How to overcome challenging times & mini life update
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- Опубліковано 18 вер 2023
- Everyone is faced with challenging times at some point in life and I think the key to not only overcoming those challenges but growing through them is to become self-aware, to give them purposeful meanings and to have a vision for your future. I'm a new mom and I'm not going to sugarcoat it, is hasn't been easy! But I'm grateful for this experience because ultimately I'm growing through my struggles.
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Single mom here of 3 from 3 years old to 16. My kiddos lost their father in 2020. Everyone experiences challenges. I needed this ❤️
Sorry to hear that, sending you love ❤
Blessings to you and your kids
I'm so sorry for your loss, I cannot even imagine the difficulty of losing my husband. I'm sure that you discovered strength that you didn't know you have. You're an amazing mama
I am already alone and single life 33?My education graduate? My life is need a woman accepted me my life as a life partner? You are husband diath?You are need a life partner? I am already alone and single life? You are accepted me my life as a life partner? I am thankful to you full of life? You are 3children i am missing children in a life? You are any question about my alone life? I am reply to you?🌹🌹🌹❤❤❤🙏🙏🙏
I am already alone and single life 33?My education graduate? My life need a woman as a wife? My life is need a woman accepted me my life as a life partner? My life is need a woman as a wife? I am join your life as a life partner? You are accepted me
Being a mom full time for the 1st 2-3 years of my sons life was the best decision ive ever made. Its shift from business to motherhood but its so worth it
I am sooooo grateful that you're choosing to be authentic about your experience from shifting from full-time entrepreneur to motherhood. As someone who aspires to be a mom, this is giving me soooo much confirmation of how shift my buisness to be self-sustainable. You got this my love!!
Thanks girl! It's a huge identity shift and I know I will get back to business one day, but I've realized that this first year of his life is going to be full-time mom mode for me because he needs his mama and tbh I don't have the time to do anything else. I'm really grateful that I build a successful business before having him so that I can take this time off. But every moment with him is truly precious, it's so rewarding to watch him discover the world.
Creativity is essential for some of us. I had my baby 6-7 weeks ago and went through a rollercoaster with my hormones, labor recovery, breastfeeding, and marital discord from our mutual sleep deprivation. Things got a lot better when I started doing little creative projects - like five minutes here, five minutes there, tactile things like sewing patches of cute fabric over the warning labels on his bassinet. Cooking quick but truly satisfying meals, like pasta and cream sauce. I also occasionally pump a bottle for my husband to feed the baby and that buys me time to drink tequila. It helps.
Me ,as a single father with sole custody raising two daughters ,it wasn't easy, I did my best,.. sometimes I wish I can go back & fix all the mistakes I made but it is not possible....enjoy your time with your son! He need you the first months & years because you will raise the son you want with good values,.good values start in the first years not when they are 16 or 18 years old.
Single mom for the entirety of my 9 year old son's life. It is hard and does not get easier with time, it just gets different with time. But I will say, enjoy it always, because in a few years you may look back and realize you could have enjoyed it so much more than you did. You're doing great.💙😊
Thanks mama! Everyone keeps telling me that and I am taking it to heart, trying to be super present with Lucas so I can really experience the preciousness of the magic moments.
