Introducing The Biden Bible Translation
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- Опубліковано 1 чер 2024
- Zondervan announced today a new Joe Biden Version of the Scriptures, translated into Biden's native tongue. Here are the top verses.
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#bible #christian #biden #comedy - Комедії
"Blessed are the poor in spirit...because poor kids are just as bright as white kids!" 😁
😂
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Lol! They should definitely add that into the video.
Solid! Best comment so far! 😂
And he sniffed her hair, and it was good.
HA!
🤣🤮🤣
😂😂😂😂😂
😂💀
pussy hair I hope
The tombs also were opened. And many bodies of those who had fallen asleep were raised - to vote to save democracy.
Not every body, Joe is still asleep.
Too funny
Nice 😄
👍🏻
Winner!
Do not let the little children come to him…
I'm dyin'!!!lol
And most importantly, don't let him come onto the little children.
Because your kids will get sniffed and feel very awkward.
AMEN on that one!
Sounds like lefties when they count anything lol. Them people at the maga thing their were like 79 trillion, and 59 thousands cow farts will end that night because that's like times two equals 4000 ca drillion farts in one night. Yup. Now it's off to my tiny apartment with 12 other people, 1 bedroom, 1 half bath, 19 cats.
"No man should lay with another Man, unless I need votes..."
It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house without ice cream and firing prosecutors in other countries by withholding money without the authority...
this one should have been in there hahah
@@SweatyFatGuy IS IT nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortunes, given to Ukraine...?
IS IT REALLY NOBLER, or does nobility REQUIRE that one SELF PRESERVE lest their spiritual life force be relinquished and therefore no longer able to nobilify!?
I for one feel like no noble giving free money to Ukraine and I do think self preservation in the name of nobility later is exactly how a noble mind should work, because nobility is an ongoing process that can only be achieved by those noble enough to possess it and those numbers are currently fractured beyond sensical math, the noble has to reserve his or her nobility and focus on duty!
And now you can truly see the true meaning of why nobles even existed in the first place, Noble's weren't just ravenous fiefdom lords, they had books to balance and it was an artistic dance to balance said books!
@@CriminalonCrime I get your drift.
Noblelity and virtue were things ruminated on by both Christians and none Christians. Phillipians 4:8, 2Peter 1:3,5
Unless he's the secretary of TRANS-portation 🤣
"Herod was a Bad Dude... And, he ran a bunch of Bad Boys."
AKA: Corn Pop
I read this with my poor man's Biden voice. Too funny. I would also add...Love thy neighbor, and apologize for calling him Esther (Williams).
ashes to ashes dust to dust, and though I lay thee into the ground know that thy vote will forever be cast in favour of the democrats.
These comments are priceless as well!! Great job everyone. And the Bee of course.
These comments are better than what the Bee came up with.
Comments are gold
"A tenth of your money to Ukraine" killed
Isn't it hilarious how they have Biden holding the Bible upside down for a photo opp, where in reality of course it was Trump who did that?
"and the jailer said, what must i do to be saved? and paul and silas said to him, just get vaccinated, man!"
- acts 16 something
Only satan people got the jab. Fearmunster. Is what China joe jobcommunist party do. Damn globalist
:31
You and thine whole household
And the jailer fell on his knees and asked where the closest Walgreens was...at
you are a fool
“Thanks to Operation Warp Speed, we developed a vaccine in just nine months. We've already begun a nationwide vaccination program, and we're sending the vaccine all over the world. The world will benefit, we'll benefit, and everybody's calling to thank ME!!!! …we can never let people forget where it came from and how it came.”
Donald J. Trump 12-31-20
"Render unto Corn Pop the things that are Corn Pop's"
"And unto the Big Guy the things that are the Big Guy's"
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
He was a bad dude.
And He ran with a lot of bad Scribes...
🌽🍿🌽🍿🌽🍿🌽🍿
Genisis 3:11- And God said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Joe: "Twas was my daughter whilst we took shower together".
“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for everybody knows I like kids more than people”. Matthew 19:14
I lost it when he said “end of quote, repeat the line” 😂
He Read That from the Teleprompter, word for word. What a Numb Nutz!
He’s actually done stuff like that
He has actually done that in his response to the overturning of Roe.
