Judge To Trump Lawyer: Control Your Client | Christie’s Hot Mic Moment | Belichick Exits
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- Опубліковано 10 січ 2024
- The former president lost his cool in front of the judge in his New York fraud trial today, Chris Christie trashed his GOP rivals before dropping out of the presidential race, and New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick is stepping down. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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Stephen Colbert brings his signature satire and comedy to THE LATE SHOW with STEPHEN COLBERT, the #1 show in late night, where he talks with an eclectic mix of guests about what is new and relevant in the worlds of politics, entertainment, business, music, technology and more. Featuring bandleader Louis Cato and “THE LATE SHOW band,” the Peabody Award-winning and Emmy Award-nominated show is broadcast from the historic Ed Sullivan Theater. Stephen Colbert took over as host, executive producer and writer of THE LATE SHOW on Sept. 8, 2015. - Розваги
The butthole joke has me in tears 🤣🤣😭
Oh yes it was perfect 🎉🎉🎉
Ditto. I love when he uses risque words since he's relatively clean.
Yes 😂😂😂😂😂😂!!
Ew that was SO GROSS
DITTO!!
daaaaaaaaamn son who wrote this monologue 🤣😵 absolutely savage
DAMN!!!! Colbert is on fire with these insults and digs. NICE
Still trying to catch my breath for laughing so hard at his Fox butthole reference. This will keep a smile on my face and a chuckle in my soul all day. Thank you 😂
Trump said "this attorney general is the reason why Exxon corporation left NY and moved to Texas".. They moved in 1989, 30 years before she was attorney general.
Does Trump have one concrete policy/program/proposal to MAGA? Something that doesn't make him and his cronies wealthier? Something that doesn't blame "the others" for whatever problems Trump makes up and constantly rants about?
@@gogreen7794not that I've seen? He yammers on about all kinds of things that weren't done in the four years he had...
@@gogreen7794I think he said he wanted to build a dome, but that’s as close to a coherent policy as he’s come.
It won't matter to his supporters they believe everything he says. They don't know the definition of research or truth
That doesn't matter. To Chump, it's *still* her fault!
The butthole joke was spot on and friggin' hilarious !😅😅😅
How could any woman -- anyone at all -- support that man for any public office. That judge should have held him in contempt and put him in jail for the weekend.
Because Biden is a saint ? He's a pedo
YOU ARE GREAT!!!!! DURING THIS DIFFICULT TIME WE NEED YOU AND YOUR HUMOR!
This UA-cam Channel, and others, have pulled me through all of this.
Trump's air accordion was going into overdrive during last night's Townhall.
Hypno Hands 👐🤡
🤪🥺🤲😳🫣😰
maybe he's swapped it out for a dynamo so he can make energy for the hamburger?
His lie meter
He uses it to signal to Putin, Russia if your listening I'm about to lose my business license and most of my asset's.
Putin runs this shit show, c'mon, the meat puppet is trying to shut the US govt down. I can just see him plotting a way for 22 years to destroy democracy by exporting criminal thugs to all countries near him AND the US (little Odessa in New York) . Everything he does is to continue his kleptocracy, half his country's income goes to evil Putin, and destabilizing the US is good for business@@user-tn3qf1gg1j
The 20 to 30 year bit was gold
Right
The monologue tonight was FIRE. So many zingers! 😂
Thank you Stephen! 🏆 I missed you when you were gone. Belated thanks, too, for your pandemic work as well. We really needed your humor then, & still do!😊😊😊
The humor that literally was sponsored by fiserv
It was a lost cause as soon as the judge stipulated "follow some rules."
Any rules at this point. i'm pretty sure trump doesn't see rules and laws, only a biiiiiig bucket list.
Letitia James bet a dollar she could put Chump in the poor house. Best dollar she ever bet.
Worth the standing ovation…I’m saying this as a New Englander
Greetings from germany! Thanks for all the fantastic, intelligent entertainment. I love the show.
