Fours Ways To Get A Narcissist To Leave You Alone/Tips I am Using
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- Опубліковано 6 чер 2024
- Fours Ways To Get A Narcissist To Leave You Alone
I am using these tips. Number Three is the most helpful tip.
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We cannot control other peoples' behavior...only our reactions to them.
Silence is golden. 🌞
Perfect
Thank you Doug
Took me a long time to stay away from people who only caused me grief. Always tried to get along with all people and all it ever got me was walked on and used. No more!!
This!
I hear you loud and clear. Dawn gave some great advice here. You've got to shut them down and make them go away.
Stay away from them and don’t feel guilty
I love your tip about start talking about something that interests YOU. To put it even more simply, I’ve found that if you talk about yourself and not them they suddenly need to hang up! 😂
Great tip!
🤣👍
I've dealt with several narcissist in my life. They feed on negative energy as well as praise. So if they can get under your skin and annoy you, upset you and hurt your feelings, that's kind of a high for them. The best thing to do in those situations is to go "gray rock" which means you don't feed the negative energy. You can go silent and walk away, they might follow you and try to continue the argument, but if you wait long enough and sometimes it even takes a day or two, they will eventually come to you because they can't stand to be ignored. Refusing to engage in negative energy is a good technique. It's surprising but you might even get an apology. And now they may not sincerely mean it, but if they have to keep apologizing enough that'll become painful to them and they'll leave you alone. This technique works if you can't get away from the relationship for example a close family member. It takes a lot of patience and maturity to stop yourself from exploding on them but it gets better with practice....lol
This "don't feed the trolls" approach can really work.
@@buyerbware25 LOL! I love the way you put this.
It's pretty much like dealing with a child who has a temper tantrum...lol
@@buyerbware25 😄😄😄 Great response!
Thank you for the detailed explanation, extremely helpful
I love it when a narcissist or garden variety A-hat gives me the silent treatment as a form of punishment. I laugh and thank them mentally. Getting some peace and quiet doesn't feel like punishment at all in my book. You have to learn to react intellectually to their antics rather than emotionally. Label each behaviour as you pick up on it, such as you've mentioned in the past an example of gaslighting. Gray rocking them is good, but be aware if they are a violent person you need to pick and choose your battles. Violent people can lash out when frustrated when they feel wronged in some way, especially when ignored. I know from experience. It's great that you are educating yourself and others. Narcissist come in different shades of grey, but they employ the same bag of tricks to differing degrees.
Well said.
sometimes You have to set boundaries with people first then do no contact! Silence is golden. I had to do that..
perfect
Yes, I find it hard to do though
Smart advice. I have had to disengage from people who have a lot of issues. Drama queens, poor little victims of themselves, helpless moochers, etc. Just a sad reality of life. No longer do I let them waste my time and patience as their doormat.
I so understand
Sometimes the ability to let go is a great reaction to someone's criticisms. You have to consider the reason that person feels compelled to criticize. It has a lot more to do with them than it does with you. The nice thing about your advice is the anecdotal evidence you offer. I like the uh huh game. I believe I've been known to play that one. My boring subject is the Roman Empire. I find it fascinating but most people aren't really interested in Commodus, Tiberius, Caligula, Claudius, etc. If they really knew the soap opera of that history, they might like it more.
Hell of the Roman Empire idea
@@CentsibleLivingWithMoneyMom It works in bars, too ;)
Years ago, a cousin was dealing with her narcissistic sister-in-law and she told her solution: "PHYSICAL DISTANCE MAKES EMOTIONAL DISTANCE". It's worth repeating--physical distance makes emotional distance! MINIMAL CONTACT is advised but, as you said, the narcissist might be a coworker or family member. Thank you for this video.
Thank you
I've being utilizing silence for decades. Very effective and fascinating to observe in person.
A few years ago I ghosted a narcissist. Good riddence!