I lost it when he said, “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the Earth, believe me I was there. I used to drive an 18 wheeler through the garden of Eden.”😂😂😂😂😂
@@Joe-uw5rvDidn’t he do that in a state of the union? All I know is I’ve heard him do that in real time and I was like 🤨🤔😫
“Then locusts came out of the smoke… so I learned about roaches”- Revelation 9:3 JBT
❤🎉😂
My old man is 74. I sent him this and he sent back;
"Son if I ever get like that there is a quiet patch of woods about two miles from here, and a .38 in a drawer in the kitchen. You know what to do".
I love my old man. 😂
This comment for the win.
I do, too! He must have been a lot of fun to grow up with.
This is my husband everyday 😅
Your dad is great. ❤ My dad is the same age. If he starts to get like this, we will make sure he runs for the Senate.
HA !!!!!!!
"I am the Way, the Truth and the Facts. And we believe Truth over Facts."
And it was said unto the people, belive the science man! Just get the vaccine and it's all good oh, and if thou art vaccinated thou shelter not spread the covid unto thy brother!😂
That was AOC but close enough
@@jerrys1umm unless AOC wrote bidens script.. or joe was just quoting her.. Biden actually said it tho. Did he plagiarize it? It’s kinda his thing so most likely
I’m sure she would be an apostle in his book. 😏
@@jerrys1 Bidens was facts over truth...
And Moses said to Hamas.. Let the hostages go.. But Hamas heart was hardened... 🤔
And Moses said to Netanyahuand the idf .
Your dreams will be terrorized by the crying and agony of the innocent women, children and elderly you have murdered .
Underrated comment
@@maxmurphy7306And Moses said to everyone, Hamas and Netanyahu are both war criminals
I would never forget when the gulf of Mexico split in two, and the Israelites had a come-to-Jesus moment.
I think Biden parted the Gulf Coast.
Jesus was temped by the Devil and also known as Corn Pop.
😂😂😂😂 Love it!!!
Yes, Biden's parting of the Gulf of Mexico in order to bring the Israelites out of Mexico to the promised lands of Chicago, New York, and Martha's vineyard really brings a tear to ones eye..
Your picture made me die laughing 😂
The women were wondering, "Who will roll away the stone - from the entrance to the basement. For he has been in there three weeks leading up to the election. And he will stinketh!"
The Roger Stone?
"And before leaving the man's body the demon said: C'mon, man! I just want some ice cream!" Acts of Brandon 6:66
Joe Biden, come forth!
Jesus wept.
I forgot to add “He stinketh.”
Jesus wept. Not a joke.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
God so loved the world he gave His only begotten Son, and I know how he feels, having lost my son Beau who died on the cross and was swallowed by the whale for three days.
🤣🤣🤣
"...and got the Bronze Star. Of David."
🤣🤣🤣
Dude this was genius
In combat while he was healing the sick and feeding the needy.
As a Jew I’m very thankful to g d for taking my ancestors out of Mexico and opening the Atlantic Ocean for us on our way to the holy land.
I bet those Aztecs were thinking to themselves : This situation can be described in a single world : afeaffefafufuscuse-me foothills of the Himalayas
You guys did great, because that is a long walk and the bottom would likely still have been muddy. So how many burritos does it take to walk across the Atlantic?
There are no burritos in the land of blood and ash.
You'll be back to Mexico soon.
@@josiahgibbs5697😂😂😂😂
@@josiahgibbs5697
I’m not sure g d probably know he was responsible for the food supply that fell from the sky
I'm in tears because I can't stop laughing. The video is great but the comments are epic. We need to continue this with some of the comments. God bless y'all.
The “not forgive their trespasses or you aint black” line had me rolling 🤣
LOL me too. The whole time I was waiting to see how they would incorporate "or you aint black" because that one HAD to be in here.
And the seventh angel poured out his vial into the air and there came a great voice saying, "my butt's been wiped!"
😂🤣😁
michaelvandegiste3497
Babylon Bee had an amazing video here, but you just topped them with that. 🤣
I'm still cracking up over your comment! Have a "TRUEINTERNATIONOFADEPRESSURE!" day.
@@TheNewsInASL listen, fat!!! Thank you for the compliment and I am glad that I could put a smile on your face today 😊 Now go get some of your favorite ice cream, but make sure you don't fall off your bike or stumble on those tricky stairs!!!
