How I Knew I Was Non Binary | CRUZ
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- Опубліковано 27 січ 2017
- This is my (too) long video about my realization that I was non-binary. I was rushing this video and didn't plan what I was going to say beforehand, so forgive me if I said something wrong.
You're so cute!!
Also I recently discovered I am non binary. Over a year ago, I came across a person who identified as agender and after hearing their experiences and the experiences of other non binary people, I realized I resonated with them a lot, and started calling myself non binary. But a lot of my friends didn't approve, some people thought I was just wanting to be something other than female to be unique, which is totally wrong because I have social anxiety and I'm very self conscious about everything and I certainly do not want to put more weird labels on myself. And my trans guy friend told me my experiences were social dysphoria and that I had to have body dysphoria to be trans, and that I was just gender nonconforming. For a long time I struggled with trying to figure out whether I was actually non binary or if I just wanted to be non binary for some reason and my friends were right and I wasn't trans. And my bf doesn't understand nb people or trans people in general, and he's under a lot of stress because he works too much and pushes himself too far and has issues with depression and has had bad experiences with trans people in the past, and I didn't want to be a burden on him or anything. But recently I started learning more on nb and trans stuff, and I realized that I do have body dysphoria to an extent. I've always been really awkward and uncomfortable about my breasts. I've always hated touching them and cannot stand wearing low-cut shirts that show them because they kind of disgust me tbh. I wish they were much smaller, or just not there at all.
Besides that, I think social dysphoria does count as gender dysphoria, but not all the time. Of course there are gender non conforming people who hate being compared to other people of their gender and that could manifest as social dysphoria, but looking back, I've also had signs as a kid. I never really liked being a girl, I preferred hanging out with boys, I often said "I'm not a girl I'm a tomboy" and wrote a song that I sang to my best friend when I was around 7 about how I wasn't like other girls. I also remember wanting to have a deeper voice like a boy at some point. There are a lot of little things here and there, and now I'm very sure about my identity.
But the problem now is I don't know what to do. I don't want to be non binary, I feel like I'm a freak. Tbh I do like feminine bodies and though my breasts make me uncomfortable most of the time, my bf likes them and I don't feel the need to surgically transition or go on T or anything like that. I'd like to somehow make my breasts much smaller and wear a binder (unfortunately they're really big so even with a binder they'd still show) and wear short wigs. But I'm afraid of going out in public like that and people thinking I'm weird. I've talked to my bf about it and he's fine with me dressing like that, but I still haven't told him I'm nb though he knows I've been questioning for a long time. I've come out to one friend and though most of the people I know are accepting of that stuff, a lot of people think I'm stupid or confused and I'm afraid that even if I explain my reasoning, they'll still think bad of me.
I will continue to pass as female mostly for simplicity until nb people are really accepted. I probably will try to talk to a therapist about this stuff in the future but I currently can't. I don't know what to do and I really don't want to be trans.
Omg this was so long lmao if anyone reads this I'm sorry for wasting your time xD
I feel a lot of the same things, especially about wondering if I'm 'really trans' and the body dysphoria thing. Thank you for sharing and I hope you're in a better place now!
I identify as non-binary too and I resonate with this so much! I also felt so weird in middle school with other people policing my gender. I never felt completely like a girl either, but I also knew I wasn't a tomboy.
It's wonderful to find someone on social media that I can actually relate to and who (this might sound self-centered) looks similar to me as well (as I also have short black hair and dress androgynously) !
I'm so sorry and also so happy that you finally found your true self. In guitar class I never really talked to you seem fine but watching this video I guess no one really knew how you felt and I'm so sorry for that. But I'm glad to see that you are more open and more confident. Even though I never really got to know you I feel that you are more you now then you were in high school it shows.
16 minutes, psh, please keep sharing, your words have been worth every second :)
" The grass is always greener on the other side ...... just be grateful for what you've got.... "
thanks for sharing your story
I can't even begin to tell you how much I relate to you! Like really. I've only just realized last year at 19 that I was nonbinary. That I feel better being called they or him. It's so refreshing. Though I haven't told anyone else this besides you that is- I'm starting to feel comfortable in myself.
resonate with this so much. thank you for sharing your story!
