Woke Jesus
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- Опубліковано 7 лют 2025
- Want proof that Jesus was a woke socialist? Look no further than these classic quotes straight from the Bible.
Get your copy of 'Woke Jesus' today and defend your faith against progressive ideology: lucasmiles.org...
#comedy #bible #woke #jesus #christian #methodist #unitedmethodist
And they said unto him, "Lord, how many times should we be vaccinated? Seven times?" And he answered them "Nay, but rather seventy times seven."
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Golden!
Why are you guys so against getting vaccinated? I'm not an American, just curious. We're totally cool with it here in Asia.
If I had a dollar for every gender today , I’d have 2 dollars and a bunch of counterfeits.
That's some funny $hit right there!! 🤣🤣 I'm stealing that.
Spot on🤣
$1.75
@@braydenotto9757 Inflation....
If i had a dollar for every gender I'd have 8...
Quarters
He forgot "Blessed are the Democrats for they will not be prosecuted."
good one :)
Oh Yes, this is so true. Thou shall not prosecute thy Democrats.
What ever that comes out of their mouth, ( even if it's AOC) it is the truth.
You're right. Babylon Bee needs to be working on parts 2 and 3
Boy ain't that the truth!
😂
"Lazarus will live again ... With this mail-in ballot."
So true.
Rarely LOL but that was good.
The dead shall vote forever.
😆😆😆😆😆😆
🤣🤣🤣
Oh yes of course. So true, because you understand truth so well. OMG! 40 plus and alone?
"The man went away sad, for he was very white"
Poor guy😂😂😂
That one made me laugh also. This is the end my friend. Come Lord Jesus, come.
Totally true today.
Culturally tho...
Yeah what a loser he was. Kinda skinny and pale skin. We call them " pale face" or "white people" whichever you're more comfortable with.
Especially because this is actually happening. You know food shelves now turn away white hungry people, right?
Only half of Americans realize this is a satire.
hah! probably more like 40%
I bet the Shrekgender don't know.
I would be tempted to send it to an old friend of my mother's, but she would think it's real and part of her "Social Gospel" church material...
Actually 85% of Hollyweird, 50% of the government and 65% of college students won't understand this.
But is it.... 😂😂😂
Cancel Your Enemies! ✋
The virtuous feeling will signal their virtue.
Amen
47
"Amen 🙏🏼" ー All Twitter users 🤣💀🔥...
😂😂😂😂
The number of people that think this is actually making fun of Jesus is alarming. This is satire, showing what the left would LIKE Jesus to be like.
Silence, the same thing they are using God's name in vain may God forgive y all for y'all do not know what y all do. It would have been made a big deal if someone made a video on how gay ppl act.
@@mr.0iq52 I don't think it is blasphemy. Blasphemy is someone seriously portraying Jesus or his words in a deceitful or inaccurate way.
I thought it was too at first. I have no idea what the Lord thinks of this but I think this satire does portray the real world, sadly
@@jtfike i find the video offensive
@@minecraftminifiguresadvent3170 It is not meant to disparage Jesus. I agree it is jarring to see Jesus saying these things but it is meant to show how far these false and toxic policies/mindsets are from the true teachings of Christ.
Straight from the queen james bible😏
That’s funny
Or the Queer James bible.
But have you even read the Queer'ran ?
Blessed be the nonbinary profits $ !
Good one!!!
Inclusive leather bound sparkle creed edition
Woke Jesus would have condemned the crippled man as ableist for wanting to walk again.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yes😇😂😂😂😂😂😂
why are they like this
republican jesus would tell him to pay for his own disability and to get loss
Woke Jesus wouldn't be a f**king white guy either! That's woke Satan.....
You forgot to make him a black woman.
You mean they forgot to make “them” a black trans woman. 😂
Nailed it!
@@cscates3598 black trans lesbian in a wheelchair
Don't forget the hundred and one face piercings, demonic tattoos, and the purple hair!
mcgspare1310- a lesbian black women at that!
The sad thing is that many people think this is who Jesus is.😥
@@StephanieDavidson-b2p That is true. And maybe that's what a lot of the people who comment think. And this is just a mockery of the real Jesus. Because Jesus is God and trying to make him anything less than Holy is a mockery, and blasphemous. Idk how to show people that Jesus is more that what they believe and that this mockery is just a mockery and not at all the Jesus of the Bible
@@ChevrolineSummer I think most important of all is they need to know why they need a savior in the first place. That by breaking any one of the 10 commandments God will justly send them to eternal hell. But God sent his one and only son Jesus (God in the flesh) to die a death we deserved and if we repent and put our faith in Jesus, he will forgive us in an instant and we have the promise of eternal life with him forever. As far as showing people the real Jesus, take it from the source, find bible verses that show the real Jesus. Just remember absolute truth is real and the bible is absolute truth. Wethers the person believes that or not is irrelevant. I could believe I was an elephant but that doesn't make it true. There is a semi-truck (aka death/hell) coming for every person whether they believe it or not and they need to get out of the way. Living Waters UA-cam channel is a great place to go If you have more questions. They basically go around witnessing to people on the street. They also have a course called the Way of the Master. Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort were the 2 main people who put it together. They also had a tv show for a while in the early 2000's by the same name. Don't know if you were actually expecting an answer but I hope this helps. I'd love to hear back from you. God bless.
