Finally get your family OUT OF YOU & be the true self you were never allowed to be 👇 Access my free training - jerrywise.ewebinar.com/webinar/free-training-10027 ‘Road to Self’ Program: Join 10,000+ people who have transformed their lives! www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/road-to-self
🙌 Statements in this video I found particularly empowering 🧘: 6:06 "We are 0% responsible for our childhoods. But we are 100% responsible for our healing, our maturity, our recovery, and our new life beyond victimhoods." 6:26 "The bad news is we have been victimized. The good news is that we can begin to walk out of that victimhood." 6:39 "I'm not blaming victims of narcissitic parents- I'm just calling us & challenging us to come out of the victimhood . I realize there has been victimization. But we don't want to stay there." 8:00 "I am not my victimhood. In this stage... we learn to break free of the enmeshment and trauma bonds and victimization, and become our own selves." 10:37 "A victim holds onto the pain to protect themselves from being revictimized... Many times we get stuck in those [hurt, anger, & pain] because it keeps us safe... We can come to believe and accept that we can take care of ourselves, love ourselves, protect ourselves, without all of the hurt, pain, & anger." 11:56 "A victim embraces their disempowerment. In other words they over own their disempowerment. Versus tapping into their empowered side. A victim wants sympathy. A mature healing recovering ACON wants understanding & accepts themselves & gives themselves understanding affirmation, love & acceptance." 12:32 "A victim feels retraumatized when others don't understand or give them sympathy... I don't have to have other people understand my experience. It's great if they do, and if I can find that in a recovery group, with a therapist or a coach, a pastor or someone who I'm working with, even friends... but I don't have to have it if I'm accepting, understanding, & loving myself, which moves us out of victim mode." 13:19 "A victim feels powerless & helpless, versus having been traumatized but recovering fm and choosing agency for themselves." 13:33 "A victim continues in a victim mode often to square the ledger; to right the wrongs; to get justice and fairness. The problem is, there's no way that can happen. So we get caught in that.... and we don't want to get caught in those games... often they're unconscious games." 15:44 "As adults we can choose to be self aware, self defined, and self regulated, which are the 3 legs of the stool for the work of self differentiation." 16:02 "We want to get this out of us & get the narcissist out of us through maturing ourselves & with the practice and discipline & work of self differentiation... [which] detaches us from that pain. It doesn't deny it- It begins to help detach us from that bond."
Former client here. I went nc from covert narc mom bc i dreaded the phone call every week. Nc made it much easier to move past victimhood since i wasn't being reminded about it on a weekly basis.
since childhood ive waited to be saved to be loved and to be seen. ended up marrying a narcissist and repeated my childhood and i now i see i was waiting for me all along.. this is life changing work Jerry will def pay for the workshop..thank thank you thank you...
Instead of saying victim better to say survivor it's more proactive and sounds stronger to set out on a path of self recovery and self empowerment. Being aware is the first step to healing. Tks Dr.Jerry Wise for all your valuable insights and sincere guidance. God bless you 🙏
It was very helpful for me to start calling myself a SURVIVOR of childhood abuse/neglect, rather than calling myself a VICTIM of childhood abuse/neglect.
Yep, survivors have scars, but the open wounds are healed. Once healed, we are able to be a light to those who are hurting. Got a Switchfoot song in my head, Where the Light Shines Through.
I just realized that in spite of having all material needs met, and not a divorce family, in spite of my father giving me unconditional acceptance and a safe emotional space (narc mom) i was almost completely unparented. So strange.
Severe early childhood trauma causes live long oversensitive stress responses in the brain. It is not always possible to heal that. Wounds that time won't heal completely. If you feel like a failure if you don't succeed to reach full recovery, maybe acceptance and learn to live with it is a better way?
Timing of this coaching is spot on today - thank you. Just spent time with family member and feeling bothered. I dealt well enough with situation but had negative emotions to deal with later.
