All relationships are transactional. Absolute truth spoken here. I'm in my 40s and my sugar arrangement was by far and away the most honest relationship I've ever had. Lot's of different expectations from people in sugar situations just like any other type, but nowhere near the BS, drama, or games.
Kudos to you for pointing out what to me has always been obvious- all relationships are transactional. When I have explained this to people they think I am being cynical suggesting that women only want money but as you pointed out sometimes women (and men) want superficial things and sometimes they want something much deeper. I get the same skepticism from people when I explain dating, sex, love, relationships and marriage from a sociological perspective. Unfortunately most people (men and women) only have a romantic view of these things. As you pointed out knowing what you have to offer and understanding what you value in return is not necessarily unromantic instead it could be the thing that leads to you finding happiness.
Cheers Nathan - I think it's a very confronting psychological shift - and people often only get close to there after they've been badly burned, but then they look at it resentfully rather than realising it doesn't diminish love at all, but makes you realise that love is earned, and it's not forever or automatic.
I'm a senior who wants younger women. To make this happens requires a financial arrangement. Dating with the age gape isn't very practical. Although it takes time to screen and find the right one, the site has worked out for me. I limit my encounters to one a week. Some will repeat and some don't. I prefer repeats to avoid surprises. I've saved myself a trip to southeast Asia.
Viewing relationships as transactional isn't romantic. But one thing a lot of guys need to learn is that most women by nature aren't romantic. Especially those that have experienced that all before
In my experience women are way more romantic than men. You sound like one of the people that complains tinder is all about looks. Yeah, the app that centers around photographs is going to be about looks.
Oh I should clarify - LOTS of owmen there are looking for a sugar daddy with money to spoil them - But there were a good number of others (maybe 10-20%) who weren't. I know because I was meeting them - no money changing hands, no 'spoiling' or showing the 'high life'
Its because people dont feel good about themselves blatantly saying “gimmie moey or leave” or “gimmie s3x or leave”. People try to justify their needs in a way that sounds moral, not immoral. As a future SD I would let her know that I want more than just the s3x. I want companionship
Great vid bud, on the tech side maybe set to the manual focus and set the flicker reduction to 60Hz instead of 50Hz to stop the monitors in the background pulsing :)
Because the relationship is up front transparent from the start that's what it makes it better than regular relationship Because you are their to be yourself and enjoy the evening. The regular way has too many complications.
I tend to agree with you that basically all relationships in life (including platonic ones) are transactional, apart from maybe parent and child or people who volunteer to help those in need. Perhaps a less jarring way of framing it is in terms of reciprocity and mutuality, but the point still stands - people generally expect an equitable exchange in both friendships and romantic partnerships. In a friendship, it might be that both people listen and provide emotional support relatively equally. Or maybe one friend always pays for lunch while the other always listens, but if both people are satisfied with the arrangement, it can be sustainable. And so on. However, most emotionally stable, mature individuals with a sense of self worth won't hang around in friendships or romantic partnerships that feel too unbalanced long-term.
my key takeaway - Be aware of what you are offering and know where and how best to pitch it! I think it is called Product Market fit in marketing parlance!
Am I the only one super annoyed by the way this guy keeps waving his hands in front of his face? Gesturing with your hands while you talk is fine, but why between the camera and your face every few seconds? Totally distracting.
I go into these relationships because they are easier to find traditional relationships. No guessing who's paying. I pay, I receive. They try to lock you down, but the person with the money has the power.
A lot of women would say that they want a guy that is truthful and loves and respects them. So they want a guy that says 'I want an open relationship' or 'I want a monogamous relationship', instead of saying that they want a monogamous relationship, but they still go behind your back. That is part of the reason why women are going to wind up on seeking arrangement, because if you can not find love, then you might as well get paid for what they are putting out, then every one knows what they are getting. Guy gets no drama, because he does not have to lie about the other arrangements and woman does not have to lie about other arrangements either, so 'Yeah sorry I can not make Monday night because that night I am seeing Suzie/Adam'. It then becomes totally fine to say that, because the woman does not invest too much emotion into the relationship and the guy should know that unless he is paying a lot of money then that woman has bills to pay too and she will be needing to see other guys. It would be great if guys actually loved women enough to be monogamous, but they don't.
I find the constant use of the word "superficial" oft putting as well as the inference that those value sets are less than. Being beautiful is rare, being really beautiful is more rare than being wealthy. That value shouldn't be downplayed as if in the transaction, it's somehow worth less than intelligence or some personality trait.
Well the difficulty is that you assume the word "superficial" is a negative thing - it simply means 'surface layer' - So in that sense, beauty is superficial by definition. That's always the difficulty with words - they carry different meanings for different people. For the record - I don't think beauty is 'less than' - I only think it's bad to focus on beauty when it's the ONLY thing you focus on, becasue it will lead to trouble. And people who only focus on beauty tend ot have other emotional issues at the same time.
@@SchoolOfAttraction I'm assuming it because of the focus on the word in more than one of your videos. I think the issue is, most people see superficial as "less than" therfore there's no problem in seeing single issue daters as inherently troubled as you described. Just taking me as an example, I admire beauty. I see it as rare rather, where this culture has no problem telling us "anyone can be beautiful and its fleeting". These are fallacies, truly beautiful ppl don't reach a shelf life where they morph into Shrek. Sorry for the length of this. We simply disagree that single issue relationships have as much validity and chance at longevity as any other relationship type. If that issue is tied to what makes two ppl work, they are likely to stay committed. Just my opinion.
Bro they baiting you all of them would say they're not after money in truth they are but they're will to be patient to get it since eventually a man will most likely fall for them 🤣🤣🤣
@@SchoolOfAttraction trying to convince your audience that your amazing intellect is getting women to fawn at you without any prospect of money is ridiculous. Of course they want financial compensation eventually!! Having conversations and connection is easy for women. It’s the sexual aspects that you’ll end up paying for down the road. Don’t lie to ppl.
