I married a sister scholar shaikha and I'm suffering
Вставка
- Опубліковано 3 жов 2024
- Marry a woman for 4 reasons. How men make a huge mistake in picking deen superficially.
Why not sponsor this video or other videos for 3 $ a month? Yes you can get the reward and help me educate people around the world 🌎.
Click / galromaani
or send via PayPal gibreelk@gmail.com
Order my NEW BOOK Journal of a New Muslim newmuslimjourn...
MY grandpa and Grand Mother lived happily untill they die. why? I see when my grandfather wakes up for fajr my grand mother used to make coffe and I saw my grandfather buying pan cakes from shop for my grand mother who pray at home after they had coffee and pan cakes together and start their day.
That's really sweet. Now we can wake from that dream and come back to the 21st century 🤣
That's not quite why but the habit is cute ofcourse Mashaa Allah
@@Freedom4PalestineEndZioNazism we should make dua to Allah rather than being sarcastic
@@muneebibnimtiaz9879 be humourous bruv, and make dua too 😂
@@Freedom4PalestineEndZioNazism ask you wish brother Assalamoaliakoam warahmatulah he wabarakatuhu
“ it doesn’t matter how much Quran or idjazah she knows but how much she applies” that’s a good one ☝️
If husband cares about the wife rights and the wife cares about the husband rights, then
In Sha Allah that marriage is going to be successful
She got married without understanding the rights of the spouses.
Islam is a way of life, so Deen includes Taharah, and looking after house and husband’s needs, and to show respect.
When I decided to cover I was a little bit like this sister except that I don’t have her knowledge and I love dressing sexy for my husband and taking care of myself
This always cost me my marriage to a good man
Fortunately, I love having friends that have more knowledge than I and two of them advised me to prioritize my husband and may Allah reward both of them with Jannatul alFurdaus ameen
Then I reduced the number of classes or took classes while my husband is at work
So dear sister understand your beautiful Deen; our husbands are our priorities
I don’t care what feminists would say about this
I want Jannah and for that I have to respect my husband and be an obedient wife; may Allah makes it easy for all sisters to be obedient to their husbands which I’m struggling with like many others
May Allah bless and reward you for your effort. And may your husband appreciate that.
@@sweettea1193 really?
@@sweettea1193 Men are a lot of work? Bro....
@@sweettea1193 Haha, this freedom applies to men too. In the end truth is, both Women and Men are better of being free to do whatever halal they want while being in love and dedicated to Allah SWT only as is intended for our soul reality.
@@sweettea1193 Dearest sister, I recommend praying 2 rakah prayer and then saying dua istekhara. Ask Allah whether it is better for you to marry or better for you to stay single.
In the dua for istekhara, you say that Oh Allah, if you know that it's good for me to get married, then make it happen, make it easy, and then put barakah (blessing) in it. And if you know that it's bad for me to get married, then turn marriage away from me (make it not happen) and turn me (my heart and desire) away from marriage.
Sister, Allah knows what is best for us and we don't know. Trust in Allah completely and let him take care of you completely. Ask him to give you the absolute best of everything.
It is easy for Allah to give you a spouse who is perfect for you in absolutely every way. Allah is able to do all things.
This is the exact opposite of what people with knowledge are
The more knowledge you have, the more humble will the person be
The moment my wife would say "you're a mushreek" is the moment the end of my marriage is heavily considered.
I AM on same sitiation and hi think hi Marry with a evil
@@adilahmakeup7069 tell her to behave or wife number 2 coming in 3...2..1...
@@Farhan_in_Delhi i think that's a sister you replied to lol
Na, for me it's not matter of consideration. The moment she says that she basically puts takfir on me. That's when she goes back to her parents
@@yosrwalid6359😂😂😂
People are confusing having knowledge with piety. It doesn't matter how much knowledge anyone has, you cannot overstep the bounds of what Allaah has prescribed.
He married the idea of her; she married the idea of marriage as ibadah. Now reality is showing them the consequence of the choices.
how do you know when you have only heard of the situation second hand? and without the input of the sister?
@@emma647 because I have loved people for the idea of them and what they represented to me, and I have been loved by people for the idea of what I represented to them. It's something all human beings that are either emotionally stunted and wounded, or lack emotional maturity do.
We pursue ideals rather than reality because dealing with reality is too much for our hearts to handle.
I don't need to hear her side; I was her up until a few years ago, and I've experienced men like him too.
@@faridaashu5505 That's deep 💯
@@faridaashu5505 In Islam, we don't draw off of "ideas". We have a living example in the Sunnah that shows us exactly what marriage is supposed to be like.
@@deedeee6271 I agree with you. Does my comment say or imply otherwise?
Did she marry him just so he can pay for the lessons!? Perhaps it's time she enrolled in a marriage course...😐
It’s not a real story
@sara4hayati it is. He’s speaking based on the messages/emails he receives...
That's why you should choose someone with character and akhlaaq. Just because someone is religious or so they appear doesn't mean anything without knowing their character
Perfect character is something very very very important! True
Its important to note that Good character is from the sunna. So i think it's wrong to insinuate that the religious condition is somehow less important then good character. Because good character is a branch of Islaam. And a branch alone can never compare to the tree. I know that you didn't mean it that way, but it was what came to my mind naturally after reading your comment.
@@yassersharif brother my point was., to not only focus about how religious he is because there's a lot of men that are praying 5 times masjid and who have Islamic knowledge but there character stinks. Though Islam suppose to Sharpen our character alot don't care. And just to let you know that character alone can make a big difference when you are in a marriage. Just read this hadith carefully and tell me character alone doesn't work.