I'd enjoy hearing more about the topics you mentioned as well as any other you might have up your sleeve!
Thanks for sharing!
Would like to hear more talks on the subjects you mentioned. Never heard of the Grey Rock Method so going to look that up. Blessings
More to come!
Dr Ramani here on UA-cam is a really good resource for all things narc, she is a specialist in NPD. Her subscribers are lovely and it's a really positive space. Obviously Dawn is still our number 1 Mom! 😍
ua-cam.com/video/AmksB-SIvtA/v-deo.html Dr Ramani explains well
Unfortunately some people will suck the life out of you if you let them. It is more difficult if there are a family member but even family member need to understand boundaries. God bless always🌺🌺🌺
so true
NO CONTACT....that's how to get rid of a narcissist. Don't give a narcissist the keys and they can't drive you crazy. They suck the life outta ya.
You can do that most times, but there are times where it would be a challenge
@@CentsibleLivingWithMoneyMom True
Great to see growing awareness of this disorder. It's important to know that they are also very dangerous and are often involved in domestic violence..know from personal experience.
Yes! More videos on this please!! Loved it! So clever!!! 😊
I love you!
I love you too
Of ALL the videos I have ever seen you do, I think this has been my favorite! The only thing I havent tried is the being boring talking about personal growth method! Oh thats a hoot! I had to eventually just go NO CONTACT and boy do I feel better! Yes .love this topic!
Going no contact is not always an option if we can minimize contact that's great but there are some situations for example if you were divorced and you had to have contact with your spouse over your children you can't go no contact but you could go minimal contact
I have an ex who had every narcissistic trait in the book. I went no contact. None. I moved out, blocked his phone number, changed where I shopped, switched to an area of town so I would never run into him, blocked him everywhere. It worked. He had lost his supply from me. He has since passed away, and I have resumed normal life.
It sounds like you are at peace
@@CentsibleLivingWithMoneyMom Yes, this happened many years ago - can't even begin to tell you what I went through, and yes, I'm good now. I was going through cancer when he passed, so my whole life has changed, now and I am at peace.
Some people are so rude. I have learned to ignore them & stay away! If I have to deal with them daily or randomly I just ignore them. I let them know we all have issues & I need to move on. The last tip is hilarious !! Define your life and leave my alone!
💜👌💜👏🏻💜👍🏻💜
Wow, MM.
You are shining like a light on a hill!
You are handling the situation without degrading the person or yourself. I am so very proud of you and proud for you!
💜🌟💜🌟💜
You are so kind
Tip # 80 for saving your money, brown bag your lunch to work and stop going to expensive restuarants.
Good advice! A narcissist will not leave you alone peacefully until they are ready, and to make them bored with your company is perfect. If they have sociopathic tendencies though, as with my children's mother, you're in for a rough ride no matter what.
great point
Actually,you can go no contact,even with family.coworker,just clock in,do your job,clock out.you do not have to engage.at all.
Did not work that way with my narcissist. Always trying to impress you or get under your skin. He would “punish” me by not talking to me at times. That was great.
Well said Dawn. No response is the most powerful response, this is the best advice I’ve ever gotten from a psychologist. It really works when dealing with difficult people. Have a lovely Thanksgiving! Nicole
Thank you Nicole
I used to be like "Old Dawn", too. My life is more fulfilling now, and I feel less aggravated by stupid drama.
I agree on the silence is golden move! Works every time! Happy thanksgiving money mom!
Thank you Scott it would be lovely to meet you sometime you sound like such a bright articulate young man
Becoming boring is a tip I have heard before.
Yes that's the gray rock method but to add to it you could talk about things that interest you that would not interest them and then they find you really really boring
Please do a video on gray rock. It is a method that can be used on any narcissist, regardless of the status of his/her target.
will do
Have some lines to say in response to a narcissist. For example, when you are annoyed at their behaviour and they tell you that your jealousy is unbecoming or that you have anger issues, say, "Don't turn this around to be my fault. That's just manipulative."