Thank you for posting this!
Oh gosh thank you for this video. Your life story made me reflect about my own and reaffirm to myself that I'm genderflux. I'm feeling much better now!!! Thanks ❤❤❤❤❤
This is soooooo touching and I relate I'm 16 and I've been questioning my gender lately I feel like non-binary clicks well with how I feel but I'm also a little Insecure to come out to family and I cane out to my friends last year they took it well which is great but I feel as though my family will accept it but not REALLY accept at the same time if that makes sense haha it's great knowing people understand...................
Thank you for this :)
what is their youtube channel??
I relate to this so much i keep crying omg🥺 i just don't know how to come out bc of my family they are so religious and stuff
thank you for sharing :D
i found out i was non binary because i didnt identify with a girl, but i didnt identify with being trans, and becoming a boy.
Hi there, I’m currently struggling with my gender identity and feel maybe the same way. When I was little I used to wear boys clothes but my family shamed me so I began dressing like “a girl”. Also when I was a kid I would fantasize situations but make myself a boy in them but I stopped after like 14. I am a natural born girl that likes women but I don’t feel like I want to permanently be a man but sometimes I see men that are really cool and I get angry that I can’t look like him becuse im not a man. And Sometimes I see guys and think I want to be that if I had beard I’d choose that I’d pick those clothes but i also like my body being desired as a women. I like my hips and my soft face and my thick thighs so I’m really confused cuz I feel both these things on and off at the same time. Can you kinda relate, do you have any advice since it seems like you know what you identify as ! Sorry if this was tmi
@@j.n.2695 no need to apologize! strangly enough, i used to feel A LOT like this. i would imagine myself as a man, and i would wish to have a guy face, and stuff. but i also liked my feminine body/hips and curves ext... my advice, would to be do what you think is right. but then again i assume your a little lost right now as i was. heres what i did-
i was thinking this but i felt like i was nonbinary, so i just kept teling myself, that nonbinary doesnt have a look. just because i look like a female, doenst mean im female, or just because i wanna look androgynous doesnt mean i have to look like a guy (but if thats what you want to do go for it)
i thought about getting top surgery when im older, and i might do so. just because boobs kinda suck, and i rather like the falt chest appearence for myself. but then again i like my boobs so eh.
so just know what ever you choose, you can still be nonbinary, or however else you choose to identify.
also maybe try looking into genderfluid stuff, i though i was genderfluid for a while.
i think what your going through, and what i went through/ am still going through is normal in discovering yourself. remember labels change, and you will find on eyou will be happy with. or maybe youll choose to not identify with a label. who knows! sorry if there wasnt an answer you were looking for. thanks for coming to me, im happy to help. good luck!
Name hi! Thank you so much for answering ! I’m glad to hear that you had the same thoughts and I like a lot of things about what you said about non binary not looking a certain way and it’s reassuring to know you had a similar thought process! Every bit of advice means a lot to me so thank you so much !
@@j.n.2695 your welcome! good luck!
Yep, I feel ya. X
I thought the exact same thing growing up in the south i just thought girls where doomed , to be unhappy and that somehow that's what I derved
I did not really see any girls that seamed happy I thought everyone felt the same
You are nonbinary goals 👌
I usually just look down in the restroom. Works every time
“NB” is not different. This person talks about female stereotypical social behaviour - hair, make up etc as if that is what female means, then goes to the opposite stereotype by cutting hair short and wears sterotypically “boys' clothes as if that is what male means. Then presents on this video like a stereotypical woman. And the life story she describes is completely normal for a women.
No not really
"obviously she was trying to police my gender" how is that obvious? that is how you took it, but I don't think a child could have the motivation to police genders.
Children learn and mimic behaviors without thoroughly understanding them.
OutOfThisBinary
Read the Bible! (read the King James version, not NIV )