Narrated Abu Huraira:
Some people asked the Prophet: "Who is the most honorable amongst the people?" He replied, "The most honorable among them is the one who is the most Allah-fearing." They said, "O Allah's Prophet! We do not ask about this." He said, "Then the most honorable person is Joseph, Allah's Prophet, the son of Allah's Prophet, the son of Allah's Prophet, the son of Allah's Khalil." They said, "We do not ask about this." He said, "Then you want to ask me about the Arabs' descent?" They said, "Yes." He said, "Those who were best in the pre-lslamic period, are the best in Islam, if they comprehend (the religious knowledge
Hmmm, but religious how do you know they’re religious? By their akhlaaq!! You mean try to avoid liars
True. Allah says merry smb religious and WITH good character.
This is because she doesn't know the rights of the husband and priorities of life. So she's not religious in the first place! A person who has correct understanding of Deen and practices it, would never do this.
Exactly at this moment it’s just cherry picking
Forget the rights of the Husband in this case. Becuz one is extreme in her religion, that is the main problem. If she is not taking care of herself, her husband or kids then that is a problem. Not to mention rights of the Husband goes un respected.
@@haketyu7891 Where in Islam, if applied correctly, would cause a women to not take care of herself??
@@deedeee6271 Nothing. That is exactly my point. In Islam u must take care of urself, and ur family, and u r extreme in ur religion if going to the mosque 24/7 or reading the Quran sm to the point where ur neglecting ur responsibilities.
Whether it is a man or woman. No one should ignore their responsibilities.
Exactly....
I like this. I don't see many people in Dawah talking about this issue, and it's there. Jazaka Allahu kharian, brother Gabriel.
There are some men like this as well, they should marry sister's like these ones lol
So true!
No habibi... They no longer vibe in the same frequency so it creates a mismatch.. Wallah I find this really interesting....
Can you imagine the PDFs? Lol
Akhlaq is important.
Birds of a feather flock together.
Alhamdullilah I like this topic. I love Islam it teaches me how to become a woman behave as a woman ,a wife and a mother. Now Alhamdullilah since I study Fiqh. My husband was happy for me because I am more romantic and I am more respectful towards him and I am now gentle towards him. Alhamdullilah I love Islam. And I am excited to share with my daughter the books I have read. It really helps me a lot. Reading Islam books helps woman to become a good woman.
Ma Sha Allah 💛. Do you mind sharing which books you’ve read? Thanks 😊
@Lala I will get in touch with you soon, I have to go through with in my computer files. But I have a hard book it is called Islamic Etiquette You can buy online: their email address is ipbbooks@gmail.com. I am now in Kuwait may be this is only in Kuwait.
@@artness2012 Thank you!! I will definitely check it out in Sha Allah 🤗
@@lala_5683 what books were they?
Can u share the names of the books?! Thank you very much
May Allah reward you for talking about this. It was very useful.
I see a lot of brothers putting down "religious women" in the comments because of this instance. First of all, the women described in the video is not "religious". Because if she were, she would know that her rights towards her husband is extremely huge in islam. Rasoolullaah ﷺ said to one woman that her status in paradise will be in accordance with how much her husband is pleased with her. So if she was actually religious, she would definitely not have done what the above "sheikha" did to her husband. Does she not know what priorities are in islam?
Lol i never knew this extreme existed in a marriage.
Good that you know now I guess
It sounds like the spubs online group of ex-cons.
What happened?plz give a summaryy..
@@rubariaz6267 I mostly forgot but i think its about a woman who focuses on her own deen in an extreme way to the point that she neglects her husband
@@onlyallahisworthyofworship5599 ohh ok..Sad to hear this..Allah has commanded us to balance Deen with this Dunya..Allah hasn't appreciated a person who only cares about Deen n ignore the Dunya..Even Prophet Mohammad(S.A.W) n his companions participated in the wordly affairs..
I am always wondering how should I choose a life companion. Jazaka Allaho khayran for helping me realize some of the aspects of this topic. I also love niqab, actually it's my priority (because I know myself I am very jalouse I can't stand see someone looking at a woman who I am their mahram) but at the same time I don't disregard the other criteria. Sometimes things may appear small but in the long run they have huge impact. I honestly believe that allah has alreay choosen the pairs and that I should make good decisions. May Allah bless you and everyone carying the love for this ummah and may allah guide us.
Don’t fall for her words such as “I love to memorize qur’an , I’d love a husband who leads me to jannah and etc..” before marriage. Just try and find out the facts about her. Her achievements in deen and her conduct with her parents and everyone else. The main thing in my opinion are authentic islamic knowledge and akhlaq!
Could you elaborate 🤔
@@thedemoman1813 yes. Before marrying someone don't rush and do a good research about the candidate. As in the video the brother said, one can be well educated islamicly but when it comes on practicing he/she doesn't have hikmah or doesn't know priorities.
Here we say if you want to examine a women behavior, see her relations with her mother. Of course exceptions exist.
@@shahkaleem6601 I would say her relationship with her father is more indicative of your future with her, than her relationship with her mother
Sayida Aisha was the most pious and knowledgeable woman at the same time the most caring and feminine who brought joy to the house of our prophet peace be upon him. May Allah be pleased with her
Yes because she was to our prophet S.A.W, which men could compete with him ?NONE
@@anonymousanonymous870 Allah asked us to take prophets and prophet Muhammad as model to follow same with sahaba and sahabiyat. We cannot be prophets but following them and doing ones best to behave like they did is possible.
For anyone bashing the sister and niqab' s in general, be mindful of your speech. Allah is just.
I love seeing sisters with niqaab it raises my imaan
🤔
Are you talking about Gabriel? If you are, you did not get anything from this video.
No sane Muslim would ever bash niqabs.... covering is a part of islam
@@Farhan_in_Delhi you don’t know people’s intention on why they are wearing. Most wear it so they can go and do what the want without being seen by someone that knows them.
Subhanallah the sister sounds like she's so in love with the deen that she has no room in her life to love a man and children and would probably have been better off staying single on her path of seeking knowledge etc.
