Crusader Kings 2 - Part 3 - The Castration Catastrophe
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- Опубліковано 12 вер 2024
- Crusader Kings 2 continues, as the rapidly disintegrating Kingdom of Serbia presents both dangers and opportunities, we discover a fascinating new source of revenue, and High Chief Leon possibly gets a bit overenthusiastic with the castration knife...
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Jon: As a pagan, I can turn my enemies' wives into concubines. Ew, no, that's wrong!
Also Jon: As a greek, I can castrate and blind children, including my own. Yay!
You are such an arbitrary maniac, Jon
Just as long as it's not done in front of the dog
"This child's education will be of great interest to us."
Whoa, settle down there Palpatine.
I'm still watching, but does Jon not realize he has a councilor set to find heretics when he's secretly a heritic?
... UH OH
After this episode I'm sure he doesn't have the balls to accuse you, heyo! lol
That's how modern politics works isn't it?
@@ManyATrueNerd Can't wait for the next episode 😂😂😂
It's a tried and true tactic, favorite of gay preachers and drug-addled tough-on-crime politicians.
*Jon in ep 1:* I don't think I've spent enough time working under a king and exploring those mechanics.
*Jon in ep 3:* I think it's time I became king.
Don’t look a gifthorse in the mouth I suppose
Isn't he going to be a vassal for the byzantine empire once he is king?
@@AnotherGuyProductions yup, thats the idea
"I know I said my army needs to recover, but I need to raise them just a little"
*Sir Halpert looks directly into the team weaving a tapestry of your court's goings-on.*
Dang, Jon's not even a Roman emperor yet and he's already going crazy.. Love it
Jon accidently castrating his king's relatives is something you couldn't even make up. I love it when he plays Crusader Kings 2, there's just so much silly stuff that happens
Silly isn’t quite the word i would have chosen.
Jon: I hate the relic search event, it screws you over.
Also Jon: go ahead have 15% of tax revenue to search for it.
Absolutely should've sacrificed the Serene Doge to Perun when you captured him. Might not be a great idea as far as the wider political game, but my god it would've been absolutely glorious.
It would have been interesting to see what the benefits of that was, if it scales them based upon the significance of the person being sacrificed, sacrificing a ruler would have been, as you say, glorious.
@@stevechilds1547 it doesnt
@@marksmidt8225 Even so, you're still sacrificing the fucking Doge of Venice. If that doesn't make for an epic narrative I don't know what does.
@@furioussherman7265 He's not actually a Pagan, though, and even if Jon really doesn't give two shits about staying in-character, I still like to imagine there's some semblance of RP going on when I can.
@@CABRALFAN27 It'd be absolutely an RP move to sacrifice the Doge of Venice. The Great Heathen Army blood-eagled King Aelle of Northumbria when they invaded, after all.
Jon the pagan human sacrificer.. "This is good stuff. I'm getting into this"
Good to have the ol' CK2 Jon back again.. :)
If you're talking effectiveness, he's quite right. Christianity blows unless you get real lucky. Pagans have more options, but less friends.
You've hooked me onto CKII. I started a game as a Bohemian count and I'm on my way to creating the Wendish empire. I've had some mishaps, such as the time that I got my leg chopped off after being drugged by my physician as well as that time that gavelkind went a bit wibbly wobbly and tried to hand off my kingdom to some Polish count rather than my son, but it's been a great experience over all. Very fun, 10/10.
The description: King Leon gets a bit overenthusiastic with the castration knife.
Me: oh god Jon, what have you done now
I may have got a bit too castration-happy, without checking exactly who I was castrating...
Once you pop, you can't stop!
Once you snip, you can't snop
One of them was 5 years old!!!!
@@Scampi141 chalk it up as an overenthusiastic circumcision???
When Jon said capturing people was a good source of money and warscore, for some reason my mind added concubines to the list.
This game has a way of making you feel like a monster.
Play a lot of Norse/Tribals/Raiders?
Yeah, I think that goes double for me. I'm a woman but I'm nearly always playing as a male ruler, and if I stop to think about what I'm doing, I can have some very uncomfortable moments. (Then I push for gender equality so I can even the score a bit, lol!)
Also I really like how the pregnancy events play out from the POV of a female ruler. You really get the sense that your character's life is on the line, especially if you have a difficult pregnancy. Then your life is not only on the line, but your realm is being run by someone else for almost the entire duration. It feels very dangerous, but it's also a risk you literally must take, if your bloodline is going to survive.
