Rome: Total War - Part 36 - When Spurius Met Sally

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  • Опубліковано 1 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 317

  • @suborbitalprocess
    @suborbitalprocess 7 років тому +482

    *~Julianus Vatinius weeps in a field of dying barley~*
    "Why won't these accursed crops grow?! I've tried everything; mass cavalry charges, hails of arrows and stones, I even sent my best spearmen to assault their flanks! Nothing!"

    • @throwaway588
      @throwaway588 7 років тому +83

      Oink -10/10 most tragic story ever-

    • @lepcusmagna860
      @lepcusmagna860 7 років тому +9

      suborbitalprocess 😱😱😱😱

    • @dakotacamp7087
      @dakotacamp7087 7 років тому +9

      suborbitalprocess my favorite comment so far

    • @MrBones-td6qn
      @MrBones-td6qn 7 років тому +17

      This story genuinely makes me feel sad for Julianus V.

    • @bytedfte45gg26
      @bytedfte45gg26 7 років тому +25

      like this if you cry every time.

  • @imperatorcaesardivifiliusa2158
    @imperatorcaesardivifiliusa2158 7 років тому +309

    Valerian the Killer is such a good assassin, that, not only does he murder the enemy general, he also murders his 60 or so heavy cavalry.

    • @perfectly_balanced77
      @perfectly_balanced77 7 років тому +52

      Imperator Caesar Divi Filius Augustus I like to think he is either doing stunts and backflips as he murders the general and his bodyguard in daylight backed a cheering crowd of his 3 companions....or he convinces/intimidates the bodyguard to kill the dude for him

    • @khorps4756
      @khorps4756 7 років тому

      I know right, they just die on the spot

    • @ham_the_spam4423
      @ham_the_spam4423 7 років тому +1

      he is a max level assassin after all

    • @starpotter6787
      @starpotter6787 7 років тому +7

      Aidan Lappin yeah, he's the early incarnation of the Spanish Inquisition.

    • @thewerewolff7248
      @thewerewolff7248 7 років тому +3

      Assassin's creed: The start of a joke. coming 2018

  • @spuriusvictor1538
    @spuriusvictor1538 7 років тому +176

    Dear family member of equites
    I regret to inform you that the brave roman family member of yours has tragically died during our Egyptian campaign... They fought valiantly but unfortunately they never survived however we avenged their deaths by sending in our infantry and slaughtering the last of the Egyptians.
    My Condolences, Spurius Scapula
    P.S. Nevermind turns out they actually survived, they done a better job than we were expecting.

    • @throwaway588
      @throwaway588 7 років тому +17

      -Should have sent in some war pigs- oink

    • @lepcusmagna860
      @lepcusmagna860 7 років тому +1

      Spurius Scapula Why did you not ask Brittania for help?

    • @ham_the_spam4423
      @ham_the_spam4423 7 років тому

      you did lose some cavalry, but not all of it

  • @HarryCochrane111
    @HarryCochrane111 7 років тому +136

    All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?

    • @throwaway588
      @throwaway588 7 років тому +22

      -Being drafted into a Bald man's army- oink

    • @raymondzaloudek512
      @raymondzaloudek512 5 років тому +3

      They had a pretty good military system. Some good swords, art too.

    • @hollybartram4470
      @hollybartram4470 4 роки тому +8

      I'm very sad that no one has got the reference

    • @tarasis2722
      @tarasis2722 4 роки тому +3

      @@hollybartram4470 i got it.... king of the castle king of the castle.

    • @theemeraldepiphone644
      @theemeraldepiphone644 4 роки тому +3

      Monty Python’s Life of Brian. Come on people!

  • @weaselweasel6601
    @weaselweasel6601 7 років тому +150

    We the Senate has figured out what a "pun" is. We get this. Spurius is in a sally battle. Get it?

    • @throwaway588
      @throwaway588 7 років тому +34

      -The Senate walks into a bar.- oink

    • @Cookiesdiefrombehind
      @Cookiesdiefrombehind 7 років тому +6

      Senatus Populusque Romanus shouldn't that still be plural?

    • @manusbarbatus7509
      @manusbarbatus7509 7 років тому +3

      What is this? This joke is as weak as you!