Well, this is something that men should learn. For women dating is seriously transactional. And they are always looking for a better transaction out there. Men nowadays are way too romantic believing too much in Disney and fairytales. And because they have this overromanticized view, not only does that kill their own attractiveness but women take advantage of them and don't respect them even when they are in a relationship with them. Even the most rich, famous and attractive men like Johny Depp or Brad Pitt are a victim of this. I think that your open relationship is one of the best things to do nowadays. Open relationship or casual dating. Relations like our grandparents had, are history. Women nowadays have too many options and they are not hesitating to go for a better option when it presents itself not caring whatever they built up with their current partner. And online dating has only made this problem worse. Every men has become disposable to women.
Man Im only 23 but having my run with so many rejections from women and horrible experiences with online dating, the idea of becoming a SUg. Dad is sounding so appealing! Im so ready to throw in the towel of modern dating in this ruined dating scene
@@ghostridersinthesky21 Actually I made a fake account on a sugar daddy site last week out of curiosity. I read trough the bio's and it seriously doesn't sound like something I would be interested in. It is a complete win win for the women. Many of them want you to mentor them in how to become rich and you also have to pay a shitload of money for them but they also explicitly put in the bio that they don't want to have sex with you. Sounds like the biggest shitdeal you can make as a man. Spending all your time and money for a woman that has 0 sexual interest in you. I would advise you to better yourself as a man. First of all, I would avoid online dating. Unless you are really good looking, a head turner, this shit isn't going to work out. Focus on getting in shape. Eat healthy and go to the gym so you look in a nice shape. Dress well, have nice shoes. And then start learning game and approach women in real life. Go do some activities where you can meet girls like for example salsa.
@@DiegoGonzalez-go2qy Aw Im sure thats just a small minority of women on the app who are delusional. Im already fit, I work out 3x a week but that doesn’t change the fact that Im 5ft6 and have a prosthetic eye making me far less attractive than attractive men. Im done getting a hundred rejections and hundreds of hours wasted with traditional dating. I want the convenience of SD/SB relationships and Im willing to pay for it
I am a full time submissive lady that is trained to serve master both sexually and domestically. I 'm currently seeking for a new master for a long term relationship.
There is nothing as interesting as an intelligent man, he can mentor you, Lead you in the right direction, and give you security The sugar daddy experience some people get it wrong, some of these men mentor you even without sex they upgrade you and they ask you what are you seeking in this companionship ..they will guide you even help in opening up a business, connect you to a different world..yes you go on expensive dates but you find somebody who values you that's why they are called "Sugar Daddy" and the best part they do not play games ..ha ha ha ha they have no time for that ha ha haaa
It’s really true though. I’ve never done the sugar baby thing. But my girlfriend told me I should. I’m on tinder and CMB and POF, but it’s such shitty matches, always broken or serial killer weird guys...don’t get me wrong I’m open to deep conversation and I’m REALLY good at it, but that’s not the equivalent to fix my entire life. I’m smart, I hold a masters degree, I make my own money, I cook, and clean and from what I’ve been complimented by various men (of all races) I’m gorgeously stunning...but as life would have it, I’m picky. I want a good conversation and a smart adventurous tough handsome man that’s all, but some guys online can’t be that on tinder or other sites.
Mate, we live ln the same state, but you must be living in a different Queensland to the one I'm living in.I get 30-50 matches a day from various dating sites and NOT ONE GIRL is willing to meet up under the current quarantine restrictions. NOT A SINGLE ONE. So I don't know what you're doing or saying, but I'm kinda calling bullshit on this one.
Great vid. I opened seeking out of curiosity and to my surprise, I received a few messages and likes after 1 day, even though Im not premium nor I liked any girl. On tinder I barely have matches so this was a big surprise. I also have to point out that my profile is ver basic: a two liner description of what I enjoy and a single picture of my face covered in mud haha.
@@SchoolOfAttraction If you were old, fat, and married like most of the mistress seeking geezers, you probably would have received different treatment. And I think if those women knew you were using them as a social experiment and had no real intention to take care of them long term, they would have ghosted you.
@@blastofo dude doesn’t realize that women are perfectly capable and happy having friendship relationship without sex. He isn’t asking for sex therefore no money needs to be exchanged. But let me tell ya as soon as sex is on the table they will change their tune toward him real quickly.
I think its true that relationships are transactional in a way we are what we can give its part of who we are . for years marriage was a transactional event openly . How many horses will you give the Chief for one of his daughters the more horses you would get the one of your choice. in other cultures how big of a dowry does she have. The old man would build it up so he could marry off his daughters. sometimes it would be two sets of parents making a financial arrangement with there two families . I was told one of my great grandmothers was an indentured servant. a guy came along and paid for her freedom that is a lot to offer. Myself well I don't have anything to offer to make some ones life better .If I was a woman having a kind heart and even just being average looking it would be enough to give but not if you are a guy they want accomplished men they learned how to navigate through life and could take them along for the ride. its the way its supposed to be. if I were a dog I would be a great loving companion just the way I am. very lovable but a man has to be more than a dog. I think because if a women gets a dog she knows what to expect but with a guy she don't know? A dog wont cost that much if it isn't the best or smartest dog . The wrong man her life could fall into ruin much misery. So being superficial isn't a bad thing.
So be aware I pointd out that 'transactional' didn't just mean exchange of fiscal value... Transactional could be that you both want to feel safe so you both need a partner who makes you feel safe. Or you want a partner who makes you feel USEFUL and NEEDED, and she needs a partner who makes her feel DESIRED and INTELLIGENT - That would also be a transaction.
I have no complaints about what you said .I confirming your point about what we call superficial . I was just saying that it makes sense to me how and why women choose there mates ( mates in the American definition ) I especially like the dating website where women were saying exactly what they want . there way of thinking is what mine would probably be if I was female. No confusion is nice. I enjoy your videos .