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
That’s what Trump needed a good butt wipe maybe he wouldn’t smell so bad or have toilet paper stuck to his shoes as he boards air force 1 smh
Every morning, I love to drink my coffee and read my Biden Bible. There's so much knowledge, and man, I just love reading the book of Palms.
I find the palms a little too greased for my taste ;)
🤚🏼 🖐🏼
And Moses said to his people , they shall not steal , they shall not kill and they shall not lie , except for the politicians , they have qualified immunity !
Give a tenth of your money to Ukraine
Do not forget The Big Guy and Hunter is the smartest human on Earth 🌎 sayeth Beijing Biden!!!
🤣
@@oogiev2Zho Baiding
mikegraves6070
"Bring your tithe into the Ukraine house."
I wish it was only a tenth.
Where "10% for the big guy" has a completely different meaning.
Very nice. Lots of clever ones on this, but I like yours the best.
Excuse me - it's called a tithe ...
Genesis 14 :20 Abram gave a tenth of all he had to the big guy
Thanks! @@josiahgibbs5697
Ha, best comment!
I raced Moses in my Corvette. He came fourth in his Triumph.
how did you fit a motorcycle into a car?
@@bigolbearthejammydodger6527 Triumph cars a bit before your time, Eh?
@@rolandoscar1696 guess so, my first motor was a ford escort, im not young but i did only know triumph as a motor bike firm.
I know first hand what the flames of hell are like after almost losing my corvette when my frying pan caught fire good thing my roof was blue
OMG! The blue roof!! Amazing!
....... thoughts and prayers go out to all pregnant men🦄🤣🤣
😂
So, are they virgin pregnancies? Asking for a friend.
@@samuelschick8813No, but a Virgin was Sacrificed to the Devil......
🫃
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Spot on!! PLEASE make a part 2!! I’m in tears! 😂😂😂
I agree! I want more!!!
This is comedy gold. Huge fan of the Babylon Bee all the way from Ethiopia.❤
Wow!! Greetings and prayers to Ethiopia from DC!!
"In the beginning was the word, and the word was.. the word was.. what is the word?"
nonyabusiness9747
"The word was... the word was... TRUEINTERNATIONOFADEPRESSURE!"
Oh!, you know the thing!!
You know the thing.
@@TheNewsInASL LOL!
That Bird is the word
As a Christian, I'm bending over laughing. But I didn't know the Bee was doing straight news these days.
So whatcha think? Better than the mormon Bible?
As another Christian, absolute facts
😂
He said I was there at the garden of eden!!!!
#thelordsaidlikeandclickthebell
Their straight up news is always so gay!
i had tough week. i saw Biden Bible and i laughed. Thank you Joe. Then i read the comments and howled and howled. So many religious and awesome people Thank you!
This was full of so many gems. The part about him driving an 18 wheeler through the Garden of Eden really made me laugh out loud!!
The art of humor now exceeds the value of science. Thanks be to the Bee for offering truth in a new wrapper.
😆😅😂
"god is timeless, he has no beginning nor end, he has always existed and there was no time where god didn't exist. trust me, i'm his older brother" -brandon
😅😊👍✌️🥰
Matthew 5:44
King James Version
44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
and that's no joke!!
The video was hilarious and the comments were icing on the cake.😂
Moses was so constipated, God gave him two tablets, and told him to head for the hills. And he returned on the fifth day, and said "My butt's been wiped."
I've always wanted to hear him reconcile being Catholic and pro abortion.
He ain't a Catholic. Nancy and he sold their souls when they entered congress.
Rocket. There is no "reconciliation" for a Catholic being proabortion. Canon Law removes him from the Church and Body of Christ. Biden is no longer a Christian.
He is no longer Catholic.
@@marccrotty8447 oh yes he is.
@@TheresaPowers Biden and other public figures who use their office to promote evil are "self excommunicated" from the Body of Christ.
The sad part is he probably does actually think he drove an 18 wheeler though the garden of Eden.
Nah, he remembers how he would drive the Corvette in the Garden’s driveway. At the end of the driveway, he would rev the engine, vroom!
He was the snake that made them eat the fruit! That one I'd believe!
@@petermadany2779 More like drive it into it's gateway and blame it on the garden...😂
@@venator-fb7yy Or claim that Dr. Jill is Eve's sister's wife. No joke!