    • @lepcusmagna860
      @lepcusmagna860 7 років тому +1

      Senatus Populusque Romanus Wow your intellect proves lower than the average brutii. I shall report this to londonium

    • @ham_the_spam4423
      @ham_the_spam4423 7 років тому

      that pun is so bad I'm going to ban trade with you and the Syndicate! no more hamsters for you!

  • @tiberiusbrutus942
    @tiberiusbrutus942 7 років тому +352

    We own Alexandria, Memphis and Thebes? I guess you could say the local powers got a-Nile-ated!

    • @adammccluskey4227
      @adammccluskey4227 7 років тому +9

      Tiberius Brutus get out XD

    • @marcusmaxentius1727
      @marcusmaxentius1727 7 років тому +31

      Tiberius Brutus Wordplay worthy of the greatest orators and playwrights!

    • @throwaway588
      @throwaway588 7 років тому +12

      Poink

    • @Schneeregen_
      @Schneeregen_ 7 років тому +3

      Tiberius Brutus I made the exact same pun a few episodes back, now you eather stole my pun or it may just be that great minds think alike (well in this case at least one of those minds isn't that great)

    • @julianwebb919
      @julianwebb919 7 років тому +5

      Didn't get the comedian trait I see....

  • @danielbat9887
    @danielbat9887 7 років тому +114

    If you take the name "Julianus Vatinius", remove and add a few letters, you get "JULIANUS AUGUSTUS AFRICANUS, PRINCIPES ET PONTIFEX MAXIMUS"

    • @throwaway588
      @throwaway588 7 років тому +23

      -Something seems a bit fishy- oink

    • @danielbat9887
      @danielbat9887 7 років тому +4

      War Pig ahahahhaha lol no jk I love the Senate. I once sold a 50000 denarii vilae to a senator. It was great!

    • @throwaway588
      @throwaway588 7 років тому +10

      Oink

    • @danielbat9887
      @danielbat9887 7 років тому +9

      War Pig That's how Senators speak

    • @khorps4756
      @khorps4756 7 років тому

      Aegypt was the name of the Roman Egyptian province, Africa was just Tunisia and some of Algieria(Mauretania) also technically he's conquered Syria and Judea as-well.

  • @oneofmanyjames-es1643
    @oneofmanyjames-es1643 7 років тому +262

    *writing essay about Tiberius Caesar*
    Oh, its 10pm, time for MATN!
    *continues writing essay with MATN in the background*
    *gets essay marked and returned*
    Why is 'WHO IS THIS GUY!?' written on my paper with an arrow pointing to the words Julianu... Oh.

    • @1967sluggy
      @1967sluggy 7 років тому +70

      Bob Boblington I swear, that is gonna happen to me. We're going to get an assignment to write about a random historical battle, and I'll just start talking about Julianus Vatinius's great victory against the Egyptians.

    • @raynes6286
      @raynes6286 7 років тому +10

      Bob Boblington I've done the same, started referring to a MATN battle instead of one in the Greco-Persian war.

    • @khorps4756
      @khorps4756 7 років тому +2

      sounds like you guys have trouble separating fact from fiction

    • @khorps4756
      @khorps4756 7 років тому

      it's probably because you can't name many historical battles.

    • @lepcusmagna860
      @lepcusmagna860 7 років тому +11

      I put julianus vatinius down when we were learning about Rome's destruction of Carthage

  • @jth2d
    @jth2d 7 років тому +86

    A catamite, a courtesan, and a monkey walk into a bar.
    The bartender asks, "what does your master do with you lot?" The catamite responds, "my master, Valerius, told me that I reminded him of a young man he loved in the army, but was killed by barbarians. In the beginning of the week, he likes to tease me, please me, and make tender love to me all night."
    The courtesan said, "my master, Valerius, told me that I remind him of his wife who left him for another man while he was at war. Late in the week, he dresses me in a wedding gown, beats me with a switch and takes me roughly all night long."
    The bartender looks at them, then at the monkey, and says, "If Valerius couples with you two during the week, I hate to think what that pervert does to this poor, helpless monkey on the weekends."
    The monkey hops on the table, holds up his hands and says, "To be fair, I never said I didn't enjoy it."

  • @Slider6294
    @Slider6294 7 років тому +15

    Checks traits. Jon: "He's a poor farmer. Julianus Vatinius has no time for farming, he's too busy being a goddamn Roman Superman!" BEST LINE EVER.