Butthole joke was epic. 😅
I know so many Flavors were going thru my head then I almost Vurped in my mouth .lol
Gotta love having Colbert back and Healthy!
oh he's sooo healthy
Even if he's not guilty (and he is SO guilty), his regular breaks from reality should disqualify him from running for anything.
Definitely. Would be nice if there was some kind of minimum competency bar for the most powerful job on the planet.
We could throw away most of the candidates!
Brilliant writing and Stephen always nails the delivery, best in the Biz!
He is a corporate shill
Why don’t these judges ever hold this fool in contempt of court? They let him do whatever he wants in a court room setting
Their working a fine line, they dont want him to have any recourse for an appeal based on the judge being unfair... its infuriating for us all, and its infuriating for the Judge and his staff, but its all part of the play... give him enough freedom to screw himself over, and make it impossible for him to just get it all thrown out and repeated again and delayed because he calls bias, which is all he's trying to get to happen...
The gavels coming down on trump soon, but its gotta be done right, or its never gonna end... just gotta have patience.
IMO, the judge allowed him to speak, knowing he isn’t capable of adhering to the caveats, that he would violate them. By allowing a couple minutes of histrionics which the judge called him on, he has ripped the rug out from under any basis of being gagged upon appeal. As Trump does consistently, his own incapacity for self-restraint digs his hole deeper.
There is also the fact that it is this judge - on his own with no jury or other judges - who picks the number for the amount Ole' Orange has to pay. Just describe the kind of idiot who twists the tail of someone with that sort of power. Trump got to deliver his final address; in his own mind, the judge just added $20m to Orange's bill for being annoying and orange.
no, you must have missed the entire reason this leaden piece of unfunniness was put up: he CAN'T 'do what he wants' im a courtroom setting. . . see the diff?
By letting him stay in the courtroom, they give him more opportunity to say things that can be used against him later.
To the writers who wrote this monologue... genius! I hip my hat to you
How do you hip a hat?
@@TallyRocky Tip Tip, Hooray!
what, the side-splitting funny 'gay whale' hilarious joke? geez Louise you're easy to please
Fat fingers too, I’m always off by a key!
@@GaZonk100agree, Dems should use it in their campaign ads😅
Damn Stephen, those zinger STUNG. Bravo.
The look on the hosts' faces at 4:43 is truly priceless. "For all that is holy, how are we supposed to spin this into supportive comments..."
Remember when he said he wouldn't have time for golf?
We can only hope DUMPTY gets 30 years!
One of the best openings to date, well written and delivered!!! Thank you Stephen (and your excellent Writing team!)!!
Writers and Stephen was on fire this monologue.
No time for retribution just as he had no time for golfing while he was president. Yeah, sure. Lies, all lies.
I plan to rate my candidates on how many lies told to the public that *have* been disproven.
💪🏼💙👍🏼
You're right. You sound like Invader Zim, but you're right.
Trump spent about 307 days or about 21% of his presidency golfing. And that doesn't include his "executive time" spent watching TV and tweeting - sometimes as much as 9 hours a day. He was a really hard worker 🙄
Right! Remember how much he mocked the former for golfing?
Heard his golf clubs are completely worn out. 😅
Tonight's monologue was a masterpiece. You killed it Mr. Colbert! Don Quijote tilting at windmills, A lot of people are saying windmills are turning our whales gay. there were so many excellent jokes and puns.
no he said this is what Republicans think, but I'm flat out trying to find any comedy in that. . . you found it funny? like, you laughed out loud? at that?
The idea that TFG knows who Don Quixote is, tho. 😊
Paella 🥘
The joke writers are top notch!
This is why I love Stephen Colbert. He seems to do Trump better than anyone else. And in right on the mark with his comments about Fox News hosts.😂
I LOVE YOU. KEEP REPORTING SIR. 70YO BLACK WOMAN IN ATLANTA 😊
Laughed all the way through this segment! Love Stephen Colbert!
Remember when he said he wouldn't have time to golf as President????
Remember when Trump achieved energy independence, a secured border, and less crime?