I’ve come to understand what my narcissistic mother has done to me, I’m trying so hard to move beyond stagnation but I found myself married to another narcissist with two kids. The situation is now so complicated that I can barely see how it will end. I don’t have the means to pay for therapy either. Please pray with me as I earnestly pray for all victims of this subtle evil emotional abuse.
I'm so sorry😥 .. I'll pray for you. Sending love peace strength and boundary around you to keep it. Strength for you and your babies. Sending warm hugs when it gets too hard. When you are ready..the holy spirit will provide a smooth getaway.. and peace. I know..because I've been where you are.
@TinTin A, I agree with Mirella’s and Rain Quietly’s comments below. Also, I belong to a Church Group called Celebrate Recovery. This is free too and available in thousands of Churches in the USA. It provides help for people undergoing any hurt, habit or hang up based on the 12-step program but also based on the love and power of Jesus Christ! This might help you as well if you are interested! 🙏
@@abladeofgrass1003 thank you so much for your soothing words of encouragement. Keeping these words to where I can easily access it whenever needed because indeed I’m counting on the Holy Spirit and divine grace to guide my path one day at a time .Thank you 🙏🏾
"A victim feels retraumatized when others don´t understand them or offer them sympathy. And that´s staying in the victim role, because I don´t have to have other people understand my experience . It´s great if they do and if I can find that [understanding] in a recovery group, with a therapist or coach, a pasteur or someone who I am working with, even friends. If I can find that [understanding] that´s wonderful, but I don´t have to have it [understanding] IF I am accepting, understanding and loving myself which moves us out of the victim role."
Wow Jerry thank you for more wonderful insights into my own thoughts, behaviors and my recovery! Especially the need to be “Right”! I understand better now what that need really is! You are such a blessing 😊✝️❤️
We have been 'trained' to be victims. When we refuse to be one, we don't know what response is appropriate when someone tries to victimize us. Just saying "No" doesn't work. They wouldn't BE trying to victimize us if they hadn't already got some power or authority over us (boss, teacher, etc). Most of these people will not back down unless their power is equally matched (by position, authority, wealth, physical size...)
30 years ago I was wrapping up a doctoral program, feeling happy and successful, nearly escaped from my narcissist mother's abuse. After finishing the residency and my teaching and after my contract ended I started writing the disseration. I wasn't feeling well. I was feeling depressed, anxious and very alone. I was also without much money. My mother and dad let me come back home to staty with them. My mother and I quarelled. A lot. It was the same old thing. She finally wore me down. She threatened to kick me out. I was suffering severe inflammation in my body (later diagnosed as Lupus). She told me to come with her to see a gynecologist. They talked privately. Before I knew it I was in a psychiatrist's office and my mother had enrolled me wiith SSI disability and Medicaid. I was too exhausted to fight any longer. I gave in. I had no one else. The "fawning' began.30 years later she's dead and put me under a Special Needs Trust. I can't claim my own inheritance. My older sister, who despises me. controls the money. I'm 62 and actually not well now. I was never "mentally ill' - at least not enough to not work, and my work was my life. So what do I do now? I was my mother's victim. Now I'm my sister's -exactly as my mother planned it. The sibling triangulation was fierce and perfect. I'm still living on $900 a month but, lucky me, I can get 'extras' if I beg for them. My lawyer just shakes his head. Actually the entire story is even worse. Again, please tell me how I can throw off the victimhood when I'm still the victim? I"m unable to escape. I'm caught in this new abusive relationship until the day I die. No potential partner would even want a relationship with a woman who has to live under these conditions. If I marry I lose the SSI, medicaid and - convenienty there isn't enough in the trust to afford myself an independent living. I wasn't mentally ill before, but these people are going to break me.
Ah, "squaring the ledger"! It's time for my financial definition of forgiveness. Forgiveness = forgiving a debt. Only God can forgive sins. We can forgive debts. Like your parents owe you a "good enough" childhood, an apology, time with the other parent, etc. Write them off. They will never pay u back, so don't expect them to. I had to go nc to forgive my covert narc mom and learn the skills she never taught me. The more skills i learn, the less contempt i have for her.