I'm going to do a video on just this - To me, love is VERY real - we just need to be aware how selfish love actually is - we love someone because they make us feel certain things consistently therefore we get something out of it, therefore it isn't unconditional, therefore it's transactional, but love still exists... at any rate, watch this space ;)
@@SchoolOfAttraction You are making a statement without backing it up. I can actually back up what I said. The best way to assess love is marriage. 70 % of divorces are filed by women. Why do you think that is ? There are even studies out there that show that when a woman during her marriage gets a higher paying job, she files for divorce. Does that sould like real love to you ? It definitely doesn't to me. Men in general don't file divorce as quickly. In general they don't exchange her older wife for a younger one. That sounds more like true love to me.
I'm not sure how you figure I'd be losing in this scenario.. I still haven't paid any money to anyone and had lots of great experiences with women far more attractive than I would have met on regular dating sites. If they're hoping to get money later on.. that's their loss isn't it? Not sure how I'd be in trouble here - but happy for you to explain your thoughts...
@@SchoolOfAttraction so you’re talking to them for free. But as soon as sex became part of the equation you’d have to pay. They are entertaining you as a potential and may actually think you’re cool bc women are perfectly capable of friendship without sex. But you’re sort of deceiving your audience by not being completely transparent in the video that you don’t have sex with these women. Some men are going to watch your video and think this means they will get the SEX for free. Most men don’t give af what a woman has to say. They care what’s between her legs. And let’s be HONEST you’re gonna have to PAY for that part of the experience.
Yo dude I respect a lot of your other videos and advice are usually really solid but this one is kinda not your best one man A tied isn’t gonna announce to you he’s a thief Nor would a cheater tell you that’s what he’s gonna do to you These women saying they’re not after money but yet are in these sites are just like the thief and cheater above They’re not fooling anyone
You forget that I personally know some of these women socially. I know women's bs very well - I smell it out for a living. These women don't mind moey of course. Besides, I've been successfully picking women up there without paying them anything OR them asking for anything so......
@@SchoolOfAttraction Well, the fact that they did not try to get your resources the instant they met you can just mean that they planning on gaining access later, when they gain your trust.
@@SchoolOfAttraction okay nice! i asked because you did not mention it in your video since i was curious to know if you would come to the same conclusion when you meet them
The funny thing is when you don't realize the women you are seeing is actually a gold digger. You don't have to have a lot of money to be considered wealthy, a good job, a good business. Success is another word for wealth. Weather that is having your own business or a great job. The 2nd you tell women these things they will be very interested in you, just like in this video. You flaunt your wealth and the flock of women will come.
Well, about this transaction stuff. You said multiple times on this channel that if you lie to a woman, you will always think that she likes the lie, not you. So if I offer, for example, my intelligence as a transaction, then I will always feel that she likes my transactional property (intelligence), not me. Isn't lying just a kind of transaction? And is there a way to feel like she values me as a person, not a very specific transactional part of me, be it lying or honesty? Sorry, but I think that the idea in this video goes against all of the inner game things you said previously. "If you value yourself only as X, then you will attract only women that require X" - this is your quote! I often feel that I'm just a "brain on legs" for the women, and I try to fight this perception. But now you say that I should not fight it, but embrace it and just offer it as a transaction?..
Okay so - If you LIE and pretend to be confident and cocky - then she likes you for that - she's liking you for things that aren't REAL so you never feel like she actulaly likes YOU... If You ARE intelligent, and insightful and you promote that to her and thats why she likes you then you feel like she really does like the real you. That's why this is totally different from lying... My quote is about only valuing superficial things about you. For example, I value my intelligence, and I value my insight ito human psychology, and I value my emotional stability... I attract to myself women who value THOSE things in me - those are IDEAL women for me because they value htings about myself that really matter - the issue with looks is a) people ONLY value looks and nothing else - and b) Looks is dangerous because it changes so easilyi whereas intelligence is pretty fixed your entire life. So it's not unstable.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Sorry, but I don't see any difference. If she likes me for my transactional properties, then she still doesn't like me, only my properties. If I'll get hit with a stone to my temple, and if I will become less intelligent, then she would leave me in a second. If I think that she likes me for my transactional properties, then I will think she likes only them and painfully endures the rest of me (it is a real complex for me, and we with my therapist fight it). And now you say that she will never like me as a whole, with my strong points and my weak points, and suddenly I'm starting to question myself, if all relations are superficial (and both strictly-looks-oriented and strictly-intelligence-oriented relationships are superficial by definition), then why should I ever embark on a journey to be better with women, if I will always feel that I am not appreciated as a whole...
Fascinating/ You say that super hot women are superficial (debatable) and that they would naturally want superficial characteristics in a man.but at 12'53'' you cite an 18 year old not looking for a $ arrangement but looking for a mentor who can teach them about the world/ Yes that's a transaction but it's not superficial? Yes if you're a silver dude and know what to offer the 18 year old, and there are lots of reasons, then you, both, can have success
I never said super hot women are superficial - I said many women who invest all their time in how they look are superficial often we see these as the super hot ones - Also all relationships are transactional. That transaction might be emotional support, or emotional security - in exchange for emotional security and sexual validation for example. But it's still an exhchange. The fact that something is an exchange doesn't make it superficial. Looking for mentorship is less superficial than focussing on money - but more superficial than looking for emotional connection.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Loved this video dude, one of your bests. I learned a lot and now have solidified my goal of becoming a SD someday. (A real one not a fraudster)
I've tried a few sugar dating apps in the U.S. I had 3 'dates' that weren't what I was looking for. They were more like escorts. I'm 53, (but act/look younger), and I'd actually like to meet a younger woman who'd benefit from all of the aspects of sugar dating, but not just in a transactional relationship. I'm flexible, retired, financially secure, love to travel, and I'd like to get serious in a relationship, if I clicked w/someone. I'm in the midwest, which tends to be more conservative, but I may be relocating to the east coast soon. I may just end up going to EUROPE, AUS, SE ASIA to see if I can find that right someone. THANKS FOR THE VIDEO! ✌🏼
Thanks for the feedback! Yeah I imagine sugar dating is a different game again over 50 compared to myself when I did it at 38. I haven't worked with enough clients over 50 on sugar dating sites to really have a feel for how things change there.
