenly wonder if Drew Barrymore’s character was on the spectrum? Lots of hints now that I think of it.
@@jimwilliams3816 if you're at home dancing is a great stim
I’m glad my supernova comment resonated enough that you thought it was worth sharing. I feel seen. 😊
And I enjoyed your “we’re everywhere” voice. It fits society’s narrative that different is scary.
🖤
It's so strange having repressed the various stresses that build up on me so much that when I watch videos like this and hear a statement I particularly relate to, in my mind it doesn't seem like a big deal thing but at the same time I start tearing up. Thank you for helping me and others get in touch with how these little stressors can take a toll and for reassuring us that there _are_ ways to feel more at ease 🧡
I have experiences like this too. Little things that have an emotional impact on me. 💞
I’m sitting here bawling right now. I’m in the very beginning stages of my “awakening” if you will? This is my third video from her channel. I was being so hard on myself for the tears but your comment made it OK. So thank you!
Same x❤
This inertia concept is a big thing for people with ADHD too
Absolutely!
I've been like this my whole life. But the older I get, the longer it takes to recover from the hyper focus. It can takes days to recover now (I'm 53), depending on how long the hyperfocus was.
I'm always envious of "regular" people who can work every day and not have a "crash" afterward.
i so relate to having to move to get energy out. now that i've started being more mindful of what my body is telling me and my mental state, i realized that i've been mistaking energetic for anxiety. so now when i notice that i'm tensing up i'm like "oh, i need to move." i really like dancing for this! like just getting weird to music is a great way for me to get physical energy out. or i'll stay where i am and headbang 🌟
I had a very bad car accident that left me with a severe brain injury in 2015. I’ve been coming back from it slowly but all of what you’re talking about it what I’m dealing with. I’m not sure if I’ve always had it, but I can certainly relate to your description of autism. I’ve always been super sensitive to stimulation, walked on my tippy toes as a child, much preferred my own company and so much more.
I have a little Google Tasks reminder to check in with my brain, body, and emotions that pops up every afternoon. It's a small thing but has been super helpful. Ten seconds of mindfulness is so much better than none!
Lol "black hole rest" perfect way to describe it! 😂😂😭
I'm actually going to show these 2 videos to my daughter. She doesn't want to do anything. She's essentially living like an animal based off instinct. I told her, we as humans NEED to live out lives the best we can with intentions and love for ourselves. Yes, we are autistic and I would love to NOT DO ANYTHING. But, the real world that we live in will never allow us to do that. So, we have to practice and talk to ourselves often. That : it's ok to shower, it's ok to brush our teeth, it's ok to make food and it's ok to take care of other people. It's hard. Really hard.
I love the part about giving yourself grace while working on the ways intense hyperfocus may cause us to neglect other areas of our lives (especially people). I don't have kids, but I do have a medically and behaviorally complex furbaby that requires a lot of time and attention. When I am "In The Zone," I not only neglect my own needs (food, bathroom breaks, the phone, medication alarms), but I also neglect her needs as well. "I'll feed you, I just need 15 more minutes," turns into "Oh my God, I was supposed to give her her seizure meds 3 hours ago!" And I'll have vague memories of hearing her meowing and crying trying to get my attention and then eventually...silence. She gives up. And it breaks my heart. That is the dark side of the Supernova of Productivity. The time blindness is just insane. The guilt and shame that sometimes arises on the other side can be overwhelming. So I've had to practice the whole grace thing while also working on being present enough to take care of the important stuff.
Also, just to add to your tip to get up and move around, the Headspace app had a walking meditation last week that I really liked. You know how they say if you're mad, go for a walk? Well, if you're in the house or your back yard (somewhere without dangerous objects lying around), take off your shoes and socks! It's really grounding to be able to feel the earth. I'm a chronic slipper wearer because I hate stepping in water with socks on. So, just being able to feel the carpet while I did my meditation walk made the entire experience completely different! I plan to make this a weekly exercise and not just when I need to blow off steam.