@@ChevrolineSummer they're not mocking the biblical jesus, they're mocking how some people perceive jesus
@HalcyonTheBaller You know what, Jesus doesn't need ne to fight his battles, I need him to fight mine. But those people who perseve him like this, they don't know thr real Jesus and by saying they're mocking them while calling themselves Christian then they are just like the Pharisees. If you knew the real Jesus, like really knew him and loved him then you would be outtaged too. I'm sorry you don't have a tight bond with the Perfect Love and Perfect Father. That kinda breaks my heart for you. But this, this video should be taken down, but no one will because it's becone okay to mock the living God of the Bible but it's become wrong to mock the idols you people have created for yourselves. You need a heavy dose of the real Jesus and you will see.
But don't worry any because Jesus says in the book of John " Whoever mocks me will be forgiven but whoever mocks the Spirit will not be forgiven" it uses the word blasphem but I figured ypu wouldn't know that word so I used a synonym (which means a word that means the same thing). Maybe you should read the entire book of John. I mean Christmas is coming up soon and everyone knows that Christmas began with Christ. Don't worry he loves you too. "Come to me all who are weary and heavy burdened, for my yoke is easy my burden light." Matthew 11:28 and he says "For God so loved the world he gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish(die) but have eternal life. For the Son of God didn't come into the world to condemn (find guilty) but to save it." John 3:16-17 "For the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life." Romans 8. Don't worry Jesus loves you, and if you ask him he already said in Matthew 28:20 that "I am with you always even to the end of the world." No sinner is too far gone to be saved.
The type of Jesus they want that goes along their narrative!
This isn't even satire at this point. They genuinely act like this.
But Jesus didn't act this way....
@allismama Wasn't referring to Jesus. Was referring to the far left that this video is mocking.
They follow a different religion.
@@allismamaWay to miss the point that Lefty pedarasts act like this.
@thedude-kl5zh Oh look, a TROLL account! Jesus was not a socialist dum a33. You're what the ad at the end was referring to: woke FALSE ideologies about Jesus.
Jesus sailed across the lake across from Galilee. As soon as he stepped ashore, he saw a naked man. Jesus immediately asked him, "What are your pronouns?"
The man replied, "They, Them, and Legion."
🤣
Ha ha ha!
lol 😂classic!! the video was funny but your comment was hilarious!!!!! 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏
"For we are many"
Prolly the only time when said pronouns were correct.
Innacurate.
Woke Jesus would still be naming genders today.
Wearing rainbow robes, of course !
@@SeaJay_Oceans stole them from joseph
@@SeaJay_Oceans
Good point 🤣
@@toekneemart5597redistributed from Joseph... 😂
@Clouseauish
I'm making a joke about how, in the Left's view, there are a infinite amount of genders
I can't tell whether to LAUGH OR CRY because it's literally how this mindset is right now !!! 😂😭😂😭😞😞😞
Oh! The "legendary Jesus" who lives in the minds of leftists.
Don't do drugs, kids.
LMAO
but
I am entirely unsure about the blasphemy aspect,
Will I have to go to a re-education camp
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@@DOWNUNDER.I’m afraid so. 😉🤓
@@DOWNUNDER. I hear you. But sometimes you must become the absurd to show the absurd. And the intention of the video is to show how ridiculous the left's claims regarding Jesus are.
I've yet to find a drug to retard me enough to be a leftist.
The search goes on.
However, if Jesus came to America in person today most conservatives would likely want him deported on the basis of being a brown-skinned Arab-looking socialist. Jesus said it's easier for a camel to go through an eye of a needle than for a rich person to go to heaven. He said sell all your possessions and give to the poor. And yet conservatives HATE that part of their tax dollars goes to the poorest Americans.
Real Jesus: “I preach love & forgiveness to all”
Woke Jesus: “I preach hatred of everyone who disagrees with me.”
"Real" Jesus also said: "But as for these enemies of mine, who did not want me to reign over them, bring them here and SLAUGHTER them before me" ... oh yeah, love and forgiveness to all ^^ Give me a break.