But marriage and raising kids is also part of the deen
@@rajababy2009 yes marriage and children are part of the deen but marriage isn't fard/obligatory except for the one who fears falling into zina and some people cannot conceive children even if they want to and there are some who spend years searching for a spouse but never get married because it's not part of their decree. A person's worth is not connected to their marital status and ability to bear children.
You have to remember why Allah put us on this earth which is to worship him and we only have one chance in this life to save our soul from the pain of the punishment in the hereafter.
Not every single man/woman is going to be exactly the same, for some muslims doing just the basics and enjoying family life is something they are able to remain steadfast upon but for other muslims, they may be weaker and need to do lots of nawafil acts to maintain the basic fard acts and the reality is that there are some men and women who are at their best eemaan when single.
I'm not defending the sister's behaviour as she is neglecting the rights of her family which she will be held accountable for. I'm simply highlighting that for some muslims, they either aren't ready for marriage or they want to live their life in a way which is not compatible with raising a family. Allah knows best...maybe I'm looking at it from a different angle because I'm a revert.
It could also be ego. Studying to make you think that you're good and such. What matters is that you practice the Deen adequately without arrogance.
@@l.k1992 Im born into the deen but i agreed with every word you said. You've taken into account that each person has a different nature. Some fail in areas where others succeed under the same circumstances and vice versa. Whatever Allah decreed for you is going to happen and you cannot fight that. It's possible for some people to have a higher emaan when remaining single but struggle in their deen when having family commitments bc their soul is searching for a personal experience with their creator. They might see having commitments to their family as some kind of setback in their spiritual growth in terms of attaining knowledge and increasing in nawafil ibaadah. I understand that marriage is a highly recommended sunnah but I agree that not every person is up for the amount of self sacrifices required to maintain a happy and functional family unit when they feel they can build a stronger imaan independently.
you're right a lot of shouyoukh didn't get married because the only love of their life is allah, it seems like this sheikha was forced by her community when she wasn't made for marriage
"I feel like I'm living with the police"
6:50
That put a smile on me face
Sometimes your spouse is your trial.
I agree
All da time😜
Ofcourse. Everything is a trial.
Aameen Aameen Aameen 😕🥺🤐
May allah make it easier for us!
Alhumdulliah this is a good reminder for all of us sisters. we complain left and right and centre without fulfilling the basic right of the poor husbands. I as wondering why the Ulama was so quiet on this issue. I can see as soon as some woman starting to know their deen they start crushing the husban like an ants. I see these kind of behavior in our society and this question was playing in the back of my mind. May Allah guide us to the straight path. Ameen.
And then they blame us for bring scared of "empowered Muslim girls who know the most niche rulings of Talaq and Khilafa".
so what women aren't supposed to know their deen ? men invent deen and none critics them but as soon as a woman gets close to her creator people need to "put her back in her place"
but at the same time if a woman isn't religious everyone bashes her,Alhamdoulillah Allah is just and we can rely on him
@@boredshrimp9425 Every Muslim needs to know the basic minimum yes. But no need of PhD and degrees.
@@absolutelynobody3837 we very much also need degrees and PhD's
@@boredshrimp9425 stop being an idiot. Obeying your husband and asking his permission to do SUNNAH acts is DEEN. You being ungrateful and neglectful of your husband due to doing nafl acts without his permission is only going to get you in hell. The deen is to obey the husband, not to fight against him. Your door to Jannah is your husband, so why do you find excuses to disobey and degrade him by neglecting him?
Men, dont think that marrying a 'righteous' muslim who rejects your rights to fast involuntarily, you aren't making the right decision. Marrying helps strengthen your imaan because it helps you lower your gaze, it prevents you from falling into zina, it helps you love a woman in halal way. But if you marry someone who doesn't give you your rights, you will most likely fall into the same sins that you wanted to prevent yourself from through marriage.
Women, prioritise your husbands. Its not derogatory to obey him, it elevates your status. Even if a woman fasts all her life to gain rewards but she neglects her husbands rights, what is the use of her sunnahs when she doesnt fulfills her fardh obligations?
If a woman only fasts in Ramadan, and only prays fardh salahs but fulfils all her duties and responsibilities, In Sha Allah she will be rewarded with paradise.
Well said sister.
I hate it when people become extreme on following Islam and think they are right
I agree some people don't understand balance... They become so extreme they don't have time for their parents, wife & kids etc. As they are attending some religious seminar etc in another city.
@@kasimshaikh3750 OH MY GOD. EXACTLY!!! And they think they are doing good
@@Olachi you perfectly summarised what I actually meant
Seriously??? Is thats a major problem right now? Muslims are being abused and oppressed and niqab is getting banned and Palestine children and women and men are being murdered and ughrya Muslims are being tortured and you hate Muslims following Islam properly????? Are you kidding?
People please stop fighting and arguing with fellow Muslims and instead unit to defend Islam against the hatres and the oppresses. Please. May Allah guide and strengthen the Muslim ummah and unite us during the times of problems. Ameen.
Makes total sense, thank you for sharing this profound advice. JazakAllah Khair
I know as women it's hard to take this advice, but what the brother said is haqq and if only we take heed before it's too late
There's something wrong with her understanding of the religion! Because she takes care of the Sunnah while neglecting some of the fards !!! That's so strange! I've never seen such an excuse! like leaving your kids with their grandma just because you listening to lectures !!!! You can manage seeking knowledge and listening to lectures while the kids are sleeping, but not leaving them with someone else!
May Allah SWT guide her and keep her firm upon the straight path of Islam.
this world is strange , a person practice religion does not mean he or her Understand it Completely and i saw many people who turn religious become extreme in practice
i don't think she likes her husband anymore, she is not in love and they should divorce.
@James Joe there is if you're doing it for the sake of bunch of degrees.
True
Why is it wrong to leave your kids with someone else to seek knowledge about your Deen but okay when it's to pursue a master degree? It's unpractical to suggest that a woman needs to spend all her time with her kids.