7:45 They may meet a few Chads like you say but thats just WHAT SHE WANTS! Are you an ignorant person?? It doesnt matter to them if they are not so complete persons overall! Thats why they complement the beta provider with the alpha who arouses them! You dont want to be the beta, even if you never get to be in a financial situation as good his!
This dude is ridiculous. I bet you he got scammed. Also if you are a guy who wants to play around on Sugar daddy sites please don’t because we are going to notice y’all and you won’t get a chance with us.
Hmm i feel like your really onto something saying that all relationships are transactional arrangements. I assume the difficult part is just the arrangements that aren't superficial such as ones truly based on looks and money. But the ones where a women is looking for her equal whether it's in terms of intelligence , drive or success and a man who is looking for someone supportive and nurturing transactional relationships. While the Superficial ones where it's money in exchange for potential sex are easier and have a higher success rate. It's the ones with exchange of emtions , ones accomplishments or self that are the most complicated.
Absolutely! Because nobody ever really talks about a relationship being fair from a standpoint of my emotional needs aren't being looked after, but I feel like I'm looking aftger all of yours so this isn't working for me..... Well my partner and I have this conversation - but most couples don't.
@@SchoolOfAttraction yeah I can see how it's probably really difficult for people. Because in order to do a emtional transaction so to speak. It would require for someone to know what they want out of a relationship that makes the relationship worth it so to speak. And that would require someone typically to go on more dates or more experiences out of life so one can know what they want. While a economic transaction is less complicated and typically has more success rates cause both parties know what the other party wants. While doing emtional transaction is messy cause emtions are all over the place and can lead to rash actions.
Yes its an interesting perspective, however, there truly is a wage gap between the female and male worker. It's an ancient practice, and sometimes there is no other way to get ahead and have a genuinely happy life, feeling more fulfilled then our mother's who didnt pursue anything due to patriarchy. It's a daring step women have to decide on taking, and are very brave. Interesting video 📹 😊
Yes - although I'm not sure wage gap applies here so much - because the income differences are due to both age and entrepreneurship , and the wage difference women are looking for on these sites far outpaces any wage gap figures. I'd more likely point a figure at the way we still raise girls not to enter entrepreneurship with the gusto that boys are willing to step into the sapce - and of cousse the problem of men (and women) not taking female entrepreneurs as seriously as their male counterparts which makes it harder.
According to what is explained by spiritual teacher, you reach unconditionnal love by growing internally, so doing what you are "supposed to do" is BS, because that's probably not going to be your path of growth. In the end a loving relationship is not going to be transactionnal I would guess, but you have to trenscend/integrate the tendency of it being transactionnal to get there. There is no shortcut.
Despite their desires, the lazy will come to ruin, for their hands refuse to work -------- Proverbs 21:25 The one who is too lazy to look for work is the same one who wastes his life away ----- Proverbs 18:9
Just to say that women in these dating sites are shady at least , most of them they have boyfriends who are really bad boys and they make them do that plus they can blackmail you in the process if you are married. They are asking for ridiculous amounts of money like $ 6.000 per month plus you had to pay for everything when going out , or travelling etc. My advise if you are really want to do this , be very cautious , don't talk money online , don't give your real name or address , tell them that if you see them with someone else there is going to be a serious issue.
All relationships are transactional. Absolute truth spoken here. I'm in my 40s and my sugar arrangement was by far and away the most honest relationship I've ever had. Lot's of different expectations from people in sugar situations just like any other type, but nowhere near the BS, drama, or games.
100%. Even normal meeting someone organically in person then eventually marrying, money is still a factor, it’s just more invisible
I'm not paying to date them, I'm paying them to leave after the date. If I get the drama, the well dries up... and they leave. Works for me.
Kudos to you for pointing out what to me has always been obvious- all relationships are transactional. When I have explained this to people they think I am being cynical suggesting that women only want money but as you pointed out sometimes women (and men) want superficial things and sometimes they want something much deeper. I get the same skepticism from people when I explain dating, sex, love, relationships and marriage from a sociological perspective. Unfortunately most people (men and women) only have a romantic view of these things. As you pointed out knowing what you have to offer and understanding what you value in return is not necessarily unromantic instead it could be the thing that leads to you finding happiness.
Cheers Nathan - I think it's a very confronting psychological shift - and people often only get close to there after they've been badly burned, but then they look at it resentfully rather than realising it doesn't diminish love at all, but makes you realise that love is earned, and it's not forever or automatic.
I'm a senior who wants younger women. To make this happens requires a financial arrangement. Dating with the age gape isn't very practical. Although it takes time to screen and find the right one, the site has worked out for me. I limit my encounters to one a week. Some will repeat and some don't. I prefer repeats to avoid surprises. I've saved myself a trip to southeast Asia.
This is like some next level dating coaching. Some very advanced stuff. Cool.
Viewing relationships as transactional isn't romantic. But one thing a lot of guys need to learn is that most women by nature aren't romantic. Especially those that have experienced that all before
"Most human beings by nature aren't romantic"
Fixed.
Agreed, in my experience women are far more pragmatic about dating.
hypergamy
In my experience women are way more romantic than men. You sound like one of the people that complains tinder is all about looks. Yeah, the app that centers around photographs is going to be about looks.
I'm with Michael -I have no idea who started the idea that women aren't romantic - or that women can't fall in love...
Men on sugardaddy websites be like: I'm not looking for your sex
Women on sugardaddy websites be like: I'm not looking for your money.