❤️☺️ i thank you so much for reaffirming for me, that i truly HAVE been on the right path!! (I was stuck in.. I think I NEEDED to be stuck in the victimization role for So so long!!) ❤️
Jerry, love your videos. One thing I wish you would add would be notes, bullet points across the screen. It really helps. Les Carter does that & I take notes. Consider it. Thanks
Jerry, can we see more of these kinds of videos? The ‘what next’ after emotional detachment is achieved in an authentic level, please? Guidance in building self would be great next topics. Thanks for considering!
I need help with this. But I’m too poor to get all the help I need. I come from liars, narcs, drunks, and infinite dysfunction. Now I have to pay to get decent ppl attention.
I have found a lot of support in the Al-Anon program. It’s only a few dollars a meeting. I have an amazing sponsor to help me in my road to recovery. Her friendship has helped me heal in many ways. Best wishes to you!
A link to a Patreon account for Jerry? I would like to make a donation, I find your content incredibly helpful and reassuring at the same time. And love your personality ! 🙂
You can donate on my website www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com or Pay pal to jwlearning@hotmail.com or Cashapp or Zelle or Venmo Thank you for your kind offer.
I'm starting to think many ppl ..or a high percentage of ppl are suffering from this. Most ppl around me. They are just unaware and think its normal. Could this be?? Or am I projecting?? Or is it just my culture?? But.. so many ppl are suffering..yet they have no idea they are suffering because they think that this is life and it is the way it is. They cannot phathom another way of existence. I rarely see a balanced loving parent. I know I will probably get shit for this comment.. and ppl don't want to hear this.(especially in my community) .but... this is critical in the black community. I don't think ppl realize this. It's like they not only understand what vulnerability is.. but cannot phathom it. The cycle continues because this is like..literally the way of life. It's like we cannot even phathom being loved and hugged. Listened to.. prioritized. But..I see on social media..ppl are changing slowly. Few post, they don't call it narcissism.. but they shine a light on the abuse. I get it ..it's so deep. Idk how to ..show others. I'm not good at articulating.
I understand, to me your words make perfect sense. I always tried to make people see as well and be helpful but then I realised painfully it doesn't work. We can only change ourselves and this isn't an easy task. And trying to be more kind and self loving and accepting doesn't prevent one from bumping into unhealthy people. I guess it's a long process to recovery with some set backs, but there's no alternative really. And I agree, we should all be happier from the inside out and really connecting to one another. Hopefully humans become this way through deep learning some beautiful day in the future :)
@@Sandromeda. thank you. Im starting to think it's way deeper, must be. It's like we are just the ones waking up.. in a spiritual sense. Like, evolving. Narcissism is not rare.. it's very common..or maybe even a state of being ..like a default.
@@abladeofgrass1003 yes. Waking up. Or remembering. In fact, I believe that we are not born like this and should not develop into this sickness. But it happens while growing up and doesn't get easier during adult life. Wish you goodness and kindness in your life, be well:) greetings from Germany!
If your the victim there is always a predator. They just pick new predators through projection of these negative qualitied on to others. The problem is others may not have these attributes that are projected on to others.
that's so true but was prey to these nuts before i even knew my mother was a narc..she elected to wait for me to be abused in my adult life by a series of them to wait for my downfall to unmask herself, though i always knew something was wrong..prior to that, i always was independent and relatively successful all considering not impacted at least consciously by my upbringing...they still seem to spot people. i don't know how. if i am in a crowd they find me and i'm not someone who has any weak demeanor. Its a spiritual battle for sure...totally a spiritual disorder...i've learned that clearly in my dealings with them and the timing..they seem to pop up one right after another..it's crazy.
@@AC-ew2xr learn the 3 E's and the way they pick victims by giving a compliment combined with a devaluation of you. Like those ear rings look nice on you and then they say but they kinda make your ears look fat. Therir testing your reaction. My reaction. Goodbye.
@@edgreen8140 YES...i know but i get picked without saying a word or getting any compliment its very bizarre...i guess they aren't all cookie cutter. i heard from a malignant narc they can read auras. Seems to be true...they see your light just looking at you because demons possess superpowers too they just use them for darkness as opposed to us using them for light. The worst disorder to deal wth!