Matthew 13:50 and Mark 16:16 shows you're wrong.
@@leonardogabrieltrevinoloba2377 the quote i just wrote shows that Matthew13:50 and Mark 16:16 are wrong. Or a lie. Anyway, defending Christianity is defending the enemy of humanity, your best ally, those who corrupt all politicians , the so called "donors" .. those who want you to "lick the dust of their feet", as stated in the Bible.
@@francoisnada7464 Don't worry man.
I actually agree with what you say.
I'm an atheist. I was just showing to this believer that he was wrong in thinking that the "master" he believes (aka jesus) preached about love and forgiveness.
@@leonardogabrieltrevinoloba2377 My bad ! i just saw that your comment was not for me :))
Sometime, i wonder if they really read this book ! Have a nice day :)
"My Lord, how can I be saved."
"Be less white " 😂💀
Woke Jesus: “I’ll Show You The Dark Side”
But the man went away sad,
For he was very white
@mustang607 Will this be AI version of Jesus?
Be less white... 😂😂😂
'And Jesus said unto the congregation at the Correspondents' Dinner, "America! F**k, Yeah!"'
These videos should be entitled "Whoooosh", for going over so many peoples' heads. Nice work, Bee!
Fr
It’d be even funnier if it wasn’t *exactly* what’s now being promulgated.
As usual, the bee's funny is tinged with the horror of its proximity to truth. Reality has become a black satire of itself and the bee just tells us about it
Humans are so proud of themselves because they go all day mocking God without getting struck by a lightning bolt.
But what they haven't counted on is that God created them in his image to set an example that we should be willing to mock ourselves.
@@livenotbylies You're just a Shrek-gendered pony soldier. Lets be friends for life.
Woke Jesus speaks THEIR TRUTH.
However, we can also turn this around. Jesus was a brown Arab and yet conservatives always portray him as white. Jesus said those who give away all their possessions and give to the poor will have the greatest treasures in heaven. Yet Christian Republicans HATE giving part of their tax dollars to the poorest Americans. If Jesus came to the US in person toaday,l many conservatives would want him deported on the basis of being a brown-skinned socialist.
"Do not be afraid, for Lazarus will live again-through this mail-in ballot."
I believe!
LOL...........good one.
धर्म क्या हैं?
पृथ्वी का धर्म है l
सुरज - सूर्य का चक्कर लगाणाl ओर जीवन को पोषण देना l
सुर्य का धर्म क्या हैं?
सुर्य का धर्म पृथ्वी ओर सारे ग्रहो को प्रकाश ऊर्जा से ओतप्रोत करना l
वहा के जीवन को ऊर्जा देना l ओर हमारे ऋषी मुनी वो महान सायन्सटिस्ट थे l जिंहोने प्रकृती की इस सुंदर नियमो का शोध किया l ओर पृथ्वी को धर्म नाम की एक जीवन जिने की, सुजलाम सुफलाम जीवन शैली दिl मुझे गर्व है की मे
ऐसे महान पूर्वजो का
ऐसी महान संस्कृती का एक पालक हुं l मेरे ऐसे महान पूर्वजो का ज्ञान-विज्ञान धरोहर अगले पिढी को देना मेरा परम कर्तव्य है l धर्म - मेरे निसर्गदत्त प्रकृती ने दिये हुवे मेरे कर्तव्य है l
धर्म - का इस से सुंदर अर्थ ओर क्या हो सकता है l
मैं एक पुरुष हुं l तो मैं एक सूर्य हुं l मेरे शरीर को तप्त कर, मेहनत कर कुटुंब का जीवन पोशित करना मेरा कर्तव्य है l मैं एक स्त्री हुं l तो मे पृथ्वी हुं l आगले पिढी को जन्म देना मेरा कर्तव्य है l मेरे कुटुंब की जिम्मेदारी निभाना मेरा धर्म है l
स्कूल कॉलेज से धर्म कर्तव्य की शिक्षा निकाल के हम अधिकार की शिक्षा दे रहे हैं l मे कामगार हुं मुझे स्पेशल अधिकार दो l मैं स्त्री हुं मुझे स्पेशल अधिकार दो l मे संख्या मे कम हुं मुझे स्पेशल अधिकार दो l हर कोई अधिकार - स्पेशल ट्रीटमेन्ट माग रहा है l लेकीन कोई अपने कर्तव्य की l धर्म की बात नही कर राहा l
हमें चाहिए धर्मक्रसी
कर्तव्य का वाहन करणे वाली सोसांयटि
ना की अपने अधिकार की डीमांड करणे वाली सोसायंटि?