Lucas deserves most of your love, attention, and affection.. Don't let the world tell you where to place your focus! Let love help you become the tree that bends, but it doesn't break. You're wonderful and doing great Mama 🙌💗
Tatiana, thank you always for your honesty. This is why I have followed you for so long. I am sad to see your emotions regarding stopping business for now. Maybe Lucas will feel the frustration, and almost resentment emotions vs. feeling your happy emotions when you are thriving and doing what you love? I am not an expert , but if I can feel it through the videos, your baby must certainly feel the energy? Give yourself grace to part from him a bit and know that he is strong , like you. Wishing you all of the love and support that you have provided to all of us in You Tube land for years. You will be great and work it all out. Thanks so much for all you do. Blessings to you , Lucas and Stefan
I’m a single mom of 3 ages 8, 13 and 21 and I totally feel you on everything you said. It’s a huge change and it’s so rewarding. I would say that you are in for a huge surprise how this will make you stronger in ways you’re nit even aware of yet. Also, there will be many lessons that will make things easier. Most of them are learned in the first year or 2. I’d say that things will get a lot more clear and easier and more fun when he’s about 18 months-2 years. That’s when the naps are not as sporadic and you can get out more. You’ll feel healthier and stronger and more confident in your new role. So many things are shifting at this time and that’s just the season. It’s the baby season. We are isolated with our baby a lot and it tbh it’s crazy making and there’s no way around it. No good mother is exempt from the process, the struggle, the heartache and pain and the intensity of it all. There’s nothing else like it and all good mothers are basically shamans imho. It’s a long strange trip. It’s so worth it and the healing, the transformation and the heart and spiritual awakening are unprecedented. Men can’t quite relate but they do also change. This can be an adjustment. I am hoping you will join mommies groups where you can get out and talk with other mommas and hear their stories and realize you are not alone. The biggest stress will come from the inability to surrender to the role you’ve chosen. If we fight nature and the baby’s natural needs to be close and feel secure, there will be consequences. There’s just no way around it. Therapy might be helpful or at least taking with other moms who you trust and look up to. Family and support is also so important. We were meant to raise our children and tribes, and to share the burden with our family and community. One person being alone with a child all day for too many days too many weeks too many months is a recipe for depression and anxiety. It’s so important to get some time to yourself. But I also understand wanting to bond with your child as much as possible and he’s very few first months. It will be gone soon and it is such a crucial time. I would say just hold on tight and do what you can and know that it’s just a difficult time the first few months, but honestly, it gets easier and more and more fun the older they get! There will always be challenges, but there’s nothing as hard as these first few months this first year these first couple years. Get a nanny to come in as a mothers helper so that you can be there and try to find someone who understands attachment parenting and can be like an auntie to your baby. I was a nanny when I was a young adult and I still keep in touch with my girls that I took care of 30 years later! You’ve got this mama! You can do it and you’re going to be a great mommy and create a great relationship and arrangement so that you can do some sort of work that is compatible with being the best mom you know how to be! My kids are turning out great, and I’m even homeschooling them now which was always a dream of mine. Somehow the creator always makes a way when we open our mind and heart to the infinite possibilities. Much love and blessings from Hawaii!
i have two kids under 5 and watch some mom channels on youtube. This is the most realistic and true mothering content i’ve seen. I can see in your face exactly how you feel trying to talk to the camera while your beautiful baby is wriggling around. I’ve been there!! He is SO young still, all you can do is release expectations of yourself. With me i eventually started finding pockets of the day where i was able to build back my work and work on the business. The line between work and homelife is now completely blurred but i have time for both. You’re doing amazing!! It won’t be 24 hours forever, he’ll sleep though eventually. Also don’t be afraid of feeding to sleep, co sleeping when everyone’s exhausted, etc. none of it lasts forever, do what works for you 😘
For me, as my children got older I started to notice some preprogrammed sayings or behaviors come out of me. I knew right away this was what my parents said in their time of reaction while I was growing up. All this started my road of breaking generational trauma. Being self aware means you are already on your way to recovery. I was self aware as a child as we all are, our parents find ways to brush everything aside emotionally which makes us not trust our own gut. Its terrible but this is most of society. Moving forward, I stay present, I am very close with my kids and never stop learning and growing and having the hard conversations. AND I take care of myself emotionally so I can handle their emotions too.
The days are long but the years are short. Your doing great!
You’re doing amazing! You’ll find the time to work when the time is right. The moments will come as he grows where you will have free time As a mom you’re doing the right thing. You’re actually doing what you’re instinctually meant to do which is care for your baby. Nannies are wonderful, but I do strongly believe children need their parents. Especially in the first 7 years of their life. You will find the time to work as your schedule with him
Becomes more predictable. When breastfeeding ends and he start solids, you will find more time for yourself. I would work while my son took naps, or when dad took over in the evenings :) but again, it was after breastfeeding that dad was able to take over the evenings more often. When dad can help with dinner and bathtimes in the evenings. It promotes a great bonding time while you get a shower in, or just some “me time”! There’s so much I could share but you seem like you’re doing just great mama. Cherish this time with your baby! It’s what we’re meant to do! You made the right call there!❤ sending your family so much love! ❤
The best way to view this time is that it is just a season. One day he wont always need you, but right now he does. Thinking of it that way has helped me to kind of enjoy the clinginess and neediness of my babies especially in the 1st year. Their time for independence will come but that time is not now. That secure attachment you were talking about is the most important. People think clingy babies who only want their mom will grow to not be independent and actually psychologically speaking, and studies have shown the opposite. He is loved and cared for and youre doing amazing. I knoe its hard especially with the mom guilt, but you are an amazing mother!