Sometimes the girlfriend of the victim that has been ghosted just wants to know if they are ok, and are fearful that the narcissistic antisocial phycopathic Machiavellian abusers harmed them(Kimberly Bomstad)
I don't think I have a specific video on this topic if you would like to work with me or one of my associates, let me know Dan. jerrywise5@gmail.com Jerry Wise
It’s not easy. There are articles online about what happens to the oldest child that has to take on a parental role to younger siblings. Often the oldest gets scapegoated while the younger siblings protect the parents.
Finally get your family OUT OF YOU & be the true self you were never allowed to be 👇
Access my free training - jerrywise.ewebinar.com/webinar/free-training-10027
‘Road to Self’ Program: Join 10,000+ people who have transformed their lives! www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/road-to-self
to get my parents out of me means getting fear out of me
This content is medicine to me. Thank you Jerry for creating & sharing this accessible & pertinent content. 🙏🏻
Glad you enjoy it!
🙌 Statements in this video I found particularly empowering 🧘:
6:06 "We are 0% responsible for our childhoods.
But we are 100% responsible for our healing, our maturity, our recovery, and our new life beyond victimhoods."
6:26 "The bad news is we have been victimized.
The good news is that we can begin to walk out of that victimhood."
6:39 "I'm not blaming victims of narcissitic parents- I'm just calling us & challenging us to come out of the victimhood . I realize there has been victimization. But we don't want to stay there."
8:00 "I am not my victimhood. In this stage... we learn to break free of the enmeshment and trauma bonds and victimization, and become our own selves."
10:37 "A victim holds onto the pain to protect themselves from being revictimized... Many times we get stuck in those [hurt, anger, & pain] because it keeps us safe...
We can come to believe and accept that we can take care of ourselves, love ourselves, protect ourselves, without all of the hurt, pain, & anger."
11:56 "A victim embraces their disempowerment. In other words they over own their disempowerment. Versus tapping into their empowered side. A victim wants sympathy. A mature healing recovering ACON wants understanding & accepts themselves & gives themselves understanding affirmation, love & acceptance."
12:32 "A victim feels retraumatized when others don't understand or give them sympathy... I don't have to have other people understand my experience. It's great if they do, and if I can find that in a recovery group, with a therapist or a coach, a pastor or someone who I'm working with, even friends... but I don't have to have it if I'm accepting, understanding, & loving myself, which moves us out of victim mode."
13:19 "A victim feels powerless & helpless, versus having been traumatized but recovering fm and choosing agency for themselves."
13:33 "A victim continues in a victim mode often to square the ledger; to right the wrongs; to get justice and fairness. The problem is, there's no way that can happen. So we get caught in that.... and we don't want to get caught in those games... often they're unconscious games."
15:44 "As adults we can choose to be self aware, self defined, and self regulated, which are the 3 legs of the stool for the work of self differentiation."
16:02 "We want to get this out of us & get the narcissist out of us through maturing ourselves & with the practice and discipline & work of self differentiation... [which] detaches us from that pain. It doesn't deny it- It begins to help detach us from that bond."
Wow how cool Lilith Thank you Jerry Wise
Cool!
Thank you for the outline!
Former client here. I went nc from covert narc mom bc i dreaded the phone call every week. Nc made it much easier to move past victimhood since i wasn't being reminded about it on a weekly basis.
since childhood ive waited to be saved to be loved and to be seen. ended up marrying a narcissist and repeated my childhood and i now i see i was waiting for me all along..
this is life changing work Jerry will def pay for the workshop..thank thank you thank you...
Wonderful
"Jenny's" story is my story too.
Same here,,,
Instead of saying victim better to say survivor it's more proactive and sounds stronger to set out on a path of self recovery and self empowerment. Being aware is the first step to healing. Tks Dr.Jerry Wise for all your valuable insights and sincere guidance. God bless you 🙏
It was very helpful for me to start calling myself a SURVIVOR of childhood abuse/neglect, rather than calling myself a VICTIM of childhood abuse/neglect.