क्या हम धर्मनिरपेक्ष याने कर्तव्यनिरपेक्ष कर्तव्य ना करणे वाले ओर अधिकार के लिये रस्ते पे तोडफोड करणे वाले समाज को चाहते हैं? धर्मनिरपेक्ष देश - कर्तव्यनिरपेक्ष देश
बरबाद हो जाते हैं l
नष्ट हो जाते है l
भारत वर्ष का सत्व धर्म - कर्तव्य आधारित जीवन जिने वाले लोग हैं l
भारत के शत्रू भारत की ताकद जाणते है?
लेकीन भारत के लोग धर्म की ताकद नही जाणते l
एक बार धर्म का अर्थ पता चल जाये तो l आता है
सत्य धर्मl मे सत्य के लिये लढुगा, झूट को एक्सपोज करना, अधर्म असत्य को एक्सपोज करना मेरा दायित्व हो जाता है lयेशू - येवोह ज्यू यहुदी गॉड है l ख्रिश्चन पंथ दुसरे लोगो के गॉड को मार्केटिंग कर के l ख्रिश्चन पंथ क्यो बेच रहा है l उसके पीछे उसका उद्देश आपकी जमीन आपके परिसर की सत्ता हसिल करना है l उसके लिये ये सैतान राक्षस लोग आपको वो सारे सपने दिखते है l जो उनके पास नही है l
अभी ख्रिश्चन पंथ के पास अपना गॉड नाही l बायबल भी ज्यू यहुदी पवित्र तोराह पुस्तक की चोरी है l तो उसके पास खुद का स्वर्ग भी नहीं है l जो उनके फाद्री पास्टर 5-5 मिनट मे आपको देणे का वादा करते है l
इस प्रकार क्रिश्चन पंथ के मिशनरी माफिया लोगो ने 107 देश की जमीन कब्जा कर ली है l
आफ्रिका के भयानक गरीब लोगो की जमीन कब्जा कर वाहा के संसाधन अमेरिकन युरोप देश शोषण करते है l
जब आफ्रिका मे एड्स / कोवीड जैसे महामारी चाली l इन अमेरिकन युरोप देश ने गरिब लोगो को महांगी दवाईयां की 1 रुपये किंमत काम नाही की l
ऐसे भयानक समय मे सनातन हिंदू विचार वाले नरेंद्र मोदी ने इन लोगो को सस्ती दवाई या बेचि l
धर्म मनुष्य को पशु से मानव बनाता है l ख्रिश्चन पंथ मानव को पशु बनता है l इस्लाम पंथ मानव को पशु बनाता है l
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Bad news, Trump now says he never said anything bad about mail in ballots. That' means this comment officially labels you as a lying liberal.
Woke Jesus: "Do not teach a man to fish, let him loot the Walmart so that he may watch The Fishing Channel on an 85" big screen."
lol
Woke Jesus is always for free education too. It is right who force capable, smart, gifted people into poverty or educational debt at the expense of technological stagnation.
☠️☠️☠️
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I can barely type, I'm laughing so hard...epic comment, thank you. Oh, yeah, and you're probably going to he*l 😁
"Someone who identifies as a large ornate building"😂
“Your brother Lazarus will live on. … Through this mail in ballot.”
I wish he would have said "these" ballots and handed him a bundle!
He should have said “your brother Lazarus will live on, or at least his vote will live on through these mail in ballots”.
Lmao 🤣 I died laughing seeing how casual he says that why handing her the papers
Gold nothing but GOLD!
My favorite!
To a leftist, this isn’t satire…it’s a documentary!
That's funny.😂
😂😂😂
Sadly true.
They will use this and "quote Jesus"
True!
"Be less white." -funny.
"But the man went away sad for he was very white." -I lost it.
I lost it when he Said Lazarus would live on with this mail in ballot!
The irony here is that this was satire on how Jesus said to the wealthy man "stop being wealthy" but the man wouldnt let go of his money. And Jesus said this is why he will not be in heaven, his love for money. Jesus was a communist, but this video implies that Jesus was a materialisitc capitalist who is ok with greed driven society and wealth accumulation.
@@Daniel_walks_with_Tobi Not really on either count. He said and heavily implied that the wealthy man loved his money and wouldn't let go of it. That's not a criticism of being industrious or wise with your assets, but of the greed of that wealthy man. He made money the most important thing in his life-- more important than his family, his friends, his society, and certainly more important than God. Jesus also spoke the parable of the talents-- three servants entrusted 5 talents of gold, and 3 talents, and 1 talent. A single talent was a fair amount of wealth-- almost US$400K in 2024. So the first was to manage $2M, the second to manage $1.2M, and the third to manage $400K.