Hot tip: Avoid that crushing sense of guilt by clicking Recruit first so you can convince yourself it's consensual. Hey, if they weren't going to pay a ransom for them, they can't have been that nice... so you're giving them a better life, right? ...Right?
@@pieoverlord Haha, you can tell yourself that, but their negative opinion modifier would seem to indicate otherwise. ;)
For me its the other way around. This game makes the most horrible things feel like daily business. I have gavelkind? Time to castrate all kids, that are not my favourite son
"Someone must have wanted to bump off the competition, I'm looking at you Veleslava." Are you saying that she bumped her self off, or that the woman with the same name got tired of being referred to as Veleslava B?
Poor Vseslava was probably just annoyed people kept calling her Veleslava B like she didn't have a completely different name, so ended it all herself.
The laws reset because your liege created the title then gave it to you. Newly created titles carry the laws and succession of the primary title who's holder created them. This only happens of you are given a higher tier title than your current primary title.
This also happens if you inherit a higher tier title than you currently possess.
Ahhh, which is very annoying, given I was just months from creating that title for myself...
@@ManyATrueNerd True, but once you "inherit" the throne of Byzantium you'll be very glad you get to keep duchal Viceroys and Imperial Administration. I only know this because the 1066 Matilda of Tuscany + Richard de Hauteville start is how I did my roman reformation run. In that start you often inherit The kingdom of Sicily while you're still a duke.
You can't have primogeniture as an unreformed pagan.
Hey Jon! Just wanted to point out that while usually your laws update with your title, that's only if you make the title yourself. Since the King of Serbia made the Duchy of Hum and granted it to you, you got *his* default laws hence why there's a mismatch.
"Someone that's polluting the bloodline with genetic weakness" sounds so wrong out of context.
At least he's not playing Germany.....
@@orkloven Or Spain...
@@biscuit715 ironic
"The castration catastrophe"
What did you do this time?
The clue's in the title ;)
My kitten Merlin was castrated today so this episode has an added resonance. (Merlin is fine. He's a little black cat, like a tiny panther and likes to walk infront of the tv following Jon's pointer.)
Bless you Jon, bless you and your comically evil ways. This is why you won't do evil runs isn't it? Being evil right now is fun and funny. 40 hours into an evil run maybe we'll find we've gone a little too deep into the darkness lol
He'll cycle through it, and spend 8 episodes trying to be "good" while saying out loud "no, we are being good right now" as he rejects some offer for reward for doing something evil. Then eventually he'll rationalize being evil again and the cycle goes on.
I have a female black cat who's name is Merlin.
I like how jon feels ok with a personal fighting skill of 15, while the hungarian king has 105
Size doesn't matter so much as how you feel wielding it ;)
How many times do we need to tell you Jon: "Chamber Business" Is not a euphemism for anything other than dying on the toilet? If someone's death is deemed suspicious it says so on the skull on their character tab
Every character Jon plays is paranoid whether they have the paranoid trait or not.
“We’re going to make this family all cultured like” said Jon, as he held his newborn son Euripides in front of his second born son Perun, named for the Slavic Warrior God.
Oh, Jon...if you're worried about money you should take full advantage of your Pagan raiding powers to steal all your neighbors' sweet loot without starting a war. Also...if you sacrifice captured enemies in battle to the gods your ruler can get stupidly powerful over time.
Jon always seems to get lucky when it counts. His greed for that 10 gold at the end of the war could have cost him quite a bit if Aquitaine decided to assault the city.
But couldnt he sell even afer the war?
This title is the kind of title that will live on forever.
Have you considered trying out raiding mechanics now that you're a pagan? There's a fun little button to toggle for each army that allows you to burn down your neighbors' holdings for money & prisoners. Best part is, you don't even have to declare war before attacking, and if you ever find yourself outmatched by your opponents, you can just flee to your own land and break down your troops. You don't usually stay hostile too long after you've stopped raiding, so your own holdings won't get sieged down.
Mind you, there is a small exploit in the game regarding raiding. You can raid a holding, bring your armies back home, disband troops and declare war. The newly raided holding won't have regrown it's garrison or levies, which make small early game wars way too easy. Since you're very consistent in not exploiting the games you play, it's best to be aware of the exploit to avoid it.
Overthrow king does not mean you got to be the king. The game is a bit vague about this, you may or may not benefit from the faction demand. Also, it does mean implement Full council power that would make the king have to go through the council every time, that Jon might need to use quite a bit of time to undo the law change. On the other hand, the Kingdom of Serbia would become elective so Jon can get himself elected to be the king if that's what he wants.
