Beatrice Chestnut - Type 2 Enneagram Panel
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- Опубліковано 4 сер 2024
- Type 2 Panel on day two of the Enneagram Panel Workshop Series (Types 2, 3 & 4) with Beatrice Chestnut and host, Michael Lerner
Enneagram is an archetypal depth psychology. It has enormous power to deepen our insight into ourselves and others. As a follow-up to our last TNS conversation with author and enneagram expert Beatrice Chestnut, we’re offering a three-part series of workshops to explore enneagram further in depth. Each workshop will feature a three- to five-person panel of enneagram “types”.
“I said I wasn’t gonna cry”
All 2s immediately identify❤️
2s don't realize their strength and comfort they project and give to others just by being present 💛
As a Self Preservation 4 , I feel this strong impulse to protect them, to make them know that they are loved for who they are and that they are enough as they are.
the Hachi and Nana effect 😮
@@saturncat7676+1 for the reference
2s confuse their habitual fawn response to stress and trauma with love. Fawn response has been described by Pete Walker. The toddler develops it when healthy instincts of protest (fight) or running away (flight) from unsafe caregiver met with more punishment or abandonment. If she is naturally intuitive, she will learn how to emotionally complement and sooth the parent while abnegating herself. Sometimes she is even rewarded by a scrap of approval or attention.
It is not always 2 please because they want something from you. Frequently, definitely true with self pres 2, they are unconscious to their fear of retaliation. That is why 2s grow by moving to healthy side of 8 and reclaim they self-protective (fight) response that allows them to act with healthy self interests and by moving to healthy side of 4 that allows them to know their own heart, mind and preferences and reduce self censorship. 2s are very compassionate people who grow by turning their compassion towards own inner child.
So well said Anna , thanks
For Kathy at the bedside of her friend . . I've been thinking a lot lately about the gift of "empathic presence". I never realized until now just how much that is a trait of 2s!! Thank you for sharing that. I was a Funeral Director for 42 years .. and now I see why it was such a satisfying career!
This was one of the best panel talks I have heard. As a 2, this spoke to me so much.
"All the giving I was giving was actually taking." That's profound!!
As a 5 (wing 4) mom of an adult 2 daughter, I said, "Yes!!" outloud when I heard that.
Sometimes the response to her helping/giving seems so connected to her well being that it's almost like rejecting it in any way is rejecting and hurting her.
I often feel pressured to go along and take her help when I don't need or want it, just to reassure her. But if I offer help (especially any advice) she refuses it instantly (almost angrily...though that might just be mom/daughter dynamics).
I've sometimes avoided her just so I don't feel pressured or have to deal with her emotional turmoil.
This panel is helping me understand and hopefully find ways to be supportive to my daughter.
I relate to this when it comes to my mother. She's always offering to do things. I usually want to say no because I didn't ask but sometimes I just go along with it. I relate with her getting hurt sometimes when her 'help' is rejected. Sometimes, her asking to help seems more like a habit than genuine care or intention. She also automatically starts talking about how she's somehow the cause of any negative emotion I may be feeling.
@@ogeo.8966 Weird tip that might work. I ask my daughter to go with me to check out grocery stores or coffee shops. She loves food. There's usually a reason I want to go, and I ask for her help with that too. She loves that.
Maybe that would be helpful with your mom?
Just make sure you leave enough time for browsing wherever you go. I suspect 2s like to look at ALL the things. Lol
@@dogdonut3 Nice tip lol. I also go places with her sometimes when I want something. And from time to time, I just accompany her. I relate to avoiding that 'giving' energy at times by keeping my distance. I think I even helped her get some perspective on why she should have some limits instead of always making excuses for people that don't treat her right. And she's helped me understand that sometimes being more accomodating and trying to make people comfortable can make things easier for everyone
@@ogeo.8966 That's great! I really like it when people can learn from each others differences. Very cool that you could do that.
That was I who offered a lot of help to my parents and ‘unconsciously’ demanded their love that ended tragically. Keep distance to type 2 child.
WAIT HOLY SHIT. THIS IS SO ACCURATE. "wait what do you see? because only if you see it, does it make my experience valid" holy shit I have thought that so many times in my life. Or that people could see things about me that I could not. The whole "everyone is going to notice that I am not a two and I don't even know it thing" wow wow wow. I have so many experiences like that it is crazy.
I am having my HOLY SHIT morning too! but it is 2 years after you writing. My was a realization after 25 years of Enneagram....that I actually did not know who I was...I was a makeup of every person I ever loved.