The man who was entrusted with 1 talent buried it and returned to his master 1 talent. He was wicked/lazy since he didn't actually do anything with that wealth. He didn't start a business, he didn't invest, he didn't even put it in the bank to collect some interest. He was afraid of being industrious, he was afraid of hard work, and he wouldn't even do the minimum. His master took the 1 talent from that man.
The men who were entrusted with 3 talents and 5 talents used it as an investment and returned their master 6 talents & 10 talents respectively. Both doubled the money they were entrusted with. The master let them continue with their profitable work, giving the man who already had 10 talents of gold an 11th talent.
A fortune isn't our own. It's merely ours to manage, it's ours to grow: we are to be a good steward of that money for the glory of the Kingdom of God.
Without faith it is impossible to please God/Jesus Christ. One must be born again, born of the Spirit (Holy Spirit), born from above. read the gospel of John chapter three if honestly want to know the truth. One cannot know the truth if he or she rejects the truth. Jesus Christ is the truth, the way and the life no one will escape hell accept by grace through faith in the blood Christ shed and the finished work that Christ completed on the cross. The Pharisees were the most religious men on the planet in Christ's day and Christ Jesus told them their father was the devil because they didn't accept the truth even though the truth was standing right in front of them.
Hebrews 11:6
But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.
@@Daniel_walks_with_TobiNo
Jesus was already woke. . .fed the hungry, gave to the poor, treated women with respect, spoke out against tyranny and oppression
I thought this was a Disney remake of a passion of Christ but then I realized Jesus was white.
😂😂😂
😂😂
"Lazarus will live again thru this mail in ballot" 😂
And male
I thought it was an updated Life of Bryan skit.
The legitimate good acting of this guy is what sells it and makes it so funny.
such a W
And, sadly, ACCURATE.
He is the best actor on the Babylon Bee channel IMHO. He plays the recurrent character Devil and does great English and Russian accents too.
The California Couple that moved to Texas are also great.
Man if I was not this set id be laughing so hard
I believe his name is Jarrett LeMaster and I absolutely agree, that MoFo can act like a, well........MoFo!
Getting called a femboy by Jesus is literally the worst thing imaginable.
Bahaha
No clue what you mean. Sounds like a compliment to me
🤣💀
"Get behind me, Satan" ❌
"Get behind me, femboy" ✅
I think you're right.
@@incran9027ew get help 🤢
"Cancel your enemies ended me".
Legend has it that Jesus is still listing genders to this day.
I just can't with the Bee. What is worse is that I've heard of a lot (not all) of these genders and I'm pretty sure they must be on a list somewhere...
😂😂😂
@@firstknight117 i have also heard of a lot of made up things
It's been 2000 years since…. does he ever get tired?
@@firstknight117If they are on a list, it can't be on hard copy. The number and type of goofy pronouns changes so quickly and so often, it would be out of date by the time the list comes off the printer.
Woke Jesus parties with sinners... turning vats of water into kegs of Bud Lite.
jesus always partied with sinners
he just changed them afterwards
This one is good 😂
Ouch
Yes but you leave out the part where he DOES NOT affirm them in their sin.
@@attah-odejohogwu9357 Jesus, and He.
I sent this to the "pastor" of the United Methodist Church in my city, she didn't appreciate it.
women should not even be in those positions according to scripture lol
haha. The only humour radical feminists appreciate is dirty jokes and gratuitous insults of MAGA people. They hiss at all other humour.
Female pastor?
@@gonzalezdeorense792 she has a d1ck I bet 🤔
Oh now, this is the most hilarious thing of all. I can't stop busting out even as I type.
2:48 “goombasexual” 😂
😂
Once again , Babylon Bee sums up current culture perfectly .
Wait one moment, you forgot Jesus telling His disciples blessed are the peacemakers who protest on college campuses.
Good one 👍
@@nydiacanas603 Thankyou
like how jesus protested against the merchants and the money changers in the cleansing of the temple
I thought he said "Blessed are the cheesemakers".
And left the campus filled with trash.
Lemme just say tho…actor Jesus here is phenomenal with his delivery. I’d watch way more with him
Antifa Jesus
"Free Palestine!" Oh wait, that didn't exist back then because jews are much older and they are the original owners of the land.
If that’s the case, call me Harrod Pilot.
And please send AK Jesus.
We shall follow the teachings of Brandon Herrera. Defeating communism using their own tools against them.
ANTI First Amendment?
no, he didn't act violent
My favorite part was Jesus naming all of the 5,269 “genders” in existence (so far) and the camera kept coming back to him for Part 4 & 5, then part 6, and so on and so forth. Then he said, ” Just keep making them up.” 😂😂
The Mail In Ballot was a stroke of genius
I don't get that one.