Much Love Tati ❤ You will never regret the time you spend with your kids. The days are long but the years are short. I put my career off to raise and homeschool kids. Back at it. I feel behind sometimes. I have never been financially successful YET! No regrets EVER. My kids are my Legacy. You are amazing, supported and loved. Thank you for sharing , Gorgeous ❤❤❤❤
Great to see you with your son. Don't worry about getting back to work, appreciate the time you have. I have 2 kids, time goes very fast and it doesn't come back. There is nothing more valuable in this world than having and raising kids, it is the best investment anyone can make.
"The only people who don't have problems are those who are in the graveyard. You dont have control over the world around you, all you can control is yourself and how you react to challanges. That is what makes the difference between something taking you out, versus you pulling through a challenge and actually growing from that experience and being better off than you were before ever having faced the challange. I want the growth expieriance."🔥🔥🔥🔥
I saved this quote in my journal. SUCH wise words. Thankyou!
I totally relate to the dropping in consciousness. I am a mother of 5 and it is very challenging but it's even worse when my husband and I both become reactive to negative situations, it is essential for us to be a team and both be in an understanding state of one another. it's hard!
Tatiana! Thank you so much for sharing this, espcially the last 12 seconds. "No on really tells you what it's like." I so appreciate your being forthright and honest surrounding the challenges of becoming a mom and how you're moving through the shift from Maid to Mother. Thank you Thank you.
Not a mom but I’m happy to see you be vulnerable and share wisdom with us. It helped me a lot, especially the feeling your feelings part. Thank you and welcome back.
Thanks girl, I am glad that you enjoyed it even though you're not a mom, these principles apply to all life's challenges but I just so happen to be going through the challenges of being a FTM.
Every young woman should watch this - thank you for being so transparent! I've raised my kids and ran my business, but yes, I had my mom everyday to help with out "3 under 3" kids for years (we had twins) but I could not have done it w/o her!
Congrats - you guys will figure this out, we all do!
A baby does challenge your relationship & you are constantly learning how to be a better communicator of each other needs. You are absolutely right that your time right now is to be with your child. To be loving him. Trying to built a secure attachment style for your child is essential . You are doing great 👍😃
I went through exactly the same thing with my little one last year. Change of self identify, change of priorities, change of relationship dynamics, change of what my day looks like. When you talk about inner conflict of wanting to be a good mama but also wanting to back to entrepreneurship i totally get it because i felt the same. I also struggled deeply with “being fair” - i think my husband’s job was too easy so i held lots of resentment which also stressed our relationship. A year later, we grow stronger as a family and the little one is in daycare part of the week so I slowly get my time back for me, and my work. Everything will turn out the way you want it. Sending so much love! 💕
Whenever you can post, is fine. It's always great seeing - hearing from you. Baby Lucas is growing lovely !!
Both my kids were very clingy to me for the first 12 months of life. I am a stay at home mom who breastfed so it makes sense. My son is now 4 and my daughter is 20 months old. Both are very happy, independent, spunky little beans. I have found the first year to be the hardest by far! There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Said with so much honesty! "Just don't expect to do anything else the first 3-4 months." Definitely was like 5-6 months for me with my first. Now at 11 months; naps are 1-2 hours long twice a day. Much better than the 20-30 minute cat naps in the early months! Wishing your family well!
I remember your older videos with Stefan when you guys would talk about all the couple/relationship stuff people ought to do and give advice... I remember replying on one of your videos that, your advice was good and fine but not very realistic for most people with kids.
Now you have just one kid, imagine having several more and also having a physically demanding job where you can't just take time off.
It's tough.
❤👍👍. Thank you Tatiana for your transparency, and for offering such honest information and helping us to internalize our life situation us. I really love this particular video because it's helped me to remember and be conscious of how to better handle things and to know that there are some things we can't control, and some things that we cannot, therefore focus on what we can within and about ourselves.
I think we have to remember and give ourselves permission to not to be so hard on ourselves IF we are doing the best that we can in this moment and to be patient with ourselves.