HA! I just recognized this because of a person I met yesterday. A Navajo painter/healer.
I think after all of Enneagram, I am just saw that my whole life I haven't known who I am and I don't even know how to be WHATEVER THAT IS! CRAZY!
Here is the joke,subconsciously I knew there was nothing he needed.
Thanks for listening!
Thank you to b and this panel of extremely brave people to show their vulnerable side, you may likely never know how many people this will help.
Thank you for this deeply insightful discussion; a key to unlock the cage door for whoever is ready to use it. As a 4 it helps me integrate after finally giving up on a relationship with a (currently suffering) 2.. I've seen the see-saw delusion of selflessness, the repression of their negative emotions that in turn rejects my negative emotions while believing they are unconditional, holding superior unforgiveness, blaming me for my anger at their profound disrespect of boundaries. All detailed here. As a 4, most shocking is the dishonesty; twisting facts to look good, along with petty snatching back of things he 'generously gave', but I trust he'll come to this freedom some day. I feel for their hurt, I see the mammys little helper, avoiding the pain that causes more, but I can't be the sacrifice any longer to that delusion. Bless you all for sharing your hard earned happiness. Your vulnerability and humour is priceless! May we all be free of our cages 🙏💕🌷
So often in my personal life, but it got really triggered in my spiritual work, was this belief that everyone knew something about me that I didn't know, and I was waiting for them to tell me. SO interesting.
I lived last 20 years believing I am 9 not knowing the loneliness, humiliation and feelings of betrayal from people around me brother and sisters, and even my own parent. I could have reached here to find I am 2w3 after experiencing serious rantings to them, bitter departs and financial loss. God I am so relieved now I should only do to love myself
I'm curious if 2's are especially vulnerable to codependency and hooking up with narcissistic people, and/or if this is a common result of being raised by emotionally unavailable narcissistic parents. All the tears here were so telling! I too cried many times while watching. Related so much to so many things.
Yes. We are definitely more susceptible to Codependency.
I think nearly anyone who was raised by a narcissist or in a long term relationship with a narcissist will display many 2 qualities, as well. 2 is what a narcissist sees as an ideal partner, they will groom 2 into you, and their love bombing courtship will make a genuine 2 (or any very neglected person) feel "seen", valued, and loved FINALLY. I think it can happen with most types, but the 2 might have the hardest time breaking free of the dance. Ross Rosenberg's channel and book would probably be most significant for 2's trying to free themselves of these unhealthy patterns.
Wow, nailed me! I also read her book, and it is changing my life. THANK YOU.
I believe I am a 2, but I do question whether I am a 9 because I seem to cope like a 9 under stress. I self medicate and I just want peace around me at this point in my life, probably because I am tired of trying to please people and it seems impossible to please anyone. After listening to this panel, it sounds like that is a 2 thing as well. I also test really high as a 4, so the Enneagram can be confusing at times, but these panel videos have been very helpful. Thank you!
I’m a Social 7 and would have mistyped myself as a Social 2 when I was younger. I feel subtypes are what help clarify type.
So enlightening! Thank you all!
Gosh I really identify with these twos but especially Jerry! I didn’t realize the pride aspect in all of my actions until getting into these videos but it totally makes sense..
Love these panels. Thank you ❤
Wonderful panel of Enneagram Type 2's thank you so very much for sharing. I will post to Facebook.
I am incredibly thankful for this! No words, just thankfulness ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thanks for these videos. They are so helpful, Dr. Chesnut.
Thanks so much for uploading these videos! They're very informative. Looking forward to those to come.
All videos live : ua-cam.com/play/PLeWY_tCA2qdBCbrJdGOZKhrJzdn_1pxQK.html
Thank you all for sharing so openly and lovingly and being vulnerable. This was very helpful. Sending lots of love and gratitude your way. ❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏🤗🤗🤗
Its wonderful that this is available!!!! thank you a lot!
I have watch all these panels on the 9 types so many times. And it is inredible, i learn something new everytime. Thank you so much for producing this insightfull content!
Correction: Anger from Type 8 is not unhealthy per se. When the 8 Type is sain, Its very natural and embraced as the force it is: to clear the athmosphere, to push to a better, clearer sight.