This is why brothers need to wake up. Niqab doesn't make a sister pious. They need to think about the marriage and what they want from it and what it entails. I don't understand why people don't talk about these issues when they are looking for a righteous spouse. Ask about the day to day compatibility issues.
But a woman showing the world,what needs to be hidden, is far away from deen
What is the meaning of day to day compatibility issues? Could you elaborate?
@@Azhar_shaikh1 We do not know who enters jannah and who doesn't. There is a sahih hadith about a zania from bany israil who entered jannah because she gave a thirsty dog some water.
Second point a woman who does not wear niqab or hijab even but satisfies her husband can have higher status in the eyes of allah than the niqabi who does not take care of her husband.
Conclusion: there are priorities in life and marriage. For a woman, the highest priority is to please the husband as long as it is not haram
Same thing with brothers with beards, and thobes etc..... wallahi you cannot tell these days.
@@hamzabenkhaldoun how'd you know if a woman will satisfy you before marriage?
Yeah I know a brother who married a girl like that, best advice I said "divorce her" your life is gonna be better, at least you ain't gonna suffer bro.
Eating dirty, not being clean, doesn’t take care of the house is all the reverse of what sunnah teach us.
Maybe he should have asked her before marriage about her duties towards her husband after marriage.....she didn't learn this topic did she.....shows she wasn't ready for marriage that's for sure.
Just coz a sister has knowledge or covers doesn't mean she will be a good wife. She has to fear Allah SWT in all aspects of her life.
She doesn't need a marriage. She is acting self sufficient. She is getting satisfaction in her teaching or studying and neglecting her family.
It's time for a talk....was she always like this? Or did she gradually move away from her duties and respect of her husband? Why did he wait this long to complain and have kids with her if he wasn't happy with her attitude?
If they can't resolve things, then they should separate. If she can't look after kids, he should take them. And he should get married again and this time, plz plz plz, ask the woman what she expects out of a marriage, and what she expects of him.
This is probably the most balanced and wise comment
I am married with having all 3 qualities but not wealth. I am glad. Piousness, good family back ground, and other qualities are common in Pakistani girls. Thanks God.
MashaAllah 🙂
Maa shaa Allah
Hehe yes
After listening to this, I'm surprised women like this exist, mashalla I thank Allah for having the most ladylike, beautiful, clean and pious wife Allhamdolillah, and definitely clean and looks after herself and my children, but it's good that you touch on sisters like that, that also must exist and I feel sorry for those brothers that are faced with such problems from their wife's, sisters should take heed from your talks brother, as this would surely be a road to disaster and would make a man want to look elsewhere eventually.
Positive Sunnah =
🍃Positive Energy =
POSITIVE persons =
Be w/ Positive Nations =🌱 Success w Happiness🌿= Heaven on Earth🌵Positive Sunnah PBUH🌴Positive energy
❤️BE WITH POSITIVE ppl🌿
unfortunately I experienced this first hand with my first wife. She acted all religious but in action she was a bad wife, didn't respect me and tried to control me. She was a master manipulator. That goes to show akhlaq is a huge part of the deen, regardless how religious she claims to be
@Sohaib Siddiqui brother you're right in hindsight I should have, you live and learn..
@@ctrlaltdelete321 brother can you please advise im currently looking for a wife , what should i look out for?
Allahumma barik..provided me with a new perspective..
Horrorable, i think there is some feminisme in there although she does not realise.
Sometimes it seems there are no good stories these days, its either bad or badder or baddest, and in many cases straight evil, may Allah give us sabr to bare the burdens.
Bad or badder or baddest 😂😂😂
You are gonna end up with a ‘grumpy mufti’! 😂. Subhanallah everything you said is true brother. May Allah protect us.
6:50 And that's exactly why they say, true taqwa dosent necessarily come from knowledge...and not reading up everything or trying to read everything makes you knowledgeable
That's when you get a second wife and tell her go look for a fatwa that stops me
But then u still have to provide for her etc. She's taking it easy coz he is providing for her, but once it affects this, and he stops paying for the internet and her phone line and other things like food, then she will think again.
If she still doesn't change and is rude, leave her. Why provide for her and keep her?
@@ujabali6470 You see with women you just gotta show them that other women would want you, and then they'll get their self together. SubhanaAllah they're very competitive, you just have to tap into their competitive and jealous nature.
@@ae3172 yeh but this one doesn't seem to love her husband. She's only benefitting financially. Doubt she would get jealous. So if money stops, she would open her eyes and come to her reality.
@@ujabali6470 Although I agree with you, you have to spend money on her because it's her rights Islamically speaking. She's still his wife.
I genuinely believe if he married another woman without telling her directly, but still letting her find out that he's married for example not spending the night at home or his families and not answering the phone.
She'll get the message.
Then she'll either have to divorce him and he has a new wife alhamdulilah or she can't get herself together and she now has 2 wives.
@Adam cool six Talking from emotion is never fact. get outta here.
He is right about the farz of a wife towards her husband, after the farz of deen, then comes sunnah prayers and fasts and I abadat, also if the wife keeps sunnah fasts without seeking her husbands permission the sawab goes to her husband! Marriage life is about compromise and respect... two people and one goal... a woman’s farz is her family duties towards her husband and children... massive duty bringing up next gen Muslims.... but I will say marriage is also about parda of each other’s faults and communication is important.
She is not into him. She's using religion as a weapon.
At first I didn’t understand what you meant. I might have gotten a little defensive 😂 but once I watched the full video I understand where you’re coming from. It isn’t just memorising and studying the deen but applying it. Once you apply it, the pieces fall into place anyway. Great video!
I love how in videos like this, when it's in favor of the female, without knowing the guy's side, all the girls are like "yaaasss queen, know your rights". And when it's not in their favor, it's time to be "objective", and they remember all their hadith
Lmfaooo true.