Wow the fur babies part really hit me. Agree. These days what energy I have ends up being used to do my job and I have little energy left afterwards for other things. And I lose focus on the kitties while I am managing to work. I feel both resentful of the job and shame about everything else. I wish I could retire while the cats are still youngish, but I probably have to stick it out for another 5 years or so at least. This must be what moms with young children feel like (never had kids).
Wow, so many thoughts and emotions on this one. I have always had what I now gather is called dysautonomia, overactive adrenal function that stimulates excessive fight or flight. Then there is the tendency for hyperfocus to be adrenal fueled, and the job I have had for about 12 years, which is high stress. It became my obsessive focus the first five years, and also involved these ridiculously intense 3-day trips that centered around tight flight schedules, short deadlines, public meetings and presentations (COVID ended that). I type all that out, and it is SO obvious why, given what I now understand about myself, I could feel the job changing me somehow, and later realized that my fight of flight and meltdowns has worsened so much.
These days I really cannot afford to go into adrenal-fueled hyper productivity, or I have panic attacks...so my approach for the moment is to just stay calm, and do my best to get some work done. ADHD traits make it hard to stay focused if I’m not on a tear, but the black hole or supernova or hyperfocus pushes me toward meltdowns or at least eruptions, especially now that work is no longer my obsessive special interest..now it’s my mental health, LOL!...so adrenaline mostly comes from the realization that I better get this job done now or I am screwed.
There’s a lot here that applies. The most useful thing for me to think about is self-awareness as a starting point to figure out what to do to re-regulate. Every other explanation I’ve seen of body awareness makes it sound to me like it’s supposed to be an end in itself, as if noticing your body is like waking up on a beautiful beach. But while I can certainly get lost in my mind, if I exit and notice my body, what I often find is that it is in a very bad place, fueled by a screaming CNS and amygdala. It’s not an centering moment in any way, it’s more like walking out of a high pressure meeting onto the streets of a war zone. It’s too late to deep breath my way out of it, I’ve tried. But responding with some of the strategies described here, concrete steps like buffering, that makes sense and I think can work. (Time for my glucocorticoids to settle back is one of the biggest things.) Thank you!
I have learned to parcel out my days and it really does help, both mentally and physically. I have a chore schedule and my husband is most supportive of making sure I am not interrupted from it. He knows my stress level goes way up if I miss a day or something unexpected comes along. I try very hard not to pack my days in and hold my downtime dear. Like you, if there are kid things, appointments, church things, or extended family obligations coming up, I look to carving out quiet time before and after. Even fun stuff gets rested up for and rest after. Being a (sort of) freelancer, I have a lot more ability to do these things for myself, thankfully. The learning not to apologize for it is the tougher part.
I didn’t know how helpful this video would be when I clicked on it, but this feels like a very practical next step in my understanding of self-diagnosis. Thank you for taking the time to share!!
You’re very welcome. Thanks for your comment.
Body check ins are so important! I was very lucky to go to biofeedback therapy (not for my autism) and it taught me so much about how to tune into my physical body and it is probably the thing that helps me the most when I'm trying to function. I wish it was something more people could have access too, I bet it would help other autistic people
Some jobs I can work at home, some I have to go into an office. I always, no matter how busy, take a 20-45 min. walk at lunchtime. No one has complained about it. And, I miss all the 'lunch talk'. LOL Some people look a little jealous at the discipline and ask if they can come too but I say "It's my time and I'd prefer to go alone." Anyway this is a good chance to check-in and 'cleanse the palette' so to speak. Been doing it for 6 years.
Oh wish I had had the opportunity to take long lunch breaks by myself at my last job, but it was always expected of everyone to be "social" at lunch which is incredibly draining to me.
@@JoULove Can you be 'social' 2 days a week and go for walks 3 days a week. People might get used to it. In some things you have to put yourself first.
oh my gosh, i call it "business mode". everything clicks, everything works, then I have to go sit down. I used to do to much stuff all the time.