@@michaeld9682 not really, no. I remember being embarrassed by his representing our Country, not being able to make a reasonable statement, acting like a second grade bully calling people names, begging for love, no one's ever blah blah blah tears in his eyes... Just lies and nonsense
@MoreThanYouTimesTwo are you a victim of operation mockingbird?
@@michaeld9682 no a victim of the Electoral College putting in a person as President who lost the vote by more than 3 million votes.
Two of the Diaper Don's most important statements:
If I am elected, I won't have any time to play golf.
When elected, I won't have time to be a dictator.
Though those are doozies, he best is still when he said ""I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."
It is that lie that always gets me, right here.
Wow what a great monologue! Every joke was a banger! They are always good but this one was excellent. Bravo.
_"They're transing kids!!!"_
We now live in a time when a presidential candidate can _seriously_ say insane shit like that in a debate.
Even worse - a huge chunk of the country actually BELIEVES that insane shit and are "very concerned" about it. America is a tragic comedy.
What's maddening and completely evil is the widespread and targeted hatred of trans people in general in the last few years, with hundreds of anti-trans laws popping up for the sole purpose of either making life for trans people incredibly difficult, or in some places, deliberately trying to push the suicide rate up.
And what exactly did trans people do to deserve this? Being a bit different, swapping genders, and generally keeping to themselves. THAT'S IT! The entire trans agenda is to just simply survive, to live an authentic life, and mind one's own business, but a huge amount of people, even internationally, seem to believe that's grounds for eradicating the entire trans population. Disgusting.
If you knew what schools are like now, you’d know they’re indeed “transing the kids.” Maybe not directly, but something isn’t adding up. I’ve been a teacher for 30 years, and 10 years ago I’ve had maybe 5 gay students in total. In These last 3 years I have seen so many trans and gay kids that it statistically doesn’t make sense. I know people say “they’re just more accepted and they can come out.” But we legitimately wouldn’t have a human species if 25% of us were trans or gay. There’s some form of unnatural LGBTQ influence
I saw Colbert live the day of trump’s inauguration; it’s been great following this entire shitshow with Stephen!
How hard is it to get tickets?
The only thing keeping me sane at this point
@@Sjalabais they’re free! I think they only let you book a month out (but it may be different now) but it just takes looking on the website and waiting for the next time they open bookings
@@ULTRAVCATASTROPHE whoo, amazing! I'm in Norway, but if I ever return to NYC, this is part of my itinerary. :D
Stephen was on a roll tonight with the jokes.
You should have titled that 'Trumper Tantrum'!! 😁
Great monologue!!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
The entire monologue was just brilliant. So many good walk-off jokes.
Absolute immunity? More like absolute insanity. Lock up Capt Poopy Pants. Cheers....
whoops, you got the wrong one there, fella
@@GaZonk100No, you have the wrong one ..Traitor
er, no. . .who was the one who sharted overseas in a meeting with THE POPE lol?@@jenniferjaurigue9660
@@GaZonk100 which one is wrong? The absolute immunity or insanity? Cheers....
absolute incompetence, evilness and pure stupidity.
I like his straight communication & clear values. His campaign was a class-act.
Can't believe the judge slipped, and let the con man speak. It's not a surprise what he's going to say.
Mr Colbert's satires are out of this world! He is so an expert that he is a virtuoso!!
He has fabulous writers!
I think some of them are doing coments. If not some of these commenter should be given a job!!!!💙💙💙💙
The other late night hosts are mediocre. Seth Meyers is decent, but Colbert runs rings around them. He should be nicknamed Sonic.
@@suetaylor5159 The commenters are learning from him! He is that good!
I would not encourage anybody to have words fight with him, he is sure to make a grown man cry instantly!
Stream of consciousness? More like Deluge of Diarrhea.
The "we have to kill the batman " and lawyer grimace had me laugh out loud lol
The writing just gets better... You should win the Amy for this show😂 just because of his attachment to old news laced with new news
I love you and your writers, Stephen! You make living in The Age of Trump bearable!💖💖💖🤣🤣🤣
ah,yes I remember the age of Trump when there weren't ten million illegals a year flooding the country. . .glad those days are gone!