  • @adammccluskey4227
    @adammccluskey4227 7 років тому +75

    Ok so the comments section went from saying how we all love this game, to about how no one would get any sleep and now Romans??
    And yet throughout all of this there are still people who insist on being first to the comments...

    • @1967sluggy
      @1967sluggy 7 років тому +14

      Adam McCluskey I know, Jon's Reddit has really gone absolutely amazing since this series kicked off. And the romans everywhere, it's just awesome.

    • @dionysiosofbabylon7039
      @dionysiosofbabylon7039 7 років тому +22

      Some of us are Greeks! Or... well, Seleucians...

    • @zjotheglorious
      @zjotheglorious 4 роки тому

      @@dionysiosofbabylon7039 Seleucids?

  • @marcussmith7409
    @marcussmith7409 7 років тому +9

    31:25 eating popcorn while watching you inexplicably miss a force inches from your newly conquered city
    feelsgoodman.jpg

  • @throwaway588
    @throwaway588 7 років тому +125

    Oink #WarPigForSupremeGodEmperorOfTheGalaxy

    • @XRonor98
      @XRonor98 7 років тому +7

      Oh good! They're finally here.

    • @throwaway588
      @throwaway588 7 років тому +12

      Oink

    • @zamzamazawarma928
      @zamzamazawarma928 7 років тому +3

      Where's my lighter? No, don't look at me with those eyes.

    • @throwaway588
      @throwaway588 7 років тому +16

      Oink *intense staring*

    • @A_Person7307
      @A_Person7307 4 роки тому +1

      @@throwaway588 Your name shall be waddles or Wilber.Up to you.

  • @BiggySpidity
    @BiggySpidity 7 років тому +23

    Dear a manyatruenerd /Jon thank and this comes from everyone for how much effort you put into your videos and we all wish you had more subs from all of us thank you Jon 🌞

  • @elgato1721
    @elgato1721 7 років тому +32

    31:26 I don't know why, but I just like the idea of flooding Jerusalem with hundreds of war pigs.

  • @Tritonite5
    @Tritonite5 7 років тому +5

    Hi Jon, i love this series to death. You've turned a beautiful game into a riveting strategic drama work of art. In my opinion it rivals the best TV shows out there. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I leave comments on all your videos i watch to try to help get your videos recommended. You deserve more views and people should have the opportunity to experience your quality content. I promise to support you on patreon :)

  • @thehellkite
    @thehellkite 7 років тому +25

    Well, it looks the majority of the Egyptian leaders are Mummies now.
    They're just about all wrapped up.

  • @josheichholz1184
    @josheichholz1184 7 років тому +4

    I've heard that Chuck Norris watches Julianus Vatinius movies.

  • @brutiilegionair4018
    @brutiilegionair4018 7 років тому +6

    We the proud legionairs of the Brutii are proud to fight for the glory of the Brutii and Julianus Vatinius and wiping out the last of the Egyptian forces

  • @Compedemax
    @Compedemax 7 років тому +1

    My life now revolves around these videos, I've watched all 36 since sunday. Hail Julianus Vatinius!

  • @Clevery18
    @Clevery18 7 років тому +4

    "Julianus Vatinius has no time for farming, he is too busy being Goddamn Roman Superman" That is the Glorious Julianus Vatinius, our hero, our True Roman, our God!

    • @marcussmith7409
      @marcussmith7409 7 років тому +2

      You know George Washington and Abraham Lincoln were awful farmers too, maybe it's just something that comes with greatness.

  • @thstguy8023
    @thstguy8023 7 років тому +14

    MATN drinking game; take a shot at every "oh yes"

  • @marcusmaxentius1727
    @marcusmaxentius1727 7 років тому +109

    Friends, Romans, countrymen - heed my words! I am senator Marcus Maxentius, defender of the Republic and the true Roman ways! These Brutii are Roman in name only and not within the weak hearts that beat in their poorly formed chests! They harbour imperial ambitions. They wish for us to return to the time of the kings. They are no servant of the people who spread our customs and superiority to barbarian lands, they only seek to strengthen their coffers! Do not let them fool you before it is too late!

    • @weaselweasel6601
      @weaselweasel6601 7 років тому +24

      Marcus Maxentius What he said!

    • @bountyHG
      @bountyHG 7 років тому +14

      You disgust me, you pigheaded excuse for a roman senator. We all know that the senate is riddled with incompetence, The true way forward for Rome is in the hands of the infallible Julianus Vatinius and the Brutii's will, tenacity and might.