Good advice not to engage, let them have their say and then respond with , "I hear you."
And when they have a go at you, you can always say, "Well bless your heart." It means nothing and is totally ambiguous.
Above all, never get angry - it's them not you.
love bless your heart
Very interesting topic Dawn, have you heard of the saying : "When there's no wood the fire goes out" Lot's of love from the 🇬🇧
Thank you Anne
Very interesting video. I would like more of this nature or anything you wish to share. Have a Happy Thanksgiving! 🍗🍗🥧🦃
Thank you I'm glad you liked it
Remember the song- Silence is Golden. Uh-huh, uh-huh, love it!😂
same here
usually narcissists are addicted to the sound of their own voice and their favorite topic is themselves and their lives....so seems like almost anything else would bore them.
That makes sense
Its amazing how this kind of person just floats from one person to attach themselves onto another like a parasite. Its important to try to avoid this kind of person. I don't think you are rude to tell the person you have to go. They are the one with the problem. tfs Happy Thanksgiving 🍃🍂🍁🌵💗🦃🍃🍁🍂💗🍃🍂🍁🌵💗🦃🍃🍁🍂💗🍃🍂🍁🌵💗🦃🍃🍁🍂💗
Love this!! Great tips
Glad it was helpful!
How clever!!! Thanks for the advice...Happy Thanksgiving to Everyone!!!
Thank you Wanda
You are spot on! Good video! Those kinds of people will try to suck the life out of you-they are no ones friend-they are all about themselves.
so true
YES! Stay on the narcissist topic and would LOVE to learn everything about Gray Matter!
wonderful
Enjoy your holiday tomorrow. Love you Dawn.
Happy holidays!
Girl I gotta follow these tips for youtube comments! I can't stop arguing! Lol
I think we have all been guilty of it
I have a few people in my life that are narcissists. I say to myself everytime, why do I let them treat me bad and why do I always feel bad after everytime I'm with them. Is it me? I have cried a million tears, and yet they are still in my life. Thanks for your tips.
I think we allow that to happen because we tend to be people Pleasers
You can do it girl!
Dawn, The narcissists in my life have been dropped except for relatives. One in particular I love very much and this person has many wonderful qualities. Admired by many and I also respect the position this person holds in our family. But, I know the whole story and hear all the negativity. I listen, respectfully, try to be as positive as possible and hope for the best. I've learned that they will not change but I can give what I am able without damaging my heart. Great video. Yes, please ma'am may we have some more? Have a wonderful Thanksgiving! Love to all, Linda 💕
you are so right. we can not change other people
I’ve been in those shoes. Seriously I have a family member just like this. I played the uhuh game
perfect
When people don't give a response or feed into a situation people will start filling their brain with negative possibilities and end up scaring them. When someone starts whining my stock comment is 'What would you like me to do about it'? This works with bosses and anyone else. Really derails them.
I like that Jill
I love this
"Special qualities" LOL
Another great video/tips and look forward to others similar. You're very clear and to the point without wasting any time telling viewers to like/subscribe etc.... Love following you...xxx
Glad it was helpful!
You are so right !Talking about ourselves gets them to hang up real fast ¡ Great Point!!!!love ya,linda from Toytown
Thank you Linda Loo
I forgot, yes, more videos like this would be nice. 😊
You got it!
Thank you for sharing this information it was very helpful
You are so welcome
Just stay away from them, family or not. they will get the message.
It is not always a choice to stay away from them because sometimes you may work with them so it may not always be an option
I usually change the subject to whatever I want to talk about if they are too boring and I don’t want to talk to them. Then also I tell them to go watch my videos, there is more about the stuff I want to talk about. Lol. Yea, being completely selfish, but it helps to avoid being manipulated.
love it
Amen!!!👏👏👏👏👏
Excellent video! I want to hear the gray rock method.
Coming soon!