I pray God's continued blessings for you your husband and your beautiful child. 🙏❤️
Also that’s something people dont talk about enough is that a baby will test your relationship alot. Not even from a malicious stand point but the constant bickering due to lack of sleep or over working or under working etc
Tatiana, Bella, you are doing an AMAZING job as new mom!! Your honesty and candid thoughts are so so being heard by your followers! With everything going on, all the changes and tiredness - you still manage to deliver us advice and a pathway to overcome challenges! You have a lot on your new plate and its gonna be new waters for a bit.... but girl you got this, and you got it right making Lucas your world right now.... We all love seeing how you are with Lucas, he is so beautiful!!! Sending you, Lucas and Stefan so much love from Toronto! You amazing Mamma Bear you!!
What a wonderful video. Your baby appeared very content. I'm sure that is not all the time for babies don't always do what you need, at the moment.
I'm actually speaking of your demeanor with each other.. very telling. It's loving, very in synk with each other.
So natural, flow..
It's the change you have had to deal with.
You are more beautiful and inspiring than even before.
You are precious and so is your baby.
Love your authenticity 💗 it’s incredible refreshing!
Girl, those breastfeeding days are the absolute hardest. I breastfed mine for almost 2 years each. Many times on video with the camera pointed above the collarbone area. lololol
I promise it gets easier. Don't worry too much about your biz at this time. Just enjoy your baby and sleep/rest/be happy as much as you can. It goes by quicker than you realize - even though it seems endlesssssss while you are in it.
And yes, newborns are so so hard on a couple's relationship. I think every co-parent can attest to that. Mothers resent their husbands during that first year..... It's inevitable. Because your whole entire identity has changed, while his will pretty much remain the same. Mothers are the goddesses of the universe, so that's just how it has to be. :)
Hi Tatiana,
Thank you for being so authentic about your first experiences as a mom. I knew I could learn a lot from you business wise, but I am so grateful you’re sharing this part in your life as well. Because you inspire me, you inspire a lot of people actually. Even though like you might feel you’re not there yet as a mom, I know you’re doing great. Your intentions are good and that is what counts.
Hope you’re feeling better soon. We all know you are a strong woman and also a very good mom for your baby.
Wish you the best!
Amber
Girl I feel you , I have two little one , n my youngest is today her birthday 1st yr old . I work full time at home and I watch my kids while I'm at n I try these side hustle so I gave more time and going to school . Yea it a change but they won't be like that for long. I would say just focus on the baby cause it goes by soooo fast . So it will change I promise and then ull have more time for you . N I get you, with the nanny I'm the same but it breaking me also but again it goes away so just do you , your baby is more important and you only get this once in a lifetime never comes back so be the best mommy , you go girl
Thanks, being Mommy of 5 with a newborn and trying to move overseas, my stress is over the roof. I needed to hear this. My family thinks I am crazy. I am tired 😫
Your doing amazing and have your head in the right space! You can’t do it all.. but also you will never regret spending this time with him. Be kind to yourself xx being a mum is hardest job ever because you care so much and stakes so high. He’s beautiful x
Wow what a beautifully candid video, I can relate to so much of this baby. My baby is almost two and it’s still challenging, thank you Tatiana I’ve always loved your content 💜💜💜 please never feel bad if you need to take a break / you feel you’ve been inconsistent, you’ve provided so much value in the past. Your true supporters see that x baba is soo cute x
I’m so glad that I have found your channel! You said everything. That I needed to hear! And I love listening you being so grateful, so strong, see things as blessings and wanting to be the best example to your child and he will for sure become a greeeeat human being ❤
Tatiana, you are doing a great job! My son is 6 now and once he started school I was able to have some free time for myself and things I want to do. I am also stay at home mom, never had any help, not even from my husband. I am looking to do something to earn money and love to do but haven't fugured it out yet. I love hair, make up and clothes. I do have a BA in Psychology and used to work as a case manager for people with mental health issues before I had my son. Enjoy your little Lucas! Sending love and light from USA❤🌻☀️💋
Maam, you are a true inspiration and a true intellectual. Respect from Pakistan.
I totally understand sweet one! It took me legit over a year with my first baby to be able to leave her with my husband's mother, and she raised and birthed 8 babies! Attachment is so normal and makes time move very slooow. Just relish it and walk every step with intention and acceptance. Soon enough he will be walking and playing on his own. Now I have 2 biological daughters (ages 3 and 2) and they play together all day long without my assistance. It was very hard at first, but now it is easy, and time is moving swiftly!