Sure.
Oh I should clarify - LOTS of owmen there are looking for a sugar daddy with money to spoil them - But there were a good number of others (maybe 10-20%) who weren't. I know because I was meeting them - no money changing hands, no 'spoiling' or showing the 'high life'
Its because people dont feel good about themselves blatantly saying “gimmie moey or leave” or “gimmie s3x or leave”. People try to justify their needs in a way that sounds moral, not immoral. As a future SD I would let her know that I want more than just the s3x. I want companionship
Great vid bud, on the tech side maybe set to the manual focus and set the flicker reduction to 60Hz instead of 50Hz to stop the monitors in the background pulsing :)
Because the relationship is up front transparent from the start that's what it makes it better than regular relationship Because you are their to be yourself and enjoy the evening. The regular way has too many complications.
I tend to agree with you that basically all relationships in life (including platonic ones) are transactional, apart from maybe parent and child or people who volunteer to help those in need. Perhaps a less jarring way of framing it is in terms of reciprocity and mutuality, but the point still stands - people generally expect an equitable exchange in both friendships and romantic partnerships. In a friendship, it might be that both people listen and provide emotional support relatively equally. Or maybe one friend always pays for lunch while the other always listens, but if both people are satisfied with the arrangement, it can be sustainable. And so on. However, most emotionally stable, mature individuals with a sense of self worth won't hang around in friendships or romantic partnerships that feel too unbalanced long-term.
my key takeaway - Be aware of what you are offering and know where and how best to pitch it! I think it is called Product Market fit in marketing parlance!
Wise video! In the end, every relationship is transactional. Nothing in life is really free.
Am I the only one super annoyed by the way this guy keeps waving his hands in front of his face? Gesturing with your hands while you talk is fine, but why between the camera and your face every few seconds? Totally distracting.
I don’t watch videos like this I just listen
I go into these relationships because they are easier to find traditional relationships. No guessing who's paying. I pay, I receive. They try to lock you down, but the person with the money has the power.
A lot of women would say that they want a guy that is truthful and loves and respects them. So they want a guy that says 'I want an open relationship' or 'I want a monogamous relationship', instead of saying that they want a monogamous relationship, but they still go behind your back.
That is part of the reason why women are going to wind up on seeking arrangement, because if you can not find love, then you might as well get paid for what they are putting out, then every one knows what they are getting. Guy gets no drama, because he does not have to lie about the other arrangements and woman does not have to lie about other arrangements either, so 'Yeah sorry I can not make Monday night because that night I am seeing Suzie/Adam'. It then becomes totally fine to say that, because the woman does not invest too much emotion into the relationship and the guy should know that unless he is paying a lot of money then that woman has bills to pay too and she will be needing to see other guys. It would be great if guys actually loved women enough to be monogamous, but they don't.
😂😂😂
I find the constant use of the word "superficial" oft putting as well as the inference that those value sets are less than. Being beautiful is rare, being really beautiful is more rare than being wealthy. That value shouldn't be downplayed as if in the transaction, it's somehow worth less than intelligence or some personality trait.
Well the difficulty is that you assume the word "superficial" is a negative thing - it simply means 'surface layer' - So in that sense, beauty is superficial by definition. That's always the difficulty with words - they carry different meanings for different people.
For the record - I don't think beauty is 'less than' - I only think it's bad to focus on beauty when it's the ONLY thing you focus on, becasue it will lead to trouble. And people who only focus on beauty tend ot have other emotional issues at the same time.
@@SchoolOfAttraction I'm assuming it because of the focus on the word in more than one of your videos. I think the issue is, most people see superficial as "less than" therfore there's no problem in seeing single issue daters as inherently troubled as you described.
Just taking me as an example, I admire beauty. I see it as rare rather, where this culture has no problem telling us "anyone can be beautiful and its fleeting". These are fallacies, truly beautiful ppl don't reach a shelf life where they morph into Shrek.
Sorry for the length of this. We simply disagree that single issue relationships have as much validity and chance at longevity as any other relationship type. If that issue is tied to what makes two ppl work, they are likely to stay committed. Just my opinion.
Beautiful women are everywhere
Successful, interesting men are rare and valuable
awesome video, as a high value guy in his 20s, im having quite the time on SA
Great perspective! I’ve met a lot of amazing women online.
Bro they baiting you all of them would say they're not after money in truth they are but they're will to be patient to get it since eventually a man will most likely fall for them 🤣🤣🤣
Haha they can bait me if they like - I get want without paying - I think there's a chance that if yoiu're right, their plan is backfiring with me :P
@@SchoolOfAttraction trying to convince your audience that your amazing intellect is getting women to fawn at you without any prospect of money is ridiculous. Of course they want financial compensation eventually!! Having conversations and connection is easy for women. It’s the sexual aspects that you’ll end up paying for down the road. Don’t lie to ppl.
Absolute gold right here Damien!
Well, this is something that men should learn. For women dating is seriously transactional. And they are always looking for a better transaction out there. Men nowadays are way too romantic believing too much in Disney and fairytales. And because they have this overromanticized view, not only does that kill their own attractiveness but women take advantage of them and don't respect them even when they are in a relationship with them. Even the most rich, famous and attractive men like Johny Depp or Brad Pitt are a victim of this. I think that your open relationship is one of the best things to do nowadays. Open relationship or casual dating. Relations like our grandparents had, are history. Women nowadays have too many options and they are not hesitating to go for a better option when it presents itself not caring whatever they built up with their current partner. And online dating has only made this problem worse. Every men has become disposable to women.
Diego - no - for BOTH GENDERS - dating is transactional. This isn't just about one gender at all.
Well said.