Pity it was a civil trial or the judge can question his mental competency and lock him up in the nut house
Does Donald Trump realize he is the single most hated person on the planet?
Malignant Narcissists never know.
@nancychandler3673 Malignant narcissists know, they just don't care.
Oh, he has some competition for that honour.
Correct
I think he is very loved by at least 50 % of all people
Thank you for your humorous insights . Stress has United the world as we watch him free
5 stars for that deflation joke.
Well done, writers.
Trump 2024: "I'm not gonna have time for retribution."
Trump 2016: "I'm not gonna have time for golf." And we know how that turned out.
Me: "I'm not gonna have time to watch a new netflix show."
I have gotten More than one thing from him. That says at the very top in bold guards letters. I am your retribution. That's exactly what he's gonna do.
What ever he says go opposite.. FDT
we need retribution for what the current idiots have done to this country
We all know he’s incapable of telling the truth 😂
The jokes were extra on point this night!
Colbert was running on all cylinders tonight!! Every joke hit the mark!
now I'm no legal expert, but Judges do have the right to throw people in jail if they misbehave in court?
Yes but this judge is completely ball-less.
@@tabbyreed8925 Engoron is trying to pre-empt reasons for appeal.
I believe so, which only highlights just how much Trump is getting special treatment.
Fucking hell, what will trigger contempt of court???
@@markwhisler3501 I don't see how holding him in contempt when he is obviously in contempt would lead to that.
Man Stephen you were on fire tonight! Joke after spot on joke, hilarious! Thank you for the continuous laughs!
"I'm not going to have time for retribution" Sippy Cup Caligula said the same thing about golf when he was running the first time... We saw how that went.
Like a scalpel... You are exacting and brilliant Mr. Colbert
The "Jail House Rock" sting was comedic genius by Lewis, and Stephen didn't miss a beat!
He already had his shot and showed his ass the whole time. We know what his idea of 'success' is: hard pass.
💪🏼💙👍🏽
Sadly, money hungry politicians and people who can't read. That's the reason in a nutshell .
Given the fact that Mr. Colbert lost his father and 2 brothers in a plane crash, it strikes me as especially brave that he can joke around with such humorous ease about airlines, planes, related malfunctions, and so on.
God Bless you, Stephen.
It’s a really bad strategy to insult the judge in a bench trial
Grimace is the ideal lawyer for a fast food clown.
"Energy is so big!" declared the stable genius.
🤣
"Control your client"
Yeah, that'll work.
After losing which lawsuit, do we get to call him disgraced former president?
Because hes already lost the E Jean carol sexual assault case, when do we accurately describe him.
He was a disgrace long before he was a former president. It's just kind of his default state of being.
In the UK a programme already does.
That 20-30 years joke ran in my head before it rolled off his lips. The 'deflated' one got me though.
Always good to see Colbert killing it, makes me laugh everytime
Stephen on top form - brilliant!
I'm hoping that there will one day be a Trump court appearance in which he will leave the court in handcuffs.
Or one where he has a stroke that leaves him unable to speak.
@@bettinadewoof3309I rather see him get convicted first.
Well if he gets convicted he will have a stroke, so 2 birds one stone. Oh the day. 😮
@bettinadewoof3309
Look, I can't stand the mf'er either, but hate devours the hater.
Oh, please, God, me, too.
The “deflated” joke was top tier
No it wasn't.
It was a terrible joke tbh, and I hate the Pats
I too, the minority of the audience, did not laugh and in my unbiased, unbutthurt, non-petulant findings: No. It is not a funny joke.
No clue what the hell it even means.
@@porunga1615 There was a controversy about New England playing with underinflated footballs a few years back that's all. It was called deflategate or something like that.
The sketch artist deserves an award😂😂😂
If I could two thumbs up I would. Great monologue Colbert!