Well not me, this chick is insane
@@stariehearts2366 yeah I feel you, she very well could be. I'm just saying that if people want to be objective then they should be across the board
Hahahahahahaaaaa, im finished brother as this is exactly true. The sisters out there have trouble dealing with their own accountability.
True
By the way, I don't know if you read this, but if you do. Could you make a follow-up about what men are supposed to do after they married such women. This is kind off a hindsight video where 'they should've looked into other qualities and not just deen'. But what if they're already married?
The man should speak to a Sheikh and the womans parents and do the Islamic way of consultation. One representative from the girls side and one from the mans side.
She definitely crossed all lines
This is the best definition of her .
Good housewife/mother with basic Islamic knowledge, doing her wajibat and listening to the husband is the best recipe for a good marriage
Well said 👍
Same applies for good husband, these students of knowledge and what not are so problematic.
@@Zazezoo Nah, Husband and wife has different gender roles in Islam. About the basic Islamic knowledge and wajibat, it's true.
@@Zazezoo First apply to yourself and then think of others. This is so disturbing that whenever someone says anything about the duties and responsibilities of wives there will always be some girls who say husband should follow instead of reflecting on themselves.
Why basic? Any woman or man who knows is not like the one who doesn’t. Having more knowledge is supposed to show in someone’s actions. So automatically that should translate into being better in all your relationships because you would be more mindful of Allah and the halal and the haram. Nobody should settle with basic information especially in the religion of Allah SWT. If knowledge isn’t humbling you you’re doing it wrong! I ask Allah SWT to make us amongst those who listen and apply! Ameen!
Really educational video for a young man looking to get married soon, thank you bro JazakhAllah Khair
You raise some good points but you fail to mention that men also go to the extremes of Deen and can neglect their duties to their wife, children and home. I think to avoid ruffling feathers your arguments should consider both genders. Men can decide to focus only on Deen and not even work, give attention to their wife or children. They can also constantly tell the wife everything she does is haram and cause mental disturbance. Goes both ways.
Working is an obligation, so it's under Deen
And telling his wife to stop doing haram like music, backbiting is also obligatory cause a HUSBAND IS LIKE A SHEPHERD who looks after the sheeps and is responsible
@@aatif7518 no She is right opposite also exists
@@rajababy2009 u brother aur say then why opposite exists is?
Definitely true. Firstly, I don't understand why a so called shaykha would marry someone with less knowledge?? A wife likes to look up to her husband, so she will always feel superior in this aspect I'm sorry to say. She should have married someone who she could respect and look up to and love. She definitely married the wrong guy and she isn't being fair to him.
I don't know what made this man marry a sheikha. It's enough that she has basic understanding of Deen and prays and covers. Hope he didn't marry her for showing off purpose that hey I married an Alima or sheikha!
She doesn't have to wear niqab to be religious. But it's a bonus.
Wonder who is responsible for making these two get married??? Bad match indeed.
@@ujabali6470 she actually doesn't ACT upon the the deen
She has to act upon it, if she had done she could be a better wife
Astagfiruallah.... feel so sorry for him! SubhanAllah May Allah guide her to the straight path and May Allah protect us all and grant us spouses and offspring to bring comfort to our eyes. Ameen
Everyone should read Surah Al Furqan :74
That ayat has a beautiful duaa regarding spouses and offspring❤️
Finding a learned woman who can strike the balance in this matter is very rare, in fact I have never encountered one. Either they are completely ignorant either they are from the haram police.
May Allah grant us wives that will be the coolness of our eyes as Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her) was to Mohammad (alayhi salatu wa salam)
Reason being is because families do not bring these issues up to the girl. They carry on with the wrong behavior and attitude and no one challenges them. Parents included, any criticisms that come their way they’ll turn it around and call you misogynistic or narcissistic.
Just look at our sisters or daughters would we them as wives, think not!
@@SunShine-iy4ik I think as an adult we should not wait for people to express verbally their opinion about our behavior to realize that something is wrong, especially if you are knowledgeable. We should develop a self awareness that can allows us to admonish ourselves when we are straying away from the right path (the middle path). This is ultimate goal of Islamic knowledge : guidance.
Not everybody will be blessed with friends or relatives that are knowledgeable enough and wise enough to see what is wrong in our behaviors and find the words to make us see those mistakes and help us correct them.
In addition, learned people tend to accept advice less easily from people they perceived as less knowledgeable than them. It should not be the case ; knowledge should make more humble. However this is a caracteristic you see in many students of knowledge. Therefore, no one in their entourage would dare give them an advice.
I need a loving sheikha or just a soft women whom i will love i just dont like being angry it hurts me.
Avoid using haram police it's favourite thing of liberals
I was talking to one sister who started off each sentence with “Inshallah, or Alhamdulillah” wears hijab, prays 5 times a day and always fasted but was an entitled narcissist and a gold digger.
If you are unhappy you need to talk to your wife about that. Sit down with her and talk about what's wrong. And if the marriage doesn't work divorce is a halal option.
Don't encourage divorce it's become a joke now.ALLAH only gave the choice of divorce in most extreme cases best is to be patient with each other.
@Joe Average Never mind ALLAH is watching them and all of us we will be answerable to our actions.
Well said marriage is a balance of acceptance understanding and give and take as sisters we have responsibilities likewise they also should support their wife in housework children etc so she actually has time for him and time to beautify herself so she can be the princess he wants .
I have to say this! You are amazing! May Allah SWT shower you with mercy
My wife almost fell into this extreme till I told her that I will get another wife to fulfill where she comes short and that was the end of that. She doesn't want a co-wife and I always tell her don't give me a reason
Just don't overdo that.