Man Im only 23 but having my run with so many rejections from women and horrible experiences with online dating, the idea of becoming a SUg. Dad is sounding so appealing! Im so ready to throw in the towel of modern dating in this ruined dating scene
@@ghostridersinthesky21 Actually I made a fake account on a sugar daddy site last week out of curiosity. I read trough the bio's and it seriously doesn't sound like something I would be interested in. It is a complete win win for the women. Many of them want you to mentor them in how to become rich and you also have to pay a shitload of money for them but they also explicitly put in the bio that they don't want to have sex with you. Sounds like the biggest shitdeal you can make as a man. Spending all your time and money for a woman that has 0 sexual interest in you.
I would advise you to better yourself as a man. First of all, I would avoid online dating. Unless you are really good looking, a head turner, this shit isn't going to work out. Focus on getting in shape. Eat healthy and go to the gym so you look in a nice shape. Dress well, have nice shoes. And then start learning game and approach women in real life. Go do some activities where you can meet girls like for example salsa.
@@DiegoGonzalez-go2qy Aw Im sure thats just a small minority of women on the app who are delusional. Im already fit, I work out 3x a week but that doesn’t change the fact that Im 5ft6 and have a prosthetic eye making me far less attractive than attractive men. Im done getting a hundred rejections and hundreds of hours wasted with traditional dating. I want the convenience of SD/SB relationships and Im willing to pay for it
A rich old man once told me if it floats, flies or f&@$ it’s cheaper to rent🤣
I am a full time submissive lady that is trained to serve master both sexually and domestically. I 'm currently seeking for a new master for a long term relationship.
how to present what I offer?
There is nothing as interesting as an intelligent man, he can mentor you, Lead you in the right direction, and give you security The sugar daddy experience some people get it wrong, some of these men mentor you even without sex they upgrade you and they ask you what are you seeking in this companionship ..they will guide you even help in opening up a business, connect you to a different world..yes you go on expensive dates but you find somebody who values you that's why they are called "Sugar Daddy" and the best part they do not play games ..ha ha ha ha they have no time for that ha ha haaa
yes, a video to tell better What one ofers
It’s really true though. I’ve never done the sugar baby thing. But my girlfriend told me I should. I’m on tinder and CMB and POF, but it’s such shitty matches, always broken or serial killer weird guys...don’t get me wrong I’m open to deep conversation and I’m REALLY good at it, but that’s not the equivalent to fix my entire life. I’m smart, I hold a masters degree, I make my own money, I cook, and clean and from what I’ve been complimented by various men (of all races) I’m gorgeously stunning...but as life would have it, I’m picky. I want a good conversation and a smart adventurous tough handsome man that’s all, but some guys online can’t be that on tinder or other sites.
The open relationship killed it for me..... Who wants to share your woman that's stupid
Exactly. And I don't want to share with ANYONE. It will never flourish that way
Thanks for the insights Damien. Once again you managed to change my mind about something I thought I never would.
That's high praise bud :)
Mate, we live ln the same state, but you must be living in a different Queensland to the one I'm living in.I get 30-50 matches a day from various dating sites and NOT ONE GIRL is willing to meet up under the current quarantine restrictions. NOT A SINGLE ONE.
So I don't know what you're doing or saying, but I'm kinda calling bullshit on this one.
They must not want D*ck as much as we do in Seattle. Lol 😂 I’d risk it for corona lol 😂
Great vid. I opened seeking out of curiosity and to my surprise, I received a few messages and likes after 1 day, even though Im not premium nor I liked any girl.
On tinder I barely have matches so this was a big surprise.
I also have to point out that my profile is ver basic: a two liner description of what I enjoy and a single picture of my face covered in mud haha.
Oh yeah, the roles are definitely reveresed on sugar dating sites!
What kind of experiences or activities do you enjoy sharing with a sugar baby?
Bro. They are gold diggers. Let’s keep it real. Come on man.
80% are yes - But I've had some really great experiences there now.
@@SchoolOfAttraction If you were old, fat, and married like most of the mistress seeking geezers, you probably would have received different treatment. And I think if those women knew you were using them as a social experiment and had no real intention to take care of them long term, they would have ghosted you.
@@blastofo dude doesn’t realize that women are perfectly capable and happy having friendship relationship without sex. He isn’t asking for sex therefore no money needs to be exchanged. But let me tell ya as soon as sex is on the table they will change their tune toward him real quickly.
Business Relationship vs A true loving relationship vs Simp relationship
Great stuff! We all get curios don't we.. 🔥
This just changed my whole perspective and I am no newbie. Props.Thank you , fantastic content.
Thanks Aldo! I'm glad ot know I'm having some impact :)
Hi
1:36 1:37 1:37 1:37 1:38
I think its true that relationships are transactional in a way we are what we can give its part of who we are . for years marriage was a transactional event openly . How many horses will you give the Chief for one of his daughters the more horses you would get the one of your choice. in other cultures how big of a dowry does she have. The old man would build it up so he could marry off his daughters. sometimes it would be two sets of parents making a financial arrangement with there two families . I was told one of my great grandmothers was an indentured servant. a guy came along and paid for her freedom that is a lot to offer. Myself well I don't have anything to offer to make some ones life better .If I was a woman having a kind heart and even just being average looking it would be enough to give but not if you are a guy they want accomplished men they learned how to navigate through life and could take them along for the ride. its the way its supposed to be. if I were a dog I would be a great loving companion just the way I am. very lovable but a man has to be more than a dog. I think because if a women gets a dog she knows what to expect but with a guy she don't know? A dog wont cost that much if it isn't the best or smartest dog . The wrong man her life could fall into ruin much misery. So being superficial isn't a bad thing.
So be aware I pointd out that 'transactional' didn't just mean exchange of fiscal value... Transactional could be that you both want to feel safe so you both need a partner who makes you feel safe. Or you want a partner who makes you feel USEFUL and NEEDED, and she needs a partner who makes her feel DESIRED and INTELLIGENT - That would also be a transaction.