And TRUMP just said Biden beat Obama in 2020. Then he said have you ever heard of OBAMA?
That's an awesome blessing for a merry heart. I needed that laugh in my deep depression. Thanks!
"And Noah got off the ark, and he called Kamala to say 'We did it Joe'"
Goats are like mushrooms. Because when you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters.
And when I drop the Toast it always lands Butter Side Down
Coincidence, 🤔 I think not!
@@NRDavis-wl8vn And when I drop a cake, it always lands frosting side down, so definitely not a coincidence.
@@ladymacbethofmtensk896
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
@@2and4the1 Joe Biden must have written those lyrics.
Ending that quote with toddlers instead of toasters would have been much funnier 😂
I could see Biden being blasphemous and senile at the same time.
Where there's a way, there's a will, no... wait a minute. Where Will's way there is uh, well, anyway.
He is.
Biden is Blasphilusnemous. He poses an exilstensis threat to all that is normal.
@@SweetMamaG OH!, you know the thing.
Joe seems like the last survivor of the Tower of Babel. 😵💫
“And G_d said ‘Let there be Light’ and there was Light, and it was Good. Clap for that, you stupid bastards!…”
Hilarious ... I can add one: "Do to others as the government would do to you".
"I am the way, the truth and the life. No man cometh unto Obama but by me" John 14:6
Best comment
@@collinlynch4569😂 thanks
@@collinlynch4569😂 Thanks
Delete this comment. This is blasphemy of our Lord. Repent.
@Lucas-tt9dt ??? This is hilarious, and I'm a devout Christian.
Thus Saith The Thing!!!!!
All instances of YHWH/JEHOVAH/the LORD are just replaced with the THING
🤣🤣🤣
..Anyway
Never have the scriptures become so real to me. I am almost in tears Thank you Babylon Bee for bringing us this much needed update on God's word.
😂
"And the Lord said, let there be ice cream, and there was ice cream... chocolate chocolate chip ice... what?"
"Listen, Fat"
Probably one of the most powerful quotes of humankind
😂😂😂😂
This was the only one I didn’t get. What it in reference to?
@@jumpboy2345 ua-cam.com/video/fbEJpr4A9mQ/v-deo.htmlsi=_q1V6e8l4QCN1E3p
@jumpboy2345 Specifically, he says, "Look, Fat, look." In reference to the man.
@@danielkurtz3045 I thought it was something he said irl
The best thing EVER!!! I’m in tears, the “ you ain’t black” verse was killer! BB left its stinger with this one! Excellent!
That was a good one!!!
“And the Trump, that old republican that…that…you know…the thing, was cast into the lake of my purchas…I mean loyal voters, and then we all went out for ice cream. End of last line, exit from podium” - Biden 81:24
When he said that he drove an 18 wheeler through the Garden of Eden, I nearly fell on the floor laughing. We all know that Joe has managed to participate in just about every major event since the beginning of time 😂🤣😁
And God said to Noah, I want you to build an ark, because it's time to hit the road, Jack.
Joe has a flood of illegals.
Deuteronomy 4:2
King James Version
2 Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the Lord your God which I command you.
LMAO 🤣 If Biden was a preacher this is exactly how'd he sound 😂
When they passed around the collection plate, automatic 10% off the top for the "Big Guy." 😆
No, because he sounds normal and articulate here up to the botched phrase.
This deserves one billion million hundred thousand views❤
Thanks…now I have coffee all over my keyboard and screen
it's worth it though 😆
"And his number was" 60 billion to Ukraine.
"And Absalom was a bad dude and he ran with a lot of bad dudes!"
🤣🤣🤣
“And the Lord saith unto him, ‘Hush up, boy’.”
😆😆😆😆 oh man, truly a masterpiece here. Put this in book form, put it on your merch purchases and I’ll buy it!!! This was so damn hilarious 😂 😂😂😂
Me too!!!🤣
Wow… these guys are geniuses. There isn’t another channel out that that can make me laugh so hard my sides hurt on EVERY SINGLE ONE of their videos… keep up the amazing work
😂 funny, but so really sad for all of us, because it's spot on 🎯😉
Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and you SHALL BE....UH... under investigation by my Alphabet Private Police.... A-Men & A-Woman
Oh my goodness, that A-men and A-woman needs to be at the end of every BB translation video so we never forget that there actually was a person so dimwitted and committed to the woke quackery as to have actually said that once.