_Sane_
Michael, I am touched by your experience "first being a Nine". I wonder, whether you were inquiring inner PEACE and CONNECTION/LOVE. I believe I am a 9 but have been confused because loving people and the connection of the HEART had always been so important to me. Still I KNOW I am a 9. Was it only the anger issue that made you think you were a 9?
I just wrote in my journal this morning "who am I?" Now surprised about what I'd just discovered Here. I've been in practice with the Enneagram for 25 years....and just now at 78, I really don't know who I am????This is a gut OH NO!
It is so confusing at this moment to see this AND I know that it is also a new awakening.
It is overwhelming to think of walking into a room and actually KNOW BEFORE MEETING ANYONE.
I don't even know where to start??? REALLY. Maybe the reason I'm always a little nervouswhen I meet new people. YIKES
I am so grateful that I have a strong spiritual practice so this "I" doesn't fall apart...It is like one of those Russian dolls you open up and find a smaller doll inside the bigger one and on down to a tiny core doll. As I write I'm needing to express this, even though no one will read it because this is a 4 year old video. I'm using this space in LIVE SELF-discovery.
Below is Anna Sanders saying she wasn't going to cry. I didn't get past the first man's sharing. But I've finally learned that my tears are actually tears of joy when I hear or see the truth.
Below is Dan Dee, No I do not realize my strength or my being a comfort to others.
Then as I continue to write, it is as if something is unraveling. It explains what I wrote to Kristin Fries below. I met a Navajo painter/healer and my "habit" didn't work, because the subconscious had to admit he didn't need anything!!! HOLY COW! I am surprised by this unraveling, like pealing off my skin is not painful. Instead, it is exciting to realize there is no self....this is what the Buddha taught.
On the other hand, what is life like knowing who you are?
In deepest gratetude to this space which greated so much space in the confusion.
LOVE is all there is! 🙏❤
I laughed and cried through this whole thing 😂😭
I just scored (top three) 2,9,3. I'm still confused on the type 2...I had a great childhood, needs met, unconditionally loved, etc. I don't "need" others. I DO need to help others, serve others, show love and encouragement - consistently. This gives me the greatest joy in my life. I do not 'deny' my own needs - I did have to learn how to do that later in my life as to not be depleted. I'm not proud, or self-effacing. I've been a volunteer/server since my childhood. I don't manipulate , or do things with strings attached. I don't like to draw attention to myself, but love to acknowledge others. If someone doesn't like me, that's ok. I am peacemaker...I don't like conflict or confrontation. I really dislike fighting , anger, hate, bitterness in others. I've always stood up for myself. I'm emotional and love that. I get choked up all the time when I am coaching and my clients have breakthroughs or share life-changes that are powerful. I guess I'm an "empath". I'm authentic and happy to be an open book. Any thoughts on my type???
Renee Sullins Coaching you sound like a 9
You are a 9
You sound like a Social 9. I can relate to what you are saying in my Self-Preservation 9 sort of way.
Then you not a 2
My guess is 2. You're not an empath. True empaths are 1 in a million or less . Two's like to label themselves as empaths more than any other type.
Wowwww..You all made me cry lol but that last lady.....
What would be the opposite of becoming what others want you to be? As in, if everybody is calling each other out, you become the quiet mature presence. If everyone is trying to look picture perfect, you refuse to fake it. If everyone is avoiding conflict you call the elephant in the room. Everyone is indifferent, you show that you care. Etc...??
I hear the reference to "right sized" a few times around the 1hour 50min mark. Are there any 2s out there that can expand on the for me?
I don't hear anyone using those words at that time. Can you be more specific with what your question is?
I believe it is the awareness that 2s can have their own size rather than fitting into the size that is ‘needed’ in the relationship.
How come there is never any African American people on these self help panels? We have personalities outside of the stereotypes as well! I would love to see more inclusion and diversity 😍
Or a British Caribbean, or a straight-up African, or a West Indian.....
The ratio of black people interested in this kind of thing and willing to invest in themselves small in comparison. Sadly...
AGREED!
Just say black noone uses that term
That is promising that a 2 in growth resembles a 4, because I look a bit like a 4 at this uncertain decade, and I even tested as a SP 4 on an enneagram test that is known to be very accurate. The core desires for a 2 and 4 are so much alike that it is easy to make a typing mistake when you are going through a shift in life. E4 doesn't feel like a good fit for me, but E2 feels so accurate when you call it a befriender. I have never been comfortable with feelings because my mom is a SP 1 and does not like the intensity of feelings at all, but I hit a point in life where I was forced to feel emotion as it was overflowing, I have grown so much during this time and I am now able to sit with my friends who are really struggling and listen and be with them when they are going through really hard times.