When someone in my life does things and they keep on and on like that song that Lamb Chop song sings, This is the Song that Never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends, some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing forever just because This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends................you get the picture......I start talking about Jesus and start telling them about the plan of salvation, they will either say the prayer of salvation and we become friends, but the other thing they do which is what is done most of the time, they RUN the other way. People does not want to hear about Jesus. I don't force people to listen to me talk about Jesus, but I'll talk to anyone who will listen and wants to hear about him. It works every single time!!! And it stops prank callers too!!!!
oh wow
I’m going to try something I read from David serrais which is to say “you’re probably right” when you really disagree with a nasty person. They get validated and so stop saying whatever it is. I don’t think it would work with some narcissists though. They might take it as a cue to elaborate.
You could say, " That is one way to think about it"
Hello this is wonderful. yes I would like to see more videos. I have been thinking about dating again and I need to keep these key points in mind because I don't want to end up with someone like my ex-boyfriend lol lol lol THank you for shairng, God bless stay safe and hae a wonderful day
Good luck on the dating scene! I salute your courage and pray God brings you someone special. Blessings, Linda 🦋
Hurrah for dating
@@3TXSisters Hello dear friend and thank you. Yes please pray because I am just seeing but there are alot of weeds out there to get to the rose lol and if not then the Lord will see me through it also. 🌸❄️🍂🙏😘💛🌱🤩🍒🦃🦃 HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!
@@CentsibleLivingWithMoneyMom Hello there dear friend. Oh yes and it is okay nothing to special yet but you never know. Just going to take my time and not fall for the first guy that wants to say I love you lol lol lol been there done that and didn't work out twice. ( ex-husband and ex- boyfriend) both who were narcissist. So yeah I love your videos about this subject because it helps me stay in check. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!🦃🍒🤩💛🌱❄️👍🎉🍠🍝❤️🌸💙🦃🦃🦃
Maslow's Hierarchy talk does tend to turn them away. 😆
Actually that fascinates me I'd love to hear more about it
Great topic Dawn. I think we all know at least one of these folks. Have a Happy Thanksgiving.
Happy holidays!
Thank you for this video!
Glad it was helpful!
Omg...I have a friend (am reconsidering due to this video and issues) who came over for socially distant coffee on my deck last weekend. I told her how my son met with a navy recruit and a couple years ago he had some issues that would prevent him from joining (not a waiver) and the recruiter told him to not disclose this info (which is a felony, dishonorable discharge etc) and I had cautioned him about this prior to meeting and my friend said I was wrong for standing in his way (her son has bigger issues and while my relationship with my son as well as he is doing incredible, sadly their relationship has sunk and her son is not well and to be honest, much has to do with her...she has a masters degree, her husband has a doctorate in chemistry and they are very well to do people but when I began catching her in lies, her husband said “she likes to control the narrative”...crazy...I tried to do what you said as she kept going on and on (for almost an hour) I finally said, can we please change the subject and she looked at me cockeyed and proceeded on. Finally I told her I had things to do and she had to leave. The next morning she kept texting me and I ignored her as I really needed space. Finally, I called her and told her I was upset with her for not respecting my boundaries. She said she was sorry, but didn’t realize the Navy would have an application and do a background check (this after telling me her godson got kicked out for not disclosing...right) and this from the woman who is encouraging her son to move out of state rather than stop doing drugs and do the few weeks in jail for stealing liquor...smh...reevaluating this relationship
Run Rhonda.
That sounds so draining I find, what is giving me more peace, is not sharing as much I am so sorry.
@@CentsibleLivingWithMoneyMom that is what I have been doing (not sharing the sad because I don’t want to let her basically “gloat” and not sharing the good (which there is a lot of because I know her life isn’t that happy and I didn’t want to appear to gloat)...I at LEAST thought I was safe with honesty vs lying, right vs wrong AND the law...not much gray space...smh❤️❤️❤️
Grey rock would be interesting. The biggest narcissist I encountered was at work.