Yeah I mean you know your wife but I'm afraid she might resent part of the deen of Allah if you threaten that all the time. Personally I'm married alhamdulillah and I find the Quranic method is best. Naseeha, then seperation from the bed. It only got to step 2 one time and that lasted like 30 minutes lol Allahu alim
Best weapon a Muslim man has is to tell the wife I'll marry another if she's continuously on a bad behaviour.
@@Farhan_in_Delhi Not really, you should approach it with hikmah.
@@holdshiftt2run308 HAHAHAHA
I could never be with a spouse this religious. A huge turn off
I like this its diffrent thank u.
Just yesterday my husband wanted to u know...so I refused because I was thinking of how I'd have to take a shower because I need to do fajr on time so refused so he went to sleep and it got me thinking that I just neglected being a good wife I just rejected my husband who just wanted love so will my prayer be accepted? No so I woke him up InshaAllah and you know the rest. My point is taking care of your husband kids yourself your home is important so is salah you don't neglect one for the other.
The women seems to bea jahil not a sheikhah. Having lots of information doesn’t mean knowledge, wisdom, or understanding.
SubhanaLah this is more common amongst religious men but this is the result of lack of understanding. we are all humans and we all need guidance no matter how educated we are, May Allah guide us all.
Instead of advising brothers to reconsider Deen in their future wife, we should advise parents to educate their daughters and sisters to educate themselves before marriage about rights and priorities.
Lets hear what the wife has to say, as Muslims lets be objective.
Always listen too both sides of the story before judging . As a coin has two sides ,?
The sister may have her side of story too.
Referring to the story of daweud alehislaam
When a man came to him complaining about his brother regarding 99 sheep etc
Allah says listen to both sides before making judgement
And be just .
I mean at this point it is already clear what is going on here.
There is literally no excuse for a believer to act this way. No reason to view two sides when Truth ahs been made clear from falsehood.
No need to suffer..she is not into marriage..let her go.find someone else
They have children, it's better to try to solve the problem if it be solved instead of simply abandoning it and making the life of the kids worse.
@OnePlus 7T if she doesn't like him or he doesn't like her anymore, what's the point of that?
@OnePlus 7T if they both don't love eachother and he gets a second wife and gets his fulfillement and love through that, where does she get hers? Wouldn't this in the long term cause fitnah and not necessarily through zina but also in other ways, for eg could cause fitnah by how she raises and teaches her kids about husband wife relationship in Islam or their duty to one another etc her kids themselves will see how dead or loveless the marriage and treat their future spouses that way etc
@OnePlus 7T divorce is discouraged if done for no reason or something that isn't serious. Both spouses not wanting to be with one another but remaining anyway is a slow death for the both them. If you can't give one another their rights, and don't like one another then divorce could be better.
I feel sorry to hear that such type of women do exist who knows the entire Islam but have no understanding about the rights of husband and children.May Allah guide us wisdom in practicing Deen.
The brother Gabriel says hygiene is essential! Both for male and female.
Knowledge alone does NOT equal taqwa (piety)
Very true
May Allah subhanah wata Allah give us the understanding of our Deen and Qur'an 🤲
Video quality top notch 👍
This reminder is in no any way upsetting Sheikh. It is a very crucial reminder to all practicing sisters. After all, Jannah is the ultimate goal isn't it?
Allahumma baarik. May Allaah (Azza wa Jal) reward you abundantly.
You are absolutely correct and I don’t disagree with you at all but if you aren’t following authentic narrations about being available for your husband when he wants you , or being the nurturer for the children, smelling good for you husband etc, then that women is only gaining knowledge to have it used against her on the day of judgment! Again I don’t disagree with you saying that making your self and your jannah is a a priority but you can’t neglect what will help you get to jannah!
Thats like me becoming a sheikh and treating my parents badly but they are my part of my paths to jannah .
And Allah surley knows best, also may Allah bless you!
Well many women run away from marrying a religious husband for similar reasons as this sheikha.
I just have one question...why did that women even marry...sound like she could have lived a bachelor , and practice and fast 24×7....but why did she choose to ruin a man's life
We need righteous kids too you know who will pray for us after we are dead.
@@nasraqaali7050 Marrying for kids must be secondary niyyah. Primarily, it is focussed on bringing Sakina (peace and tranquility) in the couples life as Allah said in Qur'an
Or why did the man choose to ruin hers?
@@MariaA7867 how is he ruining her life? She's living without any regard for her own children just endlessly attending classes and not implementing the most basic of basic things which are obligatory on her.
If anything this man is doing stuff for her but she's not giving anything back.
@@SAEECLIPSE you dont even have the other side of the story and your already attacking.
Salam tell the brother she does not like him . I have been married for 15 kids and with three kids and a new born and I try my best to dress up and have private time with my husband . If a women finds you attractive being physically or emotionally she would try everything to make you happy.Tell the brother to speak to her and find out why she is avoiding intimacy because if a woman is happy in that area trust me she would be available for her husband . Men don’t speak about the issue men(husband) have problems in the bedroom area , they suck in pleasing their wives so , she no longer is interested.
She is into extreme
As the brother said, she is not taking care of her body, house, etc
This is not at all "religious"
@@aatif7518 I completely agree , the problem is that a woman that is religious, is also human therefore she is clearly annoyed by her husband so it affects all parts of their lives. Trust me , women who are happy with their partner , would look after herself , her kids and the home to keep him happy.
It just seems like incompatibility.It has nothing to do with her knowledge or being a niqabi.She should have married her match.
Women without knowledge also behave this way if they dont marry their match
No disrespect but this sounds like a “super” Salafi problem and brothers do it too... spend all day studying and not providing for example.
I have heard of some in europe where the men have had their women go out to support them while they stay home and "study the deen". They are essentially boys and not men.
@@alistairjakobsson1506 yes, this has become a request many brothers try promote and it is actually very common in the Jewish religion as well...
Beauty is in eyes of the beholder.