Oh gosh! You are just so authentic and wise beyond your years to post a video like this for yourself and others! I will keep you and baby in my prayers and hope that you become stronger and even more beautiful on the inside. God bless you
Good to see you Tatiana:-) My best friend had a velcro baby too and only the first year was challenging but after Lucas will start verbally communicating everything will be easier:-) Lots of love to you from Calgary!
I love how you see chalenges as gifts.. So inspiring
so true when you said the most fulfilling thing you can do is being a Mother ❤️ If you read the Bible - being a Proverbs 31 woman is MY goal, and what God calls us women to be. Mothers that raise kids to love us and to be a blessing to our husbands, we all as humans are made to love & serve & be selfless beings like Jesus🤍
Thank you for the update!! I’m sure this isn’t realistic but I’d be so curious of a “day in the life with a baby” vlog style type of video from you - him/your routine would be so interesting! when/if you feel up to it of course. Wishing you all the love!!! ❤
Thanks for another insightful video Tatiana, empowering and reminding us x
Tatiana, have you ever heard of a Saturn Return? It happens in our life between about ages 28-31. It’s when we are given a challenge that helps us fully transition into adulthood. For a lot of women it comes in the form of marriage and childbirth. I think it would be worth looking into. Good luck ❤
Looking beautiful ❤ be easy on yourself ☺️
This is one of the best videos of not the best video I’ve ever seen to help me over come / get through my challenges. Thank you!
God bless you and your beautiful family Tatiana ❤.
love your content, you give the real answers to life and not sugar coat anything. Love to see more content? maybe a podcast with the hubby? maybe more family vlogs to make it a 2 in 1?
It gets easier in a lot of ways the older the baby gets. There will be other challenges but the baby phase is pretty difficult. It becomes more fun the older they are. It gets easier with the second child you're not as cautious about everything... Having a child with health issues slows you down and grows your faith even more. Kids are a lot tougher than we think.
And he's teething you can get him an amber necklace or bracelet to help with the inflammation and drooling. And it's ok to feel how you feel mom guilt is normal but maybe you can try out 30- 1 hour a day or every other day with a nanny so you can have some time to yourself and it's ok to do absolutely nothing at all during that time. You're no good to anyone if you're not taking time to yourself or taking care of yourself.
Theres a book I think it's everyone should be a millionaire. She talks about money but also life. She mentions delegating your tasks more and not feeling the mom guilt about it bc we have to take care of ourselves and things need to get done without us feeling worn down.
Also each age is a phase it comes and goes. And maybe right now is not the time for your business he needs you more but soon he will be in pre-k (3-4 years old) and you will have your days. Or he will be 1-2 years old walking and would enjoy a dog sanctuary with you. You are doing great and you need to remind yourself of that everyday bc you won't hear it. But know that you are doing a wonderful job!♥️♥️
You are just wonderful Tatiana, you’re so inspiring to me. You’re clearly so strong, you can overcome anything 🫶🤍✨
It takes a village 💓 love you Tatiana!!
Blessings; I appreciate your honesty and I am sure you are an incredible Mom.
I think it's time for you to use your resources and make things easier for yourself. Find the best nanny who is kind, positive, and full of love, and together, raise your child. You won't be able to raise your child the way you want if you're emotionally stressed or absent, and that's what the child perceives and what can negatively impact them. The goal is to find a way for you to be well and at ease, and then things will naturally fall into place. You are the key in this, and you need to be happy and relaxed. Find a way to relax and invest in all the help you need and organize. Apply everything you've done for your business to this most important project ❤️. You know everything; just remember 🌿
It is so hard to have the identity shift especially after your first child. You will figure it out, your hormones are still going wild. Be easy on yourself❤
You got this and everything will work itself out. The days are long and the years are short with kids. Make sure to speak up with what you need from your hubby.
Thank you for this video!❤❤❤❤
Thanks so much for the video.
So nice to hear all that, cause no matter how successful, wealthy etc you are, you always 100% real, trying to help everyone with the useful business and life advices.
Thank you ❤
Totally understand this ! What I’m currently going through. 😅
Tatiana thank you for sharing this message of how we perceived life. Life is happening for me!
Thank you for sharing this Tatiana,,,, I have learned a lot on how to overcome challenges,,,,, and for you and Lucas, I just wish you all the best and pure happiness
Love you ❤ your baby is adorable!!