Thank you so much for creating this forum! First one I feel I can relate to as a late diagnosed woman. Your description of the "zones" is so spot on, and you really put words to what I have had difficulty putting words to! My best tips when it comes to work situations is to be open and tell colleagues/team leaders how you function/ what makes you bloom vs what makes work life more difficult as well as ask them to describe what they need from me. Open communication - and from that mutual respect - has made my work life so much easier (and I don't feel ashamed for being weird anymore 🤪).
Greetings from late diagnosed woman from Sweden 🤗
Great tips thanks for sharing!
Thank you for part one and part two on Uneven Productivity...great to have an name for "that" Tazmanian! I had to pause this....went to the tropical green house down the road to walk around....came back and finished part 2. Nice.
I really LOVE the idea of telling the people in your life about your patterns and that if they need your attention, they need to ask for it. To me, this is just common courtesy to ask someone if it is a good time to talk but I have certain friends who will just call me repeatedly mid-workday and I find it very intrusive because I don't want to decline their call and make them think I just don't care about them. Just stating this need is so basic, like setting any other boundary, and yet so evolutionary at the same time. I appreciated also when you said this the people who, either know me well enough or have what would seem to be the common courtesy, to ask whether it is a good time to bombard me with information before doing so. Even if I were to pick up the phone in those moments, I surely wouldn't be able to contribute anything meaningful anyway! Thank you for sharing this! 🩷
This also helps so much for people with Long Covid, especially the one day rest sandwiching the high energy/focus days. The combo of asd and Long Covid is harsh. I used to take long, quick walks every day before and after intense writing sessions. Now I crash even if I meander along like a turtle. 😅 I will try to see if other body stims might work. Had never thought about Long Covid with regard to autism.
Communicating w loved ones is SO important. When I get into the "supernova", hours can pass like minutes because I'm SO engaged. Recently in this time, I learned my partner was feeling neglected, like I wasn't making room for quality time together. I obviously felt guilty, but even more so because when I am hyperfocused, I *know* I'm in a place of imbalance, but it's nearly impossible to control.
Letting them know I'm not avoiding them, I just have a very hard time transitioning from being "in the zone" to literally anything else. One idea I thought of recently is scheduling in time together, so at the beginning of the day I already know how my routine will go, and then leaving the option open for me to go back to what I was doing later.
I suggested this could be a time they spend on one of their interests as well, doing something that brings joy to them outside of our relationship. We both also have ADHD, so it's easy to fall into times where we lose the momentum to nurture our hobbies, which can take more executive function ability. I think being very deliberate about intentions and stating goals, or how we'd like things to go, and having another person to help encourage keeping things balanced can help a ton.
Some years ago at university, a friend at campus and I were both computer science majors. We had a nerdy running joke that when I had a question I would say "Query" and he would respond "Registered." At the time I didn't really think of the practical applications of it (and didn't know I had ASD back then - and I don't think he had ASD), but in retrospect it was a very clear way to have both people on the same page that a serious question was being asked and a serious answer was wanted.
Thank you, Tay!
Just found your channel. SO helpful! In regard to your ‘move the camera back’ suggestion… I’ve long offered the suggestion to my (now 30yr old, accomplished daug., who believes she’s ADHD & on the spectrum), “Pull the pebble away”. When she sees a problem as an insurmountable ‘boulder’. She’s, fortunately!, very capable of employing tools with which to cope that she learns along the way…so this suggestion has helped her a lot and is just another way to word your statement.
You’re doing great things here! I’m quite sure, I too (@ 60!) am also on the spectrum (been convinced a long time MOST people are).
Keep it up! Know you are appreciated👍🏻
I keep saying it, but I'm so happy to have discovered your channel. You articulate these ideas so clearly. Thank you 😊
You’re welcome.