Concubines: Baaad
Castration and Blinding: Completely fine and dandy
The king of hungary has 104 melee skill even with chest pains. What a guy
A Castration Catastrophe? Well with a title like that you just KNOW this is going to be a fun episode.
Jon, you can sell people after a war, there is no point in selling someone unless they are the person you declared war on, so you were right to sell the doge of venice, but his underlings you can sell back after the war.
Ngl, rewatching this knowing knowing the true, impending, power of Perun - puts a whole different spin on Jon's commentary, than when it first came out.
This honestly might be my favourite series Jon has ever done - at the very least the best character ever ("You Rang" can't hear me right?)
Jon, if there is reason to be suspicious of a death, the game will tell you the circumstances were suspicious.
“Why is Epirus involves in this war?!?”
And that, dear Jon, is European history.
1:09:19 Jon Has discovered the best part of the warrior societies. This will single handedly pay for your wars when you play as a Tribal.
@Many A True Nerd: The Become King ambition gives you access to a new plot in intrigue that will help get you there
And also for primogeniture and the Late Feudal upgrade, if you are Pagan, you need to reform your religion to get primogeniture.
Or he could just readopt Orthodox or falsely adopt Catholic. That's the great thing about secret faiths. Public one inconvenient? Just change it :)
@@kabobawsome That's definitely true but I was just passing on some information just in case Jon wants to stay as a Pagan.
I literally live right next to the Zeta river 🤔 in Montenegro
Your mama competition and castration spree...ah, Jon, please never change :D
Jon: "Alright, Aquitaine can show up any minute, let's get in and out of here quickly!"
Also Jon: "Let me just wait for this siege to be over through starving them out while they've got 50 men defending an unwalled city against an army of well over 1500 men!"
You know how painful it is watching you sit and siege a city with 61 men in it when you have over a thousand and time is literally the defining factor in that campaign.... Oh Jon ;p
What do you do in a previous life to deserve to be called Balsag
This is my favorite movie of the week.
"you have the boy castrated and turned into a eunuch, you are a real piece of work arent you?" Jon... you have reached the point where CK2 calls you evil... HAPPY NOW!?
the artifact search can give very good artifacts like the ark of the covenant.
It's kinda hilarious how the last time Jon played this, search for an artifact was useless. My first playthrough since Holy Fury came out, I got the fucking HARP OF KING DAVID. It gave +4 diplomacy and started a golden age across my Empire since I got it.
Can't believe the next video is the 3000th video, ats some amount of entertainment
Easiest way as a "pagan" to deal with an undesireable son in gavelkind is to build a temple and give it to him. He joins the priesthood and becomes disinherited!
Also, that battlefield duel... the guy was a craven. You would have stomped him, duel skill or not. Brave will beat craven.
Also, Jon! Don't forget, as a "pagan" you can raid infidel neighbors for loot!
jon just fyi 15 is no a high personal combat skill, as norse germanic with warrior lodge and the right education you can get like 200+
I didn't understand a single word of the intro. Just magnificent.
Let's be honest Jon, you always had your eye on being the King of Serbia. You can work for the Byzantines, while still have the power a king title grants. In that you can swallow up loads of territory with no worries, until the time is right to become Emperor of Byzantium.
Jon, Magyar just means Hungarian in Hungarian :D
I was just about screaming at Jon to have the Doge and Cardinal of Venice sacrificed to Perun. Money or no money, it would have been epic as shit.
In which King Jon the Cruel castrates literal children in the hopes he would develop a taste for blood and get better at fighting.
Epirus joined the Serbia Slavonia war might be they are allied just as Aquitaine joined Venice's(and vice versa previously). Look at the pact tab of the character interface. This would be why people join wars that Jon thinks it seems irrelevant to them.
"Basileios the twitchy"
So his name is kang. Or kong.
im assuming that the real laws were "changed" because you were handed a douchy that already had a set of laws associated to it, rather than being formed/usurped by you and thereby taking upon your already adopted laws
This is on track to be my favorite series of all time! Thank you for this jon IM LOVING THE PAGAN RUN
Havent watched the vid, but based on the title you're about to enjoy the benefits of being Greek.
"He's not looking like a fighter"
"I don't know if we'll be playing as this guy"
Oh, Jon, little did you realise.
The main thing I notice about Jon in literally every game he plays is that he is a certified gutless coward.... who thinks he's Machiavelli... the kind that hurls insults at the larger man who can actually grow some facial hair until he gets noticed and then runs away squeaking in terror... every once in a great while, he sprouts a short hair and his inner "Ace" Rimmer comes out, and that's even more hilarious!!