I will not comment on how he is complaining about how his wife is gaining weight, not having the time to cook or take care of the kids while being a working mother. What brushes me the wrong way about this video is that it seems like he made this video and published it on the internet while still being married to this lady. It’s not a nice practice to speak about someone in a bad way, especially while she is still your wife! This seems like a video that’s been made out of anger and frustration (understandably). But it is only one side to what could be a bigger story. It would be interesting to hear the Sheikha’s version of the marriage. Do you plan to save your marriage or look for a solution for your dilemma? Ideally, it’s best to disclose this sort of information after a divorce is finalized. Airing your dirty laundry in the public is not going to help your marriage get better in any way.
What's worse is, this is nor an issue of studying deen so there is no reason to place a title such as, "I married a Sheika and now I'm suffering" as if the problem is her being a shekiah. The problem is he feels neglected, something that is solvable with ease. If she is a person that knows Allah, hopefully she will fear Allah when reminded. Unfortunately it seems he didn't seek to do that and desecrated the privacy of his marriage and the honor of his wife. MY Allah guide us.
She doesn’t have her priorities straight
Well 1st of all the sister in question didn’t have Intimacy with her husband like the bother said she is skipping a fard for sunnah. ( there is a Hadith where a the Prophet told a man the same thing because he wasn’t being intimate with his wife)
Second of all i personally think as a man if you are not taking care of yourself(fitness, hygiene etc) you can’t ask your wife to beautify herself( I workout everyday and take good care of my hygiene so if my future wife doesn’t do the same the marriage won’t last)
3 .if I’m paying all the bills she better have the house clean, a good meal cooked and clothes washed ( lol Jose gets to have a obedient,dutiful wife like Maria while being a an illegal immigrant who delivers pizza. But I as a successful, strong, masculine, religious man who is willing to die to protect his family should expect any less ??)
4. There is difference between letting your child visit, spend time with their grandparents and leaving your children with them to the point where they become your unpaid babysitters.
4. I agree with you on the point that if she has the knowledge and she applies it correctly ( which isn’t case here clearly by the information we have) then he should listen to his wife, but let me be clear if a wife doesn’t fulfill her duties first and foremost she has no business lecturing her husband and vice versa ( it’s like a man who doesn’t provide and protect and doesn’t fulfill a husbands duties but has the audacity to lecture his wife on religious matters
Disagree. Firstly the brother did not specify who with names and details so no one knows who's being spoken about. Secondly, it's important to highlight these issues to everyone else who may potentially fall into a similar issue so they can be cautious
What if the brother is not doing his bit and he expects the wife to be his maid. He expects her to do everything around the house and when she complains he says that's why I married you. To do everything for me. He says his job is only outside but he is not paying the bills or gives her anything she asks for. She finds comfort in seeking knowledge and building a good connection with Allah. She seeks Allah to fill the void in her life by reciting Qur'an, praying qiyaam and so on.
You just invented everything there to twist the story. I think he clearly stated that he pays for everything even for her courses and studying. So if we all start to think like you we could say things like, "maybe he is working extra hours to pay for her studying and that small time he has free she refuses to be intimate with him". You see, with your way of thinking we could twist the story in which ever way we want, so just accept the story the way he told it and dont be of those who try to blame others everytime for their own shortcommings.
@@fortnajt You're smart, 💯 Mashallah
Asalamualikum...
I appreciate the video on this subject with the editing. One suggestion I have for the editors is whenever you place a narration of the Prophet Muhammed SAW, stop the video for a few moments so we can read and and focus on what we read, then continue the video. Other than that, everything seemed fine Jazakum Allah Khair.
Aleykum Salam
use the pause button
Just pause it yourself as it will make the video longer otherwise....
Allahumma salli alaa Muhammad wa alaa aalihi wa sahbihi wa sallam!
May I say...anyone fasting all the time..cannot gain weight..so therefore she is lying..'she does not understand the deen'?? I agree..then again what is the husband doing that turns her off keeping her studying deen only and not caring for him?? Two way street in marriage..yes..
I knew your point. Dean means knowing Religion "Correctly" not practicing Religion externally. This doesn't mean Niqab is wrong in fact Niqab is part of the Dean but it requires both external practices + Knowledge.
I dont know wheather to cry or laugh!!
facts
Just because u don’t wear a niqab doesn’t make u not pious a lot of women pray covered up but stone at heart
Must be amazing knowing what's in niqabi sisters heart subhan alllah
Excuses
Khawarij also using niqob, syia also using niqob, check her aqeedah before marrying her and her behavior at home (from her parents or relative), and don't be shy to check her face as well (nadzhor is allowed and part of sunnah).
The title is extremely confusing
And u know some women have no choice but to find refuge in Allah because of the horrible mind games and bad behaviors their husbands have towards them. I hope you got the other side of the story.
Sisters who are too dedicated like this sister in this video sometimes there can be a deeper issue then her just studying. It sounds like she is having some compulsive disorder,mental illness. Some sisters or even men when they focus on 1 subject and neglects the rest usually is a sign of depression or mental illness. Sometimes they need help to slow down and find out why she is acting like this. There is always more to the story then just a sister who is studying 24/7
Usually it’s because they realize the time is now to study etc and they’re focused on that. As soon as they’re done with that cones kids etc and it’s difficult to balance all. So finish one thing ASAP to start and prioritize new thing is the goal
This is very sad... I'm not one to judge and inshallah never will I be someone who judges other people's faith, yet I will say: This woman IS IN THE WRONG 100%...the husband always always comes right after Allah and his messenger, he comes even before her family from what I know. Astaghfir Allah, may Allah guide this woman. I honestly think she doesn't love her husband, which is why, in my opinion, noone should marry if they don't have chemistry and attraction as lacking this will destroy a marriage. And Alkah knows best ❤️
I am sure she has many many good sides you don't want to see or recognize no body is angel bro
Walhi everything that the brother said is 💯TRUE and one should pay attention to it!!! A true believer should say & speak the truth to please Allaah Our Creator and NOT the creations!! May Allaah bless you & your family Akhi and give yous all that is good in this Dunya and all that is good in Aakhira and protects yous from the hell fire. Amiin ya Allaah. May Allaah The Most High Most Merciful gives us a beneficial knowledge and an insightfulness. Amiin ya Allaah
MashaAllah brother Romani makes more sense than Mufti Minky Mouse, Shamsi, and many others I see online
Why is it that these people don’t meet their match and innocent people like us end up suffering. May Allah protect us from extremist spouses. Ameen
The reason some good people encounter bad things is because they believe and fear that bad things will happen to them. While some evil people encounter good things in life is because they believe and persist that good things happen to them.