I was in a community in my 20s where "stimming" was normal to get the energy out. It was spiritual people and the leader of that group encouraged us to do so... very interesstig how stimming was acepted this way, in this context, shakeing the hands like you showed. Maybe one day i send him a Video about that topic.
I rely on Google Calendar, Google Keep for notes, and my smart watch with notifications because I have no concept of time especially when life gets busy. I just need to get better at scheduling myself some self care in there!
I use google calendar too 💜 haven’t tried google keep though. Thanks for the suggestion!
I also have no concept of time but I felt that that happened as a result of my car accident. Also, it’s a symptom of spiritual awakening.
@@MomontheSpectrum I use Google Keep for notes and lists (shopping lists, etc.) The best thing is that you have access to all your notes on your phone as well as on your computer.
I have time blindness too, if I have a hard thing then I set alarms, if it is just things around the house then I just do them when I have a burst of energy or do things like set the washing machine to go overnight so that as soon as I think of it in the morning I can hang it out rather than I have to remember both. I also batch cook when I make something so that the rest of the time I can just grab something from the freezer when I suddenly realise that I am hungry cause otherwise I am likely to just go for a snack
Thank you for your pair of videos.
I have never been diagnosed and at my age (retirement) no need to but I recognized a lot of myself in your non-DSM statements.
Welcome to my world!
You mention keeping a calendar and I related to having the dental appointment dominating the day.
In general, keeping calendars and to-do lists are important, but not for time management but for energy management.
Agree a calendar can remind us of the one thing we have to get done even though it is a down day.
A to-do list can be helpful when we have a burst of energy or concentration and see what is a priority to get done.
Remember there are some tasks that we consider non-productive that the rest of the world consider productive.
For example, people at work would wipe down their desks to get rid of dust and coffee stains. I found it to be very non-productive, but very useful at the end of a productive day when there we a few minutes to kill before quitting time. It was nice to have a mindless non-productive unwinding activity to kill time that my coworkers actually thought was productive!!!
I’m really sensitive to exercise and I wonder if this is because I’m autistic. When I do exercise it feels like it almost radically transforms my brain and sometimes can spur me into that Tasmanian devil state when I was just trying to get 30 minutes of cardio.
When I’m not on holidays I pretty much end most days exhausted. On a productive day I’m hyper focused until I literally can’t focus anymore and are completely drained and need to go to my bed under my weighted blanket and veg out on my phone with my teddies. Or I’ve pushed myself so hard trying to get enough done in the day so that I’m not behind in with my work that I end up less exhausted than a productive day so maybe can talk to family or help with dinner or even just be out of my room but then need to be just with me later on. I feel like I’m still finding my balance but hopefully getting better sleep will help me get there ☺️.
yes everyone should stretch etc....
Yes. When alone, I sing, dance and chew gum in a very aggressive way lol.
Thank you for all of your kindness, compassion, insight, and wisdom, as your creativity, and your wonderful sense of humor!
Wow how eye opening!!!
Yes the same action as i am. To help.
I love using visual timers (like Time Timer) where I can see how time passes
Thanks for sharing this tip!
This is definitely so so true expecially with me. I know when I am focused on my UA-cam stuff that's all I can focus on and sometimes it's 19 hours straight and then I'll crash and have to sleep or I forgot that I didn't eat. I definitely do my best work when I'm super super zoned in and focused
A supernova is a spectacular burst of energy, followed by a collapse into itself into a black hole, where no energy can escape. The supernova _causes_ the black hole.
Oooo you mentioned my VIP days!
Yes! Thank you for sharing that. And then after you mentioned that another person mentioned something so similar! It’s interesting that many of us are on the same wavelength with this. Great suggestion!
@@MomontheSpectrum I just started doing it this summer and it's been such a nice way to work
This explains so much to me, it was like a lightbulb went off when you mentioned autistic inertia (that may have been in part 1?)