Get a nanny it’ll be so much helpful because you really do need some time for yourself and with Stefan having a baby can be so overwhelming especially if you don’t have any help😢 I can relate to so much you spoke about. Love that you spoke on this, because there really isn’t enough shared on this.
Such amazing content, as always Tatiana ❤ thank you very much
Loved the video, thank you for filming.🤍
Also remember to be present. Your doing a great job
I love you , You’re a good mum ❤️, my baby Lucas is 4months old and he is my first… so I can relate. Well done mama
It's gonna get easier and you will also grow stronger. Much love
Great video Tatiana. I'm waiting new video. Great weekend to you and family. I'm from Brazil.
You’re doing great girl! Everything you want to do will fall into place in time xx
Thank you for uploading this video, I have a newborn baby as well, really helpful tips!❤
Congratulations for your baby
i Love how inspiring you are ! u are a real women and that's wht we love about you
Lady try try tryyyy not to let him get hooked on that thumb - I’m a dental hygienist and that will be a nightmare for you down the road - weaning him off it and the biggest concern - an open bite. That can ruin his occlusion and could require jaw surgery when he’s older … just a little tip, I know you need peace too - but looking out for you ❤
Welcome back Tatiana😊
He is such a beautiful baby!
glad you had some time, girl 💌
i know my comment won’t ever be read but wow that has to be the best mother i have ever seen and heard you will raise a superhuman
Great mother!
I need to hear this because I dealing with challenges and new change.
The Video is very Helpful, Glory be to God...!😇😇👍👍
Wise woman ✨
Congrats on number 2🎉🎉🎉🎉
You are doing amazing!! Every part of life is a cycle. Just enjoy this part of this cycle. This to shall pass my love. Trust that everything will be in perfect alignment. Also, challenges and expierances give us the opportunity to speak on it because we have lived through it. You have to have lived it to preach it. So blessed!!!
Sending love and trust.
Congratulations on your beautiful Angel in disguise. 🫶🏼
Such a great watch
Wonderful woman
0:01 Tatiana you are absolutely drop dead gorgeous
This is exactly what I needed to hear today
I'm 42 and I've lost two husbands... not sure this constitutes "challenges." I see it more as life-altering devastation, with no real "blessing" in it. My life was pretty perfect up until I lost my first husband. My second husband was my beauty of ashes, and now God took him too. I don't see a future and don't think I could dare dream of a future after going through what I have. This is beyond regular normal, life challenges. No one in my life can relate to the level of devastation I've been through.
You are such a good communicator If you'd ever start a podcast I would be the first to listen to it
Did you move out of Canada? Background looks beautiful! Hope you and Lucas are enjoying what looks like warmer weather haha
so powerful ❤
Great video!
Tatiana I am watching your videos after a long long time and where were you and I really really missed your videos so so much and I wish you have a best Tuesday💗💫😀
Hi Tatiana, you're a big inspiration.
I have a question: Out of all the places, how did you know Panama was the one for you?
Why not Eastern Europe, South East Asia or the Caucasus? How did you decide on that?
I missed you so much 😢❤
He’s soooo cute 🥰
Hey Tatiana, I have followed you guys for a while, and in your early days you said that you are putting in the time then to grow your business, in order to free yourself up for when you become a mom. You don't have to work now. It's not a coincidence that in some European countries, maternal leave is up to 2-3 years of age (when the child has weaned from breastfeeding, and when they are READY to have their social circle extended with new persons (ie: nannies and such) This is not the time to work.This is the dilemma of all working mothers and you should listen to your guilty intuitions telling you you need to be by your baby, NOW.
I can assure you this will not last forever. At 2 he will probably be running and want to explore the world, you will have a hard time catching him for a kiss. However, through experience, and through the wisdom of several books I have realized and read that a baby needs their mom for the first 7-10 years. You are their rock, you are their stability. The challenge I think you are facing the most is with yourself, how you said.. the identity shift, However this will create an even more abundant identity for yourself. Let Stefan be the father and the provider, and let yourself be the mom and the caregiver. Those are the natural roles of the human male/female dynamic (just look back at the hunter/gatherer times). I am not sure if you have read the 7 year cycle of the human growth, however after about year 7 the child will lean more toward their dad, since they are going to be watching, learning and copying everything he does to become more like him. The mom will be the cushion in the background:)
Well those are my few cents on this topic! If you read this, I hope it helps!
All the best from Europe! :)