Yep, survivors have scars, but the open wounds are healed. Once healed, we are able to be a light to those who are hurting. Got a Switchfoot song in my head, Where the Light Shines Through.
Very clear, valuable and helpful content!
I am a "Jenny" as well, so this video was very relatable to me. Thankyou!
Thanks Jerry. Great delivery
From victim to victor that's where I'm heading.
I just realized that in spite of having all material needs met, and not a divorce family, in spite of my father giving me unconditional acceptance and a safe emotional space (narc mom) i was almost completely unparented. So strange.
Severe early childhood trauma causes live long oversensitive stress responses in the brain. It is not always possible to heal that. Wounds that time won't heal completely. If you feel like a failure if you don't succeed to reach full recovery, maybe acceptance and learn to live with it is a better way?
Severe amygdala damage from what I’ve come across.
I am so thankful to you Jerry for all these videos. You are a life saviour. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
You are very welcome
Timing of this coaching is spot on today - thank you. Just spent time with family member and feeling bothered. I dealt well enough with situation but had negative emotions to deal with later.
Words of wisdom 🙏 thank you Jerry for sharing the truth.
Thanks for listening
Excellent talk! Thank you so much, Jerry!
I think this is one of the best of all of your videos!!!!! Thank you so much!!!!!
Wow, thank you!
this one is really good Jerry. Really, really good!
Dr. Margaret Paul and Jerry Wise. Very much looking forward!
Just posted the interview
Best advice ever. Thank you so much !! 🙌
You're so welcome!
Its a process but its possible. Thank you Mr.Wise.blessings to you.
I’ve come to understand what my narcissistic mother has done to me, I’m trying so hard to move beyond stagnation but I found myself married to another narcissist with two kids. The situation is now so complicated that I can barely see how it will end. I don’t have the means to pay for therapy either. Please pray with me as I earnestly pray for all victims of this subtle evil emotional abuse.
@TinTin A - Try to find self help by listening to useful UA-cam videos and join a codependency anonymous group. Be strong. Stay strong. Stay blessed 🙏
I'm so sorry😥 .. I'll pray for you. Sending love peace strength and boundary around you to keep it. Strength for you and your babies. Sending warm hugs when it gets too hard.
When you are ready..the holy spirit will provide a smooth getaway.. and peace. I know..because I've been where you are.
@TinTin A,
I agree with Mirella’s and Rain Quietly’s comments below. Also, I belong to a Church Group called Celebrate Recovery. This is free too and available in thousands of Churches in the USA. It provides help for people undergoing any hurt, habit or hang up based on the 12-step program but also based on the love and power of Jesus Christ! This might help you as well if you are interested! 🙏
@@abladeofgrass1003 thank you so much for your soothing words of encouragement. Keeping these words to where I can easily access it whenever needed because indeed I’m counting on the Holy Spirit and divine grace to guide my path one day at a time .Thank you 🙏🏾
@@JesusSaves77799 , thank you , yes I’m interested, how do I access them? Any website available?
This is super helpful. 12:53 especially.
Jerry could you talk about how we do this "Help others and acts of kindness" while holding boundaries against more narcissistic abuse... ; ) K
So helpful. It is HOW you say it.
Glad you think so!
LOL
Jerry I liked the way you discussed the up-side of playing the victim. Really helpful videos. Thanks ; ) K
"A victim feels retraumatized when others don´t understand them or offer them sympathy. And that´s staying in the victim role, because I don´t have to have other people understand my experience . It´s great if they do and if I can find that [understanding] in a recovery group, with a therapist or coach, a pasteur or someone who I am working with, even friends. If I can find that [understanding] that´s wonderful, but I don´t have to have it [understanding] IF I am accepting, understanding and loving myself which moves us out of the victim role."