@@MrTrevortxeartxe It's based on the [unproven] assumption that mail-in ballots facilitate voter fraud -- that it is easier for ballots to be falsely cast in the name of dead people, if the individuals are not showing up in person. The dead person is still "alive," so to speak.
@@MrTrevortxeartxe Me neither
Far right claim of "stealing" election by people using mail in ballets for dead people to sway vote.
Republicans said that dead people voted for Biden. Funny story though. More dead voted for Trump than Biden.
I was waiting for the comedy to kick in but this was more of a documentary. Very accurate.
Jesus calling someone a femboy is INSANE
never in my life would i ever hear someone acting as jesus say femboy, yet here i am
@@Catho.Never in my life have I seen the words "woke" and "Jesus" put together.
@@ryze9153 indeed my brother
It's blasphemy
@@ryze9153 Jesus was literally the wokest hippie of his time lmao. He was a ling haired, unemployed man who preached love and forgiveness...and frequently hung out with the degenerates of society
Lazarus casting a ballot was pure genius.
It's always been how the democrats win!🤣🤣🤣🤣
That was probably the only funny part of this. The original video GOP Jesus was way funnier and used actual Bible quotes.
Now I get it!
He will live again.. thru this mail in ballot
That one was just perfect 😂😂
@@docwally1Through voting?
How did the actor who played Jesus not laugh at every single line on this video, raw talent
Multiple takes
@Zaloomination he is a very talented and versatile actor, They need to do a Bee movie
...it's super sticky 3:53
So many great funny lines yet that subtle extra comment broke me into laughter 😂😂
But man...what is this world turning into 😶
I saw him walk out of the shot once, looking like he was about to burst into laughter.
My same thought!
Leftists will watch this and think "Oh wow this makes sense!"
Try not to trip over your hatred. It could be a very long fall.
@@debrac3391You referring to the trans mountain climber who died falling off a mountain earlier this year? Oops, didn't expect that did you?
PS: Its name was Jamie Logan as detailed by Climbing magazine, pronouns Was/Were.
@@cbbees1468 Point missed, AGAIN!
@@debrac3391 Don't trip over your hatred over Donald Trump and Conservative families, it could be a very long fall.
@@cbbees1468 You're dumber than most. But, thanks for the chuckle.
I hate to point this out but he missed about 34 genders.
he's still naming them..... they just ran out of battery for the recording
At least.. 😂
🤣🤣🤣
He resurrected to complete the list.
Trump’s “felony” charges are genders?
The Jesus actor was star material. Superb timing and delivery while being absurdly handsome.
The Bee's own Gosling.
No doubt.
@Steve-hm3ri Middle eastern men can be hot.
@Steve-hm3ri He was a Palestinian.... but where's the stand with Palestine pin?
@@33333Tarun Wasn't he a Jew/Judean? Correct me if I'm wrong.
@@33333Tarundude. You’re joking and it’s funny. Sorry to blow your cover. 😂
So good to use humor to point out stupidity. Comedians used to do that all the time when our country had a sense of humor. Well done.
That's why the Left cancels comedians. No mocking of the new order is to be permitted.
well said
you should be ashamed
@@SharkBoyMemes Lol why? They are right.
*far left @@RCAvhstape
1:00. Yeah i couldn't finish this. My spirit was was affected by gringe 😂😂😂
Finally, a gospel fit for a megachurch
😂
Making it much easier for all those ministers to "minister".
Prophecy says the church becomes corrupted. The stance of the church, "we don't believe in prophecy".
I knew Wokeness was a religion.
No it wouldn't be eat the rich. It might be something more like steal from the poor
When comedy is our actual reality
When our nighmares start After we wake up in the morning...
BB has a nack for doing this. They're more accurate than the Simpsons
Thats what the world feels like to me at last in the last ten years.
Don't blame democrats for your lack of education and failures.
Yep, that's tight, Jesus was white, not an Arab.
"will live again... through this mail-in ballot" omfg LOL
An example of comedy amplifying the bizarreness of truth.
Arguably the funniest bit.
Milk out the nose funny
Classic
@@mattiassjoquist5042I agree, but it was a Derby finish.
God is Not MOCKED what a man sows this also he will reap.
You had me at, "He'll live again, with this mail in ballot" ,😂🤣😂
😭😭🤣
It took me a minute to catch that😂
That one cracked me up!
I am not american. What does that joke mean?
@@HardcoreKreampie - neither am I but that's a dig that votes of deceased citizens were allegedly counted in a presidential election.
"He will live on... through this mail-in ballet" 😂
Mail-in ballot, I presume.
XD
This was the funniest part 😂
genius...
Now *that* almost made me laff! 😮
Amazed that your Jesus managed to pull this off without breaking into laughter.