    • @bountyHG
      @bountyHG 7 років тому +7

      Precisely. At any rate, I would bet upon this senator having trouble creating heirs judging by his need for hair to compensate.

    • @marcusmaxentius1727
      @marcusmaxentius1727 7 років тому +19

      Hah! Bribes! Our spies have sent word of how you Brutii pay rebels who dare to stand up against Roman ways to join you - as family members no less! Instead of crushing these foes you welcome them with open arms to your bosom. Their dubious loyalty will not serve you well.

    • @CommissarMitch
      @CommissarMitch 7 років тому +5

      You guys are the best

  • @raulprima
    @raulprima 7 років тому +1

    First time ive been addicted to a youtube series in years. Good Job dude

  • @CommissarMitch
    @CommissarMitch 6 років тому +3

    31:20
    Still and counting the biggest Jon moment of all time.

  • @Burningrevolver
    @Burningrevolver 7 років тому

    Honestly my new favorite series on UA-cam.

  • @Fluffytacos234
    @Fluffytacos234 7 років тому +3

    Hello Many A True Nerd I just want you to know that I love your videos so plz keep it up thanks!

  • @jerec1267
    @jerec1267 7 років тому

    thank you for this
    I know these are pre planned but they are the only consistent bright spot of light in my life
    so cheers for that

  • @Verteran6
    @Verteran6 7 років тому

    I love how Jon loves JULIANUS VATINIUS so much he didn't notice the Egyptians completely outplay him 31:02

  • @spookylemon4947
    @spookylemon4947 7 років тому

    My favourite series right now.

  • @SheheenFans
    @SheheenFans 7 років тому

    Seeing the performance of the Eastern Mercenaries in the fort battle, is exactly why we need at least one single extra episode where Jon uses an army of only them.
    Hilarity.
    Will.
    Ensue.

  • @chrisb5005
    @chrisb5005 7 років тому +14

    War pig for faction heir!

    • @throwaway588
      @throwaway588 7 років тому +9

      -For Supreme God Emperor Of the Galaxy- oink

  • @mincemeatjones
    @mincemeatjones 7 років тому

    I don't have the time to watch right now, but i'm commenting because the episode titles for this series are fantastic

  • @simpletoncreations3928
    @simpletoncreations3928 7 років тому

    It really says something about how great Jons channel is when he's got over 5 thousand views and no dislikes so far

  • @aero2486
    @aero2486 7 років тому

    I am binge watching this. Oh Julianus Vitinius you are our savior

  • @Stellos812
    @Stellos812 7 років тому +1

    Rome Total War very stable!? Surprising since so many units can be placed on the battlefield at once.

  • @TheGhostbuster1989
    @TheGhostbuster1989 7 років тому +1

    Jon, have Julianus Vatinius Himself lead the siege of Rome and have him ride through its streets as its hero.

  • @honda6353
    @honda6353 7 років тому

    my goodness, reading the comments is the second best thing to watching this series, This is real entertainment if I ever saw some.
    10/10 would pun again.

  • @notbob9865
    @notbob9865 7 років тому +6

    Hi Jon, Thanks for making great videos!

  • @Doobs110
    @Doobs110 Місяць тому

    Hi Jon, wondering if you ever come check the comments of old series like this? Not commenting on this particular video for any specific reason I was just thinking about it as I watched.
    As a side note, this is probably my third watch of this entire series as it's something of a comfort watch for me for sure, almost like doing a watch through of a favorite tv show. Incredible work! I've been playing lots of Rome Remastered recently (Julii long campaign, Armenia long campaign, Sassanid Barbarian Invasion campaign, Alexander campaign [possibly the weakest of them all but an interesting departure from the standard Rome formula], and most recently a Greek long campaign where I knocked the Romans out incredibly early by just slaughtering their huge stack of generals with a tight bunch of hoplites!!) and I'm hoping that you could repeat this kind of series in the remaster! The mercenaries only challenge was interesting, but I'd really love to see a full normal playthrough!
    Looking forward to the Shogun 2 campaign, I've just done a Chosokabe campaign and a Hiraizumi Fujiwara campaign in rise of the samurai :P
    I tried some Attila again but I just cannot get into it. Not sure if it's just me!
    Thanks again for the great content.