Im caught between SP2 and SP 4 myself! Any advice??
@@sarahginther2207 Same. :) I am observing my behavior to see if I display envy or pride more and watch my tendencies. Good luck!
Two of my really good friends are 2s. I love them dearly and enjoy being around them, but as a 9, interacting with them physically exhausts me. Listening to this panel is physically exhausting me. Just an interesting observation. So strange how that happens.
I can’t tell if Im 8 or 2 do you know any good ways to differentiate?
@Apple Jack Elliott Thanks, that is validating for me
Im stuck , i don’t know what number i am .
I’m in between a 1 & 2.
I love to help be figure out life and what they are confused about and pulling them into light so to say.
And on the other hand i am pretty self critical, i always think i could have done something better and get upset about it internally .
How should i go about figuring this out better ?
I recommend getting an Enneagram book and reading it, then thinking about whether you fear being imperfect more than being unloved.
Beatrice, you mention "needy people" ... They drive me nuts (I think because off a birth mother who was a pathetic hypochondriac that spent her life being needy) .. but people in need is a whole other thing. As a 2 ... for whatever reason, I seem to be on the look out for people in need. For their sake (?) as well as my own (!)
😊 😮 Why aren't we being met halfway? Repressing is not creating what we enjoy. We can be beautiful. Attracting what we enjoy. I even made a video about reconnecting to our intention, as a Enneagram 2! So awesome thanks for THIS video inspiration. ☆ kind regards, A sweet 2
Im 4w5, know a Few 2’s and not a fan TBH. Very interesting though. I know it’s because I see the worst of myself in them.
Ok let me move on to 3 because this definitely isn't me.
I’ve heard that a lot of women identify as 2s because of how we’re expected to be in society. So how do we know for sure if we’re 2s or not?
I’m hands down a 9. I don’t resonate with a 2 at all. Take the test and see if the results resonate with you. If you don’t feel like someone is reading your soul, it’s probably not correct.
K sorry to be a pain, but i don't see the 2nd man as SP 2. Beatrice herself says in her book that SP 2's are child-like and try to be cute to get help instead of actually helping. I don't see any attempt in him to come across as cute or helpless, or to attract help. My mom is a sp 2 and she can't wait to be in a nursing home so she can have people dote on her. She talks with a child-like voice and loves it when people call her cute.
Not sure if I am a 9, 2 or 4
I've been studying the 9 types for several months and can't land firmly on one type. Childhood neglect caused my survival to go into overdrive and I can relate to many positive or negative qualities in many numbers. Looking forward to studying Suzanne Stabile's recovery work
Tracy Aguon That’s me. I have been studying it for maybe a year now. I get exhausted and take a break and then go back into studying to see if I could settle on one type but I can’t seem to do so and it frustrates me.
Here are the 2 funny songs Beatrice mentioned: "After Everything..."
ua-cam.com/video/YWFfrQtHag0/v-deo.html
ua-cam.com/video/xtKtmXzeyqs/v-deo.html
Thnx
👍🏻👈🌹🛎🤝☝️
Is Ghislaine Maxwell a social two from the unhealthy end of the spectrum?
Kathy could be a 6 ( lady wearing grey sweatshirt ).
Melitta 1235 no she is definitely a 2.
Why do you believe so ?
@@Melitta-zx4sf the story about her friend was very meaningful either way
No she is a 2
Are there any other 6s that can immediately sense an unhealthy 2 from a mile away and then get annoyed that it’s not blatantly obvious to the 2 how disingenuous they are? LOL
Amen !
How come there is never any black people on these panels? Does the enneagram not apply to POC? Why promote culture for a panel that lacks diversity?
This sounds like Avoda Zara at times. So much fake spirituality. I just can't. I'm a 2, but not like these people.
Yes like why are they all crying
How do you know it’s fake? What do you think it should look like?
There no sexual 2 in this group
Extroverted Feeling of xSFJs, 40% of women
Chestnut is sp 6 not 2
The Three Stooges will show you the way to Hell !
? U ok bud? Care to elaborate?
I wish Ms. Chestnut would not talk so much, she doesn't let the panelists talk enough. She takes away their energy in the way a "mansplainer" does.
She is the expert though…
This is very helpful, just wishing the host wouldn’t talk so much
I really like her comments!
She's also a 2...and she is leading the conversation.