I bet it took many takes to do it all with a straight face.
But how many takes? 😊
He's a great actor.
The magic of 87 takes.
BB - this is your BEST skit ever! I am on-forwarding...
this is probably what the bible will look like in the next 20 years
Pretty sure we DON'T have that much time left.
Sorry, Citizen. The Bible is banned in USA for violation of the antisemitism laws.
Stop the Hate of Moneychangers ! Protect their tables from peaceful protests.
Report to your nearest democrat Rededucation Center. For Democracy !
There’s a video around of a female priest leading the congregation in a gender neutral or queer or something , creed.
@sue8344
The Sparkle Creed if I ‘member.
Correct-a-mundo........ @@WilliamSaverino
So funny but sad because this is literally how they are.
I was born in the SF Bay Area and lived there for many years. They really are like this.
It's not? This is kind of a skewed view of how the left is. Most of us don't believe there are a million genders. It was also probably like one person on the internet that said "Eat the rich." I do not affiliate with whoever this video makes fun of, and I would consider myself pretty far left.
My grandparents also voted from the grave for Biden... I was shocked because they were committed republicans.
Anyone can change their opinions and views, even in the afterlife! Wow, I didnt know USPS could deliver to and from Heaven! Amazing
I guess they spent some time with Woke Jesus in heaven.
Nailed it! This is the democrate mentality 100%
Thank you, Anglo-Saxon Jesus!
Waaaa!😭👶
Yeah, I don't get why he has a British accent. 😅
@@Josephe-AnneBritish Palestine
This is the best, Babylon Bee! I am convinced you all are for real for real Christians, because no fake Christian would ever be so hilariously sacrilegious to prove an important point. Bravo, Babylon Bee! Fearlessness and Satire!
I would pay the $12 movie ticket price if you make a Woke Jesus movie. 90 minutes of Woke Jesus oneliners.
I 2nd that!!! 😂😂😂
That's what they did with Night at the Roxbury
In Cinewoke theaters the ticket prices are $34 each.
Kudos to the actor here- a true natural.
Oh yeah, I'd be there!
Astro kush queer, Bilateral transmutant queer, Azazel queer, Abraxas queer, double/triple queer, queer 5-Hunnid…
Do not be afraid, for Lazarus will live again... through this mail in ballot.: John 6:66
If I was drinking at the time, I would of choked! Or spit.
That was funny and sadly true, at the same time.
The Bee nailed it, as all the rest🤗
And that was the moment I laughed way too hard and clicked like.
Look at what John 6:66 says.
Doesn't he play Satan, too? Such range!
Wdym "too"? He was playing Satan in this skit.
(2 Cor. 11:14)
@@nocx4592 Good catch!
Looks like "Woke Jesus" is just Satan in disguise
Woke Jesus IS Satan.
Is that Salty Cracker?
"I merely stole it from that village over there"
🤣🤣🤣
Wealth redistribution 🤡
It's called "wealth redistribution".
Galatians 6:7, "Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.
Your Probably the only one here in the comments I've seen who actually cares and believes in Jesus. God bless ✝️💖
@EddieNarrea nope there’s other others.🙏
@@sharkmanjames2495 that's nice to know.
In unfortunate how it dose take awhile to find them though.
God bless ✝️💖
"actually I stole it from that village over there. it's called wealth redistribution"
I freaking lost it at that point
The way the disciple says "Nice" at the end really closes it. This might be the Bee's best work to date.
Like you have enough income to redistribute. Lol. Have you considered community college?
Hellsing pfp? Based
😂😂😂😂
Oh my gosh the same That's my favorite
All laughs aside, he would make a GREAT Jesus in a New Testament film.
The Book is way better
@@R.N.19 But I'm talking about the next film that is made about Jesus, he totally has a Jesus look to him.
Jonathan Roumie has that in the bag already, including his heritage.
@@Katie_NC Omg. Seriously? The role of Jesus in a movie is not limited to any one person. You realize that, right? My personal favorite Jesus portrayal is by John Foss.
@@Katie_NC His heritage? His father is Egyptian and his mother Irish. Jesus was an Israeli Jew
"Shrek gendered? If you want, make them all up. It's fine." 🤣🤣
I think inlaughed most at this part
Straight == shrek, it’s make my day!
Legend has it woke Jesus is still listing off pronouns and genders 2000 years after this was filmed.
What would his pronoun be?
@@JC-dz5ureverything all at once
“Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me more than these?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Remember their pronouns.”
Baa/Bel
The new season of the chosen is wild
Lmao they should make a whole tv series of this lol
Thanks! This is perfect!
"Lazarus will live again... through this mail in ballot"
😂🤣😂
The ballot for Lazarus was already filled out right?