Thank you! I would love it if you made some videos about specific challenges with parenting, especially at the toddler stage! Toddlers struggle with transitions, and so do we, so I find it can just become such a crunch point in our day. All the resources I've come across seem to be aimed at parents of autistic children, rather than parents who are autistic themselves.
I found in setting timers for my toddlers transition difficulties very helpful. 15min & 5min before activity change (& now use on myself daily) (1hr warn for impt wk/mo events & 2days warn for big holiday/fam/etc events.
Your videos have been so helpful! I'm 32 and learning I'm on the spectrum and how I've masked that my whole life.
My biggest and most reliable stim is rapping eminem songs lol 😆
Mine is singing and I especially love when I can keep up with fast lyrics so I definitely relate
I also go for walks, when I get into that super nova thing. I try to do this later in the day, else I will be out for hours soaking in nature, unless it is pouring down rain. Then I’m inside IKEA late in the day walking in circles. With headphones in case one or two mothers are there way past a toddlers bedtime.
Do not judge me, I am in Denmark and this is mall walking for me. My gym has non electric treadmills and because of the balance issues many of us have, I feel like I am walking drunk on them. It is difficult right now with less than 8 hours of daylight a day.
My husband gets so hyper focused into his games or youtube video channels, that in order to get his attention, I have to touch him on his shoulder. I am diagnosed, he does not want the official label. I noticed if you touch someone on the shoulder, and I got this from Dr. Phil, they actually listen to you. It is yelling their name at them repeatedly and getting frustrated.
Be yourself is the best advice. Lately, I have gotten into stoicism, and found that a lot of the advice on the Daily Stoic keeps me focused on me and my tasks, and not trying to micromanage others in my life.
Thanks for sharing your experience here!
Great tips! I need to have your checklist always in view! My room is dimly lit, under soft, heavy bedding, and away from stimuli of other sounds and lights is my go to for decompression. Maybe play some music or videos by myself. This is what I like to do everyday before and after a productive or social day. And I want your hoodie!! What brand is it? Right now hoodies, sweats, lounge pants is my comfort clothes. I'm having such a hard time finding quality and comfortable clothing that fits well. Especially while having meltdowns, sometimes very limited things are cozy enough 😩
Thanks! I got my hoodie at Target in the men's section. It's Goodfellow I believe.
Thanks for this and how I work with it is just embrace the uneveness and use it to my advatageto work on a million projects at once... As when ever I try to control it just constricts me so much it defeats the point. Edit: I am also a super Savant(Good at so many things.) with Add and a lot more things going on so balance would just mean slow or no progress on the stuff I do... Pretty much I am making the best of being disabled then make my projects worse off while being just as disabled.
I think i got a unique perspective on this as both outsider and insider as one of my relationships was with someone with suspected autism as autistic person (both unaware at the time). The problem here is i recognize this behaviour, but its so destructive for relationships, because you basically say to someone im gonna be a horrible partner, and then when im done im gonna be a horrible partner. While sometimes i like to use the societal model, sometimes it is also worth considering the medical model. It doesn’t make sense for someone to hear next 2 months ill probably barely recognize you. You get tremendous amounts of anxiety on the receiving end. You can indeed make it better by recognizing your patterns, communicating intention to do better, and appreciating the heck out of someone. but also sometimes, while it may give you anxiety in one of those episodes to not engage in it, it is worth remembering the other might now be experiencing anxiety as well.
Also, it actually may be healthy for anyone in their 20s with autism to get someone with autism. While it may be doomed to fail, you will learn alot about yourself and autism. You will really make a distinction between where society is doing wrong, neither/both are doing wrong, and where maybe you are doing wrong
I just got the weighted blanket you recommended and it's great!
Awesome!! I LOVEEEE mine.
omg never knew uneven productivity was a thing others experienced... i thot i was just lazy and undisciplined ...ugh.... didnt know what i was up against...
You doing a great job! ❤
Great video.
I couldn't figure out where to respond regarding auto immune disorders and autism. Most people in my family have both severely.