Here's to hoping Donnie gets the punishment he deserves.... in the courts and at the ballot box!
exactly
And a back alley
I'd prefer a prison cell and all the health care we can provide.
Somebody has to move into Bernie Madoff's old cell after all. Might as well be Donnie.
@@guessmyhandleImagine how much Trump would rage living on welfare made by the BLACK president. Imagine the ketchup stains across the walls.
Trump spent about 307 days or about 21% of his presidency golfing. And that doesn't include his "executive time" spent watching TV and tweeting - sometimes as much as 9 hours a day. He was a really hard worker 🙄
Wasn’t that a blessing in disguise in a way? Imagine if he 100% commited to his program instead.
I would like to point out that he also passed almost 1200 bills into law based on congress's official website. However that means that while he was working, he was signing away people's freedoms too.
well, at least HE is awake in the day hours
Hey, come on now, give him some credit! It's hard to ride around in a golf cart! Those things don't have doors or seat belts! You have to use your own strength to ride in it without falling out! And those TV remote buttons can be such a pain, trying to find the right button to push when you read at a 3rd grade level!
didn't he address the United Nations (without sharting) once?
Great show guys, the best monologue of all week's late night shows thank you .
I'm happy he didn't intend to deadname grimace 💜
There's always options though
I love how Colbert just casually inserts Bilbo Baggins into his monologue lol
Any one of us would have been arrested IMMEDIATELY for Contempt of Court 🤬
Most definitely! This just shows There's 2 justice systems in this country
He keeps whining about how unfair all of this is. Yes! It's completely unfair to the vast majority of us who follow instructions and recognize a court's authority, who pay our taxes, who do NOT lie on returns... I got dinged for reporting an amount that was off by twenty bucks on our taxes a few years back. Didn't ever get a form for the exact amount so I made a good faith estimate. Got the bill for the underpayment AND a penalty - for twenty bucks. And this gross excuse for a human being gets away with lying about millions.
Any average person. That in itself should tell you both sides are garbage.
@@57Strudelwhat confounds me the most is how this situation that happened to you has happened to millions of other Americans, who still watch Trump on TV and say "Yep that is still my guy till the end" as he blatantly gets away with everything you never could. Sycophants
Not mister white privilege in the flesh Hunter Biden!
this ENTIRE video was glorious!
Oh the buckle joke was 😚👌
God help America. Hope we will wake up someday & not hear of the name & shenanigans of the former guy.
Or have to hear his horrible voice. Just go the hell away. Please.
Believing in God is how we got into this mess!
can we please go back to never saying his name again?
Yes. Keep reminding us. Now if we could just make the media to knock it off.
I'm with you.
Your mouth to God’s ear. ❤
I'm on board with that.
I Wish.
That's what I'm waiting for.
You’re the best. Thank you
Windmills are actually The Netherlands posta cards and they are beautifuls 🎉🎉🎉
Hey remember when he said he wouldn't have time for golf and then spent 140 Million of tax payer money on golf? Good times.
Comedy GOLD 🎉😂❤
One of Stephen's greatest monologues ever. My stomach hurts.
The fact that there are 1.4k "dislikes" for this video goes to show how many people take themselves so seriously that they can't laugh at themselves. The fact that there are 52k "likes" gives me hope.
Guitar riff to Jail House Rock... Well done sir.
The line about Fox anchors forgetting Trump's flavor is one I will remember - along with the one about Putin's holster.
Yeah agreed, but he got in trouble for the holster one. I'm LGBTQIA+ and I laughed my ass off, but it was voted off the island.
@Victoriabaker4400 the island isn't hip!
And number 2!
Loved it, one of your best
“Deflated!”😂😂😂
And yet he wasn't charged with contempt of court. What a surprise.
Dear Mr. Colbert please never quit, you're keeping me sane!
Sane by Colbert. Accept my sympathy.
Stephen colbert is a complete partisan far left Democrat..
Always speaking to a far left audience. He constantly promotes the hate Trump narrative. VOTE IN 2024 FOR TRUMP
Friggin hilarious 🤪
Specially splendid 😂