  • @HellishSpoon
    @HellishSpoon 7 років тому +3

    but super man was raised in a farm.

  • @uupdown2
    @uupdown2 7 років тому +10

    Dammit Jon, you're not "firing" arrows, you're "loosing" them! you should know this! :D

    • @marcussmith7409
      @marcussmith7409 7 років тому +5

      I'll "loose" my foot up your ass if you don't take your historical nitpicky crap back to LindyBeige where it belongs.

    • @uupdown2
      @uupdown2 7 років тому +3

      oooh, you're a friendly one.

    • @marcussmith7409
      @marcussmith7409 7 років тому +2

      Eh I'd say I acted more like he came to my house, punched me in the stomach, and then shot my dog to be accurate.

  • @ledzeppelin27
    @ledzeppelin27 7 років тому

    Half the reason I love seeing a new Rome, Total War video is because it's MATN and it's going to be awesome. and the other half is to see the new Roman comments Especially the adventures of Julianus Vatinus, Roman Superman

  • @Freelancer4tehwin
    @Freelancer4tehwin 7 років тому +1

    Julianus Scapulus, also known as "Julianus the Feckless"...

  • @6rasta6bhoy6
    @6rasta6bhoy6 7 років тому

    BTW Jon, I'm not sure if you already know this or not but if you hold the alt key before ordering your troops to attack an enemy, it would force them to go melee even if they have some pila or other missiles on them. This is particularly useful for your Roman infantry especially when you're plugging gaps or taking breeches.

  • @MrSebbelonien
    @MrSebbelonien 7 років тому +24

    What episode is this series expected to end on? I feel like it will be fairly soon sadly :(

    • @ChevyChase301
      @ChevyChase301 7 років тому +3

      MrSebbelonien Jon knows we love and he enjoys playing so I bet he is gonna play a England play through after this one

    • @SkullCrabz
      @SkullCrabz 7 років тому +4

      Joey Angotti english in this looks boring but in medieval 2 it is quite a fun campaign

    • @jamestaylor9212
      @jamestaylor9212 7 років тому +3

      There will be new and exciting games played. Chin up sport!

    • @kylevickers4978
      @kylevickers4978 7 років тому +2

      he still has to turn on Rome itself and wage war on the other roman factions

    • @notimetoexpIain
      @notimetoexpIain 7 років тому +4

      I imagine it will end somewhere around EP 40-45. imo should be replaced with a Medieval 2 run, would be fun to keep a TW title atleast twice a week

  • @sojufresh9996
    @sojufresh9996 7 років тому

    so addicted to this series :)

  • @atlasbugged6731
    @atlasbugged6731 7 років тому

    The one and only failing of Julianus Vatinius, doesn't fancy pulling up some potatoes.

  • @AmandaDavis6130
    @AmandaDavis6130 7 років тому +2

    You say Valerius the Killer is getting old, but wasn't Corvo Attano about 54 in Dishonored 2? I suppose the teleporting makes up for any aching knees.

    • @AmandaDavis6130
      @AmandaDavis6130 7 років тому +1

      Or maybe it's a gift from the Outsider, along with the ability to eat his weight in tinned whale meat without making himself sick/becoming fat.

  • @periandrosofantigonela5885
    @periandrosofantigonela5885 7 років тому +1

    Hello? Are we still at war? Oh well, I care not for such trifles. Bring me more gold!

  • @verb8892
    @verb8892 7 років тому

    Now for your Rome total pun...... I ran out of them oh great Brutti I pray that you have puns as well as a fabulously bold leader

    • @tiberiusbrutus942
      @tiberiusbrutus942 7 років тому

      For the last time, "Brutii" is spelled with one "t" and two "i"s! Come on!

    • @HoJu1989
      @HoJu1989 7 років тому

      Actually, in correct Latin is Bruti, with a single i.

    • @throwaway588
      @throwaway588 7 років тому +1

      -change it to "The pig pen's den"- oink

    • @verb8892
      @verb8892 7 років тому

      Julianus Vatinius you grace our presence as your bold head shines as bright as the sun guiding us through the darkness the candle of hope. We are grateful for the man the myth the legend who is Julianus Vatinius.

  • @sp0ckz0mbi3
    @sp0ckz0mbi3 7 років тому +1

    Best part of the day.