Wow Jerry thank you for more wonderful insights into my own thoughts, behaviors and my recovery! Especially the need to be “Right”! I understand better now what that need really is! You are such a blessing 😊✝️❤️
We have been 'trained' to be victims. When we refuse to be one, we don't know what response is appropriate when someone tries to victimize us. Just saying "No" doesn't work. They wouldn't BE trying to victimize us if they hadn't already got some power or authority over us (boss, teacher, etc). Most of these people will not back down unless their power is equally matched (by position, authority, wealth, physical size...)
Listening to the Jenny story made me undergo great pain I can still remember today (!)
Thank you Dr. Wise.
Thanks for listening
30 years ago I was wrapping up a doctoral program, feeling happy and successful, nearly escaped from my narcissist mother's abuse. After finishing the residency and my teaching and after my contract ended I started writing the disseration. I wasn't feeling well. I was feeling depressed, anxious and very alone. I was also without much money. My mother and dad let me come back home to staty with them. My mother and I quarelled. A lot. It was the same old thing. She finally wore me down. She threatened to kick me out. I was suffering severe inflammation in my body (later diagnosed as Lupus). She told me to come with her to see a gynecologist. They talked privately. Before I knew it I was in a psychiatrist's office and my mother had enrolled me wiith SSI disability and Medicaid. I was too exhausted to fight any longer. I gave in. I had no one else. The "fawning' began.30 years later she's dead and put me under a Special Needs Trust. I can't claim my own inheritance. My older sister, who despises me. controls the money. I'm 62 and actually not well now. I was never "mentally ill' - at least not enough to not work, and my work was my life. So what do I do now? I was my mother's victim. Now I'm my sister's -exactly as my mother planned it. The sibling triangulation was fierce and perfect. I'm still living on $900 a month but, lucky me, I can get 'extras' if I beg for them. My lawyer just shakes his head. Actually the entire story is even worse. Again, please tell me how I can throw off the victimhood when I'm still the victim?
I"m unable to escape. I'm caught in this new abusive relationship until the day I die. No potential partner would even want a relationship with a woman who has to live under these conditions. If I marry I lose the SSI, medicaid and - convenienty there isn't enough in the trust to afford myself an independent living. I wasn't mentally ill before, but these people are going to break me.
Thank you ❤️ Jerry for creating this wonderful video and giving me some tools to use to change my life. How do I do my grief?
Ah, "squaring the ledger"! It's time for my financial definition of forgiveness. Forgiveness = forgiving a debt. Only God can forgive sins. We can forgive debts. Like your parents owe you a "good enough" childhood, an apology, time with the other parent, etc. Write them off. They will never pay u back, so don't expect them to. I had to go nc to forgive my covert narc mom and learn the skills she never taught me. The more skills i learn, the less contempt i have for her.
Thank you. ❤️
❤️☺️ i thank you so much for reaffirming for me, that i truly HAVE been on the right path!! (I was stuck in.. I think I NEEDED to be stuck in the victimization role for So so long!!) ❤️
You are so welcome
Jerry, love your videos. One thing I wish you would add would be notes, bullet points across the screen. It really helps. Les Carter does that & I take notes. Consider it. Thanks
Jerry, can we see more of these kinds of videos? The ‘what next’ after emotional detachment is achieved in an authentic level, please? Guidance in building self would be great next topics. Thanks for considering!
I need help with this. But I’m too poor to get all the help I need. I come from liars, narcs, drunks, and infinite dysfunction. Now I have to pay to get decent ppl attention.
I have found a lot of support in the Al-Anon program. It’s only a few dollars a meeting. I have an amazing sponsor to help me in my road to recovery. Her friendship has helped me heal in many ways. Best wishes to you!
Thank you - Excellent video. I wonder if victimhood brought to a far enough point can lead to paranoia?
I think hypervigilence and paranoia are telling signs of psychological abuse, not feeling safe and secure because the enemy was our caregivers.
I ❤ Jerry
Yes
I think I'm drama bonded with my sisters. I'm having holidays from them for two/three weeks now. 🤔
Jerry, I would like to eventually meet you.
What city do you live in?
@@jerrywise Crawfordsville
Amen.