I have no complaints about what you said .I confirming your point about what we call superficial . I was just saying that it makes sense to me how and why women choose there mates ( mates in the American definition ) I especially like the dating website where women were saying exactly what they want . there way of thinking is what mine would probably be if I was female. No confusion is nice. I enjoy your videos .
You are amazing.
The greatest online dating life hack
Is love even real if everything is a transaction?
Tell me a relationship that isn't transactional.
A woman can never really love a man, like a man can love a woman. Once that sinks in, life becomes easier.
I'm going to do a video on just this - To me, love is VERY real - we just need to be aware how selfish love actually is - we love someone because they make us feel certain things consistently therefore we get something out of it, therefore it isn't unconditional, therefore it's transactional, but love still exists... at any rate, watch this space ;)
Diego bud, that's completely untrue. You are very jaded
@@SchoolOfAttraction You are making a statement without backing it up. I can actually back up what I said. The best way to assess love is marriage. 70 % of divorces are filed by women. Why do you think that is ? There are even studies out there that show that when a woman during her marriage gets a higher paying job, she files for divorce. Does that sould like real love to you ? It definitely doesn't to me. Men in general don't file divorce as quickly. In general they don't exchange her older wife for a younger one. That sounds more like true love to me.
He either made this up for views or he doesnt know how to recognize when a woman is investing in the long game to finesse you out of your wallet.
I'm not sure how you figure I'd be losing in this scenario.. I still haven't paid any money to anyone and had lots of great experiences with women far more attractive than I would have met on regular dating sites. If they're hoping to get money later on.. that's their loss isn't it? Not sure how I'd be in trouble here - but happy for you to explain your thoughts...
@@SchoolOfAttraction so you’re talking to them for free. But as soon as sex became part of the equation you’d have to pay. They are entertaining you as a potential and may actually think you’re cool bc women are perfectly capable of friendship without sex. But you’re sort of deceiving your audience by not being completely transparent in the video that you don’t have sex with these women. Some men are going to watch your video and think this means they will get the SEX for free. Most men don’t give af what a woman has to say. They care what’s between her legs. And let’s be HONEST you’re gonna have to PAY for that part of the experience.
Yo dude I respect a lot of your other videos and advice are usually really solid but this one is kinda not your best one man
A tied isn’t gonna announce to you he’s a thief
Nor would a cheater tell you that’s what he’s gonna do to you
These women saying they’re not after money but yet are in these sites are just like the thief and cheater above
They’re not fooling anyone
You forget that I personally know some of these women socially. I know women's bs very well - I smell it out for a living. These women don't mind moey of course. Besides, I've been successfully picking women up there without paying them anything OR them asking for anything so......
@@SchoolOfAttraction Well, the fact that they did not try to get your resources the instant they met you can just mean that they planning on gaining access later, when they gain your trust.
The superficial life and acting, while most marriages end up in divorce any way.
Well done! Absolutely focus on transactions, your insights will be interesting.
eye-opening insights! did you meet with one of the girls?
Yeah, I had time to meet with 4 of them before lock down laws came into place
@@SchoolOfAttraction okay nice! i asked because you did not mention it in your video since i was curious to know if you would come to the same conclusion when you meet them
@@xdbrain he never had sex with them tho. That’s a key point to be made. As soon as sex becomes part of the equation he will be expected to pay money.
The funny thing is when you don't realize the women you are seeing is actually a gold digger. You don't have to have a lot of money to be considered wealthy, a good job, a good business. Success is another word for wealth. Weather that is having your own business or a great job. The 2nd you tell women these things they will be very interested in you, just like in this video. You flaunt your wealth and the flock of women will come.
Great content dude
Cheers dude :) Hope your channel is doing well!
Hi
Boo Dating app
Myers Briggs personality compatibility
Life changer
That site is the definition of pay to play
"open relationships" are a joke. Guys, if you're woman brings up the idea of an open relationship, dump her immediately.
Hey Vsauce Michael here, who is your daddy?
lol - ev en better because I love Vsauce
@@SchoolOfAttractionpretty much everyone loves vsause tbh
You are right
Well, about this transaction stuff. You said multiple times on this channel that if you lie to a woman, you will always think that she likes the lie, not you. So if I offer, for example, my intelligence as a transaction, then I will always feel that she likes my transactional property (intelligence), not me.
Isn't lying just a kind of transaction? And is there a way to feel like she values me as a person, not a very specific transactional part of me, be it lying or honesty?
Sorry, but I think that the idea in this video goes against all of the inner game things you said previously. "If you value yourself only as X, then you will attract only women that require X" - this is your quote! I often feel that I'm just a "brain on legs" for the women, and I try to fight this perception. But now you say that I should not fight it, but embrace it and just offer it as a transaction?..
Okay so - If you LIE and pretend to be confident and cocky - then she likes you for that - she's liking you for things that aren't REAL so you never feel like she actulaly likes YOU... If You ARE intelligent, and insightful and you promote that to her and thats why she likes you then you feel like she really does like the real you. That's why this is totally different from lying...
My quote is about only valuing superficial things about you. For example, I value my intelligence, and I value my insight ito human psychology, and I value my emotional stability... I attract to myself women who value THOSE things in me - those are IDEAL women for me because they value htings about myself that really matter - the issue with looks is a) people ONLY value looks and nothing else - and b) Looks is dangerous because it changes so easilyi whereas intelligence is pretty fixed your entire life. So it's not unstable.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Sorry, but I don't see any difference. If she likes me for my transactional properties, then she still doesn't like me, only my properties. If I'll get hit with a stone to my temple, and if I will become less intelligent, then she would leave me in a second. If I think that she likes me for my transactional properties, then I will think she likes only them and painfully endures the rest of me (it is a real complex for me, and we with my therapist fight it).
And now you say that she will never like me as a whole, with my strong points and my weak points, and suddenly I'm starting to question myself, if all relations are superficial (and both strictly-looks-oriented and strictly-intelligence-oriented relationships are superficial by definition), then why should I ever embark on a journey to be better with women, if I will always feel that I am not appreciated as a whole...