And photocopied a few hundred thousand times and delivered to a single municipality at 4 am. But remember every election is super secure (except 2016) if you are a progressive.
Numerous times too!
I didn't notice that!! Haha!! If we can't have election integrity at least we can have the best satire!! 😅
I sent some of these to my group chats. Now it is a flurry of YT videos from this channel.
Christ Is King
Amen
Rex Judaoerum
Non woke Jesus is king!
Xristos Anesti
@@coolbeans9899Yes!!😊
Some good realism to underpin the heresy there. Good costumes, good scenery, and of course, Jesus's authentic almost British accent. Perfect really lol.
Poor Jesus, getting all stressed out trying to remember all the genders. So brave. So stunning.
“Cancel your enemies” 😅
Without faith it is impossible to please God/Jesus Christ. One must be born again, born of the Spirit (Holy Spirit), born from above. read the gospel of John chapter three if honestly want to know the truth. One cannot know the truth if he or she rejects the truth. Jesus Christ is the truth, the way and the life no one will escape hell accept by grace through faith in the blood Christ shed and the finished work that Christ completed on the cross. The Pharisees were the most religious men on the planet in Christ's day and Christ Jesus told them their father was the devil because they didn't accept the truth even though the truth was standing right in front of them.
Hebrews 11:6
But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.
“And curse those who bless you” …so accurate.
@@mr.grantsartexplorations1014 Matthew 5:44
But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
-Jesus Christ
Amen
Jesus forgot to state Their pronouns.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@MichaelGreen-dm2ov Paul rejected gender as a truly significant category. "There is no male and female-for all of you are one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:28).
Oh yes yes! The pronouns. Whatever you want. Make them all up.
If woke Jesus made a speech listing all the genders it would take more time rhan resurrecting...
@@lucaskohn5457 Apparently you’ve never read the four gospels.
“Put this human rights sticker on your camel”😂😂
"Super sticky."
The mail-in ballot killed me!
Get thee behind me Democrats!!
That's a good one 😂👍
Gonna use this phrase from now on!
Omg I love this!!
You are brilliant!
And most Republicans.
A good opportunity for some genuine ecuminism. I assume that this is made by Protestants as a satire of modern Protestantism, but as an RC I can relate totally. That's how our Church has been going, particularly under Pope Francis.
Greetings, brothers!
you've outdone yourselves Bee. Not just the Satire, but the setting and replication of the feel of Gospel productions. Mega kudos!
If this wasn’t the Babylon Bee I would assume it was some woke leftist “church” being serious
The things he says kind of give it away. But for real, I've heard plenty of times how Jesus was actually a radical proto-Marxist rebel, etc.
Nope it was done Jews. Anything to divide Americans
this is why we read the bible daily, so we dont get it wrong
Lol. There's nothing right in it. All just silly mythology. Duh
@@FuKuntteven if you don’t believe anything that is in the Bible it still holds great wisdom and good life lessons, I say that it can be good even for atheists.
@@NighterThePinterestFreak lol yes, e.g. how to sell your 11 year old daughter to a 55 year old stranger for 3 goats and a pig. duh
"Lazarus will live again" got me😁🤣🤣
"You are the light of the world. A city being burned down in a mostly peaceful protest cannot be hidden."
Fiery but mostly peaceful.
I like it!
😂😂😂
Best bible verse ever lol
That Lazarus mail-in ballot line got me.
Exactly! Spot on.
'Lazarus will live as an avatar in the multiverse'.
Same!
That was f###ing hilarious
The Babylon Bee always make me laugh at secular/Marxist insanity.
If you picket out the right verses you could probadly make Jesus sound like a Socialist.
Secularism and Marxism are so far apart that they might be on another planet as Christianity is from philosophy of Jesus 🤣 #InquisitionShallNeverBeForgiven
Those are 2 different things, cultural left and economically left are different, not all socialists are stupid teenagers who identify as a window
Secular?
Well done, one of the best skits I've seen in a while
This makes me think about the churches that put up the gay pride flag.
What’s wrong with a church and its community being accepting of all humans?
@@Nightshade1881 The pride flag... I don't think it means what you think it means.
@@Jerryboy97 it’s literally just a rainbow flag that can mean anything to anyone
Conservative are the fragile ones getting upset over a damn rainbow 🤣
@@Nightshade1881 define human...
@@MichalSzczurowski a fucking human being 🤷🏻♂️
Support of a new health care bill for insurance is next level trolling if you say you're going to heal someone.
You missed it. Not only is he not healed, but he is now forced to purchase insurance wether he can afford it or not. Which is pretty good likeness of Obamacare. Most poor people were better off before Obamacare with their state medicaid.