He was kind of funny. Everyone had to like him. I knew him better than many. Just wondered when they would finally see through him. He was a user and manipulator. I had the perfect solution. I retired. LOL 👌 It only took 16 years.
he he
Thank you. Very helpful.
Glad to hear it!
Thanks. Interesting and you gave some good ideas. Thanks.
Glad it was helpful!
I had a similar experience and was quite and the other person said did I lose you. My response was no I am just listening the other person then changed the subject on her own.
Hi Dawn, loved your video and ironically this morning I came across another video from a psychotherapist about the one word that turns off narcissists, that magic word is “whatever”. I believe his channel is called Surviving Narcissism, you and your viewers may want to check it out it was a pretty cool short video🤗
Thanks for sharing!!
I do kinda the same thing, but instead of talking about neuroscience or stuff like that(don’t know anything about neuroscience lol) I start talking about myself and what’s going on in my life. Interesting thing is all of a sudden they gotta go.
Uh huh! I like this one. This one I do when I can't get a word in edgewise. Love ya. Good advice.
I agree
Those are great tips. One thing that I did was getting a new phone and new phone number. That weeds out a lot
Great tip!
Great job!👋
Thank you! Cheers!
Great video and great tips!
Glad you enjoyed it!
I would love to hear more about gray rock. I enjoyed this video. Happy Thanksgiving Dawn.
Will do!!
Great information and tips we all can use. You are so funny as well. Just LOVE you! From your pals Debbie and Dexter-Dog living in S. California. 🙋🐾🍜🍲🍤🍛🍝🍖Happy Thanksgiving!!
Thank you so much!
Yikes to anyone that feeds on negative energy! Byeee! Lol
@Doug Ohaver you do have a point!!
I agree
You are a Rock Star ⭐💕☘️
Dawn this was my favorite non-frugal post to date. As for me though... You can't change the subject to personal growth and expect me to get off the phone. 😂😂😂
Too funny! 😄😄😄
he he
I can give the silent treatment for years🤗
Happy Thanksgiving!
Same to you!
🦃💚🦃💚🦃💚🦃 Hope you & your family has a Blessed Thanksgiving. 🦃💚🦃💚🦃💚🦃 Love Tamson 😇
Happy holidays!
I tell them I'll put them on the church conference prayer call and pray for them.
... "special qualities"... 😆
Wanna bet the thumbs down people are the ones guilty of this behavior ? LOL
he he
Yes, I want more of this subject. I've never heard of the Grey Rock, but I want that, too. I understand that you have to give your disclaimer about not being a medical professional. But you don't have a degree in business or finance or banking or accounting (or do you?), and you give great videos about making money, saving money. So therefore, it's okay to not have a psychology degree - you can still give us this type of content.
so true
❤❤❤
I thought a narcisist was somebody who bullied others, was manipulative, tells lies and tries to make people miserable? I have heard of the grey rock method, but that usually does not work for me because I think most jerks interpet silence as submission to accepting more abuse. I agree that a reaction is what they are looking for and what they get off on, but at the same time the grey rock does not work for me either. I dont know what I am doing wrong.
It isn't always easy. I had ti go no contact with someone
love your Tips !!! Please do me/us the favor to post a video about getting STALKED by a Narcissist !!! PLEASE
wow I have not had that happen to me. I am not sure how I can do a video on that
@@CentsibleLivingWithMoneyMom Thank you - anyway ...
I needed this! My x husband 🤬
💕👍
Instead of (or in addition to) responding with "Uh huh", I have said, "Really? That's interesting." Or I've said, "I didn't know that. Thanks for telling me. I will keep that in mind." I've even considered saying, "Wow! You should have gone into psychiatry or psychology...or become a family counselor." The thing is, when they make a statement like, "I disagree with you.....or what you did." All they are doing is making a statement. They are not asking you a question; therefore, no answer is required on your part. So, it's perfectly logical to do the "Uh huh" thingy. You can also say, "I can see you've given it a lot of thought. If the situation ever happens again, can I call you to get your advice? By the way, I've got a lot of shopping to do. Can you loan me some money?"