  • @francisbayani
    @francisbayani 7 років тому +20

    i wanna see jon play seleucid hahaha

    • @dionysiosofbabylon7039
      @dionysiosofbabylon7039 7 років тому +7

      This is a man of sense! (Future) Glory to Seleucia!

    • @manusbarbatus7509
      @manusbarbatus7509 7 років тому

      Why not the Scythains? Selecuids aren't that hard

    • @francisbayani
      @francisbayani 7 років тому

      eww barbs suck plus they get good missile units. of course we could request him to immediately declare war against egypt pontus armenia parth and greece to make it challenging.

    • @Maladictem
      @Maladictem 7 років тому +1

      Manus Barbatus I've played the Scythians. The battles get really samey. Dance around them with horse archers until they are nearly all dead, then charge to finish them off. I think the battle would get boring if he did a series with them.

    • @francisbayani
      @francisbayani 7 років тому

      Maladictem knows whats up haha... seleucid is a pain in the ass to play early. militia hoplites suck balls they can break before chariots even touch them... they cant run around after skirmishers and the recruitable merc, eastern infantry, suck. also, you only really get passable cav and archers at level 3 settlement. there's a reason seleucid gets wiped out early lol

  • @sircarrot5070
    @sircarrot5070 7 років тому

    Ive been playing Rome Total War since back in 05 and i actually had no idea that the game could crash... and ive played it far longer than any other game at least 10hours a week every week since then

  • @Narmatonia
    @Narmatonia 6 років тому

    I fought in a sally battle when besieging Athens and it was child's play, while they were getting through the gates I just ran off and hid on top of a giant mountainside next to the city and they couldn't even get close

  • @captkuso
    @captkuso 7 років тому +2

    Can the effects of a character's retinue be stacked? So could you say transfer 6 tax farmers to one character and get a crazy income bonus?

  • @Gilhelmi
    @Gilhelmi 7 років тому

    I tried fighting the skippei in the large desert past Swia.
    5 full stack armies and 3 generals defeated over ten thousand of them, but were so weakened I had to retreat. The battles lasted for 20 years. Never attack from that desert. (takes 3 years/six turns just to cross on foot)

  • @juliuszondag5515
    @juliuszondag5515 7 років тому

    You almost left Jerusalem unguarded, that could have been messy!

  • @rileyledyard4350
    @rileyledyard4350 7 років тому

    led by players, chariots must be a goddamn nightmare force

  • @Verteran6
    @Verteran6 7 років тому +5

    Hey Jon are you going to make a super elite army? Gold urban cohorts and the like

  • @adammackintosh430
    @adammackintosh430 7 років тому +6

    Please Jon stop charging chariots with cavalry please

  • @134Waffle
    @134Waffle 7 років тому +22

    I'm putting doing my line of cocaine on hold for now, this is more addicting.

  • @ИосифСталин-ю4и
    @ИосифСталин-ю4и 7 років тому

    2 Of my favorite strategists :TW Mala HD,Many a True Nerd!
    Also im subscribed to both!

  • @quanahpalmer9503
    @quanahpalmer9503 7 років тому

    God I love this series.

  • @jaredcicero3449
    @jaredcicero3449 7 років тому

    Jon just as you went to attack that Pharoah and you did not see where he went back to Jerusalem

  • @ydela1961
    @ydela1961 7 років тому

    About what you said in the beginning: Egyptian going broke.
    This is almost impossible for an AI when you play VH campaign difficulty level. At VH, each AI faction receives +10,000 denarii free per turn. The 2 stacks you pointed out in the beginning surely need less than that in maintenance.
    This 10,000 denarii bonus is also the reason why blockading AI ports is only a drop in the ocean. You cannot really wage economical warfare against AI when playing VH difficulty level.
    The only warfare you can wage against the AI is the attrition one. With all the money they get, they can empty their cities from all their inhabitant. And that is what the Egyptian did, that is why he cannot produce any more troop.
    And that is also why I try to avoid playing with huge units: after a while, the AI has sucked his towns dry from their inhabitants. All he can throw at me are mercenaries and the game becomes too easy. The only cities that survives are those with a growth high enough to compensate for the unit production. Barbarian factions are terrible on this problem: all their towns and villages end up empty. My advice: if you want to play VH campaign, play large instead of huge unit size, it is less unfair toward the AI.

  • @setso1
    @setso1 7 років тому +1

    7:42 "pretty clean" Um Jon, why are your archers broken?