A link to a Patreon account for Jerry? I would like to make a donation, I find your content incredibly helpful and reassuring at the same time. And love your personality ! 🙂
You can donate on my website www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com or Pay pal to jwlearning@hotmail.com or Cashapp or Zelle or Venmo Thank you for your kind offer.
I'm starting to think many ppl ..or a high percentage of ppl are suffering from this. Most ppl around me. They are just unaware and think its normal. Could this be?? Or am I projecting?? Or is it just my culture?? But.. so many ppl are suffering..yet they have no idea they are suffering because they think that this is life and it is the way it is. They cannot phathom another way of existence. I rarely see a balanced loving parent. I know I will probably get shit for this comment.. and ppl don't want to hear this.(especially in my community) .but... this is critical in the black community. I don't think ppl realize this. It's like they not only understand what vulnerability is.. but cannot phathom it. The cycle continues because this is like..literally the way of life. It's like we cannot even phathom being loved and hugged. Listened to.. prioritized. But..I see on social media..ppl are changing slowly. Few post, they don't call it narcissism.. but they shine a light on the abuse. I get it ..it's so deep. Idk how to ..show others. I'm not good at articulating.
I understand, to me your words make perfect sense. I always tried to make people see as well and be helpful but then I realised painfully it doesn't work. We can only change ourselves and this isn't an easy task. And trying to be more kind and self loving and accepting doesn't prevent one from bumping into unhealthy people. I guess it's a long process to recovery with some set backs, but there's no alternative really.
And I agree, we should all be happier from the inside out and really connecting to one another. Hopefully humans become this way through deep learning some beautiful day in the future :)
@@Sandromeda. thank you. Im starting to think it's way deeper, must be. It's like we are just the ones waking up.. in a spiritual sense. Like, evolving. Narcissism is not rare.. it's very common..or maybe even a state of being ..like a default.
@@abladeofgrass1003 yes. Waking up. Or remembering. In fact, I believe that we are not born like this and should not develop into this sickness. But it happens while growing up and doesn't get easier during adult life. Wish you goodness and kindness in your life, be well:) greetings from Germany!
@@Sandromeda. you as well! Sending strength love and comfort love and peace to you 🤗🌱🌺🌿
If your the victim there is always a predator. They just pick new predators through projection of these negative qualitied on to others. The problem is others may not have these attributes that are projected on to others.
that's so true but was prey to these nuts before i even knew my mother was a narc..she elected to wait for me to be abused in my adult life by a series of them to wait for my downfall to unmask herself, though i always knew something was wrong..prior to that, i always was independent and relatively successful all considering not impacted at least consciously by my upbringing...they still seem to spot people. i don't know how. if i am in a crowd they find me and i'm not someone who has any weak demeanor. Its a spiritual battle for sure...totally a spiritual disorder...i've learned that clearly in my dealings with them and the timing..they seem to pop up one right after another..it's crazy.
@@AC-ew2xr learn the 3 E's and the way they pick victims by giving a compliment combined with a devaluation of you. Like those ear rings look nice on you and then they say but they kinda make your ears look fat. Therir testing your reaction. My reaction. Goodbye.
@@edgreen8140 YES...i know but i get picked without saying a word or getting any compliment its very bizarre...i guess they aren't all cookie cutter. i heard from a malignant narc they can read auras. Seems to be true...they see your light just looking at you because demons possess superpowers too they just use them for darkness as opposed to us using them for light. The worst disorder to deal wth!
Victim hood is popular these days. People are rewarded for staying victims
Sometimes the girlfriend of the victim that has been ghosted just wants to know if they are ok, and are fearful that the narcissistic antisocial phycopathic Machiavellian abusers harmed them(Kimberly Bomstad)
jerry what lecture applies to a case where a child has to raise her young siblings after the father dies with a total incompetent mother still living?
I don't think I have a specific video on this topic if you would like to work with me or one of my associates, let me know Dan. jerrywise5@gmail.com Jerry Wise
It’s not easy. There are articles online about what happens to the oldest child that has to take on a parental role to younger siblings. Often the oldest gets scapegoated while the younger siblings protect the parents.