I love your responses
Im afraid Imth narcisist mow in this one relationship I have because I do get mad about unreturned texts
I do not consider you to have narcissistic qualities because you seem very caring towards others
Scott, So good to hear from you. You could never be a narcissist. You care too much about others. If someone isn't answering your texts, they may be busy or overwhelmed. Give them time. If they never respond, that's their loss of a good friend. Don't waste your time. However, if you think that person is depressed and needs a friend, text with "thinking of you, hope you have a great day." No response needed just offering encouragement. If they don't get in touch after a couple of texts like that, move on. Have a great day! Linda 😊
@@3TXSisters That's great advice!.
@Doug Ohaver Doug, Yes I was. Decided to take a break and watch MM. Just now getting back to the comments. 😊
@@smartypants1980 Scott, Thank you! Do you have any movie reviews for us this weekend? Doug told us about a good TV series, Big Sky, I've recorded it but haven't watched yet. Take care, Linda 😊
Wow Dawn, you have lost loads of weight you look great.
I would be reading this comment on Thanksgiving when I want to eat everything
These type of people have a mental disability and can not stop what they are doing and need to seek professional help. The best way I know how I would deal with such a situation is to take yourself out of their enviroment, you know out of sight out of mind, and donot give them any attention and just tell them to stay away and and use the words like, I don't want to talk to you, thats it plain and simple and to the point, there are other things that you can do like block their number from phoning you, not answer the door, have other people escort them away from your enviroment like the police, you can use the trespass and harrassment laws for cause for removal. Just don't give them any reason for contact, sooner or later they will hopefully get the point.
If you are able to take yourself out of it great but many times in life we can't always totally disconnect because it may be a family member or it may be somebody that you work with
@@CentsibleLivingWithMoneyMom I totally understand, family can be more difficult, but where there is a will there is a way, have a family meaning with all in present and explain the problem and let the family help you work it out to a satisfactory solution, now as far as work is concerned, you have more options, 1 confront the person face to face and tell them how you feel and see if you can work it out, 2 go to human resources and ask for their help, 3 go to upper management and explain the situation and ask for a conflict resolution, 4 find another employer, 5 work for yourself and be your own boss. Thats all I can do for you the rest is up to you, good luck.
These are fantastic! I do have a question for you because you probably spend more time in stores with your sanitizing and secret shopping. How do you deal with store clerks or staff who try to draw you in to their toxic mood or opinion? This morning I needed 2 things at the store. The check out clerk asked me a question "what is your day like" ..>I said "fine" and she UNLOADED about her day and closed with a racist remark (the store is in a mixed race area) and pulled her mask down to be more emphatic in stating things that make her angry and trying to get me to agree. I just stared in silence and said "can I have my receipt please". Is there a way to stop the rant and help her focus on her job?
I think I would have just said, “I hope your day gets better” and keep my hand out to quickly retrieve my change or receipt. Avoid her line like the plague whenever you go in the store.
I have to be honest 99% of the time everyone I meet here in Dallas Texas are very friendly kind courteous and professional including all staff and customers because I am first very courteous kind and respectful to them so I create that energy and get all of that back given to me I hope that makes sense
Interrupt?
I would tell her I'm sorry about your day being a rough one and I know your day is going to get better you have a really great store to work at in a lot of wonderful customers and great staff I will point out all the positives
I think I would have said, "Sounds as though you're having a bad day. I'll be praying for you." Enough said because her attitude needed prayer. 🦋
It's really hard to have a conversation with them. They do all of the talking and after they are finished, ask so how are you. I just say fine, got to go.
If they talk over me three times, I just walk away, no matter who it is.
@@buyerbware25 I like that!
perfect