That was absolutely hysterical!!!!
I have never been so deeply moved by the Scriptures. I still have my head over the toilet bowl.
🤣
You guys never miss one this is pure gold entertainment.
Yes, we absolutely should bring Yahweh's chosen people out of Mexico. Wiser words were never mumbled.
They are already coming out of Mexico... and pouring into the USA.
You have to admit Joe got the correct planet, just a pity he got the continent wrong.
And from Pakistan, Somalia, Iran, China...
@@TheRealYaro But maybe the Atlantic could be parted so that they ended up in Africa. God has a lot of options there.
It's mind-blowing that there are still people who support biden.
People who manufacture adult diapers, pudding cups, and training wheels…why vote against your own interests?
They just don't want to be wrong
My dad is one of them. Though it’s really because he despises Trump. Even though if Trump was actually guilty of anything they had EIGHT years to find proof of it🙄.
“Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the Lord your God which I command you.” (Deut. 4:2.)
I am kind of coming to peace realizing the bee is the only accurate news source at this point.
THEY PUT LISTEN FAT IN THERE! It is my favorite of all the Biden lines.
And God said, “Come on, man”, and the evening and the morning were the tenth day.
I’ve never given a YT thanks- but this is AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Best to donate to them directly outside of YT because YT keeps over 30% of your donation
"And they say unto him, we have here but five loaves and two fish. And Joe said, bring them hither to me. And suddenly there was a stack of spaghetti sauce on a forklift. What happened?"
Scary and true. He's a charlatan. He actually said that abortion in a God given right.
Texas. His dementia eliminates filters and has him "speaking from the heart." He believes that killing preborn babies is good. He has removed himself from the Catholic Faith.
Joey wrote his ticket to hell with that comment
@@EvelynKnuthno one is beyond redemption. Pray for him. We have to love our enemies too.
@@zacharyahearn4069 Absolutely. I do pray for biden's salvation. Don't want to see anyone going to hell.
But I also pray he pays for his evil corruption on this side of the grave. Maybe if he feels the heat of law enforcement, he might move closer to the Lord.
Prayer for the departed: “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust….if the Lord don’t take you, the Devil must.”
I’ve always been fond of “Dogface Pony Soldier.”😂
And I didn't think anyone was able to get all his mis-spoken words down before they evaporated! Wow, thank goodness for the Babylon Bee!
Matthew 4:10 "Then Jesus said to him, “Away with you, Corn Pop! Corn Pop's a bad dude."
“And God told Noah “ Now go build an air craft carrier!”
OMG I needed that laugh thank you BB XX😂❤️🔥
You guys are Really good at finding things, God Bless you 🙏.
“You knows, the thing…”
- Sloppy Joe 🤡🇺🇸🤡
Bought two Bibles today. Guess I'm now on some list somewhere
Paula, Yeah you just put yourself on their blacklist. You also didn't happen to buy anything from Bass Pro Shops or Cabella's did you?! 😳
Oh, you forgot how he parted the Red Sea with his infrastruction plan!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!
That “sour” reel to reel music in the background was so perfect!! Kind of wobbly and aged, just like him!
Kinda figured Uncle Sniffy drove the produce truck in the Garden of Eden
... While Wilbur Cobb was running down the dinosaurs in his truck!
@@Pygar2 And also while Julius Caesar was driving his Ford Model-T to McDonald's. Joe Biden's reaction to seeing a Ford Model-T was just like a 100-year-old's reaction to seeing a Tesla.
He was the one there who tripped and had to crawl henceforth "on his belly".
Oh my gosh!!’ This is so awesome and “biden-accurate”😂😂😂😂
Hilarious!!! Thank you, I needed that!
Wow LMAO y’all just keep the hits coming. TY
That old serpent corn pop was a bad dude
New International Biden version...
THE NEW KING BIDEN VERSION
@@user-zc5qy2sr1c The Revised Biden Version.
corrupt version.
The Beijing version (isn't China re-writing the Bible as we speak?)
Good for a laughs so still better
This has to be the greatest thing Iv'e seen in a very long time...
“whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved, so I said c'mon man save me."