I can not talk about my living family, but I have a ton of food intolerance, IBS, severe muscle cramping that can only be fixed by painfull deep tissue massage, indoor and outdoor allergies, and I am intolerant to artificial scents, any bar soap except dove free and clear, and the list goes on.
My dad had severe muscle cramping, where he could barely move. And he had something like allergies, but we never understood what was causing the allergies.
With the body cues thing, it’s like the opposite for me. I am so aware of how my body feels it is distracting. I am always uncomfortable and something is always hurting. But at the same time, my brain is always running a mile a minute.
What sucks for me is that I work full time & am doing grad school part time. I have almost no free time to myself & it is really exhausting. I just started grad school in January & I am still struggling so hard to time manage for homework, cooking, cleaning, playing with my cat who needs my attention, etc. I live alone so if the dishes don’t get washed, they just pile up. It is so exhausting to have to do everything myself and it makes me very envious of people in committed relationships 😞 I’m trying to not be envious but it is so hard
Thank you for making these videos. I am recently turning 32. I have been diagnosed since I was 12, but the lack of but the lack of female representation in healthy independent/romantic relationships apart from family was staggering. I felt like only men on the spectrum could have any form of S.O. because the lack of understanding/empathy fir the female side of the struggle. Adulting has been hard, especially when I feel that I am carrying dome dark secret that I will gave to wait to spring on someone or that I will have to be uncomfortably upfront about my autism. Which puts a distance between me and the person I am wanting to connect with you are the first channel I have seen that shows an autistic mom in a healthy, loving relationship. You give me hope that I can have the life I have always dreamed of! Thank you!!!🫶🙏❤😂🌻
I thought i had bipolar disorder bc of this! Glad to know its my autism.
All makes a lot of sense. For me it just seems impossible to be working within an organisation. My needs just simply aren't there's, they are very helpful....but they still have things that need done to their schedule, not mine. I so would love to be able to be working for myself, I just can't imagine how to even begin with that
Very helpful!
Well, we dont know what colour a black hole is technically. Also the event horizon is quite bright. Also black holes are quite dense so i like the black hole analogy better. You literally cant escape it
Thanks for the great tips. I was just wondering, how do you all cope with the other side of it? Having trouble to start, I mean? I am a single mom on the spectrum as well and I also work at home. When I know my son is going to be home from school at 1 pm, it is so hard for me to even start working in the morning, as I know he is going to disturb my flow as soon as he walks in. It is the same as with the dentist example in the first video, when you know you have to go to the dentist you hardly get anything done the whole day. This really is a huge problem for me, as I work from home and I am always disturbed in my flow, my home is not particularly large and working outside of home costs too much and distracts me too much as well. That’s why I often have difficulties to start, which bothers me a lot!!! By the way, I never knew that so many other people have this inertia problem, I am so thankful for knowing I am not the only one!! 🙏🏻
I have my cellphone full of alarms to go through the day, from waking up, cooking, going to pick up the kids, up to getting to bed..... My biggest problem is the un-even quantities of spoons I get each day... some days I have none and some days I am full of them, but they not always align with my real life plans.
Taylor,
I'm curious to know what your enneagram type is. I have listened to almost all of your videos on autism and the traits and characteristics that get overlooked in women. I have a lot of the same characteristics and traits that you talk about in your videos, especially this video in particular. I literally am the only person in my circle of friends and close family that has this high energy drive to conquer the world and then crash after several days of highly intense, laser focused work. I, too, love organization. I am extremely detailed and thorough. I will spend hours upon hours and days with no rest researching about topics that interest me. Then, after my soul feels satisfied that I have learned all I can learn, I shutdown. I've had an extremely difficult time trying to sustain my energy and keep up with the people around me. According to the various self assessments, I am on the spectrum.
I've studied my type of personality according to the Enneagram. I am type 9 and most of traits you discuss are actually traits of type 9. So, I'm wondering if there is a correlation between that specific personality type and autism. Have you dove into that topic?