I am where my slave thinks of me- Hadith Qudsi .( If you think of bad ,you will get bad things, If you think of good, you get good things .)
"Actions are judged by their intentions " - Prophet Muhammad saw
"Your quality of life depends upon the quality of your thoughts " -Marcus Aurelius
Here's a quick story I've encountered when I was young.
My neighbour( a woman) who was a practicing muslim . She always feared about being raped and She discussed with with my mom. My mom told her to trust Allah and dismiss bad thoughts but she atill was worried. A week later she was raped . ( She persisted in her fear and believed she might be raped)
Another one : One of my friends became a drug addict , but he always told me he'll get a good wife and successful live . I told him no good wife wants an addict. He said don't worry I will get it and have a good life. 4years after ,he met an amazing woman and she forced him to change his bad behaviours . He married her and now they've a wonderful life. ( He persisted and believed that Allah can give him a good life &family )
I have seen this happen to me. If I think of Good thoughts , insist on it , and believe that I will get it ,Allah fulfils my wishes. But I have realised that" beleiving that you have your wishes" is the recipe for success.
My life has been easier since I understood this. Life is a test and what our thoughts habour in our hearts we become be it good or bad ,Allah gave us free will and will judges correctly in the afterlife.
@@dontsimpbro7039 SubhanAllah, you are so right! I believe those who make peoples lives miserable have bad thoughts about their spouses!!! They are too negative they never appreciate the good people do for them!
They ask for the best but when they get it they don’t see it.
I only ever have good thoughts, and believed I’d meet a good practising man, and I changed my ways so That I’d be blessed by it.
I’ve never thought of certain negativities. I’m even a surprised someone would fear being raped for no apparent reason, very strange.
Jazakallah Khairan for sharing !
@@Zazezoo We suffer more in imagination than in reality - Seneca
If you look Through out history or even your life ,you'll be amazed how your thoughts create your reality. every good or bad thing, every oppresser and oppressed,slaves, victims, winners ,losers all became by their thoughts. I felt bad for suffering people then I realised that they were victims of their own mind. They think only bad things happen to them and bad things happen. Then I wondered how successful people in every area of life became that. I realised that they were masters of their own thinking, they directed their mind to things they wanted (good or bad ) and they achieved it.
But Most people blame Allah or other people for their misery and suffering while their situations were created by their thoughts .
An-Nahl 16:97
Whoever works righteousness, man or woman, and has Faith, verily, to him will We give a new Life, a life that is good and pure and We will bestow on such their reward according to the best of their actions.
Fussilat 41:46
Whoever works righteousness benefits his own soul; whoever works evil, it is against his own soul: nor is thy Lord ever unjust (in the least) to His Servants.
Free will = Having control of your thoughts (you can choose good or bad)
Thoughts =create your reality.
@@dontsimpbro7039 before you jump to surah fusilat, being mesmerised by those who claim it is their will, rather than what is in their heart is a reminder by Allah, let us learn from surah annisa.
An-Nisa' 4:78
أَيْنَمَا تَكُونُوا۟ يُدْرِككُّمُ ٱلْمَوْتُ وَلَوْ كُنتُمْ فِى بُرُوجٍ مُّشَيَّدَةٍۗ وَإِن تُصِبْهُمْ حَسَنَةٌ يَقُولُوا۟ هَٰذِهِۦ مِنْ عِندِ ٱللَّهِۖ وَإِن تُصِبْهُمْ سَيِّئَةٌ يَقُولُوا۟ هَٰذِهِۦ مِنْ عِندِكَۚ قُلْ كُلٌّ مِّنْ عِندِ ٱللَّهِۖ فَمَالِ هَٰٓؤُلَآءِ ٱلْقَوْمِ لَا يَكَادُونَ يَفْقَهُونَ حَدِيثًا
Wherever you may be, death will overtake you, even if you should be within towers of lofty construction. But if good comes to them, they tell, "This is from Allah"; and if evil befalls them, they te, "This is from you." Tell, "All is from Allah." So what is with these the people not do they hardly understand any statement.
Quran
#GreentechApps
@@ummerfarooq5383 Reread my first comment, in it is the answer.
Jazakallah kheyr
Great points made by brother Gabriel. This video was very helpful. SubhanAllah
Sheikh Romani wallahi you are surrounded by the right people
Most of the people misuse the term "deen"..
The deen makes one a good wife but if yu think deen is all abt wearing niqab and denying yr husband the comfort of marriage, then yu really are poor in terms of deen
- ALLAHU AKBAR!.. That's me, I married a Ukhty-Muwahiddah Niqabi from Spain who was a "Niqaabi".. always condemning everyone around her.. She used to act like a Muftii.. I grew up in Surrey ( South London) without even seeing a Hijaabi growing up..
I married a "grumpy muftii".. ;)
- And YES I slept on the Sofa or other room when she got pregnant
Finally a red pill channel from my religion
Loooooool 🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭🎯🎯🎯🎯🙏
Theres no such thing in Islam called red pill...
red pill is not from Islam
He means ‘finally the red pill from a Muslims perspective’
Where does Allah talk about rid pill in Quran. Bring proof...