Fascinating/ You say that super hot women are superficial (debatable) and that they would naturally want superficial characteristics in a man.but at 12'53'' you cite an 18 year old not looking for a $ arrangement but looking for a mentor who can teach them about the world/ Yes that's a transaction but it's not superficial? Yes if you're a silver dude and know what to offer the 18 year old, and there are lots of reasons, then you, both, can have success
I never said super hot women are superficial - I said many women who invest all their time in how they look are superficial often we see these as the super hot ones - Also all relationships are transactional. That transaction might be emotional support, or emotional security - in exchange for emotional security and sexual validation for example. But it's still an exhchange. The fact that something is an exchange doesn't make it superficial. Looking for mentorship is less superficial than focussing on money - but more superficial than looking for emotional connection.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Loved this video dude, one of your bests. I learned a lot and now have solidified my goal of becoming a SD someday. (A real one not a fraudster)
But sad thing is this won't happen for younger guys who are looking for mentorship or company
No, I don't imagine it will sadly
Thank goodness I had my father to teach me. Ill be sure to teach my sons
I've tried a few sugar dating apps in the U.S. I had 3 'dates' that weren't what I was looking for. They were more like escorts. I'm 53, (but act/look younger), and I'd actually like to meet a younger woman who'd benefit from all of the aspects of sugar dating, but not just in a transactional relationship. I'm flexible, retired, financially secure, love to travel, and I'd like to get serious in a relationship, if I clicked w/someone. I'm in the midwest, which tends to be more conservative, but I may be relocating to the east coast soon. I may just end up going to EUROPE, AUS, SE ASIA to see if I can find that right someone. THANKS FOR THE VIDEO! ✌🏼
Thanks for the feedback! Yeah I imagine sugar dating is a different game again over 50 compared to myself when I did it at 38. I haven't worked with enough clients over 50 on sugar dating sites to really have a feel for how things change there.
@@SchoolOfAttraction
Thanks for your feedback and your channel content!
They Think 😂somebody owe them some Shit! ......
Your bio... is AMAMZING!!!!
Cheers bud
7:45 They may meet a few Chads like you say but thats just WHAT SHE WANTS! Are you an ignorant person?? It doesnt matter to them if they are not so complete persons overall! Thats why they complement the beta provider with the alpha who arouses them! You dont want to be the beta, even if you never get to be in a financial situation as good his!
This dude is ridiculous. I bet you he got scammed. Also if you are a guy who wants to play around on Sugar daddy sites please don’t because we are going to notice y’all and you won’t get a chance with us.
Great advise!
Damien would be great to finish your sentences. I lost the ability to go back on your train of thought.
Hmm i feel like your really onto something saying that all relationships are transactional arrangements. I assume the difficult part is just the arrangements that aren't superficial such as ones truly based on looks and money. But the ones where a women is looking for her equal whether it's in terms of intelligence , drive or success and a man who is looking for someone supportive and nurturing transactional relationships. While the Superficial ones where it's money in exchange for potential sex are easier and have a higher success rate. It's the ones with exchange of emtions , ones accomplishments or self that are the most complicated.
Absolutely! Because nobody ever really talks about a relationship being fair from a standpoint of my emotional needs aren't being looked after, but I feel like I'm looking aftger all of yours so this isn't working for me..... Well my partner and I have this conversation - but most couples don't.
@@SchoolOfAttraction yeah I can see how it's probably really difficult for people. Because in order to do a emtional transaction so to speak. It would require for someone to know what they want out of a relationship that makes the relationship worth it so to speak. And that would require someone typically to go on more dates or more experiences out of life so one can know what they want. While a economic transaction is less complicated and typically has more success rates cause both parties know what the other party wants. While doing emtional transaction is messy cause emtions are all over the place and can lead to rash actions.
spot on
Yes its an interesting perspective, however, there truly is a wage gap between the female and male worker. It's an ancient practice, and sometimes there is no other way to get ahead and have a genuinely happy life, feeling more fulfilled then our mother's who didnt pursue anything due to patriarchy. It's a daring step women have to decide on taking, and are very brave. Interesting video 📹 😊
Yes - although I'm not sure wage gap applies here so much - because the income differences are due to both age and entrepreneurship , and the wage difference women are looking for on these sites
far outpaces any wage gap figures. I'd more likely point a figure at the way we still raise girls not to enter entrepreneurship with the gusto that boys are willing to step into the sapce - and of cousse the problem of men (and women) not taking female entrepreneurs as seriously as their male counterparts which makes it harder.
Name the site
BRAHMIN SEVA seeking arrangements
😂
Society trains you to believe in unconditional love; Real life is it’s ALL transactional
According to what is explained by spiritual teacher, you reach unconditionnal love by growing internally, so doing what you are "supposed to do" is BS, because that's probably not going to be your path of growth.
In the end a loving relationship is not going to be transactionnal I would guess, but you have to trenscend/integrate the tendency of it being transactionnal to get there. There is no shortcut.
@@charleswood1703 You're deluded. Love is ALWAYS transactional, unless it's your blood family, such as your mother and father.
Despite their desires, the lazy will come to ruin, for their hands refuse to work
-------- Proverbs 21:25
The one who is too lazy to look for work is the same one who wastes his life away
----- Proverbs 18:9
Just to say that women in these dating sites are shady at least , most of them they have boyfriends who are really bad boys and they make them do that plus they can blackmail you in the process if you are married. They are asking for ridiculous amounts of money like $ 6.000 per month plus you had to pay for everything when going out , or travelling etc. My advise if you are really want to do this , be very cautious , don't talk money online , don't give your real name or address , tell them that if you see them with someone else there is going to be a serious issue.
He talks about unattractive and uninteresting guys - he should know them well. Takes one to know one.
Crap