I'd like to hear your thoughts on it.
i honestly find that a lot of autistic people are 5s, and maybe 1s. I am personally a 1 (I do think I can operate with both a 9 and 2 wing). BUT I think autistic people can be any enneagram number. I would DEFINITELY love to study this and find more info, though. I think 5s make a lot of sense bc of the need for information and constant learning/solitude. But also 1s bc of perfectionistic/people pleasing tendencies. Totally personal opinion though! Great question.
@@MomontheSpectrum Very insightful! Thank you for your reply! After I commented, I actually found that most autistic people are 5's or have strong characteristics from type 5. After I took the enneagram assessment, the results showed I'm a 9 but then type 5 came in close second. Like you, I enjoy psychology. The enneagram is amazing to me.
I am really interested in getting to know routines / habits of autistic entrepreneurs. Do you have any resources you can forward me ?
Like what you offer. Have just subbed to you
I really enjoy it content!! I was also late diagnosed autism. Any tips on growing my channel? I also really enjoy making content related to autism but I'm slowly getting discouraged 🙇♀️ any advice would be greatly appreciated?!
What am I supposed to do if my anxiety is too bad to get a job, my productivity isn't reliable enough to keep one, and I don't have a skill I can make my own business out of?
find supportive peers. Society values the lone hero, but its a myth!
I really really need help with this.
Does the support group cost money?
I’m permanently exhausted with small pockets of productivity. How can increase my energy? Is there a way? I live in a quiet environment and don’t work, I can’t, I’m too exhausted 😩 edited to add I’m 60 and only known for 3 years
theres nothing worse than having people compare u to neurotypicals and ask why u cant be like them and do what they do, in a judgmental and critical way.... and make u feel like a completely inferior human being ....
i will call my kids play dates anything i want..they wouldnt exist without me lol
Any suggestions for me if I think my son has autism but me and my husband did a very long test years ago and the doctor diagnosed him as just being “pokey”. He is 12 now and my husband doesn’t feel it would benefit us if we got him tested again?
i always ask, are u talking to me ???!!!lol....
i need months if not years off after a semester of school...ugh...
I had an assessment with psychiatry uk and they said I am on spectrum then I got confused and told them and dr said she went through all my documents and she still thinks I’m on spectrum but I just saw a psychiatrist in Pakistan and he said he can’t even smell asd from me and there is no chance I have asd, I’m so confused which version of me is real me ? Any tips ?
How does this differ from Biploar ?
The high periods of productivity or whatever else
To the low periods ?? That can last a week or mNy weeks???
Mania and depression aren't productivity and burn out - they can contain those things, but those things don't fit only within those manic/depressive episodes.
Great videos. I’m pretty sure we should be friends. 😊
My nickname is Taz😂😂😂
Thank you for what you do💜
I started reading info on late diagnosis of ASD in females after one story reminded me a lot of my sister. I wanted to know more to try to understand her better. She has not been diagnosed, but wow, it really resonates.
Very surprisingly to me, some descriptions also describe me. 😳🫣 My sister and I are quite different in many ways, however, the diverse ASD descriptions apply to both of us.
I've been in tears and quite overwhelmed after reading some descriptions of what different life stages may be like for ASD females, as it described my life so well. As many others have said, wow, so much starts to make sense as you work through and process it.
It was initially so emotional and isolating, but finding resources like your channel is so helpful and supportive.
Thank you💞
So much to process - masking, stimming - I had no idea, but yes, I do both all day long...
Transitions! Wow!! Covered in your sleep post - others get so frustrated at my 'faffing', but I seem to need to do it. I try to go faster when I'm with others, but that's anxiety-inducing for me and I get in a flap. Now I get annoyed at myself for 'faffing' and try to limit it even when I'm on my own. But your description of the need to take time to transition between activities or places is excellent and such a relief.
These productivity posts describe me completely.
P.S. I love watching your ginger cat wander about on his daily meandering 🐱