  • @newportnelson
    @newportnelson 5 років тому +1

    Lovely
    Marvelous

  • @TheLonelyBrit
    @TheLonelyBrit 7 років тому +1

    It took me until 9:33 for me to get the pun from the title... Sometimes I'm not a smart man...

    • @TheLonelyBrit
      @TheLonelyBrit 3 роки тому

      This time it only took me a minute or so. My two brain cells collided & did their job.

  • @bcm8984
    @bcm8984 4 роки тому

    Julianus ventullius has no time for farming!

  • @jhavenieoncarlgraycochea9447
    @jhavenieoncarlgraycochea9447 7 років тому +1

    Aye, True to Julianus Vatinius

  • @jachthejoke3589
    @jachthejoke3589 7 років тому +2

    I'm really loving these True Romans commenting

  • @davidg8117
    @davidg8117 5 років тому

    It’s like the prisoner’s dilemma

  • @aidenmccafferty7198
    @aidenmccafferty7198 7 років тому

    I think that your best option would to have a pretty good army in the town that sits on top of siwa because if the skipyi want to take siwa then there forces will have taken damage and you can mop them up. On the other hand if they take the town to the north of siwa then you take siwa and hold there.

  • @ryanurchful
    @ryanurchful 7 років тому

    AAAAY Sylvanus ^-^ the most batshit crazy diety there is. Turned a man into a tree because Sylvanus accidentally killed his pet deer. Here's hoping Mister SIL-vanus will avoid such tragedies when he is a man grown.

  • @emmy9345
    @emmy9345 7 років тому

    someone needs to teach john how to say 'persue'

  • @szabolcskis9812
    @szabolcskis9812 7 років тому +2

    Roma victrix my friends!

  • @ZefVolk
    @ZefVolk 7 років тому

    Long live the Vatinius Empire.

  • @exantiuse497
    @exantiuse497 6 років тому

    I continue to be amazed at the shittiness of the AI. The Egyptian settlements have the best growth rate in the world, it's entirely possible to have only large and huge cities at that point of the campaign, do how the hell can the AI have large TOWNS instead? You'd need to either have your settlements constantly enslaved or exterminated, or intentionally sabotage them to prevent them from growing to keep them at large town level for so long. Since those towns are in the Egyptian heartlands I doubt it's the former, which means unimaginably horrible management akin to intentional self-sabotage is the only option

  • @markhayes3523
    @markhayes3523 7 років тому

    I suggest that you send the new model army to trion so when the civil war starts you have an army ready to take rome

  • @selder_7
    @selder_7 7 років тому

    The way I like to take on Rome is I have 5 massive armies at the ready: 3 take Rome while the other two take the capitals of the other two houses and then two of the armies in Rome go to help take the second starter city of the houses and then I have all of Italy and I just hold them off and push them further and further out

  • @Alltaer
    @Alltaer 7 років тому +3

    Am I the only person in this comment section who wants to see full stack army of dogs ?

    • @zachantes1161
      @zachantes1161 7 років тому +1

      Jan Alltaer Dogs aren't that good, a full army if dogs will lose to any decent army.

    • @Alltaer
      @Alltaer 7 років тому +3

      I've never mentioned anything about winning, I just said I wanna see it

  • @mathieugariepy2948
    @mathieugariepy2948 7 років тому

    Before taking on the Romans, you should take care of the Armenians and the Parthians, either by conquering them or making allies if them. This will secure your eastern flank. You should also be friends with the Sythians to the north.

  • @saraphilosophizes
    @saraphilosophizes 7 років тому +7

    If the episode where you attack the other Romans is not called "Et tu Brute?" I might have to unsubscribe.

  • @UncannySwan
    @UncannySwan 7 років тому +3

    This is so difficult to watch after seeing people playing on Very Hard routing full stack armies with 3 units of Equites. Watching just for the voice and the "Oh yes, *Julianus*"

  • @patrickrogan8100
    @patrickrogan8100 7 років тому

    I'm not sure the AI can go into debt. At least from what I know of Medieval 2, and the two both have very similar engines/hard coded limits. I'm pretty sure they just reach 500 denarii and stay there indefinitely.

  • @HeisenStark13
    @HeisenStark13 3 роки тому

    How did they say 'fire at will' before gunpowder?