Nah, Jon is the genius who plays the idiot who thinks they're a genius. Things might seem to work out as happy accidents for Jon, but it's all part of the plan. Just watch him turn this 'accident' into a success.
The castration sensation that's sweeping the nation! (well, lack of sensation...)
Yknow I would think someone who spent the better part of his life lying about his religion would have lost the honest trait quicker
Just so you know Jon, when you capture people in a war they stay in your dungeon after you win. So you can always just ransom people off after the war is over. I often forget to do that end end up with hundreds of people in my dungeons.
bonuses to learning are not as strong as the negatives. 2 bonuses and one negative is a slightly better than normal.
*Sees notification* oh great a new episode
*Sees title* hold on what
I hope Jon starts training retinue soon. He gets some stupidly cheap once that he can buy for prestige as a Pagan
Damnit Jon, you got me itching to play CK2 again lol. Got it working this evening, playing the now king of Pomerania. Immediately his daughter in law, who I guess likes the brave father over the craven son, went after the king and got knocked up. Now the son and father hate each other, so much so that the king nominated his dwarf second son (brave like his pappy) for his successor instead, seeing as even half a man is more a man than his eldest!
Loving this. I am actually a Pagan myself but find soo funny. Keep up the great work my brother and Blessed Be.
Pretty sure you could've ransomed your prisoners without staying at war. Also, you can ransom all of them with one button, just to the right of where you were looking there.
The only CK2 youtuber I've seen who knows how to pronounce 'de jure'
Little solace for butchering all Serbian toponyms and half of the names
@@Deadly_Laser i can imagine! Luckily for me I wasn't taught Serbian at school so it's not something I notice haha
In case you don’t realize by the end of the episode, Jon, that BFF you lost to cancer was your eldest son’s wife.
Given your parenting style, if you want to give your kids classical names, I'd go with Orestes and Attis, honestly.
In the ransom screen, the pop-up to the right allows you to ransom all ransomable prisoners. Or execute them. your call
Jeasus Christ Jon one of the kids you castrated was five years old.
"We've captured the KING of Venice!"
Physically hurts my ears
Jon, you were drunk under the table by a 62 year old woman...
While I'll be having fun watching this episode, some people in the episode wont be "having much fun" in more ways than one. 😁
Jon, the reason your laws changed was because, if I recall correctly, your liege formed the duchy and gave it to you. A newly formed title takes on the laws of the top title of whom ever forms the title.
I don't get why you won't take that barony in your capital province. Doesn't it make sense to maximize how many troops you have versus a pathetic baron as a vassal?
Don't threaten the Kingdom of Serbia with a good time
Oh, it’s not gonna be a good time when Jon took over.
For the King of Serbia, that is.
Anyone saw the Eagle on the Hungarian King's shoulder?
Jon when you get into the Great Works you should build a Palace or Mausoleum on the Location of Diocletian's Palace.
If you enjoy feudal pagans, you should check out Heastein of Rets. He's a count in Brittany in the 867 start date. He starts with enough prestige to launch an invasion. If you win, you can be a Germanic king of any country you want. Would be great for a Livestream
UA-cam: 2 comments
Me: Where are they?
UA-cam: Good question
Catastrophic Castrations are the worst kind of both Catastrophes and Castrations
Jon's enjoyment of the "Yo Momma Contests" makes me wish with Crusader Kings 3 he went with Theravada Buddhist. As they have Literalism as a doctrine which is quite the rap battle by its presentation. "AM I NOT BLESSED OF SIDDHARTHA?" as I win my "Literalist Debates" regularly.
Love the series and the commentary
36:24 "It turns out she is also a devout follower of Perun" while you both are secretly orthodox. Guess its more "devout" than devout.
I suggest trying to swear fealty to Bulgaria or Byzantium because they usually take everything in the Balkans untill the crusades start.
He plans to swear fealty to the Byzantines so he can take over from the inside.
"Dear King, I advise you hand me your crown before the northmen get too hungry."
Isn't this video title russian demonetizing roulette with a full mag?
One thing i note: it's much less personal this time. Probably because of the long and complicated names. There was more name calling in the older series. Still, once we get into roman territory the names probably change.
1:25:23: Welcome back.
Fun fact: if you say yes to being a commander, your personal combat skill goes up by 10.
The flyting is kinda like Pokemon, you just look for type matchups and try to land a super effective hit.
MORE CK2! YAY!
Missed opportunity for a Hannibal Barca reference IMO.
If you like being a Slavic pagan wait till you try reformed Hellenistic paganism (The most powerful religion in the game).
Judging by the cut he put in directly after opting to duel that guy, Im assuming he lost it and save scummed it away.