  • @zubirhusein
    @zubirhusein 7 років тому

    I love how you don't comment on those chariots killing their own men lol

  • @dissapointinglyshort3772
    @dissapointinglyshort3772 7 років тому +1

    I got Rome: Total war because of Jon, and I'm so disappointed! Not because its a bad game, but because I'm bad. Jon's game is so tactical, flanking the enemy and drawing up good defensive lines. My game? I let my general charge without any backup and let half of my army die. I'm a great commander, I think I may just continue watching Jon instead.

    • @kalmahcarl
      @kalmahcarl 7 років тому

      As a general rule of thumb for TW, your army should consist primarily of three components: Infantry that form the centre and the reserves, cavalry which provide rapid response and flanking attacks and missile troops that whittle down key targets and soften the enemy up.
      One tactic that should always work is the hammer and anvil; use your infantry to engage their frontline and pin it in place, while you flank your cavalry behind and attack the pinned opponents from the rear. Repeatedly charging your cavalry should eventually break the enemy troops and make them flee.
      TW can be a bit hard to get the grip of at first, but once you've played around and learned some basic tactics you'll be able to experiment a little more, find a playstyle that suits you and come up with creative ways to engage the enemy. Hope it helps, and good luck in the future!

  • @ikbeniemnd
    @ikbeniemnd 7 років тому

    Your stratagy for total known world domination: You fight on 3 flanks 1st. 1 in africa against the scipii, one in patavium against the julii and one in Italy against both and the senate. The italian army can merge with the patavium army when it has proceeded to take Italy. Meanwhile the African army has taken africa puting pressure on spain, while you still push into gaul. Total annilalation assured :)

  • @benjaminmiddaugh2729
    @benjaminmiddaugh2729 7 років тому

    We have Spurious Victor now! Too bad the future of the Julii lies elsewhere...

  • @austinshearer9184
    @austinshearer9184 7 років тому

    Jon, will you ever do a Rome II playthrough? Love the total war series in general, especially RTW Would love to see more of you playing total war franchise!

    • @marcussmith7409
      @marcussmith7409 7 років тому +1

      I wouldn't hold your breath a lot of his commentary in vids talk about how later Total War games are inferior including RTW II. I'd be happy to be wrong considering how popular this series has gotten, but it does seem unlikely.

  • @khorps4756
    @khorps4756 7 років тому

    21:40 equites also meant wealthy person in latin. so technically being defeated by equites is not something to laugh at

  • @justsumguy6700
    @justsumguy6700 7 років тому +3

    Who else just listens to the vid while reading the comments?

  • @ikbeniemnd
    @ikbeniemnd 7 років тому

    I thought that the faction heir retreated into Jeruzalem because it had no garrison xD

  • @defies4626
    @defies4626 7 років тому

    Pig, pig, piggy pig, all the burny pigs! Let 'em loose, burn it all down, set the bacon on the run!

    • @throwaway588
      @throwaway588 7 років тому +2

      -What did you just foking say?!!!?- OOOOOOINKK!!

  • @Buzz.Lightskin
    @Buzz.Lightskin 7 років тому +2

    Hey guys! I've recently picked this game up, but I'm a little lost... Any advice for a newbie? (Jon has inspired me to play as the Brutii if that helps any lol)

    • @marcussmith7409
      @marcussmith7409 7 років тому +2

      Jon goes into details about micromanaging around the beginning of this series. You can learn how to read income and growth city stats, increase populations for nearby conquered cities and other tips you might not be privvy too. So if you haven't checking out the first few parts should help.

    • @ojdcreative3849
      @ojdcreative3849 5 років тому

      It helps to play the game a few times first to get a feel of how it plays, then when you are happy with it, you can do things like Jon does to keep your empire going as long as this. I used to play this game back in 2005 when i was 6 and have went played for a while since i stoped a while ago but would definitely play again if i had the chance

  • @Noah-pc6wq
    @Noah-pc6wq 7 років тому

    Hey Jon, after this play through, would you be interested in conquering as one of the barbarian factions, and if so, which one?

  • @berkayaydn8154
    @berkayaydn8154 7 років тому

    Jon we want more game turns for episode mate

  • @dillonhonore3579
    @dillonhonore3579 7 років тому

    I wonder what Spurius Scapula's plan's are now. Also, I wonder how Romans learned to use computers and discovered UA-cam.